[ominous note]
[soft orchestral music]
♪ ♪
[birds chirping]
Wake up, gentlemen! Good morning!
Shake off that morning wood. It's another beautiful day.
OK, wake up! Open those fucking eyes.
Here we go. All right, listen up.
In about 50 minutes, we got morning meeting led by me.
That's right. We all know that.
After that, it's a banging breakfast.
We got pancakes, we got scrambled eggs,
we got French toast, Texas toast,
every fucking toast you want.
All right, listen, after that, we have 45...
- Fuck, fuck. - Minutes of free time, boys.
And after that, we got some motherfucking
group therapy, right?
[laughs] Yeah.
That's when we open ourselves up
and we change the universe, all right?
That is followed by a nonmandatory
arts and crafts session with the lovely Betty.
Betty has been making bracelets
in the greater Tarrytown area for the past 40 years.
[coughs]
Let's give a warm welcome for Betty,
and nobody ask her about her deceased husband
this time, all right?
I think it's gonna be the best day
of our lives today, boys.
Let's do it! Peace out.
- How you doing today? - OK, sir.
What drugs are you trying to get into?
- Huh? - What you want?
Some painkillers? What they got you on?
Oh, they got you on that shit, bro.
Whoa!
You going to have a good day.
I'm just-- we're just bringing some
of these upstairs because we have extra.
That's cool, man.
No, you do whatever you got to do.
Yeah, it is cool.
Mind your business.
What we do back here, don't worry about.
Don't fuck with me.
I do your meds.
I can give you meds that give you titties.
- Titties? - He'll really do it.
He's done it. Gave a guy milkers.
- Milkers? - What up, Nelson?
Fuck you!
Looking cute today, baby.
That's my guy right there.
[ominous music]
Not gonna cheek that, are you?
Huh?
You know, hide the pill in your cheek.
A lot of guys here think they're really smart.
They pretend to take their meds,
then they go up in their room, and they crush the pills,
and they snort it.
Are you a cheeker?
No, sir.
That's good.
[gulps] Ah.
I'll be keeping an eye on those cheeks regardless.
OK.
♪ ♪
Good job, boss.
All right. Let's start.
Donnie, take it away.
Hey, guys. Name's Donnie.
- Hi, Donnie. - Hey, Donnie.
And I'm here because of the fucking Giants.
We talked about this already.
You're supposed to move past that.
Well, you know, years of betting on this team,
I lost everything.
I lost my family, I lost my businesses,
but I don't give a fuck because I'm loyal.
I'm loyal. I'm staying in it.
I'm gonna be there next week. Not like my wife.
Fucking bitch.
I don't give a shit, OK? And I'll be honest with you.
I think we got a shot this year, you know?
I'm taking the points because they're going to cover, OK?
They're going to cover.
All right.
Thank you for sharing.
Joey.
Uh, hi, I'm Joey.
Hey, Joey.
I am here because I hurt and I lied
to everybody I've ever cared about,
and it was 100% the right decision
'cause it got me more cocaine.
Cocaine.
That sweet manna given to us by God in exchange
for all the ways He has wronged us.
I mean, the convulsions of bliss surfing through my body
after each bump, it's irreplaceable!
OK, enough of that.
You ever look into the eyes
of a newborn child and you know,
that's my flesh and blood?
Yeah?
Well, that is dog shit in comparison
to a half a gram of decent coke.
OK. All right, Joey.
Don't you think maybe that's enough?
Do I think it's enough? I obviously don't.
Hey, I'm Cam'Ron.
I just needed time off from my schedule,
so I told them I was addicted to nuke.
That's not even a drug.
I seen that shit in "Robocop 2."
Jadakiss.
[laughs]
Eli Manning.
Quarterback, Ole Miss.
Eli?
♪ ♪
[horn honks]
[laughs]
- Pete. - Huh?
Please, introduce yourself to the room.
Um--
[door clicks]
I am Pete--
Ha-ha, found your ass.
Gentlemen.
Hello, everybody. Hello, hello, hello.
My dude.
Are you real?
- What? - Are you real?
What the fuck are you talking about?
- Yes, I'm real. - I'm sorry.
I'm just having a fucking weird day, dude.
Yeah. Like, this party sucks.
Let's go smoke a joint.
We're in fucking rehab.
- What? - It's-it's--
it's rehab.
Ah.
OK, yeah, see,
Amy gave me the address, but she did not tell me
that this is where I was going.
Hey, guys, we're all here to get better, OK?
So who the fuck are you?
Uh, I'm Colson.
- Hi, Colson. - Hi, Colson.
Hi, Machine Gun Kelly.
He even knows who you are.
Let me just state for the group,
[clears throat] You guys might be big shots
outside those doors, but inside here,
you're nobody, OK?
Celebrity means nothing here.
In here, we're all equals.
We're all here to get better.
Yeah, listen to Michael, you guys.
This place is pretty awesome.
You just have to come in here about seven or eight times
for it to actually work.
How many times has this been for you?
Like, a soft five.
I've been here 15 times, OK?
And now the world is my fucking oyster.
[sucks teeth]
[hip-hop music]
[phone buzzing]
Hey, Amy.
Hey, Evan. Listen.
Pete is not returning any of my calls.
Yeah, well, he's in rehab, you know?
So, uh, I'm sure they, like, took his phone.
I just want to make sure he knows
about Casey's graduation, all right?
She's been working really hard. She deserves to be celebrated.
I'm tired of her feeling like she's being punished
for being the good kid, OK?
Pete should be there.
Yeah, um, I'll make sure he knows.
You know, I support everything he's doing there,
but I'd really like for Pete to be there.
So can I write him a note or something?
I mean, I promise we won't give him any drugs.
I won't even give him aspirin. He'll drink Sprite.
Yeah, I'm not really sure that's how rehab works,
but, uh, yeah, yeah.
- You do that. - All right, bye.
Bye.
♪ ♪
Follow the lady. Keep your eyes peeled.
Watch.
All right.
Ooh, the blue ones!
These are my favorite.
They make me forget my childhood.
Mm!
Hello, Donald.
- Hey. - You got a sec?
Yeah.
How you doing? Feeling at home here?
I'm going to see Betty.
Make a bracelet for my daughter.
Hey, let me ask you a question.
Quick question. It'll only take a second.
Yeah?
Are you and me gonna have a fucking problem?
What are you talking about?
- What am I talking about? - Yeah.
- Are you a cheeker? - I got to--
I got to make a bracelet.
- Come here. - Yeah?
Spit it out.
- I don't-- - Spit it the fuck out.
[sighs]
[ominous music]
I'm sorry.
You proud of yourself?
- I'm not. - All right.
Guess who's not going to movie night tonight?
Get the fuck out of here.
♪ ♪
You cheeking?
You cheeking, Pete?
♪ ♪
[clears throat]
Hey, Father, um, it's--
it's been 20 years since my last confession.
Um, I'm not really sure
if what I've done could even really be forgiven.
Do not worry, my son.
There's nothing our Father can't forgive.
There's nothing He hasn't heard.
[sighs] OK.
[clears throat] Well, um--
I, uh...
[whispering indistinctly]
It was actually pretty nice...
[gasps]
[TV static buzzing]
- I got to get out of here. - Take it easy, boy.
Listen, I'm John L Sullivan, a Hollywood director.
Somebody slugged me. I got to get out of here.
A Hollywood what? [laughter]
- [door clicks] - Take it easy, will you?
- [knock on wall] - Knock, knock.
Hey, what are you doing here?
Come to take you to your treatment.
Eh, don't worry about it.
I'm using their Russian car service.
- They let me smoke in the car. - Yeah, I know.
I'm going to take you.
And, uh, we have Casey's graduation in a few days.
- You remember, right? - Mm-hmm, I know all about it.
I'm gonna figure it out. I'll be there.
Don't worry.
And I don't need you to take me to the hospital, either.
I know I don't need to. Why should you go by yourself?
Because I don't want anybody seeing me like that.
Yeah, God forbid someone sees you in a moment of weakness.
It'll shatter the illusion.
Listen, I'm a big girl.
I want to spend as much time with my dad as I can,
so will you stop being such a jerk
and let's get out of here?
Listen, where I come from, you don't talk about it,
you don't complain about it.
It's your time to go, you just go,
so that's what it's about.
You have my permission to die.
Thank you.
I would like to spend a little bit of time
with you before that, if that is all right.
So please, can we get out of here?
Uh, Amy, Amy, Amy.
What am I gonna do with you?
Shanks.
- Shwelcome. - [chuckles]
[phone line trilling]
Forest Point?
Hi, I need to get a message to a resident.
Well, which one?
He's under the name Hank Mardukus.
Yeah, we don't have a Hank Mardukus here.
He's, uh, in the entertainment field.
Yeah, we got a lot of people
in the entertainment field here.
We got MGK just walked in, Paul Hauser,
Pete Davidson-- is it one of the white ones?
Um, yeah. It's Pete Davidson.
Can I talk to him?
Uh, yeah, no.
Why the fuck am I in here, man?
I got to stop wandering.
[somber music]
♪ ♪
Can I just take a look?
- Mm. - Peter, please.
[sighs]
I wish I understood why you do this to yourself.
It's not your fault. I'm sorry.
♪ ♪
Mom, please don't make me go.
Honey, they are gonna help you feel better, OK?
- It's gonna be so good. - I'll be good, I promise.
You got to trust me, all right?
It's gonna be great.
I love you. Come on.
♪ ♪
[knock at door]
Sup? What's going on?
We have a surprise for you.
Gentlemen?
Ta-da.
What's that for?
That's the key to the medicine cabinet.
Turn up.
Me and the Benjamins thank you.
We do cool stuff like this all the time.
Pleasure doing business with you, man.
If you need anything, just hit me.
- Cool. - All right.
We're gonna get fucked up tonight.
* 5:30 in the morning, hustle that game ♪
Flying it into you.
Oh, here you go.
I haven't had, like, a good bro down,
like--you know what it is?
There's no TV, so we actually have
to talk to each other.
We got some shit, that's right.
Oh, I don't think I did it right.
Oh, I kind of feel like doing the Jim Carrey
"Ace Ventura" where he goes up to the bench
and he's just--
[slams head]
[snickers]
Crazy.
You know what's funny about "Ace Ventura"?
That movie can't really be made now because it's, like,
offensive to trans people.
Oh! Sean Young at the end--
Yeah, dude! But he literally goes--
"He saw Mr. Winky!"
And then she shows the fucking cock,
and they're all like, oh, oh, oh!
Like, Dan Marino is like, oh, oh!
Yeah, and you know what else aged poorly?
- What? - Vietnam.
[laughs]
[sighs]
[snorts]
Got some stress in there, dude.
Oh, shit.
I just put my cigarette out on my face.
[laughter]
Good thing you have a beard, dude.
It smells like burning hair.
[laughs] Ah!
Now I'm just putting it out on my face.
[burns] There it is.
- Oh! - Now it's gone.
There it is. There it is.
It's off. It's OK.
I woke up today, and I thought about you.
It wasn't the linger of victory or a trinket
from my heart's time capsule.
You were an advertisement on the side of a bus,
driven slow enough to read the sign,
but fast enough to let my shame dance
with fertile hatred.
I'm sorry that I missed your birth.
I'm going to try not to miss your life.
And maybe if I don't miss your life,
I won't miss mine.
That's deep.
* Show me the way to go home ♪
♪ I'm tired, and I want to go to bed ♪
* I had a little drink about an hour ago ♪
♪ And it's gone right * all: * To my head ♪
♪ Wherever I may roam ♪
♪ By land or sea or foam ♪
♪ You can always hear me singing this song ♪
♪ Show me the way to go home ♪
[muffled singing]
[ominous music]
♪ ♪
♪ And it went straight to my head ♪
- Overdrive! - * Wherever I may roam ♪
♪ ♪
[muffled singing]
all: * Wherever I may roam ♪
♪ By land or sea or foam ♪
♪ You can always hear me singing this song ♪
♪ And show me the way to go home ♪
- Show me the way to go home! - Show me the way!
I'm tired and I want to go to bed!
Want to go to bed!
both: * Could always hear me singing this song ♪
♪ Show me the way to go ♪
- Oh, shit! - What the fuck?
What's going on guys?
♪ ♪
You guys having a little party, huh?
I didn't get the Evite.
Must have been in my spam folder, huh?
Really hurt my feelings,
all you guys having fun out here.
Huh?
Well, don't stop the festivities on my account.
Just keep going, huh? Let's go all night.
Let's go all fucking night.
I was actually gonna go to sleep, so, uh--
So you guys are done?
OK, do you mind if I clean up a little bit?
Oh!
♪ ♪
I want every one of you guys out of here.
- Bad. - Party's over, assholes.
Yeah.
I want everybody gone before I really get fucking angry.
- You're not really angry? - This is inappropriate.
Everybody out of here.
You are fucking fired, all three of you.
Dang. What?
You're lucky I'm not having you arrested.
Arrested? Snitch.
Sir, um, if I may--
You may. You have the floor.
You have the magic conch shell.
Explain, please.
This is actually all my fault,
and, uh, I broke in, I got the key, got the drugs.
This is because of me, so please don't blame--
Wow. Wow! That's--rappers.
So you forced these poor victims.
You put the drugs in their throat, made them swallow it.
Is that what happened?
Well--
Actually, yes.
That is what happened because I drugged them--
- Wow! - And I'm really sorry.
Real rock and roll, dude.
You drugged them to take drugs?
Uh--
I mashed them into their potatoes--
Wow.
And watched them eat it.
- Disappointing. - And I was a fan.
I used to want to go on the road with you.
I still do.
OK, here's what's going to happen.
Colson, you're going to pack your bags.
You're going to get the fuck out of here right now.
Ah, man, I really liked rehab.
I want to stay here longer.
- Hit me when you get to LA. - I got you, dog.
- OK. - Peter?
I expect a lot more from you.
I'll put this incident behind me,
and I expect you to step up.
You too, Paul Hauser.
Psst, are we still fired?
No. Clean it up.
Sick.
I'm sorry.
You got this.
You're not going to help us?
Yeah.
* Colson is gonna go home ♪
You hanging in there?
I feel like I've got an elephant on my head.
You can have a little lie down after.
I sent everybody directions for this graduation.
I just hope they know where they're going.
Stop worrying. You worry too much.
- That's my job. - Yeah.
I'd wish more for you, but I guess I wasn't
the greatest father in the world.
I don't know. You were up there.
Well, I was up there, all right.
Just wasn't around all the time.
You know, when you were a little girl,
I used to go singing in lounges every month,
and I wound up leaving your mother home alone
with you and your sisters.
I think about it when I get old.
It was a little selfish, I guess, you know?
You were doing what made you happy.
That made us happy.
Did it really make you happy?
It really did.
You know, I wish the same for you, really.
Make yourself happy. Enjoy your life.
Don't worry about everybody else so much.
You know, I started playing basketball again.
- Get out of here. - Yeah.
- I'm still pretty good. - Really?
- Yeah. - I can't believe it.
- Believe it. - Oh, my God.
That's what I'm talking about. See?
That's nice. That's good.
Oh, good for you.
- Oh, Pop. - That's my girl.
What about the kid?
You think the kid's gonna be all right?
Yeah.
Because I am your daughter,
and I am the strongest woman you know.
[somber piano music]
♪ ♪
Hey.
Look like you could use a friend.
Could use more than a friend.
- What's peeling your dick? - What?
What's, uh, fucking chappin' your ass?
I don't know. What's going on?
[clears throat]
I don't know, I'm just--
fucking embarrassed.
I'm embarrassed.
I'm, uh, just kind of ashamed.
I, um--I don't know.
Just--
I'm always confused why, uh, nothing really
works out for me, you know?
It's my fucking fault.
It's--I always think the world's out to get me,
but it's-it's me, you know?
I, uh, act like a fucking cunt,
and so many people
have seen me in a really bad way,
and that's, like, hard to live with, you know?
It's getting fucking really old, you know I mean?
I'm literally everything I--
I hate.
I'm like what, if I wasn't me,
me and my boys would be making fun of me.
You know?
Like, we'd be like, look at that fucking tool.
And, um, I just--
I feel like I'm running out of options.
I've been doing this for a long time,
and what I hear is that you're ready.
Follow me into the woods.
Come on. What are you afraid of?
Think I'm gonna fuck you in the woods?
All right.
Just want you to picture in your head everything
that hurts you, everything that you hate,
everything that keeps you up at 6:00 a.m.
Don't tell me what it is.
Just picture it in your head, OK?
Here's the important part.
Scream.
Dude, you're not gonna fucking "Honey Boy" me, OK?
You think you can just take me
in the woods and fix everything--
[screams]
Wow, shit.
- Now you do it. - Huh?
You do it.
Agh! [clears throat]
The fuck was that?
OK, now do it for real.
Scream.
Like a man in the fucking woods, scream.
[screams]
Yeah, come on.
[screams]
- That was real good. - That felt fucking good.
- Look at me. - Yeah?
Now, what matters?
- What? - Look!
- What matters? - What are you talking--
- What matters? - I don't know.
What the fuck are you talking about?
- What fucking matters? - I don't fucking know.
- What matters! - I don't know!
Here, here.
- What? - Find it.
Find it, or you're going to die.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
I get it. I fucking get it.
- Good. - I get it.
Holy shit. Thank you.
You're a fucking wizard. You fixed me.
[grunts] You fixed me.
Fixed me.
I didn't fix you. We just started.
- I got somewhere I got to be. - Wait, wait.
- We're not done. - You fixed me, buddy.
- Wait, we just started. - Farthest point, baby, yeah!
You've been here four fucking days.
- Fuck! - Come on back.
We're just getting warmed up.
I'm cured!
You're still a drug addict.
♪ ♪
Pete Davidson?
What the fuck are you doing up here, man?
No! No, no, no, no.
Not again. I am not doing this again.
You stay the fuck away from me, Ray Romano.
What are you doing? I'm up here fishing.
- What's going on? - Fishing for what?
Poon? Fuck you, dude!
Hey, Pete!
I'm a fan, man!
Fuck.
♪ ♪
That was Pete Davidson.
♪ ♪
[phone chiming]
[Kid Cudi's "Solo Dolo (Nightmare)"]
Casey's graduation is tomorrow.
[phone beeps] Casey's graduation--
[phone beeps]
You don't have to come to my graduation.
What you're doing is really important.
You don't have to worry about me.
I'll always be OK.
I'm proud of you. [phone beeps]
* Listen good ♪
♪ I don't have nobody ♪
♪ But what I might feel are the sounds of sanity ♪
♪ Hoping what I hear loops itself continuously ♪
♪ Then I won't be afraid, no, no ♪
♪ Oh, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Why must it feel so wrong ♪
♪ When I try and do right ♪
♪ Do right ♪
♪ Oh, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Soaring through paradise when I'm closing my eyes ♪
[car honks]
[tires screeching]
♪ When I try and do right? ♪
♪ Do right ♪
♪ Oh, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Soaring through paradise ♪
♪ When I'm closing my eyes ♪
[coughs]
* I'm Mr. Solo Dolo ♪
Ouch!
* Oh, oh, oh ♪
[laughs]
Fuck.
* Oh, my world turns ♪
♪ Flipping the bird ♪
♪ To the ones who figure ♪
♪ Me outcast, no, not the duo ♪
♪ Back in Shaker Heights where they knew who ♪
♪ Dos little brother was a strange one, boo-hoo ♪
♪ Cry me a river, hater, look who ♪
♪ Traveled out an igloo ♪
♪ Cold, cold world wasn't fit for me at all ♪
♪ Look at where I stand at, tall ♪
♪ Clutchin' my Kid Cudi bizzalls ♪
♪ Mute [...] back home, quick pause ♪
♪ Gargle on my mayo ♪
♪ Look at me, I bet I'm the one you think to fail ♪
♪ Floating in my mind, no sail ♪
♪ Ahoy ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Ahoy ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Listen good ♪
♪ I don't need nobody ♪
♪ This is what you feel are the... ♪