1 00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:06,172 Michael: It's 4:30 in the morning. Do you know where your kids are? 2 00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:10,301 If you are Ryan's parents or Pam's parents or my parents, you do. 3 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:13,138 They're going to be in this Van, with me. 4 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,682 Who am I? Nothing to fear. 5 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:18,852 I am just a 44-year-old guy with a paper route. 6 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,441 Time to make the doughnuts! 7 00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,113 Come on! 8 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:34,409 No, I promise I won't do it again. 9 00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:35,743 Come on. 10 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:40,540 I lied! 11 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:47,755 We've been making 5:00 am. Deliveries for a couple weeks now. 12 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:51,384 Ever since I've gotten clean, there's something about fresh morning air 13 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,761 that just really makes me sick. 14 00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:04,105 Michael: Hello! Time to make the doughnuts! 15 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,775 Oh, Halpert, wow! Boner patrol! 16 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:10,278 Arrest that man! 17 00:01:10,778 --> 00:01:13,072 Your doughnuts make me go nuts! 18 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,284 Hey, Pam. 19 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,786 We got the Van at a used car lot. 20 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:22,624 We think it says "hallelujah church of Scranton" in Korean. 21 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:27,587 It was either this or an old school bus with an owl living in it. 22 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,840 You didn't happen to bring any coffee, did you, Michael? 23 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:31,925 Milk and sugar. 24 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,385 Oh, awesome. You're a lifesaver. 25 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:40,141 Wait, is this just milk and sugar? 26 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,226 That's what I said. 27 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:43,478 Do you drink this every day? 28 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,146 Every morning. 29 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,900 We're... we're doing okay. 30 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:51,694 A couple weeks in, and we're having fun. 31 00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:56,616 Yep, we have 20 of those... 32 00:01:56,699 --> 00:02:00,828 Oh, excuse me! Sorry! Sorry, no, it's... 33 00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,414 It's a paper company now. 34 00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:08,336 It's not for the church. 35 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,279 Okay, who covers Van's pet grooming? 36 00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:37,156 Oh, they're my client. No, they were your client. 37 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,551 They just called and said they were switching over 38 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:39,815 to Michael Scott paper company. 39 00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:42,954 Shame, Jim. I expected more. 40 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:47,125 In the last month, we have lost 10 major clients to Michael Scott. 41 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:49,603 What are we supposed to do? They keep undercutting us on price. 42 00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,522 I don't want to hear excuses. I want to see improvements. 43 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,339 This is unacceptable. 44 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,883 Hey, boss, I'd just like to point out 45 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:59,721 that I have been here less time than these guys. 46 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,931 Why are you telling me this? 47 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,810 I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie. 48 00:03:05,893 --> 00:03:09,022 Is that something you really want to have said? 49 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,443 I don't want to have said that. 50 00:03:14,902 --> 00:03:17,864 But I think it's important that you know it. 51 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:21,326 I don't know what to do to inspire these people, okay? 52 00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,328 Maybe it's my fault. It's not your fault. 53 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,663 Some people just don't want to be inspired. 54 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:30,460 I wrote a memo to all departments asking them to find ways to save money. 55 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,338 But” chades. 56 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,423 I got your memo. Thank you. 57 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:38,676 I want you to know, I'm putting my foot down when it comes to expense reports. 58 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,595 Waste not, want not. 59 00:03:41,929 --> 00:03:43,640 Well said, Angela. 60 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:49,979 Been there, done that. 61 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,444 You know what we need? We need some couches in here. 62 00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:59,530 Michael, we should really consider getting a delivery guy. 63 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:03,034 Oh, know what you would love? Is if we built a loft. 64 00:04:03,951 --> 00:04:05,828 Why would I love that? 65 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,664 Can we afford a delivery guy? 66 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,291 Like in a dorm room, you put your desk underneath, 67 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,044 you have your loft up top, you can sleep up top. 68 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:14,295 Yeah, I know what a loft is. 69 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,130 Most dorm rooms don't even have that. 70 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,507 Most do in the magazines. 71 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:20,134 Let's see what a delivery guy costs. 72 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,097 We should look into that. 73 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,016 Or we just go for the loft. 74 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:30,937 Both: Hi. 75 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:34,482 Could you let Charles know that David is here, please? 76 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,401 Jim, hey. Hey, David. 77 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:39,737 David Wallace! Hello, we've been expecting you, David Wallace. 78 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,090 Charles and I were waiting for you. 79 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,242 There he is! There he is! How was the trip up? 80 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,512 A lot better than a month at the Scranton radisson, I'm sure. 81 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,621 Oh, you know what? It hasn't been that bad. 82 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,475 Hasn't been that bad. These people are the salt of the earth down here. 83 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,711 You couldn't ask for a better way to learn a company. 84 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,338 I feel like I should be thanking you. 85 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,932 The conference room is ready, if we want to get started. 86 00:05:08,015 --> 00:05:10,268 You know, I just want to address everyone first. 87 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,729 Oh, yeah, take your time. Stanley, pay attention. 88 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:13,855 Hi, everyone. 89 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:17,400 Hi. Look, it's no secret... 90 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:23,406 Hello. It is no secret that Michael Scott paper 91 00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:25,467 has siphoned off a large chunk of our core business, 92 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,785 and I'm here, I just want to reassure everyone 93 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,079 that we think this is just a temporary setback. 94 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,164 Right. Okay? 95 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:35,293 Maybe, and I don't know, if you'd just returned Michael's call, 96 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,420 none of us would have lost clients. 97 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,213 I've been wondering that myself lately. 98 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,817 We're just going to get started, we're going to figure this out. 99 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,694 Rest assured. Jim, can you come in with us, please? 100 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,136 Oh, Jim, hold on. 101 00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:47,805 You know, David, Dwight's been my guy, okay? 102 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,307 Yeah, Jim... 103 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,018 Really? I find that extraordinarily surprising. 104 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,978 He shows promise. 105 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:56,606 And Jim, I don't... He's been a disappointment. 106 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:57,791 We'll bring them both in. Okay, great. 107 00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:00,818 Dwight, come on in. Also, Jim. 108 00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,697 Come along, afterthought. 109 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,035 How much can we afford to pay a delivery guy? 110 00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:10,804 Well, if these numbers you gave me are correct... 111 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,330 Michael: They are correct, sir. 112 00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,373 Then you can't afford to pay him anything. 113 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:15,583 Okay. 114 00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:19,086 A lame attempt at humor. Swing and a miss. 115 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,380 Your prices are too low. 116 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,049 Lowest in town. 117 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:26,636 Why do you think staples and dunder Mifflin can't match your prices? 118 00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:27,804 Corporate greed? 119 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,765 Look, our pricing model is fine. I reviewed the numbers myself. 120 00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:33,267 Over time, with enough volume, we become profitable. 121 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,037 Yeah, with a fixed-cost pricing model, that's correct... 122 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,062 Yeah. 123 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,081 But you need to use a variable-cost pricing model. 124 00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:40,942 Okay, sure... right. So... 125 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,820 Why don't you explain what that is, so they can... 126 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:45,923 Just explain what that is. Explain what you think that is. 127 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:46,987 Ty: Okay. Just explain it. 128 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:50,535 As you sell more paper and your company grows, so will your costs. 129 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:55,706 For example, delivery man, health care, business expansion... 130 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,166 Whatever. Yeah, so... 131 00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,211 At these prices, the more paper you sell, the less money you'll make. 132 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:03,089 Our prices are the only thing keeping us in business. 133 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,716 They're actually putting you out of business. 134 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,261 Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on. 135 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,848 Ty, I would like you to crunch those numbers again. 136 00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,201 It's a program. There's no such thing as... 137 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,853 Just crunch them. Just crunch them, please. 138 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,605 Crunch. 139 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,191 Did it help? 140 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,301 Hi, Jerry. Michael Scott. 141 00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:51,345 Well, this is slightly embarrassing. 142 00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:58,102 I'm going to have to ask you to pay me a little bit more money 143 00:07:58,185 --> 00:08:01,063 for that delivery we dropped off yesterday. 144 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:04,275 Yeah, we did. We got the check. 145 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:07,403 But we're just going to need a much, much bigger check. 146 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:12,325 When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, 147 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:16,329 you don't blame the child. He didn't know any better. 148 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:21,459 You blame the 30-year-old woman who got in the passenger seat 149 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:24,921 and said, "drive, kid. Itrust you." 150 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:30,968 Now, would corporate approve a temporary price reduction for returning customers? 151 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,303 God, no. That's stupid. 152 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:33,488 Yeah, it makes us look weak. 153 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,889 I agree. It just... 154 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:39,226 I say we fill Michael's office with bees. My apiarist owes me a favor. 155 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,730 Really? 156 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,231 Does he do good work or... 157 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:47,735 No, Jim, I use a bad apiarist. 158 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,323 David: Fellows, why don't we take a five-minute break? 159 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:56,118 And then we will come back, start fresh, sort this out. 160 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,371 Dwight: Five minutes exactly. Okay. 161 00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:01,707 Charles: Hey, Dwight, can I talk to you? Sure thing. 162 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,919 Hey, I saw you called. 163 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,254 You're just out of business? 164 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,256 We have maybe a month. 165 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,286 I don't know what I'm going to do. 166 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:14,112 Oh, yeah, well, don't worry about it. We'll figure it out. We'll be okay. 167 00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:15,638 That's what Michael said. 168 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,932 Oh, yeah, well, only this time we will be okay. 169 00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,910 Dwight: Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. 170 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,560 That's my new Dwight ring. I like it. 171 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,312 Good, right? Hello? 172 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,898 Idiot, we're starting back up. This is Dwight, by the way. 173 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,274 Oh, okay. 174 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,820 Don't worry about it. 175 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:39,787 Did I ever tell you about the day that Steve Martin died? 176 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,373 Steve Martin's not dead, Michael. I know. 177 00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:46,544 But I always thought that the day that he died would be the worst day of my life. 178 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:48,796 And I was wrong. It's this. 179 00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,307 You want to hear something sad? 180 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,934 I would love that. 181 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:06,355 So Jim and I are getting married, and the wedding's really expensive, 182 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:10,151 so I tried to get a job on the weekends to earn extra money. 183 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:14,655 I applied to Old Navy, target and Walmart. 184 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,783 None of them called me back. 185 00:10:18,325 --> 00:10:20,369 Noteven for an interview. 186 00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,083 I never went to Thailand. 187 00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:28,335 Really? 188 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,463 I went to Fort Lauderdale. 189 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:32,965 Was it nice? 190 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,718 Yeah, it was amazing. 191 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,180 There is a great pad Thai place, though. 192 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,348 I love pad Thai. 193 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,101 You never had pad Thai. 194 00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:49,607 There's a lot I haven't done. 195 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,943 Now, this is a projection of over three months. 196 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,279 We still have the retail... Well, that's assuming that... 197 00:10:55,362 --> 00:10:57,615 Hey, let me float something out there, okay? 198 00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,825 Can I just say... Can I say something? 199 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:04,038 There is a hive of bees outside the front door. 200 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:08,125 We kidnap the queen, extract her alarm pheromones, 201 00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:12,338 place them on a flushable wipe and put that in his bathroom. 202 00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:20,012 I can't believe I'm about to say this, but the cheapest option 203 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,516 is to make Michael an offer. 204 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:28,020 Yes. Yes, I was going to say the same thing. We can buy him out. 205 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:31,232 Oh, but you didn't. Dwight: Oh, man! 206 00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:36,028 If only Michael had children. That's how you really apply the pressure. 207 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,339 What is wrong with you? 208 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:40,950 Jim, you're pretty close with them. You think they'd be up for hearing an offer? 209 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:45,371 Oh, I don't know. You know, they've taken a good deal of clients, so... 210 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:49,667 I mean, I guess I could go down there and try to nudge them in the right direction. 211 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:52,419 You know what? Why don't I do it, okay? 212 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,524 Michael adores me. I'm the man for this job. Charles, you got my back on this? 213 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,174 No. Jim, I think you should go. 214 00:11:57,258 --> 00:12:00,302 Okay. So I'll be back in... Back in a bit. 215 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:06,183 Hey. Can I talk to you guys for a second? 216 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,286 We're not hiring, Jim. Actually here for something else. 217 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,910 Listen, I can't make you laugh right now. 218 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,289 You know I love a good guessing game, 219 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,166 but why don't I just tell you what I'm here for? 220 00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:15,961 Turns out you guys have made a pretty big dent in the dunder Mifflin sales. 221 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:16,986 Oh, that's nice. 222 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:19,155 David Wallace has asked me to come down here, 223 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:23,200 and see if you would be interested in dunder Mifflin buying you out. 224 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:24,618 Seriously? 225 00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:27,246 Are you being serious? He's bluffing, Pam. 226 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:29,769 Jim, what you don't understand is that this company's worth... 227 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,293 We don't have... 228 00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:35,379 See, I'm here to learn as little information as possible. 229 00:12:35,462 --> 00:12:39,884 All I really need to hear is if your incredibly successful company 230 00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:42,303 would be receptive to a buyout. 231 00:12:47,474 --> 00:12:48,601 Yes. Yes. 232 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:49,727 Maybe. Three yeses. 233 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,730 I will see you titans of industry upstairs. 234 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:56,317 Yes, well, we are not only tight ends, we are also quarterbacks. 235 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,735 I missed the last part. 236 00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:58,903 That's a pun. Got it. 237 00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:00,112 Michael: Yep. 238 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,951 Oh, wow. 239 00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:10,372 Okay, so you're not going to reveal in any way that we're broke? 240 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,456 Of course not. 241 00:13:11,498 --> 00:13:13,083 That we're having anypmbmmsatmt nope. 242 00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:17,129 Right, just to reiterate, none of us is going to say anything 243 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:18,607 that might indicate we are going broke. 244 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:23,344 Right, right, there is no way in hell that I am going to say that we're broke. 245 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,599 Oh, I'm really worried I'm going to say it. 246 00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:30,100 No, Michael. 247 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,268 No, man. 248 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,394 You're... you're fine. 249 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,122 We have to come from a position of strength. 250 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,565 Yeah, just put it out of your mind. Michael: It is. 251 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,858 I'm good. 252 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,614 Hello. Hi. 253 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,283 Michael Scott paper company to see Mr. David Wallace. 254 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,369 Ibeheve we're expected. 255 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:56,710 Well, well, well, how the turntables... 256 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:07,763 Michael, in order to expedite these negotiations, 257 00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:09,890 we are prepared to make you a very generous offer. 258 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,768 And we are prepared to reject that offer. 259 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:14,454 Michael, you haven't even heard... 260 00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,118 Never accept their first offer. 261 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,440 What is your second offer? 262 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,067 $12,000. 263 00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,696 Are you kidding me? That is insultingly low. 264 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,782 I don't even want to hear what your first offer was. 265 00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,450 What do you hear? 266 00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:34,415 Here's the situation. Your company is four weeks old. 267 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,738 I know this business. I know what suppliers are charging. 268 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,169 I know you can't be making very much money. 269 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:43,757 I don't know how your prices are so low. But I know it can't keep up that way. 270 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:47,094 I'm sure you're scared, probably in debt. 271 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,471 That's the best offer you're going to get. 272 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,474 I'll see your situation, and I'll raise you a situation. 273 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,561 Your company is losing clients left and right. 274 00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:59,732 You have a stockholder meeting coming up and you're going to have to explain to them 275 00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:03,569 why your most profitable branch is bleeding. 276 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,364 So they may be looking for a little change in the cfo. 277 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,384 So I don't think I need to wait out dunder Mifflin. 278 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,952 I think I just have to wait out you. 279 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:19,752 Okay, now, I don't know that I can get this. I do have to go to the board for approval. 280 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:24,006 How's about $60,000? 281 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,220 $60,000. 282 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,473 Michael? 283 00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:38,771 We're going to have to talk about this. Just amongst ourselves. 284 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,315 Okay, done. Please, take the room. 285 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:44,276 We're outside. Take your time. 286 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:51,408 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. $60,000? 287 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,369 We are so rich. 288 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,578 Are you kidding me? 289 00:15:54,661 --> 00:15:57,664 Well, Jerry, the one who got away. 290 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:03,253 May I ask why you're leaving the Michael Scott paper company? 291 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:06,507 Really? 292 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:09,968 Please hold. 293 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:17,935 Charles... Dwight. 294 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,561 May I have your attention? 295 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,814 The Michael Scott paper company is broke. 296 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,774 What? How'd you hear that? 297 00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:26,944 They've been calling all their clients and begging them to pay more money. 298 00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,546 That can only mean one thing. They're desperate. 299 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:32,074 Which can only mean one thing. They are total failures. 300 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,575 Great work, Dwight. Quiet, you. 301 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:34,761 No, I mean, great detective work, 302 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,971 'cause this must be the first case you've ever cracked, right? 303 00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:39,790 You don't "crack a case." That has a pejorative connotation. 304 00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,458 It's like calling a policeman a cop. 305 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,044 You solve a case, and, yes, I've solved plenty. 306 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,004 So, how long can they stay viable? 307 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,965 What are your top five cases? 308 00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:49,150 I'm going to answer Charles first. 309 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,235 Because he's solved zero cases. 310 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:53,429 Okay, one, case of the beet bandit. 311 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,597 Missing beets from all over the farm, no footprints. 312 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:59,518 Inside job, mose in socks. Boom, case closed. 313 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:02,813 Okay, do not go anywhere near the conference room. 314 00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:03,897 Done. 315 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:07,401 Because you have embarrassed me for the last time today. 316 00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:09,111 Got it? I'm not following you. 317 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,487 You two are morons. 318 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:11,780 Got it. 319 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:13,824 Get out. 320 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,414 David: So, you've thought it over, yes? And you accept our offer? 321 00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:23,500 We can finally put this whole thing behind us? 322 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,301 Can you give us another minute, please? 323 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,386 Yeah. 324 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:36,763 Okay. 325 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,585 Pam: Michael... how could you do this to me, Michael? 326 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,360 You just cost me $60,000. 327 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,005 Why are you assuming you'd get the whole thing? 328 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,491 It's a lot of money, okay? But we need money coming in every week. 329 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,034 We need jobs. 330 00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,496 Wouldn't you rather have a fishing pole than a fish? 331 00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:03,624 I would rather have $60,000, honestly. 332 00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,668 No, Michael's right. Jobs are safer. 333 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:09,838 Agreed? 334 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,422 Yeah. Agreed. 335 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,300 But that's all, okay? 336 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,719 Ryan: Yeah, discuss these things... 337 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,221 Hello? 338 00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:20,724 I want my old job back, I want my old parking space back, 339 00:18:20,807 --> 00:18:21,975 I want a sebring... 340 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:24,019 I can... they don't make them anymore. 341 00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:26,063 And I want Charles gone. 342 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,750 I'm not firing Charles. He's very valuable. 343 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,001 That's very kind of you to say, David. 344 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:31,068 I need him gone. 345 00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:34,029 Okay, then I want Pam back. 346 00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:35,906 You already have a new receptionist. 347 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:37,157 Sales. 348 00:18:37,824 --> 00:18:38,825 Thank you. 349 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:39,910 Pam's not a salesperson. 350 00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:44,456 Yes, she is, at the Michael Scott paper company in its heyday. 351 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,333 Okay. That's right. 352 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,378 Please continue. And Ryan. 353 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,673 Ryan cost dunder Mifflin hundreds of thousands of dollars, Michael. 354 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:53,816 Ryan_. Michael: You know... 355 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,927 David, I don't care if Ryan murdered his entire family. 356 00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,136 He is like a son to me. 357 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,097 Do you realize what you're asking for here? 358 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,933 You're talking about salary, plus health benefits... 359 00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:04,434 And dental this time. 360 00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,979 Insurance, taxes, social security for three people? 361 00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,772 This is a heck of a lot more than 60 grand. 362 00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:10,625 You're talking about a multi-million dollar buyout. 363 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,109 These are our demands. 364 00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,194 Your company cannot be worth that much. 365 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,530 Our company is worth nothing. 366 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:18,907 That's the difference between you and I. 367 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,702 Business isn't about money to me, David. 368 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:25,872 If tomorrow my company goes under, I will just start another paper company, 369 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:28,584 and then another and another and another. 370 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,377 I have no shortage of company names. 371 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,296 Michael... that's one of them. 372 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:36,216 Yes. These are our demands. This is what we want. 373 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,095 Our balls are in your court. 374 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,522 Okay, deal. 375 00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:53,734 Okay? 376 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,695 Can we have the room, please? 377 00:19:57,904 --> 00:19:59,031 Yeah. 378 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,426 Michael: Can you believe it? 379 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,637 Yes! Yes! Yes! Pam: Oh, my god! 380 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,389 That's what I'm talking about! 381 00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,936 Michael: There are certain defining moments in a person's life. 382 00:20:30,228 --> 00:20:34,441 The day he's born, the day he grows hair, the day he starts a business, 383 00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:38,278 and the day he sells that business back to dunder Mifflin. 384 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,823 What have I learned from all of this? 385 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,326 It is far too early to tell. 386 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:48,497 I just know that I am flying high, and I don't even want to think about it. 387 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,040 I just want to enjoy it. 388 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,584 Hey, guys_. No.No, youtedone.