1 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,802 I'm Randall park at freedom high school, 2 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:12,888 continuing our all-access coverage 3 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,224 of the Dwayne Johnson presidential campaign. 4 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,729 Thank you for joining us for the official opening 5 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:24,107 of the Dwayne Johnson library. 6 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,318 Dwayne, we always knew 7 00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,904 that you were destined for greatness. 8 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:29,988 Adult Dwayne: Nice lady. 9 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,616 She made me sound good, but none of it was true. 10 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:35,428 I mean, the only thing that people said I was destined to do was time. 11 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,496 That's good. 12 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,373 As we all know, nobody's perfect, 13 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,707 and we all screw up. 14 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,043 I just happened to screw up a little bit more than most. 15 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,979 As a matter of fact, Randall, when I first got here 16 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,381 to freedom high school, I was a hardcore shoplifter. 17 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,465 Mmm-hmm. 18 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,676 Hey, just so you know, 19 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,094 you guys have to come in tighter 20 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,337 when he says stuff like that. 21 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,638 Well, it's too late now. 22 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:55,722 It's too late. Back up. 23 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:57,724 Just anticipate. 24 00:00:58,934 --> 00:00:59,935 Uh, confinue. 25 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:03,188 Yeah, so we moved here to Bethlehem from Nashville 26 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,500 because my dad wasn't wrestling for Vince McMahon anymore. 27 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,775 That's your father... mmm-hmm. 28 00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:11,029 "Soul man" rocky Johnson! 29 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:12,823 Nice, man. Good job. 30 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,241 Give me some. All right. 31 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,867 I did. You practiced that, didn't you? 32 00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,955 I don't know if I mentioned it, but I used to be an actor. 33 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,498 You have. I have? Okay. 34 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,250 Yeah, yeah, multiple times. Oh, okay. 35 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,960 But back to my parents. Yes, yes. 36 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,729 So, money wasn't coming in the way it used to, 37 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,131 so he and my mom opened up a cleaning business. 38 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,426 I had a side job after school slinging pizza, 39 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,469 but the only thing I wanted to do was chase girls. 40 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,139 And to get their attention, I thought 41 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:40,142 that I had to look rich, hence all the stealing. 42 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,505 Sandy: Candidate Johnson, please, 43 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,437 remember our media training session. 44 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,690 It's fine, Sandy. Yeah, it's fine, Sandy. 45 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,109 So my dad was still trying to wrestle 46 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,320 any chance that he got, so my uncle of a 47 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:53,530 from the wild Samoans... The wild Samoans. 48 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,033 Yeah, that's good. 49 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,451 Yeah. Borderline inappropriate. 50 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:58,595 Oh, okay. It was the tongue. 51 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,245 Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah. 52 00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:01,997 So my uncle of a hooked my dad up 53 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,999 with a promoter who got him booked 54 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,168 on some local shows, which was great. 55 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,879 I mean, we needed the money, but my dad 56 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,797 was still very much reliving 57 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,883 his glory days of the early '80s. 58 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,010 Announcer: Listen to that crowd! 59 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,303 Whoo! 60 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,746 Announcer: Kick to the midsection. Johnson taking a beating! 61 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:21,808 Rocky making an incredible comeback 62 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,477 against the nature boy. 63 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,147 Here comes the big soul man. Right hand! 64 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,070 He holds flair up! 65 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,529 One, two... 66 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,448 Three, and the crowd goes wild! 67 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:37,866 Damn right, they did! 68 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,576 I remember seeing that match on TV. 69 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,079 Flair's a great guy. Just don't touch his hair. 70 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:45,957 But do compliment his ring entrance robe. 71 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,001 Brother spends a ton on feathering. 72 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,803 Dewey, did you put an empty egg carton 73 00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,606 and an empty milk carton back in the fridge? 74 00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:00,948 How are you supposed to know we're out of stuff 75 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,283 if I don't put the empty cartons in the fridge? 76 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,187 How about you write it down on the grocery list? 77 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,811 Because when I do, you ignore it. 78 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,605 Like, here I wrote "coke," and you bought 79 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,066 sim's market brand sugar cola. 80 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,527 Do you think I want sim's market brand milk alternative 81 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,736 for my coffee? No. 82 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,613 I want the purple half-and-half, 83 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,491 but nobody here is making half-and-half money, Dewey. 84 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,827 We're making sim's market brand money. 85 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,554 Gotta take a shower. I've got a new client. 86 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:24,788 I can't be late. 87 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,294 Heho? Hey, son. 88 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,004 Hey, dad. Is your mom there? 89 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,089 She's in the shower. 90 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,732 She's working for that new client today. 91 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,694 All right. Let her know I'm running a little late. 92 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,719 I lost track of time. 93 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,242 Storytelling for the guys at the gym. 94 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,722 Mom seems real stressed, dad. 95 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,265 Hey, when I get home, I'll give her 96 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,641 a rocky Johnson foot massage. 97 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:45,767 That'll take care of it. 98 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,269 Well, since I waited 20 minutes 99 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,271 for the phone to open up, let's not waste it. 100 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,998 Hey, how's it going with that girl you like? 101 00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:53,442 Fine-ass Karen. And not good. 102 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,526 I want to ask her out, 103 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:55,837 but so does every other guy in school. 104 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:59,072 Well, son, you are not every other guy. 105 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,324 You just need to figure out what you can offer her 106 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,409 that no one else can. 107 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:06,329 My hans and Franz impression from Saturday night live. 108 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,248 I don't know what that means, son, 109 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,958 but you gotta step your game up. 110 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,961 Be confident. Girls like swagger. 111 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,880 And don't wait to make your move. 112 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,799 For every second you hesitate, there's another guy out there 113 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,761 telling your girl she'd look better with less makeup. 114 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,305 Adult Dwayne: So I wasn't gonna hesitate. 115 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,725 Dewey, I'm leaving. See you tonight! 116 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:27,976 Okay, ma, see you later! 117 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,538 Adult Dwayne: This girl Karen thought I was rich, 118 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,230 and I sure as hell wasn't. 119 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,065 So I had to impress her 120 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,859 with the best stolen clothes I had. 121 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,156 That's right, those are girbaud jeans. 122 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,700 Living on a prayer 123 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,118 I had my gear. 124 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,787 Now I just had to catch my ride. 125 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,627 Bus driver: Hello, hello. 126 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,255 Uh, sir, you need to be a student to ride this bus. 127 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,507 I am a student. 128 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,343 You got some stones, pervert. 129 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,722 Gabe, yo, tell him I'm a student! 130 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,516 Are those girbaud jeans? 131 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,523 So, I think mondays and Thursdays to start, 132 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:17,126 and if you have any questions or you need anything, just let me know. 133 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,152 Okay. Thank you, Mrs. Ariti. 134 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,906 Oh, please, call me Diane. Do you have any kids? 135 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,825 I have a daughter, supposedly. 136 00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:26,188 She hasn't called in three weeks. 137 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,664 I'm learning to cook Indian but I can't find the spices! 138 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,500 So, if it hadn't been for that second Margarita, 139 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,127 you'd be looking at Mrs. Kelsey grammer right now. 140 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,630 And I just don't think I'm a good hugger! 141 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,173 Do you think I should get a facelift? 142 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,258 Be honest. 143 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:44,386 I have a shrimp allergy! 144 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,263 Clark got me this for my birthday. 145 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,516 He was always getting me expensive, insulting gifts. 146 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,726 Bicycle, gym membership, diet pills... 147 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,562 Oh, my god, those aren't real problems. 148 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,689 Paying rent, keeping the lights on, 149 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,065 those are real problems. 150 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,109 Oh, right. 151 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,193 Of course. 152 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,255 I could pay you a dollar more an hour. 153 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,589 No, no, that's not what I was asking. 154 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,591 I just used to pay what my neighbor paid, but she moved... 155 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:06,935 Let's just forget I said anything. 156 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,185 Young Dwayne: I can't believe he wouldn't let me on the bus. 157 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,609 I was so late that I missed homeroom 158 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:18,670 with fine-ass Karen. 159 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,314 She didn't get to see the newjeans I stole 160 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,048 or my hans and Franz. 161 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,592 What if I miss my window with her? 162 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,678 Dude, honestly, I don't know ifyourjeans 163 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,638 or your impression would have mattered. 164 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,308 Karen has crazy high standards. 165 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,475 Let's all go to the lobby 166 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,560 take me home. 167 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:35,896 Take me home. 168 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,814 Karen 169 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:38,899 take me home. 170 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,694 Um, we're at your house. 171 00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,864 Well, take yourself home then. 172 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,202 Gabe: My god. 173 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,038 It's the karens! What? 174 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,165 It's the Karen's! No, here? 175 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,500 Taking me 176 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,960 to the point of no return 177 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,204 young Dwayne: Fine-ass Karen. 178 00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,174 Big hair Karen. 179 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,926 Colorblind Karen. 180 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,053 And Bonnie. 181 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,598 They made her an honorary Karen 'cause it's her car. 182 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,161 Yo, they're coming. They're coming in. 183 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,120 Young Dwayne: What are we doing? Yo, I don't know man! 184 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,145 Just be cool! 185 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,748 I'm gonna put these peppers on a plate. 186 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,568 I'd like to feel the passion 187 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,445 to the point of no return 188 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,947 on, baby 189 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,216 adult Dwayne: The universe was giving me a second chance, 190 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,993 and like my dad said, I had to be confident. 191 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,495 Yo, let's go over. 192 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,163 I can't, man. 193 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,623 I squirted pepperjuice in my eye. 194 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,667 Ugh. Ow. 195 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,502 Go over there for the both of us. 196 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,967 Hello, ladies. Karen: Hi, Tomas. 197 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,528 Adult Dwayne: Oh, yeah, I also told her that my name was Tomas. 198 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,763 Karen: Missed you in homeroom. Tomas: Oh, I was shaving. 199 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:52,847 Lost track of time. 200 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,350 Big hair Karen: So why are you even working here? 201 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,227 I thought Karen said you were rich. 202 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,938 Oh, this isn't a moneyjob. This is a build-characterjob. 203 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,165 Colorblind Karen: I totally get it. 204 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,816 My cousin's a construction worker. 205 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,388 My dad's a professional wrestler. 206 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:05,920 That's where our family money comes from. 207 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:06,945 Oh, yeah? 208 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,239 My dad bought wrestlemania III on pay-per-view. 209 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,323 Was your dad in that? 210 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,617 No, but he's friends with all the guys who were. 211 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:15,036 I once spent a beautiful day with Andre the giant 212 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,121 when I was a kid. 213 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,580 Fezzik! 214 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,874 That's his character's name in "the Princess bride". 215 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,086 Well, that's interesting. 216 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,088 Not what Bonnie said, but what you said. 217 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,632 The last guy I dated's dad was vice president 218 00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,676 for the acquisitions of-who cares? 219 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,969 So boring. 220 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,804 You know, I was actually talking about you 221 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,389 with my dad this morning. Karen: What? 222 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,433 Karen: No, you weren't. I was. 223 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,059 I told him I wanted to ask you out. 224 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,437 You know what he told me? What? 225 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,815 He told me to offer you what the other guys can't. 226 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,442 Oh, yeah, and what's that? 227 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,069 I'm hans. 228 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:51,656 I'm Franz. And we want to pump you up. 229 00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,999 I love hans and Franz. Call me later. 230 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,791 Announcer: The "soul man" has withstood the onslaught 231 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:10,300 by roddy Piper and is now all over the rowdy one! 232 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,344 Here comes the signature drop kick! 233 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,222 Is it over? 234 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,599 One, two... 235 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,934 Three, the crowd goes wild! 236 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,020 Rocky, rocky, rocky! 237 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,981 Like I said, I don't really watch wrestling. 238 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,566 Sure you do. 239 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,210 Let me tell you about this other time. 240 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,569 So I had this brother, right? 241 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,529 Well, I feel awful. 242 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,114 Isnapped at my new client today, 243 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,949 so now I'm making her apology musubis. 244 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,035 Do like we do out here in Hawaii. 245 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,829 Send mangoes, the fruit of forgiveness. 246 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,957 There he is. I did what you said. 247 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,667 I stepped to Karen with confidence, 248 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:45,831 and she gave me her number. 249 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,045 Oh, that's great, son. 250 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,189 I told you that would work. 251 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,923 Gonna call her tonight after I work out 252 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,883 so I can say, "I just worked out." 253 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,052 Smooth as hell, son. Keep your foot on the gas. 254 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,136 Don't let up. 255 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,721 Rocky, did that promoter pay you yet? 256 00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,807 Uh, no, we got a match on Saturday. 257 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,250 Office said he's gonna pay us then. 258 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,869 Young Dwayne: Where's your match on Saturday? 259 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:04,270 North Hampton college. Sold out. 260 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,606 Really? Totally sold out. 261 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:07,982 Oh, I'm gonna blow their minds. 262 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,110 Like that time I went up against Paul orndorff... 263 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,118 Hello, Dwayne. How's student life? 264 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,537 Hey, principal Bogg. It's good. 265 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,307 That was for the benefit of the kids, officer Johnson. 266 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,999 I don't want to blow your cover. 267 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,794 Any leads on the rash of locker break-ins? 268 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,505 Again, I'm not a narc. Of course. 269 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,423 You can't talk on school premises. 270 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:35,051 I'll make us a reservation at Morton's steakhouse. 271 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,511 You can brief me later. 272 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,638 Hey, stay safe out there. 273 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,725 What? 274 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:49,149 Karen, Karen, Karen, Bonnie. 275 00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,358 You can call me Karen. 276 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:51,985 Is it me, or is he wearing all red? 277 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,195 It's you. Hi, Tomas. 278 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,673 Fun talking to you on the phone last night. 279 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,617 Think how fun itwill be when we talk face-to-face 280 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,658 on our date. 281 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,119 Karen, you didn't tell us he asked you out. 282 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,955 He didn't, Karen. It's happening right now. 283 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,456 No fricking way. 284 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:08,334 My dad is wrestling at north Hampton college on Saturday. 285 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,378 It's sold out, but I can get us in. 286 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:13,339 Snag us some vip passes, hang backstage. 287 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,049 That would be pretty exciting. 288 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,384 I've never seen alive show. 289 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:21,181 See, Kevin? That's how you do it. 290 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,019 Baby 291 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,146 I can't wait 292 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:31,608 mmm. 293 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,986 They taste like hope for a better future. 294 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,507 Thank you for these, but you really didn't have to. 295 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,242 It's the least I could do after how I spoke to you. 296 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:44,245 It's not an excuse, but my husband's been having 297 00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,331 work issues, and money's been tight. 298 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,041 Anyway, I'm sorry. 299 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,334 I'm sorry too. 300 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,336 Ever since my daughter left home and my divorce, 301 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:53,588 I've been a little lonely. 302 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,633 I guess I got overexcited at having company. 303 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,427 Family tests you whether they're here or they're gone. 304 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,637 Amen. 305 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,805 Just like Sally Jesse says, "we're expected 306 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,016 to react to the needs of the people around us." 307 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:07,894 Who's Sally Jesse? 308 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,687 Sally Jesse Raphael. 309 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,066 The yellow haired hawk of daytime talk. 310 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,818 Oh, come with me. Come with me. 311 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,656 And I was like, "no, Bonnie, a perm would not do well 312 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,907 "with your face structure." 313 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,243 And that is how I saved her life. 314 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:24,994 What would she do without you? 315 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,250 Wow, this place really is sold out. 316 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,127 I'll talk to the guy, tell him who we are. 317 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:36,506 Here for the flea market? 318 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,132 We're here for the wrestling match. 319 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,467 Yep, you're in the right place. 320 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,028 That's right between the vintage coats 321 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,095 and French armoires. 322 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,741 Adult Dwayne: Now, lknew my dad wasn't wrestling 323 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:46,975 in packed arenas anymore, 324 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:48,893 but he definitely stretched the truth 325 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:49,978 about this venue. 326 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,729 Dewey! 327 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,774 Well, well, well, and this must be Karen. 328 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,943 Oh, what a surprise. Karen: Dewey? 329 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:59,028 My nickname. It's a nickname for Tomas? 330 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,863 Tomas? His name is Dwayne. 331 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,532 Is this true, Tomas? 332 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,077 You said you were wrestling at a college. 333 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,662 Yeah, this is at a college. 334 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,622 This is a flea market next to a college. 335 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,499 Commemorative bicentennial spoons? 336 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,544 Ew, I am not buying used spoons. 337 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,796 Vintage t-shirts, young lady? You a fan of gwar? 338 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,424 Karen: Dwayne! One sec. 339 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,468 Look at her, dad. She's not the flea market type. 340 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,392 You know I've been trying to impress this girl. 341 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,681 All right, all right, I might have hyped it up a bit, 342 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,099 but the crowd is pumped. 343 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,911 Young Dwayne: There's, like, ten people here. 344 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,895 Now, see, there was 11, but this woman fainted 345 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,981 when she heard I was on the card. 346 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,817 Yeah, she saw me wrestle Mr. Fuji 347 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,402 at the garden years ago. 348 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,154 Now, that was a hell of a match. 349 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,656 Okay, sure, my dad stretched the truth 350 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:46,117 to make himself look good, but he was also used 351 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,369 to a certain level of success that he wasn't 352 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,537 ready to give up. 353 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,831 So fuji's about to throw salt in my eyes, right? 354 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:52,957 Dwayne, can we go? 355 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,768 There is a woman trying to sell me 356 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:57,337 what I think is a racist syrup jar. 357 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,423 Um, we gotta... Oh, wait, wait, no. 358 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:01,986 You can't leave before the main event. 359 00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,055 For sure, we're staying. 360 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,182 No way we're missing a rocky Johnson show. 361 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,559 That's my boy. 362 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,063 Rocky, showtime. Rocky: Great. Thanks, hal. 363 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,647 I'll see you two after the match? 364 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:19,484 No way we're staying. 365 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:22,737 There is a man selling a pile of old baby shoes, 366 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,113 and it is freaking me out. 367 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:27,992 If you want to leave, go ahead, but I'm staying. 368 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:31,746 He's my dad. 369 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,584 Like Karen, I'm also confused. 370 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:37,668 Why did you stay? 371 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,338 He's my dad. 372 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,801 That's it. 373 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,431 Wait. 374 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,453 Woman: And it's really unusual, I think, to hear women 375 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:55,937 say this, looks are more important 376 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,022 than brains? Oh, yeah. 377 00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,774 I think I would like a dumb, hot man. 378 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,943 Clark was basically a giant brain 379 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,278 attached to the body of an uncooked chicken. 380 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,282 I'd like a man who can put his ego aside. 381 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,701 I love rocky, but he always exaggerates 382 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,805 to make himself look good when he doesn't even have to. 383 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:13,871 It's exhausting. 384 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,873 Still, sounds better than Clark. 385 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:19,752 An uncooked chicken, ata. 386 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,506 Oh, I have to go. 387 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,900 Yeah, I still gotta go to the grocery store 388 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,300 and get dinner ready. 389 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,803 You have to take time for yourself too. 390 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,138 "Find the little joys, 391 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,889 "for they give us the greatest pleasures." 392 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,828 Did you just come up with that? 393 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:36,978 No, that's sjr. 394 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,342 She said it to a toothless woman addicted to crystal meth. 395 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,816 I recorded it. I'll show you. 396 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,069 Got us some snacks. 397 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,833 That's what my family buys to feed the fish 398 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:47,989 when we go to the poconos. 399 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,535 Hey, uncle of a, uncle sika. 400 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,495 This is Karen. Hi, Karen. 401 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,543 Bye, Karen. 402 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,426 Should've gone white water rafting with Kevin. 403 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,548 Okay, yeah, this place sucks, 404 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,216 but I promise you're in for a show. 405 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,719 Announcer: In this corner, the "soul man"! 406 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,530 Adult Dwayne: Even though my dad wasn't wrestling 407 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,139 in Madison square garden anymore, 408 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,807 in his mind, he was. 409 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:21,105 And his opponent, hailing from the ocean, 410 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,774 the gull! 411 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:28,988 Ooh, a dirty attack by the gull before the bell. 412 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,408 And whether it was the gull or Rick flair 413 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,951 or roddy Piper, 414 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:35,828 anytime rocky Johnson got in that ring, 415 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,788 he went all out. 416 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:40,082 That's what! Got, the hard way 417 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,502 and I'll make it better each and every day 418 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,879 it's so violent in real life. 419 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,590 Ah, ah! Ow! 420 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,359 ' Cause you ain't seen nothing yet 421 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,969 if he doesn't sell and get his opponent over, 422 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,653 there's no point in blowing his comeback. 423 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:55,723 What does that mean? 424 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,100 Rocky: Ow! 425 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,102 I'm a soul man 426 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,396 stop it! He's hurt! 427 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,640 I'm a soul man 428 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,484 rocky reaches the ropes. 429 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,487 The gull has to let him go or be disqualified. 430 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,447 Caw! 431 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,407 I hate you! 432 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,160 She's loving it. 433 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,414 Adult Dwayne: Nobody put on a show like the "soul man". 434 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,125 Rocky, rocky, rocky! Rocky. 435 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,419 Rocky, rocky, rocky! 436 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:28,214 Rocky, rocky, rocky! 437 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,549 I'm a soul man 438 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,928 I'm a soul man 439 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,305 whoo! 440 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,951 Well, grab the rope, let me pull you in 441 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:42,728 Give you hope and be your only boyfriend 442 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:45,189 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 443 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,649 One, two... 444 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:47,900 Three! 445 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:52,005 Adult Dwayne: Like my dad, I had been exaggerating the truth 446 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,241 to make myself look good, but when I finally got real 447 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:58,327 and chose to be there for him over impressing the girl, 448 00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,704 I somehow got the girl. 449 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,539 That was amazing! 450 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:02,748 What did I tell you? 451 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,625 Nobody puts on a show like my dad. 452 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,799 That was so fun. 453 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,634 You set the bar high for our next date. 454 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:14,844 Next date? 455 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,388 Oh, is that before or after you go rafting with Kevin? 456 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,557 Shut up. 457 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,742 Man 4: Hi, rocky! Rocky: Hey. 458 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,143 Amazing, dad. 459 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,311 You put on a show. 460 00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:24,687 You were so great, Mr. Johnson. 461 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,981 Why, thank you, Karen. Appreciate that, son. 462 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,458 I've never seen wrestling live before, 463 00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,401 and it was so much better than on TV. 464 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,724 Kind of like that time I saw kirk Cameron at the airport. 465 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,465 Hal: Hey, hell of a match, rocky. Hell of a match. 466 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:36,741 Finally, payday. 467 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,037 Rocky: Where's the rest? Hal: That's $300. 468 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,747 It was 300 per match. 469 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,248 I wrestled three matches for you. 470 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,875 No, 300 total. 471 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,545 Just give us a second. 472 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:50,963 Business. 473 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,175 Karen: $300? That's all? 474 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,177 Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, hedoeswtdo 475 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,595 these smaller shows for money. 476 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,278 He just does 'em as a favor to my uncles. 477 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,348 Oh. Yeah. 478 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,743 Still, though, you want to keep these local promoters honest 479 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,102 but he makes the real money at the big shows. 480 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:07,563 Oh, well, I'd love to see one of those. 481 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,690 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. 482 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:10,876 I'll take you to the next one. 483 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,277 Hey, you know, my dad has a ton of merch. 484 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,987 Mmm-hmm. You want a hat? 485 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,614 I'll bring you a hat on Monday. 486 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:20,493 So the wind might change direction 487 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:23,871 and you stay always as you are 488 00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,706 I've always loved that song. 489 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,030 Dwayne said the show was great. 490 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,542 Hey, you know me. 491 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,294 My worst day is someone else's best day. 492 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,423 Hey, I'm sorry about the money. 493 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,008 Hal swore he was-ata: Hey. 494 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,719 $300 is $300. We could use it. 495 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,615 But next time, we gotta make sure you get paid upfront. 496 00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,265 Definitely. 497 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:46,727 Plus this convention in erie will bring in some extra dough. 498 00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:49,188 Pose for pictures, sign some autographs. 499 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,815 It'll be great. 500 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,196 Hey, babe, what's with this small, purple milk? 501 00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,698 It's my little joy. 502 00:19:58,781 --> 00:19:59,966 I put it behind the cantaloupe 503 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,593 so Dewey doesn't drink it all in one gulp. 504 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,119 Smart. 505 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,079 No way that boy's going near a melon. 506 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,205 Mmm-hmm. 507 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,875 That is a sweet end to the story. 508 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,961 Would've been, yeah, but that's not the end. 509 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,671 Unless we want it to be. 510 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:14,922 Sandy, please. 511 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,685 Can someone get this Sandy guy out of here? 512 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,760 Bitch trying to step into my coverage. 513 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:22,012 Sorry about that. That's okay. 514 00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:24,223 You know, Randall, look, I'm here to be honest, 515 00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:26,100 and that's why I told you this story. 516 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,352 No one's perfect, and we all make mistakes. 517 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,331 Adult Dwayne: I just happened to make a whole hell of a lot of them. 518 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,815 Hey, Karen. 519 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,984 I brought you this. Karen: Thanks. 520 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,068 Nice jeans. 521 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,422 I was just telling everyone about the match. 522 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,114 When your dad did that sunset flip- 523 00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:41,699 which was badass- 524 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,701 it, like, totally changed my life. 525 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,828 Ugh, at the flea market? 526 00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:49,039 Ugh, yes, that part was disgusting. 527 00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:52,710 It was like a cursed mall, but the show was really fun. 528 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:55,045 Kevin: Aw, that's awesome, man. 529 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,089 My neighbor's throwing a garage sale next week. 530 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,525 Maybe your dad can main event that. 531 00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,509 My brother was there. 532 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,471 He said there were, like, ten people in the audience. 533 00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:04,930 There's ten people here right now. 534 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,016 This was the audience. 535 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,935 I mean, it doesn't even matter. Wrestling's all fake anyway. 536 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,148 Oh! 537 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,903 Never use the f-word. 538 00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:20,696 Randall: Wait, so you knocked him out cold. 539 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,907 Ah. Um... 540 00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:26,535 We just scooped everyone in the country. 541 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,412 Scooped 'em all. Randall: Yeah, we did.