1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,926 ‎好的,各位,過來吧,這是給你們的 2 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,887 ‎-我們沒準備東西給你 ‎-我有 3 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:17,267 ‎就是一些我覺得你能用的東西 ‎還有一些好玩的東西 4 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:21,855 ‎-很抱歉她真是個爛朋友 ‎-不是禮物,是工作 5 00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:25,275 ‎你們今天要做促銷展示 ‎我需要你們一起完成 6 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:26,276 ‎我現在明白了 7 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,696 ‎我要承認有時候我利用說謊 ‎當作生存之道 8 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:35,160 ‎-看來有人今晚有計畫喔 ‎-天啊,妳要競選審計官嗎? 9 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:37,454 ‎他們要把店面變成 ‎HR布洛克稅務服務公司 10 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,456 ‎她是新老闆 11 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,750 ‎並不是,這是面試用的 12 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:45,378 ‎我要去應徵 ‎全天候汽車租賃公司的傳訊主管 13 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,589 ‎這位特別的傢伙值得改變 14 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:50,800 ‎-妳是特別的人? ‎-這是自己人的笑話 15 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,302 ‎-堤米懂的 ‎-是啊 16 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,720 ‎特別傢伙日 17 00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:55,263 ‎只是妳取笑它 18 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:57,932 ‎我沒料到會成為妳的口頭禪 19 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,518 ‎像是“忙碌” ‎或是“生活、歡笑、歡笑” 20 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,646 ‎我不知道妳的履歷還有人看 21 00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:05,982 ‎紙質很棒 22 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,401 ‎跟玻璃底船一樣光滑 23 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,070 ‎謝謝 24 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:12,864 ‎我決定將舊履歷表稍微修飾一下 25 00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,699 ‎然後印50份 26 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:18,453 ‎然後才發現大部分的主顧 ‎都希望收到電子式履歷 27 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:20,205 ‎企劃背景? 28 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,832 ‎-記帳員? ‎-全球銷售總監 29 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,709 ‎這裡面任何一項妳都沒做過 30 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:28,963 ‎跟妳說一聲 ‎在2015年時,我有自己的事業 31 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,716 ‎在我明白它是老鼠會之前 32 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,719 ‎技術上來說,我是全球銷售總監 33 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,138 ‎我得運一箱精油到加拿大 34 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,015 ‎好啦,我加油添醋了一點 35 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,268 ‎但履歷表上只有一個點很重要 36 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,729 ‎-哈佛 ‎-這倒是 37 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,857 ‎-恭喜妳獲得面試機會 ‎-第二次面試 38 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:51,361 ‎我已經見過雇用經理 ‎現在要跟老闆見面 39 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,779 ‎基本上就是形式上見個面 40 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:56,866 ‎我聽說他們都會當場雇人,所以… 41 00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,120 ‎如果我沒回來,我不是被綁架 42 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:03,164 ‎我只是進入了我的碧昂絲單飛時期 43 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,042 ‎妳早就老到綁匪都看不上眼了 44 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,462 ‎如果妳有錢或是貌美 ‎情況也許會不同 45 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,757 ‎妳是很美 ‎但以妳的年紀,得是11分等級的美 46 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,968 ‎才能吸引綁匪的興趣 47 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:18,888 ‎我去把我的西裝掛起來 48 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,348 ‎NETFLIX 影集 49 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,149 ‎雪帽放在多力多滋旁邊? 50 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:32,443 ‎不,雪帽要放在花生糖跟糖寶寶旁邊 51 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:36,739 ‎你要顧客感覺像是來看電影 ‎不是到卡車休息站 52 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,576 ‎-損害報告在這 ‎-唐娜 53 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:42,704 ‎我一直要告訴妳 ‎我今天不夠支付銀行費用 54 00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,831 ‎但我下週會付給妳 55 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,166 ‎-下週 ‎-是的 56 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:50,336 ‎親愛的,太陽風暴就要來了 ‎也許沒有下週了 57 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,088 ‎-馬克,裝箱 ‎-好 58 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,215 ‎-別在今天… ‎-快點 59 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:57,177 ‎-我們還有五家菸酒店要去 ‎-抱歉 60 00:02:57,260 --> 00:03:00,013 ‎要拯救這段婚姻 ‎說“抱歉”是不夠的 61 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:03,391 ‎親愛的,可以幫個忙嗎? ‎不想,好,我可以 62 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:04,309 ‎我沒問題 63 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:08,396 ‎好,我們要替《頂針2:拇指大戰》 ‎搭展示架 64 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:12,108 ‎述說一個鄉村頂針,艾瑪史東 65 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,653 ‎在比利波特大城市 ‎尋找她理想拇指的可愛故事 66 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:19,115 ‎所以比利波特扮演城市 67 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,576 ‎把拇指塞進頂針 ‎然後頂針就會開始說話並發光 68 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:24,829 ‎我還以為展示架是實體大小的看板 69 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,164 ‎我們這裡所看到的 70 00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:29,709 ‎是我們業界所謂的巨大拼圖 71 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:34,047 ‎算妳好運,妳跟康妮瑟拉諾 ‎拼圖皇后博士一組 72 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:38,176 ‎沒想到在我面前的竟是皇后兼博士 73 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:41,763 ‎我媽說我天生眼光銳利 ‎並且有厲害的拼圖巧手 74 00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:44,807 ‎關鍵在於組織與過程 75 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:48,019 ‎只要所有的拼圖碎片井然有序… 76 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,814 ‎哇,這突然出現 77 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:55,318 ‎妳走過來撞倒這動也不動的東西 78 00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:59,072 ‎雷根糖,我幫妳買了妳最喜歡的 79 00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:03,034 ‎芒果驚喜冰沙 ‎驚喜的部分是冷凍芒果 80 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:05,078 ‎我沒時間喝冰沙 81 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,163 ‎什麼?這是忙碌生活的完美餐點 82 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,915 ‎就算妳的吸管掉了 83 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:11,501 ‎妳還可以拿玉米片挖起來 84 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,087 ‎妳爸就是這樣發明芒果莎莎醬的 85 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,094 ‎冰沙被取消了嗎?一口冰沙店的蓋瑞 86 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,763 ‎又被抓到讓動物騎獨輪車的醜聞? 87 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,974 ‎又來了?那些可憐的浣熊 88 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:28,309 ‎那些浣熊可是有冰沙吃 89 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,560 ‎那可是很好的差事耶 90 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,521 ‎好吧,我喝兩杯 91 00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:36,818 ‎妳覺得凱拉更“凱拉”了嗎? 92 00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,194 ‎也許她發情了 93 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,531 ‎那是我從網路上看見的說法 94 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,034 ‎-堤米 ‎-嗨 95 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,328 ‎一包多利多滋以及一盒雪帽 96 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,496 ‎聽起來不錯 97 00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:52,792 ‎好的,是這樣的 ‎我們通常都會賣點心給你們對吧? 98 00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:56,796 ‎今天有點不一樣 ‎我們沒有點心可以賣你們 99 00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:59,465 ‎哇,那你還好意思稱這裡是餐廳? 100 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,968 ‎看來要找我爸做午餐了 101 00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:03,386 ‎-走吧 ‎-等等 102 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:06,556 ‎我剛想起來,我們有一箱糖果 103 00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,349 ‎我想你們會喜歡,好的 104 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,517 ‎別走開 105 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:15,523 ‎(新興製片獎學金,感謝您的申請) 106 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:16,482 ‎-卡洛斯? ‎-什麼事? 107 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,610 ‎-《頂針2》的促銷糖果呢? ‎-在那裡 108 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,779 ‎我覺得他們考慮得不是很周詳 109 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,283 ‎這是部兒童電影 ‎但這看起來像被切斷的手指 110 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:28,494 ‎看起來像縫紉機爆炸的殘骸 111 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:29,954 ‎我要拿來賣 112 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,582 ‎這該是送給租《頂針2》的人 ‎的免費贈品 113 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,876 ‎賣促銷品不是違反政策嗎? 114 00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:38,087 ‎母公司企業的政策 ‎但現在我是老闆,我有解決方法 115 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,424 ‎就算我把我的最佳員工 ‎輸給了汽車租賃公司 116 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:45,178 ‎卡洛斯,你也是我的最佳員工 ‎可以有兩個最佳員工 117 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:47,972 ‎我知道你對伊萊莎的感情 118 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:51,059 ‎感情?什麼感情? ‎我現在跟莉娜在一起 119 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:54,479 ‎雖然我們沒有真正定義感情 ‎如果她是我女友,我肯定很開心 120 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,564 ‎等等,我這年紀的人都這樣說嗎? 121 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,566 ‎不想繼續這個話題 122 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,280 ‎伊萊莎人呢? 123 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,081 ‎抱歉,我沒事先問 124 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,792 ‎我本來想做些放鬆運動 125 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,628 ‎而且沒想到呼吸會這麼大聲 126 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:21,130 ‎沒事,我知道妳沒吃東西 127 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:22,673 ‎謝謝 128 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,511 ‎刻在夏威夷豆上的是巨石強森嗎? 129 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:29,806 ‎是啊,我找到一些促銷糖果 ‎這是《野蠻遊戲2》的叢林藤蔓 130 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,392 ‎堅果跟燕麥包著水果果凍餡 131 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:35,061 ‎妳會喜歡的 ‎基本上是健康版的長條呆子糖 132 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,939 ‎你覺得我新的老闆要多久 ‎才會知道我最喜歡的點心? 133 00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:39,357 ‎一定很快,妳很敢說 134 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:47,323 ‎我無法想像沒有妳的百視達 ‎但向前看很重要 135 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:49,617 ‎是啊 136 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,078 ‎我敢說艾倫肯定很興奮 137 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:55,540 ‎妳可以記下租賓士車的人 ‎會是未來公寓潛在買家 138 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,667 ‎你們是夫妻,所以不算內線交易 139 00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:58,960 ‎他不知道 140 00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:01,921 ‎我想告訴他,但他非常投入 141 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:06,717 ‎選秀王的東西,我沒機會說話 142 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:08,845 ‎對啊 143 00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,681 ‎我敢說妳跟他說的時候 144 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,142 ‎他肯定會比我為妳還激動 145 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,518 ‎激動到妳會說 146 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:18,771 ‎“艾倫,你太激動了 ‎你嗑古柯鹼了嗎?” 147 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,441 ‎我還是回去工作吧 148 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,487 ‎你介意關門嗎?我想練習說 149 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,948 ‎我如何在職上處理衝突的說詞 150 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,325 ‎-當然 ‎-謝謝 151 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,459 ‎好的,聽好了 152 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,962 ‎不論是拼圖、紙鈔或是摺衣服都沒差 153 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:47,925 ‎-首先就是得先整理歸類 ‎-但所有的拼圖圖片都是灰色 154 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,553 ‎上帝,我知道祢把最大的挑戰 155 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,430 ‎保留給祢最強的拼圖王… 156 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:57,351 ‎-為什麼這麼吵? ‎-如果妳沒上班,幹嘛不回家去? 157 00:07:57,435 --> 00:08:00,438 ‎我煩人的老媽在那裡 ‎她滿腦子都是我 158 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,023 ‎像是“妳今天好嗎?” 159 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,609 ‎然後在我抖音上貼星眼表情貼圖 160 00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:07,236 ‎那是最迷戀的表情貼圖 161 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,864 ‎所以我才試著替自己找間公寓 162 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:14,702 ‎妳們知道我們有傳真機嗎? ‎還有什麼是傳真機? 163 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:15,786 ‎公寓? 164 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,122 ‎我通常只保留給純種貓 165 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:21,042 ‎但,哈囉,傲驕小姐 166 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,752 ‎妳確定妳準備好了嗎? 167 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,795 ‎自己住可是件大事 168 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:28,508 ‎我的孩子以為他們準備好了 ‎直到他們發現得自己洗碗 169 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,552 ‎得洗衣服,得自己洗澡 170 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,972 ‎這間公寓很棒,所有雜費都包 171 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,808 ‎除了週末郵件,真的很煩 172 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,937 ‎不如我們其中一人陪妳去看看吧? 173 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,690 ‎對啊,聽起來很怪 ‎所有的公寓都有週末郵件 174 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,777 ‎郵局就是要妳這樣以為的 175 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,947 ‎我覺得伊萊莎適合百視達工作 176 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,950 ‎但我也覺得她能勝任 ‎全天候汽車租賃的職位 177 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:57,870 ‎我知道這表示很多 ‎當然,她處理我們的會計事務 178 00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:00,706 ‎但老實說,我覺得 ‎她比較像我們的財務長 179 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,834 ‎我對她的精油公司了解不多 180 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,254 ‎但我記得那是間國際公司 181 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,673 ‎聽著,伊萊莎真的很棒 182 00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,967 ‎她是這裡的支柱 183 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:14,345 ‎我不知道沒有她,我要怎麼管理 184 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:18,474 ‎你只想確認她目前在百視達工作? 185 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,395 ‎是的,我說到忘我了 ‎抱歉耽誤你的時間 186 00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:23,312 ‎愛你喔 187 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,816 ‎-該死,我又這樣了 ‎-謝謝你,堤姆 188 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:30,194 ‎真的很貼心 ‎只是聽起來有點稍微瘋狂 189 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,738 ‎-每句都是真心話 ‎-連說你愛他們都是嗎? 190 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:36,826 ‎很難說,在那通電話裡 ‎我們真的建立了融洽的關係 191 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,452 ‎總之,祝妳好運 192 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:41,122 ‎如果我想離開這個鬼地方 ‎我就會需要好運,對嗎? 193 00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,666 ‎很好笑,因為蠻傷人的 194 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,209 ‎我一生都奉獻在這鬼地方 195 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,712 ‎-抱歉,我只是開玩笑 ‎-我知道 196 00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:52,216 ‎妳什麼時候要上 ‎哈哈提傑歡樂館當主秀? 197 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:54,343 ‎對喔,那場火 198 00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:57,138 ‎(百視達) 199 00:09:57,221 --> 00:10:01,392 ‎紅線穿過綠線 200 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:03,728 ‎-她這個拼了多久? ‎-好幾個小時了 201 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,314 ‎她甚至說她穿了拼圖尿褲 202 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:07,773 ‎告訴我這是個笑話 203 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,318 ‎-把你的拇指伸進我玩拇指樂 ‎-太好了 204 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,945 ‎把你的拇指伸進我… 205 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,739 ‎玩拇指樂…樂 206 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:19,535 ‎我看妳一直搞不定,介意我接手嗎? 207 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,455 ‎你再敢碰我的拼圖,我就把你踢回 208 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:24,624 ‎你出生的沃爾瑪停車場 209 00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:34,800 ‎所以非百視達員工請離開這塊區域 210 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,724 ‎哈囖,小子 211 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:42,767 ‎我們有這些 212 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:47,229 ‎還有一些《神秘河流》的甘草糖 ‎跟幾盒《肥皂拼盤》的晚餐薄荷糖 213 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:51,150 ‎-我只要《愛在黎明破曉時》的軟糖 ‎-我也想試試看 214 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:53,486 ‎這真的掌握到茱莉蝶兒的精髓 215 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:54,779 ‎嘿 216 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:59,033 ‎我還以為妳會忙著出租福特嘉年華 217 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,910 ‎而沒這麼快就來慶祝 218 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,954 ‎-是啊,我沒接受那份工作 ‎-真的嗎? 219 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,332 ‎但妳都準備好往前看了 220 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:09,585 ‎本來是,但後來我偷聽到 ‎你對我美言背書 221 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:13,130 ‎讓我明白我是這裡的支柱 222 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,966 ‎但這似乎是個很好的機會 223 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:20,262 ‎你忘記封街派對了嗎? ‎還有盤點?你需要我 224 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,473 ‎那個公司營運健全 225 00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:26,185 ‎百視達是我能創造最大影響的地方 226 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:30,106 ‎很難取代我在這裡工作 ‎所帶來的意義與滿足 227 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:31,649 ‎-不好意思? ‎-什麼事? 228 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:35,820 ‎有個手指發光,穿得像女人的 ‎外太空怪咖電影叫什麼? 229 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:37,405 ‎-《外星人ET》 ‎-不,另一部 230 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:41,367 ‎-另一部? ‎-我幹嘛問你們這些白癡? 231 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:46,956 ‎如我所說,有意義與滿足 232 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:53,003 ‎天啊,我為她的工作背書 ‎是為了協助她拿到工作 233 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,047 ‎我沒想到這會讓她走偏 234 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:58,634 ‎她是百視達的支柱 ‎但她是需要多元發展的支柱 235 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,929 ‎我不能讓她放棄 ‎成為別人的支柱的機會 236 00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:02,847 ‎我該怎麼辦? 237 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,516 ‎我不知道,電影裡他們都怎麼做? 238 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:08,853 ‎去機場阻止人離開的 ‎相反方式是什麼? 239 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,730 ‎把你踢出家門 240 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:14,442 ‎說:“艾瑞克,別抽這麼多大麻 ‎快找回你安永會計師事務所的工作” 241 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:17,862 ‎我需要說服她離開 ‎抱歉,我得把這件事處理好 242 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,160 ‎-他居然聽我們的,太詭異了 ‎-是吧? 243 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,706 ‎我買了間公寓 ‎我等不及自己一個人住了 244 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:32,710 ‎妳要自己一個人住?一個青少年? ‎而我這個成年人卻有三位室友? 245 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,462 ‎自己一個人住聽起來真令人嚮往 246 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:38,883 ‎妳想張贴多少 ‎傑西泰勒弗格森的照片都行 247 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:39,842 ‎沒錯 248 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:43,596 ‎我去西聯匯了100元預付款 249 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,098 ‎終於可以看那間公寓了 250 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,392 ‎等等,100元預付款? 251 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,687 ‎付錢看公寓不太正常 252 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,982 ‎不,很多地方現在都需要預付款 253 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:57,276 ‎-我的房東跟我說的 ‎-聽起來不對勁 254 00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,861 ‎我們只是替妳著想而已 255 00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,780 ‎我不會讓一些嫉妒的討厭鬼 256 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,782 ‎阻止我得到這麼酷的地方 257 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,326 ‎技術上來說 ‎那裡有兩個不同的郵遞區號 258 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,538 ‎你得跟凱拉談談 259 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,124 ‎她想租一間公寓 ‎但我們覺得那是詐騙 260 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:15,211 ‎-我們試著阻止她 ‎-沒有很用力,因為我們怕她 261 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:18,506 ‎凱拉叫你們來的嗎? 262 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:22,343 ‎她躲在某處偷拍我嗎? ‎凱拉,妳在哪裡? 263 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:25,763 ‎-妳又想在網路瘋傳了? ‎-不,這很嚴肅 264 00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:31,852 ‎這是我表現的時刻,凱拉需要我 265 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,897 ‎我得幫助我的寶貝女兒 266 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,778 ‎我就在這裡等 267 00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:43,781 ‎看看有沒有人要恭維我的教養方式 268 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,992 ‎好吧,我走了 269 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,869 ‎好,凱拉,爹地來了 270 00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,789 ‎做父親的永遠停不下來 271 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,376 ‎有人要吃完他的薯條嗎? 272 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,753 ‎(全天候汽車租賃) 273 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,342 ‎我想跟在這裡說了算的人談談 274 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,719 ‎(顧客說了算) 275 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,680 ‎我想跟老闆談談 276 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,519 ‎嗨,安卓雅,有人要找妳 277 00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:17,314 ‎不知道,我問問 ‎你不是臉書市場的人吧? 278 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,692 ‎她說蓮蓬頭的狀況就是那樣 279 00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:23,070 ‎他說不是,他可能在說謊 ‎但我覺得可以相信他 280 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:25,406 ‎-所以,我該…? ‎-喔,安卓雅? 281 00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,783 ‎我需要跟妳談談伊萊莎沃克 282 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:31,036 ‎她考慮不要這份職缺 ‎妳得努力爭取她 283 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:35,124 ‎我們沒給她這份工作 ‎相信我,她求了我們 284 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,668 ‎她不想回去好萊塢影片 285 00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:39,295 ‎-是百視達 ‎-抱歉 286 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,714 ‎我搞混了,因為她把那裡說成 287 00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:44,300 ‎1990年代零售業地獄的腐屍 288 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:47,678 ‎-真的嗎?不是說笑的? ‎-不是 289 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:50,598 ‎我剛才碰到她 ‎她說妳給她這份工作了 290 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,349 ‎就我從她的履歷表上看來 291 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,476 ‎我感覺伊萊莎可能說得天花亂墜 292 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,394 ‎整個亂七八糟 293 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:58,188 ‎我請她來的唯一原因 ‎是想看看她是否是真的 294 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:02,234 ‎-她還說她唸過哈佛 ‎-那部分倒是真的 295 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:05,321 ‎很不幸她並非如此表現的 296 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,281 ‎請隨意拿隻筆 297 00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:10,200 ‎當你翻過來時,賽百靈會變成敞篷車 298 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:13,037 ‎我不敢相信她居然抨擊百視達 ‎而且還騙我 299 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,455 ‎好喔,再見 300 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,085 ‎(出租) 301 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:22,880 ‎怎麼回事? 302 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,840 ‎我以為我知道我在幹什麼,但是… 303 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:26,759 ‎我被詐騙了,爹地 304 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:30,471 ‎抱一個 305 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:34,266 ‎過來,我知道,抱一個,快 306 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,227 ‎我們一起處理 307 00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,564 ‎這個大概要什麼時候才能完成? 308 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,650 ‎我想第一個把拇指伸進去 309 00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,277 ‎我會後悔這麼問,但為什麼? 310 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:48,781 ‎搶頭香可是頂針迷超榮譽的事情 311 00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:51,325 ‎拼圖要我說拼好了才算好 312 00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:54,703 ‎我早上請假,但我得回腫瘤科 313 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,040 ‎-你是腫瘤科醫師? ‎-頂針迷遍布每個行業 314 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:01,835 ‎這麼說吧,白宮裡也有頂針迷 315 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:05,255 ‎天啊,你…去那裡等我們完成吧 316 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,840 ‎我們需要空間 317 00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,133 ‎把東西蓋好 318 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:12,012 ‎別擔心,我可以的 319 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:16,100 ‎我們越快完成,那變態越快離開 320 00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:17,142 ‎我聽見了喔 321 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:19,478 ‎妳沒說錯 322 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,313 ‎我討厭他 323 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,149 ‎(百視達) 324 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,569 ‎妳要放棄一個有健保 ‎牙齒醫療保險、眼睛… 325 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,655 ‎-別忘了休假還有錢領 ‎-對 326 00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,949 ‎健康的工作生活平衡非常重要 327 00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,701 ‎-為了這個? ‎-對 328 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,786 ‎有些東西比健康福利 329 00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:38,872 ‎以及升遷還重要 330 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:42,376 ‎再說,你們都得靠我 ‎而且我喜歡這裡 331 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:44,420 ‎這倒是有意思了 332 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:48,465 ‎因為我剛才去了全天候汽車租賃 ‎聽到非常不同的版本 333 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,968 ‎你們不會相信我的談話內容 334 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,178 ‎除了她,你還有什麼好說的? 335 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,264 ‎我相信他們用控制她的 336 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,766 ‎臨機應變割喉協商招數對付堤米 337 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,602 ‎伊萊莎跟我們說了 ‎希望你沒斷了太多自己的後路 338 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,604 ‎也許你可以幫我說句好話? 339 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:07,109 ‎我不確定伊萊莎在全天候汽車租賃 ‎有那種本事 340 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,694 ‎但我又懂什麼呢? 341 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,529 ‎我只是在零售業地獄工作 342 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,656 ‎你跟安卓雅談過了 343 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,741 ‎當然 344 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:16,076 ‎好,我可以解釋 345 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:25,127 ‎實際情況是 ‎在外工作很不容易,而且… 346 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:29,048 ‎我以為我可以就這樣重返職場 347 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,259 ‎但我…聽著,我不值得… 348 00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:35,054 ‎他們給妳的薪資 349 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,681 ‎不,妳值得更多 350 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,683 ‎所以我才拼了老命 351 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,061 ‎別讓他們把我的最佳員工獵走 352 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:46,648 ‎他們本來要給妳新的薪資 ‎讓妳改變心意,但我出暗招 353 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:51,445 ‎我跟他們說妳會這麼說 ‎伊萊莎,拜託 354 00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:55,449 ‎妳需要留在百視達 ‎妳的薪資我會加倍 355 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,284 ‎加倍?真的? 356 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:59,203 ‎也許不是加倍,但總是得加 ‎三倍好了 357 00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,288 ‎這比雙倍還多,我們會想出辦法 358 00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,707 ‎等等,你確定嗎? ‎你都快付不出我們的薪水了 359 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,793 ‎這聽起來只是心意而已吧 360 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,795 ‎你聽見他說的了,我們會想出辦法 361 00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:10,255 ‎-所以伊萊莎要留下來了? ‎-是的,她留下來了 362 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,800 ‎如果她想的話,這裡不是集中營 363 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:16,136 ‎感謝老天,沒有妳堤米大概會崩潰吧 364 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,304 ‎這倒是真的 365 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:20,974 ‎今天點心補給的問題 ‎我解決的不錯,我應該… 366 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,352 ‎這糖害我牙齒斷了 367 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:24,269 ‎什麼? 368 00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:28,607 ‎“《八月心風暴》玉米糖” 369 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:31,276 ‎很棒的戲劇,但就該到此結束 370 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,611 ‎這我花錢買的勒 371 00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,655 ‎-不 ‎-你還要吃? 372 00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,115 ‎-不 ‎-拜託不要 373 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,909 ‎-你不需要… ‎-好,好吧 374 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:44,248 ‎我知道事情不對勁,妳總是忽視我 375 00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:48,043 ‎但我沒見過妳忽視芒果 ‎妳為何需要公寓? 376 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,462 ‎老媽老是盯著我,全天候 377 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,630 ‎香娜就是這副德性 378 00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,799 ‎“多喝水,別清晨2點才睡 379 00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:56,135 ‎別為《矇上你的眼》挑戰 ‎矇眼開車” 380 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,095 ‎“別把糖果包裝紙丟在床頭櫃 381 00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,429 ‎別再買沙灘車 382 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:02,307 ‎別再帶流浪狗回家了,那是郊狼 383 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,227 ‎你連狗跟郊狼都分不清楚嗎?” 384 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:09,106 ‎她總是監督我 ‎我無法活在被監督之下 385 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:11,066 ‎是,我懂 386 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,610 ‎我不想出賣妳媽,但是… 387 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:17,531 ‎但不管妳信不信,妳媽只是在照顧妳 388 00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:20,409 ‎確保妳安全,做母親該做的事 389 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,996 ‎但如果妳覺得受不了 ‎需要離開她一下 390 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:27,207 ‎跟我一樣,妳可以來跟我住 391 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,209 ‎-可以嗎? ‎-可以 392 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,713 ‎-你的郊狼討厭我 ‎-克里斯幾個月前就跑了 393 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:36,550 ‎我不知道牠有什麼問題 ‎我只是說:“我的食物,你的食物” 394 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:37,593 ‎牠覺得被冒犯 395 00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,680 ‎牠是個很不錯的朋友,聽著 396 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:45,934 ‎我是妳爸,我一直都希望妳在身邊 397 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,103 ‎妳知道我最棒的日子是什麼嗎? 398 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:52,900 ‎我最棒的日子是妳工作時 ‎我有機會跟妳相處 399 00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,861 ‎-好,沒必要飢渴,柏希 ‎-好 400 00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:00,073 ‎-我今晚能睡你那裡嗎? ‎-讓我想想 401 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,619 ‎好,妳今晚可以睡我那裡 402 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:08,665 ‎聽著,被詐騙沒什麼好丟臉的 403 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:11,877 ‎這表示妳相信人,妳有顆信任人的心 404 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:15,297 ‎相信我,妳老爸被詐騙超多次 405 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,466 ‎都快打破被詐騙次數最多的 406 00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:20,260 ‎金氏世界紀錄 407 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,804 ‎結果,那也是詐騙 408 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:28,894 ‎-我成功了,好完美 ‎-把你的拇指伸進我玩拇指樂 409 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:38,070 ‎大部分是靠膠帶跟希望黏起來 ‎但妳完成了 410 00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:41,365 ‎-不需要這麼沒禮貌 ‎-終於,可以該我了嗎? 411 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:45,327 ‎我沒見到你之前 ‎就能聞到你的味道,混蛋 412 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:50,249 ‎而且如果有能誰先把拇指伸進去 ‎那一定是我 413 00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,166 ‎不 414 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:55,254 ‎我尋找我的理想拇指 415 00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,047 ‎我一直尋找… 416 00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,132 ‎原本的聲音該是這樣嗎? 417 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:00,759 ‎頂針夾住我了 418 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,638 ‎-夾住我了,救命! ‎-妳不是理想拇指 419 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:08,058 ‎不,頂針威爾,放開她 420 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,435 ‎-不,用力拉! ‎-救命! 421 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:11,895 ‎(拇指由此進入) 422 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,188 ‎用力拉 423 00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:23,657 ‎你們這群怪物 424 00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:29,997 ‎康妮,妹子 425 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,457 ‎我也許有點失控了 426 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,503 ‎-這裡究竟是怎麼一回事? ‎-就只是… 427 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:40,090 ‎從小到大,我姊姊學業成績優秀 428 00:21:40,173 --> 00:21:45,512 ‎我哥哥棒球很厲害,而我很會拼圖 429 00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:49,057 ‎我想我擔心我失去我擅長的了 430 00:21:50,350 --> 00:21:53,895 ‎首先,根據妳跟我們說妳姊姊的事情 431 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:56,064 ‎她的際遇其實不怎麼好 432 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,983 ‎她現在的確只有一位先生了 433 00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:00,652 ‎而且妳沒有失去妳的拼圖功力 434 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:03,989 ‎就算妳失去了 ‎妳還有很多擅長的事情 435 00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:07,701 ‎在我們之中 ‎只有妳知道如何護貝會員卡 436 00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:10,537 ‎而且妳阻止了那個霸凌我們的女孩 437 00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:14,541 ‎還有妳阿爾巴尼亞話很流利 ‎而且謙虛到不願告訴我們原因 438 00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:17,794 ‎各位,你們真貼心 439 00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:22,758 ‎很棒 440 00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:24,634 ‎(百視達) 441 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,599 ‎-妳不需要幫我這個忙 ‎-什麼?我當然需要 442 00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:34,436 ‎-我是這裡的支柱,記得嗎? ‎-我怎麼會忘記? 443 00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:37,230 ‎這個“1990年代零售業地獄的腐屍” 444 00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:38,148 ‎沒錯 445 00:22:38,231 --> 00:22:40,817 ‎抱歉,我不是有意要這麼說的 446 00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:43,362 ‎我真的很想要那份工作 447 00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:46,198 ‎我想我太緊張,沖昏了頭 448 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:52,287 ‎但你知道,我習慣照顧別人 449 00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:55,916 ‎偶爾有人罩我還真不錯 450 00:22:55,999 --> 00:22:57,501 ‎這是妳該得的 451 00:22:58,502 --> 00:23:02,672 ‎艾倫覺得他很照顧我 ‎但他本性不是這樣 452 00:23:04,299 --> 00:23:07,636 ‎-莉娜很幸運有你 ‎-是啊,當然 453 00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:10,472 ‎我們只是一起出去而已,當然她很棒 454 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:15,352 ‎我在想我們那天 455 00:23:15,435 --> 00:23:17,896 ‎發現這是最後一家百視達時 ‎妳所說的話 456 00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:20,899 ‎也許這不只是出租電影的門市 457 00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:22,109 ‎大家在此相聚 458 00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:25,153 ‎我們提供了一個 ‎沒有任何地方能夠提供的體驗 459 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,989 ‎很特別 ‎我們得分享這件事,妳知道嗎? 460 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:28,907 ‎辦活動 461 00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:31,535 ‎甚至是聖誕節的活動 ‎弄一些假期老電影 462 00:23:31,618 --> 00:23:34,996 ‎像是淒涼版的小動漫展? 463 00:23:35,872 --> 00:23:37,374 ‎我想妳有意見吧 464 00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:38,917 ‎沒有 465 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,337 ‎今天過後,我完全支持你的想法 466 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:45,132 ‎但別跟過期點心食品扯上關係就好 467 00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:48,135 ‎我很高興,因為我還在思考 468 00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:52,639 ‎也許這是妳身為副理的 ‎第一道商業命令? 469 00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:57,102 ‎同樣待遇卻更多責任? 470 00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:59,604 ‎我喜歡,算我一份吧 471 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,943 ‎浣熊? 472 00:24:05,026 --> 00:24:06,862 ‎或是頂針恰吉 473 00:24:07,487 --> 00:24:09,948 ‎把你的拇指伸進我玩拇指樂 474 00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:14,411 ‎把你的拇指伸進我玩拇指樂 475 00:24:58,371 --> 00:25:00,874 ‎字幕翻譯: 王問僧