1
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:13,714
You're tra vel/ng
through another dimension.

2
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,483
A dimension not onl y of
sightand sound, but of mind.

3
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,085
A journey into a wondrous land

4
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:20,354
whose boundaries
are tha t of ima Gina t/on.

5
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:21,922
Tha t's the signpost up ahead.

6
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:23,891
Your next stop,
the twilight zone.

7
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,754
A honey from hunnicut!

8
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,656
Drive it in good health!

9
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,828
Too much power, eh?

10
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:25,953
We're just looking.

11
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,854
Well, that's what
we want you to do.

12
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:30,490
Nobody pushes you around
here. No, sir, young man.

13
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:34,127
You can pause, exhale, check,
recheck, think, peruse, contemplate,

14
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,030
Wade through, thumb over,
dip into. Be my guest, folks.

15
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:39,232
We were thinking of
maybe a little coupe...

16
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:42,369
Something around $500. But
as late a model as we can.

17
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,137
Late?

18
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,839
You shock me, you know that?

19
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:48,108
You know your husband
shooked me just then?

20
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,276
He was only...

21
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:50,577
Do you know why?

22
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,446
I'll tell you why
you shocked me.

23
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,081
It's because you've succumbed

24
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,583
to the propaganda
of every cement-headed clod

25
00:01:56,717 --> 00:02:01,154
up and down this street.
I said propaganda.

26
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,123
They like to push
the late models,

27
00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:04,256
don't they?

28
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,559
They do, don't they?

29
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,594
You know why they
push the late models?

30
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,696
You think it's because
they're honest,

31
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,532
law-abiding, rigidly moral
churchgoers?

32
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,569
Let me tell you something,
young man. They push,

33
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:16,903
they push the late models

34
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,306
because that is where
the profit margin is.

35
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:21,808
They'll cram those
post-'54s down your gullet

36
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:24,811
because they would rather
make a buck than a friend.

37
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,513
They would rather make a profit

38
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,015
than a relationship.

39
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,884
They would rather cram
their wallets full of cash

40
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:33,553
than fill their hearts
with the fellowship

41
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,088
of men to men.

42
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:36,490
We're really just looking

43
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,158
for a good transportation car,

44
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,626
and we thought the newer...

45
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,229
New? That's where you've
completely gone wrong.

46
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,398
That's where you've
suddenly gone amiss.

47
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:47,367
That's the juncture that's
headed you into a blind alley.

48
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,669
You don't want a new car.

49
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,771
You don't want one
of those rinky-dink,

50
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,906
slapped-together
on an assembly line,

51
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,474
covered with chintzy chrome,

52
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:57,344
fin tails, idiotic names
and no more workmanship

53
00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:59,246
than you can
stick into a thimble.

54
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,949
I'll tell you what you want.

55
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,752
You want the craftsmanship
that comes with age

56
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,789
the dependability
of proven performers

57
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:12,225
the dignity of
traditional transportation.

58
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,061
This is what you want.

59
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,063
A '38 coupe.

60
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,465
It'll get you where
you want to go.

61
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:20,067
It'll get you back.

62
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:25,105
This, as the banner
alread y has procla/med

63
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,773
is Mr. Harvey hunnicut.

64
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,875
An expert on commerce
and con jobs

65
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:32,112
a brash, bright and
larceny-loaded Wheeler and dealer

66
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:34,514
who when the good lord
passed outa consc/ence

67
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:36,917
must ha ve gone
for a beer and missed out.

68
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,653
And these area couple
of other characters.

69
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:41,755
A little old man ina model-a car

70
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,658
but not justany old man
and not justany model -a.

71
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,993
There's something
very spec/al about them.

72
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:50,497
Ina few moments, they'll give
Harvey hunnicut something

73
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,733
tha t he's never
experienced before.

74
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,935
Through the good offices
of a little magic

75
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,636
they will unload on Mr. Hunnicut

76
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,905
the absolute necessity
to tell the truth.

77
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,274
Where they come
from is conjecturable

78
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,844
but as to where they're
heading, this we know,

79
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,780
because all of them and you
are on the threshold

80
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,682
o f the twilight zone.

81
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,488
And did you know that
the original prototype

82
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,223
of this car
was the Mark ii tank?

83
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:19,760
When you go down the freeway,
everybody else, out of the way!

84
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:22,262
Where the gearshift is
used to be the Cannon.

85
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,331
Let's sit down and talk Turkey

86
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:27,534
because this baby is the
one you're going to buy.

87
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,903
The one that you're
going to drive off...

88
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,138
Well, first of all...

89
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,907
Could we look it over a bit?

90
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,443
Look! More than
that. Here, sit in it.

91
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,545
Get the feel of it.
Relish in the luxury.

92
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:42,015
See how they built cars in the
days when cars were really built!

93
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,950
Come on, young fellow. Come on.

94
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,852
You, too, madam.
You sit in it, too.

95
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,989
Park yourself in there and
enjoy it to your heart's content.

96
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,491
Boy, you know what
you really should have

97
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,059
when you sit in a car like this?

98
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:54,995
Candlelight, a bottle
of good wine

99
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,330
because this baby here
has dignity.

100
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,302
Relax for a minute, I'll
be right back.

101
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:08,974
Oh, how do you do.

102
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:10,510
Well, that depends, grandpa.

103
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,978
If you came here to park this

104
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,814
I'll just charge
you nominal rates

105
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,649
but if you're here to sell it

106
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:19,352
you'll have to give me three and
a half minutes for my little laugh.

107
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,390
I'll give you 15 bucks for it.

108
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:25,258
Any junkman will give you 12.

109
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:28,995
The Smithsonian might top
us both by a buck or two.

110
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,832
It's a wonderful old car

111
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,601
and they built them better
in the old days, I think.

112
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:37,604
Ah, grandfather dear that
is the old rhubarb, the saw,

113
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,539
the Turkey everybody
and his brother

114
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,441
is trying to pull
on the open market.

115
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,610
Cars were built better
in the old days, ha!

116
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:46,146
Ten years ago they didn't
know how to build cars.

117
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,114
Now it's the new cars that sell.

118
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,349
Don't mind these.

119
00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:52,252
It's the new cars
that sell and run.

120
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:55,222
It's the new cars that combine
the genius of mind, muscle

121
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,190
and the assembly line.

122
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,125
But I'll tell you
what I'll do for you

123
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,094
because I love your face.

124
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,963
You remind me
of my own grandfather

125
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,998
rest his soul, a man of dignity

126
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:06,867
down through his declining years

127
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,636
until he died rescuing a
capsized boatload of people

128
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:12,072
on the east river. I'll
give you 25 bucks for it.

129
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,640
Probably have to tear it down

130
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:15,508
sell it wheel by
wheel, bolt by bolt

131
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,577
to itinerant junkmen
that come around

132
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,512
but 25 I'll go.

133
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:20,714
$25?

134
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,048
Mm-hm.

135
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,850
I kind of need the money

136
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,152
but couldn't you make it 30?

137
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:27,387
You try me, old friend.

138
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,422
What does that mean?

139
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,825
That means that 25 is going...

140
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,094
That means that 25 is gone!

141
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,262
There we are.

142
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,198
Ten,

143
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,934
20, and 25.

144
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,102
There we are.

145
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,737
Now, I'll tell you what you do.

146
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:45,238
You go in that office there.

147
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,574
You take your car
registration papers...

148
00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:49,609
Hold it, did I say car?

149
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,245
Vehicle, hm.

150
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,414
Now, here, hm.

151
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,135
Comfy?

152
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:47,233
Signed, sealed
and delivered, Mr. Uh...

153
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,368
Hunnicut.

154
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:50,003
Oh, yes, and here are the keys.

155
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,137
Thank you.

156
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,006
Oh, by the way, Mr. Hunnicut.

157
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,874
There is one other small item

158
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,510
I ought to mention
to you about the car.

159
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,245
Do, do.

160
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,247
It's haunted.

161
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,083
Haunted?

162
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,216
You don't say.

163
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,919
Oh, yes, without a doubt.

164
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:09,456
The car is quite haunted.

165
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:10,757
It's been haunted

166
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:12,826
ever since it came off
the assembly line

167
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:14,794
and every single
one of its owners

168
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,262
can attest to this fact.

169
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:17,731
Well, now, I don't suppose

170
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,033
you'd mind telling me
how it's haunted, hm?

171
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,670
You sign right there.
Or how I can UN-haunt it?

172
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:26,039
Oh, you'll find out soon enough.

173
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,574
I will.

174
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,444
As for UN-haunting it

175
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,947
you'll have to sell the car.

176
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:36,883
Well, good day, Mr. Hunnicut.

177
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,485
It's been a real pleasure.

178
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,820
Likewise, likewise.

179
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,857
I think you may find

180
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:47,427
that you have actually gotten
the best of the bargain at that.

181
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:51,331
My ancient friend, you do
me the ultimate injustice.

182
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:54,834
Our little transaction,
haunted or otherwise

183
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,469
was my charity case for the day.

184
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:59,172
You dwell on that, will you?

185
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:00,907
Dwell on it.

186
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,810
No, no, no, Mr. Hunnicut.

187
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:06,980
You dwell on it.

188
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,849
And I rather think you will.

189
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:25,432
Well?

190
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,566
How much is it?

191
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,535
It's not for sale.

192
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:31,171
Why not?

193
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,540
Uh. Well, I don't know.

194
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:35,875
This car we were
just sitting in.

195
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,610
That's the one you were pushing.

196
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,380
Yeah, sure.

197
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:44,317
I, I guess I'm not
pushing it anymore.

198
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:47,821
This is a wreck, it's a rum-dum.

199
00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:53,259
Oh. It hasn't got any
points, it hasn't got any rings

200
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:54,961
it hasn't got any plugs

201
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:59,432
and it'll leak gasoline like it
owns every oil well in Texas.

202
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,968
But the tires

203
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,205
are very bad,
and the chassis's been bent

204
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,808
and if I said anything
about it being a runabout

205
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:12,112
why, I meant it would run
about a block and then stop.

206
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,814
And it'll cost you double
what you pay for it

207
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,850
when you start taking
it in for repairs

208
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:19,219
and you'll start taking
it in for repairs

209
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,955
every third thursda y
of the month.

210
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:25,158
Well, what else have you got?

211
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,693
Oh, what else, well,

212
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,561
well, I'll,

213
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:32,031
I haven't anything else worthwhile
to show you.

214
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:36,336
Everything in this lot should
have been condemned years ago.

215
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,037
I got more lemons
per square foot

216
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,273
than a fruit grower in salinas.

217
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,775
And what you ought to do

218
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:45,578
you ought to hit one
of those reputable places

219
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,848
and get what you pay for,
and something you really like

220
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:53,386
but, uh, you shouldn't
come around here anymore.

221
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,956
Okay.

222
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,091
Thanks.

223
00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,224
Yeah.

224
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,094
Oh, hey,

225
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,767
never mind.

226
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,836
Let's go look
at television sets.

227
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,586
Sorry, I'm la te, boss.

228
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:28,054
I was down at the junkyard

229
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,123
checking on the '34
Chevy wheel discs.

230
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,758
I found four of them.

231
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,794
Hey, what's the action, boss?

232
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:38,464
Hm? Oh, things are a
little quiet around...

233
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,668
Irv, you won't believe what I...

234
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,403
Nah, you won't.

235
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,506
Hey, how about trying
to move that '35 essex?

236
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,840
Move it is right.

237
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:50,043
It won't get anywhere
under its own power.

238
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,611
Knock it down to 55

239
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:54,480
tell everybody it's a
museum piece, last of its kind.

240
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:55,615
And look!

241
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,050
You keep that hood closed.

242
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:58,618
How many times I gotta tell you

243
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,853
when you got an engine
you can't see for rust

244
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:04,023
you don't go advertising the
fact you're trying to job a car

245
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:07,293
that carried French soldiers
to the first battle of the marne.

246
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,096
Now listen, Irv, I...

247
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,335
Want you to put
a sign on the car

248
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:18,938
that says it's for sale
as is, no guarantees

249
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:22,308
and I think you better open up

250
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,011
both sides of the hood
so they can get

251
00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:26,813
a better look a t the eng/ne.

252
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,482
You want to sell it
or keep it for an heirloom?

253
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:30,750
What's the matter?

254
00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:33,987
Do I look all right to you, Irv?

255
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,855
What did you have for dinner?

256
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,156
No, no, this is nuts.

257
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,592
This is power
of suggestion or something.

258
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,494
Hey, that old gleep that sold me

259
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,096
that model-a, a real nutsy.

260
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:44,464
Gave me a song and dance

261
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,765
about a haunted car.

262
00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:48,401
You get that? Haunted car.

263
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:49,936
And I was stupid enough

264
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:51,904
to stand there
and listen to him.

265
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:54,574
What I should have done
was call up the local hatch

266
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:58,745
reserved a rubber room
for him. Ha!

267
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:01,681
Honey, this is your ever-loving.

268
00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:03,916
Now, look, baby about tonight

269
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,219
I'm going to be a little late.

270
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,221
Well, it's inventory time.

271
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:11,224
Look, I told you it
was inventory time.

272
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:14,527
What I'm going to be doing
tonight is I...

273
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:17,797
I'm going to be playing
poker with the boys

274
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:21,768
and when I told you it was
inventory time last month

275
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:23,803
I was playing poker
with the boys then.

276
00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:26,005
You were doing what?

277
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,507
Honey, don't listen to me!

278
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,542
This is nuts,
I'm sick or something.

279
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:32,045
Look, what I'm really
going to be doing tonight

280
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:36,783
is I'm... going to be playing
poker with the boys.

281
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:37,916
What is this?

282
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,352
Am I crazy or something?

283
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,654
I got no control
over what I'm saying.

284
00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,856
I got no control...

285
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,258
I rv.

286
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:47,427
I'm in the midst of a calamity.

287
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,662
That old gleep iwas
telling you about

288
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:52,465
the one who said
that car was haunted.

289
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:53,900
He was right.

290
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,769
Whoever owns that
car has to tell the truth.

291
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:58,404
Hey, Irv, you dig?

292
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,807
Did you ever hear
anything more ghastly?

293
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:03,576
Me, Harvey hunnicut

294
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:07,080
from now on, as long
as I own that car

295
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:10,717
I have to tell the truth.

296
00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:27,400
Well, here are the
signs you wanted, boss.

297
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,901
Yeah.

298
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,771
I've heard of low
pressure before, boss

299
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:34,741
but let's face it.
This is no pressure.

300
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:39,812
Irv, you know my wife
isn't speaking to me.

301
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:42,081
Would that that were
your only worry, boss.

302
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,550
You haven't moved a car
off the lot in three days.

303
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:45,985
I know.

304
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,388
That old lady who came
in yesterday afternoon

305
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,490
to buy that old
auburn. Let's level now.

306
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,292
How do you start a sales
pitch by telling the customer

307
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,128
that if the car
was one year older

308
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:58,831
Moses could have driven it
across the red sea?

309
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:01,100
There's a limit
to honesty, boss!

310
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,970
Irving, I...

311
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:09,275
I used to feel that way myself.

312
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,079
I hate to bother you now, boss

313
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:15,047
but it's that thing
about my raise.

314
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,249
Your raise?

315
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:17,717
Well, it's six months today

316
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,919
I don't want to bug
you, but you promised

317
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:22,088
that in six months
if I'd sold three cars,

318
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:23,423
that you would turn...

319
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,224
Oh. Yeah, well, sure.

320
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:28,027
When I... I...

321
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,229
The day you get
more money out of me,

322
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,632
it'll be below zero
in the fijis.

323
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,634
Every yokel who works here

324
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,670
starts and stops
at the same salary.

325
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,806
I onl y dangle tha t raise
in front of them

326
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,608
justas long as it
takes them to get wise.

327
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:45,645
Irv. Irv.

328
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,214
For you to get
more money out of me

329
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:50,316
would be just about as easy

330
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:54,921
as pouring hot butter
into a wildcat's ear.

331
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,958
Irv, that hurt me
more than it did you.

332
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:00,693
Correc t/on.

333
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:05,031
This is going to hurt you a
lot more than it hurts me.

334
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:44,203
What's your pleasure, sir?

335
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,671
Oh, Luther grimbley here.

336
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,206
Honest Luther grimbley.

337
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:50,343
30 years in politics,
currently up for reelection.

338
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:53,279
Alderman, 13th ward.
You've probably heard of me.

339
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:54,480
Delighted.

340
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,916
Something nice in a model-a?

341
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:58,150
Beautiful, isn't it?

342
00:16:58,284 --> 00:16:59,619
That depends.

343
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,355
If you take 12 aspirin
and shut your eyes tight

344
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,190
you might call it beautiful.

345
00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:06,626
But in the cold
light of day, son,

346
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:07,760
it's a wreck.

347
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,395
What about its condition?

348
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:13,065
Well, let me tell you
one thing...

349
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,434
The block's cracked.

350
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,036
Block cracked?

351
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:18,170
Block cracked.

352
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,172
What else?

353
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:22,208
You can see for yourself.

354
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:25,244
You take a good look
at these tires.

355
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,712
The rubber's shot.

356
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,481
Yeah, sure is.

357
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,316
Might be good for a few years

358
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:31,449
not many, though.

359
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,685
Many?

360
00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:35,788
This car is living
on borrowed time.

361
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:39,592
What... what's she worth?

362
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:44,463
Assuming some clod who
wanted a real bum car

363
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,299
to use for a gag or something

364
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:49,068
maybe, uh, 50 bucks?

365
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:50,336
50 bucks!

366
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,004
All right, maybe 60.

367
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:53,773
Why not 30?

368
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,408
You don't understand, do you?

369
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:58,477
This is a bad car,
you see. It's a lemon.

370
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:02,448
Lemon?

371
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,883
Why you dirty dog, you.

372
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,185
You clever son of a gun.

373
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:08,588
That's the truth.
The absolute truth.

374
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,489
I've seen all kinds of routines

375
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:11,824
all kinds of routines

376
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,993
but you clever
little cookie, you.

377
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:16,462
This is the old
reverse English, isn't it?

378
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,030
The old twister-oo?

379
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:20,032
Why you sharp-shooting, sharpie!

380
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:22,168
You knew iwanted it, didn't you?

381
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:23,569
You little devil you!

382
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:24,971
You knew I wanted it.

383
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,238
I'll tell you what.

384
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:28,174
I'll give you 25 bucks for it.

385
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:31,377
On account of it's good
politics to drive an old car.

386
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:34,313
Makes people think you're
not getting rich off of them.

387
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,382
25 bucks!

388
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,517
How about 22 and a half?

389
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:39,852
Huh?

390
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,954
I didn't notice the
dent in the Fender.

391
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:48,527
I mean $22.50, the
car and no strings.

392
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:51,631
No, uh, strings?

393
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:55,434
You better trot out
the strings, buddy boy.

394
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,103
I want to know what I'm getting.

395
00:18:57,236 --> 00:19:01,841
Well, $22.50, the car
as is, and, uh...

396
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,010
And, uh, what?

397
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,747
Uh, well, uh, the car's haunted.

398
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,515
Haunted?

399
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,018
The car is haunted?

400
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:17,289
So it's haunted.

401
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:20,993
I swear, you're the
cleverest cookie in the...

402
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:24,330
You ought to be in politics.

403
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,564
Haunted?

404
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:26,698
Yes.

405
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,434
How is it haunted?

406
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:37,443
Whoever owns it has
to tell the truth?

407
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:39,178
The whole truth,
and the only way

408
00:19:39,311 --> 00:19:42,248
he can stop telling the
truth is to sell the car.

409
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,588
How about this baby?

410
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:50,856
That's no baby.

411
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,491
That's a great-g ran dfath er.

412
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,261
Hasn't got any transmission,
no rear end, no axle.

413
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:57,396
That one's shot.

414
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,165
That's the goods, is it?

415
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,567
You have to tell
the truth, don't you?

416
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:02,935
That's it.

417
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:05,271
That's the reason for
the song and dance.

418
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:07,506
You have to tell the truth.

419
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,241
Well, what about the model-a?

420
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,111
I mean, in spite of the
fact that it's haunted

421
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:15,381
it's, it's still a swell...
Conversation piece.

422
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:16,782
For some people, maybe

423
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:20,152
but not for old,
honest Luther grimbley.

424
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,354
Buddy boy, I'm in politics.

425
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,590
When you tell me

426
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,259
I got to start telling
the truth all the time

427
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,594
holy Hanna!

428
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,196
You know something?

429
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:33,766
I couldn't make a
single political speech.

430
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:37,703
I couldn't run for office again.

431
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:40,372
Now why don't you sell this car

432
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,675
to boss Ryan over at 12th ward.

433
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:45,544
I'd love to hear him
tell the truth just once.

434
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,913
Or the mayor, the mayor!

435
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,815
Why don't you?

436
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,151
Hey, why not even
to this guy, huh?

437
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,487
Who? This fella?

438
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,789
Say, that's not a bad idea.

439
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,258
If you could get
him to tell the truth

440
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:01,994
that might be the
greatest gag of all time.

441
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:06,966
Yeah.

442
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:10,569
Why not, huh?

443
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,204
Oh, boy!

444
00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:14,006
That would be... [chuckles

445
00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:21,714
Your reasoning seems
valid, Mr. Hunnicut.

446
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:24,083
It's your motives
that we're concerned

447
00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:25,651
don't worry about my motives.

448
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,254
I don't wanna cheat you.
I bought it for 25 bucks

449
00:21:28,387 --> 00:21:32,024
I'm selling for 25. Talk
it over with your boss.

450
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,539
We'll accept your
terms, Mr. Hunnicut.

451
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:48,207
You say $25 American money.

452
00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:49,475
25 American dollars.

453
00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:50,609
I got the papers.

454
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:52,111
Now, this is the bill of sale

455
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:54,513
the transfer of title,
the car registration.

456
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:57,082
Have your boss sign all
three on the dotted lines.

457
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:59,285
I'm empowered to
handle the signatures...

458
00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:02,688
Oh, no. No. The boss has
to sign them, you dig?

459
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,090
The boss, the boss
has to sign them.

460
00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:07,626
A sort of memento
or souvenir, is that it?

461
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,596
Uh, yeah, something like that.

462
00:22:10,729 --> 00:22:13,299
Well, I'll see what I can do.

463
00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:27,446
Here we are.

464
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:29,114
And here is the money.

465
00:22:29,248 --> 00:22:30,316
25 American dollars.

466
00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:31,784
You lucky dog, you.

467
00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,320
You got a million bucks
worth of propaganda here

468
00:22:34,453 --> 00:22:35,788
you know that?

469
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:38,090
All you have to do is
to try to tell your folks

470
00:22:38,224 --> 00:22:39,692
that this is the kind of a car

471
00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:41,660
the average American drives.

472
00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:44,363
You try and tell them that.

473
00:22:44,496 --> 00:22:46,565
These are your
copies, these are mine.

474
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,200
That does it.

475
00:22:48,334 --> 00:22:51,203
Your boss is now the new
owner of this car.

476
00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:53,172
Drive it right off, buddy boy.

477
00:22:53,305 --> 00:22:55,241
You drive it right off.

478
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:00,846
Is this the living end!

479
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:03,816
And I got his
signature right here.

480
00:23:03,949 --> 00:23:06,585
Nikita khrushchev.

481
00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:10,456
Uh, long distance?

482
00:23:10,589 --> 00:23:13,158
Operator, say,
if an American citizen

483
00:23:13,292 --> 00:23:15,794
has something real
important in the way of news...

484
00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:17,496
Uh, well,

485
00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:22,968
I mean if it affects the foreign
policy of the United States

486
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:28,073
well, what I'd really
like to know is, uh,

487
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:32,511
can you get me through
to Jack Kennedy?

488
00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:37,049
Couldn't happen you sa y?

489
00:23:37,182 --> 00:23:39,184
Far-fetched, way out,
til t-of-center?

490
00:23:39,318 --> 00:23:41,720
Possible, but the next time
you buyan automobile

491
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:43,255
if it happens to look

492
00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:45,758
as if it's gone through
the battle of the marne

493
00:23:45,891 --> 00:23:48,961
and the seller is ready to throw
into the bargain one of his arms

494
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:51,563
be part/cularl y careful
in explain/ng to the boss

495
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:53,465
about your
gra ndmo ther's funeral

496
00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:56,702
when you were actuall y a t cha
vez ra vine wa tch/ng the Dodgers.

497
00:23:56,835 --> 00:23:59,138
It'll bea fact that
you're the proud possessor

498
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:00,773
of an instrument of truth

499
00:24:00,906 --> 00:24:03,609
manufactured and distributed
byan exclusive dealer

500
00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:05,411
in the twilight zone.

501
00:24:09,548 --> 00:24:12,751
Rod serling,
orea Tor of the twilight zone

502
00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:14,753
will tell you
about next week's story

503
00:24:14,887 --> 00:24:18,490
after this word
from our al terna te sponsor.

504
00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:20,592
And now, Mr. Serl/ng.

505
00:24:20,726 --> 00:24:23,796
Next week, we bring you a
show called "the invaders"

506
00:24:23,929 --> 00:24:25,831
written by Mr. Richard Matheson.

507
00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:28,567
And in this room you'll
watch miss Agnes moorehead

508
00:24:28,701 --> 00:24:30,669
in a tension-riddled
attempt at escape

509
00:24:30,803 --> 00:24:33,138
from a pair of very
improbable housebreakers.

510
00:24:33,272 --> 00:24:36,408
This one we recommend to
science fiction buffs, fantasy lovers

511
00:24:36,542 --> 00:24:38,911
or to anyone who wants
to grip the edge of his seat

512
00:24:39,044 --> 00:24:42,748
and take a 24-minute trip
into the realm of terror.

513
00:25:27,326 --> 00:25:30,362
Fl please, please
don't be a litterbug fl

514
00:25:30,496 --> 00:25:33,632
fl 'cause every
litter bit hurts. Fl