1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:02,461 [Eerie music] 2 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:10,260 (Narrator) You unlock this door with the k e y of ima Gina t/on. 3 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,513 Beyond it is another dimension... 4 00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:14,723 A dimension of sound, 5 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,850 a dimension of sight, 6 00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,936 a dimension of mind. 7 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,772 You're moving into a land of both shadowand substance, 8 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,732 of things and ideas. 9 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,818 You've just crossed over into the twilight zone. 10 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,742 (Male voice) Now, here is this prizef/ghter 11 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,286 who made this vow to this girl. 12 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:39,706 If this one ain't suref/re, I'll cut off both my hands. 13 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,917 I'll absolutely cut off both my hands. 14 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,294 You ready? Are you ready? 15 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:47,214 "Champion of the world," kirk Douglas, maybe. 16 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,966 Bu rt Lancaster. 17 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,968 You want to make him younger? 18 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,386 Tony Curtis. 19 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,971 I give you Tony Curtis. 20 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,430 I appreciate it. 21 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,516 So now he's champion of the world 22 00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,060 but he's made a promise to this girl never to fight again. 23 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,896 You know, like a vow. 24 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,856 Vow, Mr. Hugo. It's like a promise. 25 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,276 I mean, like solemn. 26 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,819 And now, comes the meat. 27 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,571 This is what grabs you right here. 28 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,173 He's got to fight, but he promised his girl. 29 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,324 And when he tells her, she's aghast. 30 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,451 This broad is palpitating. 31 00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:19,705 She calls the champ/on a f/I thy, rotten, dirty... 32 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,374 She's adamant, is that what you mean? 33 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:25,377 Oh, is this girl adamant. 34 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,088 She's adamant like nobody ever was adamant. 35 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,881 (Female voice) Mr. Hugo? 36 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,592 You're wanted on line one. 37 00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,010 Bless you. 38 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,469 Excuse me, Julius. 39 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,096 See, the beauty of this story 40 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:37,973 is you can couch it in so many terms. 41 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,766 Maybe he ain't a prizefighter. 42 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,727 Maybe he's a cowboy, a top gun, 43 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,746 and he promised his girl never to carry a gun again. 44 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,480 Maybe it's the girl's kid brother 45 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:49,693 who has this incurable disease. [Chuckles] 46 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,445 What's the matter? 47 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:52,779 That don't grip? 48 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,531 Why don't you go downstairs 49 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,284 and cross the street against a red light? 50 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,119 (H £190) B ye. 51 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,413 How about if it was a science fiction piece? 52 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,374 This rocket man makes a promise to his girl 53 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,376 never to go up in a spaceship again. 54 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,378 You've been here all morning. 55 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,838 I'll give you this. 56 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,214 I've been an agent for 23 years 57 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,383 and I have never heard 58 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,802 of so many variations of the same story. 59 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,679 Would you mind going home? 60 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:21,224 I've got a big deal cooking, it's very complicated. 61 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,810 A big deal! 62 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:27,397 You, you, you mean actually like a big deal? 63 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,358 Oh, you doll baby. 64 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,693 You absolute doll baby. 65 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,820 You were saving it for a surprise, weren't you? 66 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,906 That's what you were doing, 67 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,325 bet you made a sale, right, Mr. Hugo? 68 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,660 You made a sale. 69 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:42,746 Ah, the zombie story! 70 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,498 I should have known it. 71 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,667 The minute I wrote it, I knew it was surefire. 72 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,086 Absolute surefire. 73 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,380 It's a fantastic yarn, honey. 74 00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,943 It's about this dame who marries a guy 75 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,758 who walks on his heels all the time. 76 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,010 She thinks he's punchy, but it turns out he's dead. 77 00:02:57,052 --> 00:03:00,013 All the time they're married, she don't know he's dead. 78 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:03,850 Julius, let me put it to you this way: 79 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,269 The zombie story didn't sell. 80 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:11,608 The love story where the lady scientist falls in love with a robot? 81 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,193 That didn't sell. 82 00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:14,903 Your western where the president 83 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,863 of the union pacific railroad 84 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,783 turns out to be belle starr? 85 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,868 That didn't sell. 86 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,620 - Your idea of changing the mill/ona/re 87 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,288 - into the mul t/m/ll/ona ire 88 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,207 and making an hour show of it? 89 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,920 This they laughed me right out of the office with. 90 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,630 So I have to put it up to you. 91 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,425 I really simply have to put it up to you. 92 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:39,761 Why in the world do you persist? 93 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:41,138 Can you answer me? 94 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,973 Why do you persist? 95 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,809 Why don't you go back to doing what you did before? 96 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,145 A streetcar con ducto r? 97 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,646 Mr. Hugo, it's like progress. 98 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,481 There ain't no more streetcars. 99 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:54,317 Besides, I get travel sickness. 100 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,278 Let me put it to you this way: 101 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:59,656 Number one, you will never make a writer. 102 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:03,160 Number two, you'll starve to death if you try. 103 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,995 Number three, you're wasting your time, 104 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,248 my time, producers' time, everybody's time. 105 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,667 Phone Jerry bauscher at Paramount. 106 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,294 See when he's through there. 107 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,588 Tell him I've got a television series. 108 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:17,758 But that's my meat, a television series. 109 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,843 Mr. Hugo, don't you get it? 110 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,386 It's like a bolt from heaven. 111 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,346 I got so many television series ideas 112 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,765 I don't sleep nights. 113 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,266 I got television series ideas 114 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,185 what nobody never thought of. 115 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,728 Boy meets girl. 116 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,480 Every week, a different boy and girl. 117 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:32,689 Julius... 118 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:33,940 How about a quiz show? 119 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,026 "Pick your own embalmer." 120 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,611 The contestant, when he kicks off... 121 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,279 Julius, what do I have to do, 122 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:43,158 what do I have to say to get you out of here? 123 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,701 Give me a chance. 124 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,661 Give me first dibs at this, uh, 125 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:49,706 this-this television series thing or whatever it is. 126 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,292 Let me do the pilot, please. 127 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,837 Julius, my boy, sit down. 128 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,631 Julius, I'm not a hard man. 129 00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,716 I'm not a mean man. 130 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,804 But the television industry is looking for talent, for quality. 131 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,973 They're preoccupied with talent and quality. 132 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,059 And the writer is a major commodity. 133 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,478 Let me give it a try. 134 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,522 Let me give it a whirl. 135 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,732 I mean, let me walk it around the block 136 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:16,983 a couple of times. 137 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,152 What about this series? 138 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,238 Maybe it and me can go together. 139 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,114 Well, that's the point. 140 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,116 This particular series and you go together 141 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,078 like the black and tan at an Irish republican army picnic. 142 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,997 The series happens to be about black magic, 143 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,500 conjuring, that kind of thing. 144 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:35,043 Now... 145 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,379 What do you know about black magic? 146 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:40,674 (Laughing): Oh, ho... Oh, h0, h0, h0, h0, h0. 147 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,218 What do I know about it? 148 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,621 (Laughing): What do I know about black magic and conjuring? 149 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,056 Oh, come on. 150 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:52,435 I could research it. 151 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,188 Julius, would you leave me now? 152 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,690 Please. 153 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,109 Will you let me get back to my work? 154 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,611 Oh, let me have a try at this series, please. 155 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,446 Why can't I research it? 156 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:07,868 Look, Mr. Hugo, Mr. Hugo, my career is on the line. 157 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,370 Give me till next Wednesday. 158 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,038 Make it Tuesday? 159 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,623 Look, look, in a pinch, 160 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,208 I'll have something for you by Monday. 161 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,377 All right, all right, Julius. 162 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:21,131 Latch on to a couple of books, knock out a rough draft, 163 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,466 and let me have it by 4:00 Monday. 164 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,635 I'll submit it for you. 165 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:29,806 Why, I'll never know, but I'll submit it for you. 166 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,809 Oh, Mr. Hugo, you won't live to regret it. 167 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,771 And I mean it from the cockles of my heart. 168 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:39,649 You're probably dead right, Julius. 169 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:43,904 And I mean it from the cockles of my heart. 170 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:49,826 Thank you, thank you. 171 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,912 (Narrator) You've just w/ tnessed oppor tun/ Ty, 172 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,748 if not knock/n6, a t least scra tch/ng plaint/vel y 173 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,499 on a closed door. 174 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,085 Mr. Jul/us moomer, a would-be writer, 175 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,504 who, if talent came 25 cents a pound, 176 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,423 would be worth less than carfare. 177 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,258 But in a moment, Mr. Moomer, 178 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,636 through the offices of some black magic, 179 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:10,263 is about to embark on a brand-new career. 180 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,515 And although he may never get a writing credit 181 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,225 on the tw/I/ght zone, 182 00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:16,937 he's to become an integral character in it. 183 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,757 [Shop bell rings] 184 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,135 [Baseball game playing on radio] 185 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,513 (Male announcer) A slider tha t broke outs/de, one and one. 186 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,807 Now Tom haller jogs out to the mound to talk to sanford. 187 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,809 Tha t might've been a missed signal there. 188 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,811 Haller seemed to be looking for the fastball. 189 00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:00,105 The one and one pitch. [Bat connecting with ball] 190 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,857 Chacon sw/ngs and lifts an easyfl yball to center field. 191 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,402 Willie ma ys in and makes the basket ca tch. 192 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,862 Tha t brings up g/I Hodges, one down, bottom of the sixth. 193 00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,948 What do you think about him? 194 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,282 Who? 195 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,118 G/I Hodges, 196 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:15,495 can you explain how anybody in their right mind 197 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,122 could get rid of Gil Hodges? 198 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,374 Well, I, I suppose... 199 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:22,544 Suppose that's all in the point of view. 200 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,254 Precisel y. Absol utel y. 201 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,214 You've got a good mind, young man. 202 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,382 Extremely good mind. 203 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,300 Th-thank you. 204 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,011 It's the top of the sixth, 205 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,680 the giants are leading the mets, six to two. 206 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,683 Excuse me a minute. 207 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,768 [Radio is shutoff] 208 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,020 He's out. 209 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,396 Who? 210 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,856 Gil Hodges. 211 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,150 Now, uh, what will it be for you? 212 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:46,484 Well, um... 213 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,737 [Clears throat] 214 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,032 I'd like to see a keat. 215 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,575 [Laughing] 216 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,578 That's a man's name, not a thing. 217 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,748 And it's not a very uncommon name at that, keats. 218 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,208 There was a third baseman, came up from Newark 219 00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,918 played for the Yankees one year. 220 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,421 They used to call him beanball keats. 221 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,716 He held the American league record two seasons in a row 222 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,760 for getting beaned the most times. 223 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,762 [Laughs] Old beanball kea ts. 224 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,597 [Laughs nervously] 225 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,308 Well, you learn something new every day, don't you? 226 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,727 Did you ever hear of a pitcher named sla tter y? 227 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,353 String bean sla tter y? 228 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:23,897 Well, I, uh... 229 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,066 There was a beanball artist. 230 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:29,694 Um, he could hit a batter when he was still in the dugout. 231 00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,738 Asa matter of fact, he did one da y. 232 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,323 H/ta third base coach. 233 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,325 Now, where were we? 234 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,327 Well, I, I don't think 235 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,746 it makes too much difference. 236 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:42,749 You see, what I came in to ask about, uh... 237 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:45,043 Well, I wanted to know if, uh... 238 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:48,755 Well, what I have on my mind is, uh... 239 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,174 What do you got on black magic? 240 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,759 Black magic? 241 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,762 I'm Julius moomer from television. 242 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,306 Now, what is it you wanted? 243 00:09:58,389 --> 00:09:59,682 Black magic. 244 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,684 Books on black magic. 245 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,187 Oh, I'm afraid not. 246 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,107 I'm afraid tha t one El udes me. 247 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,274 [Thud] 248 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:31,214 Ye book of ye blackarte. 249 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,799 Hey, lady, 250 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,717 do that trick again. 251 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:38,096 This book and I have never been introduced. 252 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,848 We're total strangers. 253 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,933 Here, you want black magic? 254 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,518 You got black magic. 255 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,271 It's been a real pleasure meeting you. 256 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,982 A real pleasure. 257 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,942 You didn't happen to play third base 258 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,194 for the elmira pioneers one year, did you? 259 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,697 How much do I owe you for the book? 260 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,575 Oh, nothing, nothing, accept it as a gift. 261 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,494 You're a wonderful ball player and a credit to the sport. 262 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,663 It's been wonderful having this chat. 263 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,249 Va-va-voom. 264 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,667 Za-za-zoom. 265 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:50,793 Va-va-voom. 266 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,962 Ipsy-dipsy. 267 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,631 Va-va-voom. 268 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,976 (Driver) All right, buddy. 269 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,145 This is public transportation, 270 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,481 and there's rules about bugging the driver. 271 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:14,984 Who, me? 272 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,570 You! Out! 273 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,927 Ara-ga tum... 274 00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:44,013 Basil/tant-ee... 275 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:48,518 Roga-bottom-um... 276 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,645 Nordoff. 277 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,196 Hey, Julius, what's the bit? 278 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,781 What are you doing? 279 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,826 Ah, whatever I was doing, 280 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,786 I wasn't doing it right. 281 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,706 Ah. Black magic, black schmagic. 282 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,333 There's more here than meets the eyeballs. 283 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,628 I done everything it says and nothing. 284 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:18,464 Ye book of ye blackarte. 285 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:24,887 "Being a step-by-step education in conjuring." 286 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,807 So tell me, faust, to what end? 287 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,977 Cora, I am standing on the threshold. 288 00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:32,645 I-I mean, I'm ho vering. 289 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,647 One of these da ys 290 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,650 there's gonna be a big long limousine parked down below 291 00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:39,277 with two lizardy coachmen... 292 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,529 Liveried. 293 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,740 That's what I mean. 294 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,241 In uniform. 295 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,951 And they're gonna rap on your door 296 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,078 and invite you and your old lady downstairs 297 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,331 for a night on the town with their boss 298 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,500 that eminent, well-known, highly popular 299 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,711 beloved wurlitzer prize-winner... 300 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,921 Pulitzer. 301 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,715 That's the guy. 302 00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,717 Who you gonna find on the back seat 303 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,511 smoking a buck cigar? Hmm? 304 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,848 Modesty prohibits. 305 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,684 Just as a point of interest, Julius, 306 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,061 what are you doing? 307 00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:14,604 [Scoffing] 308 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,356 Don't you dig? 309 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:19,275 I'm conjuring, baby, I'm conjuring. 310 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,277 Conjuring who? 311 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,946 Who knows? I just read this here book 312 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,615 and I got me all the ingredients 313 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,033 or most of them, anyway. 314 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,868 Man. 315 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,788 "Four tufts of feathers from a falcon"... 316 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,082 I got 'em from a pigeon. 317 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,918 Uh... "Sand from Egypt"... 318 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:41,047 I still had some in my sneakers from Jones beach. 319 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,049 "Three legs of a spider"... 320 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,967 I found me an ant. 321 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:48,054 Well, anyway, that and with a few improvisations 322 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,139 I got me a spell working here. 323 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,183 When my mother finds out what you're doing, 324 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,310 you better conjure up the army and the Navy. 325 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,145 You're gonna need them. 326 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,398 Anyone ever tell you you were a dirty rotten kid? 327 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,525 Why don't you go take a cold shower? 328 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,443 Go ahead, get out of here. 329 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,404 I'll turn you into a frog! 330 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:11,327 Oh, I don't know exactly what's going to happen 331 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,579 but it better happen soon. 332 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,755 [Clears throat] 333 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:25,133 Za-za-zoom. 334 00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,468 Ala-kazam. 335 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:28,636 Va-va-voom! 336 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,852 Ah, what's the use? 337 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,858 [Sighing] 338 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,866 Oh, man. 339 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,536 What do they think I am, William Shakespeare? 340 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,405 Now, look, pal. 341 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,657 I, uh, I don't want you 342 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,284 to take this personal, but, uh, 343 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,911 like a guy should maybe knock 344 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,746 when he comes into a room, huh? 345 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,415 I mean, uh, some people ain't as with-it as me. 346 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:43,836 They take one look at you and they get a blast of a coronary. 347 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,505 They get all shook up. 348 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,882 Now, me, I can handle these things. 349 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:51,052 I mean, I'm with it. 350 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,911 Give me a stick, I'll beat it to death. 351 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:21,624 I await your pleasure. 352 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:25,419 Look, look, what do you want from me already? 353 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:28,923 Prithee, good sir, ask not what I want of thee 354 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,551 but what does thou ask of William Shakespeare. 355 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,804 Would you try that one again? 356 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,430 It appears I must speak 357 00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,891 in the parlance of the time... your time. 358 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,978 I simply said, good sir, it was you who conjured up me, 359 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,479 and I'm at your service. 360 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,940 What would you ask of me? 361 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,490 Look... 362 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,826 Level with me, pops, will you? 363 00:17:56,909 --> 00:18:02,957 You mean to say that you're the Shakespeare? 364 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,793 Man, you've been dead a thousand years. 365 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,670 It is true, of course. 366 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,798 But death is relative and need not be the end. 367 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,425 You required a service of me. 368 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:17,847 Hence, I am at your disposal. 369 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,433 "He speaks, yet he says nothing." 370 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,977 Romeo and jul/et, act two, scene two. 371 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:33,946 Quaint. 372 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,323 Decidedly quaint. 373 00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,283 A writing machine, perchance? 374 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,493 I presume that is the mission. 375 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:43,497 You would ask me to compose a sonnet, perchance, or a play? 376 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:45,666 You have but to ask, mister... 377 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:49,045 Moomer, is it? 378 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,838 You... 379 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,049 You mean... 380 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,969 You mean you could knock me out a couple of pieces? 381 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,388 Good sir, you have but to ask. 382 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:04,560 What nature of authorship would you require? 383 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,646 Well, um... 384 00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,731 How about if, uh... 385 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:13,027 How about if... 386 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,988 I'm going to waste William Shakespeare 387 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:19,992 on a lousy half-hour pilot? 388 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,661 I got me an idea, will. 389 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,162 You don't mind if I call you will? 390 00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,872 "What's in a name? 391 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,874 "That which we call a Rose by any other name 392 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,459 would smell as sweet." 393 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,378 Oh, man, what language. 394 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:32,505 Don't let nobody knock your stuff, will. 395 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:33,923 Man, you got potential. 396 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,342 You are loaded with potential. 397 00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:37,843 Here's what we're going to do. 398 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,179 You and me are going to collaborate. 399 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,390 What I mean is, you do the rough draft 400 00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,850 and I'll do the polishing. 401 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,936 Now, I'll tell you what. 402 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,730 We'll go slow at first, just till you get the feel of it, 403 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,191 and then, we'll do an hour film. 404 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,819 Something with, um, star attraction. 405 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,863 You know, like, uh... 406 00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,199 Ingrid bergman. 407 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,702 Ingrid bergman? 408 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:05,538 You never heard of Ingrid bergman? 409 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,206 Where you been, pal? 410 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,208 Never mind, don't tell me. 411 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:12,461 "A comely woman, I take it, one fairer than my love. 412 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,464 "The all-seeing sun ne'er saw her match 413 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,466 since first the world begun." 414 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,552 Solid, will, now that's the kind of stuff 415 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,345 that's going to win ball games. 416 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:22,972 You just start writing, 417 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,974 anything that comes to mind. 418 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,560 Uh, maybe a twist on the Romeo-Juliet thing. 419 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,312 Oh, swear not by the moon, 420 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,941 that crazy moon. 421 00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,193 Go ahead, bubbee, write. 422 00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:38,654 [Bell rings] 423 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,698 If you don't mind. 424 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:44,577 Mind? Will, baby, I don't care if you write with your feet. 425 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:47,413 Here, here, I'll move the typewriter for you. 426 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,290 Give you some ink. There we are. 427 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:50,916 Go ahead, will, you create. 428 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,502 I'll go make some coffee. 429 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,421 [Singing to himself excitedly] 430 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,264 Gilbert and Sullivan. 431 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,099 Lerner and loewe. 432 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,602 Ri msky an d ko rsakov. 433 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,479 Moomer and Shakespeare. 434 00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:22,114 What are they saying? 435 00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,116 I just asked you a question. 436 00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:25,826 What are they talking about? 437 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,870 What do I look like, a radar set? 438 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:31,123 I presume they're talking about your script. 439 00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:33,959 That's the point, honey, what's there to talk about? 440 00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:38,214 That stuff is poetry, it's, well, uh, it's... 441 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:42,301 It's shakespearean! 442 00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:43,928 Good afternoon. 443 00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,447 Is Mr. Bramhoff in there with Mr. Hugo? 444 00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:47,306 We're from the network. 445 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:52,728 They're expecting you, sir, go right in. 446 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,896 Yes? 447 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,314 Something? 448 00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:58,067 You got a light? 449 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,152 No, I don't got a light. 450 00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,488 Look, it just so happens that you don't know 451 00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:03,697 who you're talking to. 452 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,665 Bramhoff, the big-shot producer? 453 00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:14,667 Two guys from the network? 454 00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,168 Oh, man, I knew it was good, 455 00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:18,254 but I didn't know it was that good. 456 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,172 It's just something I knocked off 457 00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:21,507 in a couple of hours. 458 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,133 It's a shoo-in for the Emmy, 459 00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:25,177 but I didn't know it was that important. 460 00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:28,430 That's me, honey, I just don't know my own worth. 461 00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:32,184 Monday, I knock myself, Tuesday, I knock myself, 462 00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:33,727 Wednesday, I knock myself... 463 00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:35,813 Got any outside openings for Thursday? 464 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:37,523 I'd like to make an application. 465 00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:41,777 I don't know. 466 00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:44,071 That's our feeling too, Mr. Bramhoff. 467 00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:47,283 Sponsor-wise, the thing requires some noodling. 468 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:50,536 That is to say, we can't abruptly and perfunctorily 469 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:52,580 jump off the bridge with this one. 470 00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:55,040 I mean, let's be cerebral, boys. 471 00:22:55,082 --> 00:22:57,042 Well, I'll say this for it. 472 00:22:57,126 --> 00:22:59,712 It's a beautifully written thing. 473 00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:00,963 It's so archaic. 474 00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,549 I mean, language-wise. 475 00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:08,220 May I? 476 00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:10,055 [Clears throat] 477 00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:13,893 "As fresh as a bridegroom, and his chin, new-reaped, 478 00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:17,605 "showed like a stubble land at harvest home. 479 00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:19,648 "He was perfumed likea milliner 480 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:22,401 "and 'twixt his finger and his thumb 481 00:23:22,443 --> 00:23:24,653 "he held a pouncet box 482 00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:28,741 and ever anon, gave it to his nose." 483 00:23:28,782 --> 00:23:32,745 And, uh, "took't a wa ya gain." 484 00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:36,624 Well, you've got say this for it: It has imagery. 485 00:23:36,707 --> 00:23:39,585 Imagery it has. 486 00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:40,753 May I? 487 00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:42,129 Oh, please. 488 00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:50,429 "And if the boy have not a woman's gift 489 00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:53,307 "to rain a shower of commanded tears 490 00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:57,686 an onion will do well for such a shift." 491 00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:58,771 Onion? 492 00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:00,105 Sponsor conflict. 493 00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:01,357 Concur. 494 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:02,942 Could we make it a... 495 00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:04,610 Turnip? 496 00:24:04,652 --> 00:24:05,986 Solid thinking. 497 00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:07,613 Turn/p. 498 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,323 Very soc/able. 499 00:24:09,406 --> 00:24:11,367 Everybody knows about turnips. 500 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,786 You say turnip to the lady in dubuque 501 00:24:13,827 --> 00:24:15,371 she's with you. 502 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:18,457 I like it. 503 00:24:18,540 --> 00:24:20,668 We could call the writer in now. 504 00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:22,378 A tremendous talent. 505 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:23,712 A prodigy of mine. 506 00:24:23,796 --> 00:24:25,673 What are his credits? 507 00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:27,633 He was a streetcar conductor. 508 00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,468 But a tremendous observer 509 00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:31,011 of the passing scene. 510 00:24:31,095 --> 00:24:33,347 An incredible judge of human beings. 511 00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:35,307 You can see that in every line. 512 00:24:35,391 --> 00:24:39,687 A modern-day chronicler of human foibles. 513 00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,480 Solid. 514 00:24:41,522 --> 00:24:43,482 Oh, excuse me. 515 00:24:43,524 --> 00:24:44,817 [Buzzer] 516 00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:50,531 (Agent) Send /n Mr. Moo... 517 00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:51,907 How are you, Mr. Hugo? 518 00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:53,909 Wonderful. How are you? 519 00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:56,245 You look fine. It's good to see you. 520 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:57,997 How are you, gentlemen? 521 00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,123 [Chuckles] 522 00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:04,378 Huh? Huh? 523 00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:06,005 Like literature, huh? 524 00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:07,756 It shows some promise. 525 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,758 Mr. Dolan here represents 526 00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:12,761 the sponsor of Shannon spectaculars. 527 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:14,763 The Shannon food corporation. 528 00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:17,516 You've no doubt eaten their products. 529 00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:19,101 Endlessly. 530 00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:20,853 He's a Shannon booster from way back. 531 00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:22,771 Man, like that's the truth. 532 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,399 That Shannon onion soup... this I dig. 533 00:25:25,482 --> 00:25:27,026 We don't make onion soup. 534 00:25:27,109 --> 00:25:28,861 That's French in origin. 535 00:25:28,902 --> 00:25:30,446 We're an American firm. 536 00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,865 Red, white and blue right down the line. 537 00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:34,908 Man, I am glad you said that. 538 00:25:34,992 --> 00:25:37,411 I always say, if it's good enough for the lady in dubuque 539 00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:39,121 it's good enough for Julius. 540 00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:44,626 Well, let's get down to some business here. 541 00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:46,045 The trag/c cycle. 542 00:25:46,128 --> 00:25:52,718 Written by... Julius moomer. 543 00:25:52,801 --> 00:25:54,303 Yours truly. 544 00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:57,556 Read for you now by... 545 00:25:57,598 --> 00:26:00,726 Yours truly. 546 00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:04,730 [Clears throat] 547 00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:07,733 "Act one, scene one. 548 00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:11,904 The camera fades on with a shot of a garden." 549 00:26:16,784 --> 00:26:21,080 (Male presenter) Twilight zone will continue after sta t/on ident/f/ca t/on. 550 00:26:35,844 --> 00:26:39,139 Well, the whole thing about writing, 551 00:26:39,223 --> 00:26:41,600 the whole bit is simpl y tha t you, uh, 552 00:26:41,642 --> 00:26:43,977 shouldn't get d/scoura ged. 553 00:26:44,061 --> 00:26:46,355 You gotta sta yin there and keep punch/ng. 554 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:48,774 All the time punch/ng. 555 00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:51,485 As keats once sa/d to the Paris edit/on 556 00:26:51,568 --> 00:26:54,613 of the New York herald tribune, keats said, 557 00:26:54,655 --> 00:26:57,324 "keep punch/ng." 558 00:26:57,407 --> 00:27:01,120 Ladies and gentlemen, this is celebrity interviews. 559 00:27:01,161 --> 00:27:03,497 Our guest tonight, Mr. Jul/us moomer, 560 00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:05,541 tha t r/s/ng young television author 561 00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:08,085 whose drama product/on the tragic cycle 562 00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:11,505 will be seen next week on the Shannon classic playhouse. 563 00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:13,215 Now, a viewing reminder. 564 00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:15,300 Each week on celebrity interviews 565 00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:17,427 we bring you the personal/ties of show business 566 00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:19,680 who make the headlines and the stories. 567 00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:22,224 Pla ywr/ghts, actors, actresses... 568 00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:25,477 All the living legends of show business as it is toda y. 569 00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:27,312 How about that, will? 570 00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:31,942 Verily, a most impressive performance. 571 00:27:32,025 --> 00:27:34,444 Ain't that the truth? 572 00:27:34,528 --> 00:27:36,738 This last quest/on now, Mr. Moomer, 573 00:27:36,822 --> 00:27:40,200 I'm told that you've been writing for some period of time. 574 00:27:40,284 --> 00:27:42,035 Asa matter of fact, 575 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,037 I think it was your agent, Mr. Hugo, 576 00:27:44,121 --> 00:27:46,748 who sho wed me some of your earlier ma terial. 577 00:27:46,832 --> 00:27:50,586 You've comea long way, Mr. Moomer. 578 00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:55,215 Well, it's like progress. 579 00:27:55,299 --> 00:28:00,679 For example, one of the things I looked at was a zombie story. 580 00:28:00,762 --> 00:28:02,264 Now, howabout that? 581 00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:03,974 Tha t grabbed, didn't it? 582 00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:05,934 Course, it was a bit contro vers/al, 583 00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:08,020 and tha t's why it didn't get on the air, 584 00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:11,356 but/al wa ys did try to tackle controversial stuff. 585 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,650 I mean, ugl ybutchers and dog dames, 586 00:28:13,734 --> 00:28:17,404 tha t's all right for cha yefsky, but moomer asp/res. 587 00:28:17,487 --> 00:28:20,324 What I mean is, moomer al wa ys thought tall. 588 00:28:20,407 --> 00:28:24,369 There was another story you wrote, Mr. Moomer. 589 00:28:24,453 --> 00:28:26,330 I seem to recollect 590 00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:29,082 tha t it was a suggested series. 591 00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:31,293 A kind of situation comedy 592 00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:34,171 in vol ving a mul tim/llionaire. 593 00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:36,089 Just pla/n j. P. 594 00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:39,259 The whole thing there was 595 00:28:39,343 --> 00:28:41,094 we're al wa ys seeing stuff 596 00:28:41,178 --> 00:28:43,347 about typical husbands and wives and kids. 597 00:28:43,430 --> 00:28:46,266 Whynot g/vea nod to the the big shots? 598 00:28:46,350 --> 00:28:50,062 I mean, what? t they call the "rubber barons," like tha t? 599 00:28:50,145 --> 00:28:51,897 I mean, just because you're heeled, 600 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:54,441 tha t don't make you unhuman. 601 00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:57,027 Hmm... I ma y try to recons titute tha t one. 602 00:28:57,110 --> 00:29:00,113 (Julius over TV) Just pla/n j.P... 603 00:29:00,197 --> 00:29:02,199 The story tha t asks the quest/on 604 00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:04,910 "cana man who makes $9 milliona year 605 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:07,579 find happiness ina small mansion?" 606 00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:10,249 But you gotta remember one thing. 607 00:29:10,332 --> 00:29:13,252 In order to bea writer, you gotta suffer. 608 00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:15,420 I mean, I still remember those... 609 00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:18,006 Those cold nights In tha t dark a tt/c, 610 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:21,093 with hardl yenough strength to pusha key. 611 00:29:21,176 --> 00:29:24,846 And all the time, a small voice inside me kept sa ying, 612 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:28,350 "go, jul/us, go." 613 00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:32,020 So / went. 614 00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:35,190 Inspiring, Mr. Moomer, trul y inspiring. 615 00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:37,025 Ladies and gentl emen, 616 00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:39,486 you've been listening to Mr. Julius moomer. 617 00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:45,367 That kind of got me. 618 00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:47,119 Like here. 619 00:29:47,202 --> 00:29:51,290 I, too, felt a twinge of a sort. 620 00:29:51,373 --> 00:29:53,583 I believe I finished this last sequence. 621 00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:56,128 Oh, good, good, good. 622 00:29:56,211 --> 00:29:57,546 Ah, uh-huh, uh-huh. 623 00:29:57,629 --> 00:30:00,549 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 624 00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:02,009 Oh, will, bubbee, 625 00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:03,760 you got such a thing with words. 626 00:30:03,844 --> 00:30:05,679 It comes from working in an attic, Mr. Moomer. 627 00:30:05,762 --> 00:30:08,015 A little voice deep inside prods me 628 00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:11,351 and keeps saying, "go, William, go." 629 00:30:11,435 --> 00:30:12,352 Hmm? Oh? 630 00:30:12,436 --> 00:30:13,729 [Cackles] 631 00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:16,523 Oh, great, great, only great. 632 00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:18,191 [Sigh of exhilaration] 633 00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:20,527 The Shannon food corporation presents... 634 00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,946 [Toots like a trumpet] 635 00:30:23,030 --> 00:30:27,367 The tragic cycle, written by Julius moomer. 636 00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:29,953 [More fanfare] 637 00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:33,165 From an original story by Julius moomer 638 00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:38,670 with additional dialog by... Julius moomer. 639 00:30:38,754 --> 00:30:42,215 [Humming an orchestral introduction] 640 00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:51,975 Man. 641 00:30:52,059 --> 00:30:54,269 It's a good thing I'm modest, will. 642 00:30:54,353 --> 00:30:58,231 You know, a thing like this could go to a guy's head. 643 00:30:58,315 --> 00:31:01,818 They're already talking to me about 21/2-hour specs, 644 00:31:01,902 --> 00:31:04,863 movie contracts, maybe a Broadway musical. 645 00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:06,406 Fl a scub-a-dub-a doo fl 646 00:31:06,490 --> 00:31:08,033 fl I love you fl 647 00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:11,745 fl put me on the stage, I'll be a rage fl 648 00:31:11,828 --> 00:31:15,248 fl scub-a-dub-a doo, a scub-a-dub-a doo fl 649 00:31:15,332 --> 00:31:18,293 fl Julius moomer will play for you fl 650 00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:24,424 fl racky sack, I'm flush. Fl 651 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:27,427 what's the matter, will? You don't look good. 652 00:31:27,511 --> 00:31:28,970 "Like a strutting player 653 00:31:29,054 --> 00:31:30,931 whose conceit lies in his hamstring." 654 00:31:31,014 --> 00:31:33,433 Tro/I us and cress/da, act one, scene three. 655 00:31:33,517 --> 00:31:35,435 In short, Mr. Moomer, 656 00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:37,455 you have not been prone to extend credit where it's due. 657 00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:38,897 At no time, for example, 658 00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,982 have I heard the name Shakespeare, 659 00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:43,568 or any suggestion of collaboration. 660 00:31:43,652 --> 00:31:45,445 Now wait a minute, wait a minute. 661 00:31:45,529 --> 00:31:47,572 Will, baby, look, we got to play this one by ear. 662 00:31:47,656 --> 00:31:49,574 How's it gonna look if I tell them 663 00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:51,952 a guy named William Shakespeare helped me to write this? 664 00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:54,371 They'd stick me in a rubber room in a jacket. 665 00:31:54,454 --> 00:31:56,915 That as it may be, the point is, Mr. Moomer, 666 00:31:56,998 --> 00:31:58,166 I finished my task. 667 00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,543 I will now take my leave. 668 00:31:59,626 --> 00:32:00,919 Take your Lea ve?! 669 00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:02,546 Are you out of your mind? 670 00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:04,965 Why, this whole thing's coming up velvet! 671 00:32:05,048 --> 00:32:06,967 We're riding on the gravy train. 672 00:32:07,050 --> 00:32:09,845 You wanna creep back into some crypt and get forgotten? 673 00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:12,180 Listen, man, you're making the scene big now. 674 00:32:12,264 --> 00:32:14,015 Everybody's always talking 675 00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:16,309 about how my stuff sounds like Shakespeare's. 676 00:32:16,393 --> 00:32:19,396 Will, bubbee, I'm gonna make you a household word again. 677 00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:21,481 With all due modesty, sir, 678 00:32:21,565 --> 00:32:24,484 the name of William Shakespeare has survived the test of time 679 00:32:24,568 --> 00:32:26,486 without the support of Julius moomer. 680 00:32:26,570 --> 00:32:27,863 You don't dig. 681 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:30,323 Fame flits. 682 00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:33,034 I mean, who remembers yesterday's champions? 683 00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:35,078 Sure, Ruth hit 60 home runs, 684 00:32:35,162 --> 00:32:37,664 but it's Roger maris they're always asking for autographs. 685 00:32:37,747 --> 00:32:39,875 And nijinsky was a pretty good dancer. 686 00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:42,377 But who remembers her last movie? 687 00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:44,379 And will Shakespeare did some writing 688 00:32:44,463 --> 00:32:46,548 but out of sight, out of mind. 689 00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:50,552 Shakespeare is dead, long live Mickey spillane! 690 00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:52,137 Look, look, will, baby, 691 00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:53,680 will, baby, come here. 692 00:32:53,763 --> 00:32:56,057 Look, you can't desert the ship now. 693 00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:58,185 I mean, what are people going to say? 694 00:32:58,268 --> 00:33:01,313 That fink Shakespeare got no gratitude. 695 00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:02,981 We can do it, baby, we can do it. 696 00:33:03,064 --> 00:33:05,734 Look, we got a hundred projects we can do. 697 00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:08,069 We'll go to Hollywood, California. 698 00:33:08,153 --> 00:33:11,698 Babes out there are crazy about guys with beards. 699 00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:13,492 I shall ponder it, Mr. Moomer. 700 00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:14,910 Until when? 701 00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:16,536 Until the morrow. 702 00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:18,205 Since you have not seen fit 703 00:33:18,288 --> 00:33:20,081 to invite me to the rehearsals of our play, 704 00:33:20,165 --> 00:33:21,708 tomorrow I shall do precisely that. 705 00:33:21,791 --> 00:33:23,752 I shall survey the actors performing, 706 00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:26,004 and if justice is done to what I have wrought 707 00:33:26,087 --> 00:33:27,923 perhaps I may remain for a time longer 708 00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:30,926 and write other things. 709 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,511 Now you're talking, will! 710 00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:34,513 Now you're talking! 711 00:33:34,596 --> 00:33:37,682 I think I will take a walk now. 712 00:33:37,766 --> 00:33:41,436 "I am that merry wanderer of the night." 713 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:47,609 A m/dsummer n/ght's dream, act two, scene one. 714 00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,611 "To be, or not to be," 715 00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:51,363 Mr. Moomer, "that..." 716 00:34:08,713 --> 00:34:11,633 Go to the rehearsal? 717 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:14,636 How could he go to the rehearsal? 718 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:18,306 Will! Will! 719 00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:20,058 Will, don't rock the boat! 720 00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:27,732 (Male voice) All right, everybody. 721 00:34:27,774 --> 00:34:29,568 Give me your attention, please. 722 00:34:29,609 --> 00:34:31,087 We can walk through this one with scripts, 723 00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:33,822 but I'd count it a personal favor 724 00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:35,258 if we could get these lines learned 725 00:34:35,282 --> 00:34:37,242 by Thursday at the latest. 726 00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:38,994 I hate to throw complicated stage action 727 00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:40,453 at you now at this point, 728 00:34:40,537 --> 00:34:42,038 but you'll note that in this act, 729 00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:43,832 we've got a real problem of movement. 730 00:34:43,915 --> 00:34:45,917 I want to take most of this stuff in close shots 731 00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:49,462 and some very rapid, sporadic cutting back and forth. 732 00:34:49,546 --> 00:34:51,464 I think it'll heighten the piece tremendously. 733 00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:54,509 Mr. Shannon, we feel ourselves extremely fortunate 734 00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:57,429 to secure the services of rocky rhodes. 735 00:34:57,512 --> 00:34:59,306 Rhodes, schmodes. I sell soup. 736 00:34:59,389 --> 00:35:01,182 I don't nothing about actors. 737 00:35:01,266 --> 00:35:03,351 Which one is rhodes? 738 00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:09,149 He's the attractive one in the sweatshirt. 739 00:35:09,232 --> 00:35:12,652 That's an actor? 740 00:35:12,736 --> 00:35:15,989 Well, he was brilliant in streetcar named desire. 741 00:35:16,072 --> 00:35:17,574 Streetcar named des/re? 742 00:35:17,657 --> 00:35:19,743 What was he, a conductor? 743 00:35:19,826 --> 00:35:22,370 (Director) All right, people, we'll pick it up now. 744 00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:27,125 Scene two, act two. Uh, fel/c/a... 745 00:35:27,167 --> 00:35:29,502 Now, remember, Felicia, at this moment 746 00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:32,464 life and death is waiting for you out in that hallway. 747 00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:33,798 This is unequivocal. 748 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,509 It is life or it is death. 749 00:35:36,593 --> 00:35:38,136 When rocky comes through that door... 750 00:35:38,178 --> 00:35:40,680 [In Brando-like drawl] Uh... 751 00:35:40,764 --> 00:35:43,516 Charlie... 752 00:35:46,061 --> 00:35:47,062 Question. 753 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:48,647 Question, rocky? 754 00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:50,482 Yeah, I mean, what is my, uh, 755 00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:52,400 tertiary motivation here? 756 00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:56,196 I mean, like, I walk through the door and, uh... 757 00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:57,989 I see her. 758 00:35:58,031 --> 00:35:59,741 Why? 759 00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,993 Why what, rocky? What's the question? 760 00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:03,411 Exactly. 761 00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:05,080 What is the question? 762 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,666 I mean, any slob can walk through a door. 763 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:09,501 Like, I do it every day. 764 00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:11,503 But, well, now 765 00:36:11,586 --> 00:36:13,672 maybe I shouldn't walk through the door 766 00:36:13,713 --> 00:36:15,215 at that moment. 767 00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:17,425 So / got to ask myself: 768 00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:19,928 Would / walk through that door? 769 00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:24,599 It's on the basis of that answer that I find my motivation. 770 00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:26,101 So the question is 771 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,395 what's my motivation? 772 00:36:31,773 --> 00:36:33,191 Well, rocky, baby, 773 00:36:33,274 --> 00:36:34,776 why don't we just run through it 774 00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,528 and see how it plays, shall we do that? 775 00:36:36,611 --> 00:36:38,196 Let's take our places now. 776 00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:39,698 Scene two of act two. 777 00:36:39,781 --> 00:36:40,990 Right from the top. 778 00:36:41,074 --> 00:36:42,909 [Actor, mooing] Mmm, mmm. 779 00:36:42,992 --> 00:36:44,119 Mm-mm. 780 00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:47,872 [Snorting] 781 00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:50,917 Mm-mm. 782 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:55,714 All right, let's go. 783 00:36:55,755 --> 00:36:57,882 I don't care what you say. 784 00:36:57,924 --> 00:36:59,884 If Jeremy comes here tonight 785 00:36:59,926 --> 00:37:01,886 I have to go away with him. 786 00:37:01,970 --> 00:37:03,346 Oh, come, Olivia. 787 00:37:03,430 --> 00:37:05,098 Cast out those benighted colors 788 00:37:05,181 --> 00:37:09,060 and-and gaze as a friend on greenwich village. 789 00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:11,396 Let not forever with your veiled eyes 790 00:37:11,438 --> 00:37:14,232 seek your noble boyfriend in the dust. 791 00:37:14,274 --> 00:37:15,734 It is common, I know. 792 00:37:15,817 --> 00:37:18,820 But all that live must die. 793 00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:21,322 It's easy for you to say. 794 00:37:21,406 --> 00:37:23,074 Quite easy. 795 00:37:23,116 --> 00:37:25,118 But outside there, 796 00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:26,828 outs/de this room, 797 00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:28,955 outs/de this building 798 00:37:29,038 --> 00:37:33,001 is the harbinger of the worst of fates. 799 00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:35,003 Is it Jeremy? 800 00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:37,505 Or is it his killer? 801 00:37:37,589 --> 00:37:41,134 Am I to be a correspondent of love... 802 00:37:41,217 --> 00:37:43,595 Or a recipient of hate? 803 00:37:43,636 --> 00:37:45,472 This is the quest/on. 804 00:37:45,555 --> 00:37:46,973 Who awaits me out there? 805 00:37:47,056 --> 00:37:48,808 I ask you that. 806 00:37:48,892 --> 00:37:49,976 Who awaits me? 807 00:38:06,868 --> 00:38:08,703 I'm looking for Mr. Moomer. 808 00:38:08,787 --> 00:38:11,539 Moomer? 809 00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:13,625 Jul/us moomer. 810 00:38:13,666 --> 00:38:15,794 Oh, yeah, the writer. 811 00:38:15,877 --> 00:38:17,637 He's sitting over there with a bunch of guys. 812 00:38:17,670 --> 00:38:20,840 Thank you so much. 813 00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:23,468 And your role? 814 00:38:23,510 --> 00:38:25,804 My role is, uh... Jeremy. 815 00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:26,888 What's yours? 816 00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:28,556 Jeremy. 817 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,225 But Jeremy is a lad of 19, 818 00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:31,684 fresh as a bridegroom. 819 00:38:31,768 --> 00:38:33,686 And his chin, new-reaped 820 00:38:33,770 --> 00:38:36,231 showed like a stubble land atharvest home. 821 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:39,067 Yeah, well, we changed all that. 822 00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:43,988 A guy that feels love ain't no 19 years old. 823 00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:45,573 The guy who plays Jeremy 824 00:38:45,657 --> 00:38:47,367 has got to know what it's all about. 825 00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:50,745 A mature guy, uh... Who knows the score. 826 00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:53,998 A guy with some 'zazz, with some moxie. 827 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,001 A guy who understands, uh, tertiary motivation. 828 00:38:57,085 --> 00:38:58,878 (Director) Let's go, team, sha I I we? 829 00:38:58,962 --> 00:39:00,296 May we continue, please? 830 00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:01,524 Get ready for your cue, rocky. 831 00:39:01,548 --> 00:39:03,341 Rhodes is my name. 832 00:39:03,424 --> 00:39:05,260 Rocky rhodes. 833 00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:08,930 You probably saw me in cat ona hot t/n roof. 834 00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:12,267 Cat ona hot t/n roof? 835 00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:14,686 And what, perchance, would that be? 836 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,896 It would be a play, Charlie. 837 00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:19,023 A real play. 838 00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:20,859 What are you, a Tennessee knocker? 839 00:39:20,942 --> 00:39:22,944 Rocky, let's go! 840 00:39:23,027 --> 00:39:27,031 It's getting so they let any uncultured uncouth ham in here. 841 00:39:30,076 --> 00:39:32,537 (Actress) Go ahead, Seymour. 842 00:39:32,620 --> 00:39:34,539 Speak the speech, I pra y you 843 00:39:34,622 --> 00:39:37,917 as / pronounced it to you tr/pp/ngl y on the tongue. 844 00:39:38,001 --> 00:39:40,128 (Actor) Shall I sa y it again, Esmeralda? 845 00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:42,380 How's it look to you, Mr. Shannon? 846 00:39:42,422 --> 00:39:44,299 Only great, isn't it? 847 00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:46,050 The play? 848 00:39:46,134 --> 00:39:48,219 Who knows about plays? 849 00:39:48,261 --> 00:39:51,639 What about the commercial, where does that come in? 850 00:39:51,723 --> 00:39:54,559 R-Right after the opening teaser, Mr. Shannon. 851 00:39:54,642 --> 00:39:56,394 Are they lighting the soup? 852 00:39:56,477 --> 00:39:58,563 That comes in the first commercial, Mr. Shannon. 853 00:39:58,605 --> 00:40:00,148 I know when it comes in. 854 00:40:00,231 --> 00:40:02,567 I want to make sure they light the label! 855 00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:04,444 When the soup is Shannon's 856 00:40:04,527 --> 00:40:06,821 I want 40 million people should know it's Shannon's. 857 00:40:15,538 --> 00:40:17,165 Well, what is it? 858 00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:18,625 What's he dressed up for? 859 00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:21,669 U-Uh, that? 860 00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:26,674 T-That's my typist. 861 00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:28,760 One of your staff, moomer, is he? 862 00:40:28,801 --> 00:40:31,763 Well, actually, he's a relative. 863 00:40:31,804 --> 00:40:33,848 Cousin on my mother's side. 864 00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:35,975 He's a little eccentric. 865 00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:37,769 Eccentric? 866 00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:40,313 Well, he has, like, you know, delusions. 867 00:40:40,396 --> 00:40:42,273 One week they come, one week they go. 868 00:40:42,315 --> 00:40:44,067 What about this week? 869 00:40:44,150 --> 00:40:47,654 Um, well, this week, he, uh... 870 00:40:47,737 --> 00:40:53,242 He thinks he's William Shakespeare. 871 00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:54,619 Come on over, will, 872 00:40:54,702 --> 00:40:56,621 iwant you to meet the boys. 873 00:40:56,704 --> 00:40:58,831 Been telling them all about you. 874 00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:07,256 Most impressive. 875 00:41:07,340 --> 00:41:08,716 Would that we had 876 00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,635 this kind of space at the globe. 877 00:41:10,677 --> 00:41:11,803 The globe? 878 00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:13,638 Uh, uh, why don't you 879 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,473 sit down, will, here? 880 00:41:15,515 --> 00:41:17,016 Have this seat here. 881 00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:19,352 We're, uh, just going over 882 00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:20,478 the second act. 883 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:21,813 Act two. 884 00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:23,272 Ah, yes, the balcony scene. 885 00:41:23,356 --> 00:41:25,066 A most delightful love sequence. 886 00:41:25,149 --> 00:41:26,776 Love sequence, and on a balcony, yet. 887 00:41:26,859 --> 00:41:28,736 I was gonna mention this to you, will, 888 00:41:28,820 --> 00:41:31,197 but Mr. Shannon asked us to make a little change 889 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,532 in the love story part. 890 00:41:32,615 --> 00:41:34,158 Oh? 891 00:41:34,242 --> 00:41:36,619 You know, the business on the balcony? 892 00:41:36,703 --> 00:41:38,329 A thing of beauty. 893 00:41:38,413 --> 00:41:40,373 "Oh, spirit of love 894 00:41:40,456 --> 00:41:43,334 how quick and fresh art thou." 895 00:41:43,418 --> 00:41:45,503 A red-blooded American boy and girl 896 00:41:45,545 --> 00:41:47,797 going gigging around on balconies! 897 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,799 Who owns balconies these days? 898 00:41:49,882 --> 00:41:51,801 Extremely valid point, Mr. Shannon. 899 00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:53,261 No question about it. 900 00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:56,264 You mean, no balcony? 901 00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:59,767 Mm, uh, no balcony. 902 00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:01,561 You see, will, this here is television, 903 00:42:01,644 --> 00:42:03,396 and you gotta grab the audience 904 00:42:03,479 --> 00:42:05,399 right where they live, and you gotta do it quick. 905 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,400 That's why we're making this little alteration 906 00:42:07,483 --> 00:42:09,277 on the balcony thing. 907 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,046 Instead of the boy climbing up the shrubbery 908 00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:12,989 to kiss the girl, he, uh... uh, uh... 909 00:42:13,072 --> 00:42:15,408 Meets her in a subway station. 910 00:42:15,491 --> 00:42:16,784 A subway station?! 911 00:42:16,868 --> 00:42:18,578 That's a bit. That's a bit. 912 00:42:18,661 --> 00:42:20,431 See, she sprains her ankle, and this boy here, 913 00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:22,206 he's kind of a Dr. Kildare, Dr. Casey type, 914 00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:24,208 and he operates on her ankle right there 915 00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:26,586 between the Brighton express and the Bronx local. 916 00:42:26,669 --> 00:42:29,464 You, uh, you see, will, 917 00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:33,968 doctor stories are very big this season. 918 00:42:34,052 --> 00:42:36,554 All right, cast, we'll take a short break now. 919 00:42:36,596 --> 00:42:39,223 (Director) I want you to run over tha t last scene for lines. 920 00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:48,941 Mr. Moomer, Mr. Moomer, 921 00:42:49,025 --> 00:42:50,943 something has to be done. 922 00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:52,361 Troubles, will? 923 00:42:52,445 --> 00:42:55,156 Troubles? Is that Esmeralda? 924 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,658 Yeah. Yeah, tha t's the chick. 925 00:42:57,742 --> 00:42:59,744 Well, if what you told me is the case, 926 00:42:59,827 --> 00:43:01,454 what reason for her suicide? 927 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:03,414 What is to motivate her long soliloquy 928 00:43:03,456 --> 00:43:04,749 about love's labor lost? 929 00:43:04,832 --> 00:43:06,000 Suicide? 930 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:07,835 What's with this suicide? 931 00:43:07,919 --> 00:43:09,796 Oh, no suicide, Mr. Shannon. 932 00:43:09,879 --> 00:43:11,589 That's definitely out. 933 00:43:11,672 --> 00:43:13,883 I was gonna mention that to you, will. 934 00:43:13,966 --> 00:43:16,385 You see, we can't live with the suicide. 935 00:43:16,469 --> 00:43:18,596 She don't stick herself with a shiv. 936 00:43:18,679 --> 00:43:21,182 Instead she runs away with this bass Fiddler 937 00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:23,184 from Artie Shaw's gramercy five. 938 00:43:23,267 --> 00:43:25,186 That was my wife's suggestion. 939 00:43:25,269 --> 00:43:27,063 An inspired one, at that. 940 00:43:27,146 --> 00:43:29,774 And the brother and father who burst into the scene? 941 00:43:29,857 --> 00:43:32,276 My wife didn't like that. 942 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,112 She didn't like the idea of 943 00:43:34,195 --> 00:43:35,947 the father and the brother, will, 944 00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:37,698 so the way we play it now 945 00:43:37,782 --> 00:43:40,159 the two guys coming into the room are policemen. 946 00:43:45,581 --> 00:43:46,666 Policemen? 947 00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:49,335 Cops, cops. 948 00:43:49,418 --> 00:43:50,920 And in the scene later on, 949 00:43:51,003 --> 00:43:52,356 where the mother does all the talking 950 00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:54,048 about the blood on our hands, 951 00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:56,968 well, she's not the mother no more, exactly. 952 00:43:57,051 --> 00:43:58,678 She's the gardener's wife 953 00:43:58,761 --> 00:44:00,513 who did time for embezzlement. 954 00:44:00,596 --> 00:44:03,474 But she has the most definitive line of the play. 955 00:44:03,558 --> 00:44:06,060 In the epilogue I took it from twelfth night: 956 00:44:06,144 --> 00:44:07,478 "If music 957 00:44:07,562 --> 00:44:09,147 "be the food of love, play on. 958 00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:11,566 "Give me excess of it, that surfeiting 959 00:44:11,649 --> 00:44:15,069 the appetite may sicken and so die." 960 00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:17,405 Oh, fine, fine, fine. 961 00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:18,823 Appetite sickening. 962 00:44:18,906 --> 00:44:20,408 This is just fine. 963 00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:21,826 The Shannon food company 964 00:44:21,868 --> 00:44:23,327 is paying this kind of money 965 00:44:23,369 --> 00:44:25,413 to make people sick? 966 00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:29,709 Uh, will, you'd better get with it. 967 00:44:29,792 --> 00:44:32,253 You're taking the butter right off the toast, baby. 968 00:44:32,336 --> 00:44:34,088 All right, here we go. 969 00:44:34,172 --> 00:44:37,925 Let's hear the narration aloud please, for timing. 970 00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:40,261 On October 30, the gardener's wife 971 00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:42,263 returned to the crime scene. 972 00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:44,265 The police had already arrived, 973 00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:45,933 and, once again, the f.B.I... 974 00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:47,685 Enough of that idiocy... 975 00:44:47,727 --> 00:44:49,437 There's no soliloquy here! 976 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:50,855 What's going on here? 977 00:44:50,897 --> 00:44:52,440 Who is that guy? 978 00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:53,816 I'll tell you what he ain't. 979 00:44:53,900 --> 00:44:55,651 He ain't no student of drama. 980 00:44:55,735 --> 00:45:01,032 He runs around all the time knocking Tennessee. 981 00:45:01,115 --> 00:45:04,702 Now, just as a point of interest... gleep, 982 00:45:04,744 --> 00:45:08,873 what do you got against stanislavsky? 983 00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:10,374 What have I got against 984 00:45:10,416 --> 00:45:13,794 this personage stanislavsky? 985 00:45:13,878 --> 00:45:14,879 You. 986 00:45:21,385 --> 00:45:23,930 "Blow, blow, thou winter wind 987 00:45:24,013 --> 00:45:27,725 thou are not so unkind as man's ingratitude." 988 00:45:27,767 --> 00:45:31,103 That's from as you like it, act two, scene seven. 989 00:45:31,187 --> 00:45:33,564 Hey, will. Will, will. 990 00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:35,775 Hey, wait a minute, will, wait a minute. 991 00:45:35,858 --> 00:45:37,193 What are you doing? 992 00:45:37,276 --> 00:45:38,778 You'll louse up the whole deal! 993 00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:40,154 What am I going to tell them? 994 00:45:40,238 --> 00:45:41,822 Tell them simply 995 00:45:41,906 --> 00:45:43,658 that "foolery, sir, does walk about the orb 996 00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:44,909 "like the sun. 997 00:45:44,951 --> 00:45:46,494 It shines everywhere." 998 00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:48,746 Act three, scene one, twelfth night. 999 00:45:48,829 --> 00:45:52,166 And you, Julius moomer, foolish mortal 1000 00:45:52,250 --> 00:45:55,419 who could have covered himself with a cloak of immortality. 1001 00:45:55,503 --> 00:45:57,672 To you, Julius moomer who has succumbed 1002 00:45:57,755 --> 00:46:00,633 to the rankest compound of villainous smell 1003 00:46:00,716 --> 00:46:02,468 that ever offended nostril... 1004 00:46:02,551 --> 00:46:05,346 To you, Julius moomer... 1005 00:46:05,429 --> 00:46:07,765 [Imitates American accent] Lots of luck. 1006 00:46:21,988 --> 00:46:23,781 Hey, Julius, for a whole week now, 1007 00:46:23,864 --> 00:46:25,491 you look like somebody told you 1008 00:46:25,574 --> 00:46:28,369 to go out and scrub a lizard. 1009 00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:30,621 He finked out. 1010 00:46:30,705 --> 00:46:32,957 The guy finked out. 1011 00:46:32,999 --> 00:46:36,627 You want a couple words of advice? 1012 00:46:36,711 --> 00:46:38,671 Knock off the conjuring. 1013 00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:45,052 Get yourself a nice clean safe job on a streetcar. 1014 00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:47,138 "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind 1015 00:46:47,179 --> 00:46:50,516 "to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, 1016 00:46:50,599 --> 00:46:55,896 or to take arms against a sea of troubles." 1017 00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:58,024 Yeah? 1018 00:46:58,107 --> 00:47:01,569 Did that guy have talent or didn't he? 1019 00:47:01,652 --> 00:47:05,239 Man! I was on my way. 1020 00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:07,083 They already talked about my next assignment. 1021 00:47:07,116 --> 00:47:09,577 A 21/2-hour spectacular on American history. 1022 00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:12,371 What do you know about American history? 1023 00:47:12,455 --> 00:47:14,498 I know this much: 1024 00:47:14,540 --> 00:47:19,170 A writer named Julius moomer died of malnutrition in 1963. 1025 00:47:57,249 --> 00:47:58,834 Za-za-zoom. 1026 00:47:58,918 --> 00:48:02,505 Ala -kaza m. 1027 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:03,714 Va-va-voom. 1028 00:48:03,798 --> 00:48:04,882 Ma, hey, ma! 1029 00:48:04,965 --> 00:48:08,469 He's doing it again! 1030 00:48:08,552 --> 00:48:10,012 Who knows what it means? 1031 00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:11,597 But he's honorable, if nothing else. 1032 00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:12,800 This you've got to give him. 1033 00:48:12,848 --> 00:48:14,975 The what? 1034 00:48:15,059 --> 00:48:17,728 The American history thing? 1035 00:48:17,770 --> 00:48:19,897 Well, frankly, Mr. Bramhoff, 1036 00:48:19,939 --> 00:48:21,941 I haven't been able to reach him. 1037 00:48:22,024 --> 00:48:25,486 The fact is that I haven't... 1038 00:48:25,569 --> 00:48:28,447 Mr. Hugo, he's outside. 1039 00:48:28,531 --> 00:48:29,573 Who is? 1040 00:48:29,615 --> 00:48:30,950 Julius. 1041 00:48:31,033 --> 00:48:32,618 He's got some people with him. 1042 00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:35,329 Mr. Bramhoff? He's here. 1043 00:48:35,413 --> 00:48:36,914 He's come back to us. 1044 00:48:36,956 --> 00:48:38,791 The boy is coming back into our fold. 1045 00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:42,503 I told you you could count on moomer, I just knew it. 1046 00:48:42,586 --> 00:48:45,464 Yes, I'll get back, I'll get back to you, in a minute. 1047 00:48:46,924 --> 00:48:48,384 Mr. Hugo! 1048 00:48:48,467 --> 00:48:50,177 Julius, my boy, where have you been? 1049 00:48:50,261 --> 00:48:52,021 The whole week you wouldn't answer the phone. 1050 00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:53,889 The networks are screaming for you. 1051 00:48:53,973 --> 00:48:55,558 The agencies are screaming for you. 1052 00:48:55,641 --> 00:48:57,143 The clients are screaming for you. 1053 00:48:57,226 --> 00:48:59,019 They want that American history thing. 1054 00:48:59,103 --> 00:49:00,438 I got it. 1055 00:49:00,521 --> 00:49:02,773 An absolutely fantastic notion. 1056 00:49:02,857 --> 00:49:04,400 I'm right in the middle of it now. 1057 00:49:04,483 --> 00:49:06,193 Me and my staff have been working on it. 1058 00:49:06,277 --> 00:49:08,112 Not that kook in the knee britches? 1059 00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:10,156 Ah, he cut out. Forget about him. 1060 00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,950 Now this show's about American history, right? 1061 00:49:13,033 --> 00:49:15,369 And you want it documented-like, right? 1062 00:49:15,453 --> 00:49:17,246 And you want it real authentic. 1063 00:49:17,329 --> 00:49:19,957 Authentic above all, yes. 1064 00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:21,500 I'd like you to meet my staff. 1065 00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:22,960 Send those gentlemen in, would you. 1066 00:49:27,631 --> 00:49:34,221 General Robert e. Lee. 1067 00:49:34,305 --> 00:49:37,516 General ulysses s. Grant. 1068 00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:41,312 George Washington. 1069 00:49:41,395 --> 00:49:46,901 Abraham Lincoln. 1070 00:49:46,984 --> 00:49:49,904 Pocahontas. 1071 00:49:51,113 --> 00:49:54,825 Daniel Boone. 1072 00:49:54,909 --> 00:49:58,829 Theodore Roosevelt. 1073 00:49:58,913 --> 00:50:04,835 Benjamin Franklin. 1074 00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:06,879 (Narrator) Mr. Jul/us moomer. 1075 00:50:06,962 --> 00:50:10,216 A streetcar conductor w/th del us/ons ofauthorsh/p. 1076 00:50:10,299 --> 00:50:14,053 And if the tale just told seemsa little tall, 1077 00:50:14,136 --> 00:50:17,014 remember a thing called poetic license 1078 00:50:17,056 --> 00:50:19,183 and another thing called the twilight zone.