1 00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:20,646 Selina: Did you see that caption 2 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,916 underneath the photo of me from the hennessey fundraiser? 3 00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:26,359 "Who's the real first lady?" Sexist bullshit. Can't get drawn into it. 4 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:29,029 Comparing our clothing budgets and our stylists, 5 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,530 like that's all we care about? 6 00:00:30,615 --> 00:00:34,326 And that Mark Rivera called me a diva in his column. 7 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,203 Stupid fucking midget. 8 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:39,664 Clearly he hasn't heard you sing. The guy's a dick. 9 00:00:39,749 --> 00:00:41,542 Hey, Gary, did you find me a dog yet? 10 00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:43,710 Yeah, I've selected a few candidates. 11 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,546 Or should I say canine-didates? 12 00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:47,047 Amy: No, you shouldn't say that. 13 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,734 - Let me see. - What do you think of that? 14 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,092 - A terrier? - Yeah. 15 00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:53,346 No way. A terrier is a diva dog. Forget it. 16 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:57,140 I don't need a ball of yappy hair shitting its body weight every 30 minutes. 17 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:58,893 Do you want a cat? I can get you a cat. 18 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,977 No, no. I feel like a bad mom, you know? 19 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,730 'Cause I never let Catherine get a dog when she was little. 20 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:06,816 So this is a fresh start for us. It's parental ground zero. 21 00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:08,777 Oh, wow! 22 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:10,738 Look at this. 23 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:14,407 - Twenty years in DC. Congratulations. - Thank you. 24 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:15,718 I didn't think you guys would eat the pineapple. 25 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,202 Listen, you're a dog person, right? 26 00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:19,537 - What kind of dog do you have? - I have a real dog. 27 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,581 - Uh-huh. - Simon, black labrador. 28 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:23,917 Sue: Simon? What an unbelievable name. 29 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,919 I guess he just looked like a Simon. 30 00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,421 Go on, get the photo out, Mike. 31 00:01:27,505 --> 00:01:30,345 - I don't think we need to see the photo. - Oh, I'd love to see a photo. 32 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,426 - Sure. - Let me see. 33 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:35,888 - Such a shiny coat, no? - How do you get that coat so shiny, Mike? 34 00:01:35,972 --> 00:01:38,390 Uh, keep him hydrated. Lots of water. 35 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:41,559 - You know? - To drink or applied directly to the coat? 36 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,521 Ha! Leave my fake dog alone. 37 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,813 You know, I was just thinking, 38 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,042 maybe we should get a rescue dog 'cause it'll play great. 39 00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:50,569 As long as it's not one of those animals with three legs and a wheel. 40 00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:53,114 - Yeah. - Four legs, good. Three legs, bad. 41 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:56,449 - I got it. - "Whassup," as they say in the late '90s? 42 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,203 Hey, Jonah. Did the president cancel the Chinese premier 43 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,289 - to come to my 20th party? - No, ma'am. 44 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:03,016 Although I'm sure he wouldn't miss it for the world 45 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,017 if it weren't for the fact that he runs the world. 46 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:09,630 I'm sure his absence has nothing to do with your rift with the first lady. 47 00:02:09,714 --> 00:02:13,091 What? There is no rift. 48 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,801 It was one tiny, little disagreement 49 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:17,471 and everyone's making it out like we had a catfight 50 00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:19,097 in the map room or something. 51 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:22,393 She'd be a rough fighter, though. She's got big shoulders. Those aren't pads. 52 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,745 Oh, ma'am, potus also wanted to know when you would be announcing 53 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:27,165 the oil guy that's gonna be going on the clean jobs task force. 54 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:30,233 - This bozo Mike's on it. - So today? Tomorrow? 55 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,778 - Blink if you understand me, Mike. - Ha, ha. 56 00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:35,423 And as regards to the rift rumors, I'll keep my ear to the ground for you. 57 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,657 Be careful your ears don't pop on the way down. 58 00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:39,303 Okay, can everybody come in here, please? 59 00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:40,702 - Sure. - Come on. 60 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,347 Right, we're gonna have to shut down this story 61 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:43,997 about me and the first lady. 62 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,058 I mean, it means we're gonna have to undiva my party. 63 00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:48,501 We're gonna have to lose those huge photos of me. 64 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,439 - No, I like those. - I know, they're great photos. 65 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:51,982 I know, but there's no way we can have them. 66 00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:53,400 It's a good idea. We don't want you to look like... 67 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:54,633 Stalin. 68 00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:56,510 I was gonna say Eva peron. 69 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:59,095 Yeah, I prefer that comparison. Less of a mustache. 70 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,139 And you know what, actually, she was kind of chic. 71 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,617 - Gorgeous. - Mmm-hmm. Looks like Madonna. 72 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,477 Yeah. Hmm. 73 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,938 Uh, Mike, have you announced Chuck yet? 74 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,791 - I'm still working on it, Amy. - Oh, come on. 75 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,918 - This is not the hoover dam. - Yeah, it is the hoover dam. 76 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,110 Filled with shit. 77 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:15,195 And when we announce Chuck furnam, an ex-oil guy, 78 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,422 on the clean jobs task force. 79 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,615 Do you know what happens with all that shit, Amy? 80 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:22,369 Uh, does it get used in a clumsy and unpleasant analogy by you? 81 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,292 Look, Amy, oil already hates me 'cause we're closing their tax loopholes 82 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,041 and making them pay for cleanup, so now I'm eating everyone's shit. 83 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:30,460 I'm like the last guy in a human centipede with this. 84 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:31,544 And there it is. 85 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,298 We just got to put one guy on clean jobs. 86 00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:36,258 Chuck's oily, but he's not evil oily. 87 00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:39,095 - He's ex-oil. - Yeah, you put it out today. 88 00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:42,055 Today? Half of DC is at senator Reeves' dedication ceremony. 89 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:44,182 Well, then you put it out there. 90 00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:46,370 I thought it might be disrespectful, but you're right. 91 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:49,397 He was rapey Reeves. When was that guy ever respectful? 92 00:03:50,815 --> 00:03:53,233 Amy: Okay, your daughter gets here in two hours. 93 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:55,211 God, today feels like the perfect storm, doesn't it? 94 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,861 Yeah, hurricane selina. 95 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,280 Yeah. Uh-oh, wait a minute. 96 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,408 Does that exist? Hurricane selina? 97 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,451 - Oh, I don't... - Can we run a check on that? 98 00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:05,204 Gary: I'm binging it. 99 00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:09,249 Too full. Dan and Jonah, out, please. 100 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:12,145 And just so you know, this is also what would happen if we were in a lifeboat. 101 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,712 You're not gonna believe this. 102 00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,713 Selina is on next year's list of hurricanes. 103 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,340 Oh, shit! 104 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:21,761 What if it hits and we get headlines saying, "selina causing large-scale devastation?" 105 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,431 People won't equate you with a natural disaster, ma'am. 106 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,558 Really, Amy? 'Cause I've met some people, okay? 107 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:29,978 Real people, and I've got to tell you, a lot of them are fucking idiots. 108 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,403 Mike: Oh, my god. Do you see this? 109 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,320 The senator Reeves recreation center. 110 00:04:39,405 --> 00:04:41,614 Did you know old grandpa fumblepants couldn't even swim? 111 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:42,907 Mmm-hmm. 112 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,031 He would just hang out in the shallow end and stare. 113 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,662 You know what his favorite stroke was? 114 00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:50,123 - Uh, was it dick stroke? - It was dick stroke. 115 00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,918 Widow, widow, widow. 116 00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:55,463 - He was such a wonderful man. - Thank you so much, selina. 117 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:59,091 Oh, look at him here. He is so happy. 118 00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:01,719 I'm sorry about your feud with the first lady. 119 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:03,596 Oh, you know... 120 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,639 Is it true that she stole your stylist? 121 00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:07,325 No. You know, the newspapers just make all this stuff... 122 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,643 Sorry, ma'am. This is the president calling. 123 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,607 - It just can't wait. - Oh, I have to take this. 124 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,873 - Will you excuse me? - Go ahead. 125 00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:15,524 Hello? Yes. Hi, Mr. President. 126 00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:17,209 Fyi, ma'am, the president is not calling. 127 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,736 - Fyi, Gary, no shit. - Okay. 128 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:26,046 - Is Chuck announced yet? - I'm waiting for the perfect time, okay? 129 00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:28,787 You are like a... 130 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:32,666 Earlobe, you're just there, just wobbling. 131 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,335 - Doer is right there. - I know. 132 00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:35,419 - Do it now. - I will. 133 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,129 - Senator Doyle. - Stop. 134 00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:39,172 Mike wanted a word, if you don't mind. 135 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:40,299 Mike mclintock. 136 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,218 - You are well? - Yes, sir. Very good, sir. 137 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,719 Oh, holy shit. These mushrooms are amazing. 138 00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:47,348 - What is it, Mike? - Must be ricotta or something in there. 139 00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:49,016 - Oh, that's funny. - Yeah. 140 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,643 - Goody, I love humor. - Yeah. 141 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,436 - I have a hypothetical for you. - Okay. 142 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,605 What would you say if we announced Chuck furnam to the clean jobs task force? 143 00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,317 - Furnam? - Yeah, Chuck. 144 00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:01,027 Well, that would be a betrayal from the veep. 145 00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,821 Not necessarily. 146 00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:05,282 So I imagine that I would mix ape shit with bat shit, 147 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,159 raise it to a whole new level of fury, 148 00:06:07,243 --> 00:06:09,036 then I'd probably rip your face off 149 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:12,205 and use your eye sockets as a sex toy. 150 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,708 It's just a hypothetical like yours. 151 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,211 Chuck would just be token oil. 152 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:18,963 Oil would think he's their trojan horse, 153 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,297 he'd be a hollow horse. 154 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,550 Not a hollow horse. That's a trojan horse. 155 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,884 He'd be a hollow trojan horse, sir. 156 00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,388 I was promised no one from oil. 157 00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:30,474 - Chuck's not oil. He retired a year ago. - Yeah, from oil. 158 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,160 Now I fucking want to speak to the vice president. 159 00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,185 Okay. 160 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:37,272 Hurricane forecast is looking good, and your daughter's just arrived at the office. 161 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:40,441 - Great, that's our cue. - Hallowes, hurricane hallowes. 162 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,736 - Hi. Hello. - Barbara. Hello. 163 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,739 I am so sorry, senator hallowes. 164 00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:47,783 - The president is calling. - Oh, dear. I'm sorry. 165 00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:49,201 Excuse me just for one second. 166 00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:52,870 Listen, while you take your fake phone call, is it okay if I steal Dan for a second? 167 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,539 Or should I say steal Dan back? 168 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,082 Could you hold on just one second? 169 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:58,228 You know what? Actually, this phone call is not fake. 170 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,088 And Dan is his own man. He can go wherever he wants. 171 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,900 - Okay. This way, Dan. - I'm sorry to keep you holding, Mr. President. 172 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,134 You know who's a fucking diva? 173 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,617 - That's a fucking diva. - That one. 174 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,139 - So how's college? - It's good. 175 00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:13,201 You know, except for the whole secret service detail, I think I'm actually... 176 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:15,328 - Office of the vice president. - Starting to blend in. 177 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,063 No, at lunchtime she eats lunch. Goodbye. 178 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:20,940 Have you chosen a new dog yet? 179 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:22,734 What dog? 180 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:25,098 Your mom is getting a dog. Apologies if that was a secret. 181 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,031 Office of the vice president. 182 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,951 You dumped my daughter by text and didn't even apologize. 183 00:07:32,036 --> 00:07:35,496 Oh, no, I did. I signed off with colon open brackets. 184 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,959 Listen, is selina really trying to appease the oil lobby with Chuck furnam? 185 00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:41,252 I suppose Chuck could be viewed as a gesture. 186 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,212 Chuck is a gesture all right. 187 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,466 Do you know what these oil wise guys call him? 188 00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:48,468 They call him, "who the fuck is Chuck furnam?" 189 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,929 Chuck furnam's at 12:15. Now he's at 12:00. Now he's here. 190 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:54,141 - Madam vice president. - Chuck! How are you? 191 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,601 - I was promised movement on the clean jobs. - Yes. 192 00:07:56,684 --> 00:08:01,814 Between us, we might possibly make your announcement today. 193 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,734 - Yes. Yes. - Yes. Right. 194 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,027 - Oh, my. - Fantastic. 195 00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,505 - Thank you, ma'am. - And, you know, 196 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,614 I've been thinking ever since I saw them, 197 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:12,368 - your grandchildren, Marion and... - Richard. 198 00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:16,121 Yes, Richard. And I have some vice presidential m&ms 199 00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,998 that I would love for them to have. 200 00:08:18,082 --> 00:08:20,268 You see the seal right there? Except we'll need another one 201 00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:22,044 because there are two grandchildren. 202 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,670 - I'm out. - You're out? 203 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,089 - I'm out. - Oh! Hmm. Well, that's a shame. 204 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,508 I don't know how that happened. Okay. 205 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,551 - Thank you so much. - You're so welcome. 206 00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:32,512 Wake up, Dan. This is oil. 207 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:36,766 You nominate Chuck furnam, and these guys will fucking take his head off with a shovel. 208 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,518 Selina needs to find somebody else. 209 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,145 I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. 210 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,521 Carol hallowes, hi. 211 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:45,484 Oh, Mrs. Reeves, I am so sorry for your loss. 212 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,653 Your husband was a massive player. 213 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,530 Politically speaking, of course. 214 00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:50,989 I'm Jonah. 215 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:54,367 - I work at the white house. - Are you okay, ma'am? 216 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,429 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't even realize. Are you okay? 217 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,205 Would you please get me a glass of water? 218 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:01,249 You know what? There aren't any waiters, at least that I've seen... 219 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:04,211 Jonah, would you please get her a glass of water? 220 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,087 Absolutely. Of course. Of course. 221 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,173 I guess all those tears must be dehydrating. 222 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,633 I don't think it works like that. 223 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:11,677 You know, I'll just get the water, okay? 224 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,886 Cock-blocking widow. 225 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,390 Senator Doyle went "black swan" over Chuck. 226 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,142 He says we promised him no oil. 227 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,311 I implied to Chuck that we would announce today. 228 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,564 Shit. Is he senile enough to forget? 229 00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:25,274 - Hey. - Hey, how was hallowes? 230 00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:27,860 - "Dan, hi. I hate Chuck furnam." - Wait, what? 231 00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,963 Yeah, she's predicting all kinds of backlash from oil. 232 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:32,113 How could oil not like Chuck furnam? 233 00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,782 - He's not oily enough. - Oh. 234 00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:36,743 Unconnected. For all the reasons that we loved him, they hate him. 235 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:41,623 Okay, so now we have two catch-22 situations simultaneously. 236 00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:43,584 Is there even a name for that? 237 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,419 - How about catch-44? - Gary. 238 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,755 Okay, I'm gonna run it by an oil lobbyist. 239 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,589 - Sidney purcell is right there. - Oh, good. 240 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,008 - Do that, Amy. Go. - Okay. 241 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,012 Well, most of the party photos need to be removed. 242 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,014 I don't know. Use your instincts 243 00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,100 and your eyes, then your hands and arms. Thank you. 244 00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:02,685 It's really nice that my mom's getting a new dog. 245 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,373 - I always wanted a dog. - Hey, Catherine, you want some more coffee? 246 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,149 No, I'm still drinking this one. 247 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:09,192 You know, you don't have to entertain me. 248 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,487 - I'm cool with my own thoughts. - Oh, thank god. 249 00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:14,155 'Cause I'm getting e-mails like every other heartbeat. 250 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,616 Yeah. 251 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:17,618 Oh, hi, Sidney. How are you? 252 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,410 Oh, good. You know, full of free shrimp. 253 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,746 Hey, here's the thing, clean jobs. 254 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:25,208 Clean jobs, yeah. What's going on there? You guys got a name yet? 255 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:28,962 You too afraid of wrecking the earth's resources to print up a press release? 256 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,964 I was actually gonna run a name by you. 257 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:34,258 Don't say Chuck furnam. Do not say Chuck furnam. 258 00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:38,179 If you say Chuck furnam, I will go into anaphylactic fucking shock. 259 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,389 - I'm saying Chuck furnam. - Fucking hell! 260 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,702 Are you kidding me? Chuck furnam? That's fucking official? 261 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,187 - Chuck is oil. - No. No, no, hey. I'm sorry, no. 262 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:48,273 He's not oil. He's a fucking fossil, but he's not oil. 263 00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,359 We need somebody who is plugged in. 264 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:53,042 The only thing that Chuck is plugged into is his fucking piss bag. 265 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,364 Your comments are noted. 266 00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:57,366 - Oh, good. I love being noted. - Thank you. 267 00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,910 - He said, "fuck Chuck." - Oh, my god. 268 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,663 Okay, Chuck is dead and we're gonna just have to keep him quiet 269 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:05,248 because this whole place is swarming with bored reporters 270 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,833 who are on pervert memorial duty. 271 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,504 So your job, Mike, is to keep him in your sight 272 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:13,089 - until we find a replacement. - Okay, where'd he go? 273 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,900 - He must be in the bathroom. - That prostate of his. 274 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,176 Get in there, Mike. Go. 275 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,580 This in no way will be demeaning. 276 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,179 Just pretend you're picking him up, you know, and he's blind. 277 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,242 Mayday at 10 o'clock. Senator Doyle is approaching. 278 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:23,767 Sidney purcell, too, five o'clock. 279 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,561 Hallowes is in quadrant three right behind you, right behind you. 280 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,081 - We've got to get out of here. - Widow walk. 281 00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,624 People don't shout at you when you're standing 282 00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:31,041 next to the dead man's grieving widow. 283 00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,193 - That's very good. - Mrs. Reeves. 284 00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:34,671 Dan egan, I'm with the vice president. 285 00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,840 I just wanted to tell you how much I thought of your husband. 286 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:39,700 Well, thank you. What a handsome young man. 287 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:40,969 - Quite the wilf yourself. - You're back. 288 00:11:40,993 --> 00:11:44,496 Yes, I'm back. Unfortunately we're just about to leave. But I wanted to say... 289 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,975 But if you could perhaps walk the vice president out to her car... 290 00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:50,002 Delightful. It will give us a chance for some juicy gossip. 291 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:51,377 - Okay. - Now is it true 292 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:54,422 that the first lady calls you creepy veepy? 293 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:59,052 I'm very excited about it. Goodbye. 294 00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:02,681 What are you excited about, Chuck? Are you the new face of Louis Vuitton? 295 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,243 Have you been telling people about your appointment to clean jobs? 296 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,978 What's the problem? The vice president told me it's as good as announced. 297 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,273 As good as announced is not announced. 298 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:15,027 You are as good as dead, but you're not actually dead. Not yet. 299 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,988 Okay, Doyle and the party hate me because of Chuck 300 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,365 and oil hates me because of Chuck. 301 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,802 First lady hates you because you're prettier. 302 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:25,161 Yeah, that's not what we're talking about right now, okay? 303 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,917 I need time. Do I have time? Get me more time. 304 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,811 You're supposed to be having lunch with Catherine. 305 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,755 - Shit! Gary, call sue. - What do you want me to tell her? 306 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,715 Tell her that I'm canceling the lunch that was supposed to prove 307 00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,318 there's nothing more important than Catherine 308 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:42,011 because something more important than Catherine has come up. 309 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,180 - Hi, sue. - That's okay, Gary. I got all that. 310 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:47,309 - Okay. - Your mom should be here momentarily. 311 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:57,110 - Oh, she's... - Oh, there's my girl! 312 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:59,946 - My college girl. - Hi, mother. 313 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,574 Hi, darling. I'm sorry to keep you waiting, baby. 314 00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:03,950 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 315 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,535 - I was just bonding with sue. - Oh, good. 316 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,704 Oh, sue, did the president call? 317 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:16,337 Um, okay. Well, come. Step into my crib. We can hang. 318 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,842 You guys ditched me at a pervert's memorial. That's some cold shit. 319 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:23,595 - Catherine, hey. - Hey, buddy. 320 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:24,846 We need to talk. 321 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:27,056 So I have to have a little meeting 322 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:30,518 to find out what the "f-word" is going on around here. 323 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,436 - Okay. - We'll do this quick. That's right. 324 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:36,900 Dan, why don't you look after Catherine while we attend to this urgent policy matter? 325 00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:39,444 Dan, you've never met Catherine. Have you met Catherine? 326 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,363 - No. - No, you haven't. Come here. Come here. 327 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:44,992 Come, come. Catherine, this is Dan. 328 00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:47,494 - Hi. - He works in yo mama's office. 329 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:53,124 So why don't you tell Dan about the, you know... 330 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,420 Experimental theater course? 331 00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:01,591 Uh, sure. Yeah. You can talk to him about that. 332 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,718 You can talk about anything. 333 00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,679 - Dan: Anything. - Anything. 334 00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,764 Talk, talk, talk. 335 00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:12,059 Now that we have the permission to talk about anything... 336 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:17,064 Have you ever read faulkner before? 337 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:20,609 A little bit. 338 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,196 Chuck furnam leaked. 339 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,114 Now what are our options, Mike? 340 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:28,159 Look, I don't know, okay? It's like a fucking rubik's cube. 341 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,579 - I mean, it's impossible at this point. - What, Mike? 342 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,706 A rubik's cube is not impossible to solve. 343 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,332 I saw a Chinese kid do it in like 10 seconds. 344 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,500 Ten seconds, Mike. 345 00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:39,129 Let me just have a deep think, okay? I need some me time. 346 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,338 Just let me get deep. 347 00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,759 He's not wrong. We are in a tight corner. 348 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,552 - That's the nature of the job, I guess. - Ooh, I'm not complaining. 349 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,304 I am glad to be off dogs and hurricanes 350 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,432 and back in a good old Washington shit storm. 351 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,225 Speaking of dogs, what's happening in that department? 352 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,186 - I'm on it. - Okay. 353 00:14:56,563 --> 00:15:01,233 Have you reached a dog verdict yet? Your mom said your decision is final. 354 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,401 Yeah, this one. 355 00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:05,738 Yeah, it looks astonished. 356 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:08,449 Like it's attached to jumper cables or something. 357 00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:09,618 I think he's cute. 358 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:10,993 - Okay, yeah. Yeah. - Hey, guys. 359 00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,246 Honey, you've got to change. 360 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,581 Or you're wearing that. Are you wearing that? 361 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,458 Yeah, I was planning on it, unless... 362 00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:18,959 Great. Cool. Fantastic. 363 00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:22,589 Can we have just a quick second to chat? 364 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,799 - Yes, sure. - Thank you. 365 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:26,634 - Oh... - I will get out. 366 00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:29,512 Amy, if I could just talk to you for a quick sec. 367 00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,890 - If I could. - Okay. Yeah. 368 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:34,476 - Not a problem. - Thank you, darling. 369 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:37,270 What is that skirt? Is it a rug? 370 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,123 No, I don't think so. I think they do that now. 371 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,774 How is she? Is she good? 372 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:44,027 Well, you know, yeah. She's her normal self. 373 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,404 - Really great. - Oh, good. 374 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:49,073 So do we have a plan to solve this rubik's cube? 375 00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:51,451 - I've been going over... - Dan: Here's an idea. 376 00:15:51,535 --> 00:15:55,538 We announce the dog. It's soft wash, breakfast news, but we tease it out. 377 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,499 We say we're looking for a name. An ocean of ideas comes pouring in. 378 00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:01,544 Meantime, we're buying time to figure all the other shit out. 379 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,922 That's kind of a great idea. 380 00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:08,551 - Amy: Okay. - Did she choose a dog? 381 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,512 Woof. 382 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:14,474 You got to be fucking kidding me. I hate these animals. 383 00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:18,144 This thing is... unbelievably cute. 384 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,497 Ma'am, senator Doyle just arrived 385 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,541 and he has a face like he's been stabbed in the groin. 386 00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:24,127 Um, okay. I can't talk to him 'cause I'm with my daughter right now. 387 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:26,236 - Perhaps the widow walk? - Oh, the widow walk. 388 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,999 - Madam vice president. - You're the widow. 389 00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:29,882 - Come, honey. - Why are you ignoring me, ma'am? 390 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,925 We're gonna just pretend... Darling, don't turn around. 391 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:33,886 - Just keep your head towards me. - I've been here. 392 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,037 Just pretend like you're talking seriously to me. 393 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,307 - Wait, mom, what's wrong with your face? - No, nothing, darling. 394 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,434 - I'm pretending to talk to you. - But we are talking. 395 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,544 No, no, I mean, it's a pretend... 396 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,884 I was given your word, ma'am, 397 00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,887 that nobody from oil was gonna be on the task force, 398 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,597 and now I've got this Chuck bullshit. 399 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,684 Andrew, this whole thing is so nuanced. 400 00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:01,021 And I have a ton of interests that I have to square... 401 00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:05,358 Twenty years ago, you had no power, but you had balls. 402 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:08,028 - Now look at you. - Yeah, now look at me. 403 00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,780 I have a dick and balls, okay? 404 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:12,866 Can we not have this... 405 00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:17,537 No, please. Don't stop because of me. This is really interesting. 406 00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:26,378 Hi, I don't think we've had the chance to meet, but I'm thrilled that you're here. 407 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:29,215 - Congrats on 20 years in DC. - Madam vice president. 408 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:32,135 The vice president has decided to adopt a rescue animal. 409 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:35,096 - What kind of animal? - Um, it's a dog. 410 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,849 A dog? What, like your dog, Mike? 411 00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:38,975 Thank you very much. 412 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,770 Andrew Miller, program director at rainforest conservancy. 413 00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:44,897 - Plays the trumpet. - What important work you do. 414 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,524 And that's not just the high notes. 415 00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,317 - I have a recital coming up. - Okay. 416 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:51,714 - You could have said, "don't blow it." - No, I'm not gonna say that. 417 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,740 Look at Gary go. 418 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,784 He's like a human teleprompter for small talk. 419 00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:58,912 - He calls this Gary-oke. - It's so weird. 420 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:01,039 It's like he's the horse whisperer or something. 421 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:03,749 Not that I think your mother's a horse. 422 00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:06,126 Jim wiseman, united laminates and guest. 423 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,255 - Wife, not his daughter. Wife, not daughter. - Jim. 424 00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:11,138 - Madam vice president. Good to see you. - Oh, it's so good to see you. 425 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,551 Mom's smile is starting to crack. 426 00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:15,928 It's like her divorce face. 427 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,682 Oh, hey, I come from a broken home, too. 428 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:22,060 I found that the turmoil made me more focused, 429 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,687 more passionate, more determined to get the things I want. 430 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:28,525 I'm Jonah, by the way. I work at the west wing of the white house. 431 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,986 As opposed to what, the west wing of Graceland? 432 00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:32,546 Yeah, I can get you a tour if you'd like. 433 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,173 Yeah, I've seen it before. 434 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,824 Jonah, west wing. 435 00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:37,593 So how'd the dog announcement go, buddy? 436 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,119 Uh, like a bacon burka. 437 00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:41,538 What does that mean? Bacon burka? 438 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,540 Nothing. Just if burkas were made of bacon... 439 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:47,459 See, it's kind of an open secret in Washington that Mike has an imaginary dog. 440 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,628 - Why? - Gets him out of staying late for work. 441 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,923 - We call it his bullshit-tzu. - That's kind of genius. 442 00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,719 - Thanks, Todd. - Problem? Problem? 443 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,973 Last two on the deck of the Titanic, huh? 444 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:04,226 Yeah, I think I mightjump. 445 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,313 You know, I can see right through your shirt. Is it designed that way? 446 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,232 - Ma'am. We have an issue. - Yes? 447 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:14,321 The white house says that they would like a, quote, Sidney purcell-type figure 448 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,114 involved on clean jobs. 449 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:19,159 - The person. - What a fistful of fucks. 450 00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:21,702 You put Sidney purcell on clean jobs, it's over. 451 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,345 It's done. No one's gonna stomach that. 452 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:26,267 - Well, what do you got? - I kind of want to call them out on their bluff. 453 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,750 - I got something. - What... 454 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:28,917 Mr. Purcell. 455 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,087 - Hi, Dan egan, vice president's office. - Hi, Dan. 456 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:34,257 The vice president would love to have you on the clean jobs task force, 457 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,068 but we both know that would look fucking horrible. 458 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,653 - Thank you. - So what we're proposing is this. 459 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,220 - Chuck will stay on. - Oh, really? 460 00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:43,266 Okay, so you came over to tell me that you're disappointing the shit out of me. 461 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,578 I didn't know that. You should have led with that, buddy. 462 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:49,229 But you will have a private channel to the veep 463 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,856 on all clean job-related issues. 464 00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:53,692 You'll have more influence over policy than the fucking task force. 465 00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,444 I'm gonna go talk to Catherine. 466 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:56,862 She just got a new roommate. 467 00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:59,114 I don't need factoids about my daughter, Gary. 468 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,867 Hi, honey. Look at you. You're standing all by yourself. 469 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,452 I'm fine, mom. 470 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,499 Are you hungry, love? Do you want food? 471 00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:10,125 - Uh, no. It's okay. I already ate. - Okay. 472 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:12,772 Oh, look here. They want to take a picture. 473 00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:14,005 - Oh, god. - Let's do that. 474 00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:15,673 Yeah, put your drink down, babe. 475 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,943 - Mom, I really hate pictures. - No, honey, you're pretty. 476 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,386 You just smile, now. Smile. 477 00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:21,388 Catherine, I'm really serious. Smile, okay? 478 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:22,931 There you go. 479 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:26,308 Oh, that's gonna be good. That's gonna be sweet. 480 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:34,650 I heard you have a new roommate. 481 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,402 Uh-huh. 482 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:37,987 - Dilka. - What? 483 00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,155 - Dilka. - Dilka? 484 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,368 - I think her dad's Iranian. - Iranian? 485 00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:46,027 Ah, senator. Just wanted to let you know that your noise 486 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,871 about Chuck furnam did the trick. 487 00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,250 - He's off. Yeah. - Well, that is great. 488 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,626 How did that happen? 489 00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:53,086 Well, oil was so pissed 490 00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:55,314 that we tried to put lightweight Chuck onto the task force 491 00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:57,525 that they forced the president to go with somebody else, 492 00:20:57,549 --> 00:20:58,800 Sidney purcell. 493 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,385 Sweet hairy fuck. 494 00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,596 I need to speak to the vice president. 495 00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:07,016 That's great. Thank you so much. 496 00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,724 Hurricane selina, they say they can change the name. 497 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:10,812 Oh, you're kidding me. 498 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,272 - That is incredibly great news. - Well done. 499 00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:15,232 You're changing the name of a hurricane? 500 00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:17,944 Yeah. There was gonna be a hurricane selina, 501 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:21,530 and that would have been a disaster for us. 502 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:24,033 Yeah, naturally. It's amazing. 503 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:27,828 You're trying to control the weather. You are not fucking Thor, mom. 504 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,538 I'm just gonna go do my homework. 505 00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,166 No, Catherine, listen. 506 00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:33,460 It's a much more complicated and nuanced situation. 507 00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:37,755 No, it's really not. Don't you yes-men ever say no to her? 508 00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:40,300 - Of course they do. - Yeah, we do. Yeah. 509 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,861 - Exactly. - All right, you know what? 510 00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:43,111 You're a little bit out of control. 511 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,415 - Come with me. - Out of control? 512 00:21:45,263 --> 00:21:47,032 Yes. No, don't say, "ow." You know that didn't hurt. 513 00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:49,684 Get into here. I need to talk to you for a second. 514 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:52,145 Not everything is always about you. 515 00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:56,482 I know that everything isn't always about me. I know that. 516 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,734 You're changing the name of a hurricane, mom. 517 00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,569 This is how it works. 518 00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,489 This is real life. This is complicated. 519 00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:06,200 - This is nuanced. You need experience. - Nuanced? 520 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:09,119 Mom, stop talking to me like a fucking politician. 521 00:22:09,204 --> 00:22:12,331 I've been trying, Catherine. I've been trying to talk to you this whole day. 522 00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:14,209 - About what? - About everything. 523 00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:17,002 I didn't even know that you had a new roommate. 524 00:22:17,085 --> 00:22:19,171 What's-his-ass had to tell me. 525 00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:23,467 I know. Gary told you. All you have to do, mom, is ask. Seriously. 526 00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:30,058 Okay. How about this? 527 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:34,270 Um, listen. We are not gonna change the name of the hurricane. 528 00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:35,979 - Sure. - Thank you, mom. 529 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,815 I'm sorry I got so upset before. 530 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:40,026 - Oh, look at her apologizing. - Not a problem. 531 00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:42,278 - Isn't she good to apologize? - Madam vice president. 532 00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:45,156 - We need to talk. - Okay. What can I do for you? 533 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,326 Well, you need to put Chuck furnam back on the task force. 534 00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:52,705 Wait, I'm confused, because now you're begging me 535 00:22:52,789 --> 00:22:55,041 to put back onto the task force 536 00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:59,087 the same person you were begging me to take off of the task force. 537 00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:03,091 When you say it out loud, you know, it does sound... 538 00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:04,509 Kind of idiotic. 539 00:23:04,592 --> 00:23:08,555 Well, but it's not as idiotic as the current filibuster system. 540 00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:10,449 You know what? I can find a way to get Chuck furnam 541 00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:11,951 on the task force for you, no problem. 542 00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:13,351 - Super. - Super. 543 00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:15,103 - Thank you, ma'am. - You betcha. 544 00:23:15,186 --> 00:23:17,188 How about that? 545 00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:19,064 Way to go, Dan. 546 00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:20,524 Catch-44, he caught it. 547 00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:21,650 Pow! 548 00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:23,169 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Are you guys all good on clean jobs? 549 00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:26,238 Chuck furnam is on and what? 550 00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:30,659 And Sidney purcell will stay on as an advisor in an unofficial capacity. 551 00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:33,621 - All right. Tick it. - We can pick up the dog tomorrow. 552 00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:35,558 - Great. - I'm sorry. What are you guys talking about? 553 00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:37,542 We're getting a dog. It's no big deal. 554 00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,085 Why wasn't I told about this? 555 00:23:39,168 --> 00:23:40,919 Why would you be told about that? 556 00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:44,506 The thing is, ma'am, flotus is currently procuring a canine for herself. 557 00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:47,594 The first dog, or fdotus, has been planned for weeks. 558 00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:50,637 We simply can't allow the possibility that your dog will overshadow fdotus. 559 00:23:50,721 --> 00:23:53,016 - Stop saying fdotus. - Ma'am, you need to kill the dog. 560 00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:55,451 Not literally, but, I mean, yeah, if it comes to it, then literally. 561 00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:58,438 - No! Kill the dog? Our dog? - No, honey. 562 00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:01,649 - Where is Mike? Where is he? - Back to his tits and dip. 563 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:05,194 You guys, are we seriously gonna let the guy 564 00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:07,905 with the police sketch face of a rapist tell us what to do? 565 00:24:07,989 --> 00:24:10,617 Oh, this rapist face gets eights. 566 00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:12,368 Consensually, I might throw in. 567 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:14,095 Why are we killing the dog? I just announced it. 568 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,247 Because the first lady is getting one, so now I can't get one. 569 00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:19,959 - Why don't I know this? - Because you're incompetent. 570 00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:22,253 Here's an idea. Mike's already got a dog. 571 00:24:22,337 --> 00:24:25,173 He's got the whole setup for one, the blankets, the crate, the balls, 572 00:24:25,256 --> 00:24:26,456 all the little toys and stuff. 573 00:24:26,507 --> 00:24:28,360 - Why doesn't he take the pooch? - That's a great idea. 574 00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:30,236 - No, no. - That'd be great solution. Great solution. 575 00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:32,012 Simon is an Alpha male. 576 00:24:32,095 --> 00:24:33,681 Actually, I think that is a good idea. 577 00:24:33,765 --> 00:24:36,059 - Why are you guys laughing? - Stop, mom. 578 00:24:36,142 --> 00:24:38,519 Seriously, Mike has a fake dog. 579 00:24:38,603 --> 00:24:41,146 You're like the only one here who doesn't know that. 580 00:24:41,606 --> 00:24:42,690 What? 581 00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:45,360 Yeah, he uses it to get out of stuff like if he's late. 582 00:24:45,443 --> 00:24:47,153 It's called a shit-bull terrier. 583 00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:49,364 - It's a bullshit-tzu. - Bullshit-tzu. 584 00:24:50,698 --> 00:24:51,949 Is this true, Mike? 585 00:24:52,033 --> 00:24:53,325 It got a little out of hand. 586 00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:55,452 You carry a picture of it in your wallet, Mike. 587 00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:56,870 I just got it from Google images. 588 00:24:56,953 --> 00:24:58,790 I'm sorry, ma'am. I thought you knew, ma'am. 589 00:24:58,873 --> 00:25:01,501 - Othennise I would not have been laughing. - Gary knew? 590 00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:03,961 - Even fucking Gary knew? - Okay. 591 00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:05,713 You are getting the dog. 592 00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:11,803 You are getting this little rat-faced, repulsive, yappy, 593 00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:13,513 decrepit-looking terrier. 594 00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:18,308 Wow, I'm glad that you were so honest about liking the one that I chose. 595 00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:20,953 Catherine, I didn't... okay, now I've got to deal with that situation. 596 00:25:20,977 --> 00:25:22,354 So thank you. 597 00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:24,732 - Catherine. - Maybe I've got a real excuse now. 598 00:25:26,401 --> 00:25:28,277 - Sue's pretty wasted. - Yeah. 599 00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:31,072 And arguably a nine. 600 00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:36,244 - Hey, sue. - Jonah. 601 00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:39,372 You got a convenient opening I can slide into? 602 00:25:39,455 --> 00:25:41,541 Open up a slot for Jonah? 603 00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:44,627 There's not enough alcohol in the world, Jonah. 604 00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:48,131 - Didn't say no. - No! 605 00:25:49,465 --> 00:25:50,818 Hey, ma'am, can I get you a glass of white wine? 606 00:25:50,842 --> 00:25:51,843 - Yeah. - Okay. 607 00:25:52,385 --> 00:25:54,512 Amy, would you please... 608 00:25:54,595 --> 00:25:56,073 Get the hurricane name changed. Already done it. 609 00:25:56,097 --> 00:25:57,181 Good. 610 00:25:58,182 --> 00:26:01,144 It's not too diva-like, this party, is it? 611 00:26:01,227 --> 00:26:04,147 - No, I think we gotjust the right tone. - Yeah. 612 00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:07,607 - People definitely aren't having too much fun. - Mmm-hmm. 613 00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:09,277 Okay, here we go. 614 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,319 - There. - Thank you. 615 00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:12,404 Bottoms up. 616 00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:26,543 - So, you want to mingle? - Yeah. 617 00:26:26,626 --> 00:26:28,920 Let's go mingle the shit out of 'em. 618 00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:31,173 Ernest lainchbury, lifeboat association. 619 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:33,675 - He's got a glass eye. - I... 620 00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:36,011 Am so happy you're here. 621 00:26:36,470 --> 00:26:38,765 Jenny armitage, disabled sports of america. 622 00:26:38,848 --> 00:26:42,310 - Just had triplets. - Oh, triplets. Wow. 623 00:26:42,393 --> 00:26:45,396 That must have hurt. Unless you had a c-section. 624 00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:48,775 Carlos esquerra, ceo of the nasdaq omx group. 625 00:26:48,858 --> 00:26:50,234 I got nothing. Use your Spanish. 626 00:26:54,197 --> 00:26:56,532 Robert Van Der merkle, head of gambling commission. 627 00:26:56,616 --> 00:26:58,117 Pro-gambling. Loves to kill. 628 00:26:58,201 --> 00:27:00,787 Hey, there. 629 00:27:00,870 --> 00:27:03,706 Corey wilk, special advisor to the supreme court of Michigan. 630 00:27:03,831 --> 00:27:06,918 He's got a brother in rage against the machine. 631 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:11,523 Tell your brother I love his music. 632 00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:13,757 Carrie stringer, center for social action. 633 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,218 - He's a triathlete. - No, he's not. 634 00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:18,512 Hello. 635 00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:19,971 Woman: Liam Miller, NASA. 636 00:27:20,055 --> 00:27:22,098 Okay, that's an acronym for national aeronautics... 637 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:23,350 - I... stop it. - Okay. 638 00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:24,976 It's so late. 639 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:27,729 The reverend Terrance Clark, church of the living Christ. 640 00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:31,525 Gary: He's a baker. Selina: Christ has risen. 641 00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:33,368 Woman: Hyun-joo Lee, urban placemakers forum. 642 00:27:33,443 --> 00:27:34,736 Gary: He's Korean.