[Eerie music]
(Narrator) You're tra vel/ng through another dimension.
A dimension not onl y of sightand sound, but of mind.
A journey into a wondrous land
whose boundaries are tha t of ima Gina t/on.
Tha t's the signpost up ahead.
Your next stop, the twilight zone.
(Woman) "Some time during the morning,
"the rear door of the ant/que shop was jimm/ed open.
"The police surmised that the thief,
"obviously working with an accomplice, [clears throat]
"Entered and began to remove items from the shelves.
"Mr. and Mrs. Jensen j. Brown, the proprietors of the shop,
"listed the following collector's items
"as among the goods stolen,
two vases of the ming dynasty."
I don't know what dynasty they're from,
bit they ain't mings. There are from some rummage sale.
They're worth a half a shuck apiece. [Shattering]
Chester!
Larceny! He's padding that list for his insurance.
How do you like a crook like that?
"An antique silver service for 12,
a Louis xiv candelabra, a queen Anne chest."
A phony lou/s xiv candelabra,
a set of U.S. Navy surplus tableware,
a chest worth maybe $3.50. Tops.
"Three oil paintings by Picasso."
Three posters in frames.
The guy that painted these
thinks a Picasso is a foreign sports car.
"Two teakwood, hand-carved cigarette cases."
Aw, knock it off. Knock it off.
Hey, they forgot this. An antique camera, no less.
Big deal.
Well, fits with the rest of the haul.
Everything else is for nothing.
Figures we get a camera that's for nothing.
(Narrator) A hotel suite that, in this instanoe,
serves as a den of crime.
The afterma th of a ra ther minor event
to be noted ina pol/oe blotter,
an insurance ola/m, perhaps a three-inch box
on page 12 of the evening paper.
Small addenda to be added to the list of the loot. A camera.
A most un/mpos/ng addition
to the flotsam and jetsam that it came with.
Hardly worth mentioning, really, because cameras are cameras.
Some expensive, some purchasable at five-and-dime stores.
But this camera, this one's unusual
because in just a moment, we'll watch it inject itself
into the destinies of three people.
It happens to be a fact that the pictures that it takes
can only be developed in the twilightzone.
(Chester) Big deal.
You know, 20 years ago, you could get one of these
in a drugstore for 39 cents.
I got to pick it up in a heist.
Look at the crummy thing.
No place to put the film in.
No place to even open it.
Huh! Some crazy foreign writing.
This must be the clicker.
Hey, baby, get over there by the window.
Come on, take a pose.
Aha.
[Muffled voice] Say cheese.
Cheese.
[Shutter clicks]
Nothing.
A w, big deal.
The whole haul is worth ma ybe $5.80.
A good fence will give us a buck.
You and your curio shops.
Mycurio shops?
Who cased the place?
Who fingered it?
Who did all the planning?
Listen to miss culture of 1960.
Patron of the arts.
"Never mind hock shops," she says.
"Let's get up in life," she says.
"Let's knock over a curio shop
"on account of curio shops are loaded
with objets d'art worth a fortune."
Two weeks of planning,
one whole night on the heist,
and what have we got for it? 400 pounds of junk.
I could have shot pool for a whole day and made more.
Look, baby, the next time
you get a hot idea on a heist...
[Camera humming]
[Bell rings]
[Suspense music]
Well, how do I look?
Well, isn't that nice,
and so clear, Chet. Can you imagine that?
No flashbulbs or anything.
And look how clear it is.
What's the matter with you?
What's the matter with me?
Get over by the mirror.
What?
Go look at yourself in the mirror.
Are you crazy?
You go ahead and look.
So, what's to see?
Now look at the picture.
So, there iam standing by the window
wearing a... fu r coat?
Chet, what am I doing wearing a fur coat?
I wasn't wearing a fur coat when you took that picture.
I don't even own a fur coat.
I get it.
Camera's strictly for laughs.
Strictly for laughs. It's a gag camera.
What do you mean?
Look. They've already got the pictures developed inside.
The negatives have got pictures on them.
This takes the faces.
What?
Like in a carnival,
when you stand back of that crazy cardboard thing.
You know, fat lady, guy driving a car, sailor. You know.
Well, that's what this is.
Hey, that's not bad. That's pretty clever.
We might as well clear up the rest of this junk.
Let's get at that chest.
Key come with this?
No. You'll have to open it
in your own inimitable style.
Anybody ever tell you
you got a nasty disposition?
That's because I'm married to a nickel -and-dime heister
who can't tell a real diamond from a baseball.
Look, baby doll,
this suite is 28 bucks a day
delivered and paid for
by Mrs. Diedrich's son, Chester,
on profits collected over a potful of years
when you weren't even in the picture.
Matter of fact, I need you
like I need a three- time conviction. Ah!
Hey!
Oh, look.
Oh!
Well, how do you like this?
And don't start giving me
any of that cheap pizzazz
about taking this to any fence.
This belongs to little old Paula.
And don't try to argue with me either.
Well, how do I look?
[Suspense music]
All right, cue me.
What's the matter?
[Taps camera]
What are you doing?
Come on back to bed.
Still with that?
Shut up.
So what do you care?
Want me to let it go by, huh?
So what do you care? So it's a crazy camera.
So it takes dopey pictures that really aren't there.
Yeah, it takes dopey pictures.
Like things that haven't happened yet, but they do happen.
So what's to do, Chet?
One lousy, kooky picture
and you get insomnia.
So it's a camera, that's all.
Here, I'll show you.
[Shutter clicks]
There. See?
Any lightning?
Drop it, why don't you?
Let it go. Forget it.
How can I forget it?
This thing could come from witches or... sorcerers.
It could be loaded with black magic.
And what are you loaded with?
Do you see anything?
Where's the man with the horns
who comes in
with a bargain for the soul?
It's a kooky camera, that's all.
[Camera humming]
[Bell rings]
Well?
[Suspense music]
(Paula) It's my bro ther wood wa rd.
Standing by the door.
Yeah.
That's who it is.
That cheap, no-good brother of yours.
It can't be.
He's in jail. Seven years for breaking and entering,
and that was only a year ago.
Oh, no. No, Chet.
It's throwing us a curve.
Maybe it's somebody
who just looks like woodward.
Nobody looks like woodward.
Look.
Chester, I'm scared.
I'm palpitating.
You and your phony palpitations,
a little palpitating never hurt anybody.
What's there to be scared about?
The thing has obviously gone tilt or something.
Look. Now, look.
Woodward isn't here.
Woodward couldn't possibly be here.
Woodward's not going to be here.
He's serving time.
He's 900 miles away in a cell block.
I don't care what that crazy camera says.
Whoever is in this picture,
it is not woodward.
[Door handle turning]
(Paula) Wood ward.
Hi, Paula. Hi, Chet.
I didn't want to wake you, so I jimmied the door open.
I broke out with another guy.
In a laundry truck.
[Chuckles] That's nice, huh?
I didn't think you'd mind if I stay with you for a few days.
Well, you don't, do you?
I was thinking, if I was around,
you two wouldn't fight so much.
You still all the time fighting?
What's this, Chet?
(Woodward) How do you like that?
There I am, standing by this door,
wearing the clothes I got on.
How about that?
Itell you, science is wonderful.
To be able to take a picture of a...
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
Like, uh, how come?
[Suspense music]
(Paula) I still don't know how we can use it.
(Chester) Strictl y for laughs.
Imagine trying to sell that.
They'd throw you out.
They'd say you're off your rocker
and burn you at the stake.
Hey, maybe we could sell tickets.
Take pictures like at a carny,
and then,
well, maybe we could, uh,
well, you know, like that.
Well, I'm going to lay it on the line.
What are we?
I asked you a question. What are we?
What are we, Chet? We're people.
Yeah, but what kind of people?
We're three small-time heisters.
Well, now we've finally got something
that might do something good for somebody else.
Science could use something like this.
Who?
Science.
We got something here for humanity.
Who?
Humanity.
You got a leak in your attic?
What's humanity ever done for us?
Sure, Paula, sure.
That's what I meant.
Just what you said.
That's the way we are.
Everything for us.
Nothing for anybody else.
I've risen above all that now.
I say, let's give this to the world.
Here, world.
A gift from Chester diedrich and his wife.
And me, too, Chet. Don't forget woodward.
Yeah. And you, too, woodward.
Here, world.
A gift for humanity.
A gesture.
A gesture to show the size of the heart
of Chester diedrich and wife.
And, wood ward,
yeah, tha t's better.
Isn't there something you want to watch on TV?
Oh, yea h.
(Chester) You know, Paula, this could be
a very important scientific discovery.
There's no telling what medical science may do with this.
How can you know...
(Male presenter, TV) A full length,
and hot foot takes it bya length and a half,
Jerry slash second by two, easter babyby two, the rest is strung out.
Results, $24.90 to win, $75.80 and $6.70.
In justa few minutes the second race of the day,
the iOS tendres hand/cap.
Shut that thing off.
Huh? Oh, yeah.
I got it.
I've got it, I've got it.
What is it, Chester?
This thing takes pictures of things that happen
five minutes before they happen,
but they happen!
I'll tell you what we're going to do.
We're going to take a picture of the winning board
at the racetrack. Before the race.
The winning board before the race, get it?
No, I don't get it.
[Sniggers]
Wait a minute.
We take a picture of the winning board,
and then we look at it.
Oh, Chester! [Laughing]
We getting through to you, woodward?
Look, we take a picture of the winning board.
There's nothing on it
because the race hasn't been run yet,
but we got a little camera here
that takes pictures five minutes before they happen.
So the picture has the winning numbers on the board.
We know what horse won.
We know how much he paid.
Now do you get it?
Yeah! Now I get it.
Okay, everybody, get your coats.
Grab one of mine, and be sure to put on a tie.
Okay, Chet.
Let's see now. That was the first race
we can still catch the last six.
Hey, wait a minute.
How much money have we got?
I got a ten and a 20.
That's $30.
I know it's $30.
I got $180.
Woodward, you got money?
Yeah, I got ten.
That gives us 220 bucks.
Is that enough?
We're bound to hit one long shot, maybe two.
We'll parlay this into a million bucks.
We can't lose, Paula! Come on!
Hey, wait a minute, Chet!
Wait a minute.
What about humanity?
What did humanity ever do for us?
Come on!
[Cheerful music]
We got us an idea.
Oh, boy, Chester! Oh, boy!
Look, my ribs aren't hurting your elbow any, are they?
Keep it quiet.
Let me get the shot.
[Shutter clicks]
Okay.
[Camera humming]
[Suspense music]
[Bell rings]
(Chester) Ah-a h-a h.
Well?
Look at it.
There's numbers on it.
(Paula) 6, 3, 11.
(Chester) I ook what? t six pa ys.
$47.60 to win.
Oh, boy, Chester!
Let me see.
Number six, number six,
number six, tidy too.
Okay, boys and girls,
our money goes on tidy too.
Here. You take care of baby.
[Crowd cheers]
(Announcer) Going wide, can't hold the rail.
Tidy too moves into the hole
on the rail and moves fast.
Tidy too. Tidy too.
Come on, number six.
(Announcer) And sir rinos fa I I s ba ck.
Come on, come on, tidy too.
Come on, tidy too.
Come on, horsey!
Tidy too.
Come on, come on.
Come on, tidy too.
[Crowd cheering wildly]
[Shouting and laughing]
(Woodward) We won!
9,500 bucks. Oh! [Laughing]
(Chester) Here we go. Ah!
Chet, go get the money.
Yeah. Be right back.
Watch the camera.
Thank you.
[Cheerful music]
[Bell rings]
[Woodward, chucang]
Open the bag, honey. I've run out of pockets.
Look at the loot. [Laughing wildly]
95 times to win, number four.
90, 91, 92,
93, 94, 95.
(Chester) How soon can you make del/very
on something like that?
No, no, no. Not black.
It's got to be yellow with black upholstery.
Yeah. Wire wheels, dual exhausts,
continental kit. The works.
Right. And how much was it?
$11,000.
(Chester) 11 grand.
No, I'm not backing out.
I'm thinking about whether I want to get two or not.
Okay, you bring the papers around in the morning.
We'll settle the whole deal. Right, no, no, no.
I'll pay cash. Yeah.
[Knock at door]
(Paula) That must be the waiter,
are you finished with your snack, woodward, dear?
Yeah. That'll hold me till dinner.
(Paula) Come in.
I came for the dishes, madam.
Right here.
(Paula) Could you possibly bring us back
a couple bottles of champagne?
Yes, ma'am, I can.
Hey, put that down.
Oh, let him look at it.
Never saw anything like that, eh?
Ma/s non.
Most unusual, sir.
Isn't it, though?
You don't know howunusual.
But what do you do after your ten pictures?
Is there any other way to get more film?
We've only had it a little while.
What did you say?
What about ten pictures?
Well, the inscription reads, "diza la prop/eta/re."
That means, "ten to an owner."
(Pierre) Well, I presume tha t means
you ma y onl y take ten.
So odd.
Yes, you see, the lettering...
Yeah, okay, Pierre.
Don't forget the champagne.
You're going to have to get it for her.
If we want anything else, we'll call you.
Okay, boy. Bye.
Bring tha t thing over here.
How many pictures did we take?
There was one of you.
One of woodward.
How many we take at the track?
Six races.
We've taken eight there's only two left.
Ten. How do we know that's what it means?
Some smart-aleck French waiter
tells us it means ten,
so we figure we've only got two left.
How does he know?
I bet we can take as many as we want.
We don't know. We can't take any chances.
That's right. You know what I think?
I think we ought to sell it.
Who's rattling your cage, ape?
It doesn't belong to you.
You're here on charity.
We're going out to the track tomorrow
and bet two more races.
Are you both crazy?
We got to hang on to it and save it.
No, we don't, we got to sell it.
[Arguing loudly]
[Shutter clicks]
[Suspense music]
You made me waste a picture.
Oh, palpitations!
Palpitations.
Phony palpitations and a stupid brother!
I don't have to take that guff.
All right, all right.
Here, woodward, take a drink.
That's better.
[Camera humming]
[Bell rings]
She's screaming.
Why do you think she's screaming, woodward?
I'll tell you why she's screaming.
Because somebody's trying to do something to her husband.
Some stupid, no-good ex-con
who wants to get that camera and doesn't care how.
(Paula) Don 't!
Don't do it, Chet.
(Woodward) Put that knife away.
(Paula) Chester!
She's screaming in that picture,
because somebody's trying to hurt her brother.
Boys! Woodward!
No, please.
Put it away or I'll take off your skin.
(Both) Agh.
Please, don't.
(Both) Ugh. Ah!
[Shrieks]
[Whimpering] Oh, Chester.
Oh, my.
My husband, woodward. [Sobbing]
I'll die.
There's nothing left for me.
[Sobbing] Nothing.
[Normal voice] However, we must muddle through these things.
We must live with tragedy.
Poor woodward. Poor Chester.
One more picture left.
Ha!
[Humming]
For posterity, boys.
Simply for posterity.
[Shutter clicks]
May you both rest in peace.
[Chuckling and humming]
[Door opening]
What do you want?
Pa rdonnez—moi.
Madame, I understand there is something
in the way of laundry that I should take.
You've got the wrong room.
There's no laundry here, Jack.
In fact, I'm checking out.
So I understand, madame.
Your two friends already checked out. [Chuckles]
Hey! What are you doing?!
I told you I was here to take the laundry.
I'm... how do you say? Cleaning you out.
Cleaning me out?
What do you think I'll be doing
while you do that?
Well, I'll cue you.
I'm going to be calling the cops.
The cops?
Oh, you mean the police?
Madame will forgive me
but, if you call the police,
madame will get herself into... how you say?
One fantastic bind.
Now this here, this is... how you say?
Up for grabs.
Dear lady, I know all about you now.
I have done some checking.
Your husband, your brother and you,
you are wanted.
[Chucang]
Now, as for the police,
iwould advise you to get out while you can.
When they discover
what is down in the courtyard there,
they will be up here sans invitation.
Translation, without invitation.
Uninvited.
You... how you say? You dig?
Hm?
[Sighs]
Now, as to the laundry, this may be back by Thursday.
Or maybe Friday.
Or maybe never. [Chuckles]
But I'm not a hog.
This one, I will leave with you.
Sa cre nom.
There is a picture of the courtyard down below,
but there are more than two bodies.
[Suspense music]
More than two bodies?
[Screams]
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Yes, there are more than two bodies down there.
Just like the picture shows.
One, two, three,
four!
[Screams]
(Narrator) Object kno wn as a camera.
Vintage uncerta/n, origin unknown.
But, for the greedy, thea var/c/ous, the fleet of foot
who can run a four-minute mile
so long as they're chasing a fast buck,
it makes bel/eve that/t's anally, but/t/sn'tatall.
It's a beckon/ng come-on
for a quick walk around the block in the twilight zone.
(Male presenter) Rod serling, crea Tor of the twilight zone,
will tell you about next week's story
after this word from our al terna te sponsor.
And now, Mr. Serl/ng.
This may look to you
like any dismal, dark and dingy alley
that lies skulking off a million myriad
shadow-places off the main drags.
It's the private domain of leprechauns and elves,
and supplies the locale of next week's twilightzone.
With us for a very special occasion is Mr. Art carney,
playing a department store Santa claus,
with the heart, the warmth and the vast talent that is uniquely carney.
On the twilightzone next week, "the night of the meek."
(Male presenter, off) Be sure and see the col ga te-palmolive company's
new comedyshow my sister Eileen
wednesda yn/ght on many of these same sta t/ons.
- - what do you know, somebody's invented a machine