Casey: The latest polls show taft is eating away at our lead
in several key states, so this Julien situation is a problem.
The rock attacking an average citizen angle
is hurting us. I didn't attack Julien.
I mean, come on, I was just defending myself.
If anything, I was online bullied. Hmm.
I once played an online bully in a Lars Von trier film.
We all have, Randall.
How's Tennessee looking?
Not great.
I'm not losing one of my home states.
No, sir. You're not.
We're going on the offensive in Tennessee
starting with sending in general Monica Jackson.
Oh, great. She on the ground?
She's in Memphis, prepping her rally speech with governor juanita patri.
And Monica and the governor go way back.
They were on the armed forces' taekwondo team together.
Chang hon style or songahm style?
I don't know. Should I know that? Mmm-hmm.
Uh, all right, brief me on how the rally goes as soon as you have anything,
of course.
That's a plus, huh? Your vice-presidential pick being tight with the governor?
I trust Monica to get the job done.
And, you know, sometimes the best way to solve a problem
is to surround yourself with the right people. Mmm.
Now, I know we're talking Tennessee,
but that reminds me of the story you were telling
about your mom stepping in to help your grandmother run her business in Hawaii.
Good callback, Randall.
I listen.
I mean, what a crazy time that was.
My grandmother was about to go to trial on extortion charges.
And she handed the reins over to the best person for the job. Mama rock.
Gene: Welcome to Honolulu international airport.
We are days away from the event of the summer.
The backyard brawl-b-q.
In fact, let's bring in two of the giants
of professional wrestling right now.
The one and only, nature boy, Ric flair,
and the man from mudlick, Kentucky, hillbilly Jim.
Aloha, fellas. How was the flight?
Crazy, gene.
Plane's so big. Bathrooms are so small.
I suppose it's better than the alternative.
Ric, you're in Hawaii. What's gonna happen?
What the hell?
Narrator: That's no chauffeur. That's the iron sheik.
This is you, baba?
Narrator: This could get ugly.
Hey itakeyourbag.
Jim: My luggage!
The iron sheik: All tighty whities?
Ric flair: Just undies?
Is that all you brought?
Gene: Gentlemen, gentlemen!
This is an international airport, this is no place for a brawl.
The only place for a brawl is the backyard brawl-b-q
and things may not settle down until then.
Man: Security!
My mom was finding her rhythm as a wrestling promoter,
and she was creating all these amazing storylines
for her events.
Uh, but she was so busy running the family business...
Randall, what is this? What are we doing?
Oh, this is a blanket. I brought it from home.
I'mjusta hair chilly.
Okay.
Well, she was so busy running the business,
that she didn't realize that I was going through some changes.
Let's say, pushing some boundaries.
Teacher: He wrote on my pants
in permanent marker!
Teacher: Pigeon in theteacheflslounge.
Perfectly good cheese!
Andre: Ten. Bucket.
Everybody take your new pages.
I wrote your names on the top so you know which ones are yours.
Mine say "macho."
That's right.
Say, rock. Can I share with you?
I seem to have lost mine.
Ata: You guys are doing so great with all the new storylines.
We aired the airport stunt during the match on Saturday. The fans ate it up!
Now just remember to take your pages home with you, please.
Last week I found a bunch of them in the men's room.
Sorry to interrupt, ma'am.
But some people called for you.
Randall: Wait, is that downtown Bruno?
Adult Dwayne: Yup, that's Bruno.
Randall: He looks so young.
Adult Dwayne: That was before he discovered chicken wings and whiskey.
Randall: Really? Adult Dwayne: Nah, he was deep into both by then.
Yeah, okay, so the first.
Vet called, Francine's eye medicine is ready.
So I'll make sure to go get that. And then, oh yeah, yeah. Dewey's principal called.
Dewey's principal?
Shenanigans, mom.
That's the word he used to describe Dewey's behavior. Shenanigans.
Why are you doing shenanigans at school, Dewey?
I'm not!
Shh! No talking. You're being punished.
Fine! Franky's farting.
Classic shenanigans.
Rocky?
This is serious.
Something's going on with Dewey.
So the boy turns heel for a couple of weeks. It happens.
We're lucky he's only tossing cheese slices.
When I was his age,
I was boosting car stereos.
Ata, don't worry. Dewey's a good boy.
Ata: I know he is. That's why I'm so confused.
Maybe because his dad's the champ now, he's getting a big head.
A few weeks ago, he got in trouble for stealing ajanfloflsladder
did he kill the janitor?
But it's still not good.
He's getting bigger.
Bigger than the other kids in his class.
Andre know what that is like.
When I was Dewey's age, I threw my teacher into the forest.
You want me to talk to him?
Would you?
That would be great.
I'm sure rocky's right
and I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing,
but I just don't want him to become, you know,
a bully.
Except for white chocolate,
being a bully is the worst thing on this earth.
Thank you.
Yeah, look. All I'm saying is I do 99 percent of all the work.
But since Tony gets the pin, he gets most of the credit.
Hey, I've been working with this promoter.
He's planning a match in Saudi Arabia. Wants to open up the whole territory.
Hmm.
He was saying there's a rocky-sized hole in the market.
Really?
Thank you all for coming to my trial Eve dinner.
To myjury,
who I am confident are gonna find me aladyinnocent
Hear hear!
Lia: Oh, that reminds me.
I gotta ring Bob.
Bob, please.
Hello, FBI? Connect me to Bob.
Mrs. Maivia, again, I am not an operator.
I am tapping your phones.
Bob, please.
Pronto. Lia: Bob.
It's me. Just checking on the brisket.
Is it ready yet?
Bob: Ah, yes.
The brisket. The brisket is cooking.
Sweet dreams are made of these
who am I to disagree
I travel the world and the seven seas
Bob: Wait!
I'm trying to give you mangoes!
Some of them want to use you
some of them want to get used by you
Sweet dreams are made of these
Before we begin, it has come to the court's attention
that the defendant, Lia maivia,
has attempted to illegally influence the jury,
and the judge, for some reason,
with fruit.
The bailiff will now collect all the mangoes.
What if we already ate our mangoes?
My grandmother loved mangoes too!
Yes, they draw their power from the elderly.
What? The fruit do?
Yeah.
Judge: I don't know how things work in the wrestling business, Mrs. Maivia.
But in my courtroom,
we follow the rules.
Which is why I've chosen to sequester the jury at the double tree hotel,
until the conclusion of this trial.
Not the double tree! But I have tickets to see aerosmith.
So while my grandmother was dealing with a setback in her trial,
my mom was trying to figure out why I kept acting out at school.
So, she called in the best man for the job.
Where is my other coral earring? I'm gonna be late.
I don't understand why Mary worth is in here.
Go on. Answer it.
Bonjour, mon ami.
Andre?
Hi, Andre.
Hi, ata.
What are you doing here?
Well, today,
you spend the day with Andre.
Again.
But I have school.
It's okay to miss one day. Go on.
Ata: Go get ready. Yes!
Whoa, hey! Speed racer!
Hey Andre. Rocky.
Babe, I'm sorry but I can't make it to Lia's trial today.
I'm waiting on Vince McMahon to call me back.
That's fine.
Her white lawyer, Herman, says it's best to not have any wrestlers there,
in case the jury has a bias.
Man: All rise!
United States versus Lia maivia,
the honorable judge lamington presiding.
All right. Let's get started.
Prosecution, your first witness?
Thank you, your honor.
The prosecution calls Lonnie mcgill.
Nice lady.
But she did threaten to bash my head in like a watermelon.
Sylvester ritter, aka junkyard dog.
Love Lia.
Wrestled for her for years.
She was always good to me.
Didn't she threaten to slap you?
May I remind you that you're under oath?
She was always threatening slaps.
Somebody do something that she ain't like,
she was breaking out them gloves.
Slap city.
Slap city limits.
She was like Gladys knight and the slaps.
Christopher Alan pallies, aka king Kong Bundy.
One time, she said my ring outfits make me look like
a bald woman trying on swimsuits at the mall!
We need to change your image.
Judge: Mrs. Maivia.
Mrs. Maivia!
Yes?
What are you doing?
Knitting. Like a grandmother does.
It looks like you're just hitting two knitting needles together.
Oh, no. I'm making a gift.
It's a summer handmuff for your wife, for night time beach walks.
It's just the base.
Andre: Then you lead the pony to the pumpkin patch, and voila!
Your hook has been snelled.
Good. Now we fish.
Remember how I show you?
C'est magnifique, Dewey.
So, Andre tell Dewey a story, huh?
Once upon a time,
there was a woman, who had a cherry bush.
One day she see a toad eating her cherries.
She said to the toad,
"hey, toad! Get away from my cherries!"
But the toad was secretly a witch.
She put a spell on the woman so her baby would be born covered in hair like a dog.
I'm gonna shoot you straight here, Andre.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Justbecause you are becoming big
does not mean you can bully the children at school, huh?
The bigger you are...
This is about me getting in trouble? Oui.
I'm not doing that stuff because I'm big,
I'm doing it because of a girl.
A girl?
Woman: Can I get to love you
and feel the joy
that love can bring
you are the one
young Dwayne: It felt weird to tell my mom
because she's, like, an old girl.
And my dad would just be like,
"is she a wrestling fan? Sell her my merch."
I think I'm in love.
And I've never felt these feelings before.
Maybe we not talk for a while, huh?
The fish are sleeping.
Hello?
Rocky, it's Vince mc...
One sec.
Rocky, it's Vince McMahon.
Sorry, I was eating a burrito. Anyway, how are you, rock?
You left a message? Well, first of all,
I just wanna say I'm very excited about getting back on the road with the wwf.
And, um, I was thinking...
Look, I know for the most part it's gonna be Tony and I defending the tag team titles.
But what if we threw a couple solo matches my way?
I feel like there's a rocky-sized hole in the market right now.
Oh, I agree, rocky. You're a wonderful singles competitor.
Oh. Thank you, that's great.
But you and Tony together,
it's historic. I mean, it's legendary. It's... it's inspiring.
Uh-huh, yeah?
We can't break that apart.
Think about all the kids out there who love you, rock,
that believe in you. We can't do that to them, right?
Uh, right. Yeah, no, no, no. We can't do that.
Good. Glad we had this talk.
So, look. I've got something big brewing.
I'm betting the farm on this one.
I don't know what I'm gonna name it. Maybe wrestlefest. Or wrestleplex.
It's gonna be huge.
Greg yao: I don't have the money.
Lia: Then you have to pay a different price.
Greg yao: What do you mean?
Lia: Bang, bang!
Lawyer: Mrs. Maivia.
Is that you on the tape?
Yes, but I wasn't threatening Greg yao.
That's just how I talk. Bang, bang, boom, boom.
It's a wrestling thing.
Bang, bang.
That's how you talk?
That's right. Boom, boom.
I've never heard you add those words at the end of your sentences until just now.
I have been. Bang, boom.
Could we get the court stenographer to read back
any part of the transcript which shows that?
Lia: She missed it.
Boom, bang.
You should fire her.
Boom, boom.
I didn't know you wanted to talk about love.
I thought you were bullying because you were becoming big.
So I take you fishing.
Andre, it's fine.
We don't have to talk about love if you don't want. We can just fish.
This is not Andre's area of expertise, huh?
Andre is a giant.
Not a Romeo.
But if you want to talk about love, then we talk about love.
Okay, great. So her name is Debbie Rose.
And she wears these little colored balls in her hair.
And she's a fan of reo speedwagon.
She smells like Johnson's baby shampoo.
Oh, one time I made a joke about that because my last name is Johnson.
But she didn't laugh.
Anyways, whenever I see her my stomach feels like I just ate a bag of pop rocks.
Is that a question? Um...
I guess my question is, how do you get a girl to like you?
Women, they're complex creatures, Dewey.
They are strong of will and firm of heart.
And they only go where they wish to.
If she like you, then she like you.
And if she doesn't?
Que sera, sera,
what does that mean?
It means c'est la vie.
I don't understand any of that.
Andre, have you ever beeninlove?
Oui, mon ami.
Andre has loved.
Her name was brigitte.
She was Andre's stewardess when he fly to Japan.
She had blonde hair and a beautiful, kind face.
And when Andre ask for a glass of wine,
brigitte bring him the whole bottle.
Did you tell her how you felt?
At the end of flight, when brigitte bring a hot towel,
Andre tell her how he feel. And he ask her to join him for dinner.
Then what happened?
Brigitte belong to the sky.
She's dead?
No. No, she is working.
She's too busy to have dinner with Andre.
So sad.
No. No, Andre get to be in love.
Love does not have to be returned to be love, Dewey.
It's a feeling.
And if you feel it,
then it's real.
It fills you up with...
Pop rocks.
Oh! Oh!
Oh. Oh, my god. It...
Reel her in, mon ami.
Whoo! Oh!
Tres bien, Dewey!
Okay.
Now we release her, huh? Release her?
But I just caught her.
You want her to stay. She does not want to.
So, like brigitte, we honor and respect her choice.
Even though we do not share it.
We let her go home.
Bonne chance, ma choupette.
Bye, fish.
So if you only keep the fish that want to be kept,
how many fish do you actually end up getting to eat?
Oh, Andre do not eat the fish. The wine pairings do not speak to me.
So Andre the giant taught you about love.
I learned about it from watching two squirrels in the park.
Mmm.
They were going at it.
Mmm.
Well, I came outta thatday, changed.
And my mom was so happy about that.
And even if she didn't know it, she sent in the right person for the job.
Man: And I can't fight this feeling anymore
hi, Debbie Rose.
Hi, Dewey.
I like you.
Oh. Okay.
Like... like-like?
Yeah, do you like-like me?
No, sorry.
I just like you regular.
I understand.
You're a complex creature who is strong of will and firm of heart
and nobody can tell you what to do.
I release you.
Que se gah glah gah.
What?
It's French.
What was that about?
I think Dewey Johnson just respected me?
Bette: Huh. I wonder if it'll catch on.
Fart pony! Fart pony!
Ugh!
Randall: Ugh, Julien again?
Adult Dwayne: Always been the worst.
Mom? What are you doing?
Packing for prison.
Do you want my wooden spoons?
Don't need these where I'm going.
Don't be ridiculous.
There's still a lot of trial to go.
I'm tired of fighting.
I am a lady innocent.
But the court system is so cruel.
Which is why I want you to take over the business permanently.
No? So who's gonna run things?
You will.
Because you're the strongest woman I know, and you're going to get through this.
The jury doesn't believe me.
The jury isn't any different from a wrestling audience,
we tell them what's real and what's not.
It's what we do.
Also nobody believes you're tired of fighting. You love fighting.
I do, dontl?
We just need a plan.
Casey, hey. How's it going?
Uh, not well.
It turns out that the governor and Monica were more rivals
than friends on the taekwondo team,
they decided, pretty quickly, for old times' sake, to throw on their doboks
and have a grapple.
And Monica, being in far superior shape, dispatched the governor
with pace and brutality.
There is video, which we managed to secure all of. Thank god.
Because it is not something that you wanna see.
At one point, the governor begged for mercy. And Monica reminded her
that "taekwondo" means the way of the foot and fist,
and showed her none.
Sounds like general Jackson had an old grudge she couldn't let go of.
You know, like you and...
Yes, we all see the parallels. Thank you, Randall.