1
00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:47,307
♪ Sky is grey ♪
2
00:00:47,407 --> 00:00:49,469
♪ Sand is grey ♪
3
00:00:49,569 --> 00:00:51,571
♪ And the ocean is grey ♪
4
00:00:54,614 --> 00:00:57,117
♪ I feel right at home ♪
5
00:00:57,217 --> 00:01:00,800
EDDIE: There's my ray of sunshine.
- [groans]
6
00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:02,842
Love what you've done with the place.
7
00:01:02,942 --> 00:01:04,564
[groaning]
8
00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:07,887
- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- No.
9
00:01:07,987 --> 00:01:10,170
It's too sad.
10
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:11,811
That's enough photos from 2010.
11
00:01:11,911 --> 00:01:14,054
No! I was so happy then.
12
00:01:14,154 --> 00:01:16,536
No, you weren't Maggie.
You were just on pills.
13
00:01:16,636 --> 00:01:19,619
Look, Eddie.
Look at Johnny.
14
00:01:19,719 --> 00:01:21,901
He's my only fit ex and he was rich.
15
00:01:22,001 --> 00:01:24,184
Remember he bought me
an iPod Nano just because?
16
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:25,465
He was boring though, Mags.
17
00:01:25,565 --> 00:01:26,786
You caught up on emails
18
00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:28,348
whilst he went down on you.
19
00:01:28,448 --> 00:01:30,270
I think he might be my husband.
20
00:01:30,370 --> 00:01:33,513
- Does he still have the fringe?
- Yes, but it's been updated.
21
00:01:33,613 --> 00:01:36,476
He lives in Battersea now
and he loves cycling, telling people
22
00:01:36,576 --> 00:01:38,478
where he cycled
and how long it took.
23
00:01:38,578 --> 00:01:41,000
What does he do now?
What do posh men do?
24
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:44,444
I feel like it's only ever finance
or something really, really dumb.
25
00:01:44,544 --> 00:01:46,446
That adult ball pit thing you hate.
26
00:01:46,546 --> 00:01:48,168
Not Balls To The Wall?
27
00:01:48,268 --> 00:01:51,851
- He owns that.
- Ugh, that fucking sucks.
28
00:01:51,951 --> 00:01:53,853
Yeah, but he's so normal and sane.
29
00:01:53,953 --> 00:01:56,376
His parents are still together, by choice.
30
00:01:56,476 --> 00:01:59,739
Not because they couldn't decide who
should keep the Aga like Ryan's parents.
31
00:01:59,839 --> 00:02:02,982
I got you doughnuts because you
think cupcakes are for...
32
00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:04,824
Noughties gender reveals.
You are correct.
33
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:07,107
You are my tiny baby and I love you.
34
00:02:07,207 --> 00:02:09,209
Ohh.
35
00:02:13,813 --> 00:02:16,596
Aw, mmm...
36
00:02:16,696 --> 00:02:20,039
Erm... I don't wanna go anymore,
by the way.
37
00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:21,921
What?
38
00:02:22,021 --> 00:02:24,924
You said all you wanted for your birthday
was a gentle evening
39
00:02:25,024 --> 00:02:26,566
supermarket sweep through TK Maxx.
40
00:02:26,666 --> 00:02:28,328
I know, but...
41
00:02:28,428 --> 00:02:30,690
I'll celebrate my 30th
when I have something to celebrate.
42
00:02:30,790 --> 00:02:33,012
Speaking of which, I think The Furlong
43
00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:35,215
are gonna drop my play, so...
44
00:02:35,315 --> 00:02:37,657
Missed six or seven calls from my agent.
45
00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:42,622
OK, but I swung by the Maxx yesterday
and they had a lot of new stock delivered.
46
00:02:42,722 --> 00:02:45,305
- Loads of kitchen stuff.
- Really?
47
00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:46,786
Mm-hm.
48
00:02:46,886 --> 00:02:49,309
God, if I could finally get
a big Le Creuset,
49
00:02:49,409 --> 00:02:51,411
things might really turn around for me.
50
00:02:52,652 --> 00:02:54,594
Let's do it.
51
00:02:54,694 --> 00:02:58,598
Did you know that every year one
Faberge egg gets hidden in a TK Maxx
52
00:02:58,698 --> 00:03:01,080
somewhere in the world
and it gets sold for 19.99?
53
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:02,642
That can't be true.
54
00:03:02,742 --> 00:03:05,165
It's true. I read all
of the TK Maxx Subreddit.
55
00:03:05,265 --> 00:03:07,647
- Why are we here?
- I'm grabbing some bags for life
56
00:03:07,747 --> 00:03:10,130
in case we hit the jackpot
in the candle aisle.
57
00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:11,811
- Wait.
- You OK?
58
00:03:11,911 --> 00:03:14,013
I just thought I saw a... you know.
59
00:03:14,113 --> 00:03:16,656
Oh, my God. Get an exterminator, like.
60
00:03:16,756 --> 00:03:19,359
I can't afford it
and my method is working.
61
00:03:22,922 --> 00:03:25,385
ALL: Happy Birthday!
62
00:03:25,485 --> 00:03:27,487
[cheering]
63
00:03:31,371 --> 00:03:34,374
[groans, weak sighing]
64
00:03:36,376 --> 00:03:38,378
[pained sigh]
65
00:03:39,539 --> 00:03:43,303
OK, go mingle. Maggie will be ready
to party in no time.
66
00:03:44,304 --> 00:03:48,147
Before you freak out, can I just show you
all the cool shit I've done?
67
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:54,514
Come on, look, look, look, look.
Custom cocktails.
68
00:03:56,115 --> 00:04:01,741
A photo booth. You love a photo booth.
And, and, and, got...
69
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:05,365
Him off of eBay.
70
00:04:07,327 --> 00:04:09,949
- Ohh...
- Maggie!
71
00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:12,272
Do you remember
when you had Norovirus at Bestival?
72
00:04:12,372 --> 00:04:15,034
I got you adult nappies
so you didn't miss Elton John.
73
00:04:15,134 --> 00:04:17,317
If you can do that, you can do this.
74
00:04:17,417 --> 00:04:21,441
Eddie, I know we've wanted to throw
a Love Actually party for years,
75
00:04:21,541 --> 00:04:23,443
but this could not be worse timing.
76
00:04:23,543 --> 00:04:26,005
- Just because you're in a funk.
- It's not a funk.
77
00:04:26,105 --> 00:04:28,448
- It's a mood disorder.
- Sorry, I know.
78
00:04:28,548 --> 00:04:31,691
If you stay at home alone
on your birthday you're gonna regret it.
79
00:04:31,791 --> 00:04:34,994
I know you will.
And I promise, we're gonna have fun.
80
00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:41,321
I will do one hour. That is it.
81
00:04:43,042 --> 00:04:45,044
Yes, my darling.
82
00:04:46,966 --> 00:04:48,968
So if you are Laura Lee...
83
00:04:50,169 --> 00:04:56,155
does that make me
her brother who has a mental illness?
84
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:58,598
It's what we always said we'd do.
Klent, go!
85
00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:00,600
Oh Jesus, no. What are you doing?
86
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,522
I've got her. Get her arms.
87
00:05:02,622 --> 00:05:04,524
Trust me, we're gonna have so much fun.
88
00:05:04,624 --> 00:05:05,725
[struggling]
89
00:05:05,825 --> 00:05:08,288
We're there. See, you look so good.
90
00:05:08,388 --> 00:05:10,390
Happy birthday, Maggie.
91
00:05:11,190 --> 00:05:14,534
Oh, everything OK?
92
00:05:14,634 --> 00:05:16,676
Oh yeah. Peachy.
93
00:05:17,637 --> 00:05:20,059
I thought you said
you'd gotten rid of that smell?
94
00:05:20,159 --> 00:05:22,982
Have you not been getting any
of my texts, calls?
95
00:05:23,082 --> 00:05:25,745
I've been busy. Me and Lauren
went on a survivalist weekend
96
00:05:25,845 --> 00:05:28,308
in Bury St Edmunds.
97
00:05:28,408 --> 00:05:30,890
Oh good, my mother is here.
98
00:05:32,171 --> 00:05:36,316
Lauren, can you get a round,
tell him to put it on my tab?
99
00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:37,997
Thanks for dressing up.
100
00:05:38,097 --> 00:05:40,480
Well, I'm Colin Firth, or whatever.
101
00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:44,163
So? What were you doing
sniffing around the bar the other day?
102
00:05:44,263 --> 00:05:47,086
- I'm allowed to look around.
- With a surveyor?
103
00:05:47,186 --> 00:05:49,409
Fine. Look, this business
is not making money.
104
00:05:49,509 --> 00:05:51,731
- Like, any money.
- It's just a dry spell.
105
00:05:51,831 --> 00:05:54,854
I need it to. I've got
a big project I'm working on.
106
00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:57,256
- The fucking apocalypse bunker.
- You wouldn't understand.
107
00:05:57,356 --> 00:05:59,339
You never read the articles I send.
108
00:05:59,439 --> 00:06:01,381
Jay. You need money
for crossbows and Spam?
109
00:06:01,481 --> 00:06:03,943
I'll get you money for crossbows and Spam.
110
00:06:04,043 --> 00:06:06,786
I've found a way to bring in
a bit more revenue.
111
00:06:06,886 --> 00:06:08,588
Ever heard of Balls To The Wall?
112
00:06:08,688 --> 00:06:11,351
- The adult ball pit thing.
- Correct.
113
00:06:11,451 --> 00:06:14,714
I know the guy that owns it.
They don't have a Dalston branch.
114
00:06:14,814 --> 00:06:17,797
I happen to know
that we have a basement that is empty.
115
00:06:17,897 --> 00:06:19,719
Anyway, I invited him here tonight.
116
00:06:19,819 --> 00:06:23,122
You invited the balls guy
to the Love Actually party?
117
00:06:23,222 --> 00:06:25,224
Impressed?
118
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,086
I've gotta go now.
119
00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:28,608
Lauren, her hands are too small
120
00:06:28,708 --> 00:06:30,930
to hold a pint glass.
121
00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:32,812
Will, why are you a worm?
122
00:06:32,912 --> 00:06:35,435
I'm an eel. On Colin Firth's leg. Look.
123
00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:40,740
- Are you all right?
- It's just Jay.
124
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:42,982
Is there anything I can do?
Literally anything.
125
00:06:43,082 --> 00:06:44,784
If you say anything, I'll do it.
126
00:06:44,884 --> 00:06:47,186
Can I have a Martini Freeman
on the rocks?
127
00:06:47,286 --> 00:06:49,288
Coming right up.
128
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:51,711
Sorry, sorry.
129
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:55,355
I'm fine, Mum. I'm just in costume
as someone not doing well.
130
00:06:55,455 --> 00:06:57,517
Maggie, I went to your flat.
131
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,359
- When?
- This morning.
132
00:06:59,459 --> 00:07:01,401
You were asleep.
Didn't want to wake you.
133
00:07:01,501 --> 00:07:03,202
You were fine with breaking and entering.
134
00:07:03,302 --> 00:07:05,485
- You're not taking your lithium.
- Shh, yes I am.
135
00:07:05,585 --> 00:07:08,087
- No, you're not. I counted the pills.
- What?
136
00:07:08,187 --> 00:07:09,889
That is very fucked up.
137
00:07:09,989 --> 00:07:11,491
Why aren't you taking them?
138
00:07:11,591 --> 00:07:13,613
Can we just talk about this another time?
139
00:07:13,713 --> 00:07:15,375
But you don't answer my calls.
140
00:07:15,475 --> 00:07:18,458
Mum, I can't take the pills.
141
00:07:18,558 --> 00:07:21,060
It fucks with my ability
to write and think.
142
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,822
Like wrapping your brain in cotton wool.
143
00:07:22,922 --> 00:07:24,263
I can't live like that.
144
00:07:24,363 --> 00:07:26,105
You can't stop taking them,
willy-nilly.
145
00:07:26,205 --> 00:07:28,428
I've got a plan, Mum? Trust me.
146
00:07:28,528 --> 00:07:30,349
Oh, great costumes, ladies.
147
00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:32,712
Thanks, Eddie. Lynn hasn't seen the film,
148
00:07:32,812 --> 00:07:35,395
but she did what she could
from Google Images.
149
00:07:35,495 --> 00:07:38,317
Now. What time is food being served?
150
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,620
Erm... We're not doing food.
151
00:07:43,783 --> 00:07:45,565
Auntie Lynn gets anaemic after six.
152
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:49,248
Well, while we recover from that,
I'm just gonna go to the loo.
153
00:07:49,348 --> 00:07:51,350
Come on, Lynn.
154
00:07:54,714 --> 00:07:57,136
Hey. Haven't seen any
of our little guests, have you?
155
00:07:57,236 --> 00:07:59,719
Eddie, this is really very heavy.
Can you please move?
156
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,922
Get behind the bar.
157
00:08:04,644 --> 00:08:06,345
- Maggie!
- Maggie!
158
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:09,909
Oh. Hi. Thanks for coming, Anya.
159
00:08:10,009 --> 00:08:12,231
- And Owen.
- And Owen.
160
00:08:12,331 --> 00:08:14,474
Guess who we are.
161
00:08:14,574 --> 00:08:16,956
[groaning]
162
00:08:17,056 --> 00:08:19,238
Chance would be a fine thing, eh?
163
00:08:19,338 --> 00:08:21,280
[laughter]
164
00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:24,243
Oh. I can't believe you haven't met
Mercury yet.
165
00:08:24,343 --> 00:08:27,006
We're really hoping to see you
at the placenta ceremony.
166
00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:31,050
Oh, yeah. Sorry,
I'm not really a baby person
167
00:08:31,150 --> 00:08:32,972
Mercury's not like other babies.
168
00:08:33,072 --> 00:08:34,534
He's incredibly insightful.
169
00:08:34,634 --> 00:08:36,716
God, this place hasn't changed a bit.
170
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:43,863
How much time did we spend here?
It smells a lot less... pungent.
171
00:08:43,963 --> 00:08:46,185
- Mags.
- Oh.
172
00:08:46,285 --> 00:08:48,227
So nice to see you out and about.
173
00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:50,309
Ryan, she hasn't had a hip replacement.
174
00:08:50,409 --> 00:08:53,553
No, I know, I just... Eddie says
that you're feeling a bit down.
175
00:08:53,653 --> 00:08:55,394
Look. I totally get it.
176
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,957
I was a wreck last year
after my cheekbones migrated.
177
00:08:58,057 --> 00:09:01,540
Right. I'm about to piss myself.
So, if you don't mind, I'm just gonna...
178
00:09:02,822 --> 00:09:05,645
Oh, not the engaged girlies.
179
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:09,208
BRB. I gotta... Excuse me. Bye. Bye.
180
00:09:09,308 --> 00:09:11,310
Klent!
181
00:09:13,192 --> 00:09:15,194
Come on, for fuck's sake.
182
00:09:16,636 --> 00:09:18,217
It was only two!
183
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:19,739
- Get her!
- What?
184
00:09:19,839 --> 00:09:23,062
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Ow! What the fuck?
185
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:26,425
- That was nowhere near an hour.
- I can't do it, Eddie.
186
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,467
I just got accosted by Tiffany rings.
187
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:31,511
Please, please let me go home.
188
00:09:31,611 --> 00:09:34,974
Maggie,
I'm not trying to torture you.
189
00:09:36,135 --> 00:09:39,038
I know you feel like shit,
but if you stay home alone
190
00:09:39,138 --> 00:09:41,080
on your birthday
it'll make you feel worse,
191
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,382
and I can't bear the thought of it, OK?
192
00:09:44,904 --> 00:09:46,906
Everyone in there loves you.
193
00:09:48,668 --> 00:09:51,390
Come back in.
I promise you'll start to feel better.
194
00:09:52,271 --> 00:09:55,675
And if anyone else pisses you off,
I'll lock them in the rat hotel.
195
00:09:57,156 --> 00:09:59,258
OK, fine.
196
00:09:59,358 --> 00:10:03,242
Will you kindly ask Klent to get off me
before I elbow him in the mouth?
197
00:10:04,483 --> 00:10:06,485
[heavy sigh]
198
00:10:09,168 --> 00:10:11,791
Anya, you can't smoke in here.
199
00:10:11,891 --> 00:10:14,313
Why not?
200
00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:16,415
ANYA: What is this, a crime or something?
201
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:20,019
[twinkly music]
202
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,822
GUEST: Hey, Maggie!
- Yeee... hi.
203
00:10:24,303 --> 00:10:26,305
Ooo.
204
00:10:30,990 --> 00:10:32,992
[squeaking]
205
00:10:34,313 --> 00:10:36,876
I need you little freaks
to shut this party down.
206
00:10:42,401 --> 00:10:45,604
GUESTS: Happy birthday!
- Oh, yeah. Feliz navidad.
207
00:10:50,169 --> 00:10:52,171
[sigh of relief]
208
00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:55,454
And now we wait.
209
00:10:57,496 --> 00:10:58,998
[knock on door]
210
00:10:59,098 --> 00:11:01,400
No, this toilet is blocked by a ghost.
211
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,963
- It's Ryan!
- Yeah, the ghost doesn't know who that is.
212
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:06,065
RYAN: Maggie, I have mushroom oil.
213
00:11:13,592 --> 00:11:15,254
OK, I am all for realism,
214
00:11:15,354 --> 00:11:17,296
but you could've at least
washed your hair.
215
00:11:17,396 --> 00:11:18,377
[knock on door]
216
00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:20,379
No, no, pretend to be a ghost.
217
00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:22,842
- It's Anya!.
- No, no, no, no, no.
218
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:27,186
Oh, fabulous. I found the gap.
219
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:29,909
[baby voice] Give Mama Anya
a little line, kind sir.
220
00:11:30,009 --> 00:11:32,752
No, Anya. Nobody cool does coke anymore.
221
00:11:32,852 --> 00:11:36,355
Michael Gove ruined it.
We are on the mushroom oil.
222
00:11:36,455 --> 00:11:39,078
- How chic. Where'd you get it?
- That visual artist I dated.
223
00:11:39,178 --> 00:11:40,159
- Graham?
- Yeah.
224
00:11:40,259 --> 00:11:41,721
Did he give your printer back?
225
00:11:41,821 --> 00:11:44,043
No, but did me a favour.
Ink's so expensive.
226
00:11:44,143 --> 00:11:47,506
I'm ready to head back out, actually.
But thank you for the loud talking.
227
00:11:49,508 --> 00:11:51,811
- Erm, Eddie...
- I'm not teaching you
228
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:53,913
how to pour a Guinness again.
229
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:02,361
We've encountered some issues
at the hotel.
230
00:12:03,282 --> 00:12:05,284
Have the guests left the compound?
231
00:12:06,045 --> 00:12:08,047
Biz, this is such bad timing.
232
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:13,072
Is that Johnny?
233
00:12:13,172 --> 00:12:15,394
Haven't seen him since Maggie
made us joined the hunt for Raoul Moat.
234
00:12:15,494 --> 00:12:17,496
What's your rat-trapping knowledge like?
235
00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:20,739
Oh, Jesus Christ, no.
236
00:12:23,622 --> 00:12:26,766
I cannot believe it!
RYAN: God, Johnny looked fit.
237
00:12:26,866 --> 00:12:30,489
ANYA: He's beautiful. I'd like to curl up
on his lap like a little cat.
238
00:12:30,589 --> 00:12:32,591
[Maggie groans]
239
00:12:34,073 --> 00:12:35,054
Swap costumes with me.
240
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:36,375
- No.
- Yes.
241
00:12:36,475 --> 00:12:37,737
- No.
- Yes.
242
00:12:37,837 --> 00:12:39,979
No. Get off.
243
00:12:40,079 --> 00:12:42,021
- Ow.
- You made me walk around this party
244
00:12:42,121 --> 00:12:44,824
like a convicted Tube groper,
knowing you'd invited Johnny.
245
00:12:44,924 --> 00:12:47,266
Maggie, I'm sorry,
but there are more pressing issues.
246
00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:49,348
Hotel Ratatouille has had a breakout.
247
00:12:49,448 --> 00:12:51,110
Oh, really?
248
00:12:51,210 --> 00:12:54,714
Could not be worse timing.
Jay's gonna fucking kill me.
249
00:12:54,814 --> 00:12:58,077
God, he still looks like a Roman statue
250
00:12:58,177 --> 00:13:00,339
and I haven't changed my underwear
in three days.
251
00:13:06,265 --> 00:13:09,408
This costume is so hot.
What did he make out of? Roof insulation?
252
00:13:09,508 --> 00:13:12,791
- Take your tentacles off.
- No, I just need the mushrooms to kick in.
253
00:13:14,433 --> 00:13:16,435
Hi.
254
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:21,500
Hey. [laughs] Good to see you.
255
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,142
How have you been?
256
00:13:23,242 --> 00:13:25,024
Yeah, yeah, amazing. Yeah.
257
00:13:25,124 --> 00:13:28,667
- The writing's going really well.
- That's good to hear.
258
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:33,632
You're not doing any more,
you know... nasty stuff.
259
00:13:33,732 --> 00:13:38,357
Ah, no.
No, that, that was the the old me.
260
00:13:38,457 --> 00:13:39,638
That's good to hear.
261
00:13:39,738 --> 00:13:42,201
[Here With Me by Dido plays in background]
262
00:13:42,301 --> 00:13:44,303
You know, I think about you often.
263
00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:47,566
- Oh...
- Johnny!
264
00:13:47,666 --> 00:13:50,609
Eddie! Oh my goodness,
thank you so much for the invite.
265
00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:53,813
I remember you talking about
throwing this party back in the day.
266
00:13:53,913 --> 00:13:56,575
- You know my brother Jay, right?
- Don't think we've met, no.
267
00:13:56,675 --> 00:13:58,737
- We haven't.
- We own the bar together.
268
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,860
We have done ever since Dad passed away.
269
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,903
Couldn't bear to sell it, so I quit uni,
became a landlord.
270
00:14:04,003 --> 00:14:07,827
and then in 2015,
we won Hackney Online's Bar of the Year.
271
00:14:07,927 --> 00:14:09,789
Wow. That's incredible.
272
00:14:09,889 --> 00:14:12,031
You know
what the nightlife industry is like.
273
00:14:12,131 --> 00:14:13,993
Certainly do.
274
00:14:14,093 --> 00:14:16,095
EDDIE: How's it all going?
275
00:14:17,016 --> 00:14:21,720
- I'm a Gatwick boy, myself.
- What the fuck was that? Truffle oil?
276
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:23,883
- Give it some time.
- I don't have time.
277
00:14:23,983 --> 00:14:25,764
If it doesn't kick in soon,
278
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:28,607
I'll fake a burst ovarian cyst
to get out of this fucking party.
279
00:14:28,707 --> 00:14:32,771
I'll give you more if you promise to take
your upper lip sweat elsewhere.
280
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:34,873
Ah-ah-ah...
281
00:14:36,715 --> 00:14:38,717
[squeaking]
282
00:14:43,402 --> 00:14:46,665
It seems weird that Balls To The Wall
doesn't have a Dalston branch.
283
00:14:46,765 --> 00:14:48,507
We've actually been looking
around Hackney Wick.
284
00:14:48,607 --> 00:14:49,869
Oh, Hackney, Wick is actually
285
00:14:49,969 --> 00:14:51,470
the murder capital of East London.
286
00:14:51,570 --> 00:14:54,753
Is it? There's so many yoga studios there.
287
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:58,897
We have a great basement here at
Wet Mouth, just sitting around empty.
288
00:15:03,662 --> 00:15:07,226
Sorry. One sec.
Jay, tell Johnny about the basement.
289
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:11,891
You've seen a basement before, right?
290
00:15:11,991 --> 00:15:13,732
- There are rats everywhere.
- Shut up.
291
00:15:13,832 --> 00:15:15,774
OK.
292
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,876
Whatever it takes.
293
00:15:22,201 --> 00:15:24,703
Does the music need to be this loud?
294
00:15:24,803 --> 00:15:27,426
- Elaine has thin eardrums.
- OK, well go tell Eddie that.
295
00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:30,589
And it's so dark. I can't see a thing.
296
00:15:30,689 --> 00:15:33,792
Elaine stood on someone's foot
and she swore blind it was a rat.
297
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:36,795
DISTORTED: I said, "Elaine,
it will have been a brown loafer."
298
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:39,398
Her night vision has been...
299
00:15:39,498 --> 00:15:41,500
Shh...
300
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,143
Mum.
301
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:47,666
Everything is going to work out.
302
00:15:51,110 --> 00:15:53,112
I can feel it.
303
00:15:53,432 --> 00:15:55,794
[Too Lost In You by Sugababes
plays in background]
304
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:03,622
These little guys almost gate-crashed
the party.
305
00:16:03,722 --> 00:16:05,804
[squeaking]
306
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:10,169
What?
307
00:16:10,529 --> 00:16:12,511
I said trap.
308
00:16:12,611 --> 00:16:14,613
Not kill.
309
00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:16,935
You don't understand, man.
310
00:16:17,736 --> 00:16:19,398
You weren't there.
311
00:16:19,498 --> 00:16:20,719
What did I miss?
312
00:16:20,819 --> 00:16:22,281
It'd be a good idea
313
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:25,044
for my team to come here
and look at your basement.
314
00:16:25,144 --> 00:16:27,646
I can really see my balls in here.
315
00:16:27,746 --> 00:16:31,410
Let me get a round in.
Champers all round, yeah?
316
00:16:31,510 --> 00:16:33,652
Can't believe he thinks
this place sells champagne.
317
00:16:33,752 --> 00:16:36,415
- Could you not just be impressed?
- Fine.
318
00:16:36,515 --> 00:16:41,860
You did good.
I... underestimated you.
319
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,063
God. Can I have that in writing?
320
00:16:44,163 --> 00:16:45,985
You need to help me!
321
00:16:46,085 --> 00:16:48,867
[squelching]
322
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:50,969
Argh!
323
00:16:52,371 --> 00:16:53,872
I can't.
324
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:56,875
They are just living beings like you or I.
325
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,977
[door squeaks]
326
00:17:03,502 --> 00:17:05,504
No, no, no, no...
327
00:17:08,107 --> 00:17:10,149
Oh, gotta go. My surprise is here.
328
00:17:13,192 --> 00:17:16,435
Eddie. I've had an epin...
329
00:17:17,476 --> 00:17:18,537
An epiphany?
330
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:21,780
I think Johnny is my soulmate.
331
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,822
We got together when we were so young,
332
00:17:23,922 --> 00:17:27,686
but now we're older and we're like
ready for each other, you know?
333
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:34,153
OK, maybe. But I did hear
that he's engaged to a hair model.
334
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:38,677
- But love is an open door.
- That's a song from Frozen.
335
00:17:38,777 --> 00:17:42,041
Watch Maggie for me.
I'm gonna get the surprise.
336
00:17:42,141 --> 00:17:43,962
Mushrooms clearly don't work on me.
337
00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:46,725
Can't believe nobody takes
class As anymore.
338
00:17:46,825 --> 00:17:50,229
Had to nick this out of Ryan's pocket
whilst he snogs the arrivals board.
339
00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:53,872
He's being so stingy with it.
340
00:17:56,635 --> 00:17:59,798
Just hold my hands
so my fingers don't get stolen.
341
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:03,362
Shouldn't have given you that.
342
00:18:05,364 --> 00:18:08,006
I'm truly sorry
for what's about to happen.
343
00:18:14,413 --> 00:18:18,997
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
344
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:23,642
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
345
00:18:23,742 --> 00:18:30,089
♪ Happy birthday dear Maggie ♪
346
00:18:30,189 --> 00:18:36,455
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
347
00:18:36,555 --> 00:18:38,757
[cheering]
348
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:42,361
You haven't aged.
349
00:18:42,761 --> 00:18:44,763
Your hand's soaking wet.
350
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:47,526
Make a wish.
351
00:18:50,209 --> 00:18:53,352
- [applause]
- Oh my God, so sorry Joanna Page.
352
00:18:53,452 --> 00:18:55,454
Just Jo is fine.
353
00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:58,036
MAN: Speech.
354
00:18:58,136 --> 00:18:59,318
[murmurs of agreement]
355
00:18:59,418 --> 00:19:01,420
Oh, OK.
356
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:06,024
Wow. Wowee.
357
00:19:07,426 --> 00:19:09,428
What a night.
358
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:14,813
What can I say except
love is an open door
359
00:19:14,913 --> 00:19:18,156
and through that door came all of you.
360
00:19:19,638 --> 00:19:21,640
My friends.
361
00:19:22,641 --> 00:19:24,643
My family.
362
00:19:26,845 --> 00:19:29,968
Maybe even a soulmate.
363
00:19:33,452 --> 00:19:37,996
Because we're all connected, aren't we?
364
00:19:38,096 --> 00:19:43,282
We all... we all came
from that fish with a tail.
365
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:46,705
I think... I think she had legs.
366
00:19:48,066 --> 00:19:53,592
She walked out of the sea and she made us.
367
00:19:55,874 --> 00:20:02,200
Every being on this Earth,
me and you.
368
00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:06,565
Even this little guy.
369
00:20:08,487 --> 00:20:11,230
Even this rat deserves love.
370
00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:14,253
For God's sake, Maggie, put the rat down.
OK.
371
00:20:15,774 --> 00:20:18,717
[screaming and clamouring]
372
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:21,820
[Anya yells indistinctly]
373
00:20:27,065 --> 00:20:32,691
♪ There's no beginning,
There'll be no end ♪
374
00:20:32,791 --> 00:20:38,717
♪ 'Cause on Christmas
You can depend ♪
375
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:46,485
[panicked chatter]
376
00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:52,411
- That fucking rat bit me.
- I'll get you a tetanus jab.
377
00:20:53,732 --> 00:20:55,794
I've told you over and over, Eddie.
378
00:20:55,894 --> 00:20:59,117
If it seemed like things
were going downhill, you were to call me.
379
00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:01,240
She was just upset about the play.
380
00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:04,283
She's not taking her lithium.
You know that, don't you?
381
00:21:04,383 --> 00:21:07,446
Can we stop talking about me
like I'm not sat right here?
382
00:21:07,546 --> 00:21:09,888
We need you in with
Doctor Goulding tomorrow morning
383
00:21:09,988 --> 00:21:12,811
- and back on the medication.
- No, no way.
384
00:21:12,911 --> 00:21:15,734
I hate it and can do without it.
Just need time.
385
00:21:15,834 --> 00:21:19,578
- Absolutely not.
- Gillian. She's an adult.
386
00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:21,860
If she wants to come off it, she can.
387
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:26,545
Maybe she just needs us all to,
you know, support her.
388
00:21:26,645 --> 00:21:30,809
Eddie. You're a bartender,
not a psychiatrist.
389
00:21:31,450 --> 00:21:32,951
Come on, Elaine.
390
00:21:33,051 --> 00:21:34,913
If you won't listen to me,
I'll save my breath.
391
00:21:35,013 --> 00:21:36,795
[siren wails]
392
00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:38,757
[Lauren sobbing]
393
00:21:38,857 --> 00:21:41,219
- Jay, I'm so sorry.
- We're selling the bar.
394
00:21:41,860 --> 00:21:43,882
It's over, Eddie.
395
00:21:43,982 --> 00:21:45,984
No, no, Jay, wait.
396
00:21:48,947 --> 00:21:51,290
My fiancee Aurora
is actually a Reiki healer.
397
00:21:51,390 --> 00:21:53,392
I think she could really help you.
398
00:21:55,193 --> 00:21:57,996
- I thought she was a hair model.
- Yes, she does both.
399
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,279
I'll get her to DM you.
400
00:22:11,810 --> 00:22:13,632
Did you invite my ex-boyfriend
401
00:22:13,732 --> 00:22:16,955
to my non-consensual birthday party
for a business meeting?
402
00:22:17,055 --> 00:22:19,698
Did you open the door to the rat hotel?
403
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:24,102
Cancel each other out?
404
00:22:24,583 --> 00:22:26,585
Yeah.
405
00:22:30,389 --> 00:22:32,451
The rats told me I'm past it.
406
00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:36,615
Can you believe that?
You don't know me!
407
00:22:36,715 --> 00:22:38,256
Great party, girls.
408
00:22:38,356 --> 00:22:42,220
[slurred shouting]
409
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,425
- Jay's selling the bar.
- That's what he thinks.
410
00:22:46,525 --> 00:22:49,227
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because I'll fix it.
411
00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:51,350
I always fix it. I fix problems.
412
00:22:51,450 --> 00:22:53,492
And you... have them.
413
00:22:58,737 --> 00:23:00,158
Great party, right?
414
00:23:00,258 --> 00:23:03,702
Oh, yeah,
one for the Facebook album.
415
00:23:04,983 --> 00:23:07,686
♪ Life of the party
You're outta body ♪
416
00:23:07,786 --> 00:23:11,049
♪ Got hands in your heart
And hearts in your hallway ♪
417
00:23:11,149 --> 00:23:13,572
♪ Fairly certain I'm important ♪
418
00:23:13,672 --> 00:23:16,855
♪ I've an arm and a leg in the doorway ♪
419
00:23:16,955 --> 00:23:21,660
♪ What's the point?
Give it up, you're outta your head ♪
420
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:26,445
♪ Now you're old enough
Aching joints give you up ♪