1
00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:11,094
‎艾倫今年拿到不少獎金
‎所以他登上看板

2
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,387
‎（艾倫沃克）

3
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:15,098
‎“我知道你住在哪裡？”
‎妳先生是個變態吧

4
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:19,185
‎我建議要拿下那句標語
‎但他很高興最後沒動

5
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:23,898
‎他覺得超有記憶點
‎能夠讓業績蒸蒸日上

6
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,233
‎我覺得很聰明

7
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:28,069
‎但他該放在全市各個高點

8
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:31,114
‎人越高，我越相信他們

9
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,825
‎我覺得他有更大的事情要擔心

10
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,660
‎像是有人會在上面畫小雞雞

11
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,955
‎已經發生了，我是在清理的空檔拍的

12
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,709
‎這麼說吧，外生殖器可是五花八門

13
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,586
‎跟我的小朋友打招呼吧

14
00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:46,588
‎-不
‎-抱歉

15
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:51,134
‎-肯定是忘記鎖了
‎-那是什麼？

16
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:55,013
‎-現金，鈔票
‎-在他開始饒舌之前，我先走一步

17
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,264
‎她非常了解我

18
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:58,058
‎這是一筆小額現金

19
00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:01,352
‎因為我一直有在記帳

20
00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:04,314
‎-我們有盈餘了
‎-真的？

21
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:08,735
‎我以為要賺到未雨綢繆的資金

22
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:12,197
‎或是足夠下錢雨的錢還要超久！

23
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,406
‎沒錯

24
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,827
‎我來清理，抱歉

25
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:19,996
‎NETFLIX 影集

26
00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:27,587
‎叩叩

27
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,756
‎門從來就不是這麼敲的

28
00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:32,717
‎我今天早上兌現了我最後四張支票

29
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:36,471
‎妳放錯地方，還是妳之前忘記了
‎怎麼會有四張？

30
00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:38,973
‎-為什麼是今天？
‎-我向來如此

31
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:42,811
‎我一個月只開一次車去銀行
‎一年就能省三元

32
00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,272
‎學到這件事還挺不錯的

33
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:49,734
‎我需要妳一拿到支票就存入

34
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,111
‎這感覺很奇怪

35
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:54,364
‎看來雨天來得比我想得快了

36
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,658
‎失陪，我得打電話給銀行

37
00:01:56,741 --> 00:02:00,286
‎妳知道可以用手機存入支票吧？

38
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,871
‎手機費率更花錢

39
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,498
‎你可以直接付我硬幣

40
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:04,624
‎這樣保存更久

41
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:08,336
‎因為太陽風暴會讓我們最後
‎只能拿貴重金屬來交易

42
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,922
‎妳不能再繼續聽妳爸的卡車廣播了

43
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,133
‎才不！我們都遵守道路規則

44
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,343
‎很高興我們進行這段談話

45
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:17,512
‎如果妳想回顧安迪瑟克斯的作品

46
00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:21,391
‎我會先從《30姑娘一朵花》開始
‎再看《魔戒》

47
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,726
‎他真的改變了他的小小身體

48
00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:28,189
‎抱歉，我在找亞當山德勒那一部
‎他穿了誰的鞋就會變成那個人的電影

49
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:30,817
‎好，那是《命運鞋…，不

50
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:36,072
‎我待會再解釋《空中監獄》的劇情

51
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:45,748
‎-那是艾倫的愛倫，對嗎？
‎-對，女愛倫

52
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:49,502
‎我練習無數次我要對她說的話

53
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,963
‎然後我卻…整個僵住

54
00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:54,674
‎我就知道我見過那張蠢臉

55
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:57,343
‎在“成為你自己道路引導之光”
‎的枕頭旁

56
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,220
‎猜猜怎麼著，妳這破壞家庭的人？

57
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,307
‎不用成為瑜珈大師才能做到下犬式

58
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,350
‎別再上傳照片了！

59
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,228
‎妳追蹤她的臉書？

60
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,106
‎自從妳跟我說艾倫跟她上床後
‎我就一直追蹤她

61
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,693
‎如果我家勞爾偷吃，我會死

62
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:18,573
‎-我永遠支持妳，女孩
‎-謝謝

63
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,702
‎我開了個假帳號追蹤她

64
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:26,456
‎過去六個月
‎我檢舉她所有上傳的內容

65
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:30,543
‎往好處想，妳比她老得多也聰明得多

66
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,421
‎-什麼？
‎-我是李尹比柏

67
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:36,549
‎替休假的瑞吉娜羅森丘奇代班

68
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:40,220
‎今天的頭條是數位世紀的風暴

69
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:43,306
‎專家說太陽風暴馬上就要來襲

70
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:46,809
‎並且網路服務會停擺不知為期多久

71
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:50,230
‎對，沒錯，一個沒有網路的世界

72
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:54,901
‎馬克祖克柏會化成灰嗎？
‎風暴的事妳爸也許說得對

73
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:58,029
‎他對大自然災難的準確度約莫在六成

74
00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:02,158
‎但他顯然看不出
‎他對我所製造出來的災難

75
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,661
‎他停車又壓到松鼠了嗎？

76
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,955
‎我準備要申請社區大學

77
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:11,042
‎所有文件都準備好了
‎本來會是我的艾兒伍茲時刻

78
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,628
‎我甚至提交領養吉娃娃的文件

79
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,088
‎愛妳，可以直接說重點嗎？

80
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:19,259
‎結果，我健忘的老爸
‎沒有申請我在家自學的文件

81
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,302
‎我得告訴吉娃娃跟救援美少女團

82
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,973
‎我沒辦法領養那隻狗
‎因為我沒有高中畢業證書

83
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,433
‎這本來是我唯一可以炫耀的事

84
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,185
‎妳有很多值得驕傲的事

85
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,230
‎比如說？我黑帶五段？對，卡洛斯

86
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:36,317
‎大家還真的很驚訝
‎我奉獻我大半輩子投入空手道武術

87
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,861
‎肯定還有能夠讓妳註冊入學的方法

88
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:42,282
‎如果我通過分級考試
‎就能夠註冊入學

89
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,409
‎-很好啊，快考啊
‎-期限是今晚

90
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,203
‎我沒辦法在今晚之前
‎複習完所有高中課程

91
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,455
‎我該怎麼辦？

92
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:53,251
‎自從我吃過大蝦玉米片後
‎我的品味就變得很高貴

93
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,086
‎我想要更精彩的生活

94
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:58,840
‎包括教育體系裡面的大蝦玉米片

95
00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:00,383
‎社區大學

96
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:05,430
‎是的，我現在就去存現金

97
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:06,681
‎先生，如果你沒來…

98
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:10,852
‎我了解供應商支票會跳票
‎但還不至於到那個程度

99
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,603
‎你願意接受五分鐘問卷調查？

100
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,815
‎不，我不願意做五分鐘問卷調查

101
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:22,363
‎有人嗎？

102
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:26,784
‎妳該知道我上過
‎三堂基督教青年會的近身格鬥課

103
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:34,792
‎妳還好嗎？怎麼了？

104
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,298
‎如果妳需要回家…

105
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:45,219
‎-妳想告訴我發生什麼事嗎？
‎-不了，謝謝

106
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,682
‎妳想自己獨處？

107
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,562
‎妳想去爛醉驢酒吧大醉一場嗎？

108
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,066
‎我的甜甜圈可以一起去嗎？

109
00:05:58,649 --> 00:05:59,984
‎當然沒問題啊

110
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:05,239
‎（酒吧營業中）

111
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,824
‎-記我的帳
‎-不

112
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,451
‎這算百視達請客

113
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:13,831
‎你確定這個放這裡好嗎？
‎我有件夾克在這裡被偷走過

114
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:14,874
‎沒問題

115
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:17,960
‎就當成非常安全的金屬包包

116
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,337
‎我是說皮夾

117
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:23,883
‎我從沒對任何人這麼說過
‎但我很感激你把我灌醉

118
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,928
‎說“這是我的榮幸”很詭異吧？
‎真的很詭異

119
00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:31,099
‎除了這件事以外，我沒別的事了
‎我得在銀行關門前過去就行

120
00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:34,060
‎所以，究竟怎麼回事？

121
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:36,854
‎我發現我的生活不是我想像的那樣

122
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,566
‎“喔，我只是喜歡上傳勵志的引言

123
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,945
‎我在忙著舊屋新裝時
‎喜歡上傳自拍”

124
00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:48,116
‎誰去了一堂免費瑜珈課後
‎就在每個房間放佛祖神像？

125
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:51,702
‎從垃圾桶去租DVD吧，妳這袋垃圾

126
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,496
‎女愛倫來百視達？

127
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:56,165
‎我知道沒有其他影音出租店了

128
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,043
‎但她與已婚男子約會前
‎就該想到這一點

129
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,337
‎天啊，真是抱歉，還真是一拳重擊

130
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:03,798
‎敬美好時光

131
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,724
‎老天鵝，如何？

132
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,560
‎好好喝，再來一杯

133
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,728
‎好好享受《荒野大飆客》

134
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:20,314
‎但別指望會看見真正的豬

135
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,900
‎這部片完全沒有

136
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:25,820
‎-好喔
‎-漢娜，猜猜我手裡是什麼？

137
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:29,866
‎-本尼根餐廳回歸？是他們的菜單？
‎-他們還有焗烤馬鈴薯湯？

138
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:33,035
‎不，但…我印出來的時候
‎妳就在我旁邊耶

139
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:33,953
‎天啊

140
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:37,415
‎這是社區大學的分級測驗

141
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,543
‎我看過題目，絕對沒問題

142
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,545
‎妳也許得複習幾科

143
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,130
‎但妳絕對考得過

144
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,299
‎-妳不能上網查答案？
‎-有監視

145
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,426
‎我不能再惹上美國國家安全局了

146
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:52,013
‎每年6科，我念了12年

147
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,890
‎一共72科耶

148
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,099
‎妳很快就算出來了耶

149
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,560
‎妳比妳想像得還聰明啦

150
00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,812
‎而且妳不會一個人唸書

151
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,023
‎-妳還有我跟康妮幫忙
‎-真的嗎？

152
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:05,026
‎對，真的
‎我們要讓妳像《阿呆闖學府》一樣

153
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:10,114
‎我為了愛莉與艾倫復合

154
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,201
‎但我什麼時候才能開始
‎為自己做什麼事？

155
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:17,079
‎沒人告訴過我
‎在一個非常普通日子的一小片刻裡

156
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,458
‎就能讓我質疑我做的每一個決定

157
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:25,129
‎妳知道，每次我父母大吵的時候

158
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,797
‎這經常發生

159
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:30,384
‎我媽看得出來我很難過
‎於是想設法彌補

160
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:34,013
‎她會帶我出去過所謂的
‎“特別傢伙日”

161
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,807
‎我覺得妳可以試試特別傢伙日

162
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,352
‎你的特別傢伙不是在
‎釣鱸熱賣器具店工作嗎？

163
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,480
‎我只是想幫妳

164
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:45,149
‎過完特別傢伙日後，我總是心情很好

165
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:46,692
‎妳也會的，相信我

166
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,987
‎我只是覺得我現在還無法開心起來

167
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,615
‎從前小鎮什麼店都有的時候

168
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:56,202
‎我媽跟我會去遊樂場、開卡丁車

169
00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:57,370
‎我們吃個不停

170
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,956
‎任何讓媽咪的特別傢伙開心的事

171
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:03,084
‎但，天啊，遊樂場關門大吉了

172
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:07,296
‎所以…最好的方法就是坐在這裡喝酒

173
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,841
‎商店街附近還有很多我們可以做的事

174
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:14,470
‎先從熱門歌曲開始吧

175
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:17,390
‎這太蠢了

176
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:22,144
‎正是如此，有時候我媽
‎甚至會提早帶我離開學校

177
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,897
‎所以我放妳今天一天假

178
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:28,109
‎-我早就值完我的班了
‎-不客氣

179
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,153
‎好，開始囉

180
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,073
‎特別傢伙日的經典曲目

181
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:35,616
‎（點唱機，經典曲目）

182
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,034
‎（百視達）

183
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:40,746
‎唐老大跟哈柏斯要去里約熱內盧

184
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:44,333
‎唐老大下午3點離開聖保羅
‎時速145公里

185
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,169
‎哈柏斯中午離開聖保羅
‎開車時速105公里

186
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,212
‎誰先到？

187
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,424
‎哈柏斯只開最高速限的話
‎他寧願去死

188
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:52,717
‎-沒錯
‎-為何來這裡？

189
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,634
‎（安柏韻律褲）

190
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,845
‎因為特別傢伙日就是賣場之旅

191
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,180
‎但我們的賣場現在是美沙酮診所

192
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,892
‎-這裡有安柏跟她的流行服飾
‎-我替你保留這個

193
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,228
‎煙火花紋真的很有趣

194
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,980
‎你之前來過這裡？

195
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:09,817
‎-堤米是常客
‎-壓力褲讓我感到安心

196
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:14,363
‎我媽之前都會在貝絲安冰淇淋店
‎買香蕉船給我

197
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,032
‎好吃到她吃的時候都在哭

198
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,951
‎但後來被全年營業的
‎萬聖節鬼屋店買下

199
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,370
‎妳瞧，酒吧香蕉船

200
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,748
‎乾杯！

201
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:28,669
‎這怎麼會比真的香蕉船還甜？

202
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,129
‎我的配料！

203
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:35,217
‎二次世界大戰：比一次世界大戰
‎更長、更高預算的續集

204
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,887
‎1939年9月開始…

205
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,681
‎天啊，我好愛他！

206
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,016
‎-湯姆漢克撕？
‎-不

207
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,434
‎-湯姆塞茲摩爾？
‎-誰啊？

208
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:46,354
‎-卡洛斯，別瞎猜
‎-真的有這號人物啦

209
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,855
‎-他很有名
‎-麥特戴蒙？

210
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,732
‎他有個節目扮女裝

211
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,359
‎-巴瑞派柏？
‎-登上月球

212
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,027
‎-愛德華伯恩斯
‎-教女生棒球

213
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:57,073
‎-湯姆漢克斯！
‎-沒錯，我愛他，謝謝，漢娜

214
00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,159
‎來吧，妳覺得它會找錢嗎？

215
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:05,623
‎不找錢，但如果我們抓到
‎那隻沒條紋的斑馬，就值得了

216
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,208
‎你指的是馬嗎，醉鬼？

217
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,210
‎我要專注

218
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:13,339
‎右邊，繼續往右
‎然後我的左邊，你的左邊，好嗎？

219
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,425
‎左邊，再…不，右邊，左邊一點

220
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,095
‎我很開心妳心情好多了
‎但我討厭指手畫腳的人

221
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,639
‎好，上去，但是往下上去

222
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,265
‎鴨子！

223
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,936
‎那鴨子有人類的小雞雞嗎？

224
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,145
‎真的有耶

225
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,815
‎-這需要再來一杯酒
‎-我請

226
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:33,943
‎敬有人類小雞雞的鴨子

227
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:37,863
‎所以這位雷克斯不是人類
‎但在解剖學上跟人一樣

228
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,449
‎有肺、心臟

229
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,159
‎肝、脾

230
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,286
‎膽囊、胰腺

231
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,414
‎為什麼它會發出那種聲音？

232
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,416
‎現在該拍照了

233
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,209
‎不，我來

234
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:55,589
‎-對
‎-我…這樣…？

235
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:56,507
‎-好
‎-好的

236
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,008
‎好

237
00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,635
‎（世界背景）

238
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,345
‎全世界盡在我們指尖

239
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:04,682
‎怎麼…？
‎這些都是我們商店街的背景？

240
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:06,475
‎真令人失望

241
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,811
‎-選垃圾桶吧
‎-好

242
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:15,443
‎（20元無限拍照）

243
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:21,115
‎她快寫完練習考了

244
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:23,576
‎-你覺得她考得如何？
‎-她咬上唇

245
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:27,329
‎表示她很專心
‎或是在吃她的可樂汽水護唇膏

246
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:28,831
‎快走

247
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,296
‎表現自然一點，自然點！

248
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:41,552
‎妳的分數如何？

249
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:46,557
‎妳沒過？

250
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,100
‎妳已經準備非常充分耶

251
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,395
‎妳甚至沒拼對妳的名字
‎“漢娜”沒有四個N

252
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,438
‎我僵掉了

253
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:54,315
‎我壓力好大

254
00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:57,818
‎休息室超級安靜
‎我都聽得到自己的念頭了

255
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,362
‎我們確保那裡很安靜，好讓妳專心

256
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,031
‎我不習慣

257
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,950
‎當我在家自學考試時，什麼都沒變

258
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,828
‎我爸會對電視比賽節目大叫
‎還同時把晚餐燒焦

259
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,289
‎我鄰居猛按汽車喇叭，還有火車經過

260
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:12,500
‎我的貓開始逆向咳吐毛球

261
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,044
‎我的天啊

262
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:17,880
‎連說出來都讓我放鬆

263
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:20,591
‎我覺得大多數的白人女士很無聊
‎但妳不會

264
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:22,468
‎不，這樣其實很有道理

265
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:26,722
‎妳周遭的一切讓妳分心
‎所以妳沒時間擔心考試

266
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,975
‎真希望我能夠重建這一切
‎但我爸不看運動賽事了

267
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,102
‎那鄰居溺死在深水坑裡

268
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:35,147
‎我敢說我們能夠重建

269
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,317
‎我這就去存錢

270
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,694
‎我真的很抱歉，但突然有事

271
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:45,282
‎是家人拉肚子

272
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,494
‎奇怪，你也是

273
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:52,790
‎我現在就去，但我所有的錢

274
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,500
‎或是大多數的錢

275
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:58,087
‎理論上，如果我的現金
‎不夠支付供應商支票的話

276
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,005
‎這問題很大嗎，對朋友來說？

277
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,298
‎堤米！

278
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,216
‎嘿！

279
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:03,801
‎謝謝你

280
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:06,011
‎我原本根本不知道我需要

281
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,722
‎但現在我了解特別傢伙日

282
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,349
‎我真的覺得太棒了

283
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,643
‎-我非常需要
‎-我懂

284
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:14,728
‎小時候，這基本上救了我

285
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,857
‎但隨著我長越大
‎特別傢伙日就越奇怪

286
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:21,652
‎後來變成我跟我媽做那些
‎她該跟我爸做的事情

287
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,780
‎我坐在更衣間等她試穿衣服

288
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,033
‎去看《天鵝湖》，雖然這蠻酷的

289
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,119
‎其中一位舞者在台上摔斷腿

290
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:33,205
‎我們甚至參加伴侶烹飪課

291
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,332
‎-跟你媽？
‎-等等

292
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,418
‎不會吧！

293
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,589
‎看來她需要你多於你需要她

294
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:45,175
‎-你就像是她的小丈夫
‎-好噁心

295
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,553
‎也許妳說得對

296
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:51,432
‎她把注意力都放在我身上
‎逃避面對我爸

297
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,517
‎我得去銀行了…

298
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,728
‎你不能再這麼做了

299
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:59,273
‎但老伊萊莎最近很不好過

300
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:02,443
‎我女兒的朋友直接喊我名字

301
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,653
‎還有量大加油站那變態

302
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:08,866
‎我每次去都會性騷擾我的人
‎現在也不騷擾了

303
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:10,492
‎突然之間

304
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,578
‎女性主義還真奇怪

305
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:16,290
‎再加上領英爛透了
‎我的履歷根本沒人看

306
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:19,335
‎等等，什麼？妳在找工作？

307
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,463
‎我是說，我知道遲早會有這一天…

308
00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:24,048
‎是啊，只是…

309
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,550
‎我老是在說要更積極點

310
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:29,178
‎但我感覺整個困住

311
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,472
‎所以我才一直吵著要你積極點

312
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:33,849
‎看看你現在的樣子多棒

313
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,352
‎我只是想接受自己的建議

314
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,480
‎你會氣我嗎？

315
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:43,067
‎我真的無法對妳生氣

316
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,654
‎謝了，米奇，零錢不用找了

317
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,238
‎等等，鈔票給你

318
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,698
‎零錢我留著

319
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:53,118
‎因為也許有太陽風暴來襲
‎銅跟銀到時候可能比較好用

320
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,870
‎好的，我得閃了

321
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,999
‎趁銀行還沒關
‎而且我還有點錢時，趕緊過去

322
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:03,462
‎我得回到那個我不想看見的人身邊

323
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:06,340
‎留在學校吧，孩子們

324
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,175
‎-好的，老媽！
‎-你來不及了啦！

325
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,220
‎這樣吧

326
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:16,100
‎我才發現我忘記
‎特別傢伙日最重要的部分

327
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:18,852
‎你不是得去銀行，不是很重要嗎？

328
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:21,730
‎是很重要，但沒這個重要

329
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,315
‎銀行明天再去就行

330
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,944
‎現在是傢伙的選擇

331
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:29,196
‎妳想選什麼就選什麼

332
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:32,574
‎如何，伊萊莎沃克，妳想做什麼？

333
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:37,204
‎我要女愛倫知道我是誰

334
00:16:41,041 --> 00:16:43,335
‎這下面為何這麼濕？

335
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,462
‎她在哪？

336
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,297
‎我沒看見她

337
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:49,758
‎搞什麼鬼？

338
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:50,968
‎嗨，堤米

339
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,012
‎女倫…

340
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,139
‎女倫！

341
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:58,350
‎-妳在說什麼？
‎-女倫，比“女愛倫”順口

342
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,602
‎她不在這裡

343
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:04,773
‎我是有在懷疑妳的計畫
‎她來這裡已經是四小時前了吧？

344
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,525
‎厲害，女愛倫

345
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:09,695
‎你知道因為她
‎我連好市多都不能去了嗎？

346
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:12,865
‎我已經六個月沒吃果餡烤吐司了

347
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:16,368
‎-這怎麼會是她的錯？
‎-我不在家裡放果餡烤吐司

348
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,327
‎身為一個成年人

349
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:21,248
‎是的，我以前去的時候
‎超愛那金黃色薄片試吃品

350
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,291
‎抱歉

351
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:23,584
‎這太荒謬了

352
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,712
‎天啊

353
00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:28,922
‎我跟你媽一樣

354
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,426
‎女愛倫等於是我兒子

355
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,219
‎好，我是很醉了

356
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:37,306
‎但我不記得跟妳先生睡過

357
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:41,185
‎不是啦，我都在全力關注她

358
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:43,729
‎而不是面對真正的問題

359
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:45,606
‎艾倫

360
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:48,609
‎恨她很容易

361
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:51,028
‎但她不過就是個女孩子

362
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,197
‎他是我丈夫

363
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:57,034
‎我想我想當個非常好

364
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:02,247
‎好到絕對不會氣他的人

365
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:08,253
‎但我真的很氣他

366
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,675
‎我看得出來

367
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:17,137
‎妳的臉就是某些人士所謂的
‎“泰德甘迺迪紅”色

368
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:25,729
‎來吧

369
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,356
‎我知道我要做什麼了

370
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:33,737
‎-用爬的
‎-對，我要叫優步

371
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,739
‎好，我把盒子先放好

372
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:42,454
‎這是為妳特製的飲料
‎超熱百事可樂馬克杯特調

373
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:45,207
‎謝謝你所做的一切

374
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,208
‎妳絕對行的

375
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,628
‎各就各位，來真的了

376
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,380
‎開始動作，爆米花！

377
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,509
‎你不該信任我，我嗑藥了！

378
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:59,388
‎我的貓成了波士頓來的
‎滿嘴髒話熊熊，我準備好了

379
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,893
‎這叫傳球嗎？快，快跑！

380
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:08,397
‎（梅諾米尼社區大學分級考試）

381
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,065
‎-有用了！
‎-太好了！

382
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:13,193
‎加油，活塞隊！

383
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,696
‎打倒那些鴨寶寶！

384
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:17,823
‎-不要說寶寶
‎-不說寶寶

385
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,743
‎（鐵溪，丘嶺房地產公司）

386
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,996
‎（艾倫沃克，我知道你住在哪裡）

387
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:24,913
‎很好

388
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,710
‎這比我想像的有趣多了

389
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:35,174
‎“我知道你住在哪裡”
‎好糟糕的房地產標語

390
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:39,011
‎-糟透了！
‎-但如果他是恐怖片反派角色

391
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:42,890
‎“艾倫沃克知道你住在哪裡
‎還知道你怎麼死的”

392
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,810
‎好…

393
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:48,854
‎眉間

394
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:51,607
‎掌控局勢！
‎我喜歡這種自信，貝比魯斯

395
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:58,614
‎-很會投嘛
‎-謝謝

396
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,449
‎數年來深水炸彈遊戲的訓練

397
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,828
‎你知道艾倫不喜歡糖霜甜甜圈嗎？

398
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,748
‎什麼？這算是《MIB星際戰警》裡

399
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:10,000
‎偽裝成人類的外星人情況嗎？

400
00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:13,712
‎是不是？他又沒有六塊肌要維持

401
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:17,758
‎沒六塊肌又沒犯法
‎這是步入中年的徵兆

402
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,052
‎沒錯

403
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,555
‎非常好！

404
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:27,684
‎結果為什麼要等這麼久？

405
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,645
‎我不知道，讓我好緊張

406
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,105
‎-我要租這部片
‎-《小鬼也摩登》？

407
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,983
‎今天是我先生的生日，表示要嘿咻了

408
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,152
‎只有傑米甘迺迪才會讓我有性致

409
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,698
‎而且我們好久沒有做
‎傑米甘迺迪實驗了

410
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,576
‎-如果妳懂我的意思的話
‎-我不懂，也不想懂

411
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,288
‎-拿去吧
‎-免費？你確定？

412
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:51,250
‎-只有妳想看《小鬼也摩登》
‎-五元給妳

413
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,751
‎-好喔
‎-快走吧

414
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,422
‎-所以呢？
‎-我考過了！

415
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,424
‎我能去念社區大學了

416
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,426
‎我…我是艾兒伍茲！

417
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:04,054
‎-妳錄取了！
‎-太好了，寶貝，妳辦到了！

418
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,436
‎醒醒

419
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:14,523
‎伊萊莎

420
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:17,609
‎接下來去哪裡？

421
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:20,696
‎哪兒都不去了，我的夜晚結束了

422
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:23,073
‎你可以確保我朋友安全到家嗎？

423
00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:26,910
‎拜託，史帝夫說
‎我們想坐多久他就開多久

424
00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:29,496
‎-我叫維克特
‎-維克特，對喔

425
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:33,709
‎堤米，維克特求我們繼續走

426
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:35,002
‎我真的不在乎

427
00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,087
‎我們還有好多廣告看板可以砸

428
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:38,088
‎我也想

429
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,425
‎我真的想繼續玩

430
00:21:44,928 --> 00:21:46,722
‎我還有工作要忙

431
00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:49,683
‎當然

432
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:51,018
‎你是很棒的老闆

433
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,611
‎今天再次謝謝你

434
00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:04,823
‎沒有你我熬不過去，百視達先生

435
00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:07,326
‎百視達先生是我爸的名字

436
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,121
‎到麥當勞，史帝夫

437
00:22:11,204 --> 00:22:12,956
‎-維克特
‎-對，好啦，維克特

438
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,041
‎（百視達）

439
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:33,060
‎-嗨，你
‎-抱歉，我遲到了，有事耽擱

440
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:36,646
‎沒關係，我只是在清理釣具箱的蝦頭

441
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:37,564
‎超火辣

442
00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:38,482
‎是不是

443
00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:40,609
‎（大磨坊）

444
00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:43,362
‎妳知不知道我店裡有熊這件事？

445
00:22:45,238 --> 00:22:46,073
‎不知道

446
00:23:30,992 --> 00:23:33,495
‎字幕翻譯： 王問僧