1 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,852 (崔法斯:你勁到爆,阿王) 2 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,899 (老兄,你昨晚的創舉引起轟動) 3 00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:25,817 (收到訊息) 4 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:36,578 早晨,媽媽! 5 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,788 -喂 -安魯到了,拜拜 6 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:39,956 嗯 7 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,604 喂... 8 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:05,690 要找拍檔嗎? 9 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,651 嗨 10 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,446 你的廁紙作品幾犀利 11 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,532 -謝謝 -你究竟怎樣做到? 12 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,826 來吧!扔一卷給我 13 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:30,048 《西遊ABC》 14 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:37,889 爸 15 00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:42,727 對不起,我不是故意的 16 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:44,395 別再跟我瞎扯了 17 00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:50,527 你這麼做,讓其他的神仙都處於危險 你把金箍棒拿走了 18 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:54,614 也不好好看着它 有什麼事比這個更重要? 19 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:57,617 -當然有,我是為了... -為什麼? 20 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:00,662 關於足球的事 21 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:08,002 從現在開始,你給我閉門反思 200 年 22 00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:10,046 出來後,你只於馬場餵馬 23 00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:12,632 跟你老爸一樣,從低做起 24 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,717 學會抓着尾巴做人 25 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:15,885 我不是你 26 00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,096 我也永遠不想跟你一樣! 27 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:22,642 我也永遠不想跟你一樣... 28 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:28,398 這不是孫悟空第一次聽到這些話 29 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:31,818 幾千年前,他仍未是維辰的爸爸 30 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:35,947 他當時甚至不是猴王,只是隻猴子 31 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,575 他當時就首次感受到被拒絕之苦 32 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:43,121 他當時就身在天宮的蟠桃會 33 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,791 眾神仙將要選出下一位齊天大聖 34 00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:51,462 這是一個關於自信、友誼 野心和遺憾的故事 35 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:54,966 (孫悟空) 36 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,428 花果山力量他就是最強 37 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:02,515 沒人能令他退縮連一品大聖也辦不到 38 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:07,020 他只是一隻想開派對的猴子 39 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:12,025 今晚他要大玩特玩總之要引人注目 40 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,235 孫悟空 41 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:19,991 孫悟空 42 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,660 孫悟空 43 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,996 (敖廣) 44 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,414 孫悟空 45 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:30,126 (根據吳承恩的故事改編) 46 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:37,592 (數千萬年前) 47 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:44,682 進去吧 48 00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:46,768 進去 49 00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:48,978 進去 50 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,231 喂,看門的!快一點! 51 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,191 悟空,你千萬別讓我們惹麻煩 52 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,984 別擔心吧,老牛 53 00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:58,404 這麼重要的天宮聚會,我不會給你丟臉的 54 00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,948 說什麼天宮聚會啊 55 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,742 這可是一萬年才有一次的蟠桃會 56 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:06,371 今年的蟠桃是要頒給一品大聖的敖廣 57 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,538 誰是敖廣? 58 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:11,417 你連敖廣是誰都不知道?他是東海龍王 59 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,379 聽說他出生的時候 只是一條普通的小鯉魚 60 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,838 但是他天天刻苦訓練 61 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,924 終於改變自己的命運 62 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,513 喂!他們憑什麼插隊啊? 63 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,391 -他們是領導 -他們是誰跟我沒關係 64 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,767 但在我面前插隊... 65 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,185 她來了... 66 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,355 誰啊? 67 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,525 大慈大悲的觀音... 68 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,193 你看她的樣子 69 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,197 壞了,她朝這邊來了 70 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:44,075 -快上去跟她打個招呼 -開玩笑嗎? 71 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,160 就是打個招呼嘛,去... 72 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,957 慈悲為懷的觀音菩薩... 73 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,625 我... 74 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,378 你...阿彌陀佛 75 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,885 還講起悄悄話啦 76 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:07,181 天宮裏層次分明,她在上,我在下... 77 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:08,516 我就問你一個問題 78 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,143 你知道你是誰嗎? 79 00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:14,022 我知道,我是牛魔王 80 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,649 自己有房子,雖然面積不大,但是... 81 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:20,111 誰稀罕你那個破房子?我是說你啊? 82 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:24,407 你是誰,你知道你的目標和理想嘛 83 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,201 我的目標是 84 00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,996 我覺得要是我勤奮努力... 85 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,956 說啊... 86 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:34,375 「我就是下一任的一品大聖」 87 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,294 不...這不是我的意思! 88 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:39,172 看,你功力強,想法多 89 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,257 你當一品大聖是最合適的 90 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:48,014 當我打開我心懷 91 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,558 真摯的我站起來 92 00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,977 你又拿我開心了 93 00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,730 -夠了! -我是牛魔王 94 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,983 -叫什麼名字? -你好 95 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,152 我是牛魔王,這是我的客人 96 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,697 成了,進去吧 97 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,240 等等 98 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:07,784 不能進 99 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:09,994 你沒穿鞋怎麼成? 100 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,497 你怎知道我沒穿鞋? 101 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,500 還好意思問?臭氣熏天 102 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,920 開什麼玩笑?你知道我是誰嗎? 103 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,755 我是赤腳猴神 104 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:23,758 猴神也是猴,走開! 105 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,134 下一位! 106 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:29,055 悟空,你別生氣了 他們不讓我們進去,我們就走吧 107 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,307 不走!就從他罵人的態度 108 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,683 今天蟠桃,我老孫是吃定的 109 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,519 我們回去吃嘛! 110 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:37,897 -走開! -尊敬的道濟禪師 111 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,982 天宮禁止自帶酒水 112 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,150 你說什麼? 113 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:44,195 真不好意思,規矩就是規矩 114 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,656 -這位是誰? -那是濟公,聽說他 115 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,449 可能是下一個一品大聖 116 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,785 我就在這裏喝完它啊? 117 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:51,953 好! 118 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,163 我有辦法 119 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,709 你幹嘛? 120 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,255 未喝完啊 121 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,257 怎麼可能?我明明喝完 122 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,385 這是莫名其妙 123 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:10,805 好,那我就再喝吧! 124 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,228 那我就再喝吧... 125 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,271 他真能喝 126 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,148 它好像又滿了 127 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,066 那我就繼續喝吧! 128 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,741 -禪師... -跟我來! 129 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,880 嘩,真厲害! 130 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,216 天宮的神仙,就是知道怎麼玩 131 00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,680 我等不及見見天宮神仙的風采了 132 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,267 那可不一定,你就是跟我最出彩 133 00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,479 你想太多了,我只是一個無名小卒 134 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,689 你剛才說的濟公老弟... 135 00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,400 你說他可能是下一個一品大聖,對吧? 136 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,526 對啊 137 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:09,489 但門神把他趕走了,沒錯吧? 138 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,615 沒錯 139 00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,242 所以說... 140 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:16,537 所以說,他今天吃不到蟠桃啊? 141 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,998 你就只知道吃 142 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:22,335 我是說,下一個一品大聖可能是誰? 143 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:26,714 這個我們不用擔心,天宮有大把的候選人 像嫦娥、哪吒、惠岸 144 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,053 還有牛魔王! 145 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:37,141 牛魔王,這是天賜良機 讓他們看看你的真本事 146 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:42,104 不要...我能在天宮裏工作,已心滿意足 147 00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,149 你有點抱負好不好? 148 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:51,364 你現在該做的,是去找叫敖廣的老弟 跟他好好談談 149 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,199 不好意思吧... 150 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,787 牛魔王,來... 151 00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,456 好朋友之間,我有個想法 152 00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,541 我真的看好你 153 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:07,213 相信你,你自己得要相信自己 這是個好機會 154 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,882 你一定要去拜訪小阿魚! 155 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,760 跟我來 156 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:19,725 歡迎大家來參加盛大無比的蟠桃會 157 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:28,192 第一個獎,是最佳恐怖神獎 得獎的是,殭屍! 158 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,700 你說過這次我可以講話! 159 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,993 你可以,不是時候 160 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,578 這是我的天宮啊! 161 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,008 你好 162 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,683 你好面熟啊 163 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:02,351 誰我猜猜 164 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:06,063 你是仙女落花沉月,對吧? 165 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:09,191 猜錯了,我是玉面公主 166 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,694 超臭記性,該死... 167 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:15,281 不是了,這是我的朋友鐵扇公主 168 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,449 你好 169 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:20,328 公主姐姐,你們知道龍王在哪裏嗎? 170 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,204 我們有重要的事跟他說 171 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,082 -重要的事? -是的 172 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:30,212 下一位一品大聖,就是我這位好朋友 173 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,465 -牛魔王 -別聽他開玩笑 174 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,216 嘩!你好厲害! 175 00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,511 別不好意思啊,你跟她們說說你的 176 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:39,430 西遊取經的那個想法! 177 00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,390 人家沒心情聽我嘮叨 178 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,517 是你不想講吧 179 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:44,602 好吧,再見 180 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,437 對不起!這不是我的意思! 181 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:50,358 我說超渡、啟蒙這些事 聽起來沒意思啊? 182 00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:54,236 有沒有意思,應該由我說了算吧 183 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:59,909 是這樣的,在西天有一個國家叫印度 184 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,662 聽說他們有很多佛學真經 185 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:06,290 要打開這些真經,我們需要先找到金箍棒 186 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,423 真經是寫在卷軸上,對吧? 187 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:18,594 對,但也不是完全對 真經的智慧是無處不在的 188 00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:24,392 可以在卷軸上,也可以在雲彩上 甚至是石頭, 或者螃蟹 189 00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:26,352 那太神奇了 190 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,937 我也有同感 191 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,233 我兄弟厲害吧 192 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:37,530 所以說,取經就是去取螃蟹? 193 00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:41,075 我還要感謝各位神仙 194 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,785 每年我都說了 195 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:46,622 下次就頒這個奬給別人吧 196 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:47,832 謝謝 197 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,669 喂,那是不是你們要找的龍王? 198 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:56,048 你怎麼沒告訴我,他還是個帥哥啊? 199 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,425 時機到了! 200 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,843 鐵扇公主還沒向我說... 201 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,302 快點 202 00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:04,181 快點! 203 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,144 (閒神勿進) 204 00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:13,315 你丟人嘛,不是能力問題,是態度問題 你知道吧? 205 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:16,235 牛魔王,也許可助你一臂之力 206 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:28,581 -謝謝鐵扇公主 -不用謝 207 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,665 走吧... 208 00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,792 別忘了是誰給你開門就成了! 209 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,718 這是什麼? 210 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:45,973 給點禮儀好不好? 211 00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,768 這麼好的女孩,你要讓她先把話講完 212 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,854 你想多了,你要把注意力放在小鯉魚身上 213 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:58,152 快點...我要乾死了! 214 00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,612 小鯉魚 215 00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:05,367 輕一點...小心一點!疼死了! 216 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,874 慢一點... 217 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,252 讓我看看 218 00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:16,754 留長指甲? 219 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,798 這是故意弄疼我 220 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,175 -在下不敢,敖廣 -敖廣? 221 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:24,470 有點禮貌好不好?你忘了我是誰嗎? 222 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,847 當然不敢忘,你是龍王爺嘛 223 00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,766 這樣的魚腥味,誰不知道啊 224 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:31,852 你說什麼? 225 00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,270 沒說什麼 226 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,397 「沒說什麼」 227 00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:37,608 哎喲 228 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,447 還不快點去裝水? 229 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,616 等着我變餅乾嘛? 230 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,618 馬上去...我們這就給你去拿水 231 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,662 去啊! 232 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,624 無用 233 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,636 你幹嘛? 234 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:11,350 快點把他叫醒,別耽誤我們的事 235 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,353 都不成了,他工作這麼忙,還身擔重任 236 00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:19,108 「身擔重任」?才不相信啊 237 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,276 唏 238 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,862 (如意金箍棒) 239 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,701 悟空,別碰啊! 240 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,078 你幹嗎大驚小怪? 241 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,831 好吧,我現在就去溜溜 242 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:38,377 什麼時候這小鯉魚醒了,你來叫我啊 243 00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:40,212 悟空,別...走 244 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,675 你是誰? 245 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:49,305 尊敬的龍王,打擾你了 246 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,056 你是誰? 247 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,893 我是牛魔王,我在貢品部工作 248 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,562 露利!炳文! 249 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,689 我乾死了! 250 00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:00,441 尊敬的龍王 251 00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:03,903 我可幫你在身上灑水 252 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,405 喂!你是白痴啊! 253 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,073 這是馬桶裏的水! 254 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:11,577 -我不知道這是馬桶! -你們兩個去了哪裏? 255 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:16,081 -你怎麼進來的? -剛好路過看到龍王,想跟他說說關於... 256 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:20,044 關於什麼?有什麼委屈,就找投訴部門 257 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,587 -我們這個不管 -不是委屈 258 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,256 尊敬的龍王,如果我的想法冒犯你 259 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,008 請原諒我,是這樣的 260 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:31,847 在西天有個國家叫印度 聽說他們有一本佛學真經 261 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,140 天啊 262 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,060 真舒服 263 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,483 如果我們派一個代表團去西天,說不定... 264 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:47,696 別忘了我的背後,還有我的屁股 265 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:56,455 說不定取回真經,可以促進天宮 跟其他各界的交流,一起共同發展 266 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,168 他又睡覺了,是不是? 267 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,504 這還要問嗎? 268 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,965 聽到呼嚕聲,是睡着了 269 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:11,971 我跟你說,我可不僅僅是美顏王 270 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,306 我還是戰神! 271 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:18,435 其實我更欣賞你的美顏,好帥! 272 00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:21,647 出來了!你在裏面,還真夠久的了 273 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,190 他是我兄弟! 274 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,985 -怎麼啦?還好嘛? -不怎麼樣 275 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,277 什麼意思啊? 276 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,613 他們說,那裏不是我這樣的人能待的地方 277 00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,699 不是你這樣的人待的地方? 278 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,033 不過 279 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:37,329 他們說得沒錯 你想一想,我是誰,對吧? 280 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,498 這個渾蛋王八蛋 281 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:40,624 跟我走! 282 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:12,823 -悟空,你要幹嘛? -借用一下,完了後再還給他 283 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:16,118 當然,要看它表現如何 284 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,053 走啦... 285 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,348 大家好! 286 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:42,603 今天,我想說一件事 287 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,900 我沒有愛過你啊! 288 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,653 我愛的,是你的妹妹 289 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,241 你瘋了? 290 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:59,453 謝謝大家!看戲吧... 291 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,122 喂,該你了 292 00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,124 悟空,你要我上台幹什麼? 293 00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:07,211 我讓你幹嘛?讓你幹你早該幹的事 294 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:11,256 讓你昂首挺胸上台,讓你亮亮你的真本事 295 00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:13,759 勇敢一點,去吧 296 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,260 你給我這個幹嗎? 297 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,387 這就是你說的金箍棒啊! 298 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,182 牛魔王,為了下一個一品大聖 299 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,392 去吧... 300 00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,736 什麼回事?他手裏也有如意金箍棒? 301 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:44,331 當我打開我心懷 302 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:48,418 -真摯的我站起來 -我問你啊? 303 00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:53,298 勇敢無畏向前衝 304 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:57,302 充滿智慧濟蒼生 305 00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:01,932 你問我是誰 306 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,144 我是牛魔王... 307 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,690 這一個不錯... 308 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,151 你先下去吧... 309 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,027 今天晚上最後一個... 310 00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:16,155 也是最重要的一個 311 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,366 天宮永恆成就獎! 312 00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,620 各位神仙、大王 313 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:26,748 大家準備好了嗎? 314 00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:29,543 我聽不到你們 315 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,295 大家準備好了嗎? 316 00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:33,505 有請敖廣! 317 00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:43,515 我的金箍棒啊? 318 00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:47,144 親愛的,你先下去休息一下 下面的節目我來主持 319 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:50,689 大家是不是覺得,王母娘娘該休息了? 320 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,361 帥哥,你先下去休息一下 321 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:01,783 各位朋友們,大家玩得開心嗎? 322 00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,453 現在,你們可能 323 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:08,624 在問自己:「怎麼這猴子在台上了?」 324 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:13,003 其實我站在台上,完全是個意外 325 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:17,341 如果不是我的魔王兄弟,我都來不了這兒 326 00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:20,552 雖然我沒來過天宮 327 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:25,474 但我兄弟跟我說過很多天宮的事 我也大約有個概念 328 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:28,101 但是,說實話 329 00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,687 天宮不怎麼樣 330 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,400 大家別誤會,你們的聚會還成 331 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:40,739 我的意思是,在冠冕堂堂下面 全都是虛偽 332 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:44,368 你祝賀我,我祝賀你,誰都可拿獎 333 00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:48,413 你看最後這個大獎,天宮永恆成就獎吧 334 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:51,208 一萬年風風雨雨 335 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,502 就為了一條小鯉魚 336 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,507 這不是自欺欺人嗎? 337 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,676 誰不知道他是條小魚啊 338 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,887 大家仔細看看,他像龍嗎? 339 00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:08,558 我不是說,是魚就不好 340 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:13,522 我是說這個所謂的龍王,也沒什麼本事 341 00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:20,404 其實恕我直言,在座的沒一個是有真本事 342 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:24,408 奇怪的是,在你們這裏愈是沒本事的人 343 00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:27,619 愈是仗勢欺人! 344 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:31,248 今天,我跟我的兄弟就要把這種不平等 345 00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:34,126 改過來!徹底打翻! 346 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,182 不錯吧? 347 00:21:54,104 --> 00:22:00,694 你哪裏來的神仙,我不知道 但我等了一萬年,才等到這一天 348 00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:02,529 你不生氣? 349 00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:04,656 生氣啊? 350 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:11,038 我開心也來不及 你是第一個在這裏敢說實話的人 351 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,581 你是開玩笑了? 352 00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:16,126 我從來沒這麼認真過 353 00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:18,879 認真的讓我覺得 354 00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:22,716 你應該是下一個一品大聖! 355 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,472 你現在肯定是在開玩笑的 356 00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:32,976 我能看出來,你不喜歡這地方 357 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,103 我也不喜歡這地方 358 00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:38,273 所以我們是同一路人 359 00:22:38,982 --> 00:22:41,735 你接我的班,真好 360 00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:44,154 可是,我不想接你的班啊? 361 00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:45,947 那就對了 362 00:22:45,947 --> 00:22:48,867 -你明白我的意思嗎? -不明白 363 00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,913 告訴我你叫什麼名字,猴子? 364 00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:55,665 別叫我猴子,我叫孫悟空! 365 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,460 還挺敏感的 366 00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,337 沒關係... 367 00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:03,006 你做了一品大聖 368 00:23:03,006 --> 00:23:06,176 你想叫什麼,就叫什麼! 369 00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:08,470 恭喜啦,孫悟空! 370 00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:10,931 先生們、女士們 371 00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:13,975 讓我們熱烈歡迎敖廣的接班人 372 00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:16,353 下一任一品大聖 373 00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:17,979 是齊天大聖! 374 00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:20,732 好,是齊天大聖! 375 00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:21,775 孫悟空... 376 00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:45,590 今晚的意外太多了 377 00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:47,676 沒錯 378 00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:50,220 你兄弟呢? 379 00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:53,432 我沒有兄弟了 380 00:23:55,976 --> 00:24:01,815 有時間到我家玩玩吧 火焰山其實挺美麗的 381 00:24:02,482 --> 00:24:03,859 我可以為你作嚮導 382 00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:09,656 好啊,說不定哪一天,我就真的去 383 00:24:09,656 --> 00:24:13,535 鐵扇,我們走了吧 384 00:24:13,535 --> 00:24:16,496 我想吃麵 385 00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:19,708 後會有期了,牛魔王 386 00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:28,258 魔王,你去哪裏了?找你半天了 387 00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:30,844 哪也沒去,一直在這裏等你 388 00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:36,057 老弟你說,今天是不是跟做夢一樣? 389 00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:38,143 我沒有這感覺 390 00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:45,025 其實我在台上的時候 有一刻覺得真的是在做夢 391 00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:48,487 不過沒事,我們達到目的了 392 00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:52,449 -是什麼目的? -跟他們平起平坐啊 393 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:58,038 不過我比他們還高出一層 這就說明我可以提拔你 394 00:24:58,788 --> 00:25:00,290 根本不是那麼回事 395 00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:03,502 怎麼不是?我是齊天大聖了 396 00:25:03,502 --> 00:25:05,378 我想幹什麼就幹什麼了 397 00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:08,215 對你來說,這應該是好事吧? 398 00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:14,679 悟空,我原來不想帶你來參加聚會 399 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:18,433 怕你會拿我開心,讓我出醜 400 00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:25,190 可是我告訴我自己,悟空是我的兄弟 我應該帶他來 401 00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:28,860 牛魔王,你生氣了 402 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:33,532 我不是拿你開心,我是督促你 我又相信你 403 00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:38,036 別找借口,你督促我 是因為你想我跟你一樣 404 00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:40,121 跟我一樣有什麼不好? 405 00:25:40,121 --> 00:25:42,457 你需要的,是跟我一樣的自信 406 00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:48,129 自信?你是我見過最不靠譜的人 407 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,674 那你是抵不得我? 408 00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:52,467 那你是大渾蛋 409 00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:56,429 魔王,說真的,你要是聽我的話... 410 00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:57,722 我怎麼沒聽你話? 411 00:25:57,722 --> 00:25:59,099 我就是聽了你的話 412 00:25:59,099 --> 00:26:00,392 我才成了笑柄 413 00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:03,061 我做我自己就對了! 414 00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,854 做你自己? 415 00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:07,440 人家把門的就不讓我們進來! 416 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,776 把門的是不讓你進來 417 00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:15,156 是嗎?是誰把我們弄進來的? 是誰讓你見到龍王的? 418 00:26:15,156 --> 00:26:18,368 你自個沒本事把握機遇,你賴誰啊? 419 00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:23,039 我跟你說,當老好人,什麼都得不到 420 00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:25,625 你想得到什麼,必須自己去搶! 421 00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:26,960 所以你搶到了 422 00:26:29,629 --> 00:26:31,381 好吧,我就說 423 00:26:31,881 --> 00:26:36,428 你根本就當不了一品大聖! 你從來就沒有實力! 424 00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:57,365 你剛才問我,知不知道自己是誰 425 00:26:58,325 --> 00:27:01,870 我回答不出來,現在我可以回答你了 426 00:27:03,121 --> 00:27:05,373 雖然我不知道自己是誰 427 00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,792 但是我知道我不是誰 428 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,003 我不是你 429 00:27:10,670 --> 00:27:12,213 我也永遠不想跟你一樣! 430 00:27:12,213 --> 00:27:14,841 我也永遠不想跟你一樣... 431 00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:42,952 等等 432 00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:47,207 你還是回去吧 433 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:57,258 真的嗎?你不反對? 434 00:27:57,258 --> 00:28:01,221 反對不反對,你的路要自己走 435 00:28:01,846 --> 00:28:04,391 如果不是的話,代價太昂貴了 436 00:28:06,226 --> 00:28:10,397 我認識一個人,他能幫你 他了解很多情況 437 00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:12,607 但你要格外小心才成 438 00:28:13,983 --> 00:28:15,026 謝謝,爸! 439 00:28:29,582 --> 00:28:32,502 阿進...你好 440 00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:35,880 維辰? 441 00:28:36,756 --> 00:28:39,175 -你去了哪裏? -抱歉,我爸帶了我回家 442 00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:43,012 好吧,我之前有點擔心你,老兄 443 00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:44,097 我沒事的... 444 00:28:44,097 --> 00:28:47,267 我只是消失了一天,現在我回來了 我有個新計劃 445 00:28:47,267 --> 00:28:51,062 你不只消失了一天,你有一個月沒出現過 446 00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:54,023 -什麼? -阿進! 447 00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:56,192 走吧!快上巴士 448 00:30:01,508 --> 00:30:03,510 字幕翻譯:童日陞