Casey: During the debate, if you're thirsty,
don't hesitate to stop and take a sip of water.
Hydration is not weakness.
Casey, I took on a tidal wave with my bare hands in San Andreas.
I'm good around water.
At some point, they will ask you what you want your legacy to be.
Our polling of swing voters shows your weakness is foreign policy,
so you want your legacy to be
that you were tough but fair on the middle east.
Got it, tough and fair on the middle east.
Is it cool if I refer to my opponent
as a "little candy ass"?
I could say, "I'm gonna check your little candy ass
"into the smackdown hotel."
I'm gonna go
do something that's not...
You having ideas, so...
But good luck. Kill it. (Snickers)
So, no, I'm not for combining
the police department and the fire department
into a super unit
called "the fire police,"
as cool as that sounds.
Thank you, candidate Johnson.
Let's move on to the next question.
If elected, what do you want your legacy to be?
Yes.
Middle east.
We'll begin with you, senator taft.
Well, as the great-great- great grandson
of president William Howard taft,
I know a thing or two about legacy.
And carrying forward that proud history,
I'll turn pain into strength
and setbacks into victories.
Meanwhile, my opponent is a movie star
who lets his stunt doubles fight his battles for him.
Okay, as a fitness advocate,
let me first point out
that William Howard taft
was the only president
to ever get stuck in his own bathtub.
I'm sorry, pics or it didn't happen, Mr. Johnson.
It's a fact. The other fact, america,
is that no one has had to fight more than I have.
I come from along line of fighters.
Let me take a quick moment to tell you a little story
about my family.
Adult Dwayne it started with my grandmother,
the first female wrestling promoter in the country.
No one was tougher than her.
She set the tone.
Lia. Lonnie mcgill.
Thank you for meeting me.
Bob tells me you've been calling the office
every day since battle royale, leaving messages.
I wanna do what you do.
After 40 years of slinging insurance, I retired.
And me and the missus thought,
"why not finally do something that we love?"
So she's growing cucumbers,
and I'm trying to get into the wrestling promotion biz.
And I figured, who better to talk to
than the queen of Hawaiian wrestling?
Nice story.
Here's why you're really here.
Lia: You heard Greg yao was trying to steal my wrestlers.
First, king Kong Bundy...
Man: He signed a deal to wrestle for yao.
Lia: Then junkyard dog.
He upgraded me to the radisson.
Lia: He even tried to take rocky.
It says "number 1," 'cause that's what you'll be
when you sign with me.
And you say, "hey, I wanna get in on that too."
I'm sorry? You see me as weak.
"What's grandma gonna do?
"Hit me with her purse?"
That's what you say to yourself.
I... that doesn't sound like me.
You know how a queen keeps her throne?
By ruling with an iron fist.
(Upbeat music playing)
(Sighs) Excuse me.
She's a bad mama jama
adult Dwayne now, obviously, my grandmother was not afraid
to get her hands dirty.
Neither was I.
(Upbeat music playing)
Young Dwayne: Damn.
I need that.
I need a boogie board.
Adult Dwayne: But sometimes she would go too far,
and she knew it.
Today, my mom left you mangoes.
Look, she pre-sliced some of them the way you like it.
Why does she keep leaving fruit?
Why doesn't she just talk to me?
She's ashamed.
She uses big fruit to intimidate people,
and small fruit to apologize to people.
She lets the fruit do the talking.
I can't believe she thought I would stab her
in the back and sign an exclusive contract with yao.
I mean, if anything, I'm the one that should be mad
about that screwjob she pulled on me at the battle royale.
What the hell are you doing?
Lia changed finish last minute.
I saw you with yao.
I double-cross you before you could double-cross me!
I did meet with yao.
You are a degenerate scumbag loser
with bad hair and a cocaine problem.
Rocky...
Honey, yeah, I think she does think you're mad.
That's why she feels so bad.
Oh. Good.
Ugh, that red light is back.
It's been blinking since yesterday.
It's driving me crazy!
Just call the front desk. They'll fix it.
Or throw a towel over it.
Oh, hey, I spoke with Vince
about my run in the New York territory.
He wants to pair me up with Tony atlas,
and if things go well,
set us up to be future tag team champs. (Chuckles)
Oh, remind me to call Tony,
and tell him to stop talking about women's feet in public.
"Rocky Johnson,
"wwf tag team champion" sounds pretty good.
So does "ata Johnson, star search champion."
It's been a couple weeks. When are you gonna hear back
from that audition tape you sent in?
I'm not holding my breath.
I'm sure they just threw it in the trash.
Hey, now you can't think that way.
(Crumpung) Oh.
Dewey, did you put this under my pillow?
That's where that is.
I was looking for it.
We've been through this. You're too young.
Ugh, not the age thing again.
Hey, careful!
That towel is there for a reason.
I've seen kids half my age riding these.
You've seen a five year old on the open ocean boogie boarding?
Hey, remember when Dewey was five,
and I used to let him sit on my lap
and "drive" the car? (Chuckles)
What are you talking about?
I don't know.
I just walked in mid-conversation
and wanted to be in the mix.
It started blinking a day ago.
I think you need to replace the phone.
Your phone's not broken.
The red light means you have a message.
A message? But I pressed the red light.
Nothing happened. No, no.
You have to press the button with the envelope.
The envelope? I thought that was
to summon the mailman? It's fine.
I'm listening to your message, right now.
It's some lady named...
Star search?
(Gasps)
She loved your tape. (Gasps)
She's inviting you to come to Los Angeles
for an in-person audition. Oh, my god!
What is it? A spider?
Star search loved my audition!
Yes!
And the phone's not broken!
Yes!
(Bothlaugh)
And your dry cleaning's ready to be picked up.
Uh-huh. Okay, thank you.
They're flying me to la tomorrow
for the second round of auditions.
They want me to sing my original song
I auditioned with, and prepare a second song,
a cover. My sharona.
Don't go breaking my heart.
I need to make a list of emergency contacts.
I need to write out Dewey's allergies.
Oh, you need to forgive my mom.
Oh, uh, why is that a thing?
Because it's time,
and we need her to watch Dewey while I'm gone.
I'll get her to go to the beach,
find you a beautiful apology seashell,
she can rinse it and wrap it...
Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe?
I got time before Vince needs me in New York.
I can watch Dewey.
You've never watched me before.
Boy, yes I have.
No, youhavent haventl?
Definitely not. You haven't.
Oh. Huh.
Okay, well, we'll start right now.
It'll be easy. The boy's 10,
he's practically grown.
He's still a little boy.
Who are you calling a little boy?
I can pick you up. (Scoffs)
Oh, hey, no, no, no, no, no!
(G roans) Stop.
Look, I was 13 when I went out on my own.
Now, I'm sure Dewey can handle being watched
by his own father for a few days.
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
You can have some father-son bonding time.
That's right, ah!
The Johnson boys are gonna hit the town!
(Chuckles)
I'm only talking spaghetti and go-carts, baby.
Okay, so, I'd like to bring us back
to the boogie board idea.
If dad left home at 13,
feels like I can lie down on a piece of foam
shaped like a pac-man ghost
and feel the joy of being pushed by a wave.
Okay. You can get the boogie board.
Yes!
And to celebrate my good news,
I'm taking the family to Lorenzo's tonight
for a nice dinner.
Great idea, baby!
Ha, I love it.
Ooh! (Chuckles)
That's how you do it, son.
And I'm inviting my mother.
Mmm-hmm.
Adult Dwayne: Even though it wasn't my mom's fight,
she was the best at bringing our family back together.
I gotta say, Lia,
this is one beautiful apology shell. Thank you.
Peter gave it to me
when I caught him watching women's volleyball.
I'm so happy we squashed this.
Hlneverdoubt your loyalty again.
Ah, water under the bridge. That's right.
We are family. Family.
Always got your back.
Your back will always be had.
Young Dwayne: Are you guys done?
Can I please have some of grandma's attention now?
Sorry. Mmm, go ahead.
Look at my new boogie board, grandma!
My goodness, sweetheart. I love it!
Her name's Tanya.
So wonderful.
I had something very similar when I was a kid,
but it was a piece of driftwood.
(Laughs)
I can't believe this is happening.
I can't believe I'm going to la
to try out for star search.
That's wonderful, ia'u pepe.
Your father used to say your voice was so special.
Thank you, mom.
You'd be so proud, Peter.
This is all for you.
And while you're gone,
rocky and I are going to plot
a revenge against yao.
Rocky: I already took his cowboy boots.
He'll be feeling that for a while.
That's only the beginning.
Next, we're gonna crush his spirit.
Mom, you can't do that.
Yao is after our business.
Your father's business and our family legacy.
In this family, we stand up for ourselves.
Isn't that right?
That's right. Definitely.
He must pay.
"He must pay"?
What are you planning to do? Nothing.
Then why are you smiling like that?
No reason.
Yao: No!
What?
Oh, my god.
My bird of fire!
My Greek gods and goddesses!
Sugar's corrosive on a clear coat!
Justdechnedtheinsurance onthese.
(Waves rumbling)
Adult Dwayne: Now, some fights you choose...
And some fights, they choose you.
Hey. I'm sebi.
Hi, sebi. I'm Dewey,
and this is my boogie board...
Kenny wants to fight you.
Adult Dwayne: I didn't know who Kenny was
or even why he wanted to fight me,
but, like my grandmother said,
in our family, we always stand up for ourselves.
Hell yeah, I'll fight him.
Who's Kenny? That's Kenny.
By the way, I'm not affiliated with him.
He stole my shaved ice and said
he wouldn't give it back until I...
Can't talk. My ride's here.
Sebi: You missed that one!
I know, sebi!
(Singing) I know it's not your way
hey, sorry to interrupt.
I know you said this is the perfect acoustic chamber
for you to practice yoursong,
but it's also the perfect chamber for something else,
if you know what I mean.
I just need five more minutes.
You know what? I love you so much,
I'll give you six.
Ata: (Continues singing) Not your way
they took Tanya!
Who's Tanya? My boogie board.
Who did?
Kenny, heard you wanted to fight.
You're in my surf spot.
If you don't want to get your ass kicked,
you gotta pay the price.
Pay the price? What price?
Fifty bucks.
And your boogie board.
Well, I don't have any money,
so, you sure as hell ain't getting that.
Looks like we're gonna have to settle this another way.
Adult Dwayne: I was ready to fight Kenny.
Hey, yo. Check this kid out.
Adult Dwayne: But Kenny rolls deep.
Thinks he can take on thelocalboys.
Ad u it dwayn e: Uh-oh.
Your board...
Is gonna make a great present for my mistress.
They cut my leash, took my board, and beat my ass.
They were gonna Bury me up to my neck in the sand,
but I ran away.
I'm sorry, dad. Hey.
Never apologize for standing up for yourself.
Oh, no, iwasn't apologizing about that.
I was saying sorry becausellost
oh, okay, good. Yeah, I'm glad I fought.
Good, good. Um, listen, Dewey.
Let's not tell your mom about this.
She's got a lot going on right now,
and we don't want her to worry.
But as soon as she leaves for the airport,
you and I will deal with those kids.
Lia? Yao called.
He says he wants to have a sit-down with you.
I think our threats worked.
He says he wants to end this beef.
I already know what I'm gonna wear.
(Western music playing)
Lia. Bob.
Greg. Drab boots.
They're temporary. Okay?
I'm having new ones custom-made.
I'm just waiting for this special African yellow dye...
We're indoors, take your hat off.
And show some respect.
I know you're the one who's been threatening me
and damaging my property.
Then you stay away from my wrestlers.
I run the Hawaii territory,
and if you want to put on a match, you go through me.
(Scoffs) I don't work for you anymore.
You think because you take my wrestlers
that we are equals?
I am a shark, and you are...
Bob, what's the name of those small fish?
Guppy no, no, no.
The ones that attach themselves to the sharks
and eat their leftovers.
Oh, remora? Yes.
You are remora.
And you eat what I let you eat.
You know, this business is tough.
People die in this business.
My husband, he died because of this business.
Didn't Peter die of cancer?
He died how I say he died!
Okay. Fine.
Just tell me what you want me to do.
Pay.
You rent the rings and the venues through me.
You book my wrestlers,
and you pay my tribute fee of $5,000.
I don't have that kind of money lying around.
Then get it!
Hi, Lia. What are you having today?
Oh, good morning, Marisa.
I'll have silver dollar pancakes short stack
with a side of sausage.
Home fries with gravy.
I'll have a Cobb salad...
No, no, nothing for him. He's leaving.
Hey, you tell Bob when you have it.
(Upbeat music playing)
(Tires screeching)
(Knocks)
And I keep some extra money in a coffee can
in the closet, just in case.
Oh, don't let Dewey eat too many mangoes.
He's mildly allergic. He gets puffy lips.
Please check in on my mom. She's under so much pressure.
I will. I'm really worried abouther
you just concentrate on this audition.
(Sighs) I'm gonna blow the doors off star search.
Oh, I know that's right.
I'm so proud of you!
Good luck, mom. Oh.
Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much. Hmm.
I'll see you in a few days, okay?
See you in a few days. Well, hopefully not.
What do you mean? I mean,
hopefully this is just the beginning.
You kill the audition, they put you on the show,
a label signs you, you go on tour!
I mean, how cool would that be?
Both of us on tour, you with your music,
me with the wwf?
Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
But that's the dream, right?
Right. I... I...
So, ifwe're on tour, what about Dewey?
Uh, he'll split time between me and you.
Sometimes he'll stay with your mom.
We'll figure it out.
So, I just wouldn't see him half the time?
No, no, not half. (Chuckles)
You wouldn't see him, like, 40% of the time.
But... but don't worry about that right now.
That's in the future. This is just the beginning.
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. It's just the beginning.
Okay. All right, bye, baby.
I love you both so much. Bye, mom.
Now, you drive safe. You got precious cargo.
Bye, babe. There she goes. Bye.
(Sighs)
All right. Show me those punks whojumped you.
Adult Dwayne: Let me tell you, if you were ever jumped by a gang of bullies
you wanted rocky Johnson in your corner.
There they are. Hey!
Heard y'all jumped my boy.
That's a bitch-ass move.
Eight against one.
Now, listen up. My son
would kick the crap out of any one of you
one-on-one, and he'll do it right now.
And I heard one of y'all pulled a knife!
No one pulled a knife on your...
You shut the hell up!
Y'all like knives, huh?
(Chuckles) Well...
I got the knife now.
That's what I thought.
Dewey! Get your board.
All right! Dewey and Dewey's dad!
Sebi, are you okay?
I'm buried straight down, but I'm fine.
I'm clapping right now.
You can't see, but I am.
Anytime, one-on-one.
Anytime.
Dad, that was amazing.
Sebi: Bye, Dewey! Thank you, dew.
We believe in standing up for ourselves in this family.
But sometimes, the fight isn't always fair.
When that happens, know I always got your back.
Dad, do you wanna go boogie boarding with me?
No, son. You know I don't like to get my hair wet.
(Waves crashing)
Announcer: Aloha. Flight 24 will be boarding shortly.
(Announcer continues talking indistinctly)
You into surfing?
Oh. (Chuckles)
No, I just got my son one of those, uh, boogie boards.
Uh, that'll be $6.50.
He's not here with me. My son.
But I thought he'd like the magazine when I get back.
I'm only gone a few days.
And, you know, if! Have to be gone longer next time,
we'll figure it out. (Chuckles)
I mean, when I was growing up, we traveled all the time.
My dad was a wrestler and my mom and I were on the road
constantly with him, and it was fine.
Of course, my mom was always with me.
She was that steady presence.
I remember that made me feel like
no matter where we were,
that was home.
That's sweet.
Please take the change from my hand.
(Chuckles)
(Coins clinking)
(Knocking at door)
Mom? What are you doing here?
I have bad news.
Star search called and changed their mind.
Really?
Wait, they called you at the airport?
Yep. Announced it over the loudspeaker.
Said they made a mistake and accepted
too many talented people,
but they're gonna keep me in mind for the future.
I'm sorry, mom.
Are you sad? No.
Because now I get to be here with you.
Mmm.
Did you have some good bonding time with your dad?
Yeah. We had fun at the beach.
Is that a knife? Let's sing a song together.
Sure.
Yourfavorhe? (Chuckles) Yeah.
(Singing) Don't go breaking my heart
I couldn't if I tried
oh, honey, if I get restless...
Baby, you're not that kind
(laughs)
Both: Don't go breaking my heart
adu it dwayn e: Ultimately, my mom decided the fight
to become a star could wait.
It wasn't worth losing these moments with her family.
(Both continue singing and laughing)
Lia: Francine, go pee-pee for mama.
No, don't lick my shoes.
Go pee-pee.
Hey, Lia.
Hey. Where's Dewey?
He's relaxing at the hotel.
But I got these for you.
Ooh. Yao's boots.
Look how they glow in the moonlight.
Ooh, look how the pores in the leather accept the dye.
(Chuckles)
Anyway, how is everything? You okay?
I think I finally got everything under control.
Good.
'Cause ata was worried about some of the stuff
you were saying at the restaurant.
I shouldn't have said those things in front of her.
But, you know, Peter built polynesian pacific pro wrestling.
And I won't let it be torn down.
No one can question, you are one badass woman, Lia.
Respected, feared,
loathed, andloved.
I like that.
Put it on a t-shirt. (Chuckles)
Come on. Help me put on my new boots.
(Camera shutter clicking)
Adult Dwayne: Sometimes, when you think a fight has just been won,
you find out it's only just beginning.
(Knocking)
Did you hear, FBI? Did you get it?
We got her asking you for a tribute fee,
which sounds to me like extortion.
Yes, good!
So you can arrest her? Yeah.
If we can get more, we have a better chance
of making sure the charges stick.
Adult Dwayne: My grandmother didn't know it,
but her biggest fight was yet to come.
(Camera shutter clicks)
My whole life, I've watched my family
fight to keep what's theirs,
fight to keep us together,
and fight to keep their dreams alive.
And, as president, I will follow their example,
and I will always fight for the American people.
And that's what I hope my legacy will be.
That was your "quick story"?
You exceeded your allotted time by, what, 20 minutes?
Yes. Thank you very much.
(Audience cheering and applauding)
Interviewer: Thank you, candidate Johnson.
Let's move on to the next question.
(Chuckles)
(Smacks lips)