Hello?
Where is everyone?
Hello?
Hey, tea bag.
Welcome to the worst hangover of your life, baby girl.
Sandy, please.
You've been nonstop for hours now.
Look who I found.
First to pass out at the sleepover, as per usual.
What the hell are you all doing?
I just saw a real life seal in the netball courts.
Oh, that's Seal, the seal.
- Huh? - Like the singer.
I need to call my husband. I need to go back home to Brisbane.
Oh, my God, this is happening in Brisbane, too.
Why are you all not panicking?
We panicked at 4:00 a.m. You just missed it.
We're sorry, okay?
We'll never leave you out of the panicking ever again.
- Okay. - All right? Okay.
Nobody really knows what's happening right now.
The power's out and there's no phone signal.
So why don't you grab a pancake, take a deep breath
and come and sit down and we'll make a plan, yeah?
Well, some of us knew what was happening.
There was a small miscommunication.
There are no pancakes left.
I don't know how any of you can eat at a time like this.
Oh, um, well, Teresa, why don't you and Zoe
share some of Sandy's pancake since she's not eating it?
No!
Teresa, it is bad enough you stole my Oakleys in grade 12.
Now you want my pancake, too, huh?
What kind of best friend would do that, Teresa?
Sorry, Sandy, but since when were we best friends?
Saskia was my best friend.
No, Zoe was Saskia's best friend.
No, Amelia was Zoe's best friend.
No, it was Amelia, and then she ditched her for Saskia.
And we were best friends, Teresa.
Whatever, please, just give me this pancake.
You want it? Oh, you...
Go get it!
Right, ladies, what's our plan?
Because as former school captain...
- Caretaker. - Yes, okay, whatever.
I'm happy to lead this emergency response.
Yeah, Sas?
What's the plan?
Hmm?
Oh, um...
I don't think we need to, you know, nominate a leader or anything.
We just chip in, share.
Um, but it might be helpful to just have one person across...
I will search for a signal.
And maybe the old rowing team can take a boat and see what's out there.
- Yeah. - So, me and you.
Amelia, right?
And I will look for some first aid kits and, oh, some second aid kits.
Yeah, and, um, I am gonna...
Find another bird to shit in your mouth?
Trip and fall into a sinkhole?
Or just fuck off and die.
Zoe, you can wash up
as penance. And I'll do a stockpile of the food.
But in the meantime, nobody eat anything or use any water.
We don't know how long we'll be here for.
An honour code.
A sisterly agreement that no one eats until we all eat.
- Okay? Great.
And what better way to lift our spirits than with a little school spirit?
Oh, no, don't.
♪ Ridge Heights ladies staying calm ♪
♪ We make such a better crowd ♪
♪ Better... ♪
- Mels, can I talk to you for a sec?
Nah, I'm good.
Sorry to disappoint you.
Good, girls, good.
Stay focused. Eyes forward.
In time.
Come on, girls. In time, come on.
Okay. Stop rowing. Stop!
Do you want to be on a state championship winning team, Amelia?
Come on, I asked you a question, you redneck.
Do you want to be on this team or not?
Not really, no.
Then get out of my boat.
You heard me. Get out of the boat.
Go! Get out of the fucking boat, Amelia.
Maybe pick up the pace a little, Collins.
Maybe go fuck yourself, Saskia.
What?
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Easy.
Amelia, what are you doing?
Stop! Amelia.
Okay, ladies, let's find my bag!
It has to be here somewhere.
Nobody rests until it is found.
Oi, Sandy, is this it?
Are you kidding me?
I can smell that pleather knock-off from here.
Offence taken, Forgettable Laura.
Where did you get those?
Aren't we meant to be waiting to eat together?
Yes, we are.
I didn't get a pancake this morning, and I somehow still haven't found my bag.
It's a D'Amiré, Pepé. A limited edition D'Amiré.
It is a total waste of womanpower to look for a bag, Sandy.
We need candles and torches.
Something we can trap the ibises with if we get really desperate for food.
Hey!
I was mid wish chip.
This is life and death, Sandy.
- What don't you understand about it? - Is it?
Well, maybe we can make it life and death, Pepé.
- Come on! - Get away from me!
Wait. Is everyone doing something?
Maybe we just need to look like we're doing something to
honor the sisterly agreement.
- Mmm. - Mmm.
Yeah.
- No. - We're going to need a clipboard.
- Mmm. - Yes.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Fuck this.
Oh, God, what am I doing?
Amelia, uh, how can I, uh... How can I help you?
- Oh!
They're working, yes. They're definitely working.
I forgot I left them on to check.
Anyway, what's up?
You talk now, please.
Do you think you could get me some Prolexoft?
Uh, Prolexoft. That... Yes. um...
Oh, yeah, of course. Prolexoft.
Great.
Figure in a school of 800 girls,
it can't be that hard to track down some anti-depressants, right?
Yeah.
Bitches be crazy.
Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I didn't...
Are you okay?
Yeah.
I am now.
- Wait, did something happen? - Oh.
- We hear something about a rescue? - No, no. It's just, um...
- We are safest up here. - Yeah.
Um...
Can we keep the Prolexoft thing between us?
Yeah. Doctor-patient congeniality.
- Yeah, it's... - Yeah.
Prolexoft, got it.
Did you throw a brick through the radio club window?
Maybe.
Why are you all wet? What's with the toothbrush?
Can you make the radio work? Do you still know how to use it?
Yeah, but not without power.
Good. Let's go get some.
Bit busy getting us saved here, actually.
Scorching a big-ass "help" sign into the grass.
Any minute now, the letters are going to show up,
and then the Westpac rescue chopper is going to see that shit.
And, bam, we will be out of here. You're welcome.
No, they won't.
And why is that, smarty pants?
Because that's not herbicide.
That's petrol.
Strike two, Zoe.
Wait! What was strike one?
Yep.
Got it.
Oi, wait up.
Fuck!
You all right, Mels? I'm on a deadline here.
Oh! She's on a deadline. You're on a deadline?
- Yes. - This is life and death shit, Phoebe.
Okay? We are going to be here for a long time,
and this fucking deadline is the difference
between whether or not we eat in a month.
Do you have any idea how unstable the market is right now?
There is no market.
There's no trading floor, there's no ones, there's no zeros.
We are stranded indefinitely.
The currency is now, is now food and water and batteries and tampons.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
You're being very melodramatic, okay?
And you are going to feel like a bit of a fuckwit
when we get out of here tomorrow.
Now excuse me while I find a signal.
Fucking deadlines and handbags.
- Zoe, just stop. - Sorry.
I've been meaning to say, um, I like your hair like that.
Just trying to make conversation.
Yeah, because when it matters, we don't hear a peep out of you,
but by the time you do, you're all in.
You know he's gonna be okay, right?
You don't get to talk about Danny, okay?
Or my sad little peanut farm or any of the other
unremarkable things about me that don't live up to your expectations, okay?
You've no idea about my life.
I may have added a few little attention grabbing flourishes.
You drew a dick and balls, didn't you?
Dick and balls, so reductive.
Feminist flourishes.
Feminism won't power the generator, Zoe.
Lift with your knees.
No.
It's too professional. No.
Clipboard like that invites too many questions.
Yeah, you're right. This bitch is too competent.
Like she's into mentoring.
She wants to know where you see yourself in five years.
We don't want to see her at all.
Bye, bitch.
Oh! Slay, yes.
Black. Simple.
It says, "I'm in business,
but not enough for you to ask me any detailed questions about it."
Bitch, come here.
We're gonna be okay, Tegan. We're gonna be okay.
All right.
- Oh, we got a signal. - Can we see any other signals?
No, it's too rudimentary for that, but
no harm in putting out a little call.
You're listening to Zo-Zo FM where the secret word of the day is Pocko.
For all of our international listeners,
that's what this Aussie broadcaster is nicknaming the apocalypse.
Call in with your funniest stories of surviving the Pocko on 9-7...
No, but seriously, mayd...
- ...ay.
- Strike three? - Yeah.
Yep.
Please, please, Sandy, stop.
Sandy, stop eating.
Our survival depends on it.
Fuck survival, Pepé. We're better off dying.
You want to rot away in here fighting over pancake crumbs? Give me that mini pizza.
Sandy, no, if not for us, at least think of the gluten.
I fucking hate lamingtons!
Tacky Australian cakes!
Sandy, no!
Oh, you wanna go too, peanut farmer? Well, come at me!
- And don't get me started on Vegemite.
I mean, what the fucking fuck, you fucking sickos?
Drop it!
Drop it.
No!
How dare you?
That was our only source of Vitamin B!
- It's a jar of salt, Pepé. - Don't.
See, Amelia? This is why we need a leader.
It's chaos without one. Don't touch me.
- Hey. - Sorry. Sorry.
I know it's stupid, but I just can't stop thinking
about my next IVF appointment in two weeks.
Aw, I don't think that's stupid, T. I think it's perfectly natural.
I know it looks bad, but we don't know what we don't know.
We just have to stay positive.
Yeah, but, Sas, we are so high up, and it is everywhere.
What if everything is...
Yeah. Okay. Hey, hey, hey.
It's okay.
Do you know what I learned from creating a startup?
How to fail.
There was a period about three years ago,
bank accounts were empty,
investors weren't calling us back.
So we sat down our staff and gave them an option.
Either ride it out or go find another job.
Teresa, no one left.
Do you know why?
Because it's not a failure until someone says it's over.
In my experience, hope only dies when you decide to fail.
Okay, um...
I've got a couple of days' worth of hormone shots left in my bag.
- I should keep taking them, right? - Definitely.
You're gonna go home, Teresa.
Isn't that right?
I reckon I still got it.
- I was just... - We were just, um...
- Allocating beds. - Yep.
Yes, it's excellent spring coil for a chastity bed of its kind.
Oh! Um, note it for 11F, please.
Wait, you're allocating rooms?
Can I bag the big prefect dorm?
Uh, no. No, no, no.
No way, Renee. 2F is mine.
Wait, Sandy, did you... shower?
Yeah. Okay, yeah. I fucking showered.
I was covered in gluten and Vegemite.
But I thought that we weren't meant to be using any water or anything.
Renee, if you were smart, which you're obviously not,
you'd shotgun a bed and hit the showers before everybody else does.
Because trust me, they will.
Oh, and FYI, ladies,
the water pressure still fucking sucks.
2F, bitches.
Know what, anything but a bunk bed. Thank you.
- You get all that? - Yep.
Dope.
Is that ice cream?
Since someone breached the sisterly agreement,
there's only frozen stuff left.
Okay, Pepé, you try looking for a limited edition tote
on an empty stomach.
Peas?
Okay, so I found a few months' worth of Prolexoft.
Among other things.
Thanks, Renee.
Um, surely we'll be well and truly out of here before you run out.
Yeah.
Oh, you don't have to worry about any of that.
Yeah, Zoe's been making sure that nobody takes
your old boarding school room from you.
She did kind of tell us. We just didn't listen.
Yeah.
I know.
Come on, Sandy.
Got enough bloody water troubles
without you adding to them, don't we, girls?
- Hey?
You didn't even wash up, Zoe.
- Lauren... - Three...
Well, plumbing's fucked.
Suck shit, Zoe.
Literally.
I needed that.
That's karma.
I knew it.
We're fucked.
And if we're destined to die in this dump,
I need everybody to back the fuck off of 2F, okay,
because there is no chance
I am sleeping in a goddamn bunk bed like a little prison bitch.
- Sandy. - Especially you, Zoe "bird shit" Miller.
Sandy, settle down.
Tegan and Megan have allocated the dorms.
Everyone's got a bed.
Don't they, Forgettable Laura?
Um...
Yeah, they just gave me the clipboard.
Said go with it.
Oh, my God. They are out there shotgunning 2F.
- Fuck this! - It's a system, actually.
- Don't you dare!
Didn't think I'd see you again.
Thanks.
It's been in eventful day.
I won't bore you with the details, but in short...
We're already out of fresh food and water.
There are dozens of us, and we might be here for months.
Well, it sounds like you're all over it.
They're not afraid of me.
I know that I hurt you, Amelia.
And...
please know that I am sorry.
But this authority that you all look to me with, it's projected and...
I never asked for any of it.
Don't overthink it.
We need a bitch.
I don't do that shit any more.
Thing is, Saskia, when you were captain, we never lost a race.
More like this.
Stronger together!
Bitch!
Please! Please! Think of the sisterly agreement.
Sandy! Would you shut up already?
Sandy, please, could you... Please, could you cry a little quieter?
I need to concentrate. Mitch usually does these injections for me.
I don't know why you're bothering.
Everything, including your precious embryos, is dead.
Sandy!
Why don't we go look for your bag?
Finally.
- Okay.
Ready?
Done.
Thank you, Saskia.
Fuck!
Why the fuck would my bag be all the way down here?
Maybe you left it here after we collected the netballs last night.
- Hey, guys, what's up?
Jesus, Zoe. Don't do that, please.
That's not my fucking bag.
It's just stupid Zoe, living out in the shed like the reject she is.
Come on, mate. You wanna help us look for a frigging handbag?
Guess so.
- Yeah, it's a good time.
It's in the sinkhole.
- I just know it.
Sandra Dee, we're going to try again tomorrow, okay?
I just want to go home.
I wish I never came.
I know. I know.
I hated this place.
Really? God, I loved it.
Never really shake it off, though, do you?
I kind of feel like I've always been last runner up.
Well, you did try to tell us, Zo-Zo.
It's just that this was unbelievable.
How long do you think you could survive out at sea on one of these things?
Maybe like two, three days. What do you reckon?
I think anything is possible until you decide to fail.
And I've never once made that decision.
- Get up. - Oh, yeah.
Good? Come on.
- Oh, j...
Oh...
Oh, can you get my shoes?
Sas?
- Sas? - Yeah.
Sas, wait. What the fuck did we just do?
We have to go back.
What are you talking about? It was your idea
to push Sandy out to sea until she calms down.
What? No. That wasn't... That's not what I...
That's what I meant. I didn't mean push her out on the boat.
I meant maybe if we don't get rescued,
we're going to have to leave on a fucking boat, you know?
- That is not what I... - Right.
So you can see how I got confused by that.
Saskia, stop!
Zoe, we will not survive if we bring her back tonight.
- Yes, we will. - She's a virus, Zo.
And if we allow her to infect the others with her hopelessness,
we will never get our shit together.
Besides the, you know, Southerly or whatever
will blow her back by morning, and the scare will probably do her good.
Now come on.
Thanks for saving my old room.
Well, get out!
Get out!
Get out! Get out! Get out!
Thank you.
Shut the door, Zo-Zo.