You unlock this door with the k e y of ima Gina t/on.
Beyond it is another dimension...
A dimension of sound,
A dimension of sight,
a dimension of mind.
You're moving into a land of both shadowand substance,
of things and ideas.
You've just crossed over into the twilight zone.
Oh, sure, it's a nice watch,
but I'm sorry, Mr. West.
I'm afra/d tha t tha t's all I can give you.
That belonged to my grandfather.
Five dollars, Mr. West.
Now, don't you worry.
Your luck is bound to get better.
Oh, sure, sure it will.
Now, listen, I'll be coming back
real soon to claim that
so please, don't sell it, huh?
I'll do my best.
Thank you.
For 30 days, at least.
Mr. Wes t?
I'll, uh...
I'll give you $25 for him.
Oh, thank you, no.
No, thank you, he's not for sale.
Oh, good afternoon, Mrs. Cudahy.
Hello, Mr. West.
Nuts.
Why, Susan, I'm warning you for the last time now.
Stop playing with those poison darts.
They're not really poison, aunt Agnes,
and I missed him anyway.
Wanna bet you didn't get a job?
Susan. Go out and play.
Oh, I am so sorry, Mr. West.
I don't know what to do
with that little girl.
That's perfectly all right.
I imagine you have your hands full.
You just s/t right here and relax
and I'll fix us some dinner.
A fella deserves something in his stomach
at the end of a tough day, huh?
Now, this ought to do it.
I'll warm up some of that fine potato soup I made for you.
And don't you worry...
We're gonna get a booking
any da y now, you and me.
We're going to be headliners
just like you and that other fellow used to be.
Only I won't skip out on you like he did.
No, sir.
The shame of it all.
Abandoning you for some woman!
No, sir!
It's going to be you and me, pal, together forever!
Why don't you stop kidding yourself, buddy?
Face it, you're finished.
Jona than Wes t, ven tr/I oou/s t,
a master of voice man/pula t/on.
A man, late of Ireland,
with a talent for putting words into other peoples' mouths.
In this case, the other person is a dummy aptly named Caesar,
a small splinter with large ideas,
a wooden tyrant with a mind and a voice of his own
who is about to talk Jonathan west into the twilight zone.
Tonight's the night.
I can feel it,
we're going to knock 'em dead.
Wait till they hear the new material.
Oh, hello, Susan.
Show me how you make him talk.
Oh, I'd like to, Susan,
but we're in a hurry right now.
We're on our way downtown.
We've got an important appointment.
An audition, as a matter of fact.
Just do it once, Jonathan.
The part where he laughs.
I want to see if your lips move.
All right.
Caesar, what did the lady say
she would do to you
if you ever misbehaved again?
She sa ID
she'd slice me into a venetian blind.
And you replied?
I said
"oh, you make me shudder!"
I didn't see your lips move.
That's right, you didn't.
If you're so good,
then how come you can't get a job?
Well, all that's going to change,
young lady, tonight.
You've said that before.
Susan, where are you?
Go on, run along.
You won't get the job.
Hey, pal!
Keep that brat out of this room.
Now, now, don't you worry about her,
my lovely friend.
We're going to kill 'em.
Oh, and Caesar, there's a man outside.
What about it?
A man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Is that so?
What's the name of his other leg?
Would you like me to go through
the juvenile delinquent routine, Mr. Miller?
It's really very funny.
No, that'll be all.
Just leave your phone number.
We'll get in touch with you.
Maybe Mr. Miller had a fight
with his wife at breakfast.
Maybe he heard your bad jokes.
Ah, morning, Mrs. Cudahy.
It's a fine lovely day, isn't it?
Yes, it is, Mr. West.
I have to talk to you.
I know, Mrs. Cudahy, it's about the rent.
I'll have that straightened out by this evening.
Oh, that'll be nice.
You see, I'm looking for a job
something till the show biz picks up.
Well, as you're in that frame of mind
maybe I can help you.
Now, this is my cousin.
He works at that employment agency.
Well, thank you very much, Mrs. Cudahy.
My, you are a living darling!
Typing?
No, sir.
Salesman?
No, sir.
Mechanic?
. No.
Mr. West, have you ever held
a position of any sort?
Ever made any kind of a regular salary?
That is, besides show business?
Well, sir, uh... yes, I did.
Doing what, may I ask?
Back home I worked for a puppeteer
as his apprentice.
Apprentice?
Yes, sir, he taught me my trade.
And I came to your country to earn me fortune.
Well, then you're not a citizen, Mr. West?
Oh, no, sir, not yet, but I'm studying
and I soon will be.
That's very nice.
All right, we have your number.
We'll call you
if we get anything in your line.
Fl Jonathan can't find a job fl
Susan, why don't you go find
somebody else to bother?
The truth hurts!
And you're too scared to tell my aunt
because you're behind in your rent.
Now what?
I don't know.
It seems no matter what I try, I fail.
If I could just get some money together...
Enough for some food and to pay the rent...
I could think clearly without these pressures.
Just a little money for food and rent, is that it?
Is thatall you want out of life?
I guess so.
You're a cl od.
A real clod.
I try, I give it my best.
Your best stinks.
In the name of heaven, Caesar, I've had enough!
I'm the one who's had enough.
Get that through your head.
What do you mean?
Let me spell out the cold, hard facts...
The way it's gonna be and what you're gonna do.
Oh, forget it, I'm a failure.
Will you shut up and listen?
There's all kinds of ways to get hold of money.
I've tried everything.
You have not tried everything.
Now, shut up...
And listen.
Where are we now?
We're right in front of the furniture store.
I don't mean tha t, stupid!
I mean, how far are we from the del/ca tessen?
Please, not so loud!
Why, is there anyone around?
No, no, but please, be quiet!
Tell me when we're in front of our Mark.
Now what? t?
I lost my footing, it's very dark.
Good, tha t's a break.
Are we on the sidewalk now?
Yes, now we're right in front of the delicatessen.
Is the coast clear?
Yes.
There's absolutely no one around.
Oka y.
Then stop wast/ng time.
Move!
31... 32... 33.
There you are, Mrs. Cudahy
all paid up in full.
Will wonders ever cease?
Shh, Susan.
Isn't it nice to pay your bills?
Yes, ma'am.
Better count it again. See if they're real.
Susan, be a good girl and go tidy up your room.
Don't be fresh to Mr. West.
He has a new start on life, don't you?
That's right, a new start.
Don't let her worry you.
You know how children are these days.
Oh, I understand.
A common thief.
What a way to make a living.
You couldn't make it any other way.
What's happened to me?
What am I?
A no-talent ventr/I oou/s t.
Worse.
A second-rate thief.
Third-rate.
Starving to death.
In the profession I know
paying the bills by robbing the neighborhood delicatessen.
Well, that's show biz.
I guess I wasn't too bad
considering it was my opening performance.
Let me straighten you out
before you start taking too many bows.
Oh, Caesar, just let me alone, please.
No! Let me spell it out for you.
You act penny ante because you think penny ante.
That's the story of your life.
From now on,
you're gonna listen to me.
You're gonna get rid of that shanty Irish routine.
This is america.
What do you mean?
Open your eyes! Lookaround you!
The streets are paved with gold, and it's sitting out there
waiting for us.
Think you're smart, don't you, Mr. Stuck-up?
Just 'cause you're on the stage.
You can talk!
I heard you!
Come on, say something.
I dare you.
Susan!
What were you doing in my room?
You're hurting me, I'll tell my aunt.
Didn't she tell you to stay out of the guest rooms?
What were you doing in there?
Wouldn't you like to know?
You brat, tell me what you were doing.
You're so smart, ask him.
Caesar.
Caesar, what happened?
Sit down.
Did she do anything to hurt you?
Never mind tha t.
First things first.
We've got to get of here. I'm scared.
Maybe she knows.
This is no time to get chicken.
After tonight's job,
we'll be on easy street.
You don't understand
I'm not cut out for this line of work.
Take it easy. You 're ea ting, aren't you?
You're pa y/ng the rent.
Where were you before?
Now, listen to me.
This is the big one.
But this is the last one.
The end for me.
Yea h, sure.
Sure it is, pal.
Just one more.
The "really big shoe."
It's all right so far. There's no one around.
Then get moving. Up to the front office.
It's onl y the mice.
Get going before theya tta ck us.
And stop shak/ng.
H urr y up.
You got the wire?
Yes.
Remember, if the wa tchman comes around,
just sta yas calm as you can
and explain you were looking for Mr. Miller, '
that you were supposed to meet him here.
Slowlynow.
It'll work.
Suppose it doesn't.
Supposing I can't open it.
You opened the back door, didn't you?
Now, stop wh/n/ng.
You wanna be poor again?
It clicked.
Open it, stupid.
Hold it out there!
Who is it?
Jonathan west, sir, the ventriloquist.
Mr. Miller told me to meet him after closing.
Oh, yeah?
Yes, sir.
Have you met Caesar, sir?
Caesar, can you say hello
to the nice gentleman from in there?
Wha t are you, the house dick?
No, I'm the night watchman.
Listen, fla tfoot, with the job you're doing
it's a wonder the mice ha ven't he/sted the joint.
Now, Caesar, that's enough.
I'm sorry, sir.
I'm afraid he's a born comic.
Sure, I remember you now from the other day.
You were audit/on/ng.
Mr. Miller went home.
He left about 45 minutes ago.
Really? I'm sorry.
He should stuck around and caught our act.
We're very big in Dublin.
Never mind, Caesar.
Thank you very much, sir.
I won't be keeping you.
Good night.
/'d feel better
if the wa tchman hadn't seen us.
/'ll cover for you.
I'm your al/bi.
But if tha t wa tchman reports me...
Not you, pal... us. We'rea team.
Sure, sure, I know that.
But what? tabout tha t night wa tchman?
Forget the wa tchman.
Shut up, go to bed.
"The ca r/ 0 ca cl ub robbed la s t n/gh t.
"Mana ger's off/ce I 00 Ted.
"Night watchman
providing police with clue."
Police department, please.
I know who robbed the carioca club last night.
K/nda Earl y /n the da y
to be h/tt/ng the juice, ain't it, dill/nger?
You likea roof over your head, don't you?
Now don't give me your common thief routine again, huh?
A man has to live with himself.
Even if he lives in the gutter.
Oh, Mr. West, these two gentlemen,
they're from the police department
and they want a word with you.
Why, certainly.
Won't you come in please?
What could I do for you, gentlemen?
Well, you see...
Thank you, Mrs. Cudahy.
Mr. West, I'd like to ask you a few questions.
Mrs. Cudahy, would you mind waiting?
You may be of some help.
Oh, of course.
Mr. West is one of my favorite boarders.
I'd ask you to sit down, gentlemen,
but I don't have many chairs.
It's just a room for one.
Me and my friend, that is.
But it suits me just fine.
Mr. West, where were you last night at around midnight?
He was at home, I'm sure.
He seldom goes out at night.
I seldom go out at night.
Mr. West, the desk sergeant
received an anonymous phone call
which leads us to believe you were not in your room.
We're almost always here at night.
You didn't go to the carioca looking for anyone?
The night club?
Oh, that night club.
That's a place where we might be working soon.
'Cause the night watchman said
that he saw you there...
Absolutely.
Oh, last night, you say.
Well, uh, let me think now.
Caesar and I had dinner and...
Tell them, Caesar.
Caesar, please, tell them.
Tell them I wouldn't hurt anyone.
I mean, I didn't use a gun or anything, did I?
Please, Caesar, tell them how we were gonna play the big time.
We're a team, you see.
You don't believe me, do you?
Well, you just ask him.
You ask Caesar.
Go on, tell them.
Tell them, Caesar.
Tell them how you were
onl y trying to help me...
To take the pressures off.
I tried to find a job and I couldn't.
Isn't that right?
You were only trying to help me... tell them.
The bills were piling up, there was no food to eat,
the rent was overdue and you were trying to help me.
Isn't that right, Caesar?
Pl ea se tell them, ca esa r.
Tell them that you were just trying to help me
and that I'm not a common thief, Caesar.
Please, Caesar.
I thought you said it was us.
Oh, Caesar.
He said we were a team.
Mr. West, you better come along with us now.
Such a nice man.
He's a no-good crook.
Pss t.
Hey, you.
Yeah, you.
Come over here, honey.
I know you f/nked on him.
You're a hip little kid.
I like you.
I knew you talked.
I knew it.
I want to ask you something.
You're not happy living here with your crummy aunt, are you?
That's a stupid question.
You'd probably like to run away from this flea trap.
I sure would.
Okay...
It's you and me, kid.
We're a team.
Is Mr. West going to jail?
Honey, he'll be gone a long, long time.
I know where he's got the money hidden.
We'll go to New York.
I'll show you the bright lights.
But what about my aunt?
Honey, you still got those poison darts?
A little g/rl and a wooden doll,
a lethal dummy in the shape of a man.
But everybody knows dummies can't talk...
Unless, of course, they learn the/r vocabulary
in the twilight zone.
And now, Mr. Serl/ng.
Next time out, you'll share a study in depth of human terror
with Martin landau and John Van dreelen.
You'll stay in a hotel room of a European city
which has been boobytrapped with a plastic bomb.
You'll walk around this room
with violent death resting on your shoulder.
It could be anywhere: A picture, a chair,
or simply the carpet you're walking on.
Next time out on the twilightzone,
"the jeopardy room."