1 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,974 Good afternoon. I'm Randall park, 2 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,809 live at the campaign headquarters 3 00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:20,479 of presidential candidate Dwayne Johnson. 4 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,332 Randall, it's good to have you here, buddy. 5 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,525 Well, it's all my "plejure." Pleasure. 6 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,069 Did I say "plejure"? 7 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,238 Uh, yeah, can we do that over? 8 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,632 I just needed a second to warm up. 9 00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:32,741 Mmm-hmm, we're live. 10 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,077 Oh. 11 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,413 Yes, of course, we are live. 12 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:41,750 It's been a while since my live theater days, 13 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,211 since I played mercutio in Romeo and Juliet. 14 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,880 "True, I talk of dreams, which are the children 15 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:48,590 "of an idle brain, 16 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:52,928 "begot of nothing but vain fantasy." 17 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,558 Yes, yes. "And thusly the night." 18 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,477 I had the skull, and I was, like, 19 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,604 "uh, you're a skull." 20 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,690 We're live. We're... we're live. 21 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,316 We're still live. Ye... oh, yes. 22 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,818 We are still live. That's right. 23 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,028 So, we've heard rumblings that you're close 24 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,530 to choosing your vp. 25 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,373 We're very excited to make that announcement. 26 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,847 Pretty soon we're gonna tell america. 27 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,618 So what are the important qualities 28 00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:18,342 that you're looking for in a running mate? 29 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,415 Do you remember that story I told you about the incident? 30 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,083 The one with Jack black and the cows. 31 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,710 Can't get it out of my mind. 32 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,396 Not that one, although that's a great story. 33 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,897 I'm talking about the one where I punched that kid 34 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,423 in high school. Yes. 35 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:32,551 I will never forget it. I was 15 years old, 36 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,720 and clearly I was no angel. 37 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,681 But up until that time, I'd always kept my bad behavior 38 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,475 away from my parents. Not this time. 39 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,561 My dad was away at a wrestling convention, 40 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,229 and my mom found out. 41 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,040 Stephanie: Keep those knees up, jazzers! 42 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,899 E veryone's watching 43 00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,193 ata, I can't believe this is your first class. 44 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,029 You're a natural. 45 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,530 To see what you will do 46 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,656 I'm dying. 47 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:55,824 E veryon e's trying 48 00:01:55,907 --> 00:02:00,078 to get it right get it right 49 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,832 e verybody's working for the weekend 50 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:06,710 Principal Bogg, I'm shocked. 51 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,771 Dewey has never done anything like this in his life. 52 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,047 He's a good boy. 53 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,549 No one is more shocked than me. 54 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,135 I thought for sure Dwayne was an undercover cop. 55 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,846 I was this close to asking him to an eagles game. 56 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,182 So what exactly happened? 57 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,433 I was provoked. 58 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,685 Wrestling's all fake anyway. 59 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,896 Om 60 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,106 Never use the "f" word. 61 00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,126 Principal Bogg: Well, that's one side of the story. 62 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,861 Normally, we'd get the other side from the boy he hit, 63 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,255 but he was rushed to the hospital. 64 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,114 Oh, mygom vveh, notrushed. 65 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:38,033 He was taken at a comfortable speed. 66 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,786 Sort of a relaxed urgency, wouldn't you say, Helen? 67 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,038 Helen: I'd say more composed than relaxed. 68 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,707 Composed urgency. Are you sure it was Dewey? 69 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,542 The victim ID'd him. 70 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,754 Is your attacker in this lineup? 71 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,130 Thatone. 72 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,215 The ogre. 73 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,716 You know we can hear you, right? 74 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,177 I guess we can just call people ogres now. 75 00:02:57,302 --> 00:03:01,139 I'm afraid I'm gonna have to suspend Dwayne for a week. 76 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:05,060 I can assure you, nothing like this will ever happen again. 77 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,770 Right, Dewey? 78 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,855 Where'd you get those pants? 79 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,239 In p.E. Class. 80 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,699 We had a push-up contest, 81 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,062 and the winner got girbaud jeans. 82 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:23,286 Specifically that pair or did you have to give your size? 83 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,497 You know what, forget it. I don't have the energy. 84 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:28,583 Get your homework for the week. I'll be outside. 85 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,961 Ow, my legs. 86 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,881 Dude, this is a huge moment for you. 87 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,218 What do you mean? Fine-ass Karen liked that you punched Kevin, man. 88 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,154 Said it made her feel like cherry from outsiders. 89 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,596 For real? Like, she told you that? 90 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,056 Well, not exactly. 91 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,784 Karen wrote a note that she gave to Bonnie, 92 00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,577 and Bonnie gave that note to me to give to you, 93 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,081 and as you know, I'm a curious George, 94 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,939 so I read it immediately before handing it to you 95 00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:53,233 right now. 96 00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:54,860 Gabe: "That punch was hot. 97 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,296 "If you want, you can buy me a present and take me to dinner. 98 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,822 "00. Those are just the hugs. 99 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,074 "If you want the xx kisses, 100 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,242 "let's see that gift. 101 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,536 "Karen." 102 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,787 I memorized it. 103 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,122 She thinks I'm rich, 104 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,166 solgofia get her a dope present. 105 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,102 Come with me to the mall later, help me find one? 106 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,669 Okay, sure. Where do you wanna meet? 107 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:13,962 Zales. Obviously zales. 108 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,449 I don't even know why I said that. 109 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,187 Dewey, let's go! We're gonna miss the bus! 110 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,552 Dewey, the bus. 111 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,558 I can't beheve this. 112 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,898 Wait till I tell your father when he gets home. 113 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,659 Did you have to broadcast to the whole school that we take the bus? 114 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,566 You just got suspended, and that's what you're concerned about? 115 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,443 Everybody on here is taking the bus. 116 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,986 That guy's probably a lawyer. 117 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:42,240 Sorry. Are you talking to me? 118 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,743 No. Uh... 119 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,665 Let's focus on the real issue here. 120 00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:51,875 Why did you hit that boy? 121 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,293 He was talking trash about us. 122 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,271 He said that wrestling was fake, so I punched him. 123 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,922 That is not okay. 124 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,757 You've never done anything like this before. 125 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,735 Can we not talk about this in front of all these people? 126 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,844 No one is listening to our conversation. 127 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,306 Uh, actually, I am listening. 128 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,476 I went through something similar with my oldest. 129 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,977 Okay, too much bus for me. 130 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,479 What are you doing? 131 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,105 This isn't our stop. 132 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,024 I'm gonna go to the mall, wait for Gabe. 133 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:18,026 You certainly are not. You just got suspended. 134 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,569 Exactly. I can't be atschool 135 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,488 so what does it matter where I am? Dewey. 136 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,535 Whoo! The party's here. 137 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,005 Hello, ata. 138 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,757 How'd you know it was me? Caller ID. 139 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,641 I just got a whole new phone system hooked up. 140 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:43,885 I'm trying to find rocky. 141 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,539 He left this morning to work a wrestling convention in erie 142 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:47,740 and didn't know where he was staying. 143 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,015 Is everything okay? 144 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,618 Dewey got suspended for fighting. 145 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,394 I know. 146 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:53,704 And then, when I was taking him home, 147 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,039 he got off the bus to go to the mall. 148 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,147 To buy you an apology gift? 149 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,191 To hang out with his friend Gabe. 150 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,193 Gabe? I've never met a Gabe in my life. 151 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,637 That's why I want to talk to rocky. 152 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,489 Dewey's such a sweet boy. He's never acted out like this before. 153 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,157 The wild Samoans will know where he is. 154 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,576 Here, I'll loop them in. 155 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,245 I just got three-way calling. Watch. 156 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,500 Hello. Hey, man, it's me and ata. 157 00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:17,252 You know where rocky is out there in erie? 158 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,629 No, brother, but macho man might know. 159 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:23,592 Sika, can we add a three-way call to a three-way call? 160 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,306 Yes. 161 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,182 Ooh, no, sorry. 162 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,977 I'm actually on vacation parasailing with Elizabeth. 163 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,521 You know what. Though, let me try Andre, yeah. 164 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:38,231 I saw rocky last night. Oh? 165 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:41,067 In a dream. He was a baby. 166 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,611 Okay, I really need to talk to him. 167 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,547 Ata, I don't want to put words in rocky's mouth, 168 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,323 but I think I know what he'd say. 169 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:47,741 Boys test boundaries, 170 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,468 and you've got to show him that it's not okay. 171 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,535 I agree. 172 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:52,900 You need to bring the hammer down and nip this in the bud. 173 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,915 Yeah, you got this, ata. 174 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,541 You're the boss. Oh, yeah! 175 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,585 Dig it, yeah! You are a lioness. 176 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,813 Let them hear you roar. 177 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,589 Oh, I've got another call. 178 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,258 Hey, it's Stephanie from jazzercize. 179 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,303 You signed up for an afternoon class and didn't show. 180 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:11,473 Ata, I didn't know you did jazzercise. Oh, it is so good for you. 181 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,516 Sorry, Stephanie. You're on a conference call. 182 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,101 Yeah, ata's son disrespected her, 183 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,625 but she's gonna handle it on her own. 184 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,647 For sure. Right. 185 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,732 He's gonna try and test me? No. 186 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,026 And? I'm the boss of that boy! 187 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,361 I am a lioness! 188 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:30,116 I love how supportive this call is. 189 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,869 While the room's hot, any advice what I should say 190 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,621 to my sister when she asks for money? 191 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,708 I'll just tell her I'm broke. 192 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,048 Oh, that's the stuff Karen likes. 193 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,634 Pink ice. Yeah, how do you know? 194 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,094 Karen told Bonnie, Bonnie told me. 195 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,762 Oh, me and Bonnie are dating now, man. 196 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,907 She liked the way I handled the whole note passing thing. 197 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,266 Dude, that's great. Yo, we should all go on a double date. 198 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,560 That would be amazing. Yo, we could do our bits, man. 199 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,813 Ooh, yeah, after this let's cruise through chess king 200 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,776 so we can five-finger discount some new outfits. 201 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:03,942 Yes, hello. 202 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,193 Pink ice. 203 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,028 Your ladies have exquisite taste. 204 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,238 Oh, not me. 205 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,681 Mine wants a chunky necklace from some place called chico's. 206 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,034 How much is this one? 207 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,286 That's $99.99. 208 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,682 Do you have anything that looks like 209 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,000 it starts with a nine but actually starts with a two? 210 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,669 Let me show you our most affordable option. 211 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:26,089 The stud earrings. There you go. 212 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:30,510 I don't see anything. 213 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,262 Here, let me help you. 214 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,683 Gabe: There. There it is. Do you see it? There. 215 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,560 Ata: Dewey! Uh... 216 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,396 How dare you get off that bus and walk away from me? 217 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,649 As far as you're concerned, I am the law and you will obey me. 218 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,752 Mom, we're in zales. I don't care if we're in zales. 219 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,111 You are grounded for two months. 220 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,676 Two months? And don't think grounding 221 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,458 means you're gonna watch TV and eat waffles. 222 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,259 You're coming with me. I'm putting you to work. 223 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,576 Okay, just calm down. 224 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,745 Do you think you can just tell me to calm down? 225 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,748 Well, I... it doesn't matter what you think! 226 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,041 Come on, let's go. 227 00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,436 And you better be looking at those earrings 228 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,503 as an apology gift for me. 229 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:06,629 You can see those? 230 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,590 I see everything. 231 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:16,973 Ata: You're not done till I can see my face in the reflection. 232 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,059 Yes, ma'am. I'm impressed. 233 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,061 I tried disciplining my daughter once 234 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,480 when she crashed her Audi, but then she crashed my Audi. 235 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:24,939 And now we're down to one Audi. 236 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,500 After we finish here, I'm taking Dewey 237 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,026 to apologize to the boy he hit. 238 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,029 Making amends. Oh, that reminds me. 239 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,465 Did you see the Sally jessy episode 240 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,716 about people who talk to ghosts? 241 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,116 No, I was hoping you recorded it. 242 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,993 Oh, I did, and it's a doozy. 243 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,287 I'll get the tape for you right after 244 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,289 I write you a check for the week. 245 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,793 Is that pug dog a purse? Yes. 246 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,419 Don't you love? It's Judith leiber. 247 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:49,047 She makes Jewel-encrusted bags shaped like fun things. 248 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,218 I've got the frog, the sleeping cat. 249 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:56,346 And I'm on the waitlist for the pork chop. 250 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,431 Oh, they're gorgeous. 251 00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,766 Like feminine trophies. 252 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,601 Mmm-hmm. Dwayne, grab some Polish 253 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,853 and give this purse shelf a once-over. 254 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,272 But I'm mopping. After you mop. 255 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,690 Yes, ma'am. 256 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,860 The "ma'am" is everything. 257 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,464 Young Dwayne: "I'm sorry for what I did to you. 258 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:14,548 "And I know saying I'm sorry 259 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,283 "doesn't excuse the pain that I've caused you, Kevin. 260 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,576 "But I hope in a small way 261 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,662 "it can be a part of the healing process, 262 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:23,581 "and I hope one day you and your family 263 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:25,208 "will be able to forgive me. 264 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,501 "I know itwill be some time 265 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,294 "before I'm able to forgive myself. 266 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,215 "Sincerely, Dwayne Douglas Johnson." 267 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,717 Thank you for that, Dwayne Douglas. 268 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,887 And, yes, I do forgive you. 269 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,460 I'm proud of you for doing that. 270 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:41,599 Thanks, mom. 271 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,268 That was lovely. 272 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,436 His father and I prayed for this moment. 273 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,648 Thank you. I have to say, I'm impressed with how well 274 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,692 you're handling all this as a single mom. 275 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,236 I have a husband. I'm not a single mom. 276 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,572 Oh, I just assumed. You assumed because I'm... 277 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,615 Oh, heavens no. No, not at all. 278 00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,576 No, no. No. 279 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,744 What did you think I was gonna say? 280 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:06,291 What were you gonna say? 281 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,750 Young. Exactly. 282 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,874 No, you don't seem that young, is what I was saying. 283 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,298 But you're youthful. 284 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:18,928 Sorry again, bro. 285 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,558 My dad prayed to god to damn your soul to hell. 286 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:26,686 What? God owes my dad a favor, 287 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,688 and for that favor he asked god 288 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,565 to curse your soul to eternal damnation 289 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:31,816 for laying hands on me. 290 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,320 Just thought you should know. 291 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,491 Gabe: Eternal damnation? 292 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,160 That's a bitch move. 293 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,579 Getting his preacher dad to use his powers like that. 294 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,141 My mom said not to sweat it 'cause she thinks his dad's a racist. 295 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,125 By the way, your mom was like a total badass. 296 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,353 Me and the zales guy talked about it for a while. 297 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,588 Also, I learned some, like, cool stuff about zales. 298 00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:55,882 I have never seen her like that. 299 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,885 My dad is usually the one that gets all riled up. 300 00:11:57,926 --> 00:11:59,528 Do you think you can get out of being grounded tonight? 301 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,970 Because I talked to Bonnie, 302 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,854 and the four of us are doing that double date. 303 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,059 Yeah, I'm gonna tell my mom I'm going to bed early then sneak out. 304 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,810 Where are we going? T.J. Crispy's. 305 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,313 Want to see the present I got her? 306 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,320 What is it? It's a marble egg, man. 307 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,405 What does it do? Look expensive. 308 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,532 What is that, a marble egg? 309 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:22,992 Looks expensive. 310 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,912 Thank you. You get Karen a present yet? 311 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:28,498 Yeah, I got her something real nice. 312 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,484 What? 313 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,411 Ata, what are you doing here? 314 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,496 I watched that Sally jessy episode you gave me. 315 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,059 I needed to talk about it immediately. 316 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,406 The part where the ghost says, 317 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:14,627 "I am Jackie, and I forgive you, ' goosebumps. 318 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,591 Then the phone rang, and I almost peed my pants. 319 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,465 Well, I brought wine. 320 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,634 So, if you got a corkscrew and two glasses, 321 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:25,263 I'll just wait here. Oh, yellow hill. 322 00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:30,351 Listen, ata, I'm walking into the kitchen 323 00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,687 and I'm not gonna bring out your wine. 324 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,856 I'm sorry, but I think we'd both be happier 325 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,983 drinking one of my grenaches. 326 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,359 It's from France. 327 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,028 Yours says it's from Nevada, 328 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,696 and I'm just not familiar with... 329 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:42,905 What are you doing? 330 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,492 I was... this fell. 331 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,411 The shelf must be wobbly and it slid off, 332 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,747 or I don't know what made it fall, but it fell, and... 333 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,250 Dwayne stole it. What? 334 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,811 He took it, and I was trying to put it back. 335 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,795 I am so sorry. I'm so embarrassed. 336 00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,023 I didn't even want to tell you, 337 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,799 but obviously I'm not as good a liar as my son. 338 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,635 Well, why would he do that? I don't know. 339 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,137 Dewey's always been such a good kid, 340 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,265 but now he's punching people, disobeying me, stealing. 341 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,060 At first I thought this isn't like him, but what if it is? 342 00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,770 What if this is who he really is? 343 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,441 There is a difference between good kids who make mistakes 344 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,651 and kids like my daughter, 345 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,653 who just wanna watch the world burn. 346 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,156 I don't know your son, 347 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,158 but I feel like I've gotten to know you. 348 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,243 You raised a good kid. 349 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,330 Thanks for saying that, but I honestly don't feel 350 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,165 like I'm doing a good job at all. 351 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,008 I thought being stricter with him would help, 352 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,710 but it hasn't. 353 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,546 I just want to talk to rocky. He'd know what to do. 354 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,674 I think you know what to do. 355 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,261 Do you remember that Sally episode we watched about Princess syndrome? 356 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,239 You're just waiting for someone to come along 357 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:51,557 and rescue you, make it all better. 358 00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:55,645 But the only one who can make it better is you. 359 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,523 We are our own knights in shining armor. 360 00:14:58,689 --> 00:14:59,941 I love that episode. 361 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,126 Yeah, it started off a little shaky 362 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,443 with the whole obese twins thing, 363 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:03,986 but then it really picked up. 364 00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:17,333 Mom, look, none of these clothes are mine. 365 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,584 I know. 366 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,468 They belong to the places you stole them from. 367 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,005 No, they just forgot to take the security tags off. 368 00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,799 I found the purse, Dewey. 369 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,509 Diane's purse? 370 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:27,760 Sit down. 371 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:39,272 I tried punishing you like I did when you were little, 372 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,023 but you're not a kid anymore. 373 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:44,152 You're becoming a man, so I'm gonna talk to you like one. 374 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,945 What's going on? 375 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,197 I hate not having things. 376 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,033 You have things. Nice things. 377 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,453 Girls only look at you if you have designer clothes 378 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,536 or you drive a cool car or you live in a big house. 379 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,349 And if you don't, you basically don't exist. 380 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,833 You think I don't want nice things? 381 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,711 I don't want to be cleaning other people's houses, 382 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:02,879 taking the bus. 383 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,297 I thought you loved the bus. 384 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,883 The bus sucks. I know the bus sucks. 385 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,260 But your dad's not earning the way he used to, 386 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:12,054 so I'm doing what I need to do for our family, 387 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,473 while you'rejust being selfish. 388 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:14,825 It's not like I'm hurting anybody 389 00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,684 by taking some shirts from department stores. 390 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,603 First off, you literally hurt someone. 391 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,396 You punched a classmate. 392 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,190 And you stole from my client. 393 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,442 She has a thousand purses. She would never miss it. 394 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,152 You need to hang around rich people more. 395 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,904 They notice everything. 396 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,673 And guess who's the first person to get blamed 397 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:30,990 if something goes missing. 398 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,909 I could have lost my job, 399 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,328 which pays for this apartment you hate, 400 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:36,731 the clothes you're embarrassed of, 401 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,039 and those waffles you love. 402 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,790 Do you know how many eggos you eat, Dewey? 403 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:40,958 Not even eggos. 404 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,483 You buy the generic toaster waffles. 405 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:45,796 Because you inhale so many, we can only afford the generic. 406 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:52,136 I'm not looking for a thank you. 407 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,598 I do those things because I love you and I'm your mom, 408 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,475 but it's been hard, 409 00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,769 and I can't have you making it harder. 410 00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:02,605 Okay. 411 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,608 I'm sorry, mom. I'll be better. 412 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,320 Take these trash bags and fill them 413 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:13,032 with the clothes you stole, so you can donate them. 414 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,288 Where are you going? The clothes are right here. 415 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,330 There might be more. 416 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,168 Hello. Rocky: Hey, babe. 417 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,532 I heard you were looking for me. 418 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,422 Everything okay? Well... 419 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,758 Yeah, actually it is. 420 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,883 I was calling to tell you that Dewey got suspended from school for fighting. 421 00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:36,597 Did he win? Uh, I mean, uh, he did? 422 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,057 It's okay, I handled it. 423 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,517 How's everything going over there? 424 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,186 Oh, it's great. The convention was nuts. 425 00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:43,729 Abdullah the butcher says hi. 426 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,398 Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow morning. 427 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,121 I just got a couple more meetings tonight. 428 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,585 Come on, rocky, we're all going to the bar. 429 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,694 Rocky: Oh, okay. 430 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:50,963 Soundshke an important meeting. 431 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,531 Babe, you know I've been struggling to book matches. 432 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,157 You know how it is, I gotta schmooze. 433 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,743 Wrestling deals are made over a six-pack of beer 434 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,203 and country music... 435 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:00,746 H... hello? 436 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,376 No follow-up questions, please. 437 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:07,962 So, in my first effort to do better, 438 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:10,065 I'm gonna tell you I was planning to sneak out tonight 439 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,966 and meet some friends. Appreciate the honesty. 440 00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,968 Don't answer that. 441 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,262 No follow-up questions, please. 442 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,015 Okay, fair, but I was thinking, 443 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:22,435 What if me and you order some food instead? 444 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,562 No way, I don't believe that's true. 445 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,147 I'm telling you, it's true. 446 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,815 She had never seen a porta potty before? 447 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:31,068 She had never seen a porta potty before the flea market, yes. 448 00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,361 She almost started crying. 449 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,113 She said she was wearing her red boots. 450 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:37,366 Still, she was super into dad's match once it started. 451 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,576 She really loved it. 452 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,661 What's this girl's name, again? 453 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,204 Fine-a... 454 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,456 Good-grades Karen. 455 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,499 Well, I like that nickname. 456 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,940 I hope you're not upset about missing dinner with your friends. 457 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,007 They'll survive without me. 458 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,426 I can't believe it. 459 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,136 He stood me up. 460 00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,514 Karen, I'm sure Dwayne's dead on the side of some highway, okay? 461 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,200 That's what it would take for him to not be here. 462 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,560 I've never been stood up before in my life. 463 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,103 Bonnie, is this what this feels like? 464 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,689 It is, and it'll stay with you. 465 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:12,652 All righty, time to settle the bill, right? 466 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,654 Bonnie, obviously, I got you covered 467 00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:17,198 since you're my date, but Karen... 468 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:19,867 I had a diet sprite. 469 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,411 And three chicken wings from the shared appetizer. 470 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:23,704 I counted the bones. 471 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,373 So, doing a little math here, 472 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,958 that is $1.50 plus $3.99, 473 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:29,585 plus tax and tip. 474 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,755 No, mom. 475 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:35,675 Hey, come on, we're having a fun night. 476 00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,593 You used to love singing this song with me. 477 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:38,886 Yeah, when I was a kid. 478 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,305 You're never too old to sing. 479 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,893 Don't go breaking my heart 480 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,229 I couldn't if I tried 481 00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:53,317 Oh honey if I get restless 482 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,443 sing. 483 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,196 Baby you're not that kind 484 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,451 both: Don't go breaking my heart 485 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,203 you sound good. 486 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,914 You take the weight off of me 487 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,337 Oh, hey, mom, I'm gonna drop those clothes off 488 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,541 at goodwill after breakfast. 489 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,257 Thank you. I'm off to jazzercise. 490 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,050 Have fun. Oh, and by the way, 491 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:21,554 we're out of sim's market brand toaster quilted pancakes. 492 00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,848 I'll stop by the store on my way home. 493 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,517 Yeah, I really put my mom through it, 494 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,102 but she never gave up on me, 495 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,312 and she always showed me what true strength really is. 496 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:31,981 It's that mama bear mentality. 497 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,024 Exactly, and that's why I have such respect 498 00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,026 for strong women, because I was raised by one. 499 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,446 So is your mom your running mate? 500 00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:40,614 No, although she would love that. 501 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:43,909 But the person I will choose will share similar qualities. 502 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,745 Well, I'm sure I speak for america 503 00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:47,747 when I say we can't wait to see who you choose. 504 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,375 And also we have a little bit of a surprise for you. 505 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,962 Is this mic working? Hello? 506 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:57,173 Mom, we're here. Dewey, hi, Dewey. 507 00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,258 Oh, I love that you still call him Dewey. 508 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,969 Oh, even when he's president I 'ii still call him Dewey. 509 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,013 Mom. Yes, president Dewey? 510 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,056 Mom, please. Oh, president Dewey. 511 00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,933 Thathasaiflcesoundtoit no, hdoesnt 512 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,810 yeah, no, it doesn't. 513 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,729 So, Mrs. Johnson, do you think your son 514 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,565 can become the next president of the United States? 515 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,066 Absolutely. 516 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,360 When Dewey says he's gonna do something, 517 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,905 he will do it, and you will smell... 518 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:23,991 No, mom. Oh, mom. What president Dewey is cooking. 519 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,786 That's my mom. That's mom. 520 00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,121 Adult Dwayne: Okay, that's enough. Bye bye.