1
00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:03,670
[Eerie music playing]

2
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:10,260
(Narrator) You unlock this door
with the k e y of ima Gina t/on.

3
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,346
Beyond it is another dimension.

4
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,598
A dimension of sound.

5
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:18,519
A dimension of sight.
A dimension of mind.

6
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:21,438
You're moving into a land of
both shadowand substance,

7
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,398
of things and ideas.

8
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:27,152
You've just crossed over
into the twilight zone.

9
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:35,452
[Static from different
TV stations]

10
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:40,791
[Woman on TV] Mother, I'm ha v/ng a
baby and /'d ra ther do it myself.

11
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:44,378
(Man) We'll ha ve to opera
te at once, soalpel. Suture.

12
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,712
Watch it, nurse!

13
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:48,006
[Woman screams]

14
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:51,969
Great dinner.

15
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,804
Glad you like it.

16
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,223
Tastes like corrugated plastic.

17
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,392
Keep being late.
What do you expect?

18
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,978
I don't expect nothing.
I'm just getting sick of it.

19
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,564
You're getting sick of
it? How do you think I feel?

20
00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:07,234
I don't get a man coming home. I
get a used article from the cab.

21
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:09,236
Hey, cut it down
to a roar, will you?

22
00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:12,322
Remember, we got
company. Anyway, I told you.

23
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,658
Guy hails me when I'm
heading for the garage.

24
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:18,245
Have to haul him all the
way up to-to-to yonkers.

25
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,997
I've heard that one before.

26
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,500
One day yonkers, one
day la guardia airport.

27
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,253
You don't fool me, Joe.
Who's the chick?

28
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,839
Ah, you're crazy.

29
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,966
[Woman on TV] M o ther.

30
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,761
Hey, how long is that guy gonna
be? I got wrestling coming on.

31
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:37,598
Big tag team match.

32
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,767
Fat Louie and the Russian Duke
versus the panther man and sweeney.

33
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:43,979
You can't look me in the
eye anymore, you're so guilty.

34
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,273
But don't jump
out a window, Joe.

35
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:48,525
One of these da ys,
I'll even up the score.

36
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,611
It'll bea real tight ball game.

37
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,655
You know, that good-looking
Freddy broome, the butcher,

38
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:57,367
he's always looking me over.
You'd think I was Cleopatra.

39
00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:01,788
Ah, shut up. What are you
trying to do, start a fight?

40
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,249
Once that joker in there
gets done fiddling,

41
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:08,462
I'm gonna watch wrestling
and then flake out. I'm pooped.

42
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:12,883
I'll bet you are. You drove to
yonkers, maybe even went twice.

43
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:16,053
You shouldn't drive so much,
Joe. You'll ruin your heal th!

44
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,305
(Man) Just $ 99.99.

45
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,890
How's it coming, Mike?

46
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,518
Who knows? It may live.

47
00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:27,814
You've been at it an hour now. I
could build a new set in half the time.

48
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,816
Oh? Is that so?

49
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,486
Sure, and you better get wise.

50
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,322
I didn't just step off
the ferry from Jersey.

51
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,074
I know how you guys operate.

52
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,076
Do you?

53
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,079
Na turall y. First you
kill a five-buck hour.

54
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:46,208
Then you say you got to take the
set down to the shop. Another 20 bucks.

55
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:49,836
Then you start switching
tubes around at $2.50 a crack.

56
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,839
I get some poor sucker's
old ones, and he gets mine.

57
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:56,218
It's a racket. That's what it
is. A penny-ante cosa nostra.

58
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,720
So, save yourself
a headache, see.

59
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,224
Iain't swing/ng
for no big bills.

60
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:05,560
In that case, the set's ready.

61
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:06,728
What?

62
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:09,606
It's, uh, it's ready.

63
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,109
And this time, it's on me.

64
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,652
Free.

65
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,947
Hey, wait a minute!

66
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,909
Well, you can't win them all.

67
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,706
[Door closes]

68
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,257
[Static crackling]

69
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:39,428
Your wife, your wife!
That's all I ever hear.

70
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:43,306
Hey, Phyllis, come on in. What
do you know? We get channel 10.

71
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,059
If you were any kind of a
man, you'd get rid of her.

72
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,812
Phyllis, hurry up,
will you? Channel 10!

73
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:53,150
I-I trusted you. I didn't
hold anything back. Iwaited!

74
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,901
[Woman crying]

75
00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:03,243
Aw, come on, don't cry. Do
anything but don't cry, will you?

76
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,745
[Woman keeps crying]

77
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:10,292
(Narrator) Portrait of a
TV fan. Name: Joe britt.

78
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,336
Occupa t/on.' Cab driver.

79
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,840
Tonight Mr. Britt is going
to watch a really big show.

80
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,801
Something special for the
cabby who's seen everything.

81
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:23,430
Joe britt doesn't know it, but his
flag is down and his meter's running,

82
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:27,601
and he's in high gear on
his way to the twilight zone.

83
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,789
Marr y me.

84
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,166
Marry you? Oh, now, look, baby,

85
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,710
we're talking about
two different things.

86
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,964
Love is flowers and
wine with the dinner.

87
00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:01,551
Marriage is a floor mop and
two pounds of hamburger.

88
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:05,555
Oh, well, I don't mind the
hamburger. Uh, with onions.

89
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,558
[Turns TV off]

90
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,396
What's the matter, Joe?

91
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,066
You struck dumb or something?

92
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,860
You big slob!
You spilled the beer.

93
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,321
It's a good thing your
mother gave us this rug.

94
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:26,993
I hateit, and anything, even
beer stains, is an improvement.

95
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:30,497
Now, ou/t clown/ng. You
say we can get channel 10?

96
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,457
Leave it alone.

97
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,876
What's the matter? Come
on, Joe, I got dishes to do.

98
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,753
I said leave it alone!

99
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,172
What's the matter with
you? You nuts or something?

100
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:43,009
You yell at me to come watch channel
10, and when I drop everything, you...

101
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,762
What's the matter, Joe?
Is the set still on the blink?

102
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,181
Yes! That is, no!

103
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,225
There must be something screwy.

104
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:54,396
You know there's no
channel 10 around here.

105
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,356
I'm sorry I yelled at you.

106
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,401
I must be traffic
happy or something.

107
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,822
I'll turn on the wrestling.

108
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:08,493
(Man) And now,
ladles and gentlemen,

109
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:12,706
for the main event of the
evening, we bring you a rema tch

110
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,542
between those two
titans of wrestling.

111
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,628
Those fearless performers
of the phys/cal arts.

112
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:22,883
The wild panther
and the Russian Duke!

113
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,719
[Crowd cheering and booing]

114
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:30,098
What happened to the tag
team? Fat Louie and sweeney?

115
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,059
[Crowd roaring]

116
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,811
[Loud cheering]

117
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,635
(Joe) Grea t dinner.

118
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,762
(Phyllis) Glad you liked /t.

119
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,764
Tastes like corruga Ted plastic.

120
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,933
Keep being late.
What do you expect?

121
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,810
I don't expect nothing.
I'm just getting sick of it.

122
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,438
You're getting sick of
it? How do you think I feel?

123
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:21,858
I don't get a man coming home. I
get a used article from the cab.

124
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,110
Hey, cut/tdown
toa roar, will, you?

125
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:27,113
Remember, we got company.
Anyway, I told you.

126
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,532
Guy hails me when I'm
heading for the garage.

127
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,661
Have to haul him all the
way up to-to-to yonkers.

128
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,537
I've heard that one before.

129
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:38,667
One da y yonkers, one
da y la guard/a airport.

130
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,462
Joe?

131
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,966
[TV sz'az'ic]

132
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,634
Joe!

133
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,552
Joe, wake up.

134
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,388
What's the matter?

135
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,060
Are you okay now?

136
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,229
What? What happened?

137
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:03,066
Well, I don't know.
You-you probably fainted.

138
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,567
Feel better?

139
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,570
Yeah. Yeah.

140
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,322
Sure.

141
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,494
Must have been something I ate.

142
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,163
Yeah, it could be.

143
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:20,291
Didn't it taste like
corrugated plastic?

144
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,586
Well, what did you expect?
I had to heat it three times.

145
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,505
[Static]

146
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,220
[Clicks TV off]

147
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,055
Listen, Joe, maybe
it's your heart.

148
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,433
Why don't you go to bed,
and I'll call a doctor?

149
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:41,104
No, there's just something
mighty screwy with that television.

150
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,565
Are we off on that again?

151
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,192
Listen, Phyllis,

152
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,696
are you sure you never
saw that repair guy before?

153
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,198
Now, I am gonna call a doctor.

154
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,451
Now, now, wait a
minute, wait a minute.

155
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,120
Phyllis,

156
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:01,291
what would you say
if I told you that

157
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,085
that I saw myself on TV?

158
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:07,380
Huh! Were you smiling?

159
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:10,550
And what would
you say if I told you

160
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,427
I saw you on TV?

161
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,972
You're cracked. You're
losing your marbles.

162
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,725
That's what I figured you'd say.

163
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,729
Okay, forget it.

164
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,482
You'rea stupid cow.
A bird brain!

165
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,275
Or else you're up to something.

166
00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,110
Joe, baby.

167
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,988
"Joe, baby." Never mind
that "Joe, baby" stuff.

168
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,407
I'm on to you. You're
trying to trap me!

169
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,577
Well, you'll have to get up
mighty early in the morning, see?

170
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,329
You are sick.

171
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,998
Now, listen, you go
back into the kitchen,

172
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:45,752
look up that repair guy in the phone book.
Tell him to come back here, you understand?

173
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,129
All right, Joe.

174
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,965
Because if he don't, I'll go
down to his shop, wherever it is,

175
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:54,094
and drag him here! Who do you
two think you're fooling with?

176
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,138
Okay, okay. I'll
call him right away!

177
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,932
Meanwhile, you get in bed.

178
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,781
Hello, Dr. Saltman,
this is Mrs. Britt.

179
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,700
Could you come
right over, please?

180
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:32,966
[Shrieks]

181
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,801
I'll kill you!

182
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,636
[Cackling]

183
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,763
Now turn on the TV, Joe!

184
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,229
You, you!

185
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,731
Come on! Come on! Give it up!

186
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:52,068
You, you... you call
yourself a wife?

187
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,736
[Screaming]

188
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,030
You dirty...

189
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,415
[Screaming]

190
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,710
[Screaming]

191
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,504
[Joe snarling]

192
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,506
Well, you will, huh?

193
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,094
Gonna kill me, are you?

194
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,929
I'll kill you!

195
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,931
Let me go!

196
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,892
[Joe cursing]

197
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,561
[Screaming]

198
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,734
[Crying] Phyllis.

199
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,652
Phyllis!

200
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:42,285
[Sobs] What have I done?

201
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:54,380
Phyllis. Phyllis!

202
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:55,798
[Static]

203
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:59,135
Now what's the matter, Joe?

204
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,472
Joe, what's the matter?

205
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,641
What's the matter?

206
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:08,102
Can't you hear? Can't you see?

207
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,146
Look!

208
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:18,238
Oh, god. It's a trick!

209
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:21,074
It's a trick! It's a trick!

210
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,408
[Sobbing]

211
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,217
Well, I've given him a sedative

212
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,595
and I'll write a prescription
for some tranquilizers.

213
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:46,015
And we'll just have
to wait and see.

214
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:51,020
Perhaps it would be wise for
you to seek more expert advice.

215
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,439
I'm only a family
doctor, you know,

216
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:56,943
and psychiatry
is not my specialty.

217
00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:01,614
However, I feel that your husband's
condition could be relatively simple.

218
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:05,994
I read an interesting paper on research that
might apply to your husband's condition.

219
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:08,288
What condition, doctor?

220
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,958
According to this article, it's
possible for anyone to have delusions

221
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,877
directly attributable to
our overmechanized culture.

222
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,379
Really?

223
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,756
Mm. Now, you say
he's a TV addict.

224
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,719
Perhaps he's been staring at this
electronic blessing, the television set,

225
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,887
for so long that
its life has become his.

226
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,556
Yeah?

227
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,058
And he's reached
such a stage of confusion

228
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:33,187
that he no longer knows whether he's
watching the action or participating in it.

229
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:37,150
Now, mind you, this is not an illness
affecting only the juvenile or moronic.

230
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,695
I, on occasion, have found myself
asking for sutures and sponges

231
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:44,240
during operations performed
by television surgeons. Oh.

232
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,492
Uh, but never mind.

233
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:51,331
In Mr. Britt's case, I-I rather feel
he thinks he has murdered you.

234
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,166
What?

235
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,543
Or rather, that he will.

236
00:13:55,626 --> 00:14:00,256
He seems to be quite bewildered
regarding the past, present and future.

237
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:04,010
Well, in any case,
it could be serious.

238
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:07,847
So, uh, would you have him in my
office first thing in the morning, hm?

239
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,724
All right, doctor.

240
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,352
And see that he gets a
good night's rest tonight.

241
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:13,519
Good night.

242
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,188
Good night, doctor.

243
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:33,790
You folks out there in TV land know
old country boy's not josh/ng you

244
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:37,251
when he tells you that this sale
ain't gonna be going on much longer.

245
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:40,213
'Cause as fast we move 'em in
now, we're gonna herd 'em out.

246
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,548
We buy by the herd, and
we sells 'em by the herd.

247
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,301
For you folks uptown,
that's called volume buying.

248
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,888
Well, now, shucks, aboutall a country
boy can do w/tha buck he makes ona sale

249
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,307
is to keep the lights on,
pa y the ranch hands.

250
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,893
You know that old country
boy shoots straight with you.

251
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:57,230
He tells you right now if any
of his beauties come up lame.

252
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,441
Will you take this
little phill yright here?

253
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,652
[Static hissing]

254
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,621
(Joe) Ph yl I is.

255
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:23,089
The doctor wants you to go to
sleep. That's why he gave you a sedative.

256
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:26,008
I can't sleep. You
wouldn't be able to, either,

257
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,469
if you'd seen what I did.

258
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,471
Well, stay awake.

259
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:34,016
Only, what you saw, I
don't want to hear about it.

260
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,435
He told you?

261
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,271
Yes. He said not to worry.

262
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:42,942
He said-he said for you to just go
to sleep and everything would be fine.

263
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,861
Is there anything I can get you?

264
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,947
No, no, that's okay. Phyllis.

265
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,532
Yes?

266
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,909
I gotta talk to you. Sit down.

267
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:55,163
Oh, no, you don't. Every time you
start that, we wind up having a fight.

268
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,457
And if you don't mind,
tonight I'm passing.

269
00:15:57,498 --> 00:16:01,669
I'll make sure there's no fight.
Don't you worry about that.

270
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:04,881
Anyway, I got nothing
to fight with you about.

271
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:10,303
If anyone is to blame for us not getting
along, it's me. Now, come on, sit down.

272
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,972
Oh, you are sick.
You're not well, Joe.

273
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:16,142
If you were in your right
noodle, you wouldn't talk like that.

274
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:20,688
No, I mean it. Come on, I mean
it. Come on, sit down, honey.

275
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,857
Look, Phyllis,

276
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:27,153
you know, driving a cab
is pretty lonely work.

277
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:30,490
You're all by yourself
for hours and hours,

278
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:33,910
and in between times,
people are yelling at you

279
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:38,915
to slow down, go ahead, to take
Madison Avenue, to not take Madison Avenue,

280
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,584
to turn right, left, stop.

281
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,378
And on top of it, everybody
says you're crooked.

282
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:48,382
So, when somebody comes along

283
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,511
and smiles at you
and calls you "mister,"

284
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:55,932
well, maybe you go all
to pieces and start to think

285
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,935
the moon and the stars
are your private property

286
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:03,606
and that it's spring. Well, you
act like a first-class donkey,

287
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:08,194
kick/ng up your heels
like you were 77 or 18.

288
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,071
Get what I mean?

289
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:17,370
Well, there ain't no point
in drawing you pictures.

290
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:22,083
What I was trying to tell
you is that, well, you know,

291
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:26,045
seeing you dead like
that, it was an awful shock

292
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:31,467
and it-it made me realize that... well,
you know what I'm trying to say.

293
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,636
No. Say it.

294
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,639
Okay, I will.

295
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:40,393
It took a shock like that
to make me realize that...

296
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:43,062
That you are not...

297
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:46,232
Well, it's you I'm in love with.

298
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:49,110
I'm touched.

299
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:50,486
All right.

300
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,572
I'm really touched!

301
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,907
All right, don't get nasty.

302
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:58,160
What am I supposed to do,
get all dewy and gooey?

303
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,246
Am I supposed to fall
all over myself

304
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:03,666
because my husband of 27
years finally decides he loves me?

305
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,876
I didn't mean it that way.

306
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,297
After chasing half the Bronx and
the entire borough of Manhattan,

307
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:13,092
you pin the blue ribbon on me,
which means I win a used nitwit

308
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:16,262
to feed, to pamper, to keep
and obey till death us do part!

309
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,180
Take it easy, Phyllis.

310
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,641
I'll take it easy. I'd take
a butcher knife to you

311
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,102
if you weren't in bed and
out of your right mind.

312
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:25,271
Who's out of his right mind?

313
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:29,650
You are! If you think I'm gonna
take your dirty doings lying down.

314
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,945
So some guy hailed you
on the way to the garage

315
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,156
and asked you
to take him to yonkers.

316
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:38,117
No wonder we've been short
of money for the last month!

317
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,370
You've been blowing it all
on that flea-bitten floozy!

318
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,872
Get out of here!

319
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,124
You bet I will!

320
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:49,670
If you think I'm gonna live with a
man that's done what you've done,

321
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,632
giving you the best
years of my life.

322
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,717
I trusted you!

323
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,721
Well, Mr. Britt, I'm
gonna take you to court.

324
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:02,725
You and that fancy woman
of yours, whoever she is!

325
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,144
Go ahead, if that's
what you want!

326
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:08,230
That's the thanks I get
for wanting to be honest.

327
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,317
That's the thanks I get for
wanting to turn over a new leaf.

328
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,777
[TV static crackling]

329
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,824
Kill me. I'd like
to see him try it.

330
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:22,620
I'll tear him limb from limb,
the dirty, rotten cheat.

331
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,250
I don't know what
I ever saw in her.

332
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:31,337
She ain't got no understanding.

333
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:35,966
She wouldn't know sympathy if it
hopped up and bit her on the backside.

334
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:41,055
[Man on TV] Your honor,
the prosecution objects

335
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,766
to these interruptions
by the defense.

336
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,436
They've had their chance to refute
the testimony of our expert witness,

337
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,232
and all theydid was to put
Dr. Sal tman on the stand.

338
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,027
Now, even he test/fied
tha t in his opinion,

339
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:58,280
the accused was sane when
he committed the murder.

340
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:03,369
So, in this summa tion, when I
demand the penal Ty of DEA th...

341
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,870
Phyllis!

342
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,206
I'll "Phyllis" you!

343
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,583
Phyllis!

344
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,627
[Static crackling]

345
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,963
What are you trying
to do, drive me bugs?

346
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,800
How can you stand
there listening to this?

347
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,386
[Ga ve/ bangs]

348
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:25,933
Joseph britt, you have been found
guilty by a jury of your peers.

349
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:30,479
It is the judgment of this court that
you be taken to the sing sing state prison,

350
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:34,900
and there be kept in
custody and put to death

351
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,570
in a manner provided by the law.

352
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:47,788
[Static]

353
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,918
How can you just stand there?

354
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:57,423
You mustbe bugs! What
you see is in your mind, Joe,

355
00:20:57,506 --> 00:21:00,468
and what you hear
is your conscience.

356
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,344
There, take a good look!

357
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,096
Turn it off.

358
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,016
Why? It's just another
program like wrestling.

359
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:10,686
Let's watch it together. I
haven't had a good laugh all day.

360
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,605
Get out of my way, Phyllis!

361
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:15,649
Ooh, I'm so frightened.
You scare me to death.

362
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,528
Oh, my, my, how rough you are.

363
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,989
Tell me what you see, Joe.

364
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:48,849
What did you see, Joe?
Lady wrestlers?

365
00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:56,315
What do you see, Joe?
A burlesque show?

366
00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:59,360
Fan dancers from yonkers?

367
00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,278
[Guffawing]

368
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,325
Yonkers? Fan dancers?

369
00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:09,036
Did you see them,
Joe? [Guffa wing]

370
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,081
Yonkers, yonkers, yonkers!

371
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,250
Fan dancers!

372
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:17,878
[Cackles]

373
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:19,797
Fan dance!

374
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,174
[Cackling]

375
00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:30,015
I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

376
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:35,020
[Cackling] Now turn
on the TV, Joe!

377
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:39,775
[Guffawing]

378
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:43,404
Give me... oh!

379
00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:46,949
You, you. Come on,
come on, give me that!

380
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:50,369
You-you... you call
yourself a wife?

381
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,371
[Screams]

382
00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:54,331
You dirty...

383
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:02,882
[Shrieking]

384
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:09,763
Get off of me!

385
00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:11,891
[Snarling]

386
00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:13,893
Well, you will, huh?

387
00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:18,564
Gonna kill me, are you?

388
00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,232
I'll kill you.

389
00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,986
[Screams]

390
00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:28,908
[Crying] Phyllis.

391
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:30,659
Phyllis!

392
00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:39,084
[Sobbing] What have I done?

393
00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:51,138
I didn't really mean it.

394
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:54,224
I killed her. I killed her.

395
00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:02,316
Oh. Fix your set okay, mister?

396
00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:06,528
You will recommend
my service, won't you?

397
00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:09,198
(Narrator) The next time
your TV set is on the blink,

398
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,784
when you're in the need
of a firs t-ra te repairman,

399
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:14,203
ma y we suggest
our own special/st?

400
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,997
Fa ctor y-tra ined, prompt,
honest, 24-hour service.

401
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:19,333
You won't find him
in the phone book,

402
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:23,003
but his office is con venientl
y I oca Ted in the twilight zone.

403
00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:29,802
(Male presenter)
And now, Mr. Serl/ng.

404
00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:32,888
Next on twilightzone,
we move into New Orleans

405
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:36,016
for the mardi gras, and
we do it with avengeance.

406
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:38,978
Robert Keith and Milton
selzer appear in a bizarre story

407
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:41,188
of men, masquerades and masks.

408
00:24:41,271 --> 00:24:43,816
This is a small shocker
to wind up a week,

409
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:46,151
and if it doesn't send
you to a psychiatrist,

410
00:24:46,193 --> 00:24:48,320
it'll send you
at least to a mirror.

411
00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:51,824
On twilightzone next, the masks.

412
00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:56,829
[Eerie music playing]