1 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:06,798 (News music playing) 2 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,801 Good evening. I'm Randall park. 3 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:12,346 Candidate Dwayne Johnson finds himself embroiled 4 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,515 in controversy today over the announcement 5 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,308 of his vice presidential running mate, 6 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,268 general Monica Jackson. 7 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,520 As a west point cadet, 8 00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:21,730 general Jackson wrote a weekly humor column 9 00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:24,191 for the school newspaper called just joking, 10 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,651 where she offered up 11 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,320 "witticisms of mass destruction". 12 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:29,821 Yeah. 13 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:32,533 Randall, we have vetted general Jackson thoroughly, 14 00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:33,992 and I've seen her column. 15 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:35,118 Even this one, 16 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:38,497 where she calls UN secretary general kofi annan 17 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,123 "a weak cup of kofi"? 18 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,893 Look, clearly she's not my running mate 19 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,085 for her sense of humor. 20 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,088 She's here because we have a shared vision for the country. 21 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,851 Well, as someone who's familiar with comedy 22 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,174 from my acting days, 23 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,968 I know how polarizing it can be. 24 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,594 Amy polarizing. 25 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,097 (Laughs) That's good! Yeah. 26 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,015 That is good. Get in here. That's good. Okay. 27 00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:58,642 Thank you so much. You're welcome. 28 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,519 Awesome. Uh, where you going? 29 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,164 We still have an interview, I think, right? 30 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,857 Oh, oh, sorry. No, I... I... I just got excited. 31 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,025 Caught up in the moment. 32 00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:08,151 Yeah. It was a good joke. 33 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:09,278 Thank you, thank you. 34 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,738 Anyway, so certain factions are calling on you 35 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,490 to choose a new running mate, 36 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,284 saying that Jackson lacks the credibility 37 00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:16,410 to be vice president. 38 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,287 Look, she's still my partner in this thing, 39 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:20,163 and I don't leave my partners behind. 40 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,999 Mmm. Hopkins taught me that one. 41 00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:23,208 Hopkins? Yeah. 42 00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:24,835 Yes, yes, Hopkins, Hopkins. 43 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,212 Your costar in the scorpion king, right? 44 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:28,672 No one named Hopkins on that one. 45 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,341 Right, no, no. That's not Hopkins. 46 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:33,552 Hopkins was... 47 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:34,779 You know, Randall, it might be easier 48 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,013 if I just told you the story. 49 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,223 Right. (Laughs) 50 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,892 1991, I was playing football for the university of Miami. 51 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,328 (Music playing) Man: (Rapping) Miami bass, bass, bass 52 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:43,496 adult Dwayne: So I've been open 53 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,148 about how badly I handled my first semester of college, 54 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,151 getting injured and almost flunking out of school. 55 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,570 I was spending the off-season rehabbing 56 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:53,155 and getting myself back on track 57 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:56,241 and ready for a new season with new teammates. 58 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,868 You Dwayne Johnson? 59 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,287 Yeah, who's asking? 60 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,415 Warren sapp, freshman tight end. 61 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,251 Miami bass, bass, bass, bass 62 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,170 future bench-press record holder. 63 00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,213 Oh, you think you got it? 64 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,007 Man, get your sharpie ready. (Laughs) 65 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:13,800 Okay, freshman. I don't want no excuses. 66 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,164 I know you already been working. 67 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:16,404 Don't worry. You won't hear any. 68 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,680 Uh-huh. Let's get it. 69 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:19,765 (Grunts) 70 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,434 This is so easy. So easy. 71 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,728 I'm thinking about what I'm about to have for lunch. 72 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,563 I wish I had a book. I'd start reading it. 73 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:27,957 Adult Dwayne: I was feeling strong, 74 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,900 couldn't wait for the next season to start. 75 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,193 My parents were so excited, 76 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,487 they even watched tapes of our practice scrimmages. 77 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,405 Whoo-hoo! Something happen on that play? 78 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,948 Yes, Dewey didn't get hurt! 79 00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:42,829 Ooh, you know! Yeah, you like that, Dewey? 80 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,373 What about this? 81 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,588 You know what those grades mean? 82 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,382 You're still on academic probation. 83 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,818 Coach 0, how did you get my grades? Aren't they private? 84 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,637 Nothing's private from me, son. This ain't no joke now. 85 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,889 Not only do you need to get these grades up, 86 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,367 you need to show the school your appreciativeness 87 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,725 to even letting you play. 88 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,286 Like compliment them on the renovations 89 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,270 they made to the administration building. 90 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:10,982 You are making me so mad, Dwayne. 91 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,277 You need to volunteer. 92 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,738 Do something to help the university. 93 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,342 Show them your dedication to the school 94 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:19,700 goes beyond football. 95 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:20,992 Here. 96 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,121 Call this guy. 97 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,329 Tell him you want to help out with campus security. 98 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,750 This is real important, Dewey. You can't mess this up. 99 00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,460 Uh, coach, this is your card. 100 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,671 What? Oh. 101 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,172 Kind of looks like me, don't it? 102 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,384 Yeah, I found that on the clip art. 103 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,052 There, that face. 104 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,655 Adult Dwayne: While I was doing whatever! Had to 105 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:41,972 to keep playing football, 106 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,932 my grandmother was returning to the u. S. 107 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:47,102 After years of exile in Samoa. 108 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,496 Could you take your hat off, please? 109 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,313 Why? It's obscuring your face. 110 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,607 Are you hitting on me? Ma'am. 111 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:54,151 Fine. 112 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:55,986 And where are you coming from? 113 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,281 Where am I coming from? Hell, that's where. 114 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,074 Lia: For almost two years in Samoa, 115 00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:04,161 I was homeless and sleeping on people's couches, 116 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:07,622 and at night, I would stare up in the stars, 117 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,958 thinking about getting back to my family, 118 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,836 and then one day I heard from my daughter. 119 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,422 She told me that my grandson had found a way 120 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,299 to get me back into the country. 121 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,009 My prayers had been answered. 122 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,430 Okay, so, under "countries visited," 123 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,223 I'm just gonna put Samoa. 124 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,227 Idiot. 125 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,563 Stupid. 126 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,398 Okay, wait. I'm confused. 127 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,609 How did you get her back into the country 128 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,492 if she was deported by the federal government? 129 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,363 Let's just say that I found a little loophole in the law, 130 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,199 and she became a citizen again. 131 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,992 Can I ask a follow-up question? 132 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,535 I wouldn't. Just a quick one. 133 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,138 Was Hopkins somehow involved in all that? 134 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:49,581 No, he wasn't. I hadn't met Hopkins yet. 135 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:50,791 I was about to. 136 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,594 Adult Dwayne: Coach's contact pulled through 137 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,503 and helped me get a job in campus security 138 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,047 in a department called "phone services". 139 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,674 You'll be checking the emergency phones on campus 140 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,051 to make sure they're operational. 141 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,279 Okay, so I just have to... Don't worry, I'm gonna have one 142 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,472 of our most experienced techs train you. 143 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,474 Hopkins! 144 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,938 Hopkins! Hopkins! 145 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,248 That's Hopkins. That's Hopkins. 146 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,732 Come on, give me some. 147 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,818 (Laughs) All right, yes! 148 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,378 Where you going? We're still doing the interview. 149 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:20,797 Oh, that's right. You're totally right. 150 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,901 That's right. That's right. 151 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,657 There we go. Okay, sorry about that. 152 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,991 Itsokay justgotexcned. 153 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,077 It's Hopkins. Hopkins! 154 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,871 Hopkins, this is your new partner, Dwayne Johnson. 155 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,873 I don't need a partner. I'm good, thanks. 156 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,626 This isn't a choice, Hopkins. This is an assignment. 157 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,338 Get somebody else to take him. 158 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,992 I've got seniority, for god sakes. 159 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:41,883 Come on. 160 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:42,968 Show Dwayne the ropes. 161 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,471 Just eight months to graduation. 162 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,242 So we just check the phone and... 163 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,685 Okay, here's the deal. None of that matters. All right? 164 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,928 We write our names on that sign-in sheet every morning, 165 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,748 get the list of phones we're supposed to check, 166 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,708 then go home and watch movies until it's time to sign out. 167 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,359 What? But Justin said that... 168 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,320 He has to say that, but he knows the deal. 169 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:03,488 We look out for each other. 170 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,866 Now that I've told you, you're a part of that circle. 171 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,702 Look, this job is keeping me on the football field. 172 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:11,121 If you're messing with my chances to get to the NFL, 173 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,539 I will kill you. 174 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,624 Just take it easy, big fella, all right? 175 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,668 Just follow my lead, and everything will be fine. 176 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:20,130 The only thing I need to know is, do you like action movies? 177 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,756 Of course I like action movies. 178 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,175 Then welcome to the greatest scam in college history. 179 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,139 (Sirens wailing on TV) 180 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,641 Hopkins: Whoa! Yo, you sure about this? 181 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,894 We just watch movies and then go back and sign out 182 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,145 at the end of our shift? 183 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,206 You sure we don't have to check any campus phones? 184 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,733 Look here, man. I used to check the phones like a good soldier 185 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,110 my first few months here, and you know what I found? 186 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,696 They worked. If they don't, somebody'd tell us. 187 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,740 We're entirely unnecessary. 188 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:50,076 Trust me, I've been doing this a long time, almost a year. 189 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,497 (Gun firing on TV) 190 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,000 (Chuckles) This flick is good. 191 00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,835 Not as good as Schwarzenegger's... 192 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,253 Best action star of all time. 193 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,213 No, Stallone, all day. 194 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,965 This isn't a debate. It's a fact. 195 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:07,177 Uh, it's a fact that my guy could take your guy 196 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,596 via land, sea, air, and time. 197 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,251 Say your daughter gets kidnapped 198 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,058 by a Latin American dictator. Okay. 199 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,435 You can send one guy to save her, who do you pick? 200 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,561 Rambo. Mmm-mmm. 201 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,438 He's experienced in tropical environments. 202 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,023 He's escaped a pow camp. 203 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,858 He knows how to deal with a loose Cannon. 204 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,694 Rambo knows Vietnam. He doesn't know South America. 205 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,321 And, yeah, he escaped a pow camp, 206 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,882 but he lost his best friends in the process. 207 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,240 'Cause he was double-crossed! 208 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,676 Schwarzenegger doesn't make excuses. 209 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,260 Oh, but I'm sure you will for red Sonja. 210 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,871 Two beautiful foreigners with swords getting revenge? 211 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,247 I don't see a problem. 212 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:37,707 (Bomb exploding on TV) Ooh! 213 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:41,127 Here we are! 214 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,965 (Grunts) Why are these so heavy? 215 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,758 It's the wood for my carvings. 216 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,177 So, we have a surprise. 217 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,762 We've called some of the old crew, 218 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,138 and they're all coming to town. 219 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,057 We're throwing you a barbecue this weekend. 220 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:55,850 Who's gonna man the grill? 221 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,186 Why is that everyone's first question? 222 00:07:58,269 --> 00:07:59,854 Who cares who mans the grill? 223 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,607 Ah, Dewey. 224 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,401 I can't wait to see him. 225 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,331 Won't be long before you're able to see him 226 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,571 play football on TV on Saturday. 227 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,740 You hear that, high chief? 228 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:14,703 Your grandson, big star, playing football on TV. 229 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:15,996 How much he get paid? 230 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,139 Nothing. They don't get paid in college. 231 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,459 Stupid. You made me bore the high chief with stupid news? 232 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,503 You know how busy he is in heaven? 233 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,588 Schwarzenegger on TV: You son of a bitch. 234 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,469 He's no Stallone, but your guy Schwarzenegger can deliver a catchphrase. 235 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,679 Hell, yeah, he can. 236 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,657 (Imitates Schwarzenegger) Get to the chopper. Get to the chopper. 237 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,433 Get to the chopper. Get to the chopper. 238 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,518 Get to the chopper! Get to the chopper! 239 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,145 Yeah! 240 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,123 Hopkins: Oh, there it is, there it is. It's coming, it's coming. 241 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:44,065 Oh! Yes! 242 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,943 (The touch by Stan bush playing) 243 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,635 (Young Dwayne laughs) Hopkins: Watch this. 244 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,202 Hopkins: Oh! Ahhh! 245 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,579 (Both laughing) 246 00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,415 You've never walked you've never run 247 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,460 you're a winner 248 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,854 Schwarzenegger: Kill me! I'm here! 249 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,338 Come on, do it now! Kill me! 250 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,549 (Yells) 251 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,676 (Laughs) 252 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,470 You have to cut the ground wire. 253 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,473 It's the blue wire with the white stripe. 254 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,142 You got the power 255 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,310 yes! 256 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,394 You got the touch 257 00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,856 you see, the mud is what protects you. 258 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,067 No, I don't... iwould've seen him regardless. 259 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,086 It's invisibility. You would not have seen him. 260 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,504 Young Dwayne: Bro, you don't know my powers. 261 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,865 Says here all the phones are in working order. 262 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,533 You sure about that? 263 00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:36,868 Of course we're sure. 264 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,180 Young Dwayne: I was gonna say, "we have total recall." 265 00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,997 Here you go. Young Dwayne: That's hilarious. 266 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,167 Have a good one. 267 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,963 You guys better hope those phones are working. 268 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,841 That was Amanda Chavez from hq. She's doing quality control. 269 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,802 What do you mean quality control? 270 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,553 She's checking the phones. 271 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:56,679 She's got your checklist, 272 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,157 and she's gonna make sure it's accurate. 273 00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,433 You said no one ever checks. They don't. 274 00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,519 They never do. Well, they are now. 275 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,270 Amanda Chavez is checking your work, 276 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,980 and if anything's off, we're all screwed. 277 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,398 Oh, I can't mess this up. 278 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,193 My football career, my life is on the line. 279 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,945 And I'm saving up for a sega Genesis. 280 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,672 Then you need to get to those phones 281 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,532 before Amanda Chavez does. 282 00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:19,869 Do not screw this up! 283 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,748 God help us if Chavez is wearing her comfortable heels. 284 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,293 (Birds chirping) 285 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,546 (Dramatic music playing) 286 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,214 Move, move, move, move! 287 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,507 Whoa! Excuse me! 288 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,218 Sorry, sorry! 289 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,387 (Birds chirping) 290 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,419 She's halfway to the first phone. 291 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,035 How are we gonna beat her there without her seeing us? 292 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,228 What if we go this way? Jump the arboretum wall? 293 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,413 That bitch is eight feet high! 294 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,915 Or we could go through the natatorium. 295 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,416 Pool. Man, the lifeguards will make us walk. 296 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:50,918 Well, the arboretum or the natatorium? 297 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,861 The arboretum or the natatorium? 298 00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,195 Make the call! The arboretum! 299 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,488 Okay. 300 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:56,823 (Grunts) 301 00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,617 (Birds chirping) 302 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,395 (Line trilling) All right, itworks. 303 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,456 Hey, Hopkins, look. 304 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,476 Hopkins: What's she doing over there? 305 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,585 She changed her route. 306 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,503 She's headed to the phone by the library. 307 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:15,550 Hopkins: Damn it! 308 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,278 It doesn't make any sense. Why would she do that? 309 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,720 We're dealing with a loose Cannon. 310 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:21,323 Hopkins: She's heading to the phone on the other side of the Plaza. 311 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,683 She's almost there. What do we do? (Marching band playing) 312 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,852 Igotanidea. 313 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,271 You move those cones and reroute the band to block her. 314 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,434 I'm gonna cut through the building to beat her there. 315 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,651 (Marching band playing) 316 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,289 Oh, uh... 317 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,501 (Humming) 318 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,588 It's up to you now, Johnson. 319 00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:57,884 Today we're gonna be talking about electromagnetic force. 320 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,845 (Dramatic music playing) 321 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,972 Excuse me, can we help you? 322 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,682 Uh, no need, all good. 323 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,226 What is your name? 324 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,602 Warren sapp! 325 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,439 (Holding out for a hero by Bonnie Tyler playing) 326 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,901 (Line trilling) 327 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,661 Where have all the good men gone? 328 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,622 And where are all the gods? 329 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,290 Where's the streetwise Hercules 330 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:30,458 (line trilling) 331 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,710 To fight the rising odds? 332 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:39,676 Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? 333 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:40,760 (Line trilling) 334 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:43,221 Late at night, I toss and I turn 335 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,848 and I dream of what I need 336 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,351 I need a hero 337 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:52,689 I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light 338 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,650 he's got to be sure and it's got to be soon 339 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:58,528 and he's got to be larger than life 340 00:12:58,653 --> 00:12:59,988 Hopkins. What? 341 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,281 Put your feet down. 342 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:04,951 Oh. (Chuckles) 343 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,125 (Laughing) 344 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,585 Thank you, baby. Thank you. 345 00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:15,878 I know this sounds crazy, 346 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,602 but I think I might grill up some peaches. 347 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,132 (Cheers) 348 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,926 Is she making peach burgers? Mmm-hmm. 349 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:24,387 Lia, you wouldn't believe how much beefjerky 350 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,806 they make me eat when I shoot one of those commercials. 351 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,308 (Chuckles) Guess how much. 352 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,018 One hundred pounds? 353 00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,602 One hundred p... 354 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,354 No, now, that is a crazy amount ofjerky. 355 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,274 Thirty-eight sticks, yeah. 356 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,442 Ooh. Thirty-eight. 357 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,694 I once ate 38 eggs in a day. 358 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:42,113 Ah, well, there ain't no money in eggs, my brother, 359 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:45,700 but beefjerky did pay for my iambo. 360 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,120 Ran dy: Ooh, yeah! 361 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,414 Billy crystal told me to buy two lamborghinis 362 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,624 and use them as roller skates. (All laughing) 363 00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,460 Sylvester: I'm so glad you called me, Lia. 364 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,463 I didn't think you were ever gonna forgive me for going with Greg yao. 365 00:13:58,546 --> 00:13:59,672 It's funny. 366 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,342 I used to care about things like that, 367 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:05,636 but my time in Samoa... (Sighs) 368 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,306 Mom, you get the first burger off the grill. 369 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,559 Thank you, darling. I'm not hungry. 370 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,896 You okay, Lia? You don't seem like yourself. 371 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,064 What's the matter? 372 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:19,442 (Sighs) Me. I'm the matter. 373 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,944 In Samoa, I had a lot of time to think, 374 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,490 and I realized the most important thing is family. 375 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,617 Nothing else matters. 376 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,994 Now that I've come home, 377 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,622 I see how I failed my family. 378 00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:34,457 Mama, you didn't fail us. 379 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,251 I wanted to keep Peter's dream alive, 380 00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:40,546 his business was our legacy. And I didn't do that. 381 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,465 He shouldn't have left it to me. 382 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:43,984 Oh, no, don't say that. Don't say that. 383 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,468 No, it's true. 384 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,097 I mean, we live in a two-bedroom apartment in tonka. 385 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,598 Tampa. Andre: Lia. 386 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,726 You gave me a place to stay when I had nowhere else to go. 387 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:54,894 I'll never forget that. 388 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,814 Playing cards in your kitchen was some of the best times of my life. 389 00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,441 Auntie, you loaned us money and helped us get started, 390 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,777 remember? And I completely betrayed you, 391 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,463 but you still found it in your heart 392 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,905 to welcome me back to the family. 393 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,532 When Peter was alive, 394 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,159 I never did see the wrestling business as his. 395 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,787 He needed you, baba, same as you needed him. 396 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,415 Peter would have been proud of the way you fought for us. 397 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,584 To Lia and Peter. 398 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,962 All: Lia and Peter. 399 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,005 Thank you, boys. 400 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,591 Now, can someone get me a hamburger? I'm starving. 401 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,176 Mom, your hamburger's right here! 402 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,679 Oh, right, right, right. 403 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:34,267 You know, I am full on the love and the well wishes. 404 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,978 (All laughing) 405 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,980 Who wants a peach burger? 406 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,607 Ata: Come on, Randy, you get in there. 407 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,318 (All laughing) 408 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:47,780 Got eyes on Chavez. 409 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,591 She stopped for a coffee break at the student center. 410 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,593 We should have plenty of time to check this last phone. 411 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,077 Let's get it done, son. We got this. 412 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,706 (Bicycle bell dings) (Shouts in slow motion) 413 00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,333 (Slowed down) No! 414 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,920 Hopkins, can you hear me? (Groans) 415 00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:04,547 Hophns! Ihearyou, man! 416 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,424 It's my leg, not my ears! 417 00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,259 Come on, get up. I can't. 418 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:09,820 My leg is busted. Just go, all right? 419 00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:11,364 Just leave me. I'm not gonna leave you. 420 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,764 Would tango leave cash? You can't risk it. 421 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,267 (Grunts) You need this job for football. 422 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:19,103 And you, you need that sega Genesis. 423 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,022 Now come on. 424 00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,900 (Dramatic rock music playing) 425 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,161 (Breathing heavily) 426 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:38,331 Phone services. I'm commandeering this cart. 427 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,375 (Dramatic music playing) 428 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:49,342 Johnson, no, don't do it! Don't do it! Are you crazy? 429 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:50,510 Look out, look out! 430 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,553 Oh! (Brakes squeak) 431 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,141 (Line trilling) (Laughs) 432 00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,560 Yes! We did it. 433 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,646 (Laughs) 434 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:05,024 Oh, man, I'm thinking we need to frame this. 435 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:09,403 Wait. What the hell is that? 436 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,905 There's one more phone, 437 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,216 and it's in the student center. 438 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,450 That's why Chavez went there first. 439 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,327 She wasn't on a coffee break. 440 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,662 She went to check that phone. 441 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,098 You need to get to it before she does. 442 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,207 There's no way. 443 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,930 The path goes all the way around the quad. 444 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,043 It'll take ten minutes. 445 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,753 Not if you cut across on foot. 446 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,214 I've got my walkie. I'll be with you the whole way. 447 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,094 Phone steam ahead. 448 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,596 What? It's word play. 449 00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:55,491 She hasn't checked it yet. 450 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,538 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 451 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:01,914 Damn it! 452 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,627 Hopkins. Hopkins, you there? 453 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,379 Johnson, what's happening in there? 454 00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:11,257 The phone is dead. I don't have much time. 455 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:12,987 Chavez is almost done with her coffee. 456 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,468 Hang on, Johnson. 457 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,681 Come on, pick up the phone. (Phone ringing) 458 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,266 Emergency services, this is Justin. 459 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,560 Justin, it's Hopkins. We've got a broken phone. 460 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:23,745 What do we do? I don't know. 461 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:24,979 It could be a million things. 462 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,182 Just give us a fix, damn it! 463 00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:29,358 Okay, look, nine times out often, it's the wiring. 464 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,736 Try to unscrew the receiver end. 465 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,238 Johnson, unscrew the receiver. 466 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:35,740 Right. 467 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:40,911 Okay. What's next? 468 00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,747 There should be four connected wires... 469 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:46,000 Blue, white, orange, and black. 470 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,209 Do you see those? 471 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,794 Do you see four wires? 472 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:51,505 Blue, white, orange, and black. 473 00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:53,924 Yes, but the blue one and the orange one 474 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,426 aren't connected to anything. 475 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:57,487 The blue one and the orange one aren't connected to anything. 476 00:18:57,511 --> 00:19:00,014 Okay, blue wire goes to the battery. 477 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,808 Orange one goes to the terminal strip. 478 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:04,018 Blue wire to the battery, 479 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,548 orange one to the terminal strip. 480 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,480 Wait, what's the terminal strip? 481 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,732 Isn't that the shady strip club by the airport? 482 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,401 (Feedback whines) 483 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,736 Damn it, she's heading over. 484 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,280 (Radkdcrackung) Johnson? 485 00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:18,199 Johnson! Hophns! 486 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,744 (Feedback whines and stops) 487 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,037 Okay. 488 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,330 Blue wire to the battery. 489 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,541 Which one's the battery? 490 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,919 You got this, Johnson. Here goes nothing. 491 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,020 (Heartbeat pounding) 492 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,784 We did it! 493 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,411 (Whoops and chuckles) 494 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:04,829 Yes! 495 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,959 Heard the Gulf war is going well. 496 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,379 Whoa, that was intense. 497 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:14,940 Bet your ass it was intense, Randall. 498 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,632 (Laughs) My life has been intense. 499 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,343 That's why I surround myself with people I trust. 500 00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,307 When times are tough, you don't get rid of them. 501 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,972 You weather out the storm together. 502 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,474 (Chuckles) So, is Hopkins still in your life? 503 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,935 Oh, yeah! Yeah, we're in a football pool together. 504 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,603 That's beautiful. (Laughs) 505 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:30,730 So, before we go, 506 00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:32,893 do you have any final thoughts about general Jackson? 507 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,234 I know, without hesitation, that when the chips are down, 508 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,903 I want general Monica Jackson by my side. 509 00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:41,449 She is a fighter, she's tough, and she never gives up, 510 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,075 and I have her back. 511 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,160 And when we need it most, 512 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,803 she's gonna have america's back as well. 513 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,330 General Jackson, how much does it mean 514 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,125 to hear Mr. Johnson defend you through these tough times? 515 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,544 It means that we have a presidential candidate 516 00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,713 with integrity and character. 517 00:20:56,422 --> 00:21:00,009 And I can't think of a better person to lead our country. 518 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,469 And all this chatter 519 00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:04,722 about my college newspaper column 520 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:08,309 has really got my comedyjuices flowing again. 521 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,938 What? Here's my top ten reasons why Dwayne Johnson 522 00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,106 will be a great leader. 523 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:17,568 Number ten, he will never take you for granite. 524 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,321 Number nine, he rocks. 525 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,448 Number eight... How many more are there? 526 00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:24,366 Eight. 527 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:25,701 Right. 528 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,995 Power to the pebble. Number seven.