Sandy!
Sandy, where are you?
Jesus Christ, Zoe. You're chewing on the furniture.
Why don't you just bring it down a little?
Oh, I'm sorry that I didn't brush up on my Stanislavski to convincingly search
for somebody that we know isn't fucking here.
I found something!
Feces, human feces.
Sandy must be hiding out somewhere in the school,
then coming down here to go number two.
Sorry to break it to you, Pepé,
but this is where we've all been going number two since the plumbing died.
Wait. Where have you been going?
Oh, my God, she hasn't.
- Okay, I think we're done here.
Absolutely.
In the words of that Scottish mother from YouTube, disgusting!
No, I mean, I think we're done looking for Sandy.
Obviously, we have bigger priorities now, like fucking toilets.
No way.
If we're willing to abandon our humanity one week in to give up on one of our own,
then we might as well skip straight to eating someone.
- What the fuck?
But, Pepé, we've been looking for a whole week.
And you heard Sandy. She fucking hated it here.
A row boat is missing.
We can't find her bag.
And we all know she'd never leave without her fucking bag, right?
Yeah, and also all the poos are accounted for.
- But we need to... - We need to get the radio working.
Figure out which berries are safe to eat.
Find a way to get all of our IUDs out before they rot away in our uteruses.
We need to start planning ahead,
and that means finding a way to live up here.
Permanently.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Hey, it's okay.
I know we're worried about Sandy, but I'm sure she's fine.
Halfway to being reunited with Constable by now.
We're not worried about Sandy, okay? We're worried about our family
- and our friends and... - Our bongs.
If we just start focusing on survival now, aren't we just giving up on everyone?
Exactly.
And that is why I, for one, refuse to stop looking for Sandy,
because I, for one, refuse to believe
that no one else is out there looking for us, too.
I mean, they have to be.
Right?
Look, this shit is hard. I get it.
We're not meant to be okay.
Which is why, starting now,
I'm introducing a mandatory emotional release hour.
Do whatever you need to do to work through the pain
and the worry and the grief.
Because nothing could have prepared us for this.
No amount of meditation or medication or self-care.
- [Tegan] Breathe in.
So, please, just give yourself permission to fall apart...
- Breathe out.
...for one whole hour a day.
I'm urging you to cry,
sob, howl at the moon. I don't care.
We will get our shit together.
We'll deploy all our strengths until we master the basics
of food, water, plumbing and power.
Occupied.
But don't for a second underestimate the pain of being back here.
All our teenage baggage has floated to the surface,
and now we're stuck with the people we thought
we'd know forever
until, you know, boys and jobs and forks in the road got in the way.
So, for all our sakes, get over your shit and let it out,
because if we don't,
I promise you, we'll never survive this.
This is a very difficult situation, Amelia.
I don't imagine you'll be returning to the school.
Your father has arranged for you to return home to the property
on the 3:00 p.m. train.
I'll allow another girl to help you pack up your dorm room.
Zoe, perhaps?
Oh.
We're not really friends any more.
So, what unique qualifications can you bring to the survival effort?
I actually started in paediatrics because I love kids.
And then I was promoted to the ER, stat.
Stat, it's a medical term for "fast."
As in, uh, "I need lunch, stat."
Just kidding.
But seriously, is lunch soon or...
- You had ducks, correct? - Yeah.
I also had an investment portfolio totalling 17 mil in diversified crypto.
But now that legumes are trading at an all-time high,
I'm cashing in, baby. Fuck's sake.
- I've worked for several years as a... - Teresa!
I could really go for a tea right now. Could you grab me one?
Caretaker school captain, homeroom coordinator,
uh, student delegate to the Uniform Committee.
If it weren't for me,
this school would never have brought back the winter berets.
So you printed these off and brought them to the reunion?
And what industry did you work in?
Marketing.
Great.
Beer. I made beer for living.
Oh, so you must know some chemistry then.
I know that you can't put a flat beer in a SodaStream bottle
and try to put bubbles back in it
unless you want it to ricochet out the window, Saskia.
- As I was saying, I've worked as a...
Too hot, Teresa. Too hot.
And that's what 10,000 hours gets ya.
Third chair in the Australian Symphony Orchestra
and not much else?
I farm...
peanuts.
Don't worry, Amelia. I've got big plans for you.
All right, ladies, listen up. You've been split into two groups.
On the right, we have the Innovation and Research Division, led by Amelia,
and they will be tasked with finding a way to generate electricity by tonight.
- And on the stairs,
we have the Infrastructure team.
You guys are gonna be digging long-drop toilets.
What? Nerds and gronks, basically.
Well, I'm going to be earning my bowl of rice tonight by digging long-drops.
And Teresa remains on food, and Zoe is your student council rep.
- "Too cools" privilege continues. - Sluts.
Guys, if you've got questions, suggestions or concerns about your allocation,
like I just said, Zoe is your student council rep.
You can take it up with her.
Uh, uh...
Yeah, hit me up, gal pals.
Yeah, I got a quezzie.
How is it that this school feeds 800 girls a day,
but after one week, all we have left to eat is rice?
- Yeah. What the fuck? - I hardcore second that.
- Who thirds it? - Yo.
How are you going to stop 100%
of hungry bitches from dying of starvation,
Zoe?
Is that a question? It kind of sounds more like a comment.
Yeah, how come she's getting preferential treatment,
even though it's her fault that we're stuck here?
Kind of like how it's your fault
for draining the generators last week, Phoebe, charging your little laptop.
- Nerd. - And, Tegan,
I saw you sneak a spoonful of rice out of Unremarkable Lisa's bowl last night.
It's Forgettable Laura.
- Sorry, what? - And, Renee,
I know you're hiding a menstrual cup in there.
We could all be using that.
Sorry.
- Zoe... - Oh, I don't...
I think, I think we're good. I think we've got the message, Sas.
Great.
Look, I know that you're all hungry, but I do see your strengths.
And if there's a group of women who can succeed at surviving, it's us.
- So let's get to work, okay? - Whoo!
No! No, no, no.
Under no circumstances could I be considered a gronk.
I refuse to dig long-drop toilets.
Fuck your allocations.
I'm looking for Sandy.
"Qui quaerit, invenit."
He who seeks, finds.
I lobbied hard for the committee to make it,
"She who seeks finds," but it didn't translate as well.
Sounds like somebody failed to emotionally release last night.
What?
Like, as in she hasn't taken a shit yet.
Oh, good one.
Okay, look, Sandy's story needs an ending.
I need you to convince Genevieve
that Sandy was lost and bereft without her mutt.
She found her bag and she fucked off.
End of story. You got it?
- But how? - "Yeah, Saskia, I've got it."
Thank you.
Dear bitches,
have gone back...
to States.
Hi, mate.
What you doing?
Need any help with, um...
Dewey Decimal System?
612 is where you'll find pictures of dicks in anatomy textbooks.
- Don't ask me how I know that. - Nope. I'm good.
You can go back to pretending to do something.
My job is to help you, friend.
Bit above your reading level, don't you think?
Cool, cool, cool. Uh...
Well, I'm here if you need anything.
Just like in netball.
Here if you need wing defence. JK, wing defence never got the ball.
Hey, where are you going?
Oh, Zoe.
I shan't hold my breath for your help.
Wait, what?
- Hey. - Hey.
I was just...
Tuck shop, anyone?
- Yes. You wanna come? - Oh. No, that's okay.
But if you don't mind waiting...
- a sec... - Zo-Zo. Come on, let's go.
Zoe, I really need to talk...
Zo-Zo, let's go.
Amelia, please come.
We haven't hung out in ages.
Uh, no. Go without me.
I need to see Danny anyway.
See? She doesn't have time for you, Zoe.
Guys, little help.
Come on, Phoebe. You used to memorize this shit in your sleep.
Um...
♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪
♪ Power equals I squared R ♪
And the "I" means ice cream.
And the "R" is ratatouille or some shit.
I can't think. I'm so fucking hungry.
Soz.
Guys, how good does that rat look?
I could go some deep fried rat right about now.
Samesies.
Doc, what's that yellow stuff?
Oh! Me.
Um...
That's... It's pickle juice.
I thought it was formaldehyde.
Common misconception, Phoebe.
Um, yeah, they, they phased out the forda-del-dulcimide.
- It's actually all organic now. - Guys!
Please, just help me work this out.
But how are we supposed to focus with only a few mouthfuls of rice in our bellies?
I'm so hungry. At least when we were cramming for school, like, we had, like,
energy drinks and, like, finger buns.
- Let's talk about finger buns. - Burger Rings.
- Vegemite scrolls. - Vegemite scrolls.
- Icy poles, the long ones. - Yes.
- Hello! - Okay, okay. I get it. I get it.
I will find us some food.
Just, please...
get to work?
Yes, queens.
You boss bitches go.
All right. Now, this is the standard. Everybody, I want you to look at, um...
At her hole.
Sarah K., come on, I know you got more in you than that.
Nice work, ladies.
This bitch gonna actually dig or just hold a shovel and say positive shit?
Damn, why does she look so good?
I couldn't find anything in the boarders' wardrobes that fit.
Sandy!
I don't think we're gonna have this cracked by tonight.
We're all pretty rusty on the book learning front,
and we're just too hungry to focus.
Okay, take your time.
But just know, you and your team won't be eating till you generate electricity.
What?
Saskia, that's no way to motivate people, through...
threats and ultimatums?
Well, Amelia, this is how I lead.
And, if I recall correctly, you were the one who so badly
wanted me back in this position.
"Don't overthink it," you said. "We just need a bitch."
So here I am.
Run things how you want,
but I won't threaten my team with starvation.
Amelia, wait.
I see you taking little pills.
Now, I have no idea what fucked you up so badly,
but this school fucked me up in ways that I don't think you could possibly imagine.
And I'll never forgive you for asking me to return to the person
I worked very hard to leave behind.
- Saskia, it doesn't... - Fucking dig, Sarah K!
Move your fat ass!
The deadline stands.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck, fuck fuck!
Mmm...
Motherfucker.
Don't look at me like that.
Didn't know what I was doing.
Sandy!
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No!
I'll have a strawberry milk and a meat pie, please.
Seriously.
Just give us a shred, a nibble, anything to help us focus.
Please don't ask me, okay? I can't give you anything.
- Saskia's orders. - Come on, Teresa.
She's given us an impossible task.
No, you don't understand, okay?
Saskia said if you came to demand food, the entire class, not just the nerds,
would go without rations until electricity was created.
That fucking bitch.
Yeah, so...
You were never here. We never had this conversation.
Yeah.
Amelia.
I have been curious about that secret stash
of junk food we used to keep in the boarding school manhole.
According to my little cousin, the tradition still stands.
Oh, shit!
Oh!
Uh...
Need some help up there?
No, I'm good. I, uh...
I'm doing fine.
Yeah. Totally fine.
Amelia, do you think maybe we should just talk about this?
Because the last time I saw you, you just ditched me at lunch for Danny.
No. No, I'm good. Yeah.
So, um...
Yeah, you can go.
Cool.
Cool, cool, cool.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck, shit.
Dear God, I know I haven't prayed since the last election,
and you didn't really come through anyway,
but, please, help me take a shit at school.
I beg of you.
Oh! Thank you, God.
Thank you.
Amen!
Uh...
No. It's got to be deeper.
At least one and a half Tegans.
I'm fucking Megan.
Zoe. Hey, Zoe. Uh...
I'm happy to be a gronk, but I think I could be more useful to the nerds.
You know, given that I work...
Yeah, I can't talk right now, Forgettable Laura.
- Yeah. - Hey, what's going on?
Um, so the PR strategy has been planted, if you will.
But while I was out there, I found some communication of the very real variety.
Okay. Enough of the corporate babble. What are you trying to say?
I found a broken fucking oar, Saskia.
And if the oar couldn't survive, how could Sandy?
- We fucking killed her. - Don't you mean you killed her?
Stop with your gaslighting bullshit, okay? We both know what we both did.
Come on, you know you're dispensable, right?
Or at least that much was clear when you nearly fell in the fucking sinkhole
and no one tried to save you.
Do you not feel bad about Sandy at all?
You've got no idea.
Great work, ladies!
Pop her in the next one and let's get it going.
Disappear that oar or take the hit alone
because this class will not survive without me leading it.
Finish Sandy's story and start telling anyone who asks
that, no, you can't help them.
Got it?
Hey, Zoe, about the job allocation...
Get the fuck back to work, Forgettable Laura.
Okay.
- That is a fiery pickle juice.
- What the hell are you doing? - Flame-grilled rat.
It'll be finger-licking good.
Don't eat that.
Oh, shit!
No. No, no, not the brows.
No, no, no, no, don't cry. Don't cry. Please don't cry.
Save it for emotional release hour.
Okay. Just like hiding a book in a library, Zo-Zo.
Oars belong on boats.
Nothing weird about this.
Hi.
I... Oh, God, for God's sake. Um...
I do need your help.
Saskia is starving out the nerds, and it's really dangerous, so, um...
Can you... Can you ask her to let up, please?
Uh...
I'm...
I'm sorry, I can't.
Why?
Because...
- I just can't. - Because Saskia said so.
Fucking hell.
Did you seriously just punch me in the tit?
Yeah. I did. All right, Zoe? Because all you do is look out for you,
all right? You're fucking selfish.
- You always have been. - Selfish?
I'm building you a fucking boat. How am I selfish?
I never asked for a boat.
No, of course you didn't.
You never ask for anything, do you? You just fucking martyr yourself.
I take responsibility for myself, okay?
I don't hide behind other people.
Oh, my God.
So I was friends with Saskia. Get over it.
You were fucking glued to Danny.
Like, sorry that I decided to go and make other friends,
so I didn't have to third-wheel it with you and your horndog gardener.
Zoe, we weren't even hanging out when I left.
You were so done with me by that point...
Oh, my God. Bullshit. Bullshit.
I would get home every single day from school,
and I would fucking star-69 to see if you'd called, and you never had.
I tried, Amelia, okay?
And at some point you're going to have to stop blaming me
for whatever happened to us.
There is no us, Zoe.
There is no us. People drift apart. People outgrow each other.
We don't have to hold each other hostage over "best friends forever" bracelets.
Yeah, no, for sure, 'cause you're not holding onto anything, are you?
No, of course not. Because otherwise you would just
fucking come out and say it, that Danny knocked you up.
Is that it? Or your parents went broke
and they had to pull you out of school, or what?
What? You got expelled for plagiarism or for fucking a staff member?
I mean, what the fuck was it?
Okay, fine. Well, listen, until you can swallow your fucking pride
and tell me what it is that I apparently did wrong ten fucking years ago,
I'm just going to have to assume that it's totally unimportant.
In fact, knowing you, it's probably petty as fuck.
Fuck this.
Let's just stay the hell away from each other, okay?
- Yeah. Fine. - And get out from under Saskia,
for all of our sakes.
Fucking hell.
Would you like a super arch, or maybe something a little bit more standard?
I spent a lot of money on these brows, so if you could just keep pretty much
to their natural shape, that would be good.
Duly noted.
Where's Tegan?
I don't know. She just said she hadn't been this long
without Megan before, and then she just bailed.
Friendship's weird, I know.
So, what do you got?
KFC? Oh, sushi?
Halal snack pack, maybe?
Pretty sure she doesn't have anything.
Can you put this down?
- I'm hungry. - I know. So am I.
I want that rat.
Fried rat.
- Amelia?
Um, you okay?
I'm sorry, guys. I just...
Saskia's given us an ultimatum,
and we're not gonna eat until we create electricity.
I didn't want to pressure you with fucked-up threats, but...
I've looked high and low, and there's no food anywhere.
Okay, um...
- Okay. - I'll start here.
Yeah, we got this. Don't worry about it.
Remember I said, power equals I squared R, so... Okay.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Ooh!
Let there be light.
Let's hear it for the Innovation and Research team.
You guys!
I knew you could do it. Told you.
And also for our gronks.
I mean, Infrastructure team.
We have managed to assemble a shit-ton of shit boxes.
So there's no excuse for bush poos any more.
Come on, ladies. We fucking built electricity today.
We are better than bush poos, aren't we?
This is disgusting.
Guys, we've got a fucking stigmata situation.
Yeah. We were down by the water's edge,
- looking for mushrooms so that... - For food.
- Obviously. - Obviously.
But, no, we stumbled across Mother Maz dawg here with a note for us.
This place is haunted as fuck.
Like, we're pretty sure we also saw Sister Bicky's ghost
doing calisthenics on the oval.
Yeah, because we definitely did not find mushrooms.
Uh, show me that.
"Dear bitches."
That's rude.
"Please don't be mad. I've left.
I realised I couldn't live without Constable.
And once I found my D'Amiré, I knew I had to bail on this dump
to try getting back to the US.
I've taken a rowboat.
Soz if you needed it, but I needed it more. Sandy."
Wow.
Well, I guess we can stop looking.
Sandy is gone.
Oh, no, anyone but Sandy.
Zoe, would you like to add anything as SRC rep?
Uh...
Yeah. Just...
that, um...
I think I speak for all of us
when I say, "To Sandy."
Safe voyage home, Sandy.
To Sandy.
And to Sister Bicky, who said that this group would never amount to anything.
So, with the utmost disrespect, I say, go fuck yourself, Bicky!
- Fuck you, you fucking bitch!
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
- ♪ Ridge Heights ladies standing proud ♪ - Oh, no.
♪ We make such a clever crowd ♪
♪ Conscientious and polite ♪
What was it that you wanted to say to me earlier, Forgettable Laura?
Oh.
- You know, only that I work as... - Actually, one second.
An electrical engineer.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
You said it yourself, Sas.
Sandy would never go anywhere without her bag.