1
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,852
(崔維斯:你太厲害了,王)
2
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,899
(兄弟,大家都在討論
你昨晚的衛生紙挑戰)
3
00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:25,817
(訊息)
4
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:36,578
早安,媽
5
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,788
-嗨
-安紐到了,再見
6
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:39,956
好
7
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,604
好了...好了
8
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:05,690
需要實驗夥伴嗎?
9
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,651
嗨
10
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,446
衛生紙挑戰挺酷的
11
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,532
-謝謝
-你是怎麼做到的?
12
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,826
來吧,丟一個上來
13
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:30,048
《西遊ABC》
14
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:37,889
爸
15
00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:42,727
對不起,我不是故意的
16
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,395
別再跟我瞎扯了
17
00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:50,527
你這麼做讓其他神仙都趨於危險
你把金箍棒拿走了
18
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:54,614
也不好好看著它
有什麼事比這個更重要?
19
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:57,617
-當然有,我是為了...
-為了什麼?
20
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:00,662
足球隊的事
21
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:08,002
從現在開始,你給我閉門反思二百年
22
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:10,046
出來後,你去育馬場餵馬
23
00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:12,632
跟你老爸一樣,從地做起
24
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,717
學會夾著尾巴做人
25
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:15,885
我不是你
26
00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:22,642
我也永遠不想跟你一樣
27
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:28,398
這不是孫悟空第一次聽到這句話
28
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:31,818
數千年前,他還不是維辰的父親
29
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:35,947
甚至還未稱王,當時他只是一隻猴子
30
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,575
那時他第一次嘗到被拒絕的滋味
31
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:43,121
而且還是在蟠桃會上
32
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,791
諸神將挑選出下一任一品大聖
33
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這個故事講述了自信、友誼、野心和挫敗
34
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:54,966
(孫悟空)
35
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,428
花果山之王,怒髮上衝冠
36
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:02,515
就算是一品大聖,也無法讓他退縮
37
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:07,020
他只是個想狂歡的頑猴
38
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:12,025
今晚嗨翻天,主角就是我
39
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,235
孫悟空
40
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:19,991
孫悟空
41
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,660
孫悟空
42
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,414
孫悟空
43
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:30,126
(根據吳承恩之作品改編)
44
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:44,682
進去吧
45
00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:46,768
進
46
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:48,978
進去
47
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,231
喂,看門的,快點
48
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,191
悟空,你千萬別惹麻煩
49
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,984
放心吧,老牛
50
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:58,404
這麼重要的天宮聚會,我不會給你丟臉的
51
00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,948
什麼天宮聚會
52
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,742
這可是一萬年才有一次的蟠桃會
53
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:06,371
今年的蟠桃是頒給現任的一品大聖敖廣
54
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,538
誰是敖廣?
55
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,417
你連敖廣是誰都不知道,他是東海龍王
56
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,379
聽說他出生的時候只是一條普通的小鯉魚
57
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,838
但是他天天刻苦訓練
58
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,924
終於改變自己的命運
59
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,513
他們憑什麼插隊
60
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,391
-他們是領導
-他們是誰跟我沒關係
61
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,767
但是在我面前插隊...
62
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,185
她來了,來了
63
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,355
誰啊?
64
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,525
觀音,大慈大悲的觀音
65
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,193
你看她的鬍子
66
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,197
壞了,她朝這邊來了
67
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:44,075
-快上去跟她打個招呼
-開玩笑啊?
68
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,160
就是打個招呼嘛,去...去
69
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,957
光彩奪目、慈悲為懷的觀音菩薩...
70
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,625
我...
71
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,378
妳...阿彌陀佛
72
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,885
還講起悄悄話了
73
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:07,181
你看,天宮裡層次分明
她在上,我在下...
74
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:08,516
我就問你一個問題
75
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,143
你知道你是誰嗎?
76
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:14,022
知道啊,我是牛魔王
77
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,649
自己有房子,雖然面積不大,但是...
78
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:20,111
誰稀罕你那個破房子,我是說你
79
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:24,407
你是誰?你知道你的目標、你的理想嗎?
80
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,201
我的目標是
81
00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,996
我覺得要是我勤奮努力...
82
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,956
說啊,說啊
83
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:34,375
「我就是下一任的一品大聖」
84
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,294
不...不,這不是我的意思
85
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:39,172
你看,你共鳴強、想法多
86
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,257
當一品大聖最合適了
87
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:48,014
等我打開我心懷
88
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,558
真實的我站起來
89
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,977
-又拿我開心
-我是...
90
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,730
好了,夠了,夠了
91
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,983
-叫什麼名字?
-你好
92
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,152
我是牛魔王,這是我的客人
93
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,697
行了,進去吧
94
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,240
等等
95
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:07,784
你不能進
96
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:09,994
你沒穿鞋怎麼行
97
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,497
你怎麼知道我沒穿鞋
98
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,500
還好意思問,臭氣薰天
99
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,920
開什麼玩笑,你知道我是誰嗎?
100
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,755
我是赤腳猴神
101
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:23,758
猴神也是猴,走開
102
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,134
下一位
103
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:29,055
悟空,你別生氣
他們不讓我們進,我們就走吧
104
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,307
不走,我就從他那來的
105
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,683
今天的桃子我要吃...
106
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,519
我們就回去吃吧
107
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:37,897
-讓開
-尊敬的道濟禪師
108
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,982
天宮禁止自帶酒水
109
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,150
你說什麼?
110
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:44,195
真不好意思,規矩就是規矩
111
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,656
-那傢伙是誰?
-那是濟公
112
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,449
聽說他可能是下一個一品大聖
113
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,785
我就在這裡喝完它,好嗎?
114
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:51,953
好
115
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,163
我有辦法
116
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,709
悟空,你幹嘛?
117
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,255
沒喝完啊
118
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,257
怎麼可能?我明明喝完了
119
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,385
真是莫名其妙
120
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:10,805
好,那我就再喝吧
121
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,228
那我就再喝吧
122
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,271
這傢伙真能喝
123
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,148
但好像又滿了
124
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,066
那我就繼續喝吧
125
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,741
-禪師,你還好嗎?
-跟我來
126
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,880
真厲害
127
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,216
天宮的神仙就是這樣玩
128
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,680
我等不及見見天宮神仙的風采了
129
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,267
那可不一定,沒準是我們最出彩
130
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,479
你想太多了,我只是一個無名小卒
131
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,689
剛才你說的那個濟公老弟...
132
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,400
你說他可能是下一個一品大聖,對吧?
133
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,526
對啊
134
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:09,489
但是門神把他趕走了,沒錯吧?
135
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,615
沒錯啊
136
00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,242
所以說...
137
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:16,537
所以說他今天吃不到蟠桃嗎?
138
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,998
你就知道吃
139
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:22,335
我是說,下一個一品大聖可能是誰?
140
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:26,714
這我沒必要擔心
天宮裡有大把的候選人,像嫦娥、哪吒...
141
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,053
還有牛魔王啊
142
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:37,141
魔王,這是天賜良機
讓他們看看你的真本事
143
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:40,645
別...別,我能在天宮裡面工作已經是
144
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,104
心滿意足了
145
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,149
有點抱負好不好
146
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:51,364
我們現在該做的是去找那個叫敖廣的老弟
跟他好好談談
147
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,199
不合適吧
148
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,787
牛魔王,來
149
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,456
好朋友之間不要想說謊
150
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,541
我是真的看好你
151
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:07,213
我相信你,你自己也得相信自己
這是個好機會
152
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,882
你一定得去拜訪小敖弟弟
153
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,760
跟我來
154
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:19,725
歡迎大家來參加盛大無比的蟠桃會
155
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:28,192
第一獎的是「最佳恐怖神獎」
得獎的是殭屍
156
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,700
妳說我這次可以講話的
157
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,993
先不要講
158
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,578
這是我的天宮
159
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,008
妳好
160
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,683
妳好面熟
161
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,351
讓我猜猜
162
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:06,063
妳是仙女落花承悅,對吧?
163
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:09,191
猜錯了,我是玉面公主
164
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,694
瞧我這記性,該死,該死
165
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:15,281
沒事啦,這是我的朋友,鐵扇公主
166
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,449
妳好
167
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:20,328
姐姐,妳們知道龍王在哪嗎?
168
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,204
我們有重要的事要跟他說
169
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,082
-重要的事?
-是的
170
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:30,212
下一位一品大聖就是我這位好朋友
171
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,465
別聽他開玩笑
172
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,216
你好厲害啊
173
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,511
別不好意思,你跟她們說說你
174
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:39,430
西遊取經的那個想法
175
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,390
人家沒有心思聽我嘮叨
176
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,517
是你不想講吧
177
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:44,602
好吧,再見
178
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,437
對不起,這不是我的意思
179
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:50,358
我是說超渡和啟蒙這些事,聽起來沒意思
180
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:54,236
有沒有意思,應該我說了算吧
181
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:59,909
好吧,是這樣,在西天有一個國家叫印度
182
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,662
聽說他們那邊有許多佛學真經
183
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:06,290
要打開這些真經,我們需要先找到金箍棒
184
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,423
真經是寫在卷軸上,對吧?
185
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:18,594
對,可是不是完全對
真經的智慧是無處不在的
186
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:24,392
可以在卷軸上,也可以在雲彩上
甚至是石頭,或者是螃蟹
187
00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:26,352
那太神奇了
188
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,937
我也有同感
189
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,233
我兄弟厲害吧
190
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:37,530
所以說,取經就是去取螃蟹?
191
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:41,075
我還要感謝各位神仙
192
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,785
每年我都說了
193
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:46,622
下次就把這個獎給別人吧
194
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:47,832
謝謝
195
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,669
那是不是你們要找的龍王?
196
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:56,048
你怎麼沒告訴我,他還是個帥哥
197
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,425
喂,時機到了
198
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,843
鐵扇公主還沒把她的...
199
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,302
快點,走了
200
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:04,181
來啊,快
201
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,144
禁止進入
202
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:13,315
你這人啊,不是能力問題
是態度問題,你知道嗎?
203
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:16,235
牛魔王,我願意助你一臂之力
204
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:28,581
-謝謝鐵扇公主
-不用謝
205
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,665
走吧,走吧
206
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,792
別忘了誰給你開門就行了
207
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,718
這是什麼啊?
208
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:45,973
你有一點禮貌好不好
209
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,768
這麼好的女孩子,你要讓她把故事講完
210
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,854
你想多了,把注意力放在小鯉魚身上
211
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:58,152
快點,快點啊,我要乾死了
212
00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,612
小鯉魚
213
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:05,367
輕一點,輕一點,小心一點,疼死了
214
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,874
慢點,慢點
215
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,252
妳看妳
216
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:16,754
妳有擦指甲
217
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,798
是不是故意要弄疼我啊?
218
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,175
-在下不敢,敖廣
-敖廣?
219
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:24,470
有點禮貌好不好?妳忘了我是誰啊
220
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,847
當然不敢忘,您是龍王爺嘛
221
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,766
這個魚腥味誰不知道
222
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:31,852
你說什麼?
223
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,270
沒說什麼
224
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,397
「沒說什麼」
225
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,447
還不快點去裝水?
226
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,616
等著我變成餅乾嗎?
227
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,618
馬上,馬上,我們這就給您去拿水
228
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,662
快去
229
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,624
沒用
230
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,636
喂,悟空
231
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:11,350
快點把他叫醒,別耽誤我們的事
232
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,353
我覺得不行,他工作這麼忙,還身擔重任
233
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:19,108
「身擔重任」?我才不相信呢
234
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,701
悟空,別碰
235
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,078
你幹嘛大驚小怪
236
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,831
好吧,我現在就去溜溜
237
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:38,377
什麼時候這小鯉魚醒了,你可要叫我
238
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:40,212
悟空,別走啊,悟空啊
239
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,675
你是誰?
240
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:49,305
尊敬的龍王,打擾您了...
241
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,056
你是誰?
242
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,893
我是牛魔王,我在供品部工作...
243
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,562
琉璃,炳偉
244
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,689
我乾死了
245
00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:00,441
尊敬的龍王
246
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:03,903
我可以幫你往身上灑水
247
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,405
你白癡啊你
248
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,073
這是馬桶裡的水
249
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:11,577
-我不知道這是馬桶
-你們倆死哪裡去了?
250
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:16,081
-你怎麼進來的?
-我剛好路過,看到龍王,想跟他說關於...
251
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:20,044
關於什麼?有什麼委屈找投訴部門
我們這裡可不管
252
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,587
不是委屈
253
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,256
尊敬的龍王,如果我的想法冒犯了您
254
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,008
請原諒我,是這樣
255
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:31,847
在西天有一個國家叫印度
聽說他們有一個佛學真經...
256
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,140
好極了
257
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,060
真舒服
258
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,483
如果我們派個代表團去西天,說不定...
259
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:47,696
不要忘了我的背後,還有我的屁股
260
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:56,455
說不定取回真經,可以促進天宮
跟其他各界的交流以及共同發展...
261
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,168
他又睡著了,是不是?
262
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,504
這還用問嘛
263
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,965
聽著呼嚕聲是睡沉了
264
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:11,971
我跟你說,我可不僅僅是美髯王
265
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,306
我還是戰神
266
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:18,435
其實我更欣賞你的美髯,好帥啊
267
00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:21,647
出來啦,你在裡面還真夠久
268
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,190
這是我兄弟
269
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,985
-怎麼了?談得好嗎?
-不怎麼樣
270
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,277
什麼意思?
271
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,613
他們說那裡不是我這樣的人能待的地方
272
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,699
不是你這樣的人能待的地方?
273
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,033
不過
274
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:37,329
他們說得沒錯,你想一想
我是誰,對吧?
275
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,498
這個混蛋王八蛋
276
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:40,624
跟我走
277
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:12,823
-悟空,你要幹嘛?
-借用一下,玩完再還給他
278
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:16,118
當然要看它表現如何
279
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,053
走吧...走吧
280
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,348
大家好
281
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:42,603
今天我想說一件事,這麼多年
282
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,900
我沒有愛過妳
283
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,653
我愛的是妳的妹妹
284
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,241
你瘋啦
285
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:59,453
謝謝大家,看戲,看戲
286
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,122
該你啦
287
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,124
悟空,你要我上台幹什麼?
288
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:07,211
要你幹嘛?要你幹你早該幹的事
289
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:11,256
要你昂首挺胸上台,要你亮亮你的真本事
290
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:13,759
勇敢一點,去吧
291
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,260
你給我這個幹嘛?
292
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,387
這就是你說的金箍棒
293
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,182
魔王,為了下一個一品大聖
294
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,392
去吧,去吧
295
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,736
那畜生,他手裡也有金箍棒?
296
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:44,331
等我打開我心懷
297
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:48,418
-真實的我站起來
-那是誰?
298
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:53,298
勇敢無畏加堅強
299
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:57,302
聰明智慧加強項
300
00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:01,932
你問我是誰
301
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,144
我是牛魔王...
302
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,690
表演得不錯喔
303
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,151
你先下去吧,先下去吧
304
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,027
今天晚上最後一個
305
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:16,155
也是最重要的一個
306
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,366
天宮永恆成就獎
307
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,620
各路神仙和大王
308
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:26,748
大家準備好了嗎?
309
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:29,543
聽不到你們的聲音
310
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,295
大家準備好了嗎?
311
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:33,505
有請敖廣
312
00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:43,515
我的金箍棒
313
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:47,144
親愛的,妳先下去休息一下
下面的節目我來主持
314
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:50,689
大家是不是覺得王母娘娘該休息了?
315
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,361
帥哥,你先下去休息一下
316
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:01,783
各位朋友們,大家玩得開心嗎?
317
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,453
現在你們可能
318
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:08,624
是在問自己「怎麼這猴子在台上呢?」
319
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:13,003
其實我站在台上,完全是個意外
320
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:17,341
如果不是我的魔王兄弟,我也來不了這裡
321
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:20,552
雖然我沒來過天宮
322
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:25,474
但是我兄弟跟我說過好多天宮的事
我也大略有個概念
323
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:28,101
但是,說實話
324
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,687
天宮不怎麼樣
325
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,400
大家別誤會,你們的聚會還行
326
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:40,739
我的意思是
在冠冕堂皇下面,全都是虛偽
327
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:44,368
你祝賀我,我祝賀你,誰能拿個獎
328
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:48,413
你看最後這個大獎,天宮永恆成就獎
329
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:51,208
一萬年風風雨雨
330
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,502
就為了一條小鯉魚
331
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,507
這不是自欺欺人嗎?
332
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,676
誰不知道他是條小魚嗎?
333
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,887
大家仔細看看,他像龍嗎?
334
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:08,558
我不是說,是魚就不好
335
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:13,522
我是說這個所謂的龍王也沒什麼本事
336
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:20,404
其實,恕我直言
在座的沒有一個是有真本事
337
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:24,408
奇怪的是,在你們這,越是沒本事的人
338
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:27,619
越是仗勢欺人,今天
339
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:31,248
我跟我兄弟就要把這種不平等
340
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:34,126
改過來,徹底打翻
341
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,182
不錯吧?
342
00:21:54,104 --> 00:22:00,694
你哪來的神仙我不知道
但我等了一萬年才等到今天
343
00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:02,529
你不生氣啊?
344
00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:04,656
生氣
345
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:11,038
我開心都來不及了
你是第一個敢在這裡說實話的人
346
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,581
你是開玩笑的吧?
347
00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:16,126
從來沒有這麼認真過
348
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:18,879
認真得讓我覺得
349
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:22,716
你應該是下一個一品大聖
350
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,472
你現在肯定是在開玩笑
351
00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:32,976
我能看出來,你不喜歡這個地方
352
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,103
我也不喜歡這個地方
353
00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:38,273
所以咱們是一路人
354
00:22:38,982 --> 00:22:41,735
你接我的班正好
355
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:44,154
可是我不想接你的班
356
00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:45,947
那就對了
357
00:22:45,947 --> 00:22:48,867
-你明白我的意思嗎?
-不明白
358
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,913
告訴我,你叫什麼名字,猴子?
359
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:55,665
別叫我猴子,我叫孫悟空
360
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,460
還挺敏感的喔
361
00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,337
沒關係,沒關係
362
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:03,006
你做了一品大聖
363
00:23:03,006 --> 00:23:06,176
你想叫什麼就叫什麼
364
00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:08,470
恭喜了,孫悟空
365
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:10,931
先生們,女士們
366
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:13,975
讓我們熱烈歡迎敖廣的接班人
367
00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:16,353
下一任一品大聖
368
00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:17,979
是齊天大聖
369
00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:20,732
好,齊天大聖
370
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:21,775
孫悟空
371
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:45,590
今晚的意外太多了
372
00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:47,676
沒錯
373
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:50,220
你兄弟呢?
374
00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:53,432
沒有兄弟了
375
00:23:55,976 --> 00:24:01,815
有時間到我家玩玩吧
火燄山其實挺美麗的
376
00:24:02,482 --> 00:24:03,859
我可以給你做嚮導
377
00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:09,656
好,說不定哪一天我就真的去
378
00:24:09,656 --> 00:24:13,535
鐵扇,咱們走了
379
00:24:13,535 --> 00:24:16,496
我想吃麵,好不好?
380
00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:19,708
那後會有期了,魔王
381
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:28,258
魔王,你去哪了?找你半天了
382
00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:30,844
還能去哪,一直在家裡等你
383
00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:36,057
老弟,你說,今天是不是跟做夢一樣?
384
00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:38,143
我沒有這個感覺
385
00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:45,025
其實我在台上的時候
有一刻,覺得自己在作夢
386
00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:48,487
不過沒事,我們達到目的了
387
00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:52,449
-是什麼目的?
-跟他們平起平坐
388
00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:58,038
不過我比他們還高出一等
這就說明我還可以提拔你
389
00:24:58,788 --> 00:25:00,290
根本不是那麼一回事
390
00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:03,502
怎麼不是?我是齊天大聖
391
00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:05,378
我想幹什麼就幹什麼
392
00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:08,215
對你來說,這應該是好事
393
00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:14,679
悟空,我本來不想帶你來參加聚會
394
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:18,433
怕你會拿我開心,讓我出糗
395
00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:25,190
可是我告訴我自己
悟空是我的兄弟,我應該帶他來
396
00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:28,860
魔王,你生氣了?
397
00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:33,532
我不是拿你開心
我是督促你,因為我相信你
398
00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:38,036
別找藉口
你督促我,是因為你想讓我跟你一樣
399
00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:40,121
跟我一樣有什麼不好?
400
00:25:40,121 --> 00:25:42,457
你需要的是跟我一樣的自信
401
00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:48,129
自信?你是我見過最不可靠的人
402
00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,674
那你是嫉妒我
403
00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:52,467
那你是大混蛋
404
00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:56,429
魔王,說真的,你要是聽我的話...
405
00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:57,722
我怎麼沒聽你的話
406
00:25:57,722 --> 00:25:59,099
我就是聽了你的話
407
00:25:59,099 --> 00:26:00,392
我才成了笑柄
408
00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:03,061
我做我自己就對了
409
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,854
做你自己?
410
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:07,440
人家把門的都不讓你進來
411
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,776
人家把門的是不讓你進來
412
00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:15,156
是嗎?那是誰把我們弄進來的?
是誰讓你見到龍王的?
413
00:26:15,156 --> 00:26:18,368
你自個兒沒本事把握機遇,你賴誰啊
414
00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:23,039
我跟你說吧,當老好人什麼也得不到
415
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:25,625
你要想得到什麼,必須自己去搶
416
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:26,960
所以你搶到了
417
00:26:29,629 --> 00:26:31,381
好吧,我就說
418
00:26:31,881 --> 00:26:36,428
你根本就當不了一品大聖
你從來就不是那塊料
419
00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:57,365
你剛才問我知不知道自己是誰
420
00:26:58,325 --> 00:27:01,870
我回答不出來,現在我可以回答你了
421
00:27:03,121 --> 00:27:05,373
雖然我不知道我自己是誰
422
00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,792
但是我知道我不是誰
423
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,003
我不是你
424
00:27:10,670 --> 00:27:14,841
我也不想跟你一樣
425
00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:42,952
等等
426
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:47,207
你還是回去吧
427
00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:57,258
真的嗎?你不反對?
428
00:27:57,258 --> 00:28:01,221
反對不反對,你的路要自己走
429
00:28:01,846 --> 00:28:04,391
如果不是的話,代價太昂貴了
430
00:28:06,226 --> 00:28:10,397
我認識一個人
他能幫你,他了解很多情況
431
00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:12,607
但是你要格外小心才行
432
00:28:13,983 --> 00:28:15,026
謝謝爸
433
00:28:29,582 --> 00:28:32,502
進,進,嗨
434
00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:35,880
維辰?
435
00:28:36,756 --> 00:28:39,175
-你去哪了?
-抱歉,我爸之前帶我回家
436
00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:43,012
好,我之前很擔心你
437
00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:44,097
沒關係,我很好
438
00:28:44,097 --> 00:28:47,267
只是離開一天,但我現在回來了
我有個新計畫
439
00:28:47,267 --> 00:28:51,062
不,你不是離開一天
你已經離開一個月了
440
00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:54,023
-什麼?
-進
441
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:56,192
走吧,快上車
442
00:30:01,508 --> 00:30:03,510
字幕翻譯:劉晏汝