1
00:00:00,197 --> 00:00:01,593
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:01,677 --> 00:00:02,844
(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)

3
00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:15,050
(SLURPING)

4
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:35,711
(LIGHTSABERS BUZZ)

5
00:00:38,046 --> 00:00:39,769
(EXPLOSION)

6
00:00:43,224 --> 00:00:45,218
EILEEN: Louis Anthony Stevens!

7
00:00:45,451 --> 00:00:50,060
Part of eating as a family means you have
to make an appearance... before dessert!

8
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,959
Yeah, um, I'm... going to
finish cleaning my room.

9
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,644
Cleaning your room?

10
00:01:00,044 --> 00:01:02,802
I hope Louis doesn't embarrass
me when June-Marie gets here.

11
00:01:02,927 --> 00:01:05,507
- Who's June-Marie?
- "Who's June-Marie?" Hello!

12
00:01:05,616 --> 00:01:07,482
Only my new
pre-high school mentor.

13
00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:10,076
She's in your geometry class.

14
00:01:10,735 --> 00:01:13,488
Pre-high school mentor? She
must be pretty ambitious, huh?

15
00:01:13,598 --> 00:01:14,705
REN: Oh, she is!

16
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:16,950
She is president
of the chess club,

17
00:01:17,050 --> 00:01:21,045
captain of the debate team, and
editor of the high school yearbook.

18
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,814
She's my idol. (LAUGHS)

19
00:01:24,339 --> 00:01:27,743
She sounds really terrific, honey,
but it's not like you're a loser.

20
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,304
With June-Marie's guidance,
when I get to high school

21
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,540
everybody will already
be impressed with me.

22
00:01:53,945 --> 00:01:56,772
Louis! You finally
decided to join us.

23
00:01:56,972 --> 00:01:58,357
All right. Who did it?

24
00:01:58,504 --> 00:02:01,206
- Who did what, Louis?
- So that's how it's going to be, huh?

25
00:02:01,343 --> 00:02:04,609
The old, "oh, we have no idea
what you're talking about" routine.

26
00:02:04,948 --> 00:02:07,258
Louis, we have no idea
what you're talking about.

27
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,308
As if you've never
heard of a certain

28
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:12,463
1995 <i>Saturday Night Live</i>
tape, featuring Mike Meyers,

29
00:02:13,297 --> 00:02:15,875
which is now
missing from my room.

30
00:02:16,288 --> 00:02:17,293
Give it a rest.

31
00:02:17,456 --> 00:02:19,656
- Who's Mike Meyers? What's he on about?
- I don't know.

32
00:02:21,222 --> 00:02:22,490
I'm not a detective.

33
00:02:24,309 --> 00:02:26,698
But I did watch ten whole
minutes of <i>Nash Bridges </i>once.

34
00:02:28,646 --> 00:02:30,998
And I promise you, I'm going
to catch whoever did this.

35
00:02:31,465 --> 00:02:33,743
Champ? Maybe you misplaced it.

36
00:02:33,914 --> 00:02:36,003
Of course, that's what
somebody wants me to think.

37
00:02:37,515 --> 00:02:39,015
(SIGHING AND GROANING)

38
00:02:39,808 --> 00:02:41,567
All right. I'm going
to turn the lights off.

39
00:02:42,289 --> 00:02:46,360
And when I turn them back
on, I expect to see the tape

40
00:02:47,315 --> 00:02:49,435
just to the right of these
mashed potatoes, all right?

41
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,399
DONNIE: So, June-Marie.
You said she's in my class?

42
00:02:56,624 --> 00:02:58,943
- REN: Geometry.
- DONNIE: Oh, geometry!

43
00:02:59,047 --> 00:03:00,344
I don't think I've ever met her.

44
00:03:04,407 --> 00:03:06,632
(SIGHS) All right, I'm going
to do this one more time.

45
00:03:08,607 --> 00:03:10,421
And then it's going
to get ugly, my friends.

46
00:03:15,786 --> 00:03:18,045
REN: Mother, may I
please have permission

47
00:03:18,133 --> 00:03:22,258
to FedEx Louis to Timbuktu
before June-Marie gets here?

48
00:03:22,446 --> 00:03:24,085
EILEEN: Absolutely not.

49
00:03:24,685 --> 00:03:26,796
UPS is so much cheaper.

50
00:03:30,412 --> 00:03:33,982
It is an honor to make an
acquaintance with one so...

51
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:35,170
Too formal.

52
00:03:35,384 --> 00:03:36,605
You are so rad.

53
00:03:36,685 --> 00:03:38,974
No... I look up to
you like 24-seven.

54
00:03:39,121 --> 00:03:40,167
That's not me.

55
00:03:40,463 --> 00:03:41,861
It... No.

56
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:44,905
Hey, June-Marie.

57
00:03:45,105 --> 00:03:46,782
No. Uh...

58
00:03:47,633 --> 00:03:52,221
It is an honor to make an acquaintance
with one so accomplished as yourself.

59
00:03:52,601 --> 00:03:53,664
No.

60
00:03:54,039 --> 00:03:56,375
I am really glad that
you could make it.

61
00:03:56,726 --> 00:03:58,436
- Thanks.
- Oh!

62
00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:01,876
June-Marie. Uh...
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

63
00:04:02,248 --> 00:04:04,350
Come on in. You're already in.

64
00:04:04,513 --> 00:04:07,570
- Um... Yeah. I'm a dork.
- Relax.

65
00:04:07,783 --> 00:04:08,929
Sure.

66
00:04:13,718 --> 00:04:15,678
Great room. Clean.

67
00:04:16,491 --> 00:04:17,959
Good attention to Feng Shui.

68
00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:21,667
But you know what I like most
about it? It reminds me of my room.

69
00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:25,254
That is the nicest thing that
anyone has ever said to me.

70
00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:27,935
Mentoring you is
going to be great.

71
00:04:28,326 --> 00:04:30,534
You'll learn a lot, and I'll
complete my do-gooder part

72
00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:32,845
of my five-year plan to
be a self-actualized teen.

73
00:04:32,941 --> 00:04:36,599
You have a five-year
plan? I have a five-year plan.

74
00:04:37,045 --> 00:04:38,813
Where do you end and I begin?

75
00:04:39,060 --> 00:04:41,521
(GIRLS LAUGH)

76
00:04:42,968 --> 00:04:44,715
Ah. Laughter.

77
00:04:47,026 --> 00:04:48,667
I used to have a
lot to laugh about.

78
00:04:49,287 --> 00:04:52,239
About nine minutes'
worth... on videotape.

79
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:56,977
Hmm! But I'm sure you wouldn't know
anything about that, now, would you?

80
00:04:57,252 --> 00:04:59,530
Um... Louis! (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

81
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,850
I really don't think that there's enough
room here for you and your paranoia.

82
00:05:02,938 --> 00:05:05,478
I have the right to question
all the suspects. You...

83
00:05:07,275 --> 00:05:09,448
LOUIS: Right after I
stop this nosebleed.

84
00:05:17,569 --> 00:05:18,732
Wow.

85
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,077
You did this whole
layout all by yourself.

86
00:05:24,163 --> 00:05:28,250
Layout, design, copy, photography,
and binding, to be exact.

87
00:05:30,261 --> 00:05:31,779
And you were in
eighth grade then.

88
00:05:33,579 --> 00:05:35,199
I'm in awe.

89
00:05:35,637 --> 00:05:38,586
I know. Could you imagine
what we could accomplish

90
00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:40,621
on the high school
yearbook staff together?

91
00:05:41,276 --> 00:05:42,289
Excuse me, "we"?

92
00:05:42,494 --> 00:05:44,426
There's an opening for
assistant editor next year.

93
00:05:44,450 --> 00:05:48,254
But they would never give that
position to a lowly freshman, would they?

94
00:05:48,683 --> 00:05:51,085
- They did once.
- You? No!

95
00:05:51,415 --> 00:05:52,470
(SPLASHING)

96
00:05:52,554 --> 00:05:54,326
LOUIS: Okay, it's not
in Donnie's fish tank.

97
00:05:54,523 --> 00:05:55,612
Who wants sushi?

98
00:05:55,962 --> 00:05:57,263
Don't ask. (SIGHS)

99
00:05:57,505 --> 00:06:00,161
Anyway, I know a
winner when I see one.

100
00:06:01,224 --> 00:06:03,370
And if I put in a word for
you with the yearbook advisor,

101
00:06:03,394 --> 00:06:04,862
maybe we could
make it happen again.

102
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:09,054
JUNE-MARIE: Judging from
your records you've got the talent

103
00:06:09,416 --> 00:06:11,627
and the drive, and...

104
00:06:12,303 --> 00:06:15,397
Looking at you... is like
looking at a young me.

105
00:06:16,032 --> 00:06:17,700
Okay. (LAUGHS)

106
00:06:19,101 --> 00:06:21,470
That's the nicest thing that
anyone has ever said to me.

107
00:06:22,046 --> 00:06:24,164
- I'll see you tomorrow, okay?
- Okay.

108
00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:26,375
Thanks again.

109
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,544
(MUFFLED) I want you...

110
00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:30,658
I want you two to know...

111
00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:32,806
Until I find that tape...

112
00:06:34,417 --> 00:06:35,893
everybody is a suspect.

113
00:06:41,248 --> 00:06:43,534
You know what? I wish you
would take this more seriously.

114
00:06:44,389 --> 00:06:47,571
- It's just a missing videotape.
- No! It's <i>Saturday Night Live!</i>

115
00:06:47,806 --> 00:06:49,446
It's the tape that made
me want to be funny.

116
00:06:49,470 --> 00:06:52,067
I learned my funniest bit
from this tape, "the whiners,"

117
00:06:52,217 --> 00:06:53,360
and I want my tape.

118
00:06:54,437 --> 00:06:55,696
Louis. Let it go.

119
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:58,616
This whole detective thing
isn't working out for me.

120
00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:00,618
Hey, Tawny,

121
00:07:01,144 --> 00:07:03,301
I couldn't help but overhearing
you had a little problem.

122
00:07:03,325 --> 00:07:05,831
- Actually, that would be Louis's problem.
- That's my problem.

123
00:07:06,228 --> 00:07:09,226
Why don't I just lend you
my XL-201 listening device

124
00:07:09,506 --> 00:07:11,700
and high-frequency,
low-contrast,

125
00:07:11,987 --> 00:07:14,448
fiber-optic concealable
surveillance camera,

126
00:07:14,553 --> 00:07:16,150
with motion-sensing activation?

127
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,235
It always works for me.

128
00:07:19,908 --> 00:07:22,247
Oh, what the heck.
We'll do it your way.

129
00:07:23,027 --> 00:07:24,095
Yeah.

130
00:07:25,876 --> 00:07:28,771
- Assistant editor!
- Can you believe it? (LAUGHS)

131
00:07:29,104 --> 00:07:30,523
I finally have met my idol

132
00:07:30,623 --> 00:07:32,458
and she's not only
going to be my mentor

133
00:07:32,633 --> 00:07:35,152
but she's going to make sure
that I follow in her footsteps.

134
00:07:35,724 --> 00:07:38,582
Ren, you were going to do
all that great stuff anyway.

135
00:07:38,677 --> 00:07:41,675
Oh, yeah, sure, but with
June-Marie helping me,

136
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:43,911
everyone in high school
will already know who I am.

137
00:07:44,499 --> 00:07:45,637
How can I fail?

138
00:07:51,281 --> 00:07:52,544
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)

139
00:07:56,387 --> 00:07:58,033
If this looks complicated...

140
00:08:00,210 --> 00:08:01,315
It is.

141
00:08:01,836 --> 00:08:03,055
Oh.

142
00:08:04,039 --> 00:08:06,392
Glad to hear it. Now,
how does this all work?

143
00:08:08,369 --> 00:08:11,071
This may look like an
ordinary picture frame, right?

144
00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:12,455
TAWNY: Mm-hmm.

145
00:08:12,605 --> 00:08:16,126
Happy family on
vacation. Louis's fly is open.

146
00:08:16,698 --> 00:08:18,379
What? No, it... No, it's not.

147
00:08:18,712 --> 00:08:22,224
But... concealed on the back we
have a multi-directional microphone.

148
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:27,287
Capable of hearing a pin
drop within a 25-foot radius.

149
00:08:29,636 --> 00:08:30,650
Louis.

150
00:08:33,223 --> 00:08:34,227
- Testing.
- (BUZZING)

151
00:08:34,327 --> 00:08:36,180
(SHRIEKS AND WHIMPERS)

152
00:08:36,272 --> 00:08:37,272
Perfect.

153
00:08:37,602 --> 00:08:38,716
And over here...

154
00:08:40,822 --> 00:08:43,429
We have a regular,
run-of-the-mill light switch.

155
00:08:43,979 --> 00:08:45,273
Simple as that, right?

156
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:47,786
I think not.

157
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,399
Inside is a camera no
bigger than my toenail.

158
00:08:54,302 --> 00:08:55,306
(THUDS)

159
00:08:55,437 --> 00:08:56,837
(GROANING)

160
00:08:57,121 --> 00:08:58,360
For god's sake.

161
00:09:00,171 --> 00:09:03,340
It's one of several hidden
inside and outside the house.

162
00:09:03,512 --> 00:09:07,686
Anyone coming in will be
captured on an audio/video system

163
00:09:07,986 --> 00:09:10,639
accessed through a bank
of monitors in your room.

164
00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:13,959
That's... great. You
think it'll really work?

165
00:09:14,176 --> 00:09:15,801
(LAUGHS LOUDLY)

166
00:09:18,326 --> 00:09:19,398
I hope so.

167
00:09:20,244 --> 00:09:21,400
I hope so, too.

168
00:09:24,141 --> 00:09:25,304
We'll let you know.

169
00:09:26,372 --> 00:09:28,908
Hey, Tawny, you think
maybe I could set up

170
00:09:29,008 --> 00:09:30,801
a surveillance system
in your house sometime?

171
00:09:31,385 --> 00:09:32,705
LOUIS: Tawny
doesn't have a home.

172
00:09:32,941 --> 00:09:34,342
- (GASPS)
- She lives on her bike.

173
00:09:34,579 --> 00:09:36,331
It's a long story.
It's very tragic.

174
00:09:37,637 --> 00:09:38,926
Pack it up.

175
00:09:47,439 --> 00:09:49,293
(CHUCKLES)

176
00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:56,476
Oh...

177
00:09:58,432 --> 00:09:59,505
(WINCES)

178
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,741
(LAUGHS) <i>Thank you.
Yeah, it's gotten bigger.</i>

179
00:10:13,452 --> 00:10:14,502
(LAUGHS)

180
00:10:14,649 --> 00:10:15,838
One more time from the top.

181
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,549
- Mr. Maloney.
- Photography teacher.

182
00:10:18,687 --> 00:10:21,952
Only accepts photos that are
evenly cropped and put on card stock.

183
00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:25,222
- JUNE-MARIE: And...
- REN: And... (TICKING)

184
00:10:25,422 --> 00:10:27,272
- (ALARM RINGS)
- Lens cap.

185
00:10:27,395 --> 00:10:30,244
(GROANS) Always put
the cap back on the lens.

186
00:10:30,394 --> 00:10:32,354
Details, woman!
This ain't junior high.

187
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:35,824
- Cap on lens, cap on lens, cap on lens.
- Okay, relax. You're doing great.

188
00:10:36,062 --> 00:10:40,529
- You really think so?
- Absolutely. With my help, you can't miss.

189
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:41,905
Thank you.

190
00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:43,549
Hey, Ren, phone
for you. It's Jewel.

191
00:10:43,699 --> 00:10:47,177
- I told you to hold my calls.
- She is on hold. Duh.

192
00:10:50,334 --> 00:10:51,782
REN: Hi. How are you?

193
00:10:53,834 --> 00:10:55,577
- Hey.
- Hey.

194
00:10:57,071 --> 00:10:59,022
So you're in my, uh,
geometry class, right?

195
00:10:59,197 --> 00:11:01,425
Am I? How 'bout that?

196
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,969
So I guess I'll see
you tomorrow in class.

197
00:11:04,132 --> 00:11:06,014
Oh, yeah. Whatever. Bye.

198
00:11:11,331 --> 00:11:12,865
(PHONE SPEED DIALING)

199
00:11:13,187 --> 00:11:15,722
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my total gosh!

200
00:11:15,922 --> 00:11:18,756
You will never guess who I was
fully and completely talking to just now.

201
00:11:18,780 --> 00:11:20,687
Yeah, Donnie Stevens. Yes.

202
00:11:21,303 --> 00:11:22,671
<i>My plan is working.</i>

203
00:11:24,265 --> 00:11:27,701
<i>If I hang out with his lame sister
long enough, I know he'll ask me out.</i>

204
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:32,523
Assistant yearbook
editor? As if!

205
00:11:42,508 --> 00:11:43,521
Ren?

206
00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:46,361
I gotta tell you something
about June-Marie.

207
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:51,959
Oh... Louis, for the last time she
did not steal your stupid comedy tape.

208
00:11:52,049 --> 00:11:53,781
She's not as cool
as you think she is.

209
00:11:54,015 --> 00:11:56,513
June-Marie happens to be
the coolest person that I know,

210
00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,167
and nothing that you can say
or do is going to change that.

211
00:12:00,851 --> 00:12:04,029
- Understood?
- Yeah. Understood.

212
00:12:07,208 --> 00:12:08,888
LOUIS: <i>Funniest thing
happened to me today.</i>

213
00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:11,703
I want to tell my sister
she's being taken for a ride.

214
00:12:12,823 --> 00:12:15,916
Problem is, sis isn't too
used to me telling true stories.

215
00:12:16,471 --> 00:12:17,726
(CLEARS THROAT)

216
00:12:18,301 --> 00:12:21,471
So, you know, I'm realizing

217
00:12:21,646 --> 00:12:25,092
that every time I try to do
something nice for this family

218
00:12:25,717 --> 00:12:27,110
nobody ever believes me.

219
00:12:27,670 --> 00:12:30,973
So now I got to figure
out how to tell her...

220
00:12:31,978 --> 00:12:33,213
without telling her.

221
00:12:35,694 --> 00:12:36,870
The worst part is...

222
00:12:38,597 --> 00:12:40,707
I got a zit the size
of a Volkswagen.

223
00:12:41,057 --> 00:12:42,159
(CAR HORN HONKING)

224
00:12:46,046 --> 00:12:47,635
If only we had a time machine,

225
00:12:48,023 --> 00:12:49,743
we could go back to
when June-Marie said it,

226
00:12:49,842 --> 00:12:52,803
tape her, come back
to the present, and bam!

227
00:12:53,358 --> 00:12:54,525
Oh, that's practical.

228
00:12:54,847 --> 00:12:56,874
See, the problem with,
uh, spying on people

229
00:12:56,999 --> 00:12:58,475
is you can't control
what they do.

230
00:12:59,084 --> 00:13:01,712
I wish we had never put that
surveillance equipment in my house.

231
00:13:02,193 --> 00:13:04,247
Oh, hold on second,
all right? Wait, hold on.

232
00:13:07,121 --> 00:13:10,157
You know, I was on the internet
in a counter-intelligence chat room,

233
00:13:10,362 --> 00:13:11,738
And I read how
the FBI can implant

234
00:13:11,835 --> 00:13:14,075
a microchip in your tooth and
detect your every movement.

235
00:13:16,498 --> 00:13:17,698
- Twitty!
- TWITTY: Well,

236
00:13:18,162 --> 00:13:20,814
it would explain how my mom
knew I ate that extra Hot Pocket.

237
00:13:21,202 --> 00:13:22,291
LOUIS: Listen to this.

238
00:13:22,537 --> 00:13:26,252
"Dear June-Marie, every
time you visit my sister,"

239
00:13:26,452 --> 00:13:29,239
"I wonder when you're going to
give me a chance to ask you out..."

240
00:13:29,889 --> 00:13:31,111
Um... I'm stuck.

241
00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:33,360
- "Meet me at my house today at 5:00."
- Okay.

242
00:13:33,902 --> 00:13:35,270
TAWNY: "I'll get rid of Ren."

243
00:13:35,813 --> 00:13:38,181
- "I..."
- "...love ya, Donnie."

244
00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:40,117
"Donnie." (CHUCKLES)

245
00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:44,212
Hello? Is this thing on?

246
00:13:47,103 --> 00:13:49,910
(SNORING)

247
00:13:55,157 --> 00:13:56,907
(SNORES)

248
00:14:01,242 --> 00:14:02,539
- Hey, honey.
- Hi.

249
00:14:03,344 --> 00:14:04,491
Hey, look what I bought.

250
00:14:06,314 --> 00:14:08,820
- EILEEN: <i>Want a turkey sandwich?</i>
- Did I hear "turkey"?

251
00:14:12,007 --> 00:14:13,626
STEVE: <i>Listen, we need
to talk about something.</i>

252
00:14:13,650 --> 00:14:14,650
EILEEN: <i>Okay.</i>

253
00:14:14,775 --> 00:14:16,724
STEVE: <i>You recorded
over Louis's comedy tape.</i>

254
00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:17,905
- EILEEN: <i>No!</i>
- STEVE<i>: Yes.</i>

255
00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:19,206
How?

256
00:14:20,061 --> 00:14:22,059
Wait a minute.
What did I record?

257
00:14:22,472 --> 00:14:24,644
<i>- Meet the Press.
- Meet the Pre...</i>

258
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:28,081
Oh, no... That is your show.

259
00:14:28,219 --> 00:14:30,901
Yes, but when I asked for a
blank tape, you handed me this.

260
00:14:31,039 --> 00:14:33,107
Oh, so it makes it my fault?

261
00:14:33,341 --> 00:14:37,091
All right, let's not point fingers.
We have to figure out what to do.

262
00:14:38,393 --> 00:14:39,913
So you thought
you'd get away with it?

263
00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:42,036
What do you mean?

264
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,199
Oh, I think we all know
what I'm talking about here.

265
00:14:44,223 --> 00:14:46,103
EILEEN: Now, Louis,
it's not what it looks like.

266
00:14:46,166 --> 00:14:47,167
Yes, it is.

267
00:14:48,792 --> 00:14:50,862
I always know when
there's turkey in the house.

268
00:14:51,289 --> 00:14:52,339
LOUIS: Mmm.

269
00:14:58,322 --> 00:15:00,188
- You got us, honey.
- Yeah.

270
00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:07,979
(CHUCKLES) These
days, nothing gets past me.

271
00:15:13,193 --> 00:15:14,219
<i>Where are you going?</i>

272
00:15:14,761 --> 00:15:16,691
<i>Tell Dad, because June-Marie
canceled our meeting,</i>

273
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:18,275
<i>that I'm going to
the library to study.</i>

274
00:15:18,615 --> 00:15:21,268
Right. Five o'clock.

275
00:15:21,856 --> 00:15:23,695
(BEEPING)

276
00:15:27,958 --> 00:15:28,983
June-Marie.

277
00:15:29,435 --> 00:15:31,144
LOUIS: Ren! I'm
so glad you're here.

278
00:15:31,945 --> 00:15:33,567
- REN: Not for long.
- You can't leave.

279
00:15:33,722 --> 00:15:34,839
Why not?

280
00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:39,161
- 'Cause I need your help.
- Sorry, I'm not a psychiatrist.

281
00:15:39,912 --> 00:15:42,097
With my history
homework... Yeah.

282
00:15:42,218 --> 00:15:45,477
I saw how great it's been
for you, having a mentor.

283
00:15:46,152 --> 00:15:47,592
I thought maybe
you could mentor me.

284
00:15:47,749 --> 00:15:51,239
Seriously? Where's
the, uh, hidden camera?

285
00:15:53,421 --> 00:15:55,213
Ren, you're the
smartest person I know.

286
00:15:56,616 --> 00:15:58,020
You're great at
explaining things.

287
00:16:00,065 --> 00:16:03,468
And, uh, you're everything
I need in a mentor.

288
00:16:06,196 --> 00:16:07,247
Please.

289
00:16:07,619 --> 00:16:09,232
When you put it that way...

290
00:16:22,179 --> 00:16:23,914
Louis, do you want
me to help you or not?

291
00:16:24,014 --> 00:16:25,022
Uh, yeah.

292
00:16:25,566 --> 00:16:26,708
(KNOCKING)

293
00:16:29,269 --> 00:16:31,154
Oh, uh, hi, June-Marie.

294
00:16:31,525 --> 00:16:34,925
Hi. Well, here I am,
five o'clock on the dot.

295
00:16:35,296 --> 00:16:37,002
Yeah, Ren thought
you had canceled.

296
00:16:37,469 --> 00:16:38,970
- Really?
- Yeah.

297
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:40,689
Wherever did she go?

298
00:16:41,157 --> 00:16:42,207
To the library.

299
00:16:42,582 --> 00:16:45,560
Mm, good work.
I've got all evening.

300
00:16:51,834 --> 00:16:54,252
You cannot be listening to
music while we're studying.

301
00:16:54,382 --> 00:16:55,904
- I can't hear it.
- Exactly.

302
00:16:57,197 --> 00:16:58,318
Where are you going?

303
00:16:58,572 --> 00:17:01,409
Oh, I'll be right back. I left
my notebook downstairs.

304
00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:03,595
- Be right back.
- (GROANS)

305
00:17:07,875 --> 00:17:09,434
So, hey... How about...

306
00:17:10,164 --> 00:17:12,887
How about that, uh,
geometry, you know?

307
00:17:14,594 --> 00:17:15,632
(DONNIE SIGHS)

308
00:17:17,009 --> 00:17:18,385
- Hey, Louis!
- Hmm?

309
00:17:18,469 --> 00:17:19,870
Uh, what are you doing?

310
00:17:20,704 --> 00:17:21,763
Don't mind me.

311
00:17:23,657 --> 00:17:26,451
Mom wanted me to
earthquake-proof the house,

312
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:28,845
so I'm putting this here.

313
00:17:29,434 --> 00:17:31,456
Okay? See? It's
better for everyone.

314
00:17:31,862 --> 00:17:33,149
Enjoy. (CLAPS)

315
00:17:35,043 --> 00:17:37,621
- Your brother's a little weird.
- (CHUCKLES)

316
00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:39,064
Ew.

317
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:44,553
So where's the notebook?

318
00:17:45,445 --> 00:17:49,107
- Silly me. It's computer homework.
- This is ridiculous. I'm out.

319
00:17:49,458 --> 00:17:50,671
(REN SIGHS)

320
00:17:50,951 --> 00:17:51,976
(BEEP)

321
00:17:52,298 --> 00:17:54,312
(WHIRRING)

322
00:17:57,825 --> 00:17:58,935
Whoa.

323
00:17:59,535 --> 00:18:02,321
JUNE-MARIE: <i>The truth is,
I only became Ren's mentor</i>

324
00:18:02,421 --> 00:18:04,422
<i>so I could get to
know you a little better.</i>

325
00:18:05,858 --> 00:18:09,135
I didn't really want you to
see that, but... I felt you had to.

326
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:12,272
JUNE-MARIE: <i>So glad
we finally got together.</i>

327
00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:14,917
LOUIS: So you don't need her,

328
00:18:15,342 --> 00:18:18,979
and don't need to, you know, make
shortcuts to get on the yearbook.

329
00:18:20,171 --> 00:18:21,536
You're Ren Stevens.

330
00:18:22,024 --> 00:18:24,449
- You're the Ren Stevens.
- (DOOR CLOSES)

331
00:18:24,839 --> 00:18:27,746
I'm just so sorry you had to find
out about June-Marie like this, Ren.

332
00:18:29,814 --> 00:18:31,584
Ren? Ren?

333
00:18:32,634 --> 00:18:34,995
Oh, wow, June-Marie,
what a surprise. Hey, Donnie.

334
00:18:35,124 --> 00:18:36,924
Do you think you could
excuse us for a minute?

335
00:18:37,018 --> 00:18:38,132
- You know what?
- REN: Yeah?

336
00:18:38,156 --> 00:18:40,008
I have no idea
what's going on here.

337
00:18:40,608 --> 00:18:44,004
I'm going to go in the kitchen, where
the world makes sense. Excuse me.

338
00:18:45,793 --> 00:18:49,676
So... Your mom
made a full recovery.

339
00:18:49,856 --> 00:18:54,990
Wow. You know, 20 minutes,
that's a pretty quick cure for malaria.

340
00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:57,967
- Modern medicine. Go figure.
- REN: Yeah. (CHUCKLING)

341
00:18:58,272 --> 00:18:59,952
I just heard everything
you said to Donnie.

342
00:19:00,087 --> 00:19:02,672
Who barely knows
or cares who you are.

343
00:19:02,847 --> 00:19:04,892
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- REN: Save it!

344
00:19:04,916 --> 00:19:07,160
I'm on to your little
scheme, June-Marie.

345
00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:09,696
Well, I've got news for
you, little Miss Pretentious.

346
00:19:10,255 --> 00:19:13,308
I can get that job on the
yearbook without your help.

347
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:15,110
(CHUCKLES)

348
00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:17,729
I cannot believe that I
ever looked up to you.

349
00:19:18,392 --> 00:19:21,299
You know, the only thing that
you could possibly teach me

350
00:19:21,529 --> 00:19:23,802
is how not to act when
I get to high school.

351
00:19:23,977 --> 00:19:25,352
(LAUGHS)

352
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,364
<i>Don't let the door hit
you on the way out.</i>

353
00:19:40,694 --> 00:19:42,604
- Man, you really gave it to her!
- (REN SIGHS)

354
00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:45,206
I mean, pow! Right in
the kisser. It was beautiful.

355
00:19:45,369 --> 00:19:47,784
- And you...
- There's no need to thank me.

356
00:19:48,095 --> 00:19:50,820
You knew about June-Marie all
along and you didn't even tell me.

357
00:19:51,046 --> 00:19:52,046
Wait...

358
00:19:52,121 --> 00:19:53,965
- You're not going to thank me, are you?
- No!

359
00:19:54,282 --> 00:19:56,419
If I would have told you, you
wouldn't believe me anyways.

360
00:19:56,443 --> 00:19:57,569
Oh, yes I...

361
00:19:58,766 --> 00:20:00,203
- Okay, no, I wouldn't have.
- Mm-hmm.

362
00:20:00,227 --> 00:20:03,216
But... I will next time.

363
00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:07,956
Remember that time when you
found your underwear in the freezer?

364
00:20:08,556 --> 00:20:10,749
And you thought it was
me? Remember that?

365
00:20:11,316 --> 00:20:13,886
- LOUIS: That was Mom.
- Oh, I don't believe you!

366
00:20:13,986 --> 00:20:14,986
LOUIS: Yeah, it was Mom.

367
00:20:15,846 --> 00:20:19,357
- Yeah. And the time with the balloons?
- Uh-huh?

368
00:20:19,441 --> 00:20:20,921
- That wasn't me either.
- Oh, really?

369
00:20:20,959 --> 00:20:22,199
- Yeah, it was not me.
- Really?

370
00:20:22,316 --> 00:20:24,054
- With the balloons? It wasn't me.
- Really?

371
00:20:24,167 --> 00:20:26,756
- I'm not listening to you.
- And the time at the zoo...

372
00:20:26,856 --> 00:20:28,277
- REN: La la la la.
- That wasn't me either.

373
00:20:28,301 --> 00:20:29,712
- That wasn't me!
- REN: La la la la la.

374
00:20:29,736 --> 00:20:31,016
- REN: La la la la.
- And then...

375
00:20:31,098 --> 00:20:34,022
when we were at the shaving
cream store, that was you!

376
00:20:34,126 --> 00:20:35,165
REN: Louis!

377
00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:41,104
- How did he take the news?
- I thought you told him.

378
00:20:41,229 --> 00:20:44,183
Oh! This is getting ridiculous!

379
00:20:44,523 --> 00:20:46,713
We cannot be
afraid of our own kid.

380
00:20:47,110 --> 00:20:49,529
- We have to take care of this now.
- I agree.

381
00:20:50,192 --> 00:20:51,206
Oh!

382
00:20:51,631 --> 00:20:53,016
- EILEEN: Louis?
- Hmm?

383
00:20:53,087 --> 00:20:54,451
We have to tell you something.

384
00:20:54,580 --> 00:20:56,811
Don't tell me we don't
have any cherry cola.

385
00:20:57,889 --> 00:20:58,889
No...

386
00:21:00,547 --> 00:21:03,935
I'm a top-notch gumshoe. I
got a nose for these things.

387
00:21:05,529 --> 00:21:06,579
Yep.

388
00:21:13,082 --> 00:21:14,195
How about that?

389
00:21:14,930 --> 00:21:17,140
He's developed his
own detective vocabulary.

390
00:21:17,270 --> 00:21:21,423
Hmm... That's educational.
And I bet he's reading more.

391
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:24,456
<i>And aren't the best
mysteries the unsolved ones?</i>

392
00:21:25,637 --> 00:21:26,841
EILEEN: <i>Mm-hmm.</i>

393
00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:32,159
<i>Burn it.</i>

394
00:21:44,672 --> 00:21:45,852
(EXHALES)

395
00:21:58,375 --> 00:22:00,600
(SIGHS) Just a
matter of time, people.

396
00:22:04,217 --> 00:22:06,420
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)