[Eerie music]
(Male narrator) You're tra vel/ng through another dimension,
a dimension not onl y of sightand sound, but of mind.
A journey into a wondrous land
whose boundaries are tha t of ima Gina t/on.
Tha t's the s/gnpost up ahead.
Your next stop, the twilight zone.
(Narrator) Uniouel yamerioan institution known as the neighborhood bar.
Reading left to right are Mr. Anthony o'tool e, proprietor,
who waters his drinks like geran/ums
but who stands four-square for peace and quiet
and for booths for ladles.
This is Mr. Joseph j. Callahan, an unreg/stered book/e,
whose entire life is any sporting event
with two sides and a set of odds.
His idea of a meeting a t the summit is any dial og
between a ca toher and a p/toher with more than one man on base.
And this an/ma Ted cit/zen is everyanonymous bettor
who ever dropped rent money
ona horse race or prize fight or a floating crap game
and who took out his frus tra t/ons and his insol venoy
on any vulnerable fellow barstool companion
with/n arm's and f/st's reach.
And this is Mr. Luther dingle, a vacuum cleaner salesman
whose volume of business is roughl y tha t
of a valetata hobo convention.
He's a consumma te fail ure in almost everything
but is a good I/stener and has a prom/nent ja w.
Don't give me that, Callahan.
I don't pay off on a bum call.
Three umpires call the man out.
I call the man out.
60,000 fans call the man out.
The final score was Pittsburgh 3, Dodgers nothing.
You and I got an even bet, pal.
I happened to have the pirates. You got the Dodgers.
So you owe me five dollars.
The ball was foul when it hit him
so instead of an out, it was a foul ball.
So who's to say there wouldn't have been a man on base?
And when pignatano got a single a run would have scored.
And like that. And furthermore, Callahan,
you're nothing but a cheating insult to the American bookie.
Oh, yeah? I'll give you five seconds to take back that innuendo.
Callahan, I told you once before already.
You start another brawl in here
and I'm gonna fix that mouth of yours
so any future drinking you'll do
is gonna be through a tube stuck in avein.
Me? Why me? Tell it to the troublemaker.
The number-one wel Cher
of all the western sta tes sitting over here.
His father owes my father from the second dempsey-tunney fight.
Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?
Mainly on account of it was a bum call.
Hey, buddy, did you see the tunney fight?
You remember the referee with the long count?
The guy was knocked clear out of the ring.
You could have gone up in the stands, got a can of beer
engaged in a little conversation,
come back, sit down in your seat
and the referee still wasn't finished counting.
Now, I ask you, how about that?
I ask you, how about it?
Me?
Yeah, yeah, you.
Did you watch the game on TV last night?
You talk about bum calls.
Duke snider was up in the ninth inning.
Two men were out. Howard and moon were on first and second.
And this umpire with no pupils in his eyes
calls a foul ball an out. Did you see it?
[Stuttering] Yes, as a matter of fact
I did watch the game on television.
Exceptional defensive play, exceptional.
Abner d-d-doubleday would have been proud.
Never mind about abner doubleda y.
I'm willing to leave it up to you.
Was it a foul ball or was it an out?
It appears to me that the ball fell into fair territory
and therefore when striking the ground
and hitting the batter,
the rules very definitely state the batter was out.
You asked the man, you got an answer.
Of course you realize, pal
that you're calling me a liar.
Now, I'm not an unreasonable man
so I'm going to give you one more chance.
Was it a foul ball...
Or was it an out?
Well, it's my considered opinion...
How's come you got to always be hitting dingle?
You hit him last week, you him the week before.
A man can only stand so much.
I'm tired of this guy contradicting me.
And when a guy calls me a liar,
there's my honor to be considered.
Your honor?
You've got nothing in line in you
from the bottom of your arches
to where you part your hair...
Which is pretty tough to find.
And when you die,
they'll have to screw you in the ground.
Am I crooked?
You got to believe me. Am I crooked?
Dingle, dingle, for once...
For once, why can't you be neutral?
Am I crooked?
Why don't you tell the man?
Wait a minute, back off.
Are you serious about this?
[Arguing]
(Narrator) And these two unseen gentlemen are visitors from outer space.
They're about to alter the destiny of Luther dingle
by leaving him a legacy
the kind you can't hardly find no more.
In just a moment, a sad-faced, perennial punching bag
who missed even the caboose of life's gravy train
will take a short constitutional
into that most unpredictable region
that we refer to as the twilight zone.
This man don't know the first thing about baseball.
[Arguing]
If anybody can tell me
the Phillies deserved
winning the pennant that year
they're out of their minds.
You sure we're invisible?
Beyond any doubt.
I wish they were.
You don't have to do that.
[Arguing]
You don't even have to answer.
Just because he don't like the Phillies...
Let me tell him.
You have a brain of your own, don't you?
You have your own viewpoint.
What did you think of the Phillies of 1953?
Phillies... 1953?
That's right.
That's right, Phillies of 1953.
You ever see such jerky-looking creatures?
And one head yet.
Typical earthmen.
Not really though. The one in the middle,
the one who just suffered the physical damage
he may be the one we've been looking for.
How do you mean?
Silence, I'm receiving his waves.
Name is dingle, abject coward,
does not even possess what earth creatures call min/mum muscles.
Decidedl y a sub-ph ysical type.
I think we have found our subject.
You intend to give him the additional strength?
We haven't found anyone weaker, have we?
I believe he will be an exceptional subject.
Give him, oh, around 11 secograms atomic weight.
That should make him roughly 300 times stronger
than the average human being.
Yes, I think that will do it.
We'd better contact central labora tor/es.
Tell them we have found a subject.
In other words, you're telling me
that you thought Robin Roberts had more stuff
than clem labine?
Well, to be frank and candid,
those two men, as good as they both are
and all things... being equal...
Come on already, take your pick.
Mmm. Roberts?
Aw, for the last time.
You start one more roughhouse in here
and I won't let you come back.
Now, look what you've done.
How you feeling, dingle?
C-C-Clem I-I-I-labine was definitely superior.
You see? All I made him do
was see things clearer.
I can observe him now.
Let him have it.
[Electrical crackling]
[Crackling continues]
How about it, dingle?
How you doing?
Definitely clem labine.
Dingle, would you mind a little advice?
Now, the whole world is full of guys
that are going to get punched in the nose
no matter who they pick in a ball game
or who they vote for.
Now, you want to know my advice
for what you should do for the rest of your life?
Just don't talk, just nod.
Somebody asks you who you like in the third,
you just smile.
You understand, dingle?
[Ping]
What's the matter?
It's very odd.
What's odd?
I... I feel f-f-funny.
Funny?
Yeah.
Wonder what caused that?
Caused what?
Well, this vacuum cleaner, it's...
Light as a feather.
Not that the machine isn't right, no sir.
It's the lightest on the market.
Yes, sir, I tell you
it's a hand y-dandy, Jim cracker, a-1 piece of merchandise.
Guaranteed to lighten the load and lengthen the life
of that partner in the home, th-th-the housewife.
But I didn't know it was... this light. Hm?
Dingle, I always figured you for a nice guy.
You never caused me no trouble.
Now why all of a sudden you got to wreck my front door?
Mr. O'Toole, I'm mystified.
I'm absolutely mystified.
This door seemed to come right off in my hands.
You here again?
Didn't my old man say
he was gonna punch you in the nose
if you came around here bothering us again?
You're quite right.
It's the wrong number.
I was headed across the street.
Now that's not the best of all possible manners, is it?
Aw, go peddle your vacuum cleaners, you creep
and throw me my ball back.
All right, run out for the pass.
Hey, mister, where'd you learn to fling a ball like that?
Why, I don't know. I really don't...
What is happening?
What on earth is happening to me?
Taxi, taxi, please. Thank you.
Oh, believe me!
This is as much a mystery to me as it is to you.
They don't make handles like they used to, do they?
Oh, I'm sorr...
[Clears throat]
Excuse me, miss.
Yes?
I don't want you to think I'm a masher.
I'm certainly not a masher.
But would you mind answering a question?
That depends.
Well, what I mean is looking at me
in a perfunctory, cursory first surveil,
do I appear abnormal in any way?
Not at all.
Not unless you plan to use that in the park.
Oh, that.
Do you know that up until a few hours ago
I sold those?
Or I went through the motions.
I was a very bad salesman. Miserable.
You know, last week
I only made 89 cents in commissions.
That was for an attachment.
It's the upholstery nozzle.
And I sold it to a drunk
who thought it was a divining rod for alcohol.
Oh, I fully expect to be fired
but that is the least of my trouble.
Would you be interested
in hearing the most of my worries?
Go ahead.
Watch.
[Screaming]
You see?
Now, w-w-watch this.
Hey, buddy, I'm a reporter with the bulletin.
Would you mind doing that again?
With the rock?
What's the gag?
There's no gag, see?
Get another one of those.
This I got to get in the paper.
[Groaning] How's this?
[Clock ticking]
[Alarm ringing]
[Alarm continues ringing]
[Ringing stops]
Mr. Dingle, if what we hear is true,
do you realize how much money can be made
on a tour with our carnival?
Mr. Dingle, this is a con artist.
Your future lies in television.
You're the walking, talking embodiment
of every American male's wish fulfillment.
You're John q. Citizen.
You're babbitt, you're Tom, dick and Harry.
Now here's our idea for the series.
A simple 15-minute address by you
with little examples of your physical prowess.
It's a natural for breakfast cereals
tonics, vitamin pills, anything.
And I keep telling you
you line up with me
I'll get you some easy setups.
Inside of eight months I'll have you fighting
for the world championship.
That's so ridiculous.
(Reporter) Would the people surrounding Mr. Dingle
just get out of the way, please.
Out of the way.
The camera in there... and that light there and...
[Clears throat]
Hello, there, friends.
Jason Abernathy here with your show,
TV probes the unusual. [Chuckles dryly and clears throat]
And our unusual subject today is Mr. Luther dingle
who, if what actual onlookers say is true,
is the world's... Strongest man. [Clears throat]
Mr. Dingle...
Would you care to give us an example
of this fantastic, er, er... alleged strength of yours?
I'd be ha-happy to.
Is it all right, Mr. O'Toole, if I...
Are you kidding?
Iain't done so much business
since the night they repealed the 18th amendment.
Be my guest, Mr. Dingle.
First, I'd like to start with simple things.
(Abernathy) Wonderful.
[Applause]
[Humming]
[Cheering]
[Whistles, hums, snaps fingers]
Wait a minute, dingle.
Ain't you ever heard of bygones being bygones?
(Man) Tha t's amazing.
[Cheering and applause]
(Man) Bra vo!
Had enough?
Most inferior.
We give him the strength of 300 men
and he uses it for petty exhibition.
Give him 20 or 30 seconds more,
then remove the power.
Excellent idea.
And I think we should be off.
Three planets on tomorrow's itinerary.
One should be particularly interesting...
Contains only females.
And now, ladies,
and now, ladies and gentlemen,
I believe the most unique trick of all
I shall raise this entire building with my bare hands.
What? Raise the building?
He can't do that.
I don't believe it.
[Building rumbling]
[Electronic crackling]
(Man) I don't know.
He seems to have lost it.
(Man) He's a fake, that's what he is.
I feel sorry for him.
Poor little guy,
he's lost his belief.
He's a sad little man, isn't he?
Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
[Laughter]
All right, leave off of poor dingle here.
Everybody out of here.
Come on, beat it.
Ladies and gentlemen,
you have this station's abject apology.
We didn't realize that it was a trick... obviously.
Well, we're off the air.
For good, I think.
So long, Hercules.
Bring that thing out of here.
[Electronic crackling]
(Both tall men) How are you, fellas?
(Both little men) Nice seeing you.
Where are you from?
[Deep voice] Venus. How about you?
Mars. Conducting experiments?
Yeah, and you?
Sudden introduction of strength
to subnormal earthman.
How about you?
Sudden introduction of extreme intelligence.
Find any interesting subjects?
That one over there.
He's referred to as a dingle.
He certainly is sub-physical.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's sub-mental, too.
Looks likely enough.
Give him the intelligence quota ray.
How strong?
Make it about...
Let's see.
Perhaps 500 times more intelligent
than the average human.
[High-pitched beeping]
(Male announcer, TV) Roebuck's read y.
Here's the pitch.
High and outs/de.
He couldn't hit the length of the bat.
I'll lay you five to one he gets on.
Logan? Are you out of your mind?
Hey, hey, dingle.
Whatabout it? What will he do?
Various factors are brought into play here
involving th-th-the laws of probability
interspersed with the process of calculus,
fenaglian laws of chance and the subdivisional grepple
which is based on the position of bodies
in mathematical relationship to other bodies.
Now, in this case, using the two factors
represented by the divisions involved
I think that the batter will unquestionably hit a home run.
A home run by Johnny Logan.
Holy mackerel!
How about that?
Light.
Two to one.
A tremendous blow over the left-field fence.
Now, it appears to me... it is apparent
in a mathematical plan
that the entire quantum theory
of space and time relativity
must have been equated with the parellelian role
of definitive numerical dialectic algebraic
and must be further annotated...
(Narrator) Exit Mr. I uther dingl e,
formerl y vacuum cleaner salesman,
strongest man on earth, and now mental giant.
These la tter powers will likel y be elimina Ted before too long
but Mr. Dingle has an appeal
to extra - terre s trial no te-takers
as well as to frustra Ted and insol vent bet-I osers.
Offhand, I'd sa y tha t he was in
for a grea t deal of extremel y odd per/ods
simpl y because there are so many inhabited planets
who send down observers
and also because, of course, Mr. Dingle lives h/s life
with one foot in his mouth and the other in the twilight zone.
(Male announcer) Rod serl/ng, the crea Tor oftwilight zone
will tell youabout next week's story
after this word from our al terna te sponsor.
And now, Mr. Serling.
Item of consequence: A radio.
A carryover from that other era
when quiz shows went up to only $64
and entertainment was aimed only at the ears.
Mr. Charles beaumont has given us
a most unusual story called stat/c.
We invite you to watch Mr. Dean Jagger
fiddle with a few of these knobs, change a few stations,
and find a couple of programs
that are broadcast only in the twilightzone.
[Eerie music]
(Male announcer) See the new Andy Griffith show each week
over most of these sta t/ons.
Consul t local listings.