1 00:00:01,876 --> 00:00:03,294 Ke vin: At least once a year, 2 00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:07,715 I like to bring in some of my Kevin's famous chili. 3 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:11,886 The trick is to undercook the onions. 4 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:15,807 Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot. 5 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:18,518 Now, I'm serious about this stuff. 6 00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:23,565 I'm up the night before, pressing garlic and dicing whole tomatoes. 7 00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:26,734 I toast my own ancho chilies. 8 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,445 (Moaning) 9 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:33,032 It's a recipe passed down from Malones for generations. 10 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,617 (Exclaiming) 11 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,245 It's probably the thing I do best. 12 00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:03,605 (Both clearing throat) 13 00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:06,274 Michael: Someone is returning. 14 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,819 He started his own company, and now he's back. 15 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,529 Who could it be? 16 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:15,158 I'll give you a hint. He is a man. 17 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:18,161 A man you have missed with all your heart. 18 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:21,623 A man who has ruined all other men for you. 19 00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:23,625 Who is it? 20 00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:25,877 (Whispering) Who is it? (Whispering) Who is it? 21 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,506 (Banging) 22 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:35,053 It's Michael Scott. 23 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:39,724 Hold up! 24 00:01:39,807 --> 00:01:41,643 Conference room, five minutes. 25 00:01:44,812 --> 00:01:47,398 Well, I guess the first order of business 26 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:50,151 is to welcome back me and Pam and Ryan. 27 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,819 (People clapping) 28 00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:57,784 And how about casual Friday again, huh? Reinstituting casual Friday? 29 00:01:58,743 --> 00:01:59,911 You all look great. 30 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:03,915 What I want to do right now is try something a little different. 31 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,393 I'm going to throw it out there, starting with this meeting. 32 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:10,213 I want you guys to run it. I want you to say whatever you want. 33 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,215 Take it away. Your meeting. 34 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,052 (Stammering) What are you doing? 35 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,763 If there is something that you would like to say as a group, 36 00:02:18,846 --> 00:02:22,058 then by all means, you may say it to me right now. 37 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,434 Okay. Michael: Yes. 38 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,103 People are dressed inappropriately. 39 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:27,939 Take it up with Toby. What I want you to do 40 00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:30,108 is I want you to look inward, 41 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:33,903 and I want you to reflect, and I want you to say something different. 42 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,363 Can you give us a hint? 43 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,950 Michael: When I needed salespeople for my new paper company, 44 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,703 everyone here turned their back on me. 45 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:46,124 Am I going to ask them to beg for forgiveness? No. 46 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:51,379 Am I going to ask for a big, crying apology? No. 47 00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:55,049 (Laughs) Am I going to ask them to slit their wrists for me? No. 48 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:58,970 I just want a tiny, microscopic version of that. 49 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:00,972 Oscar, what were you going to say? 50 00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:03,600 Nothing. I didn't say anything. 51 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,684 All right. 52 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:07,186 Do I still have a job here? Not important. 53 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,813 Michael, she's... okay. 54 00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:10,648 (All murmuring) All right, yes, yes. 55 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,109 She deserves to know. You have a job. 56 00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:16,738 Frankly, you have a job because Ryan and Pam 57 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:19,073 are starting with us as salesmen. 58 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,284 Wait, what? How is that going to work? 59 00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,886 Michael: It's going to work very smoothly 60 00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:24,495 because Pam and Ryan are bringing over 61 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,457 a ton of clients from Michael Scott paper company and... 62 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,167 You mean the clients you stole from us. 63 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,853 Yeah, aren't we getting those clients back? 64 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,670 No, you lost those clients. 65 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,672 I call foul, sir. Okay. 66 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,941 Dwight: You were bought out. They_. 67 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:39,177 So the company, then, bought out all of the stolen clients. 68 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,721 Okay, Dwight, let me explain something to you. 69 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:45,892 I set the rules, and you follow them blindly, okay? 70 00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:48,478 And if you have a problem with that, 71 00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:51,981 then you can talk to our complaint department. 72 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,941 It's a trashcan. 73 00:03:59,947 --> 00:04:01,783 Don't fall in love with me, kid. 74 00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:07,497 (Phyllis chuckling) 75 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,208 (Chuckles) Boscov's at the steamtown mall? 76 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,001 It sure looked good on the mannequin. 77 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:14,253 Vveh, you have good taste. Well, thanks. 78 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:17,548 I sure wish I had more time to talk to my clients, though. 79 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:18,633 What? 80 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:21,737 Isn't that what you said to a bunch of my clients when you were stealing them? 81 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,429 That I didn't have enough time for them? 82 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,056 Oh, I, uh... 83 00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:27,767 Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout. 84 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,854 The man is wearing sandals. 85 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,941 I don't need to see Oscar's toes at work. Gross. 86 00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:37,402 I mean, he looks like he just got off the boat. 87 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,779 Can't you just not look at his feet? 88 00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:41,197 Excuse me? 89 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,367 Oh! You're so educated, aren't you, Toby? 90 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,160 So trained to deal with a hysterical woman! 91 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,162 I don't want to look at his feet! 92 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,872 Do your job! 93 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:53,084 Toby: Well, I was in the seminary for a year and dropped out 94 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:56,003 'cause I wanted to have sex with this girl Kathy. 95 00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:58,172 Followed her back to Scranton, 96 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,341 took the first job I could find in hr. 97 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,469 Later, she divorced me. 98 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:08,641 So, no, iwouldn't say I have a passion for hr. 99 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:13,104 There you are, my friend. Oh. Thanks, man. 100 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,814 (Can opening) 101 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,149 Pamela. 102 00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:18,443 Thanks, Michael. 103 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:25,158 Fresh, hot ink. 104 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,785 Stanley: New file system? 105 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:32,457 Trust me, Stanley, you're going to want to read this memo very carefully. 106 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,418 I am not changing the way I do my files. 107 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,045 No, no! This goes for all of you. 108 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:44,302 Believe me, you are going to want to heat my words. 109 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:47,054 When held over heat, the invisible ink will reveal 110 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:50,141 that everyone should meet at the warehouse immediately. 111 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:53,728 Do not ask me where I got the invisible ink. 112 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,774 Urine. It was urine. 113 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,066 (Chuckles) 114 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,069 (Sighing) 115 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,821 I'm sorry you're offended by my shoes, 116 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,240 but I'm not going to drive home to change. 117 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,659 Okay. I could loan you a pair of socks. 118 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,053 No, they're clean. I was gonna wear them 119 00:06:10,077 --> 00:06:11,677 to volleyball practice. I don't think so. 120 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,080 (Phone ringing) 121 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:15,833 Andrew Bernard. 122 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,044 Okay, what are you still doing at your desk? 123 00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:20,588 What are you still doing not at your desk? 124 00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,090 Did you even read the memo? 125 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,301 All my files are now in reverse alphabetical order... 126 00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:29,597 No, you idiot! There is a code embedded in the memo. 127 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,934 Listen, you need to round up all the salesmen, except for Ryan and Pam, 128 00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:35,645 and get them down to the warehouse, pronto. 129 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:39,148 Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn. 130 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,025 Stop doing rhyming poetry. 131 00:06:41,108 --> 00:06:43,319 Just tell them, please. God, the simplest thing. 132 00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,281 We're in crisis mode here. 133 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,826 Do you understand that two unqualified 134 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,411 so-called salespeople are being favored 135 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,956 because they all failed together? 136 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,934 And frankly, I'm not convinced that Michael and Pam 137 00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,644 didn't have a thing going while they were gone. 138 00:06:58,668 --> 00:06:59,669 Can I address that? 139 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:00,837 No, you're too close. Okay. 140 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,148 Stanley, how do you feel about those two taking your clients? 141 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,299 It's not right. I don't like it. 142 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,717 He doesn't like it. 143 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,387 You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. 144 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:12,390 (Sighing) No offense, Jim. I think she's very pretty. 145 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,225 Her face is okay, but... 146 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:17,061 Jeez, what... what are you doing here? 147 00:07:17,144 --> 00:07:19,706 I don't know. I saw a crowd. Thought there might be a dog fight or... 148 00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:20,982 Get out! 149 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,401 We need to do something. 150 00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:26,571 I'm thinking maybe a coup, or we take Ryan hostage. 151 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:27,697 Those sound too harsh. 152 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,132 No, I'm not saying we do those things. 153 00:07:29,156 --> 00:07:31,158 I'm saying something like those things. 154 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,952 Of course. What is like a hostage? 155 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,287 Excellent question. 156 00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,455 We could write a strongly worded lefief 157 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,957 words will never be enough. 158 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,352 Strongly painted picture. No, pictures are too interpretive. 159 00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,795 Can I just say something? I know that tempers are high. 160 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,022 But I think the best way to handle this 161 00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,686 might be to just talk to Michael directly. 162 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,845 That_ that's a great idea, Jim. 163 00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:52,305 I totally see your point. 164 00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:55,766 Okay, we'll talk to Michael directly, so, uh, meeting is over, I guess. 165 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,494 I'll see everyone upstairs. Great. See you upstairs. 166 00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:58,561 Come on. 167 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:04,692 (Whispering) Listen, now is the time for action. I'm talking... 168 00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,113 (Laughing) That one's great. I know. 169 00:08:09,196 --> 00:08:10,507 Pam: Why are you so mad? Ryan: You look so classy. 170 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,699 Michael: I do? Well... 171 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:12,825 (Pam laughing) 172 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:17,496 Hi, you have a second? Michael Scott paper company only. 173 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,266 Yeah, I think you're gonna wanna cool it with that, 174 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,101 'cause it's starting to upset the other salesmen. 175 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,251 Okay, well... tough. 176 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,170 I will... no. No. 177 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,189 I'll talk to them when they all get back from the bathroom. 178 00:08:26,213 --> 00:08:28,799 This is awkward to talk about, but there may or may not be, 179 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,969 but definitely is, a mutiny forming in the warehouse right now. 180 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,513 Against who? You. 181 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,432 What? Us. 182 00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:38,493 It's gotta be because they all want their clients... 183 00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:40,811 The old Michael Scott might have taken this, 184 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,939 but not the new Michael Scott. 185 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:47,860 They are in for a bitter surprise. I am not to be truffled with. 186 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:52,073 Six weeks ago, none of these people wanted to come with me. 187 00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:55,409 You two were the only ones with the stones to follow. 188 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:56,535 Mmm-hmm. 189 00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:59,372 That was us, right there. Pam: We were something else. 190 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:02,750 What you gotta do is you gotta go down to that warehouse 191 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,461 and you gotta crack some skulls, chiklis style. Michael: Mmm-hmm. 192 00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:07,296 Yeah, the commish. 193 00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:10,091 Yes, but chiklis shield style... okay. 194 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,468 Not commish style. Yeah, yeah. The shield. 195 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,599 It's crazy, what's going on out there today, huh? 196 00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:21,644 (Chuckles) I know. Yeah, it's kinda... 197 00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,938 Sometimes it's best just to stay out of it. 198 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,649 That's true. That's right, yeah. 199 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:28,943 Want to play a game? 200 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:36,909 Hey, gang, where you been? 201 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,412 Lunch. 202 00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:41,664 Where'd you eat? A restaurant. 203 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,124 What did you have, Stanley? 204 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,002 I had a salmon salad with water, no ice. 205 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,563 I was going to get a soda, but the waitress talked me out of it. 206 00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:50,047 Her name was flo. She had black hair. 207 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,173 I had Mexican food. 208 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,457 So since you guys already ate, 209 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:56,262 you won't be eating the stuff that you brought with you for lunch, will you? 210 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:02,977 (Exclaiming) 211 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:06,939 Wow, Stanley, is that egg salad? 212 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,607 Andy brought some salmon. 213 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:09,817 Ryan: That looks great. 214 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,611 Dwight, is that a meat sandwich? 215 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,572 You guys hungry? I can eat. 216 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:17,283 I'm going to have some of this meat sandwich. 217 00:10:18,325 --> 00:10:19,368 It's pony. 218 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,038 Mmm! What kind of sauce is on your salmon? 219 00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,749 (Exclaiming) Andy: Dijonnaise. 220 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:26,875 Michael: Thanks for going out, guys. Pam: Mmm-hmm. 221 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,171 Hey, Meredith, can I talk to you privately for a second? 222 00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,548 About what? Your outfit. 223 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:34,675 What? What's wrong with my outfit? 224 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,512 (Stammering) You might consider pulling it down a touch. 225 00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:41,348 It's riding up a little high. 226 00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,060 Bunch of prudes. You know, Oscar's allowed to wear sandals, 227 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,996 (all gasping) But I'm not allowed to wear open-toed shoes? 228 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,438 Is that how it goes? 229 00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,898 Meredith, your boob is out. 230 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,024 Fine. 231 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,736 Damn it, Meredith, where are your panfies? 232 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,404 It's casual day. 233 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,199 Happy? 234 00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:03,954 (All exclaiming) 235 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,247 Kelly: Toby. Pam: Toby. 236 00:11:05,372 --> 00:11:06,652 (Angela exclaiming) Oscar: Toby? 237 00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,835 No. If you do that, I'm going to do that. 238 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,545 If you do that, I'm going to do that. 239 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,547 If you do this, I'm going to do that. 240 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,425 What if I just do this? 241 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,177 You don't want to do that. 242 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:22,098 I'm just hiding out until all this stuff blows over, 243 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:25,643 with creed, playing chess, at work. 244 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,728 He's winning. 245 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,358 Ifeelhke I'm describing a dream I had. 246 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,735 Ryan: I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bart. 247 00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:38,072 Is there anything I can do to make things better? 248 00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:40,533 (Exclaiming) Give me the phone. Give me the phone. 249 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:43,261 Exactly, if this is your first complaint in 10 years... that's my client. 250 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,263 Things have been generally good. Give me the phone. 251 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:46,473 Tell him Dwight schrute wants to talk to him. 252 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:48,124 Look, Mr. Bart... Dwight: Hi, Mr. Bart! 253 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,268 At these prices, with this service... hey, it's Dwight here! 254 00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:51,770 You're not going to find this anywhere else. 255 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,188 Dwight schrute here. Hey, don't hang up, Mr. Bart. 256 00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,565 No, sir, don't listen... listen, I know times are tough right now, 257 00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:56,775 and I laud your thriftiness. Look, let me... 258 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,384 Ryan, hand the phone over! 259 00:11:58,425 --> 00:11:59,927 Stop flustering me, everybody! 260 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,929 (Dwight grunting) Who let this boy on the phone? 261 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,139 Mr. Bart! 262 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,640 (Grunts) 263 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,827 I cannot believe you lost that account! 264 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,853 He was my client for 10 years! 265 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:12,189 You made him lose the account by screaming at him the entire time! 266 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,357 It's okay, Ryan. 267 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,026 You're a secretary! What do you know? 268 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,070 And you're a temp! And I'm taking your phone. 269 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,030 Pniconfiscafingths! Hey, guys_. 270 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:23,075 You know what I want you to do? Shake hands, get over it. 271 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,706 That was not a shake, Dwight. 272 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:31,083 We want our clients back or we quit, Michael. 273 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,543 Who quits? 274 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,714 And me. Me, too. 275 00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:37,837 You guys gotta be kidding. 276 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,383 No, we gotta be deadly serious. 277 00:12:39,466 --> 00:12:41,093 We'll start our own paper company. 278 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:46,140 The schrute-Bernard-lapin- Vance-Stanley paper company. 279 00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:49,727 I love it! I love this idea, and I fully support you. 280 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:53,272 As a matter of fact, I'm going to give you some seed money. 281 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,691 There you go. There's some seed money for you. 282 00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:57,610 And you can take it, no hard feelings, 283 00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:00,196 but if you stay, I want an apology, 284 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,280 and I want a big one. 285 00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,782 You antusto apologize to you? Yes, I do. 286 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,409 That's completely backwards. 287 00:13:05,492 --> 00:13:06,619 It's frontwards! 288 00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,704 Michael, you thought you were attacking corporate, 289 00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:10,164 but we were the ones who got hurt. 290 00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:11,582 You should be apologizing to us. 291 00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:12,750 All: That's right. 292 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:17,796 Michael, you always said we were a family. Then you went after us. 293 00:13:21,508 --> 00:13:24,011 No matter how I look at this, I am in the wrong. 294 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,933 And I have looked at this thing like 100 different ways, 295 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:32,353 from my point of view, from their point of view, 296 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:39,318 98 others, and bottom line, I am in the wrong. 297 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:40,694 I'm the bad guy. 298 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,740 I need you to arrange a meeting 299 00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:46,533 between me and the sales staff 300 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,827 without Ryan and Pam knowing. 301 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,246 Gasp. 302 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,456 Are you talking about a secret meeting? 303 00:13:52,539 --> 00:13:54,625 (Whispering) Whatever you guys did earlier. 304 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:57,294 I don't know the first thing about secret meetings. 305 00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:00,297 Just do it, okay? Get them there. Get them there. 306 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,661 I'll do the best I can, Michael. 307 00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:02,758 Are you kidding me? 308 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,552 Deceit does not come easy to me. Okay, okay, okay. 309 00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:17,314 Ireahylove youroufin. 310 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,983 Thank you so much for saying that. 311 00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:21,360 I can't believe that Toby thinks this is inappropriate. 312 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,820 You look like j-lo. 313 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,406 So, from the bottom of my heart 314 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:28,158 to the top of my heart, I am sorry. 315 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,827 Are you giving us our clients back? 316 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,288 If we could just focus and go down the line, 317 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,999 and everyone would say, "apology accepted," 318 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:36,583 I think we would all feel better, 319 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:40,462 and then we can break out my gift to you, 320 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,673 complimentary white chocolate bark. 321 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:44,675 Nobody likes that stuff, except for you. 322 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:46,760 They wouldn't make it unless people liked it. 323 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:49,322 Michael, just give us our clients back. That's all we care about. 324 00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,181 Okay, if I give you your clients back, 325 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,350 there won't be enough clients for Pam and Ryan, 326 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,662 and I promised both of them that they were going to be salespeople. 327 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,855 Fine, have your clients. So? 328 00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,524 I can seethafs hat you wanted all along. All: Okay. 329 00:15:00,607 --> 00:15:02,318 Michael: However, I rescind my apology. 330 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,545 Andy: That's fair. Stanley: Absolutely. 331 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,071 You are not reacting at all as I had hoped. 332 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,032 (Machine whirring) 333 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,956 What did I tell you about building forts in my warehouse? 334 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:21,378 Ryan: Michael gave all of our clients back to their old salespeople. 335 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,714 So now there's not enough for both me and Pam to stay on. 336 00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:26,008 Pam: He can only keep one of us as a salesperson now. 337 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,819 He'll make his decision by the end of the day. 338 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:29,303 I think you should get it. 339 00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:31,638 You really grew into it. 340 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,059 I think you should get it. 341 00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:37,561 You've changed a lot, and you'd be good at it. 342 00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:41,106 If you really think that, will you tell that to Michael? 343 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,692 That would go a long way, coming from you. 344 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:44,902 Yeah. 345 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,195 Thanks. 346 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:50,282 So, hey, I want to set you up with my daughter. 347 00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:52,910 Oh, I'm engaged to Pam. 348 00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:53,994 I thought you were gay. 349 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:56,514 (Clicks tongue) Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter? 350 00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:57,956 I don't know. 351 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,583 Jim, could I talk to you for a minute? 352 00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:01,710 Sure, let me just finish this turn. 353 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:06,423 And bingo was his name-o. 354 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,385 Let's go. Challenge. 355 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:11,929 I need your help. 356 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:14,473 This whole Pam-Ryan debate is screwing with my head. 357 00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:17,369 Well, I don't want to be biased, but I am very close to Ryan. You know that. 358 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:18,685 You're close with Pam, too. 359 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,188 Oh. She's nice, I guess. You know what? 360 00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:22,711 Best thing to do, pros and cons list. 361 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:26,527 Pro for Ryan, he went to business school. He's my number-one choice. 362 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,153 Well, that's... I like his hair. 363 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:31,407 Cons, Ryan, he defrauded the company. 364 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,117 Okay. He has never made a sale. 365 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,320 He definitely stole my iPod. 366 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,786 That sounds pretty biased. 367 00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,121 You didn't hear my pros. 368 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,849 Environmentally conscious, 'cause his mom drives him to work every day. 369 00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:42,626 Okay. Pam, pros, I like her. Mmm-hmm. 370 00:16:42,709 --> 00:16:45,879 I think that she is a fast learner. 371 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,673 Cons, she doesn't always follow through. 372 00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:50,050 New York and the whole art school thing. 373 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,135 And Roy. 374 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,761 She has a weird voice. That's not true. 375 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:53,988 I don't need to tell you that. 376 00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:56,515 I think she'd be a really good salesperson. 377 00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:59,309 I don't think you're being totally impartial, though, 378 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,353 because you haven't said one bad thing about Pam. 379 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:02,980 Okay. And I won't. 380 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,190 So be it. Then you've lost credibility, 381 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,860 and I'm going to go with my gut, and that's Ryan. 382 00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,069 Okay. 383 00:17:09,736 --> 00:17:11,905 You're right. Sometimes, when she is tired, 384 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,365 she can be a little bit shrill, 385 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,534 but that's not a weird voice, that's just... 386 00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:17,202 (Exclaiming) 387 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,454 (Laughing) Take it easy. 388 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:21,373 Oh. Man! Wow! 389 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:22,666 (Shrilly) "Honey! 390 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:27,171 "I want you to put the garbage out! 391 00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:29,006 "'Cause I'm not gonna have sex with you 392 00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:30,924 "unless you bring out the garbage!" 393 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,514 I have a very difficult decision to make. 394 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,560 It's like last week I was at the video store. 395 00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:44,855 Do I rent devil wears Prada again 396 00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:47,983 or do I finally get around to seeing Sophie's choice? 397 00:17:48,775 --> 00:17:52,321 It is what you would call a classic difficult decision. 398 00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:56,867 You don't understand clothing, Toby! 399 00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,578 You're dressed like this amorphous blob of khaki. 400 00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:00,972 All right, look, what you've got to understand is 401 00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:02,414 when you come to work, 402 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:07,044 listen up, Flenderson, you're being weak and ineffectual. 403 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,046 I'm cowboying this meeting, okay? 404 00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:11,882 Here are the new rules, okay? Earth tones only. 405 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:14,218 Also, women are forbidden to wear pants. 406 00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,261 All right, come on, sit down, Dwight. 407 00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:17,947 I'm running this meeting. That's debatable. 408 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,014 It's not. Listen... 409 00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:20,891 It's not. Sit down, or I'm writing you up. 410 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,726 Hmm. Where's this guy been? 411 00:18:22,809 --> 00:18:24,186 Casual Fridays are canceled. 412 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,771 What? Let's just not do it anymore. 413 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,574 That's not a solution. No, it is a solution. 414 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:28,928 You're running from the problem. 415 00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:30,835 (All clamoring) There's not a single appropriate outfit 416 00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:33,028 in this whole... except mine, quite honestly. 417 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,822 Pam, could you come in here, please? 418 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,078 Have a seat. 419 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:42,287 Okay. 420 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,914 (Clears throat) 421 00:18:45,832 --> 00:18:47,668 Well, there's no easy way of saying this, 422 00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:52,631 so I think I will just drag it out. 423 00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:57,261 Since the dawn of time, there have been... just tell me. 424 00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,971 I gave Ryan the sales job. 425 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,600 There just weren't enough clients for the two of you. 426 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,227 So I had to... 427 00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:07,312 I'm sorry. Sorry. No, okay, okay, I get it, yeah. 428 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:09,773 (Laughs) 429 00:19:11,858 --> 00:19:13,110 Why are you giggling? 430 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:14,570 (Laughing) 431 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,281 Is this a joke? 432 00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,574 Michael, is this... 433 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,826 Did I get the job? 434 00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,244 Yes. 435 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,620 I did? 436 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:26,373 For real? You're not kidding? I did? 437 00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:28,518 No, you're the best person for the job. You're going to be great. 438 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,544 Okay. Oh, Michael, thank you! 439 00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:33,213 Thank you. Thank you. You will not be sorry. 440 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:38,302 You should have seen your face. Oh. Man! That was classic. 441 00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:39,469 (Laughing) 442 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,763 I really thought I didn't get it. 443 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:42,931 Oh. Really? 444 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,016 Yeah. Man. 445 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,577 That was really good. 'Cause you said I didn't. 446 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,019 That was really good. 447 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,437 What about Ryan? 448 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,814 I don't know. I offered him his temp job back. 449 00:19:50,897 --> 00:19:52,024 We'll see. 450 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:55,694 He was not happy at all when I offered him this job, 451 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,946 and then I told him that he didn't get the job, so... 452 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,782 Yeah, maybe you shouldn't fake-fire people anymore. 453 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,410 I don't appreciate you telling me what to do, 454 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:06,038 so clean out your desk. You are through. 455 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,499 Thanks, Michael. Oh. 456 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,209 What's our receptionist's name? 457 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,336 Erin. 458 00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:13,587 Could you send her in? 459 00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:19,343 Erin, Michael wants to see you. 460 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:21,595 (Exclaiming) 461 00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,349 Hello. Hi. 462 00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:26,558 Have a seat. 463 00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:30,479 This is very difficult to say. 464 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:33,315 But no one here likes you in the office, 465 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,734 and we're going to have to let you go. 466 00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:42,240 Hank, would you come up here, please? Hank is our security guard. 467 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,576 Oh. I can go... he will be ushering you out. 468 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,244 (Laughing) 469 00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:48,664 (Laughing) 470 00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,040 Oh, your face. 471 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:51,291 Oh! 472 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:55,212 Is... do the people... no, I'm kidding. You're not fired. Yet. 473 00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,214 (Laughing) 474 00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:58,691 Do they not like me, though? 475 00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:00,300 I don't know, actually. Okay.