1 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,731 [dramatic tone] 2 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:26,276 You know, um, I'm ready to be a dad. 3 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:30,447 I've been thinking about it, and I think it's finally time. 4 00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:32,449 It's all I've ever wanted since I was little. 5 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,784 And I can't keep waiting to meet the right girl, you know? 6 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,536 I gotta take action. I gotta take charge. 7 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,663 I gotta do this myself 'cause it's for me, right? 8 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:41,541 So I just... 9 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,209 think I'm ready to have a little Petey. 10 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,502 What do you think? 11 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,087 You're getting very good at this. 12 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:50,508 I almost believed 13 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,844 that you believed the line of shit you were giving me. 14 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,180 Is it that crazy that I want to be a dad? 15 00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,639 - Yeah, Peter. - Why? 16 00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:59,434 Because every guy who has a family, 17 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,394 he's fuckin' fantasizing about having your life. 18 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,812 - That's why we hate you. - We? 19 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,272 You know I love you, but if I could, 20 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,565 I'd kill you and wear your skin 21 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,859 just so I could bang supermodels. 22 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,528 I just--I just wanna be there for a child. 23 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,405 - I wanna have a child. - Okay, take mine. 24 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,698 And she'll do it for the checkmark. 25 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,825 I don't want Angela. I want my own fresh one. 26 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,327 - I wanna dress it all swaggy. - All right. All right. 27 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,578 Okay, listen to me, can we please talk about this 28 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:19,788 when you're not being a drug addict? 29 00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:22,749 User, Uncle Tom. I'm a drug user, okay? 30 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:23,917 And maybe if I had a kid, 31 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,251 hey, maybe I wouldn't use drugs so much. 32 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,087 Maybe it'll teach me to channel my inner chaos 33 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:28,254 and give my life meaning or some shit. 34 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,673 - I don't know. - Bro, what the fuck 35 00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:31,675 are you talking about? Look at me. I'm a dad. 36 00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:34,594 Do I look like my life has meaning? 37 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,346 Pete, you're not ready, okay? 38 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,932 You can't just go and have a family, okay? 39 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,517 That means no more partying, no more drugs, 40 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:42,268 no more drinking, no more friends. 41 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,312 You can't have friends. 42 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,064 Have you ever seen me with a friend? 43 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:50,735 No jets to Turks and Belize or whatever the fuck. 44 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,862 Look, I know you dream about killing yourself. 45 00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:54,406 That's out the window. 46 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,949 I don't know what else to do, Uncle Tommy, okay? 47 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,325 I've done everything. 48 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,410 I'm fuckin' running out of options, all right? 49 00:01:58,451 --> 00:01:59,744 And I talked to my-- [hammer clanging] 50 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,162 I talked to my therapist, and my therapist thinks 51 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,288 that it's a good idea. 52 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,957 - It may be healthy for me. - Oh, yeah? 53 00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:05,834 - You know, yeah. - Well, your therapist needs, 54 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,253 like, a fucking kick in the balls, okay? 55 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,964 Nobody ever had their life become better 56 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,048 because they had kids. 57 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,800 Fuck. 58 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,135 Fuck. 59 00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,137 Is that crooked? 60 00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:18,596 Yeah, a little. Yeah, yeah. 61 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,849 Ah, fuck. That's two weeks of my life. 62 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,267 Here. Take it. 63 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:23,518 Just be careful with it. The handle's sharp. 64 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,853 Oh, both are sharp. 65 00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:26,146 - Hey. - Yeah? 66 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:28,690 Never forget. 67 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,400 1992. 68 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:32,485 - Sexiest Man on Staten Island. - That's right. 69 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,530 Paul Montello and Kyle Hennesy. 70 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,574 - Never forget. - Never forget. 71 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,534 This guy doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. 72 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:42,495 Having a baby would solve all of your problems. 73 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:43,913 Did you tell him about how it would, 74 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,623 like, channel your chaos? 75 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,083 It would give your life meaning? 76 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,335 Yeah, I told him exactly that. 77 00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:50,337 I don't think he knows what he's talking about. 78 00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,047 So do you know who you'd like to have it with? 79 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:53,381 Is there somebody special? 80 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,632 Well, I think I'm just gonna have it myself, 81 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,509 but Nikki said she'd, you know, 82 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,595 - sell me one of her eggs, so... - Sell? 83 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,347 Yeah, well, you know, she went to Harvard, so it's-- 84 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:02,807 it's like a-- it's an elite egg. 85 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,225 I don't know, if you're gonna buy the eggs, 86 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,853 you might as well go big. 87 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,563 Kelly Clarkson. Oh, my God. 88 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,691 That baby would be so talented! Can you imagine? 89 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,694 She's sing and, you know, do other things. 90 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:15,820 Yeah, I don't think we need to worry 91 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:16,946 about the egg right now. 92 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,449 I think we gotta find a-- a load holder. 93 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,784 It's called a surrogate, honey. 94 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,577 Yes, and I can take care of that for you very easy. 95 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,163 - You're the surrogate, yeah. - [squeals] 96 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,707 Oh, Peter, we're having a baby. 97 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,542 - We're having a baby. - Mm-hmm. 98 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:32,087 - I'm so excited. - Yeah. 99 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,089 * Ain't nothin' like hip-hop music ♪ 100 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,091 ♪ You like it 'cause you choose it ♪ 101 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,510 So, like, would I be able to tell her eventually? 102 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,053 Like, before the end of my life? 103 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,138 {\an8}Like, we just wait until the most dramatic moment possible, 104 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,431 {\an8}like I'm on my deathbed. 105 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,141 {\an8}And I just, like, grab her face, 106 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:47,686 {\an8}and I'm like, "I'm your mom." 107 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:50,522 {\an8}[imitates flatlining] So dramatic. 108 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,607 {\an8}No, it wouldn't be a secret. You could tell her. 109 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,193 {\an8}Okay, so I'd be, like, the semi-present fun dad? 110 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,569 {\an8}I always wanted to be the fun dad. 111 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,154 - Yeah. - Though it might not be 112 00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,322 the best time to have a baby. 113 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,574 I'm kind of a caregiver already right now 114 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,827 because my brother has that really intense fetish 115 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,286 for deadbeat moms. 116 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,705 He can't fuckin' help himself, huh? 117 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,915 No, and this kid's mom is on this, like, 118 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,584 "spiritual journey" right now, which is just a fancy way 119 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,962 of saying she's in Costa Rica doing ayahuasca, 120 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,588 shitting her brains out into a bucket. 121 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:18,049 - So sad. - It's actually so tragic. 122 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,759 People don't know you can do ayahuasca in Queens. 123 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,428 Come on, this is about the kid. 124 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:22,971 - She's eight years old. - Eight? 125 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,681 Which means she gets why it's so fucked up, 126 00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,684 but she also just, like, really needs a mom, you know? 127 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,604 Well, then let's-- let's, um... 128 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,857 Let's do something fun for her. Uh, I don't know. 129 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:36,067 Could we take her to, like, an amusement park or some shit? 130 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,444 She would love that so much. 131 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,030 Okay, cool. Let's do it. 132 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,532 Wow, Pete, you're being, like, parental right now. 133 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:43,700 It's kind of hot. 134 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,497 You wanna just fuck here and save me 80 grand? 135 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,624 Oh, for sure. No, we should totally do that. 136 00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,126 Like, should we go to the bathroom right now? 137 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,003 You're a dick. 138 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,922 You want me to have my brother's baby? 139 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,133 No, honey. It's--it's not your egg. 140 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,719 You would just carry it, so there's no incest. 141 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:04,804 You think I should just give over my body for nine months 142 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,973 like a brood mare just to help Pete ruin two lives? 143 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,517 I think having a baby would really focus him. 144 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,770 Okay, it's a baby, not a fidget spinner. 145 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,814 Look, I feel like our family has been coming apart, right? 146 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,817 And a baby is a great way to keep a family together. 147 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,070 I don't even know what to say. 148 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,488 You've caught Pete's insanity. 149 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:22,989 Please. Don't be so dramatic. 150 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,325 It's one baby. 151 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,826 Unless it's two. 152 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,162 Oh, my God, twins. I'm gonna pass out. 153 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,539 [laughs] That's too exciting. 154 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,709 - [phone ringing] - Hey, Poppy. 155 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,670 Peter, I'm in the studio with Roy. 156 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,588 He's making a calendar for Borgie for me. 157 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,757 Hey, Peter. Borgie, Borgie, Borgie. 158 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,008 - Get me the cowboy hat. - Now he's gonna be a cowboy. 159 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,385 - Fucking hilarious. - Hilarious. 160 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,844 I gotta go. You guys are nuts. 161 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,388 - What else is he gonna be? - Look at the hat! 162 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,139 Here he comes. 163 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,642 Are you excited? 164 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,855 [coughing] 165 00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,317 - Hi. - Yo, what's up, my little G? 166 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,568 - You brought the crew. - Yeah. 167 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,986 Well, you know, it takes a village. 168 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,197 I'm being fun dad. We can both be fun dads. 169 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,365 Okay. 170 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:07,409 Um, well, Anna, this is Pete. 171 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,035 - Hi. I'm Pete. - Hi, Pete. 172 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,663 Pete was able to get us front-of-the-line passes today. 173 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,456 You have very big teeth. 174 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:14,749 Get in the car. 175 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,710 Ah. 176 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,962 Not what I had in mind. What the fuck? 177 00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,256 What? I'm trying to have fun. 178 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,467 - Hey, Nikki. [laughs] - Sick outfit. 179 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,677 You know you can't smoke in here, right, 180 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:26,886 'cause we're with child? 181 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,346 We goin' to Action Land sober? 182 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,556 What is this, a church retreat? 183 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,182 I'm on pills, my G. 184 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,518 Uh, is it okay if Crillz plays his music? 185 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,728 Oh, yeah, she can't hear shit 186 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:35,979 in these noise-cancelling headphones. 187 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,106 All right. [hip-hop music playing] 188 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,691 Let's go! 189 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,651 I have the perfect person to play opposite you 190 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:42,902 as the ten-gallon hat man. 191 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,655 What you think about Ethan Hawke? 192 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:49,242 ♪ ♪ 193 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,577 This is gonna be fun, man. 194 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,162 This is, like, my first time 195 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,747 I get to, like, practice being a dad. 196 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,123 - It's pretty cool, right? - Yeah. 197 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,958 - [laughs] - What? 198 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,335 Oh, you were serious about that? 199 00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,627 Yeah. 200 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,005 Okay. 201 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:03,882 * Makin' moves ♪ 202 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:04,966 * I know it hurts ♪ 203 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,807 [upbeat music] 204 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:18,146 ♪ ♪ 205 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,814 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 206 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:22,233 What the fuck is he doing here? 207 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,235 - Pete. - Gill. 208 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,696 - What's up, dude? - What up, man? 209 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,031 Hey, thank you. 210 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,199 Thanks for giving me another chance. 211 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,200 Don't worry about it, man. 212 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,326 Now, just so you know, 213 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,535 things are a little different now. 214 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,661 You're on probation. 215 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,288 That's fine. That makes perfect sense. 216 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,040 - Thank you. - Hey, come on. 217 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,708 Put your phone in the bag. 218 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,418 - What? - You heard him. 219 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,253 Put the phone in the Yondr bag. 220 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,381 - Come on, guys. - What you need your phone for? 221 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,757 I knew you guys were gonna be dickheads. 222 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,384 None of your friends here. Your family hates you. 223 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,302 - You right here. - I hate you guys. 224 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,929 - I've always hated you two. - Feeling's mutual. 225 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,097 You know what? I'm done. 226 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,641 This nigga's dizzy. I'm out of here. 227 00:07:54,683 --> 00:08:01,064 ♪ ♪ 228 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:05,068 All right, Anna, what ride do you wanna go on first? 229 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,403 You can do anything you want. 230 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,780 We're doing everything you want today. 231 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,532 Uh, whatever you guys want. 232 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:13,743 - Thanks again for taking me. - Whatever. 233 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,620 Okay, well... 234 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:19,124 Hey, how about the Fireball? 235 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,252 - That one's pretty wild. - Ooh. 236 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,254 That one sounds scary. 237 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,297 How about the Whippersnapper to get the party started? 238 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,508 - Whippersnapper? - I don't know. 239 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:32,178 My G, some people think the Whippersnapper's kinda gay, 240 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,098 but it's actually one of the best rides in the park. 241 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,768 Crill. 242 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:39,853 Anna. [clears throat] 243 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,772 When Crilly says that something is gay, 244 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:45,066 he doesn't mean it in, like, a homophobic way. 245 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:48,028 He just means that it's, like, the worst thing in the world. 246 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,196 Exactly. 247 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,656 - What? - Guys. 248 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,199 - What? - Let's just--let's move on. 249 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,284 That's how he meant it. 250 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,785 Jesus, Pete. Nice parenting. 251 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,454 Pete, it's awesome to see you with this kid, man. 252 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,247 You're gonna be a great father someday. 253 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,291 I bet your dead daddy's looking down on us right now, 254 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,876 proud as hell of you. I love it. 255 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,627 - Thanks, man. - No problem. 256 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,296 We better go catch up. 257 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,381 Layin' the cheese pretty thick, don't you think? 258 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,800 - You little rat. - Fuck you, dude. 259 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,677 [upbeat swing music] 260 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,556 * Just walking in the sunshine ♪ 261 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,975 ♪ With my buddy, little buddy ♪ 262 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,061 Hello. Could I please get two regulars? 263 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,520 - Sure. - Thanks. 264 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,648 [phone chimes] 265 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:28,818 Peter, we got the dog dressed as Sherlock Holmes. 266 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,363 He's got the magnifying glass in his paw 267 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,115 like he's about to solve a mystery. 268 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,867 Who's gonna catch the murderer? 269 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,786 Fuckin' hilarious! 270 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,505 Hey. 271 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,756 What are you doin' with the leaves? 272 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:50,715 How's it going? 273 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,679 [sighs] 274 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,474 Hey, look, I know, um... 275 00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:03,269 I know you might not be seeing your mom for a little bit, uh, 276 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,896 and that it must be really sad. 277 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,732 And I can tell you, I kind of know what that's like. 278 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,360 And just so you know, it's gonna be all right. 279 00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,862 I mean, you know, look how I turned out, right? 280 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,699 No offense, but you seem like you have a lot of problems. 281 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,283 [laughs] Okay. 282 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,785 Why don't you eat your Dippin' Dots, all right? 283 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,208 My mom's really not that great. 284 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,793 I kind of hated living with her. 285 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,878 [as Rodney Dangerfield] Tell me about it, okay? 286 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,714 What's that? 287 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,133 - It's Rodney Dangerfield. - Who? 288 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,592 You don't know Rodney Dangerfield? 289 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,553 [as Rodney Dangerfield] Hey, we're all gonna get laid. 290 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,346 You remember that guy? He's a comedian. 291 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,597 Who's your favorite comedian? 292 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,765 Addison Rae. 293 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,309 Jesus. Fuck. 294 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,729 Look, Anna, you know, I get it. 295 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:49,190 Living with your mom could suck, you know? 296 00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,151 Don't you live with your mom? 297 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,069 Hey, she lives with me, okay? 298 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,071 Look, I pay the mortgage. 299 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,448 All right? 300 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,036 I hate my life. 301 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,162 Hey. 302 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,413 Hey, look at me. Don't say that. 303 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,415 Don't say you hate your life, okay? 304 00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,542 Life is just really tough when you're a kid. 305 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,420 Nobody tells you that, but being a kid sucks. 306 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,047 It's really confusing, you know? 307 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,674 And you might see kids with their parents together, 308 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,967 and you think they have a happy life and everything. 309 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,594 And yeah, they do right now, but you know what? 310 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,304 It's gonna fizzle out after high school. 311 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,805 They're all gonna do heroin in college. 312 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,140 But not you. Not you. 313 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,850 This is your origin story. 314 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,061 You're a superhero. You are a warrior. 315 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,228 I'm gonna call you Xena. 316 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,855 You are Xena the Warrior Princess. 317 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,273 You'll figure it out. 318 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,775 So what you can't control things right now? 319 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,193 That's fine. You're a kid. You're not supposed 320 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,652 to be able to figure out how to control things. 321 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,279 But you can control what makes you happy, 322 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,572 who you have in your life. 323 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,990 What do you like to do? Do you have hobbies? 324 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,867 Do you have any friends? You must have tons of friends. 325 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,160 You don't have any friends? 326 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,620 Come on. I don't buy that. 327 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:46,081 Okay, well, you have two now. How about that? 328 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,248 Me and Nikki'll be your friends. 329 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,292 Is that cool? You wanna be our friend? 330 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,293 You wanna be part of our gang? 331 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,961 [laughs] Yeah. 332 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,130 Yeah? All right, my G. 333 00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:57,384 Finish your ice cream and we'll go on some rides, okay? 334 00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:03,890 ♪ ♪ 335 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:10,980 [bottles clatter] 336 00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,899 I saw you talking to Anna. 337 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,317 That was really sweet. 338 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,527 Yeah, she's really sweet. 339 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,153 And just--I feel bad, you know? 340 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,322 She's, like, a kid. That shit sucks. 341 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,490 I just--I don't even know 342 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:21,783 if she's having a good time, you know? 343 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:24,411 No, she's having a very fun time. 344 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,287 You're actually, like, surprisingly good 345 00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:28,039 at this whole parent thing. 346 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,833 - Really? - Yeah. 347 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,835 I mean, it's probably 'cause you're so emotionally stunted, 348 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:32,794 but... 349 00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:37,048 I wish a big, strong man would win me a teddy bear. 350 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,758 You and me both, sweetheart. 351 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,010 Huh? 352 00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,220 I said, three balls for $5, 353 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,222 12 for 10. 354 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,307 Hey, would it be possible to just, 355 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,851 I don't know, buy one of the bears? 356 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,729 Oh, you're one of those "how much can I buy it for" guys. 357 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,772 Never earned a fucking thing in your life. 358 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,691 - What? - The bear's worth nothing. 359 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,193 The victory and excitement of winning the bear-- 360 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,445 priceless. 361 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,781 These bears have been in these rafters 362 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:02,991 for 20 years. 363 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,200 20. 364 00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:05,618 [dramatic music] 365 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:08,038 Come on. Don't be a pussy. 366 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,205 Fuckin'... 367 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,540 How's a G sound, huh? 368 00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:12,375 - A G sounds great. - Let's go. 369 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,337 Fuck. Now we're fuckin' talking. 370 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,130 [bottles clattering] 371 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,506 - Oh, shit! - Oh, my God! 372 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,300 - Whoo! - Fuck! 373 00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:22,093 Forgot to spray the bottles down. 374 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,261 - What? - What? 375 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,059 - Oh, my God. - What the fuck? 376 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,393 [engine starts] 377 00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,103 - What the fuck? - What? 378 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,396 Whoa! Hey, hey! 379 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,398 Oh, guys, I'm sorry. 380 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,525 I was just in the bathroom doing some schneef. 381 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,610 All right. Here we go. 382 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,404 Bottle down. Three balls for $5. 383 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,239 - All right? - The guy... 384 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:44,240 There was another guy. 385 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:45,784 Listen, forget about that. 386 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,620 I can give you the bear for $20. 387 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,871 How 'bout some schneef? 388 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,706 It's $20 for schneef. 389 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:54,959 I can put the schneef in the bear. $40. 390 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,294 So what do you say? 391 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,962 You want the schneef-filled bear? 392 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,047 Yeah. 393 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,007 Can I come? both: No. 394 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,300 I went too far? 395 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,593 - A little bit, yeah. - Yeah? All right. 396 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,095 - Take the fuckin' bear. - Thanks. 397 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,763 Fuck off. 398 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,473 [both giggle] 399 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:11,810 Thank you. 400 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,437 So I was thinking, why risk it? 401 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,773 Why roll the dice when I already know 402 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:20,527 the best womb a baby could want? 403 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,321 Yeah. I mean, quick question. 404 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,906 Does Pete know that you're here? 405 00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:26,866 I mean, we broke up a really long time ago. 406 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,452 I feel like this would give him a full panic attack. 407 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,745 No, he doesn't know. 408 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,580 But I don't think he even realizes 409 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,040 how perfect this would be. 410 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,126 Honestly, the thought of him wanting a baby this bad 411 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,795 that he would do it by himself is kind of breaking my heart. 412 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,383 God, I forgot what a sweet girl you are. 413 00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:44,718 You are an angel. 414 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,511 [laughs] 415 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,221 You know what? You're right. 416 00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,306 You should not be the surrogate. 417 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,641 Why not? 418 00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,643 - You should be his wife. - Yeah. 419 00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,311 - I'm sold. I'm in. - Okay. 420 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,189 I choose you. Aw. 421 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,483 - You know I have a boyfriend. - Yeah, I know. 422 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,193 Well, it can't be serious. 423 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,737 - I don't see a ring. - It is. 424 00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,196 We've been together over a year. 425 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,322 - Does he love you? - Yeah. 426 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,657 Do you love him? 427 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,701 Yeah. I mean, it's serious. 428 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,327 We have a dog together. 429 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:14,205 Would he leave you for $10,000? 430 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,082 - What? - I'm just saying. 431 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,668 You don't want to throw away an opportunity like this 432 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:21,713 if he would be willing to dump you for 15 grand. 433 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,007 He wouldn't. He wouldn't. 434 00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,092 I don't know. Let's find out. 435 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:29,888 What does he want more: you or $25,000? 436 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:31,931 Okay. 437 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,058 What's the number? 438 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:37,020 [carnival music] 439 00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:39,731 ♪ ♪ 440 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:40,648 Hey. 441 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,317 What's up, guys? Where's Anna? 442 00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:43,818 I thought she was with you. 443 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,446 - You guys were watching her. - Oh, shit. 444 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,281 Wh--I don't-- I don't see her anywhere. 445 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,367 Guys, this is, like, the worst possible thing we can do. 446 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,534 We lost her? 447 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,036 - Anna! Anna! - Anna! 448 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,038 Okay, okay, don't freak out and 449 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,373 - make this about you, please. - What do you mean? 450 00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,499 She's probably around here somewhere. 451 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,376 No, she's not. Fuck, this is so bad! 452 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,378 Anna! Anna! 453 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:02,545 - Anna! - Anna! 454 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:03,630 Anna, get out here! 455 00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:04,839 Where you at, my little G? 456 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,467 - Anna! Anna! - My G, where you at? 457 00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:09,010 She's not answering. Anna? 458 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,136 See, this is why I need my phone. 459 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,596 You guys took it. Psychos. 460 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,889 No, man. No. 461 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,224 You wouldn't find that kid with your phone. 462 00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,725 I find kids all the time with my phone, Derek. 463 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,102 - Wow. - That's dark. 464 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,770 I understand what's going on here. 465 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,814 There's a white girl gone missing in this park. 466 00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:23,358 I'm getting the fuck out of here. 467 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,026 You fucking asshole. 468 00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,529 I'm keeping the dog, you piece of shit. 469 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,531 [sighs] 470 00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,784 Oh, honey. 471 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,536 It's better you find out now. 472 00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:35,912 I mean, it's not true love if he's willing 473 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,331 to throw it all away for 50 Gs. 474 00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:40,291 You're a terrible person. 475 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,252 Oh, I see, your boyfriend leaves you for cash, 476 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,753 and I'm the monster. 477 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:47,549 Amy, you have all this energy and drive right now. 478 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,384 It's going into a really dark place. 479 00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:52,220 You know how they say put the oxygen mask on yourself first? 480 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,431 You act like you've gone a really long time 481 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,057 with no oxygen. 482 00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,353 You ruined this cake for me. [sniffles] 483 00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:02,063 And it was my favorite cake. 484 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,945 Anna? Anna! [phone chimes] 485 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,031 We have him dressed as a banker now. 486 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,241 He's the "woof" of Wall Street. 487 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:14,492 - The wolf. - Fuckin' hilarious! 488 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,952 - What are you doing? - Oh. 489 00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:17,954 We have to keep looking. Come on. 490 00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:19,956 Should be a spooky waste of time. Let's go. 491 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,624 Yeah, maybe the little G went in here. 492 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:22,792 All right. 493 00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,712 [intense spooky music] 494 00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,255 ♪ ♪ 495 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,008 [humming] 496 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,636 [growls] 497 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,305 [continues humming] 498 00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,765 [claps] 499 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,892 ♪ ♪ 500 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,894 - [growls] - Aah! I fuckin' hate this! 501 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,067 Argh! 502 00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,985 - Good night. - [grunts] 503 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,279 Time to go to work. 504 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:55,825 ♪ ♪ 505 00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:57,577 [growls] [chainsaw buzzing] 506 00:17:57,619 --> 00:17:58,745 [growls] 507 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,749 Sweet dreams. 508 00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,918 Sweet dreams. 509 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,713 Are any of these your kid? 510 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,548 [dramatic tone] 511 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,008 [cheerful music playing] 512 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,802 [whispering] Get me outta here. 513 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,598 Yo, you really fucked that wolf man up, dude. 514 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,392 You got a solid right. 515 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,893 We're not close like that. 516 00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,561 Pete forgives because he's an open soul, 517 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,605 but it's my job to protect him from anything. 518 00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,232 You betrayed us. 519 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,234 What, you guys never used Pete to try to get something? 520 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:32,112 Pete's aura is a delicate ecosystem. 521 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:34,864 It's an ecosystem that supports the life of all of us. 522 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,700 And you fucked with that ecosystem. 523 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:37,867 You're an existential threat. 524 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,536 I've seen guys like you before. 525 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,037 In and out in six months. 526 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,373 Free weed. Supreme hoodies. 527 00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:45,500 Enjoy it while it lasts, 'cause at the end of the day, 528 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,085 - the couch is mine. - Hey! 529 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,545 - What the fuck is your problem? - Oh, shit, Crilly, look out! 530 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:49,879 [grunts] 531 00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:52,215 - [thuds] - Oh, shit. 532 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:54,009 Knocked the dust out that zombie. 533 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,885 Matter of fact, run his pockets. 534 00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:57,762 - And you... - Huh? 535 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,097 - You're back in. - Huh. 536 00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:00,557 - You're my G for life, bro. - Did you see that? 537 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,183 Come here. 538 00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:03,893 But if you ever cross Pete again, 539 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,061 you're fuckin' dead. 540 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:07,188 You ever cross Pete, you're dead. 541 00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:10,567 - Yeah, boy. - Yeah. 542 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:11,901 Come here. 543 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,820 - Let's go get some popcorn. - Yeah. 544 00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:17,032 - Anna! - Anna! 545 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,700 - Anna! - Anna! 546 00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:19,826 Anna! 547 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,411 Oh, my God. There she is. 548 00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:23,079 Anna! 549 00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:25,415 - Where have you been? - I got hungry. 550 00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:27,208 Where did you go? I was so worried about you. 551 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,918 You can never do that again, okay? 552 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,086 Do you know what could have happened to you? 553 00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:32,589 - Have you seen "SVU"? - No. 554 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,299 Hey, my G. 555 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,968 Oh, you three show up just when the problem's solved. 556 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:39,346 - Awesome. - Pete, you found the kid? 557 00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:41,139 Incredible, dude. You're a legend. 558 00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,932 - Thanks, man. - Hey, can we go home now? 559 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:44,267 I mean, we found the little white girl, 560 00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:45,894 so we should probably leave the casino 561 00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,062 while we're still up. 562 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,229 No, we can't go yet 563 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,981 'cause Anna hasn't been on any rides. 564 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,566 I mean, this day's all about you, right? 565 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,777 We gotta take you on a ride. What's your favorite ride? 566 00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,320 Princess Coaster. 567 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,197 But it's closed. 568 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,783 Okay, well, how about we go on my favorite ride? 569 00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,117 Turbulence. 570 00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:03,078 - Is it scary? - No. 571 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,871 Not at all. Not for you. 572 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:07,123 - I might go on it. - Good. 573 00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:08,375 I think you should go on it. You know why? 574 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,126 'Cause remember when we were talking earlier 575 00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:11,503 and you weren't feeling so hot 576 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,962 and I said that you're a strong superhero 577 00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,422 and you're a super warrior? 578 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,633 When you go on a ride like this that you're afraid of, 579 00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:19,386 when you go on, you're gonna feel so good about yourself. 580 00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:23,181 - Promise? - I promise. 581 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:26,810 Ready? [coaster hisses] 582 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,645 I don't know. 583 00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:30,146 What was your favorite ride? 584 00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:31,272 Princess Coaster. 585 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,899 Fuck the Princess Coaster. 586 00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:34,025 Let's go! 587 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,236 Whoo! Whoo! 588 00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:38,363 [whimpers] We're really high up! 589 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:39,656 Not for long! 590 00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:41,866 Let's go! 591 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:45,495 - Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - [screaming] 592 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:50,291 - We're gonna die! - Yeah, we are! 593 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:54,963 Wasn't that great? 594 00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:56,089 Wasn't that so much fun? Huh? 595 00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:57,507 [whimpers] 596 00:20:57,549 --> 00:20:59,676 Why would you force me to do that? 597 00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:02,137 Whoa. Hey, I didn't force you to do anything, okay? 598 00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,847 You said I'd like it, and I didn't! 599 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,557 I didn't like it! I hated it! 600 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,809 - Yo, is that Pete Davidson? - I miss my mom! I miss my mom! 601 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:09,811 I'm sorry. I was just trying to help you. 602 00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:11,229 What happened? Are you okay? What's wrong? 603 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:12,689 I don't know. She's freaking out. 604 00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:15,150 - Calm down. Calm down. - You're horrible! 605 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,109 He's not horrible. He's great. 606 00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:17,235 You said if things are gay, 607 00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:18,653 they're the worst things in the world! 608 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,363 Oh, come on. You knew what I meant. 609 00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:21,948 I heard everything you said in the car. 610 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,450 Everything! 611 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,869 You said that you lied about liking "Black Panther." 612 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,037 He never even saw it! 613 00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,079 - What? - What? 614 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:30,373 You shut your mouth. 615 00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:32,083 Guys, she's just a kid. 616 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:34,377 I mean, I s-- I saw "Black Panther." 617 00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:36,046 Multiple times, right? 618 00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:37,547 "Wakander" forever. 619 00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:39,090 There's no hard "R" in "Wakanda," 620 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,300 you fucking racist. 621 00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:41,634 What's with this guy? [crown booing] 622 00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:43,470 I told you to watch that movie. 623 00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,055 So now, we out here fucked up. 624 00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:47,390 The girl from "Ring" is out here tryna get you cancelled, 625 00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:48,600 and Kenny Rogers from the fuckin' future 626 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,060 thinks he's a goddamn journalist. 627 00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:51,478 Go ahead. Put the camera down. 628 00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:52,979 Hey, Davidson. [booing continues] 629 00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,439 I got a "Weekend Update" for you. 630 00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:56,191 You suck. [laughter] 631 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,484 Right? Come on. 632 00:21:57,525 --> 00:22:00,445 And your special was so-so. 633 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:03,740 There's nothin' worse than a Wakanda denier. 634 00:22:03,782 --> 00:22:07,035 [soft ambient music] 635 00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:13,041 ♪ ♪ 636 00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:15,335 [sighs] Hey, I'm sorry I-- 637 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,295 I let you down today. 638 00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:19,798 You know, it was my first day as a dad, 639 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:22,175 and I fucked up, you know? 640 00:22:22,217 --> 00:22:24,427 Okay, let's slow down. You weren't a dad. 641 00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:26,554 You were a co-babysitter for, like, eight hours. 642 00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:28,807 I was kind of a dad, right? 643 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:30,016 Okay, this is crazy. 644 00:22:30,058 --> 00:22:31,059 Can we stop acting like you're gonna have, 645 00:22:31,101 --> 00:22:32,560 like, a kid tomorrow? 646 00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:34,312 Why? Why is that so crazy? 647 00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:35,605 Everybody's saying that to me. 648 00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:37,273 They're saying, "Oh, you can't do..." 649 00:22:37,315 --> 00:22:39,776 Why? Why? I love very strong. 650 00:22:39,818 --> 00:22:42,070 I would take really good care of a kid. 651 00:22:42,112 --> 00:22:44,823 Am I that crazy to think that I could take care of something 652 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,116 and love something and-- 653 00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,451 No. No, I... 654 00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:52,288 I think you're gonna be a really great, 655 00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:55,500 not-high-all-the-time dad. 656 00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:57,293 Someday. 657 00:22:57,335 --> 00:22:59,587 - I see it. - Thanks. 658 00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:12,225 I can't do this again. 659 00:23:12,267 --> 00:23:15,061 - What? - I can't do this again. 660 00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:17,605 If you wanna be friends with me, 661 00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:20,316 I will be your best fucking friend. 662 00:23:20,358 --> 00:23:23,653 But can you just please stop confusing me? 663 00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:26,573 'Cause it's mean and it hurts. 664 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:29,951 * Loneliness ♪ 665 00:23:29,993 --> 00:23:32,829 ♪ Loneliness ♪ 666 00:23:32,871 --> 00:23:34,497 ♪ ♪ 667 00:23:34,539 --> 00:23:39,252 ♪ How I miss your tenderness ♪ 668 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,712 ♪ ♪ 669 00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:45,884 ♪ Seems so long since you've gone ♪ 670 00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:47,177 [sighs] Hey, Mom. 671 00:23:47,218 --> 00:23:49,012 I'm--I'm fuckin' starving. 672 00:23:49,054 --> 00:23:51,222 Do you have food left over? 673 00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:53,850 Go take a look. I'm watching "Grey's." 674 00:23:53,892 --> 00:23:56,519 Well, can I join? 675 00:23:56,561 --> 00:23:58,646 You're a grown man. Do what you want. 676 00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:05,737 All right. Catch me up. 677 00:24:07,072 --> 00:24:08,615 Meredith might have found out 678 00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:10,617 that McDreamy was cheating on her in D.C., 679 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,452 but it's questionable. 680 00:24:12,494 --> 00:24:13,787 What a douchebag. 681 00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:16,456 I mean, doesn't he know that she's the sun? 682 00:24:20,085 --> 00:24:22,545 Hey, after this, do you wanna watch "Black Panther"? 683 00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:24,047 - No. - Okay. 684 00:24:24,089 --> 00:24:29,052 {\an8}* I want you back right by my side ♪ 685 00:24:29,094 --> 00:24:31,262 {\an8}♪ ♪ 686 00:24:31,304 --> 00:24:37,143 {\an8}♪ I feel bad, don't you see? ♪ 687 00:24:37,185 --> 00:24:42,190 {\an8}♪ Oh, don't do this to me ♪ 688 00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,733 {\an8}♪ ♪ 689 00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:48,738 {\an8}♪ Please come back to my side ♪ 690 00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:50,323 {\an8}♪ ♪ 691 00:24:50,365 --> 00:24:54,994 {\an8}♪ Wipe the tears from my eyes ♪ 692 00:24:55,036 --> 00:24:56,538 {\an8}♪ ♪ 693 00:24:56,579 --> 00:25:01,001 {\an8}♪ Stop this hate in my heart ♪ 694 00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:02,752 {\an8}♪ ♪ 695 00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:08,800 {\an8}♪ Say that we will never part ♪ 696 00:25:08,842 --> 00:25:15,807 {\an8}♪ ♪