1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,587 Michael, since it is your fifteenth anniversary at the company, 2 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,964 I thought it might be appropriate to begin the festivities 3 00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:08,967 with a 15-minute round of applause. 4 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,092 I like it. 5 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:13,222 Followed by a 15-minute moment of silence. 6 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,932 I don't know. 7 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:16,600 Is it classy enough? 8 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,228 Jim, enough with the classy, okay? 9 00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:22,189 I just feel like after 15 years at this company... 10 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,315 Bravo, by the way. 11 00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:26,860 That we should celebrate with a very classy event, a night to remember. 12 00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:27,945 I think you're right. 13 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,781 This party has to have all the excitement, drama 14 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,075 and intrigue of my time here. 15 00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,701 And, of course, classy. 16 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:35,953 And classy, yeah. 17 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,705 Michael, you're just agreeing with him 'cause he's wearing a tux. 18 00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,099 Don't you see what he's doing here? 19 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,584 Last week, Dwight sent out a memo about the dress code. 20 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:46,463 So, this is me showing him that I'm taking it very seriously. 21 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:51,134 Oh! Here's one. A string quartet playing classical music. 22 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:59,810 You know, that's good, but it's not classy. I need something 23 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,146 classy, like the opening of a car dealership. 24 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,314 That's it. 25 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,774 Or Mr. Peanut. Yes. 26 00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,568 Mr. Peanut is not classy. He is. 27 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,152 He is a regular peanut. 28 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,446 He just happens to have a cane, a monocle and a top hat. 29 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,864 That's what makes him classy. 30 00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,108 Dwight: Okay, how about this? 31 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,742 An ice sculpture shaped like you 32 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,036 covered in chocolate-covered strawberries. 33 00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:21,164 Dwight, you're trying too hard, and that's just not classy. 34 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,875 See, the thing about classy is, it's a state of mind. 35 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,670 Well, I'm sorry. I just don't know what classy is, then. 36 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,422 Okay, let's just try this one on for size, 37 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,174 and I apologize, 'cause it's right off the top of my head. 38 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,386 An ice sculpture of you completely surrounded 39 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,388 by a variety of chocolate-covered fruits. 40 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:37,598 Strawberries? 41 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:38,682 That's inspired. 42 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:39,933 I said that! 43 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,021 Not classy. 44 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,439 Not classy at all. 45 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,316 Déclassé. French! 46 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,318 Classy. 47 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,595 Hi, can I help you? 48 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,514 Yeah, I'm Charles miner, here to see Michael Scott. 49 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,517 Sure, just one second, please. Have a seat. 50 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,270 Michael.“ yes? Michael, 51 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,581 there's a Charles miner here to see you. 52 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,566 Miner? I hardly know her! 53 00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:32,735 Hello? 54 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:33,880 Yeah, are you coming out now? 55 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,905 Uh-huh. 56 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,659 Well, well, well, who have we here? 57 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,286 It is prince Charles miner! 58 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:47,084 At your service. Everybody, this is sir Charles miner, 59 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:50,504 and he is the new vp for the northeast region, 60 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,673 so just give it up for this big guy, right? 61 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:53,840 Give it up! 62 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,008 Here he is. There he is. 63 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,176 Charles: Hey. Hi. 64 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,344 Hi, everyone... 65 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,428 Wow! Hold that thought. 66 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,306 You know what? I want everybody to go into the break room. 67 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:02,766 I have a little surprise for you. 68 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,101 Go ahead. You, too. 69 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,520 Dwight, would you escort our guest in there? 70 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,146 Come on. Here we go. Don't be shy. 71 00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:10,023 Don't be shy, you're one of us. 72 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,627 Dwight, stall him a little bit. I have to get the fish. 73 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:13,985 Hey yes? 74 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,590 Really wish you would've told me the new boss was coming today. 75 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,825 What? No! I didn't want to make everybody nervous. 76 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,411 No, I mean I could've brought a change of clothes, or... 77 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,537 You look dynamite. 78 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,788 What are you talking about? 79 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,499 Very slick. Okay, let me get the fish. 80 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,627 Originally founded in 1866, 81 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,796 Scranton quickly became one of Pennsylvania's 82 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,382 largest anthracite coalmining communities. 83 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,009 Surprise! There's nothing in here. 84 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:40,262 The real surprise is in the conference room. 85 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,638 Let's go! 86 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,807 God! Okay, come on! Come on! 87 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:47,561 I'll finish it up later, but essentially what we're talking about is... 88 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,563 Surprise! 89 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,942 As you can see, I turned the bagels 90 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,902 from o's into c's, for Charles. 91 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,156 Thank you. Took me all night. 92 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,741 This is what you did last night? 93 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,617 I met this guy at corporate last week, 94 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,787 and we were just digging each other's vibe. 95 00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:08,582 I was totally grooving on him, and vice versa. 96 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,042 And besides, the last two people to have his job 97 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,544 were jan and Ryan. 98 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:17,549 The former was my lover, and the latter my best friend, so who knows? 99 00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,260 I do. 100 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,053 It's gonna be mental! 101 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,849 It's going to be mental. 102 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,020 Oh, my god, he's like a black George Clooney. 103 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,022 Angela: Really? I don't see it. 104 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:36,401 I mean, he's okay. He's not unattractive, he's... 105 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,611 Hey, how you doing? 106 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:38,814 I'm Jim Halpert, from sales. 107 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:39,988 Hey. Just wanted to say, 108 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,532 if you need anything, let me know. 109 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,910 Why are you wearing a tuxedo? 110 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,120 I didn't think you'd notice. 111 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,974 It's funny, actually. There's another salesman out here, 112 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,667 Dwight schrute, he sent out this memo, as he always does, 113 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,170 and it was about professionalism in the workplace, 114 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,963 and of course he singled me out. 115 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,257 So I just had to mess with him. 116 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,820 You'd understand if you read the memo, 117 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,124 which I should probably get you. 118 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,807 There's probably one in the drawer. 119 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,391 It was pretty crazy. 120 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,643 But... 121 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,687 Not more crazy than wearing a tux at work. 122 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,981 I'll Grant you that, so I'm gonna... 123 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,733 Your name's Jim? Jim Halpert, yep, 124 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,736 so just gonna let you get back to it, so... 125 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,447 He just had to wear his tux today. 126 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,615 I thought I'd be funny. 127 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:26,076 Took him 40 minutes to get ready. 128 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:31,164 All right, let me introduce you to some of the troops. 129 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,166 Accounting, front and center. 130 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:36,086 Come on up here. I'd like you to meet somebody. 131 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,671 This is the accounting department. 132 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,464 Hey. I come from accounting, too. 133 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:40,966 Nerd alert! 134 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:45,428 This is Oscar Martinez. He is latino, 135 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:50,058 and he just got out of a long-term relationship with a man, Gil, 136 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:53,019 who broke his heart, but he didn't bring any of that into work, 137 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,272 it did not affect his job performance whatsoever, 138 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,107 and I am very proud of him 139 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,191 for that. 140 00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,835 Hey, Oscar, it's good to meet you. Good. 141 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,488 This little hell-raiser is Angela. 142 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:06,741 She has slept with a bunch of different guys in the office. 143 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,077 The one over there, in the orange. 144 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,370 Heyo! 145 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,955 Heyo. Where's the other... 146 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,638 You know, Michael, I don't need to know everyone's sexual history. 147 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,919 Well, perfect, because we have now arrived at Kevin, 148 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,603 And he has no sexual history. 149 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,966 How about I just say hi to everyone at one time? 150 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,301 Good! Good, good, good. 151 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,345 Everyone please give it up for Charles miner. 152 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:31,224 Thank you, Michael. Thank you for the c-shaped bagels. 153 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,727 Well... above and beyond. Great. That's great. 154 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,645 Charles: Hey, you know, we're in tough times, 155 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,480 and we're not immune to this economy. 156 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,815 That's true. But the goal is 157 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,692 to, you know, fight our way through this. 158 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,446 Stanley Hudson. Are there going to be layoffs? 159 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:45,572 No, absolutely not. 160 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,907 Hold on, Michael, thank you. 161 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,868 Stanley, you know, we can't make any promises, 162 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,746 but we'll try everything in our power to avoid that. 163 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,122 Do you have specifics? 164 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:57,459 Well, Michael should have filled you in last week. 165 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:01,838 Well, due to the economy, there's a lot of worry going around. 166 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,341 I didn't want to worry people. Well... you didn't tell them. 167 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,550 Why don't... 168 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:06,754 Yeah, what I told Michael... 169 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,470 Charles is going to tell you. 170 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,764 Is that we are cutting 3% across the board, 171 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,891 which means we will no longer be matching 172 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,768 401 Contributions, 173 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,187 and all overtime requests will need 174 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,272 to come through the corporate office. 175 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,899 Fantastic. Well, it's not official. 176 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,609 It is official. It is official... well... 177 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,903 And actually, guys, I'm encouraging branches 178 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,447 to consider a freeze on discretionary spending. 179 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,950 Such as salary benefits, etcetera, etcetera... 180 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,117 No, no. 181 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,119 Insurance. Not salaries. 182 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:37,207 Petty cash, supplies and parties. Things like that. 183 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,291 Well... no. 184 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:39,644 What about your party? 185 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,794 Okay, okay. You know what? 186 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,504 I think this has been great. 187 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,965 I think this gives us a lot to think about, doesn't it? 188 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:48,051 Charles miner, ladies and gentlemen. He has a long trip home. 189 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,154 Thank you for coming in. We have to get back to work! 190 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,614 Michael, I'm going to stay for the day. 191 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:52,949 Oh, no, you don't have to do that. 192 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,617 I've got this covered. This was just a meet and greet. 193 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,243 No, this is a little more involved than that. 194 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,560 I'm gonna set up in here, okay? 195 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,854 I am thrilled that the new boss 196 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,856 has taken such an active interest 197 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:05,527 in all of the responsibilities that I'm supposed to have. 198 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,405 Thrilled. 199 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,908 David, it was my understanding 200 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,994 that I was not going to be managed. 201 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,079 Da vid: What gave you that idea? 202 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,081 It was my understanding. 203 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,165 I see. 204 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:22,669 Listen, why don't we just leave that position vacant? 205 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,587 Truth be told, I think I thrive 206 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,339 under a lack of accountability. 207 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,217 Look, Michael, Charles is very qualified. 208 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,427 Get to know him. 209 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,179 I really think the two of you are going to make a great team. 210 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,514 But the branch is still mine? 211 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,349 You're still the branch manager, yes. 212 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:39,561 And if you need anything else at all, just let Charles know. 213 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,955 Ask him about the party. 214 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:44,357 Right. David, are you coming to my fifteenth anniversary party? 215 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:45,584 I'll give it my best shot, Michael. 216 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,735 No, no, no, the other thing. 217 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,654 Okay. If we hire cirque du soleil as salaried employees, 218 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,782 will that help us with the year-end tax stuff? 219 00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,748 Think he hung up? 220 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:06,421 I just got off the horn with David Wallace, and he said that you and I 221 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,883 should try to get to know each other better, and I agree. 222 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:14,429 So, what I would like you to do is tell me something 223 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,057 that you've never told anybody before. 224 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,977 Come on. What's your wife's name? 225 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,522 Where did you work before you came here? 226 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,357 Saticoy steel. 227 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,650 Beautiful! 228 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:33,573 See, African-Americans have such a rich history of unusual names. 229 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,826 No, I worked at a company called saticoy steel. 230 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,914 You're not from paper? No. 231 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,749 Does David know this? Yeah, he knows. 232 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,043 He just wants a good manager. 233 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:49,422 Well, that actually is an excellent segue into, 234 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,296 really, what is my only point... yeah, what is that? 235 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:55,678 And that is, I don't need to be managed, Charles. 236 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,516 And if you want to pick up some tips observing here 237 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,452 and take them to the other branches, it's all good, 238 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:06,106 but jan would mostly come by when she was super horny 239 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:11,611 and Ryan would come by to visit his parents and do laundry, so... 240 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,073 Are we clear? 241 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,450 That's not how I plan on doing things. 242 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,244 Okay, okay. 243 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:20,912 Well, I'll just bounce that off David. 244 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,038 See what comes back. 245 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,833 I'll tell David what he needs to know. 246 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,377 Sorry. David wants it this way. 247 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,129 Whatever David wants. 248 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,255 Okay. 249 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,632 Michael: Michael Scott calling for David. 250 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:37,387 Well, just tell him to call me asap as possible. Thanks. 251 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:41,307 Michael, come on, no. You have to charm them. 252 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,830 Stephanie: David Wallace's office. 253 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,523 Hey there, gorgeous. How you doing today? 254 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,649 I'm good, thank you. 255 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,151 How's it hanging? 256 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,277 All right. 257 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,445 Good, listen. My name is Michael 258 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,157 scotch, 259 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,951 and I just wanted to say 260 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:03,913 that I've got David Wallace's son in the trunk of my car. 261 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,082 If he doesn't get on this phone in five seconds, 262 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,333 I'm gonna start... 263 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,751 What are you doing? God! 264 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,630 Oh, my god. 265 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,109 Stephanie: David Wallace's office. 266 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,344 Hi, Stephanie, it's Michael Scott again. 267 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,156 I just spoke with Michael scotch, 268 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,806 and the son's going to be returned. 269 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:22,891 Everything's fine. 270 00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:23,975 Michael... 271 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,019 And I really, really need to talk to David. 272 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,478 Please hold. 273 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,606 Charles: Charles miner. 274 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,442 Hello? Hello, who is this? 275 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:35,862 Who is this? 276 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,572 I was never given a name. 277 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:00,762 Hi, can I help you? 278 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:01,971 I don't think anyone here... 279 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:05,892 Pam. Hey, everyone, lunch is on me today. 280 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,311 Dwight: Whoa! 281 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,455 Wow! That is so unnecessary. 282 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,648 Are you kidding me with this? 283 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,167 On the day that I bring in breakfast? 284 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,484 Hey, man, it's no big deal. 285 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,446 I wish you had told us sooner, because I was going to go 286 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,216 to the vending machine and get an egg salad. 287 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,367 You still have that option. 288 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,535 Thanks again, Charles. You're welcome. 289 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,619 Thank you. 290 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,790 Nobody thanked me for breakfast except Charles. 291 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,586 You say no more parties, 292 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,880 and then you spend all of this money onlunch. 293 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,382 I think it's a little hypercritical. 294 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,342 I do this for every branch I go to. 295 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:42,679 If you do not like it, then I think there are some bagels 296 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,889 left over from this morning. 297 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:49,269 Damn it, Stephanie, put me through to him. 298 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,188 Is that him in the background? David? 299 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,899 David. David, pick up the phone. 300 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,236 Should I seduce him? 301 00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,656 No. No one wants to see that. 302 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:05,826 Michael. 303 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:06,953 Okay. Yep? 304 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:11,374 I just realized that I used the 2008 calendar 305 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,960 to do the spreadsheets for January and February. 306 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,296 I may need to come in this weekend to fix it. 307 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:17,380 Do some overtime. 308 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,565 Want to do some overtime this weekend? 309 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:19,590 You know what, Kevin? 310 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,134 I applaud your initiative. 311 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,552 Yes, you may. 312 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,721 No, sorry, Michael. No, Kevin, right? 313 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,932 Gonna need you to do that during office hours. 314 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:29,642 Okay. Okay. Thank you. 315 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,270 Kevin, this is my branch. 316 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,230 You don't ask Charles. You ask me. 317 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,481 I say approved. 318 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,875 That's not the way it's gonna work. 319 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,943 Yesitm. No, nisnot 320 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,070 no, it is not. 321 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,589 Okay, so we're on the same page, great. 322 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,049 Okay, so we're on the same page, great! 323 00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,217 Okay, Michael. No, seriously. 324 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,534 Okay, Michael. No, seriously. 325 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:47,952 How old are you? How old are you? 326 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,036 Oh, no. 327 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:52,165 I can tell Michael's mood by which comedy routine he chooses to do. 328 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,500 The more infantile, the more upset he is. 329 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:57,503 And he just skipped the ace ventura talking-butt thing. 330 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,088 He never skips it. 331 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:00,923 This is bad. 332 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,675 Five years old. Five years old. 333 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,177 Dude, stop. 334 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,970 Dwight: Michael! This is great. 335 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,239 Dwight: Michael, stop doing that! This is great. 336 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,282 Andy: A whole mess of trouble. Stop it! 337 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,307 I'm going to walk away. 338 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,641 I'm going to walk away. 339 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:11,768 Andy: Stop doing that! 340 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,979 I'm kidding around. Wow! Relax, everybody. 341 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,190 It's just a joke. It's fine. 342 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:20,902 Boy, so touchy. Ppc, let's continue our morning meeting 343 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,278 in the conference room. 344 00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:26,574 And then out of that cake pops another stripper holding a smaller cake, 345 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,535 and then an even smaller stripper pops out of that one. 346 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,371 What is that smaller stripper holding? 347 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,580 A cupcake. Nice. 348 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,423 It's cupcakes and strippers all the way down. 349 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:35,583 Okay. 350 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,169 What exactly is the ppc? 351 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,923 That's the party planning committee. 352 00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,467 They spend hours planning parties. 353 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,469 Excuse me, guys. 354 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,989 What's going on in here? Party planning committee. 355 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,306 Not your concern, Charles. 356 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,059 This doesn't seem like a good way to spend company time. 357 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,269 Really? Well, then, how would we come up 358 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,147 with great ideas like Jim's? Go ahead. 359 00:14:58,272 --> 00:14:59,792 No, I would like to get back to work, actually. 360 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,943 Please. Charles: What you got, Jim? 361 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,154 What is a two-way petting zoo? 362 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,826 You pet the animals, they pet you back. 363 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,036 It's a great idea. And we have a cake 364 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,038 in the shape of a bale of hay. 365 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,682 It's really just a regular-shaped cake... 366 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,184 But it's cool, and it's... Charles: No. 367 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,419 This isn't a good use of company time, Michael. 368 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,755 Whoa. You're talking about my anniversary party, so... 369 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:25,550 Okay, everyone except for Michael, go back to your desks. 370 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,319 Thank you very much. Michael: Yeah, why don't you do that? 371 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,387 Yeah, here we go. Okay. Okay. 372 00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:33,015 Okay, Michael, I'm dissolving this committee. 373 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,600 Yeah, I mean, come on! What? 374 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:37,520 This is a workplace. It isn't designed for your vanity. 375 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,606 Newsflash. I've been here for 15 years. 376 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,276 Headline. You have been here one day. 377 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,735 End of story. 378 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:48,865 You have no right to cancel my fifteenth anniversary party. 379 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,075 End of story. End of story! End of story! 380 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,553 I don't care if I've hurt your feelings 381 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,830 or you do not agree with my methods, but it is over. 382 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:59,375 Okay, no, no, no, you know what? I'm going to New York, 383 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:02,128 and I am going to talk to David Wallace. 384 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,088 I'm going to tell him everything, 385 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,424 and I'm sorry to say, you're screwed. 386 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,092 And you know what? 387 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,720 You are gonna be through. 388 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,347 And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to do that to you. 389 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:14,640 Right. 390 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,559 Do you even know how paper is made? 391 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,728 It's not like steel. 392 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,938 You don't put it into a furnace! 393 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,984 If you put paper into a furnace, you know what would happen? 394 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,736 You'd ruin it! 395 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:38,915 Come in. 396 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,666 Hey. 397 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,335 All right, Charles, I gotta be honest. 398 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,505 I think we really got off on the wrong foot here, 399 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:49,926 and, truth be told, I'm a pretty smart guy and a hard worker 400 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,677 and I'm a great number two for the office. 401 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:52,845 Number two? 402 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,056 Second-in-command to Michael. 403 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,725 I didn't know that position existed. 404 00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,436 That's because at first it was a made-up position for Dwight, 405 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,580 just to make him feel better. 406 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,272 Assistant to the regional manager. 407 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,250 But then he lost that, and Michael gave it to me. 408 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,985 So you're the assistant to the regional manager? 409 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,445 Assistant regional manager, yeah. 410 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,281 Any responsibilities come with it? 411 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:14,951 No, not exactly. 412 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,912 Do you want to keep this made-up position? 413 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,623 It's important to you? 414 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,669 All right, iwill... 415 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,897 I'm just going to let you get back to it. Yeah, would you... 416 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,381 Thanks. 417 00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:37,181 Hello, Stephanie. Okay, where is he? 418 00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:40,685 Michael. 419 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:45,314 So is this the meeting you've been in all day? 420 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,542 How did you get here, Michael? 421 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,150 I drove. 422 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:50,861 Okay. 423 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,031 Cancelled my fifteenth anniversary party. 424 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,866 Just pulled the rug out from under me. 425 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,911 He said no figs. I've already bought them, 426 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:00,871 and I don't have a place to store them. 427 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,749 So I feel like I've been sort of boned. 428 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,710 Michael... did you talk to him about this? 429 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:08,045 You've talked to him all day, obviously. 430 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,589 Did you talk to him about this? 431 00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:11,632 Well, I didn't know about the figs specifically... 432 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:12,874 No, okay, then I don't get it. 433 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,218 It doesn't make any sense to me, 434 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,529 because I thought the new system was 435 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,597 that I was supposed to talk to Charles, 436 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,324 and then Charles was supposed to talk to you, 437 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,559 and that would dilute any need for me 438 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:22,893 to ever talk to you again. 439 00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:24,121 That's not exactly the system... 440 00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,938 Clearly that's what you wanted. 441 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,524 Fifteen years I've been here, 442 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,860 and I have sacrificed a lot. 443 00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:32,737 Yes. 444 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,363 I've put having a family on hold. 445 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,407 We didn't ask you to do that. 446 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,784 And I have never gone hang-gliding. 447 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:42,622 And I've never driven my car to the top of mount Washington. 448 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:45,875 Okay. 449 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,668 Nice meeting everyone. Jim: All right. 450 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,587 I'll see you in a couple of weeks. Cool. 451 00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,005 Jim: Excellent. 452 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,842 It was very nice meeting you, Charles miner. 453 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,553 Okay. 454 00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,555 See you. 455 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,601 See you! 456 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,861 And for my next trick, I will make my career disappear. 457 00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:16,572 I could see our kids facing obstacles, 458 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,449 being half black and half Indian, 459 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,826 but it's so worth it, you guys. 460 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,912 There's just me here. 461 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,498 I am going to get him to buy me a prime rib tonight. 462 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,500 I think he left. What? 463 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,252 Move! 464 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,798 Hello? Charles? 465 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,591 Chades? 466 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,553 Is that his scarf? 467 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,060 Charles and Kelly? Absolutely not. 468 00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,771 He is a sophisticated man. 469 00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:53,192 He does not need to go dumpster-diving for companionship, okay? 470 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:59,740 I don't understand that, after 15 years of service here, 471 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,911 I have to get in a car and drive to New York in order to talk to you. 472 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,871 That doesn't seem right to me. 473 00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:08,582 That doesn't seem fair, and I think 474 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,336 that I've earned more than that. 475 00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,929 You're right, yes. I get it. I get it, Michael. 476 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,973 Okay. Here's what I'm gonna do. 477 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,057 Okay. 478 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,476 We will move some money around, 479 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:31,439 and I will personally see to it that you have your party, 480 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,900 you have your figs. I will be in attendance. 481 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,319 It's gonna be great. How's that? 482 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:44,744 I quit. 483 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:45,953 What? 484 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,250 Michael. You have no idea how high I can fly.