1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,470
[Eerie music]

2
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,012
(Narrator) You're tra vel/ng
through another dimension.

3
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,681
A dimension not onl y of
sightand sound, but of mind.

4
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,783
A journey into a wondrous land

5
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:20,521
whose boundaries are tha t of ima
Gina t/on. Tha t's the signpost up ahead.

6
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,456
Your next stop,
the twilight zone.

7
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:29,696
[“Jingle bells" plays]

8
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:48,582
[People talking]

9
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:52,085
I told you that Santa
claus should be back by 6:00.

10
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,954
(Boy) Come on, mom, let's go.

11
00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:56,757
[People grumbling]

12
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,975
Hey, you told me to
tell you when it was 6:30.

13
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:17,444
It's 6:30.

14
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:22,416
That's right.

15
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,052
It's exactly 6:30.

16
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,587
So what happens now?

17
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:28,989
You turn into a reindeer?

18
00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:33,360
Would that I could.

19
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:36,029
I'll have another one.

20
00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,198
You owe me for six
drinks and a sandwich.

21
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,700
That's $3.80.

22
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:47,841
[Knocking on window]

23
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:02,155
[Cash register rings]

24
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:19,606
Why do you suppose there
isn't really a Santa claus?

25
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:22,309
Ho w's tha t?

26
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:25,912
Why isn't there
a real Santa claus

27
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,648
for kids like that?

28
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:30,317
What am I supposed to be?
Some kind of philosopher?

29
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,252
You know what your trouble is?

30
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,988
You let that dopey red
suit go to your head.

31
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:36,790
Are you some kind of a nut?

32
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:40,160
Here's your change.

33
00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:42,929
I'll flip you.
Double or nothing.

34
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,965
What do you think
this is, monte Carlo?

35
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,167
Finish your sandwich
and get out of here.

36
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:50,971
I've had enough to eat.

37
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:52,973
[Phone rings]

38
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,545
Hello, Jack's place.

39
00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,946
No, Jack's not here.

40
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,081
This is Bruce.

41
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,449
(Bruce) Wait a minute.

42
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,551
Santa claus, I ca toh
you trying that

43
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,953
one more time I'm going
to break both your arms

44
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,355
up to the shoulder blades.

45
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:11,058
Now, go on, get out of here.

46
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,559
Wha t's tha t?

47
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,295
No, it's just Santa claus
trying to heist the joint.

48
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:19,866
["Jingle bells", slow version]

49
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,402
Thanks a lot, Bruce.

50
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,037
[Coin hits counter]

51
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:47,994
[Car horn honks]

52
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,882
(Girl) Pl ea se, San ta

53
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,251
I wanta carr/age and a doll y,

54
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:13,086
(boy) Please, I want a gun.

55
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,621
And a playhouse.

56
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,390
And a set of
soldiers and a fort.

57
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,626
And oh, please, Santa claus

58
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,128
a job for my daddy.

59
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,696
Please, a big Turkey

60
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,397
for our Christmas dinner.

61
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,333
[Crying]

62
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:29,770
(Narrator, off) This is Mr. Henry
corw/n, normall y unempl 0 yed

63
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,705
who onoea year takes
the lead role

64
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:34,174
in the uniouel ypopular
amer/can institution

65
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:36,176
tha t of a department
store Santa claus

66
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:40,680
ina road company version
of the night before Christmas.

67
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,817
But in just a moment, Mr. Henry
corwin, ersatz Santa claus

68
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,419
will enter a strange
kind of north pole

69
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,389
which is one part the
wondrous spirit of Christmas

70
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,425
and one part the magic
that can only be found

71
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,961
in the twilight zone.

72
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,468
["O come,
all ye faithful" plays]

73
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,007
[Turns train on]

74
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,891
[Turns train off]

75
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:28,461
[Drunken voice] You should
see me with erector sets.

76
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,066
Corwin, you're an hour late!

77
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,334
I am?

78
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:35,936
Now, you get up on your throne

79
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,805
and see if you can keep from
disillusioning a lot of kids

80
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,874
that not only isn't
there a Santa claus

81
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,243
but the one in this store
happens to be a wino

82
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:46,446
who'd be more at home playing
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.

83
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:49,416
Now, get with it, Santa claus!

84
00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:53,019
[People chatting]

85
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:03,930
(Mother) You go ahead.

86
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,165
You climb up on his lap.

87
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,566
Go ahead, he won't hurt you

88
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,068
will you, Santa claus?

89
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:12,172
You won't hurt my
little boy. Go on, tell him!

90
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,673
(Corwin) What's your name?

91
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,542
Percival Smithers.

92
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:18,511
And what do you want
for Christmas, percival?

93
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:20,413
A new front name.

94
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,848
Percy!

95
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,683
I think we have...

96
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,920
[Oro wd gasps]

97
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,255
(Percival) Look, mom!

98
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,756
Santa claus is loaded.

99
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,791
(Mother) Oh! You've
got some nerve,

100
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,426
you ought to be ashamed!

101
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,629
Madam, I am ashamed.

102
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,230
(Mother) Come on, percival.

103
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:38,531
I hope this won't be

104
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:40,634
a traumatic experience for you.

105
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:41,768
Sot!

106
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,336
Is there some trouble here?

107
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:44,804
Yes, there's some trouble.

108
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,873
I shall never trade
in this store again.

109
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,309
You hire your Santa
clauses out of a gutter.

110
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:50,477
Come on, dear.

111
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,545
All right, back to work.

112
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,714
Back to your positions, please.

113
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,487
And now, Mr. Kris kringle
of the lower depths

114
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:03,056
since it is only a few
hours to closing time

115
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,091
it is my distinct
pleasure to tell you

116
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,761
that there is no more
need for your services.

117
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,029
You have had it!

118
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,865
Now, get out here!

119
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,333
I'd be very glad to.

120
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,468
And get that
crummy red suit back

121
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,370
to wherever you rented it from

122
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,606
before you really tie
one on and destroy it.

123
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,374
You drunk!

124
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:23,810
["Jingle bells" keeps playing]

125
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:30,216
Thank you very much, Mr. Dundee.

126
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:33,520
As to my drinking,
this is indefensible

127
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:37,824
and you have
my abject apologies.

128
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:42,429
I find of late that I
have very little choice

129
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:46,833
in the matter
of expressing emotions.

130
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:51,671
I can either drink or I can weep

131
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,773
and drinking is
so much more subtle.

132
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,608
Will you please leave?

133
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:58,378
As for my insubordination
I was not rude

134
00:07:58,511 --> 00:07:59,779
to that woman.

135
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,382
Someone should remind
her that Christmas

136
00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:06,619
is more than barging up and
down department store aisles

137
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:08,822
and pushing people
out of the way.

138
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:09,956
Now, corwin...

139
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,125
Someone has to tell her

140
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:15,729
that Christmas is another
thing, finer than that,

141
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:20,567
richer, finer, truer,

142
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,970
and it should come with Patience

143
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,806
and love,

144
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:30,577
charity, compassion.

145
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,746
That's what
I would have told her

146
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,748
if you'd given me the chance.

147
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,249
Well, how Phil osoph/oal,

148
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:37,450
Mr. Corwin.

149
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,452
Now, perhaps
as your parting word

150
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,688
you can tell us
how we can go about

151
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:44,224
living up to these
wondrous yule standards

152
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,759
which you have so graciously

153
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:47,394
laid down for us.

154
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,527
I don't know

155
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:51,398
how to tell you, Mr. Dundee.

156
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,267
I don't know at all.

157
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,535
All I know is

158
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:59,172
that I'm an aging,
purposeless relic

159
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:00,673
of another time

160
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,977
and I live in a dirty
rooming house

161
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,311
on a street

162
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,048
filled with hungry
kids and shabby people

163
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,382
where the only thing

164
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,217
that comes down the chimney

165
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,351
on Christmas Eve

166
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,820
is more po ver Ty.

167
00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,189
Will you keep your voice down?

168
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,591
(Corwin) Do you know
another reason

169
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,560
why I drink, Mr. Dundee?

170
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,329
So that when I walk
down the tenements

171
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,666
I can really think
it's the north pole

172
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:31,204
and the children are elves
and that I'm really Santa claus

173
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:34,140
bringing them
a bag of wondrous gifts

174
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,677
for all of them.

175
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:41,748
I just wish, Mr. Dundee,
on one Christmas.

176
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:45,085
Onl y one

177
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:48,521
that I could see
some of the hopeless ones

178
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:52,225
and the dreamless ones,

179
00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:54,727
just on one Christmas

180
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:57,197
I'd like to see the meek

181
00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:01,000
inherit the earth.

182
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,371
And that's why
I drink, Mr. Dundee.

183
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,040
[Sniffs]

184
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,275
And that's why I weep.

185
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:14,614
[Solemn music]

186
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:07,634
[Knocking at door]

187
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,402
George, you want another drink?

188
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,437
(Woman) Hey, look.
It's Santa claus!

189
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:12,605
Look. Come on in.

190
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:13,973
Nah, nah. Go on, get lost.

191
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,208
Get out of here.

192
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,110
(Man) Merry
Christmas. [Laughing]

193
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,711
Santa's a lush.

194
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,487
[Sleigh bells ringing]

195
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,898
[Soft Christmas music]

196
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,102
[Sleigh bells ring again]

197
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:21,741
[Cat ho wls]

198
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,010
[Cat growls]

199
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:26,346
[Trash can lid
crashes to ground]

200
00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:34,454
[Sleigh bells ringing]

201
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,326
[Suspense music]

202
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,971
[Soft Christmas music]

203
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,249
H ey, everybody!

204
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,218
Hey, kids!

205
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,387
Merry Christmas, everybody!

206
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,423
Hey, kids! Everybody!

207
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,458
Merry Christmas!

208
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,994
Merry Christmas, everybody!

209
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,163
Merry Christmas!

210
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:27,473
Fl joy to the world fl

211
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:31,144
fl the lord is come fl

212
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:36,482
fl let earth receive her king fl

213
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:43,890
fl let every heart
prepare him room fl

214
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:47,560
fl and heaven and nature sing fl

215
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:50,697
fl and heaven and nature sing fl

216
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,933
fl and heaven... fl

217
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,868
what is going on here?

218
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:59,238
What's the idea of coming
in here and disrupting

219
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,907
the Christmas Eve service?

220
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,443
Sister Florence,
iain't touched a drop

221
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,212
since last Thursday and
that's the gospel truth.

222
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,514
[Men laughing]

223
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:09,916
And I swear to you

224
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,418
on account of I've
seen it with my own eyes.

225
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:15,455
Santa claus is coming down
the street heading this way

226
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,790
and bringing everybody
his heart's desire.

227
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:20,093
There's a real,
honest-to-goodness Santa.

228
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:21,394
[Men shout]

229
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,496
(Corwin) Merry
Christmas, gentlemen.

230
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,499
Now, what'll be your pleasure
for Christmas, gentlemen?

231
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:28,334
How about you, Burt?

232
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:29,602
I fancy a new pipe.

233
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,637
Let's see what I can do for you.

234
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:32,872
Here's your new pipe.

235
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,005
How about you?

236
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,107
I want a sweater.

237
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:36,209
What size?

238
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,244
Who cares what size? [Laughing]

239
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,746
Oh, thank you.

240
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,681
(Burt) Could / ha ve
a smoking jacket?

241
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,616
A smoking jacket
to go with the pipe.

242
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:44,917
I'll see what I can get.

243
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,552
There's your smoking jacket.

244
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,521
Where did you get
all these gifts?

245
00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:49,655
Sister Florence,

246
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,090
don't ask me to explain.

247
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,693
I'm just as much in the
dark as anybody else.

248
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,295
All I know is I've got a
Santa claus bag here

249
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,530
that gives everybody

250
00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,565
exactly what they
want for Christmas

251
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:02,135
and as long as it's
putting out, I'm putting in.

252
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:03,436
[Men laugh]

253
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:08,207
Sister Florence,
how about a new dress?

254
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,209
Give that to sister Florence

255
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:13,079
when she comes back.

256
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:22,488
Thank you.

257
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,524
(Man) A bottle of wine.

258
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:30,329
[Men yelling requests]

259
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,466
Merry Christmas, officer,
merry Christmas.

260
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,634
What's your name?

261
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,436
Henry corwin, or is it?

262
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,739
Maybe it's Santa claus or
kris kringle. I don't know.

263
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:40,907
[Men laugh]

264
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,675
You're drunk, corwin.
Is that it?

265
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,076
Of course I'm drunk.

266
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,379
I'm intoxicated with
the spirit of the yule.

267
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,147
Drunk with the spirit
of the yule.

268
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,350
Intoxicated with the magic and
wonder that is Christmas Eve.

269
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,286
I'm inebriated
with joy and delight.

270
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,354
Yes, officer, I'm drunk.
[Men laugh]

271
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,590
We'll settle this in a hurry.

272
00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:59,659
Have you got a
receipt for this stuff?

273
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,827
Receipt?

274
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,528
Of course you've got a receipt.

275
00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:05,164
Sister Florence

276
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,567
would you please collect
all the stolen goods

277
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,068
and put them over there?

278
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,504
I'll send for them when I
check on who owns them.

279
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:12,638
Come on, Santa.

280
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,340
Be right with you, officer.

281
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,509
Don't worry about
a thing, gentlemen.

282
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,378
There's more
where this came from.

283
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,381
Officer, let me tell you
how this whole thing started.

284
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,517
I was having a glass
down at Jack's place.

285
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,553
It was just about 4:30 in the
afternoon when I got there.

286
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,355
(Corwin) Like I said, officer

287
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,124
I arrived at Jack's
place about 4:30.

288
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:34,827
Between 4:30 and 5:00,
the cocktail hour.

289
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,929
Jack wasn't there but Bruce was.

290
00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,197
I know Bruce, yes.

291
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,465
Right here.

292
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:40,600
(Corwin) After you.

293
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:41,733
I had a sandwich

294
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,102
that I couldn't finish

295
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,337
and I got to talking...

296
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,072
[Mischie vous music]

297
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:50,676
Uh-huh, here he is and here
we are and there that is.

298
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,278
And here you are.

299
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:54,914
How nice to see you
again, Mr. Dundee.

300
00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:56,482
And how nice it will be

301
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:59,452
to see my wistful Saint
Nicholas going up the river.

302
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,888
Do you suppose he can
get as much ten years?

303
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,021
Ten years?

304
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,724
It don't look good, corwin.

305
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,926
Of course, they could
lop off a few months

306
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:09,295
if you tell them where
the rest of the loot was.

307
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,597
He's been giving out
the stuff for two hours.

308
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:12,899
He must have a lot of it.

309
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,500
I'm glad you brought that up.

310
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:17,036
There seems to be a
slight discrepancy here.

311
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:18,938
Listen, you
moth-eaten Robin hood

312
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:21,974
the wholesale theft of thousands
of dollars worth of goods

313
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:23,543
is not a slight discrepancy.

314
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,611
Though I can tell you
right now, corwin

315
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,114
this whole affair comes
as no surprise to me.

316
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:30,583
I'd perceived that
criminal glint in your eyes

317
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,685
the first minute
I'd laid eyes on you...

318
00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:35,054
[Cat meows]

319
00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:36,222
It seems to me

320
00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:37,723
that you've put your finger

321
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,992
on the problem, Mr. Dundee.

322
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:41,460
This bag doesn't know

323
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,496
whether to give
out gifts or garbage.

324
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,464
It was giving out gifts
when I seen it.

325
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:48,034
Whatever they was wanting
corwin was supplying.

326
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:51,037
All kinds of stuff.
Toys, gifts, expensive stuff.

327
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:52,170
Adm/t it, cor win.

328
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:53,673
Oh, I admit it, I admit it.

329
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,142
But it seems to me
the essence of our problem

330
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:58,644
is that we're dealing
with a most unusual bag.

331
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:02,748
My advice to you is to clean
up this mess and get out here.

332
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:06,852
Officer Flaherty, you
call yourself a policeman.

333
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:09,789
Well, I suppose it
is a demanding task

334
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,224
to distinguish between
a bag full of garbage

335
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:15,895
and an inventory of
expensive stolen gifts.

336
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,930
Mr. Dundee, believe me.

337
00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:19,632
It's like corwin says,

338
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,435
we're dealing
with the supernatural here.

339
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:23,736
In other words

340
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,172
all we have to do
is to ask Mr. Corwin

341
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:28,307
to make a little
abracadabra for us

342
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,809
and no sooner said, done.

343
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,644
Well, go ahead, corwin.

344
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:34,280
I fancy a bottle
of cherry Brandy

345
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:35,715
vintage 1903.

346
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:39,018
Oh, that's a good year.

347
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:41,320
And as for you, officer Flaherty

348
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,322
how dare you drag me down here

349
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,224
at the busiest time of the year

350
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,126
to look at a bag
full of garbage?

351
00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:48,761
Mr. Dundee...

352
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:51,297
Pardon me, gentlemen.

353
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,466
Merry Christmas to both of you!

354
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:56,002
[Soft Christmas music]

355
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:05,044
"To Mr. Dundee, from Santa."

356
00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:06,679
Here, Mr. Dundee.

357
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,714
You need one.

358
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,887
Here's beautiful
yellow sweater for you.

359
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,122
(Boy) I wanta toy.

360
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:18,257
I've got a beautiful
toy for you.

361
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,426
(Boy 2) I want an
electric train engine.

362
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:21,661
Diesel or steam?

363
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:22,794
I don't care.

364
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,096
There it is.

365
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,331
(Girl) I want a doll y.

366
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:26,499
A Dolly?

367
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:27,900
A blonde, brunette?

368
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,068
Blonde!

369
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:30,202
Here she is.

370
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,004
I want a toy, please.

371
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:34,273
Oh, I've got one here for you.

372
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:35,675
Right there, sweetheart.

373
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,043
Thank you.

374
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,545
I've got a baseball bat for you

375
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,347
and a toy dog for you.

376
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,815
Thanks.

377
00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:44,383
And a baseball mitt.

378
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:49,088
[Clock chimes]

379
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,424
Merry Christmas to all!

380
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:53,693
[Melancholy music]

381
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:10,009
Nothing for you this Christmas?

382
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:13,012
I think I've had
the nicest Christmas

383
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,314
since the beginning of time.

384
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:16,682
Nothing for you.

385
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:19,952
Nothing for yourself,
not a thing.

386
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,654
You know, I...

387
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:25,191
I can't think
of anything I want.

388
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:29,762
I guess what I've
really wanted is,

389
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,832
to be the biggest
gift giver of all times

390
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,000
and ina way

391
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:39,472
I think I had that tonight.

392
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:42,541
Although, if I had
my choice of any gift,

393
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:45,878
any gift at all,

394
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:49,982
I think I'd wish I could
do this every year.

395
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,917
Tha t'd be some gift

396
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:53,152
wouldn't it, Burt?

397
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:55,421
Oh, it sure would.

398
00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:56,655
God bless you, Burt

399
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,357
and merry Christmas to you.

400
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:00,326
Merry Christmas
to you, too, Santa

401
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:02,895
and thanks for the
smoking jacket and the pipe.

402
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,830
Don't mention it.

403
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,700
[Melancholy Christmas music]

404
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:43,335
[Soft Christmas music]

405
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:06,759
[Shrill voice] You! We've
been waiting quite a while

406
00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:08,260
for you, Santa claus.

407
00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:12,531
Oh, no.

408
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,733
Did you hear what I said?

409
00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:17,503
I said we've been
waiting quite a while

410
00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:19,038
for you, Santa claus.

411
00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,012
[Giggles]

412
00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:29,281
We've got a year of
hard work ahead of us

413
00:22:29,415 --> 00:22:31,383
to get ready for next Christmas.

414
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,118
Come on.

415
00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:35,821
Are you ready?

416
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,623
Oh, yeah.

417
00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:42,895
[Whistles]

418
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,231
[Sleigh bells ringing]

419
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:49,101
[Mischie vous music]

420
00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:51,270
Going home, officer Flaherty?

421
00:22:51,403 --> 00:22:53,339
Going home, Mr. Dundee, and you?

422
00:22:53,472 --> 00:22:55,808
Going home, officer Flaherty.

423
00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:58,911
This is the most
remarkable Christmas Eve

424
00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:00,044
I've ever had.

425
00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:01,881
[Sleigh bells ringing]

426
00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:08,687
[Soft Christmas music]

427
00:23:11,423 --> 00:23:13,225
Flah erty.

428
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,694
I could have sworn that I...

429
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:17,096
Did you see it?

430
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:18,229
I thought I did.

431
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:19,431
What did you see?

432
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:21,400
I don't think I
ought to tell you.

433
00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:23,636
You might report me
for drinking on duty.

434
00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:25,704
Go ahead, what did you see?

435
00:23:25,838 --> 00:23:27,373
It was corwin, Mr. Dundee

436
00:23:27,506 --> 00:23:30,009
big as life in a
sleigh with reindeer

437
00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:31,610
sitting next to an elf

438
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:33,545
and riding up toward the sky.

439
00:23:33,679 --> 00:23:35,447
That's about the size of it

440
00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:39,184
ain't it, Mr. Dundee?

441
00:23:39,318 --> 00:23:43,188
Flaherty, you better
come home with me

442
00:23:43,322 --> 00:23:46,458
and we'll pour out
some hot coffee

443
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:49,295
and we'll pour some Brandy in it

444
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:53,799
and we'll... [softly chuckles]

445
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:55,467
And we'll thank god

446
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:59,505
for miracles, Flaherty.
[Chuckles]

447
00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:03,609
(Narrator) A word to the wise, to
all the children of the 20th century

448
00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:06,312
whether the/r concern be
ped/a tr/cs or ger/a tr/cs

449
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,181
whether they cra wl on hands
and knees and wear diapers

450
00:24:09,315 --> 00:24:11,317
or walk witha cane
and comb the/r beards.

451
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,385
There's a wondrous mag/c
to Christmas

452
00:24:13,519 --> 00:24:16,855
and there'sa spec/al power
reserved for little people.

453
00:24:16,989 --> 00:24:19,625
In short, there's nothing
might/er than the meek.

454
00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:22,728
A merry Christmas
to each and all.

455
00:24:25,264 --> 00:24:28,500
(Male presenter, off) Rod serl/ng,
crea Tor of the twilight zone

456
00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:30,536
will tell you
about next week's story

457
00:24:30,669 --> 00:24:34,206
after this word
from our al terna te sponsor.

458
00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:35,908
And now, Mr. Serl/ng.

459
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:39,578
A traditional, if somewhat stark
and tragic piece of americana

460
00:24:39,712 --> 00:24:40,913
known as the gallows.

461
00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:42,748
And next week
on the twilight zone

462
00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:44,850
we'll watch a young man
mount its steps

463
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:46,685
and then wait during
that eternity

464
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:49,021
that lies between
life and sudden death,

465
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:51,757
for the trapdoor to spring,
his neck to break,

466
00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:54,727
and the elements of his body
to rejoin the vast darkness

467
00:24:54,860 --> 00:24:56,261
of whatever lies beyond.

468
00:24:56,395 --> 00:24:59,565
Our program is called "dust."
Thank you and good night.

469
00:25:30,662 --> 00:25:32,331
This is James arness.

470
00:25:32,464 --> 00:25:35,200
You know, it's onl ya short
hop from the twilight zone

471
00:25:35,334 --> 00:25:36,835
to dodge cityand gunsmoke.

472
00:25:36,969 --> 00:25:39,304
Sa turda y nights
over most of these sta t/ons.

473
00:25:56,755 --> 00:25:57,995
(Male voice) Twilight zone vt 3