1 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:10,093 You unlock this door with the k e y of ima Gina t/on. 2 00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,387 Beyond it is another dimension. 3 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,515 A dimension of sound. 4 00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,517 A dimension of sight. 5 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,519 A dimension of mind. 6 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:23,398 You're moving into a land of both shadowand substance, of things and ideas. 7 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:27,194 You've just crossed over into the twilight zone. 8 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:36,578 Three glass perfume Bo ttl es. 9 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:41,542 Three crystal bottles. To imprison the attar of damask Rose petals. 10 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,877 Two pottery jugs. 11 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:46,588 Pottery jugs? Where's your aesthetic sense, man? 12 00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:49,216 You can't ent/oe anyone to buypottery jugs. 13 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,802 You think people buy something 'cause what you call it? 14 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,304 People don't buy anything in a gift shop. 15 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,974 They come in because they don't know what they want. 16 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,810 And then I, uh, sell them something. 17 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,563 Okay, what do you call the pottery jugs? 18 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:06,817 We'll display those alongside a couple of those silk pillows, with a loaf of dark bread. 19 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,402 "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, 20 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,779 and thou beside me singing in the wilderness." 21 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:15,325 I'll unload them in three days. 22 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,996 Okay, Omar, what do you call this? 23 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,832 Well, when we buy a shipment from Morocco, 24 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,334 sight unseen, we take what we get. 25 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:28,422 To sell this, I'll have to high-pressure some unsuspecting sucker. 26 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:37,347 Yes, sir, may I help you, sir? 27 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,807 Well, I-I hope so. 28 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,518 I-I mean, I'm not sure. I don't know what I want. 29 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,520 Well, suppose you tell me the occasion 30 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,188 and for whom it's intended, 31 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:49,359 and, uh, leave it up to me. 32 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,779 Well, it's-it's got to be something very special. 33 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,408 Yes. A, um, 34 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,536 personal gift, sir? 35 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,039 Oh, not-not too personal, no. 36 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,875 You see, there's this, uh, girl at my office, 37 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,711 and she's... she's-she's like a goddess. 38 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,547 And h wouldn't want her to think that I was implying... 39 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,383 I understand, sir. 40 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:17,220 Oh, I have it. It's ideal, it's perfect, it's marvelous. 41 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,306 It's romantic, but not forward, 42 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:22,809 and yet, int/me, in a subtle sort of way, of course. 43 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,311 Vo/la. 44 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:25,520 That, that old... 45 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,189 This magnificent old antique. 46 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:30,150 A truly distinguished antique. Fit for a goddess. 47 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,569 A continual reminder of your-your good taste, 48 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,238 your individuality, your-your flair for romance. 49 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:38,659 Note the tarnished metal. It testifies to its trueauthenticity, 50 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,994 and only $20. 51 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:44,331 Here, put this in a gift box for a most discriminating gentleman. 52 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:47,709 Thank you, sir. And I trust that you will allow me to serve you again 53 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:51,713 when it comes time for the, uh, engagement present? 54 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:54,424 Meet Mr. George p. Hanley, 55 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,512 a man life treats without deference, honor or success. 56 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:02,849 Walters serve his soup cold. Eleva Tor opera tors close doors in his face. 57 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:06,353 Mothers never bother to wait up for the daughters he dates. 58 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,898 George is a crea ture of humble habits and tame dreams. 59 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,859 He's an ordinary man, Mr. Hanley, butat this moment 60 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,279 the accidental possessor of a very special gift. 61 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,282 The kind of gift that measures men against their dreams. 62 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,952 The kind of gift most of us might ask for first 63 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,454 and possibly regret to the last, 64 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,373 if we, like Mr. George p. Hanley, 65 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,042 were about to plunge headfirst and unaware 66 00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:31,962 into our own personal twilight zone. 67 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,006 Hi, there, Georgie-porgie. Where were you for lunch? 68 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,008 Well, I-I had a few errands. 69 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,303 Well, you missed the world's champion worst chili con carne 70 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,972 ever offered for human consumption. 71 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,267 It set an historic new low 72 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,353 even for that greasy spoon Nick dares to call a diner. 73 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,439 I-I don't care much for chili. 74 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,984 Georgie, witness a solemn vow for me, will you? 75 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:39,029 Ri-right now? But I have to enter these municipal bonds. 76 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,948 I, Roger hackett, do solemnly swear 77 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,993 never again to commit gastronomic hari-kari at Nick's, 78 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:48,497 beginning with the first day of my promotion to head bookkeeper. 79 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:52,125 But Mr. Watson said that each of us with equal seniority 80 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,627 would have an equal chance. 81 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:57,297 That is true, Georgie, old porgie, we're all equal. 82 00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:00,634 But some of us are just a teeny bit more equal than others. 83 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:01,968 Especially me. 84 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,387 Now, Mr. Watson is fair, Roger. 85 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,140 Now, don't-don't-don't be overconfident. 86 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,477 I'm sure he will weigh carefully 87 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:13,730 our comparative experience in debit financing 88 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,983 and in evaluating liabilities. 89 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:20,195 That, old Georgie, is one reason I am more equal than you. 90 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,364 W-What is? 91 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,158 You're always thinking about debits and liabilities 92 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,161 when there are assets like her around. 93 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,757 Guess who? 94 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,093 Roger? 95 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,179 Happy birthday to the prettiest girl in this entire office! 96 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:49,766 Ha pp y b/p thda y! Many more. 97 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,685 No, but I'm the onlygirl. 98 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,855 And you would remain the prettiest, 99 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,439 even if this office were staffed 100 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,942 with the assembled miss Americas of the past five years. 101 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,611 Now, stop fishing for compl/ments and open your present. 102 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:05,031 Well, I wonder what it could be. 103 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,743 Oh, Roger! 104 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:14,124 Oh, it's beautiful! 105 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,126 Ann, put /7' on. 106 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:19,254 Fellas, fellas, can you just picture old man wa tson's puss 107 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,965 when he calls her in for dictation? How 'bout that, huh? 108 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:27,053 Mr. Watson has a mind for a different kind of figure, Sam. 109 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,557 You, uh, really like it, Ann? 110 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,393 Oh, Roger, I absolutely loveit. 111 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:36,938 But, really, you shouldn't have been so extravagant. 112 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:40,734 Well, after all, a girl onl y has a birthda y once a year. Until she's 30, of course. 113 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,987 And then she has them once every two years. 114 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,989 Roger. 115 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,866 Come over here. 116 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:07,135 There. Now, that's to show you my appreciation. 117 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:11,097 And to show you that I haven't even learned how to count to 30, yet. 118 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,947 M-Mr. Watson. 119 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,492 It-it's my birthday. 120 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:39,501 Do any of you happen to be aware of the annual statement 121 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,837 issued by this organization... 122 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,631 On miss Lawson's birthday? 123 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,882 No, sir. 124 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:50,053 Then I'm sure it'll come as an agreeable surprise 125 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,890 that this company has just completed the best year in its history. 126 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,893 And I believe that this department 127 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,562 had no little part in that success. 128 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,232 Oh, that's wonderful. 129 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,652 So, as a token of my personal appreciation, 130 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,071 I think that this is an appropriate time 131 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:11,741 to invite all of you to be my guests at a celebration party 132 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,494 beginning as soon as we can meet 133 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,079 at the club tiki. 134 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,915 Oh, Mr. Watson. 135 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,250 Mr. Watson? 136 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:24,045 Mr. Watson, you are a doll. 137 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,840 Ah. Thank you. 138 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,591 And as for you, young lady, 139 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:32,262 they're not the only ones who appreciate you. 140 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,180 Uh, claudius? 141 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,020 Oh! 142 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,521 Happy birthday 143 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,732 to the best-looking 144 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:47,944 and the hardest-working secretary I ever had. 145 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,364 Oh, Mr. Watson, they're just beautiful. 146 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:53,241 Yes. 147 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,410 Oh, thank you, thank you so much. 148 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,203 Yes. 149 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,205 Hey, let's go, kid, before the old man 150 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,958 discovers he's off his nut and has himself committed. 151 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,419 I think he's a very sweet dear man. 152 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,963 Hap-happy birthday, Ann. 153 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,883 Oh, well, thank you, George. Aren't you coming? 154 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,634 Oh, yeah, i-I'll be along. 155 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,012 We'll see you there. Come along, Roger. 156 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,887 Maybe I can use it for an ashtray or something. 157 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,610 Hiya, buddy. 158 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:13,696 Hey, how are ya, huh? 159 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,032 Come here, Attila. Come on, boy. 160 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,700 Here we go! Ha! 161 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,327 Come on, how was your day, huh? 162 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,329 Here, look, hey! 163 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:25,500 Here you go. Come on, beg. Sit, sit, up, stand, sit. 164 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:30,213 Heel, fall, atta boy! Oh, you ain't but a good doggie. 165 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:34,217 Oh, boy, oh, / love you, Attila. 166 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,220 Okay, buddy, let's see what's going on here, huh? 167 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,348 Go on, go sit. Huh? There you go. 168 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,559 Ah, there. 169 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,482 Full moon, Attila. 170 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:52,485 Ooh, how are the girls? 171 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,406 Here you go. There you are. 172 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,991 Did you have a good day, too? 173 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,870 Ah. Boy. 174 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,670 Why does it always happen to me, Attila? 175 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,839 Com e on, boy. 176 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,592 Hm? Why does it always happen to me? 177 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,344 S-Sometimes I think some people must have been born 178 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:21,055 with a-a silver spoon in their mouths. 179 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:23,600 Me, I must have been born with egg on my face. 180 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,435 Huh, huh, huh! 181 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,730 Now, I didn't give her any present. 182 00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,441 You know, Attila, I know just what people think of me. 183 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,110 A patsy, a jerk. 184 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,322 Hm, hm. Especially that Roger. 185 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,200 Sometimes I think they're right. 186 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,076 George p. Hanley. 187 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,746 Vocation: Jerk. 188 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:49,792 Hey, Attila, what are you barking at? 189 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,502 That box? 190 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,633 Well, come on, Attila, you can't bark at the box 191 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,302 and hide in ba ck of the couchat the same time. 192 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,430 You'll give yourself some kind of a trauma. 193 00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,141 Be brave, boy, be brave. 194 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,271 We're two of a kind, you and me. 195 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:12,982 Come on, I'll show you. 196 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,109 Be bra ve, a ttila. Be bra ve! 197 00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,320 Here, boy. Come here. Come on, fella. 198 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,614 There you go. Here, look, I'll show it to you. 199 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:23,451 Look, see? It's just a box 200 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:26,412 with a-with a-with a-with a beat-up old lamp in it. 201 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,748 That's all. There. 202 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:34,170 Probably came from some junkyard. See? 203 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,924 Magnificent old antique of rare distinction. 204 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,427 Boy, if being a jerk is my vocation, 205 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,513 at least I'm good at it. 206 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:47,850 Gosh. It's so tarnished, it almost looks black. Hm. 207 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,105 Hm? What's the matter? 208 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,274 Eh, you tell 'em, Attila. 209 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,526 Like me, a little late. 210 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,361 Well, let's clean it up. 211 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:03,116 Sure must be old, if dirt's any sign. 212 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,010 Who... who... who... 213 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,511 Who were you expectin'? 214 00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:24,679 Who... 215 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:27,473 I'm the genie in the lamp, that's who. 216 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,018 Aladdin, magic, the whole bit. 217 00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:32,353 Ge-genie. Ge-genie? 218 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,563 Yeah. 219 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,398 You-you don't look like a genie. 220 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:39,027 Well, what difference does the wardrobe make? The routine's the same. 221 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,154 You see, a couple of thousand years ago, 222 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:45,742 I used to wear those crazy silk balloon long Johns with the wild turban. 223 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,744 But let me tell you something, Jack. 224 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,203 George. 225 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,331 Jack, George, as long as you're healthy. 226 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,499 Today, we dress like the times. 227 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,418 Except for these. 228 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,086 Velveteen mukluks. 229 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,254 Mukluks. 230 00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,589 Mm-hm. 231 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,090 Genie. 232 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,426 If-if you are the genie, 233 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,888 then I must be the master of the lamp. 234 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,724 Big deal. Master of the lamp. 235 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,768 All right, you got yourself a free wish. 236 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,062 There's supposed to be three wishes. 237 00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:16,606 Ah, there's the rub. 238 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,274 There used to be three wishes. 239 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,735 But let me tell you something, Jack. 240 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,445 George. 241 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,114 You don't wanna change your name, huh? 242 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,951 Uh... the scene used to include three wishes, 243 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,705 but the recipients were abusing the privilege, so we had to cut down. 244 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,416 So, uh, give it a little thought. 245 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,460 Give me a call. 246 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,879 But do me a favor, will you? Sleep on it. 247 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,047 Sleep on it? 248 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,715 Yeah, you know the routine. 249 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:45,968 Once you make the wish, that's what you have to live with. 250 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,805 Wh-what do people usually wish for? 251 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,724 Oh, let me tell you something, Jack. 252 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,643 George. 253 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,729 The wildest. Oh, it's enough to make you blush. 254 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,564 A fortune, they wish for. 255 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,566 Money, precious jewels. 256 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,568 That's not so bad. 257 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,237 It's not so bad, huh? 258 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,489 You see, you're no different from the rest. 259 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:09,575 All right, you get yourself a lot of riches, a lot of dough. 260 00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:12,453 Now you're in trouble with the internal revenue. 261 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,997 You gota lot of phony char/ties come bugg/n' you. 262 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,917 Long-lost relatives come banging at your door. 263 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,086 It's enough to make you flip your gourd. 264 00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:22,171 Not-not wealth, huh? 265 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,841 Forget the wealth. 266 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,343 Maybe love? 267 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,595 Love? 268 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,264 That's what you'd wish for? 269 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,015 What are you, some kind of a kook? 270 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,184 You call me back from 2,000 years 271 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,311 to come and help you and you wish for love? 272 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,690 You don't wish for love, Jack. You find it. 273 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:45,528 But I'm not really sure what it is I want. 274 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,990 And if it isn't wealth or love, 275 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,533 i-i-i don't know. 276 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:53,870 Well, like I told you, give it a little thought, huh? 277 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,622 Ponder, drop it down the well a couple of times, 278 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,332 see if it splashes. 279 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,377 But don't go rubbing that lamp every time you get a bug, 280 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,714 'cause that smoke is murder on my sinus. 281 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,967 The next time I make the scene, that's it. 282 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,928 Like, later... George. 283 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,026 I can't believe it. 284 00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:29,322 Anything I want in the whole world. 285 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,990 Anything! 286 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,999 But only one wish. 287 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,547 Which one, Attila? Which one? 288 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,933 A million dollars. 289 00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,770 No, he's right. Tha t's the 90% bracket. 290 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,855 Love? 291 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,941 Too r/sky. 292 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:08,402 George hanley, 293 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,696 first man on the moon. 294 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,867 George hanley, 295 00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,786 sc/ent/s t. 296 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,416 General George p. Hanley, 297 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,962 commander of the arm/es. 298 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,631 Wha t if, what? t if I were married to Ann? 299 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:32,385 Wha t if-what? t if she were some kind of a... 300 00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:35,805 Some kind of a movie actress, and / were her husband? 301 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,724 Tha t would be killing two birds with one stone. 302 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,434 George, 303 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:43,980 George hanley, husband of-of Ann, 304 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,815 Ann Alexandra. 305 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,485 America's sweethearts. The perfect couple. 306 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,654 How about tha t? 307 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,908 Yeah. Yeah, howabout that? 308 00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,745 Remember, miss Alexandra, 309 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,747 you love the guy so much 310 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:05,126 that you do a loop-the-loop 311 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,962 as soon as you smell his after-shave lotion. 312 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,255 I'll try. 313 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,048 Oh, darling. 314 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,677 Hello, dear. 315 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,305 Ooh, ooh, ooh. Makeup, Georgie. 316 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,808 You wouldn't want me to play my final scene 317 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,643 with smeared lipstick, would you? 318 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:25,313 No, I guess not. Final scene? 319 00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:27,273 Mm-hm. 320 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,692 It's been a long grind. 321 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,862 They said you could have a couple of weeks off, 322 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,448 but that was six months ago. 323 00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,533 Well, 324 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,369 we could take our honeymoon now. 325 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,164 If you want to, that is. 326 00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,458 Want to? Oh. 327 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,627 Ooh, Georgie. 328 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:51,297 Makeup all day, beauty creams all night. 329 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:55,801 Well, they don't pay a movie star to look ugly, baby. 330 00:18:55,885 --> 00:19:00,348 Besides, don't you think I'm worth waiting for? 331 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:03,643 Yeah, sure, but six months. 332 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,646 Pla ces, pl ea se! 333 00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,314 Be right there. 334 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:14,070 I won't be long. 335 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,123 Oh, what a day! 336 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:32,171 Trying, endless day. 337 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:35,007 Tonight, no-no crawling into bed 338 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:38,719 right after dinner to study your lines. 339 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:42,515 And tomorrow morning, no getting up at 4:30 A.M. 340 00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:45,017 To get to the studio for makeup. 341 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:49,105 Oh, I like that face just the way it is. 342 00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:54,402 Oh, oh, I'm sorry, darling. 343 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,362 It's just that I'm worn out 344 00:19:56,404 --> 00:20:00,574 from that ersatz d.W. Griffith howling at me all day. 345 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,618 I thought you liked him. 346 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,913 Yes, I suppose. But he is so noisy. 347 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:09,500 He always seems to measure virility by decibels. 348 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:15,423 Well, I guess maybe he'll be quieter at the party tonight. 349 00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,049 What party? 350 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,968 Oh, did you forget? 351 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,721 The celebration party on the set tonight. 352 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,556 Oh, yea h. 353 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:29,979 We'll... Lea ve the party Earl y. 354 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:36,569 Oh! Oh, Georgie. 355 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,612 Oh, dear. 356 00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:41,657 Here, kiss me right up there. 357 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,576 Oop! Be careful of the hair, darling. 358 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:45,870 There'll be a million photographers there tonight, 359 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,956 and Andre will have a convulsion if it's ruined. 360 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,124 There! 361 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,752 Andre should carry medical insurance. 362 00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:56,589 Now, what I want is a nice, hot bath 363 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,924 for about an hour. 364 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,470 Would you like me to rub your back? 365 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,346 No, thank you, darling. 366 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,474 You know what you could do for me? 367 00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:10,436 You could take the dog for a walk. He's been cooped up all day. 368 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,781 Hi, boy, how are you? 369 00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,283 There we go, that's a good boy. 370 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:27,286 Come on, there we go, Attila. 371 00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:30,080 That a boy. Let's go for a little walk, huh? 372 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,342 George! George boy! 373 00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:46,889 I wanna talk to you. Ann mentioned something about you needing a vacation. 374 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,809 Oh, not me. Her. Both of us together. 375 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,560 I'm not going to mince words. 376 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:56,565 You got to say it's okay for Ann to do my next picture beowulf. 377 00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:59,568 Not a chance, Eli. It's our honeymoon. 378 00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,071 Great. I'm shooting beowulf on location. 379 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,405 Make a great honeymoon. 380 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:05,908 Some honeymoon, hm? 381 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:09,411 Makeup call at 4:30 A.M., work all day, 382 00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,497 study lines all night. 383 00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:14,083 Do you know the last time I saw her in the last six months 384 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,751 when she wasn't sleeping, 385 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:19,505 she was getting herself swabbed with makeup, beauty creams, 386 00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,507 rinses or some junk like that. 387 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,175 She's a star. 388 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:26,929 You wouldn't want her photographed with bags under her eyes or wrinkles. 389 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:30,224 All I want is to see her alone with bags or wrinkles. 390 00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:32,852 You want the world's most beautiful woman for a wife, 391 00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:34,436 you got to share her with the world. 392 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,857 I did for six months. Now I want the world to share her back. 393 00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:42,111 Son... it's not for myself, 394 00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:45,364 but no Ann, no beowulf. 395 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,700 But there are other stars. 396 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:50,911 Not like Ann Alexandra. 397 00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:55,916 Millions of plain folks all over the world wait to see her. 398 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,961 Little kids count their pennies. 399 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:02,089 Mothers go without lunch. 400 00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:07,761 And brave men sacrifice even the tiny luxury of a cigarette 401 00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:10,139 so they can buy a ticket to a movie theater 402 00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:14,977 and escape the drab drudgery of an uncaring world 403 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:19,899 wa tching their idol, Ann Alexandra. 404 00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:22,067 Looking like a fairy tale, 405 00:23:22,151 --> 00:23:25,738 doing all the things they dream but never get to do. 406 00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:28,824 I know. 407 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,409 Well, then, George, 408 00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:33,829 couldn't you find it in your heart to make this 409 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:37,249 one little sacrifice? 410 00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,754 You're right, Mr. Watson. 411 00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:46,717 I'll-I'll tell her to do the picture. 412 00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:50,763 We'll make the sacrifice together. 413 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:20,876 Ann, Ann, darling, you look magnificent! 414 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,962 You, too. 415 00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:25,839 Well, please, please, I'd like to make an announcement. 416 00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:28,634 Better yet, I'll make it a toast. Thanks old man. 417 00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:31,011 To the brightest star, 418 00:24:31,095 --> 00:24:34,348 the most exciting leading lady, 419 00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:36,892 the loveliest woman in the world, 420 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:41,146 Ann Alexandra, who has just agreed to star with me in beowulf! 421 00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:45,067 Congratulations. 422 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,152 Now, darling, remember the makeup. 423 00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:50,155 Besides, I'm not as good in profile. 424 00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:04,670 Hey, stop, thief! 425 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,173 Who's that? 426 00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:10,092 Me, mister. 427 00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:15,514 You hiding? 428 00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:19,351 I snap something. Nobody down on this level, yet. 429 00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:28,110 You make your repairs? 430 00:25:28,193 --> 00:25:30,404 Always I have the accidents. 431 00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:34,950 It is because I am... how you say? Too much prone? 432 00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,036 Would you like your drink now? 433 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,538 No, no, that is just to hold. 434 00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,790 I am under the age. 435 00:25:41,874 --> 00:25:43,876 Under the age? 436 00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:45,711 To drink. 437 00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,963 I have this terrible problem. 438 00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:50,716 You see, in the years, I am a child, 439 00:25:50,758 --> 00:25:53,635 but I think iam mature. 440 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:57,639 Don't you think iam mature? 441 00:25:57,723 --> 00:26:00,893 Yeah, I think you're mature. 442 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,314 You are producer, no? 443 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:07,274 Me? No. 444 00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:09,109 Director? 445 00:26:09,193 --> 00:26:11,070 Mm-mm. 446 00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,821 Writer? 447 00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:14,490 Sorry. 448 00:26:14,573 --> 00:26:16,575 Then I-I cannot guess who you are. 449 00:26:16,658 --> 00:26:19,787 I'm George hanley. 450 00:26:19,870 --> 00:26:21,330 Who? 451 00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:22,998 Ann Alexandra's husband. 452 00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:26,960 Well, for Pete's sake, give me back my drink! 453 00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:28,337 That's what you deserve 454 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:31,882 for wasting my time, Mr. Alexander. 455 00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:51,193 Now, aren't you glad you're here tonight? 456 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:53,612 Don't be ego t/s t/cal. 457 00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:56,615 I had to be here, anywa y. 458 00:26:56,657 --> 00:26:59,201 I don't understand you. 459 00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:02,121 No man is supposed to. 460 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:05,207 Tha t's the way we little girls are. 461 00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:07,543 Well, that part I understand. 462 00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:17,636 Mm, I'll spoil your makeup. 463 00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:20,097 Who cares? 464 00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:33,527 Ooh, oh. 465 00:27:33,610 --> 00:27:37,072 Oh, boy. Phew! I'm okay, boy. 466 00:27:37,156 --> 00:27:38,782 Wow, what a dream. 467 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,995 You know something, Attila? 468 00:27:43,036 --> 00:27:46,582 The trouble for a guy like me is that 469 00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:49,001 when I want something so much, 470 00:27:49,084 --> 00:27:52,504 it would hurt that much more to lose it. 471 00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:56,175 Let's face it, I-I would lose a wife like that. 472 00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:58,177 But I still got you, huh, boy? 473 00:27:58,218 --> 00:28:00,262 Yeah, you still love me. 474 00:28:01,972 --> 00:28:06,018 Well, at least it makes it easier to choose. 475 00:28:06,059 --> 00:28:11,607 All I have to decide now is between the two other things I've always wanted. 476 00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:14,026 Yeah. Hm. 477 00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:27,372 Twilight zone will continue after sta t/on ident/f/ca t/on. 478 00:28:49,269 --> 00:28:51,813 Good morning, George. 479 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:54,816 George? 480 00:28:56,985 --> 00:28:58,820 Morning, rog. 481 00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:00,322 Morning. 482 00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:09,748 Well, today's the day. 483 00:29:10,791 --> 00:29:12,751 For what, rog? 484 00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:14,169 What's got into you? 485 00:29:14,253 --> 00:29:17,172 Me? All I said was "morning, rog." 486 00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:19,341 And "for what, rog?" 487 00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:23,929 I don't think those are very pregnant phrases. 488 00:29:23,971 --> 00:29:27,349 You're real feisty this morning, aren't you, Georgie, old porgie? 489 00:29:27,432 --> 00:29:30,352 Hey, has Watson said anything to you about the promotion? 490 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,521 Oh, the promotion. I forgot about that. 491 00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:33,939 Huh, yeah, I'll bet. 492 00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:36,149 Yes, sir. Roger? 493 00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:38,944 Mr. Watson wants you in his office right away. 494 00:29:38,986 --> 00:29:40,237 Oh, right away. 495 00:29:44,074 --> 00:29:45,784 This could be it. 496 00:29:48,245 --> 00:29:49,496 Well. 497 00:29:51,373 --> 00:29:52,791 Over the top. 498 00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:58,714 They'd never pick him. 499 00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:01,008 Never. 500 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:08,515 George? The old boy wants another check on all these entries. 501 00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:09,808 For what? 502 00:30:09,850 --> 00:30:12,060 A new account, personal. Hey, this guy is so loaded, 503 00:30:12,144 --> 00:30:14,313 he could pay off the national debt out of petty cash. 504 00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:16,565 Didn't you check those entries after you made them? 505 00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:17,649 Well, sure! 506 00:30:17,691 --> 00:30:21,320 Then why do we have to do it again? That's not efficiency. That's a waste of time. 507 00:30:21,403 --> 00:30:24,573 George, how much do you make a week? 508 00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:27,242 Same as you, $98.50. 509 00:30:27,326 --> 00:30:29,119 Well, this joker makes so much dough 510 00:30:29,202 --> 00:30:32,748 that he sweats more than $98.50 every time he ties his shoelaces. 511 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:36,335 So, uh, waste a little time, hm? 512 00:30:56,563 --> 00:30:59,107 Wha t about this weal th bit? 513 00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:02,527 I mean, even with 90% off for taxes, 514 00:31:02,611 --> 00:31:06,198 there-there'd still be something left o ver. 515 00:31:06,281 --> 00:31:07,949 George hanley. 516 00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:11,703 No, make it g. Peter hanley, 517 00:31:11,787 --> 00:31:13,038 tycoon. 518 00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:16,708 G. Peter hanley, captain of industry. 519 00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:19,378 Crown prince of financial royal Ty. 520 00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:22,756 G. Peter hanley, rich guy. 521 00:31:30,263 --> 00:31:32,057 Beautiful day, isn't it, sir? 522 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:34,559 It'll do, it'll do. 523 00:31:34,643 --> 00:31:36,603 Will you be wanting me for lunch, sir? 524 00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:42,275 I can't say, but you'd better keep yourself available, just in case... Roger. 525 00:31:42,359 --> 00:31:44,319 Yes, sir. 526 00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:51,118 No, no, no, we can't play now, boy. 527 00:31:51,201 --> 00:31:53,578 I'm so sorry, I couldn't hold him, Mr. Hanley. 528 00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:56,998 Yes. Roger, you better take Attila over to "21" 529 00:31:57,082 --> 00:32:00,085 and have the chef fix him up a nice prime rib of beef, huh? 530 00:32:00,168 --> 00:32:01,586 Oh, and not too fatty. 531 00:32:01,628 --> 00:32:03,004 Yes, sir. 532 00:32:03,088 --> 00:32:06,299 Oh, also, you better trot him around the block a couple of times. 533 00:32:06,383 --> 00:32:10,178 His appetite's a bit jaded. Atta boy. 534 00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:12,139 Come on, boy. Come on, boy. 535 00:32:13,348 --> 00:32:15,684 Paper, sir? Paper? 536 00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,769 Son, 537 00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:18,770 how old are you? 538 00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:20,147 Nine, sir. 539 00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:22,441 I see you here every morning. 540 00:32:22,524 --> 00:32:24,651 Don't you miss school? 541 00:32:24,734 --> 00:32:27,612 Oh, no, sir. I wouldn't miss school. 542 00:32:27,696 --> 00:32:29,698 I get up at 5:00 for my papers, 543 00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:32,617 then I go to the afternoon session at ps. 31. 544 00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:35,954 Incredible. 545 00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:38,999 What do your parents say? 546 00:32:39,082 --> 00:32:41,376 My mom is dead. 547 00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:45,338 My old man had a store, but it went broke. 548 00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:49,384 I'm sorry, son. 549 00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:50,802 I'll have that paper. 550 00:32:50,886 --> 00:32:51,887 Yes, sir. 551 00:32:53,513 --> 00:32:57,893 Gosh! I can't change a $100-bill! 552 00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:00,979 I didn't expect you to, son. 553 00:33:25,962 --> 00:33:27,339 Good morning, Mr. Hanley. 554 00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:31,176 Tri-electronics, up 7/8 on the morning ticker. Glad to have you back, sir. 555 00:33:31,218 --> 00:33:32,761 Thank you, thank you. 556 00:33:36,056 --> 00:33:37,432 How was the riviera, sir? 557 00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:39,726 All right, I guess. 558 00:33:39,809 --> 00:33:42,270 It's kind of like a suburban tract, 559 00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:44,940 only all castles. 560 00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,403 Gay social whirl, was it, sir? 561 00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:55,367 I was about whirled out after the first six parties. 562 00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:59,329 They even gave one to celebrate the incoming of the tide. 563 00:34:00,789 --> 00:34:03,959 Miss Lawson, would you take care of these? They're a bit soiled. 564 00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:05,460 Certainly, Mr. Han ley. 565 00:34:07,963 --> 00:34:09,589 Can't they be cleaned? 566 00:34:09,673 --> 00:34:12,634 We throw them away, sir. In your tax bracket, it's cheaper. 567 00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:13,802 I suppose, I suppose. 568 00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:16,054 Shall I start the people in, sir? 569 00:34:16,137 --> 00:34:17,472 Yes, you might as well. 570 00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:19,140 Very good, sir. 571 00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:29,442 Dr. Watson. 572 00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:33,488 What brings you here, sir? 573 00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:35,407 Begging again, I'm afraid. 574 00:34:35,490 --> 00:34:38,743 These days, a college president is much more concerned 575 00:34:38,785 --> 00:34:41,079 with salesmanship than scholarship. 576 00:34:41,121 --> 00:34:42,914 Sit. 577 00:34:42,956 --> 00:34:44,374 Thank you, George. 578 00:34:53,300 --> 00:34:55,760 You've come to the right man, sir. 579 00:34:55,844 --> 00:35:00,432 George, you've already done more for your Alma mater 580 00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:02,642 than we have a right to ask. 581 00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:05,020 This is an emergency, or I wouldn't be here. 582 00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,187 How much, sir? 583 00:35:06,271 --> 00:35:10,275 Too much. But I'm hoping you'll be able to start the ball rolling. 584 00:35:10,358 --> 00:35:12,777 Don't be coy with me, sir. 585 00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:14,195 How much? 586 00:35:14,279 --> 00:35:18,199 All together, 1,200,000. 587 00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:23,788 Now, if you could possibly start us off w/th, say, uh, 70 or 20,000. 588 00:35:25,165 --> 00:35:26,374 You've got it. 589 00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:29,127 You're a generous man, g.P. 590 00:35:29,210 --> 00:35:30,962 We're all in your debt. 591 00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:35,300 George! You've made a mistake. 592 00:35:35,342 --> 00:35:38,053 No, sir, I've always been rather good with figures. 593 00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:41,473 It's the entire sum, 1,200,000. 594 00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:42,849 Deductible. 595 00:35:42,932 --> 00:35:45,226 No, George, I can't take this. 596 00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:46,686 But I want to give it. 597 00:35:46,770 --> 00:35:48,647 So would others, George. 598 00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:53,068 Thousands of alumni, not as successful, not as fortunate. 599 00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:55,403 But every bit as generous. 600 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:58,990 Giving, sharing the burden and the satisfaction 601 00:35:59,074 --> 00:36:02,661 is the cement which binds their minds and hearts 602 00:36:02,702 --> 00:36:05,246 to our beloved Alma mater. 603 00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:07,749 I can't let you deprive them 604 00:36:07,832 --> 00:36:10,210 of the great privilege of g/v/ng. 605 00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:14,756 I was only trying to help, sir. 606 00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:18,009 This isn't generosity, g.P. 607 00:36:18,051 --> 00:36:19,844 It's ostentation. 608 00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:22,347 I'm sorry. 609 00:36:23,807 --> 00:36:25,850 What should I do? 610 00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:29,938 Send me your check for the 20,000 I asked for. 611 00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:31,356 Thank you. 612 00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:33,775 Thank you. 613 00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:35,443 Don't mention it. 614 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:55,130 Well, sir, ready to see how the old empire's faring? 615 00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:56,631 I suppose so. 616 00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:59,259 A few items I thought you wouldn't want to miss, Mr. Hanley. 617 00:36:59,342 --> 00:37:02,387 I thought I already owned one of just about everything ever made. 618 00:37:02,470 --> 00:37:05,056 You can't keep up with yankee ingenuity and productivity. 619 00:37:05,098 --> 00:37:07,559 We've got to buckle down to some serious spending. 620 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,936 We can't let you have too much cash available, 621 00:37:10,019 --> 00:37:13,231 otherwise, the government's liable to invent a new tax bracket. 622 00:37:13,314 --> 00:37:15,775 Now, 623 00:37:15,859 --> 00:37:18,653 here we have a handsome little yacht. 624 00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:22,657 But I already own a 94-footer docked up at Newport. 625 00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:25,785 This one makes that look like a dinghy. Handsome, isn't it? 626 00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:31,082 You know something, masters? Buying things isn'tany fun for me anymore. 627 00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:35,086 Before I had money, I... 628 00:37:35,128 --> 00:37:37,630 I used to look forward to buying a secondhand car 629 00:37:37,714 --> 00:37:42,677 like a... like a kid waiting for Christmas. 630 00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:46,598 Now there's no anticipation, there's no hungering. 631 00:37:46,639 --> 00:37:48,767 I... I just write checks. 632 00:37:48,850 --> 00:37:51,019 Ah, you're feeling blue, Mr. Hanley. 633 00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:53,313 I used to enjoy little things 634 00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:56,524 like an ice cream cone when it was hot, 635 00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:59,611 a ball game, 636 00:37:59,694 --> 00:38:03,156 getting out of the apartment for a walk in the park. 637 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,283 Now every time I go for a walk in the park, 638 00:38:05,366 --> 00:38:09,037 four people come up and ask me when I'm going to subdivide it. 639 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,540 Masters, I'm going to quit buying things. 640 00:38:12,624 --> 00:38:14,125 That's subversive, sir. 641 00:38:14,209 --> 00:38:16,169 I beg your pardon? 642 00:38:16,252 --> 00:38:19,881 Tha t's UN-American. Salesmanship is our way of life. 643 00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:22,467 Think of those men living on blue sky and a prayer, 644 00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:24,844 depending on you for their daily commission. 645 00:38:24,928 --> 00:38:27,222 They've got little ones, mouths to feed. 646 00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:31,392 No, Mr. Hanley, you can't stop buying, ever. Buying is your destiny. 647 00:38:31,476 --> 00:38:36,064 Don't waver now. Do your duty, Mr. Hanley. Do your duty. 648 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:40,193 Congratulate me, George. Hey, George, I said congratulate me. 649 00:38:40,276 --> 00:38:42,570 Con-congratulate you? 650 00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:45,698 Gentlemen, you are now looking at the new head bookkeeper 651 00:38:45,782 --> 00:38:49,494 of this entire organization. 652 00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:51,162 Congratulations. 653 00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:52,831 Congratulations, Roger. 654 00:38:52,872 --> 00:38:54,374 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 655 00:38:54,457 --> 00:38:57,919 But the first thing I want to tell you guys is I intend to keep my vow. 656 00:38:58,002 --> 00:39:00,672 No more lousy lunches at Nick's. 657 00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:04,384 Him. 658 00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:06,135 They gave it to him. 659 00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:09,347 He wasn't even a good chauffeur. 660 00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:37,709 Well. 661 00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:42,130 We're down to the last wish, Attila. 662 00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:46,718 I'd never keep a beautiful wife. 663 00:39:46,759 --> 00:39:50,221 And money, money's no fun if you have everything. 664 00:39:50,305 --> 00:39:53,641 You just sit around and look at it. 665 00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:55,268 Position. 666 00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:58,646 Power. That's-that's what makes the world go 'round these days. 667 00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:01,441 Look at Mr. Watson, how he gave Roger that job, huh? 668 00:40:02,942 --> 00:40:07,530 Believe me, if-if I had power, I'd be fair. 669 00:40:09,073 --> 00:40:10,533 What do you think, Attila? 670 00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:15,496 Do we dare wish that third thing? 671 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:19,334 Power. 672 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:22,670 Preroga t/ve. Push. Why not? 673 00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:25,340 George hanley, sta tesman. 674 00:40:25,423 --> 00:40:28,509 G.p. Hanley, controller of dest/n/es. 675 00:40:28,593 --> 00:40:31,346 George p. Hanley, the George p. Hanley. 676 00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:33,097 Leader of men. 677 00:40:42,106 --> 00:40:45,652 Oh, sir, you'll be exhausted. 678 00:40:45,735 --> 00:40:49,322 Let me tell them to hurry on to the airport. 679 00:40:49,405 --> 00:40:50,698 Watson, 680 00:40:51,783 --> 00:40:54,202 these people elected me. 681 00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:58,206 They have placed in these humble hands 682 00:40:58,289 --> 00:41:02,669 their individual destinies. 683 00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:07,966 I think it only fitting that they see just what kind of destiny they're getting. 684 00:41:08,049 --> 00:41:11,010 They're getting the best, Mr. President. 685 00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:12,720 Thank you, Watson. 686 00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:14,389 Thank you. 687 00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:17,225 That means a great deal to me, coming from you. 688 00:41:22,939 --> 00:41:24,565 Ver y good, Mr. Ambassador. 689 00:41:24,649 --> 00:41:26,150 I agree. 690 00:41:26,192 --> 00:41:28,820 No, there is nothing new in our crisis. 691 00:41:28,861 --> 00:41:30,822 Yes, sir. 692 00:41:30,863 --> 00:41:32,824 Very good. 693 00:41:32,907 --> 00:41:34,534 We are in agreement. 694 00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:38,997 Yes, sir, very good. Then go ahead, sir. 695 00:41:39,038 --> 00:41:42,542 Mr. President, this pension legislation will tear the party in two. 696 00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:45,670 If you let it come to the floor, I won't get a single vote in November 697 00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:47,255 from anyone over the age of ten. 698 00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:50,717 Have you checked with the majority leader to see if he can kill it in committee? 699 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,093 No, I did not, sir. 700 00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:54,679 Ask him. Tell him the president said, "handle it." 701 00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:56,514 Yes, sir. 702 00:41:56,597 --> 00:41:57,765 Yes? 703 00:41:57,849 --> 00:42:00,768 The situation is fraught with tension in Asia, Mr. President. 704 00:42:00,852 --> 00:42:03,229 We're not getting enough intelligence down there. 705 00:42:03,312 --> 00:42:04,439 Hold on. 706 00:42:04,522 --> 00:42:08,109 Have the c.I.A. Prepare a full staff study. Tell bill you need it right away. 707 00:42:08,192 --> 00:42:09,736 Thank you, sir. 708 00:42:11,112 --> 00:42:13,197 Your appointment schedule, Mr. President. 709 00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:14,574 Thank you, may. 710 00:42:14,657 --> 00:42:17,285 Move the press conference to after lunch. I need a haircut. 711 00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:21,539 I'll make the u.N. Speech. Tell lorenson to whip up a draft and remind him: Jokes. 712 00:42:21,581 --> 00:42:22,707 Yes, Mr. President. 713 00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:24,208 Who are Sonny and Mickey? 714 00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:27,462 Oh, they're the cub scouts who wrote you the letter on citizenship. 715 00:42:27,545 --> 00:42:31,132 You asked to be reminded when they came into the capitol. Of course, there's no time. 716 00:42:31,215 --> 00:42:33,968 Make time. We'll have haircuts together. 717 00:42:34,052 --> 00:42:37,388 Yes, sir. Oh, it's almost 70:00. 718 00:42:37,472 --> 00:42:38,723 Pardon me, Murray. 719 00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:47,273 Twenty million kilowatts for the people of the southwest. 720 00:42:47,356 --> 00:42:50,902 Too bad I can't make all these dedications in person. 721 00:42:50,985 --> 00:42:54,155 Miss may, pass this on to the secretary of defense, marked "expedite." 722 00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:56,407 Save these for the cabinet meeting, priority. 723 00:42:56,449 --> 00:42:59,577 And get the economic advisory council to dig in on this. 724 00:42:59,660 --> 00:43:02,121 See me after lunch, Murray, won't you? 725 00:43:15,718 --> 00:43:18,930 Come, boy. Ah, come, Attila. 726 00:43:20,515 --> 00:43:23,267 How's my boy, eh? Here we are. 727 00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:26,479 Good boy. 728 00:43:58,553 --> 00:44:02,640 Oh, Mr. President, I had to see you. 729 00:44:02,682 --> 00:44:05,560 Who... wh-what are you doing there, woman? 730 00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:08,312 I-I've been hiding there all night, sir. 731 00:44:08,354 --> 00:44:11,190 It was the only way. They said you were too busy. 732 00:44:11,274 --> 00:44:15,027 Oh, please, please listen to me, sir. Don't send me away. 733 00:44:15,111 --> 00:44:18,489 Oh, my good woman, come, here you are. 734 00:44:18,531 --> 00:44:20,575 Here you are. 735 00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:23,703 Now, what, what can I do for you, madam? 736 00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:29,375 Mr. President, it's my son. 737 00:44:29,458 --> 00:44:31,711 He's just a boy. 738 00:44:31,794 --> 00:44:33,337 Eighteen. 739 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:39,760 He fell asleep on guard duty, and they said it was treason. 740 00:44:39,844 --> 00:44:42,889 They're going to hang him, Mr. President. 741 00:44:42,972 --> 00:44:44,557 Hang him. 742 00:44:45,516 --> 00:44:47,560 Easy now, easy. 743 00:44:47,643 --> 00:44:49,187 He's in the service, your boy? 744 00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:50,688 Yes, sir. 745 00:44:50,771 --> 00:44:54,275 The army, special duty at the missile base. 746 00:44:54,358 --> 00:44:56,611 I see. 747 00:44:56,694 --> 00:44:59,947 Falling asleep on duty is very serious. 748 00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:01,949 Oh, I know, sir. 749 00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:05,578 Onlya presidential pardon can save him. 750 00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:09,207 Oh, please, sir. He's a good boy. 751 00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:11,125 Just a little tired. 752 00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:13,961 It could happen to anyone. 753 00:45:14,045 --> 00:45:15,630 Indeed it could, ma'am. 754 00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:17,715 Then you'll do it? 755 00:45:17,798 --> 00:45:19,634 You'll pardon him? 756 00:45:19,717 --> 00:45:23,221 If freedom is our battle cry, 757 00:45:23,304 --> 00:45:28,267 then justice and mercy are our glory. 758 00:45:30,645 --> 00:45:32,480 Ma'am, 759 00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:37,026 you tell your boy that when you see him tomorrow. 760 00:45:42,698 --> 00:45:46,994 Have the Attorney General prepare an order for executive clemency immediately. 761 00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:48,579 Oh, thank you. 762 00:45:48,621 --> 00:45:51,249 Thank you, thank you, Mr. President. 763 00:45:51,332 --> 00:45:54,293 Mr. President, you're a great man. 764 00:45:54,377 --> 00:45:55,795 Bless you. 765 00:45:57,004 --> 00:45:58,422 Bless you. 766 00:46:12,311 --> 00:46:13,938 You see, Attila? 767 00:46:14,939 --> 00:46:18,025 Power is not a difficult thing to handle. 768 00:46:18,109 --> 00:46:21,445 All one has to know is how to use it. 769 00:46:23,197 --> 00:46:24,782 I couldn't wait, Mr. President. 770 00:46:24,824 --> 00:46:27,994 Those blips on the radar screen have just been identified. Spaceships. 771 00:46:28,077 --> 00:46:29,704 From some strange planet. 772 00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:31,455 Spaceships from another planet? 773 00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:32,832 Huge ones, hundreds of them. 774 00:46:32,915 --> 00:46:34,333 What'll we do? 775 00:46:34,417 --> 00:46:36,377 We can't take chances. Shoot them down! 776 00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:39,046 There might be thousands of innocent people aboard. 777 00:46:39,130 --> 00:46:42,049 They're headed directly for us. We signaled and they refused to answer. 778 00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:46,053 It might be the greatest breakthrough of scientific investigation in history. 779 00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:49,241 If they're advanced to get here, think of their weapons, what they can do to us. 780 00:46:49,265 --> 00:46:51,785 Our only chance is to get them with missiles before they arrive! 781 00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:53,144 Wha t if they're friendl y? 782 00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:56,397 What if they aren't? Counterattack before it's too late. 783 00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:58,190 The decision is up to you, Mr. President. 784 00:46:58,274 --> 00:46:59,483 What about a staff study? 785 00:46:59,567 --> 00:47:00,901 There isn't time! 786 00:47:00,985 --> 00:47:04,030 Can we call the congress? The secretary of defense? 787 00:47:04,113 --> 00:47:06,324 It's a matter of moments, sir. It's up to you! 788 00:47:06,407 --> 00:47:10,703 No, no, I can't decide! I can't decide, no! 789 00:47:10,786 --> 00:47:13,414 Not me! Not me! Not me! 790 00:47:13,497 --> 00:47:17,335 Not me, not-not me. 791 00:47:17,418 --> 00:47:21,589 Yeah, you, Mac. You and your mutt, get off of my stoop. 792 00:47:21,672 --> 00:47:23,674 Oh, okay, okay. 793 00:47:23,716 --> 00:47:26,218 Come on, boy. Come on, boy. 794 00:47:33,642 --> 00:47:35,603 But you know something, Attila? 795 00:47:35,686 --> 00:47:40,441 No matter what I wished for, it wouldn't change anything. I'd still be me. 796 00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:42,902 George p. Hanley. 797 00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:45,780 Vocation: Jerk. 798 00:47:45,863 --> 00:47:47,114 What's the quotation? 799 00:47:48,741 --> 00:47:51,369 "Men at some time 800 00:47:51,452 --> 00:47:54,372 are masters of their fates." 801 00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:58,709 "The fault," dear Attila, 802 00:47:58,793 --> 00:48:01,629 "is not in our stars, 803 00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:03,047 but in ourselves." 804 00:48:07,134 --> 00:48:09,053 Ourselves. 805 00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:12,390 Ourselves. 806 00:48:19,146 --> 00:48:22,983 Get ready, you bored, old genie. 807 00:48:23,067 --> 00:48:27,405 We're gonna wish for something... original! 808 00:49:26,338 --> 00:49:28,632 Yes, master, 809 00:49:28,674 --> 00:49:32,803 iam the gen/e of the lamp. 810 00:49:32,887 --> 00:49:36,056 You may have three wishes. 811 00:49:36,140 --> 00:49:38,476 But when you have made them, 812 00:49:38,559 --> 00:49:42,229 you must return the lamp to this alley 813 00:49:42,313 --> 00:49:45,441 where others may find it. 814 00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:52,656 At your service, sir. 815 00:49:52,698 --> 00:49:56,660 Mr. George p. Hanle y, former voca tion: Jerk. 816 00:49:56,702 --> 00:49:59,330 Present voca t/on.' Gen/e. 817 00:49:59,413 --> 00:50:02,333 George p. Hanley, a most ordinary man 818 00:50:02,374 --> 00:50:05,920 whom life trea Ted without deference, honor, or success. 819 00:50:06,003 --> 00:50:09,507 Buta man wise enough to decide ona most extra ordinary wish 820 00:50:09,590 --> 00:50:12,510 tha t makes him the contented permanent master 821 00:50:12,551 --> 00:50:15,596 of his own al tru/st/c twilight zone. 822 00:51:10,650 --> 00:51:12,530 Twilight zone brought to you by