1
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:04,879
(Michael exclaims)

2
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,134
Things are a little slow here.

3
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:10,969
And there's only
so much cold-calling

4
00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:12,762
you can do in a day.

5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,865
Turns out there's no limit
to the number of cheese puffs

6
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,516
you can throw at someone's face.

7
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:17,725
(Michael exclaims)

8
00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,604
We're getting pretty good at it.

9
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,327
(A cappella group humming)

10
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,583
Jim: Andy put down
a bunch of deposits

11
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,102
on stuff for his
wedding with Angela,

12
00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:28,129
but then she was
sleeping with Dwight for...

13
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,507
Several years. Wait,
no, that can't be right.

14
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,550
No, timeline's messy.

15
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,844
Anyway, now we are
going bargain hunting

16
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,596
in the haunted graveyard
of their love.

17
00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:40,308
This is my solo.

18
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,645
(Singing increases in pitch)

19
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,855
(Andy humming)

20
00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,197
(Stops music)

21
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,740
I'm confused.

22
00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:59,077
Am I walking down the aisle
to you can call me ai?

23
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,664
Trust me, you will not be
walking, you will be boogying.

24
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:06,501
I am extremely interested, so
how much will all of this cost?

25
00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,254
Well, 12 guys, airfare,
three nights in hotel,

26
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:12,590
food per diem, table
upfront for merch...

27
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,009
$9,000.

28
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:19,055
I don't know, it seems like
a lot for an a cappella group

29
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:21,182
from a college we never went to.

30
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:24,477
Did you even hear the music
I just played for you?

31
00:02:30,858 --> 00:02:32,735
What's wrong with you?

32
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:34,946
These sleeves are
cutting off my circulation.

33
00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:36,789
There's not enough blood
getting to my hands.

34
00:02:36,864 --> 00:02:38,241
I think you look nice.

35
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,994
Doesn't Charles know he's
compromising my attack readiness?

36
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:44,080
It's not a dress code.
It's a death sentence.

37
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:45,205
Looking good.

38
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,499
Okay, thank you.

39
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,379
It's a straightjacket! Okay.

40
00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:57,051
When Michael was in charge, this
place was like the Roman empire.

41
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,928
And the wild west.

42
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,389
And war-torn Poland.

43
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,182
And Poland.

44
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,144
There was just a lot going on.

45
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,814
So what you wore to work was
the least of anybody's worries.

46
00:03:09,897 --> 00:03:12,275
And in that chaos, I soared.

47
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:16,821
Hey. Hey.

48
00:03:16,904 --> 00:03:19,032
Ed's tires. He's thinking
of making a change.

49
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,158
Is this good?

50
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,160
They have some
great kitchen ideas.

51
00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:24,120
Okay, Ed's tires, huh?

52
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,456
It's small, I know.

53
00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,043
I really appreciate it.

54
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,420
Thanks, Michael, we...
What is this?

55
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,921
It's for your trouble.

56
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,840
I don't need $6
to help a friend.

57
00:03:35,923 --> 00:03:37,967
No, no, listen, as a friend,

58
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:39,903
I want you to have it.
You know I can't take this.

59
00:03:39,927 --> 00:03:41,262
Yes, I do.

60
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,389
But don't forget,
you owe me $10.

61
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,515
That was four years ago.

62
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,101
Why don't you let it go?
Michael.

63
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:50,021
What was up with Pam being
all pushy and negative in there?

64
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,273
I think she just didn't
want a crucifix cake.

65
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,234
It scares me to see you going
down a road that I went down.

66
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,361
Am I going down a road?

67
00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:58,863
When I see her bossing
you around like that,

68
00:03:58,946 --> 00:04:03,951
it just makes me wonder if
this thing really has the legs

69
00:04:04,952 --> 00:04:06,663
to go the distance.

70
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:10,708
It's so scary how right
the things you're saying are.

71
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,711
And you're coming at it
with almost no knowledge,

72
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:16,255
so of course I trust
your opinion on this.

73
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,633
I know a few things about love.

74
00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:23,221
Horrible, terrible,
awful, awful things.

75
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,474
I was gonna use today
to purge my inbox,

76
00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:29,727
but now something much
more pressing has come up.

77
00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:34,565
Ed's tires. Why don't you tell
them that we have fewer clients,

78
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:37,568
so that we can spend
more time with each of them?

79
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,822
Also, try to discuss
it over Indian food,

80
00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:43,741
and try to mention
how you distrust women.

81
00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:45,159
I'm not gonna do that.

82
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:48,246
That is smart. That would
not seem genuine. Ryan?

83
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:49,329
I can get there.

84
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:50,683
Good. You take
the lead on this one.

85
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:54,252
Also, do not forget that he has
just gone through a messy divorce.

86
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,335
Awesome.

87
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,921
Bring it in. Morning cheer.

88
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,258
(Clears throat)

89
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:06,973
U-g-I-y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly.
U-g-I-y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly.

90
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,910
You ugly! Your mama say you ugly, hey!
You ugly! Your mama say you ugly, hey!

91
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:13,938
Go Michael Scott paper company!
Go Michael Scott paper company!

92
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,817
I'm here. I'm part of this now.

93
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,276
You needed to speak to me?

94
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,989
Dwight, take a seat.

95
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,366
I prefer to stand.
Less blood clots.

96
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,952
No, that's weird.
You can just sit.

97
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:33,916
Great. You know, Dwight, it has
been quite a transition for all of us.

98
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,211
Are you happy with the way
things have been running lately?

99
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,463
Why do you ask? Do you mean

100
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,441
compared to the way things
ran with other bosses?

101
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,466
Comparisons are hard.

102
00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,360
I've just been impressed
with your performance,

103
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:46,429
and I wanted to make sure
good work doesn't go unnoticed.

104
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,680
Your concern is noted.

105
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,390
Yeah, I like your work ethic.

106
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,517
You're so focused.

107
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,810
Like a wolf, thank you.

108
00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:56,481
I want to start giving
you more responsibility.

109
00:05:56,564 --> 00:06:00,067
What do you say you and I
go out for a drink this week?

110
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,487
Really? Definitely.

111
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,866
It's firm.

112
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,621
I need you to get me the prices
that you're charging Ed's tires,

113
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,706
so I can undercut
dunder Mifflin.

114
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,000
Dwight: I don't know that
I can do that now.

115
00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:17,710
You know, something's come up.

116
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,420
Oh, no, is it mose?

117
00:06:20,087 --> 00:06:21,631
Did you put
the cover on that well?

118
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,674
No, mose is fine.
I roped it off.

119
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,677
It's not about mose. Listen,
things are changing here.

120
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,679
Michael, they're changing fast.

121
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,097
I'm not following you.

122
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:36,354
Imagine someone has a personal
hero they really want to help.

123
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,190
But then there's this new guy.

124
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:43,277
Very cool,
very will Smith-esque,

125
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:46,531
who would not like it
if he helped his hero.

126
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,407
Personal hero, cool new guy.

127
00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:51,035
Okay, I think I'm
getting your drift.

128
00:06:51,118 --> 00:06:52,703
Good, so you see
what I'm saying.

129
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,330
Crystal clear.

130
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,083
So is this for a movie
that you're writing? No.

131
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,251
Michael: Can I use it?

132
00:07:09,136 --> 00:07:10,680
Dwight, are you
talking about us?

133
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,266
It is possible that I
could be talking about us.

134
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:17,812
Someone could say it is like
the situation that we are in now.

135
00:07:18,145 --> 00:07:20,565
It is the situation
we're in now.

136
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,693
So I would say that the old boss

137
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,903
has always been good to Dwight,

138
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,990
and he was there first,
so he has dibs.

139
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,908
You respect dibs, don't you?

140
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,535
I'm not a barbarian.

141
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:33,911
Good.

142
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,706
Will you meet me in
20 minutes at the spot?

143
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:37,832
I will.

144
00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:39,375
Dwight? Yes?

145
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,253
Is the cool new guy Charles?

146
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,671
I've said too much.

147
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:45,256
Is it Stanley?

148
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,174
Hey, Andy.

149
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:49,278
You know, I've been thinking
about what you said...

150
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,220
Nice. I just don't
know if I can do it.

151
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,264
That's interesting, because
what I hear you saying

152
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,682
is that you do want to do it,

153
00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:56,350
which means you can do it.

154
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,144
Believe me,
I broke up with Angela,

155
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:00,855
and I'm, like,
the happiest guy ever.

156
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:05,443
I mean, I'm so happy.
I'm so happy!

157
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,361
Like, total freedom, you know?

158
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:09,906
It's just that Pam gets me
through the day, you know?

159
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,908
I really rely on her.

160
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,284
I'm pretty emotionally needy.

161
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,202
And you know what?

162
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,663
I am here for you.

163
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,667
Let me be your traveling pants.

164
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:25,880
(Blowing air)

165
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:27,298
What'd you do that for?

166
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:28,382
(Both chuckling)

167
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,926
You know what I was doing. Okay.

168
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,302
Totally.

169
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:35,389
Dwight? What's with the shirt?

170
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,310
Are you all right?

171
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:40,686
I'm sorry, Michael.

172
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,647
Hi, Michael. Oh, my
god, run, run! It's a setup!

173
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,023
It's a setup! Dwight, run!

174
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,316
No, Michael. Michael, no.

175
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,443
Let's be cool, okay?
You be cool!

176
00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:48,569
Yes.

177
00:08:49,236 --> 00:08:50,488
Just... what's going on?

178
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:54,408
We need to talk about our two
companies and how we should behave.

179
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:58,204
Dwight tells me you've been
pestering him for company info.

180
00:09:00,247 --> 00:09:01,666
Dwight would not... he did.

181
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:04,460
I did, Michael. I was upset
about the shirtsleeves at first,

182
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:05,544
but now I'm okay with it.

183
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,672
Michael, I want you to stop
pestering my salesman

184
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:11,759
and I want you to leave dunder
Mifflin alone. Do you understand?

185
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,805
I understand nothing.

186
00:09:20,267 --> 00:09:21,394
Wow.

187
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,187
Wow. Michael, are you all right?

188
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,522
It was a setup.

189
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,440
Dwight told Charles.
He told him.

190
00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:27,626
Tell us what
you're talking about.

191
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,360
Yeah.

192
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:32,446
It's like a girl says
she'll make out with you,

193
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:37,410
but then her boyfriend is waiting around
the corner with a pee-filled balloon.

194
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,996
We can't help you if you don't
just tell us what happened.

195
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:43,708
I got hit in the face with a
pee-filled water balloon, Pam, okay?

196
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:44,959
I don't know how they did it.

197
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:47,545
They filled the balloon
with pee. A funnel.

198
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,297
I don't know! Is that
clear enough for you?

199
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:54,635
Andy: Hey, Jim.

200
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,596
I just totally
blew a sales call.

201
00:09:58,514 --> 00:09:59,890
Bro, I do that all the time.

202
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,726
Yeah, well, with you
it's different, okay?

203
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,394
'Cause I just...

204
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:05,896
I just suck. I just... I suck!

205
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,399
Tuna? Be nice to
my friend Jim, okay?

206
00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:12,278
When I look in the mirror, I
don't like the face that looks back.

207
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,905
Well, so what? Your body's a 10.

208
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,407
Just forget it. Jim!

209
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,159
I said forget it!

210
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:25,666
(Telephone ringing)

211
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,168
Dwight schrute.

212
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,502
Hello, traitor.

213
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,089
I think you have the
wrong number, Michael.

214
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:35,051
I want you to
listen to me, friend,

215
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,845
and I want you to
listen to me good.

216
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:43,517
I am going to come at you, and
I'm going to come at you hard.

217
00:10:44,351 --> 00:10:47,104
I am going to steal
all of your clients,

218
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,648
and then I am going to
kill them in front of you.

219
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,609
Michael! Just getting
hardcore with him.

220
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:52,735
Finally.

221
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,862
Yes. And hear me, Dwight,

222
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:59,200
when I say I brought you into
this world, and I can take you out.

223
00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:00,701
Bill cosby.

224
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,456
Mr. Schofield, please.
Woman: He's in a meeting.

225
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:06,624
Damn it!

226
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,792
Is Mr. Schofield there?

227
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,675
Woman: If you'd like to
reach an outside line,

228
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,545
please dial 9 first. Shoot

229
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:14,965
so, you think Michael's
going after the whale, huh?

230
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,301
I have a long relationship
with harpercollins publishers

231
00:11:17,384 --> 00:11:18,511
and Mr. Schofield.

232
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:19,637
I'm not worried.

233
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,805
You sound worried.

234
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,223
And you have bad skin.

235
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:25,101
Look, everyone, we're
all making observations!

236
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,393
(Exclaiming)

237
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,707
Well, if you could do me a
big favor and tell Mr. Schofield

238
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:32,691
that Michael Scott
has tickets to the

239
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,486
wilkes-barre penguins
game this weekend,

240
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:38,030
and if he would
like to join me...

241
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,367
Hello, Daniel,
how are you? Uh-huh.

242
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,744
I sure do. Yes.

243
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,539
Wanted to ask, did
Kathy ever make jv?

244
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,333
Look at that old dude
and his rolodex go.

245
00:11:49,416 --> 00:11:52,461
I spent a month putting that
rolodex on his BlackBerry,

246
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,004
which he now uses
as a nightlight.

247
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,297
Michael: Wow. High score?

248
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,508
And, no, I cannot
lower my current prices.

249
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:58,759
(Telephone ringing)

250
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,386
Hold on.

251
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:04,223
Hello. Mr. Schofield, thank you
so much for taking the time to talk.

252
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:07,268
I wanted to discuss
your contract with us.

253
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,856
You're considering him.

254
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:16,694
I thought Michael Scott left the paper
business after his nervous breakdown.

255
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,612
Michael has been talking
to my biggest client.

256
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:22,074
Master and apprentice
pitted against one another

257
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:25,661
for the fate of the greater
Scranton area paper market.

258
00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:29,623
So it's not exactly
like highlander, but still.

259
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,127
(Telephone ringing)

260
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,839
Hello, Dwight. I've been expecting
your call. What do you want?

261
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:39,842
I would like to arrange a truce.

262
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:44,221
So you heard Schofield is considering
a switch, and you want mercy.

263
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,705
Meet me in our spot
in four minutes.

264
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,268
No, you think I'm going
to fall for that? There's no...

265
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:50,352
Michael.

266
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,604
Meet... okay.

267
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,898
Go to the spot and
then walk 100 feet.

268
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,649
In which direction?

269
00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:56,774
Toward the sun.

270
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:57,860
At what time?

271
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,029
Noon. You have two seconds.

272
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,827
Michael.

273
00:13:10,497 --> 00:13:11,582
Sorry.

274
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:13,584
Dwight. Michael.

275
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,712
I hope you're not recording
this conversation.

276
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:20,841
Good.

277
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,011
I cannot believe that
you sided with Charles.

278
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,947
You were making me do things
that were not all right.

279
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,097
So you just rat me out?

280
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:28,349
You could've said no.

281
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,808
And not come through for you?

282
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,603
If you want a truce,
I will give you a truce.

283
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:34,521
I want a truce. I do, too.

284
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,733
Let me take you and your whole
company out for lunch at Alfredo's.

285
00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:38,901
Cooper's.

286
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,152
I had fish yesterday.

287
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,403
Damn it.

288
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:42,738
(Cell phone ringing)

289
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,157
Dwight-a-licious. Where you at?

290
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,952
Hi, Michael.
I'm so sorry I'm late.

291
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,620
I got stuck in traffic.

292
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,789
Really? That's weird.
We didn't see any.

293
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,624
I hit a bear. What?

294
00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,042
He's technically fine.

295
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:58,712
I imagine the true horror will
be when he wakes up in a zoo.

296
00:13:59,546 --> 00:14:00,899
Hey, listen,
will you do me a favor

297
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,342
and order
the meatball parm for me,

298
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,302
with extra cheese? Yeah, sure.

299
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,972
Dwight: Good. I will
see you very soon, all right?

300
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,015
Okay. See you in a bit.

301
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:15,396
Dwight hit a bear.
He'll be here in a sec.

302
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,403
Oh, my god, I think
we've been robbed!

303
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:23,821
(Telephone ringing)

304
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:26,740
Yeah?

305
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,104
Dwight:
Did you enjoy your lunch?

306
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,102
Dwight, not now,
we've been robbed.

307
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,997
No, Michael. You were sabotaged!

308
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,541
No, Dwight, we were robbed.

309
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:38,460
How would you even know?
You're still stuck in traffic.

310
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,090
You? Me.

311
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,235
Michael: What about our truce?

312
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,260
I broke it.

313
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:47,845
On purpose? Yes.

314
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,073
You think this is
some kind of game?

315
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:53,517
No, this is a war, and I
will not stop, I will not rest.

316
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,020
You have no idea what
kind of enemy you've created.

317
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,105
You have unleashed a wolf!

318
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,565
Be that as it may,

319
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:04,320
I have your meatball
parm sandwich here,

320
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,238
and I am going to eat it.

321
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,823
And I knew that
you would do that.

322
00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:10,951
Their meatball parm is
their worst sandwich!

323
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,456
Bastard!

324
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,270
Hi, there. Dwight schrute here.

325
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,713
I was just calling to see
if Michael Scott paper

326
00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:25,049
was meeting all of
your paper needs,

327
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:29,178
and how is Brenda, age four,
ponytail, and Simon, age seven?

328
00:15:31,638 --> 00:15:32,639
You don't say.

329
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,808
Schrute comma Dwight.

330
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:39,063
And on the back he wrote,
"great salesman, better friend."

331
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:44,860
"Tall" and "beets."

332
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,072
And say hello to shari,

333
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,991
who is your black wife.

334
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,285
(Cell phone ringing)

335
00:15:57,956 --> 00:15:59,708
So you're
begging for mercy, huh?

336
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,752
Well, you will find none here.

337
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,021
Dwight, do you mind if we talk?

338
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,381
Sure. That'd be fine.

339
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,550
If you keep coming after us,
the Michael Scott paper company

340
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,802
cannotsucceed.

341
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,096
This is war and
that is what happens.

342
00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:15,891
One more thing. I'm
going to have you listen

343
00:16:15,974 --> 00:16:17,643
while I steal
your biggest client.

344
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,686
Oh, no. No, no, no, no!

345
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,564
Michael. Michael. Michael!
I'm turning you down right now.

346
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,334
You can hear me,
but I can't hear you.

347
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,859
Mr. Schofield's
ready to see you now,

348
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:26,944
Mr. Scott.

349
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,547
Great, Mr. Schofield's
ready to see me.

350
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,115
Thank you so much. Don't
let him in, he's a traitor!

351
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,366
Walking in the door. Michael!

352
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,659
Michael. Good to see you.

353
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:36,161
Mr. Schofield, good to see you.

354
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,997
And I'm closing the door.

355
00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:43,961
Michael: Now,
when Dwight tells you

356
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,713
that he will keep
prices steady for a year,

357
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,382
I think he is
speaking out of turn.

358
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,134
Really? Yes.

359
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,386
He does not have
the authority to say that.

360
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:56,306
I, on the other hand, am the
president, the owner and the founder.

361
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,475
It is like you are buying
software from Bill Gates.

362
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,978
Are you saying
you invented paper?

363
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,146
(Sobbing)

364
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,647
Okay, okay.

365
00:17:04,731 --> 00:17:06,150
God. Okay, tuna.

366
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:07,568
(Elevator bell dings)

367
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:10,237
Hey, guys. Jim: Hey.

368
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,572
Hello.

369
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,550
Excuse me, can I have
your attention, everyone?

370
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,658
Here's the deal, everybody.

371
00:17:14,741 --> 00:17:18,078
Jim Halpert is very
upset and disturbed.

372
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:19,806
I don't know if it
was something you did,

373
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,498
something you said,
a look you gave him.

374
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:25,669
Maybe it was nothing at all, but
here's the deal, okay? It stops now!

375
00:17:25,752 --> 00:17:27,129
I guess I could be nicer.

376
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,256
Andy, I think Jim
is messing with you.

377
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,466
Really?

378
00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:35,679
Okay. Yeah, okay.

379
00:17:35,762 --> 00:17:37,431
What the heck is happening here?

380
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,057
Two things I need
you to understand.

381
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:41,518
One, Pam and I are
very happy together.

382
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:42,603
That's not what was...

383
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,937
And two,

384
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,899
that stuff that happened with
you and Angela is a bummer.

385
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,042
And I know that you don't think

386
00:17:48,066 --> 00:17:49,878
you're ever going to find
someone else, but you will.

387
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,821
I promise you, you will.

388
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:57,409
(Grunting)

389
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,495
Man, he got me so good.

390
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:05,125
I learned something
about myself today.

391
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,293
Yeah.

392
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:07,711
I wish this was a sofa,

393
00:18:07,794 --> 00:18:10,130
'cause I feel like I could
sit here and talk for hours.

394
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:13,133
What is that thing
that Dwight always says?

395
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:18,138
"Paper is the soil in which
the seeds of business grow..."

396
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,890
It's not the soil,
it's the manure!

397
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,600
Paper is the manure!

398
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,936
On-time delivery is the soil!

399
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,562
(Growling)

400
00:18:28,815 --> 00:18:30,400
(Grunting in frustration)

401
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:37,281
Hello, Dwight.

402
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:38,450
Spin move!

403
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:39,952
(Exclaims)

404
00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:43,247
April 13th, 2002.

405
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,665
Dwight! I'm in a meeting.

406
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:45,999
That's very rude.

407
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,751
I barge, because I care.

408
00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:50,295
April 13th, 2002.
That is the date

409
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,548
when you tried to
switch paper providers

410
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:56,343
for an obscure sociology
textbook, but were hung out to dry

411
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,804
when the price of
glossy stock increased.

412
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,657
Maybe we should schedule
a meeting on another day.

413
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:04,601
Hey, hey! Continuing. Notice my
persistence and recall. Continuing!

414
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:08,772
You called dunder Mifflin and
your order was filled within an hour.

415
00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:12,025
I'm going to pull a date
out of the air right now.

416
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,069
April 13th, 2002.

417
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,990
That is the last day that you
evaluated your paper needs.

418
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:21,451
Is it not? We all know
that the economy is bad,

419
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,721
and bloated companies like
dunder Mifflin... come on.

420
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:25,831
Are going to
fall by the wayside.

421
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,834
Two of their branches have
closed within the last year.

422
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:31,044
The Michael Scott
paper company, however,

423
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,213
has opened a new
branch this very month.

424
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,717
What he's not telling you
is that he will abandon you.

425
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,261
Why don't you guys just
e-mail me your best offers,

426
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:40,530
and we can
finish it up that way?

427
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,074
That sounds like a great idea.
That sounds like a fantastic idea.

428
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:46,226
I will see you this weekend for
the penguins, box seats as usual!

429
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,728
Okay, sure! Good, good, good.

430
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,188
Thank you, Mr. Schofield,
for your time.

431
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,773
Much appreciated.

432
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,275
And tell me,

433
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,569
how's your gay son?

434
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:57,821
Excuse me?

435
00:20:00,907 --> 00:20:02,451
I color-code all my info.

436
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:03,994
I wrote "gay son" in green.

437
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:07,789
Green means go, so I know to
go ahead and shut up about it.

438
00:20:07,914 --> 00:20:11,084
Orange means, "orange
you glad you didn't bring it up?"

439
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,211
Most colors mean,
"don't say it."

440
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,173
How is Tom,
the homosexual sophomore?

441
00:20:17,924 --> 00:20:20,677
I wanted to start
a company, not a war,

442
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:25,390
because, in a war, you always
fight those you are closest to.

443
00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:28,852
And the great tragedy
of the civil war

444
00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:30,729
is that brother
fought against brother.

445
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:33,607
For what? What
purpose did that serve,

446
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,942
apart from abolishing slavery?

447
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:38,904
In that case,
war was the right choice.

448
00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:40,781
This doesn't feel
as important, though.

449
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,284
That's just how the
world works, I guess.

450
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:49,122
(Muffled exclamation)

451
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,460
(Telephone ringing)

452
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,047
(Muffled)
Michael Scott paper company.

453
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:58,215
(Laughing)