1 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:08,383 (Machines whirring) 2 00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:10,677 Keep shredding the nice lists! 3 00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:13,305 No one's getting presents this year! 4 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,682 Get back to work, 5 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,726 or I'll feed you to Jack frost! 6 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:23,023 (Pounding at door) (Voices shouting) 7 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:26,735 Hide! (Person screams) 8 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:29,446 (Wood splintering) 9 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:36,286 (Metallic clanging) 10 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,163 (Thuds) 11 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,375 (Hopeful music) 12 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,835 You're safe now. You can come out. 13 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:48,340 Who are you? 14 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:49,466 I'm big Tim. 15 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,427 That's right. Tiny Tim is all grown up. 16 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,304 And I need you to help me save Christmas. 17 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,014 Those men out there? 18 00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,975 They work for Ibiza scrooge. 19 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,478 (All gasp) Ebenezer's granddaughter? 20 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,646 The very one. 21 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,816 She captured Mrs. Claus, stole Santa's sleigh, 22 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,734 and she's taken New Orleans hostage. 23 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:10,821 The ghost of Christmas future has shown me what's to come. 24 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,991 And if Ibiza scrooge succeeds at blowing up bourbon street, 25 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:17,160 Christmas is over forever. 26 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,037 Now, I don't know about you guys, 27 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,623 but I don't want to live in a world without Christmas. 28 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,960 Let's go save Christmas. 29 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,086 (Music fades out) 30 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,629 And cut. 31 00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:29,798 (Bell rings) Good job. 32 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,467 Dwayne, can we, uh... 33 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:33,927 Yeah, I'd love to. 34 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,221 What's going on with her? 35 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:38,807 I don't know. That last line, there's just... 36 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:39,891 Flat. Flat. 37 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:41,893 Completely flat. Yeah, nothing. 38 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,229 I mean, it doesn't seem like she is remotely moved at all 39 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,355 by my big speech. 40 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,482 You wanna replace her? With who? Kevin hart? 41 00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,085 I mean, we can't. She's eight years old. 42 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,277 Would Kevin do this? 43 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,071 No, I don't think we can replace her. 44 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,532 I mean, she's an Oscar nominee, for god's sake. 45 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,701 This is the biggest scene in the movie. 46 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:58,952 Now, if I can't convince her 47 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,370 that Christmas is worth saving, 48 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,094 then how am I gonna convince the audience? 49 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,248 There's no movie. 50 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,543 Hey, Leslie. Hey. 51 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,646 Is everything okay? You just... you seem a little... 52 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:09,671 I'm fine. 53 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,555 Just annoyed we're on take nine of this scene. 54 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,759 I mean, you and I, 55 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,386 we've been around for a long time. 56 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:17,596 Between us, 57 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,807 we're working way too hard for a dumb Christmas movie. 58 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:24,519 Well, a Christmas peril isn't a dumb Christmas movie. 59 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:27,356 I know it's based on a dickens classic or whatever, 60 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,523 but a bunch of ghosts 61 00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,859 coming to teach you about Christmas spirit? 62 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,361 It's absurd. 63 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:35,572 I know it sounds absurd, but it's not. 64 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,533 I know because it actually happened to me. 65 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:43,413 It was Christmas 1982, and I was about your age. 66 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,540 I was living with my family in Hawaii, 67 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:48,126 and it was going to be the best Christmas ever. 68 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,295 Ho, ho, ho. Merry christm... 69 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:53,382 (Upbeat music playing) 70 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,217 Commentator: Santa claus is down. 71 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,677 You know what that means. 72 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,929 Mrs. Claus is up for grabs. 73 00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,223 Dwayne: My mom and I were at a holiday match 74 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,724 that my grandma was promoting, 75 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,935 and she got all the best guys to participate. 76 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,019 (All cheering) 77 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,288 Young rock: Slay them, Santa dad! 78 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,815 Dwayne: My dad, the sou/man, rocky Johnson, 79 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,150 the iron sheik, andré the giant, 80 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:15,278 "macho man" Randy savage, and the wild Samoans. 81 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,988 Commentator: Sika has the mistletoe! 82 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:20,117 If he gets it to Mrs. Claus and kisses her underneath it, 83 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,327 he wins the lady and the match. 84 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,787 He's been notoriously lonely 85 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,497 since his ex-girlfriend stabbed him. 86 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,581 Oh, my god! 87 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,667 Ain't no trade 88 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,294 Santa's got a brand-new bag 89 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,755 (thud) 90 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,006 (Cheers and applause) 91 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,883 Commentator: She doesn't need a Santa. 92 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:40,137 She's a career woman who can make it on her own. 93 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,640 It's 1982, folks. It's a woman's world. 94 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,726 Yeah! Yeah! (Bell dings) 95 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:51,356 Here you are, my famous keke pua'a. 96 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,191 All: Ooh! 97 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,317 Finally. 98 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,694 Been waiting all year for these. 99 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,237 (Laughs) You're too slow, rocky. 100 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,239 Get in line, sucker. (Laughs) 101 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,658 Nah, merry Christmas, man. Thanks for having us. 102 00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:03,535 Randy, you never told me 103 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,120 your girlfriend could kick like that. 104 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,413 Ooh, Elizabeth is great. 105 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,999 Yeah, she really gets into character. 106 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,083 I do. 107 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,210 In my mind, Santa cheated on me with an elf, 108 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,628 and I finally had it. 109 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,005 (Laughs) 110 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,549 I cannot wait to open my present tomorrow morning. 111 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:18,759 I already know what it is. 112 00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,343 I only asked for one thing this year. 113 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,470 A boat? 114 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:24,014 Better. A cabbage patch kid. 115 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,807 (Scoffs) Where are the ribbons? 116 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,517 Where is the tissue paper? 117 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,478 Whoever wrapped this hates children. 118 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,521 My mom. She tries. 119 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,939 Hey, put that back. 120 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,399 It's not Christmas morning yet. 121 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,443 (Whispering) See you tomorrow. (Kisses) 122 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:39,529 Andre, why are you still dressed as Merlin? 123 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,324 Mean gene, I'm pere Noel. 124 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,408 Who's pere Noel? 125 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,076 He's the father Christmas in France. 126 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,578 So like green Santa? 127 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,662 Green Santa? 128 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,247 (Laughing) No. 129 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:52,375 He brings Christmas magic to whoever need it most. 130 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,586 (Laughs) 131 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:55,921 Okay. 132 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,380 I went to three different stores 133 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,524 looking for Dewey's present. 134 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,091 There's that many stores now? 135 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,760 Everywhere was sold out. 136 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,678 But I finally found it. (Exclaims) 137 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,222 I'm going to bed. 138 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,473 It's only 08:30. 139 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:07,891 Are you even tired? 140 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,226 No, not really. 141 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,811 Hey, sheik, can you choke me out? 142 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:11,978 Yes, baba. 143 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,104 Oh, no, no, no, no! 144 00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,564 What? What did I do? 145 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,024 It's fine. I'lljustdrink nyquil. 146 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,108 Don'tdrink nyquil. 147 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,527 No sleep-enhancing drugs! 148 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,949 (Banging, rustling) 149 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:31,623 (Suspenseful music) 150 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,716 (Metal clanging) 151 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,636 Santa? 152 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,849 No, dude. I'm you. 153 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:50,976 From the future. 154 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,396 Wow. Me at 40. 155 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,856 I'm 15. 156 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,357 Fantastic. 157 00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,067 I've come to warn you. 158 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,237 Tomorrow is gonna be the worst day of your life. 159 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,825 You really expect me to believe 160 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,035 that the ghost of your 15-year-old self 161 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,620 came to visit your 10-year-old self 162 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,705 on Christmas Eve? 163 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,724 Hey, look, I'm just telling you what happened, all right? 164 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:14,809 But if you don't wanna hear it, 165 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:15,893 let's get back to work. Come on. 166 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,128 No, no, no. I didn't say that. 167 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,755 Just voicing some questions. Confinue. 168 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:24,551 All right, so me and my ghost self, 169 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,720 we were hanging out in my grandma's kitchen. 170 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:27,888 You can eat? 171 00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:30,599 Yeah, but I don't go to the bathroom. 172 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,434 Whoa. 173 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,437 Wait, how can tomorrow be the worst day of my life? 174 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,814 It's Christmas, and I'm getting a cabbage patch kid. 175 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,399 Check the present. 176 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:46,364 (Suspenseful music) 177 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:53,663 What is this? 178 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,040 Radish baby? 179 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,917 A knock-off cabbage patch kid. 180 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,561 Someone told mom it was even more popular 181 00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,628 than the regular ones. 182 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:02,339 No. This is the worst present ever. 183 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,108 That's exactly what you'll say tomorrow morning 184 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,133 when you open it. 185 00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,676 Why have you shown me this, spirit? 186 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,219 Well, I figured maybe at least 187 00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,430 you could salvage some of this Christmas. 188 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:11,806 Because from this year forward, 189 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,558 our christmases only get worse. 190 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,935 Worse than this? 191 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,021 There is 1,000% a soul trapped in here. 192 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,690 If you don't believe me, I can show you. 193 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,109 But I'm warning you, it's bad. 194 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:27,697 (Door opens) 195 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:31,242 (Indistinct chatter) 196 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:37,290 (Festive music playing) 197 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,299 Where are we? 198 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:49,052 Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. 1987. 199 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,805 This is our worst Christmas ever. 200 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,475 Mom? 201 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,519 She can't hear you. No one can. 202 00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,938 Money was tight, so we all gotjobs at the mall 203 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,523 to make extra cash for the holidays. 204 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,733 Mom's job was wrapping gifts. 205 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,486 Here you are, sir. Merry Christmas. 206 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,154 It looks like it was stomped on. 207 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,739 With joy? 208 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,992 Reindeer hoofs of joy? (Laughs) 209 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:15,286 And ourjob was that. 210 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,454 (Santa) Ho, ho! 211 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,665 And what do you want for Christmas? 212 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,208 I want a Nintendo. 213 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,918 A Nintendo, huh? 214 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,254 Well, hopefully, you're on the nice list. 215 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,630 What do you say, elf? 216 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,298 Is Marty on the nice list? 217 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,426 As if this wasn't humiliating enough, 218 00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,594 dad decided to start a war with the cheese guy. 219 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,555 This is premium cheese, rolled in nuts, 220 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:34,889 shaped into a ball. 221 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:37,017 Behold the holiday cheeseball. (Crowd gasps) 222 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,310 How is he drawing a bigger crowd than me? 223 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,480 Santa's the main event. Thatjoker's the undercard. 224 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,816 Oh, we gotta get eyes back on us. 225 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,943 I'm actually fine with eyes not being on us. 226 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,005 I don't want anyone from school to see me like this. 227 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,048 Well, then, you should have put yourself up for adoption 228 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,866 'cause you got a daddy that likes to be seen. 229 00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:58,705 Ho, ho, ho! 230 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,707 (Laughs) 231 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:04,836 Feast your eyes on hunky Santa. (Laughs) 232 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,589 Now, don't tell Mrs. Claus. (Laughs) 233 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:10,425 Drink your milk, children. (Laughs) 234 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,802 Let's see the cheese man do this! 235 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:16,473 Oh, you mad, cheese guy? Yeah, you mad. Bladow! 236 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,349 (Cheers and applause) 237 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,351 Honestly, I still don't think 238 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,729 this Christmas is worse than radish baby. 239 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,397 You haven't seen the worst part. 240 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,442 Hey, elf, why the long face? 241 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,736 Where is your Christmas spirit? 242 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,321 Be the heel. They'll love it. 243 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,822 Oh, no. 244 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,284 You must be one of those bad elves from the naughty list. 245 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,869 (Crowd oohs) Yeah. 246 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:41,039 And if you are, you have to do the naughty dance. 247 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,333 (Crowd oohs) 248 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,417 What's the naughty dance? 249 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,543 Just make something up. 250 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:49,130 (Crowd chanting "naughty dance") 251 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,925 (Crowd cheering) 252 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,594 (Laughter) 253 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,721 Ho, ho, ho. There it is. 254 00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,849 Okay. So, we never learned to dance. 255 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,017 Ho, ho, ho! 256 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,686 Shake that Booty! Thunderclaps! 257 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,857 It's raining candy. Ho, ho, ho, ho! 258 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,652 Oh, my god, Karen. 259 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:11,861 Hey, Dwayne. 260 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:12,946 Who are they? 261 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,656 My ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. 262 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,242 She was our girlfriend and you messed it up? 263 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,660 You crazy? 264 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,454 Hey, uh, that was just, like, 265 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,872 a skit me and my dad were doing. 266 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,874 Oh, yeah. It was really funny. 267 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,961 Yeah, maybe you can do another elf dance for us. 268 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,088 Kevin, let's get back to shopping. 269 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,757 Yeah, Kevin, you should get back to fashion bug. 270 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,092 My aunt works there, 271 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,302 and they actually have good belts for men. 272 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:39,097 Ugh, over this. Outta here. 273 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,810 Karen, come back. 274 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,770 Shut up and get me a candy cane, elf. 275 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,480 You want a candy cane? 276 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:49,839 Careful, they're bad for your teeth. 277 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,278 (Yells) 278 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,613 Wait, wait, wait, wait! Oh, no! 279 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:58,449 (Crowd screams) 280 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,869 You hit him with a candy cane just like... 281 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,329 Just like my character does to Ibiza scrooge 282 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,747 in the climactic battle 283 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,666 at the Mercedes-Benz superdome. 284 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,543 You write what you know. 285 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,545 So that fight gets us fired. 286 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:14,090 That and some literal nuns complained about hunky Santa. 287 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,802 But even worse, the manager docks our pay 288 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,805 because he has to replace the Santa costume and the house. 289 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,016 So we don't even make any money? 290 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,895 Nope. I told you. It's the worst Christmas ever. 291 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,647 I don't know about that. 292 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:32,734 Who is he? 293 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,485 I don't know. 294 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,120 Both: Wow. Us at 40. 295 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,122 Actually, we're 21. 296 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:49,667 Welcome to 1993 Miami, little me's. 297 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,420 And to the real worst Christmas ever. 298 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,384 Of course, Christmas ghosts always come in threes. 299 00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,677 Were you scared? 300 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,346 Not at first. 301 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,723 Young rock: Look at howjacked I am. 302 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,016 How much can we lift? 303 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,560 What about the treadmill? Can we lift the treadmill? 304 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,854 I didn't bring you here to watch me lift, 305 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,357 though, yeah, sure, I could probably lift the treadmill. 306 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,943 I brought you here because y'all don't know a thing 307 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,569 about bad christmases. 308 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,072 Okay, this is the worst one. 309 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,742 (Suspenseful music) 310 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:24,744 (Grunts) 311 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:33,670 Who are you calling? 312 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,380 Mom and dad. 313 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:39,842 Lia: Watch, iron sheik is about to take out the unsanctioned mistletoe. 314 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,803 I know, Lia. I was there. 315 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,138 I can't believe we're not gonna spend Christmas together. 316 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,890 Yeah, I know. I'm bummed, too, mom. 317 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:49,060 But everyone stuck around to train for the fiesta bowl. 318 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,187 Why'd you lie to mom? 319 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,190 It was easier than saying, "I don't wanna spend Christmas 320 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,401 "in a cramped apartment listening to dad and grandma 321 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,152 have one of their boozy arguments." 322 00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,154 It's smart to own a gun. 323 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,674 What if you need to protect yourself? 324 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,157 Anyone can pull a trigger. 325 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,827 But who needs guns when you got these? 326 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,996 Fist, snap, pick your poison. 327 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,331 Hey, babe. What's Dewey's opinion on guns? 328 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,125 I should get back to practice, mom. 329 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,311 Are you sure you don't want us to come over after? 330 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,670 It's just a quick four-hour drive. 331 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,255 Thanks, but I'll be with the team. 332 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,507 I figured I might as well skip the whole thing. 333 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,068 I mean, what's the point in doing it 334 00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:22,635 if you know it's just gonna disappoint? 335 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:23,886 Amen, brother. 336 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,430 Don't try and be cool 337 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:28,141 in front of the coolest version of us, man. 338 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:31,352 So we're just gonna spend Christmas all alone? 339 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,062 I wish. (Door opens) 340 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,272 Dewey? 341 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,333 What are you doing here, man? It's Christmas Eve. 342 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,901 Coach 0, yeah, I figured I'd just stick around. 343 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,305 Is your family gonna come see you? 344 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,362 Oh, they can't. 345 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,781 They're, um, they're on a cruise. 346 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,148 So what are you doing tonight? 347 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,701 I don't know. Get some subway. 348 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:47,994 Watch Wayne's world 2. 349 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,912 No, you're coming to my house. 350 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,497 No, coach, you don't have to do that. 351 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,291 Hey, I've seen home alone, 352 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,918 and I ain't gonna let you spend Christmas by yourself. 353 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:58,880 Too risky. Let's go. (Sighs in exasperation) 354 00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:01,716 (Door opens) 355 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:04,302 Dwayne, this is my mother, coco orgeron. 356 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,137 And, mama, this is Dwayne. 357 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,222 He was gonna spend Christmas by himself. 358 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,433 Aww, pauve ti bete. 359 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,311 (Speaking cajun) 360 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:17,106 I love the way she speaks. What language is that? 361 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,232 Cajun-English. 362 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,818 Can't wait to try it. Well, you're gonna have to. 363 00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:23,404 That ain't gonna be ready for at least a couple hours. 364 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,573 Gotta simmer. (Chuckles) Simmer. 365 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,325 Hey, you like music? 366 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,327 (Festive acapella music playing) 367 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:32,455 Can you believe it? Acapella. 368 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:36,626 All 33 tracks, no instruments, just mouths. 369 00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:41,464 That's a mouth. That's a mouth. That's a mouth. 370 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,258 Honestly, strong me, I'm a little offended 371 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,970 you think this even compares to radish baby. 372 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,889 Yeah, this is not that bad. 373 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,975 Oh, yeah? Let me fast-forward three hours from now. 374 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,401 Now this is drums. 375 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,736 I'm just kidding! It's a mouth still! 376 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,155 (Laughs) 377 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,532 I'm gonna go check on the gumbo. 378 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,616 There you go. 379 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,162 (Chuckles) Another mouth. 380 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,248 Hey, Mrs. 0. You need any help? 381 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:18,876 Oh, me. Ain't you sweet, sha? I do gotta visit the cabin. 382 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,295 Y'all stir for me, sha. Stir, stir. 383 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,882 Oh, yeah, now I see why it's the worst Christmas ever. 384 00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,176 You had to stir soup. 385 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,469 I didn't just stir it. 386 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:30,721 I was starving. 387 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,849 I was just trying to speed up the process. 388 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,642 Even I know that's a bad idea! 389 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,519 What you doing? 390 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,729 You put salt in my gumbo? 391 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:41,649 Messing around with my salt. (Thuds) 392 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:42,733 (Engine roaring) 393 00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,819 Is she okay? Is she dead? 394 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,613 You never touch a woman's gumbo, son! Never! 395 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,866 I'm sorry. But it needed salt. 396 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,034 It didn't. Just drive. 397 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,454 (Engine roaring) 398 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,705 Does she die? 399 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,123 No, she's fine. 400 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,292 The doctors called it a stress faint. 401 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:02,044 But we spent the rest of the night in the hospital. 402 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,755 That's why this is the worst Christmas ever. 403 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,633 Honestly, ever since radish baby, 404 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,386 Christmas has always found a way to let us down. 405 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,221 We just have terrible christmases 406 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,389 for the rest of our lives? 407 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,515 Looks like it. 408 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,186 (Gentle music) 409 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:21,439 Is it snowing? In Miami? 410 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,816 But not everywhere? 411 00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:34,202 (Choir vocalizing) 412 00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:08,069 (Laughs) Hey, deweys! 413 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,446 André? 414 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,282 What was in that gumbo? 415 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,409 (Laughing) 416 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,080 Andre? Is that really you? 417 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,083 I am not andré. I'm the pere Noel. 418 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,918 He brings Christmas magic to... 419 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,461 Whoever needs it most. 420 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,338 Yes, he does. 421 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,048 Young rock: Why have you come, pere Noel? 422 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,342 Are you here to change our terrible christmases? 423 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:35,346 The only thing I'm here to change is your perspectives. Huh? 424 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:39,475 You deweys are looking at Christmas all wrong. 425 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,269 Let me show you. 426 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,813 (Thuds) 427 00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,607 And what do you see here, big Dewey? 428 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,652 Three starving people in a hospital eating jell-o. 429 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:50,778 Hm-hm. 430 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,656 I see people making the best of a bad situation. 431 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,826 Ooh, almost midnight. (Coah chuckles) 432 00:17:56,951 --> 00:18:01,122 And the man who made sure no one spent Christmas alone. 433 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,000 I'm sorry I ruined your Christmas. 434 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,376 Would've ruined it more if! Knew 435 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,044 you were on your own, Dewey. 436 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,380 Merry Christmas. 437 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,507 Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. 438 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,342 (All chuckles) 439 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,845 And you, medium Dewey. 440 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,268 What do you see here? 441 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,853 Two people who just got fired 442 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,818 and are about to go home and not exchange gifts 443 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,398 because they couldn't afford any. 444 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,281 Good luck putting a silver lining on that one. 445 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:30,693 You are right, medium Dewey. 446 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,487 This Christmas was not so great. 447 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,324 But it was not all bad. 448 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,825 Hey, ready to go? 449 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,493 I have a surprise. 450 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,623 A holiday cheeseball. 451 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,642 Someone asked me to wrap one and then forgot to pick it up. 452 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:46,792 Come on, dig in. 453 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,378 You do not have much, 454 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,298 but you have two parents who love you. 455 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,425 And that's not nothing. 456 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,926 (All chuckles) 457 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:57,595 (Switches off light) 458 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,433 Ooh, it's my turn. What do I get to see? 459 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,101 I do not know, tiny Dewey. 460 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,936 Deweys: Easy with the tiny. 461 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,563 (Chuckles softly) 462 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,316 This Christmas has not happened yet. 463 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,985 You are where it all begins. 464 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,738 You can choose to keep things as they are 465 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:20,242 or change the course of your Christmas futures forever. 466 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,286 Itsahuptoyounow, buddy. 467 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,704 We believe in you. 468 00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:27,958 Now it's time for you to get back to bed. 469 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,670 It's almost Christmas morning. 470 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:35,675 (Gentle festive music) 471 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,512 What day is it? You there, what day is it? 472 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,140 Couldn't say, little man. 473 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,226 Merry Christmas, baby. 474 00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,103 Do you wanna open your present? 475 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:50,481 Open it up, son. 476 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:55,111 (Paper rumbling) 477 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,697 A radish baby. 478 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,908 I love it! 479 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,536 Oh, I'm so glad. (Chuckles) 480 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:04,704 It was sold out everywhere. 481 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,306 But luckily, your dad knew a guy who knew a guy... 482 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,970 Thank you guys so much for looking so hard 483 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,125 for my Christmas present. 484 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,334 I'm really lucky. 485 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,796 Merry Christmas. 486 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,716 Rocky, I know you didn't get any last night. 487 00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,217 Thanks, Lia. 488 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,427 Aw, wow. 489 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,470 Hey, get back. Get outta here. 490 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,181 Rocky, it's Christmas. 491 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:26,767 (Grunts) 492 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,414 Thanks for teaching me the meaning of Christmas 493 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,439 via time travel. 494 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,023 Is it Christmas? 495 00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:34,150 Yeah. 496 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,610 Merry Christmas. 497 00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,988 All: Merry Christmas. 498 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,614 Pere Noel taught me 499 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:43,033 that Christmas is what we make of it. 500 00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:44,910 And the most important thing about our movie 501 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:46,495 isn't whether or not it makes sense 502 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,998 that big Tim needs Santa's sleigh 503 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,209 to stop Ibiza scrooge from blowing up New Orleans. 504 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,086 The most important thing about our movie 505 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:55,838 is that families will go see it together. 506 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,590 You're right. 507 00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:00,050 It reminds me of when I was a kid, 508 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:02,636 and my family would go to the movies on Christmas. 509 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,264 And after, we'd drive home and criticize 510 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,099 all our neighbors' decorations. 511 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,059 (Laughs) It was really nice. 512 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,645 You see, now that's what Christmas is all about. 513 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,981 Those shared memories that people will take with them 514 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,232 for the rest of their lives. 515 00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,817 Because love it or hate it, 516 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,944 this time of the year is really special. 517 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,529 Now, I don't know about you, 518 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,907 but I don't wanna live in a world without Christmas. 519 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,786 Let's go save Christmas! 520 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,791 Merry Christmas, everyone. 521 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,127 Hey, Rudolph. (Grunts) 522 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,213 Light the way to bourbon street. (Grunts) 523 00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:38,547 (Gun cocks) 524 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,341 And cut. (Bell rings) 525 00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,927 That's great. Fantastic work, people. 526 00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:45,471 Leslie, that was amazing. Greatjob. 527 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,973 Thanks to you. You're a regular pere Noel. 528 00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:49,558 I prefer dwanta claus. 529 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:50,726 (Laughter) 530 00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,562 Look at howjacked we are. 531 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:55,606 So that's us at 40. 532 00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:57,817 Why would we ever wear a shirt? 533 00:21:57,942 --> 00:21:59,026 I think that's a good idea.