1
00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:03,711
(Phone ringing)

2
00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,048
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,134
I'm sorry, he's not in yet.

4
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:11,344
Would you like his voicemail?

5
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,513
Michael: Yeah!

6
00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:16,516
Yeah! Yeah! Okay.

7
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,145
Twelve miles an hour.

8
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,230
Eat that, Carl Lewis!

9
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:25,567
Angela made several
911 calls about cars

10
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,569
going too fast in
front of the building,

11
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,988
so the police put up
a radar gun.

12
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,783
It's actually caused a
bit of a traffic hazard.

13
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,077
(Screaming)

14
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:38,913
Wow, 13.

15
00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:40,748
No, no, no. Dwhght1yeam

16
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,625
there was wind.
I was just jogging.

17
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,502
Dwight, there was wind.
I want a do over.

18
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,772
No, no, no, it's not your turn.
All right, 13 is the new number.

19
00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:47,839
Oscar, go ahead.

20
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:50,258
I want another try. Here we go!

21
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,846
Thirty-one! 31!

22
00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:56,014
Stanley: There was a car.

23
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,266
I was ahead of the car.
Thirty-one is my new number.

24
00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,684
Thirty-one is
humanly impossible.

25
00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:01,686
Go, Oscar.
Thirty-one is my number.

26
00:01:01,769 --> 00:01:03,771
That's impossible. Beat it!

27
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,795
Michael: Today's 3 big day.
My presence has been requested

28
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:33,301
by chief financial officer,
David Wallace.

29
00:01:35,803 --> 00:01:39,307
He says that he wants to
talk about big picture stuff,

30
00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:43,728
and, I'll be honest, I have
little or no idea what that means.

31
00:01:43,811 --> 00:01:46,314
So, probably bad.

32
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,777
Quick announcement.
New year, new candy.

33
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,153
(Whoops)

34
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,113
Okay, be careful, Kevin.
They're kind of spicy.

35
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,448
Hot tamales.

36
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,658
Yeah. Uh-oh.

37
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,368
So maybe just try one at first,

38
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,912
and then if it's okay,
have a couple more.

39
00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:04,165
Excuse me, everyone,
can I have the floor, please?

40
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,836
This is insanely awkward.

41
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:12,590
It's kind of the elephant
in the room, so I'll just...

42
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:14,342
(Sighs)

43
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,719
No one has rsvped
to our wedding yet,

44
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,638
and the deadline was yesterday.

45
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:20,866
Wait, you still don't know...

46
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,892
No, no.No.

47
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:25,799
Nothing. You still don't know...

48
00:02:25,853 --> 00:02:27,453
Why don't... let's...
What are you doing?

49
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,750
How about we just... I just
have to talk to you for a second.

50
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,025
Andy. Has... ah.

51
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,027
No. No one has rsvped,

52
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,530
and I don't understand it,
and now you're shutting me out.

53
00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:38,491
You're not even listening, and
that's really considerate. Thank you.

54
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:39,784
No, what I'm saying... no, no.

55
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:40,952
No, that's not... I know...

56
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,872
Andy still doesn't know that Angela
is having an affair with Dwight.

57
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:48,001
And it's been 17 days.

58
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,003
I mean, eventually
he'll figure it out

59
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:53,631
when their kids have giant
heads and beet-stained teeth.

60
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:56,301
But right now,
it's just awkward.

61
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,803
(Sighing) How can
he still not know?

62
00:02:58,886 --> 00:03:00,888
We can't figure that out.
I can't take it anymore.

63
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,599
Wait, what? You can't take what?

64
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:03,725
I'm telling Andy, Dwight.

65
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:04,930
No, you can't do that. Yes.

66
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,954
It shouldn't come from you.
Who should it come from, then?

67
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,021
All: Angela. Angela.

68
00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,731
From Angela. Angela.

69
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:12,900
Are you still having
intercourse with her?

70
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:16,154
What is wrong with you?
She is engaged.

71
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,240
Did you ever have
intercourse in this office?

72
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,785
Are you serious?

73
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,495
(Exclaims in disgust)

74
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:25,747
Where?

75
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,625
Where?

76
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,129
Where, Dwight?

77
00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:35,882
Seems like you
already know where.

78
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,638
Kevin, you screwed
this form up again.

79
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,556
The amount owed goes at the top.

80
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,017
Oh, I'm sorry.

81
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,978
I didn't realize I was
doing something wrong.

82
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:54,067
If I had, I would have admitted
it and stopped right away.

83
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,193
That's enough.

84
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:58,529
Because I wouldn't want
an innocent person

85
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:01,449
who doesn't know anything
about the form...

86
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,204
What?

87
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,455
That was good.

88
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,184
It's just at the end you
weren't saying something

89
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,335
that could also
apply to the form.

90
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,544
How about,

91
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:17,173
"I'm sorry I did such a
whorish job filling out this form"?

92
00:04:17,256 --> 00:04:18,716
Oscar: There you go.

93
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,429
That cannot be true!

94
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:27,642
You're going to charge me
a fee to cut my own cake?

95
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,353
(Exclaims) No, no, no, no.

96
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,914
What I'm saying is
I want to cut it myself.

97
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:32,980
Trade seats with me.

98
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,858
I've got a better angle on Pam.

99
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,443
I can see everything.

100
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,903
Please stop.

101
00:04:38,986 --> 00:04:40,196
(Sighs)

102
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,159
I need a soup spoon.

103
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:49,831
Dwight: Rule 17, don't turn your
back on bears, men you have wronged,

104
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:52,166
or the dominant Turkey
during mating season.

105
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:56,421
There are 40 rules all schrute
boys must learn before the age of five.

106
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,758
(Singing) Learn your rules
you better learn your rules

107
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,845
if you don't you'll be
eaten in your sleep

108
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:11,978
(Clears throat)

109
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:19,694
What is it?

110
00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:21,446
You've gotta tell Andy about us.

111
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,656
That is a terrible idea.
One of your worst.

112
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,908
Get it over with. Then we
don't have to hide anymore.

113
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,660
You're expanding
on your worst idea.

114
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,162
Do you love me or not?

115
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,080
I've already admitted that I do.

116
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,040
Why do you keep
making me repeat it?

117
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,418
Because you're engaged to Andy.

118
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,336
(Sighs)

119
00:05:47,054 --> 00:05:48,431
Well?

120
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:50,725
Notyet when?

121
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,518
When what?

122
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,145
(Clears throat)

123
00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:55,313
When what?

124
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,398
You know this can't go on.

125
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,985
What can't go on? We
have to put an end to this.

126
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,196
Seems like... Michael: Come on.

127
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,741
You guys should be
hearing what I'm saying.

128
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,870
This is really not how
this is supposed to happen.

129
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:13,193
Angela said she was gonna
tell him. She's just not ready.

130
00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:15,166
When will she be ready?
I don't know.

131
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,417
Is she crazy in bed? Yes.

132
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,561
Stop. What?
How so, specifically?

133
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:18,878
Okay, listen.

134
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,522
This shouldn't happen at
work. Eager and flexible.

135
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,672
And... really?

136
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,941
This shouldn't be
coming from his boss.

137
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:26,052
And we should also consider the
fact that that man has an anger issue.

138
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,762
Too late.
Well, it's not too late

139
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,515
'cause you haven't done
anything. I am already walking.

140
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,351
Nhchael once
this gets out... yes?

141
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,186
I don't know how
it's gonna go down.

142
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:36,979
Okay, what does that mean?

143
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,731
Might get ugly.

144
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:42,985
Jim, this has to get out
so we can all deal with it.

145
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,279
But you're leaving.

146
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,450
Dwhght: Have agoodtnp thanks

147
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:51,994
Andy? Yeah?

148
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,371
Walk with me.

149
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:54,622
Will do, boss man.

150
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:08,469
(Exclaims) I do not
have much time.

151
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:11,889
Car's all the way over there.

152
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:15,309
To tell you what
I have to tell you.

153
00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:20,481
And just bear in mind
that when I say these things

154
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:26,737
that are bad things that
you hear in your ears,

155
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:30,408
this is something that I,

156
00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,952
if I were you,
that I wouldn't want to hear.

157
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,245
You're not making any sense.

158
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:37,623
Well, no, I'm not.

159
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,918
So I, I'm not
very articulate today,

160
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:43,421
so I'll just leave it
for another time.

161
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,090
Another day. All righty.

162
00:07:46,173 --> 00:07:48,259
Which will be fine. I am off.

163
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,761
Have a good meeting. Thank you.

164
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,097
Kick Wallace's ass.

165
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:55,349
Okay, I will.

166
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,936
Dwight and Angela are
having an affair, so...

167
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,731
I can't hear you
through the glass.

168
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,774
Dwight and Angela
are having an affair.

169
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,277
They've been sleeping
together for some time.

170
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,238
That was the news.
I wanted to let you know.

171
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,741
All right. See you later. What?

172
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,787
Yeah. Are you serious?

173
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,809
I knew something bad
was gonna happen today.

174
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:39,936
You said that yesterday.

175
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,979
Yeah, my neighbor got murdered.

176
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,189
What are you standing for?

177
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:46,150
If I'm sitting, I can't
disable his neck or his groin.

178
00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:48,253
You're not gonna do anything
to his neck or his groin.

179
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:50,655
If I'm sitting, I don't
have the option to.

180
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:54,742
Dwight, I'm in charge while
Michael's gone, and I need you to sit.

181
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,843
I need to talk to you.

182
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,095
We can talk right here.

183
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,514
I need to talk to you
in private.

184
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:17,597
We're not listening.

185
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,059
Let's go to the conference room.

186
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,855
Is it true?

187
00:09:25,272 --> 00:09:27,566
What have you heard? That
you're sleeping with Dwight.

188
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,110
That doesn't sound like me.

189
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,194
Is it true?

190
00:09:30,277 --> 00:09:32,071
Andy, I'm engaged to you.

191
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,865
I mean, we just signed
off on our wedding flowers.

192
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,826
Would I have said yes
to formal chrysanthemums

193
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,202
if I didn't want to get married?

194
00:09:38,285 --> 00:09:40,389
And we went through all that
stuff with our wedding cake.

195
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,874
Just answer the question.
Are you sleeping with Dwight?

196
00:09:45,292 --> 00:09:46,752
A little bit.

197
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:49,964
How long has this been going on?

198
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,215
I don't know.

199
00:09:51,298 --> 00:09:54,051
I mean, we were together,
and then he killed sprinkles,

200
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,970
and then we stopped and...

201
00:09:57,346 --> 00:10:00,057
I don't know exactly
when we started up again.

202
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,225
Who else knows about it?

203
00:10:01,308 --> 00:10:02,393
Michael.

204
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:03,978
Who else?

205
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:06,689
Let me think about it. I, um...

206
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,107
They're...

207
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,276
Andy: Oh, god.

208
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,069
Come on!

209
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:17,491
So listen, Michael, your branch
has been doing great lately,

210
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:21,245
and your sales staff is
reporting very strong numbers.

211
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,165
Outperforming last year,
in fact.

212
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:28,335
And I don't know
exactly how to put this,

213
00:10:29,336 --> 00:10:35,051
but what are you doing right?

214
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:37,803
Right what?

215
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,972
Utica, Albany, all the other
branches are struggling,

216
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:43,809
but your branch is
reporting strong numbers.

217
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,228
Look, you're not
our most traditional guy,

218
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:50,149
but clearly something
you are doing is right,

219
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:53,360
andljust_ I need to get
a sense of what that is.

220
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:59,116
David, here it is. My
philosophy is basically this.

221
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,161
And this is something
that I live by,

222
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,371
and I always have,
and I always will.

223
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:11,212
Don't ever, for any reason,
do anything to anyone

224
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:17,593
for any reason ever, no
matter what, no matter where,

225
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:23,933
or who, or who you are
with, or where you are going,

226
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:27,269
or where you've been

227
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,190
even

228
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,984
for any reason whatsoever...

229
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,868
Sometimes I'll start a sentence and
I don't even know where it's going.

230
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,490
I just hope I find
it along the way.

231
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:41,075
Like an improv conversation.

232
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,619
An improversation.

233
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:45,847
This is gonna sound
sort of high maintenance,

234
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,249
but could we have it, like,
three degrees cooler in here?

235
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,835
I always think better
when it's cooler.

236
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,629
Here's the thing, Michael
is doing something right,

237
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,548
and in this economic climate,

238
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:58,008
no method of success
can be ignored.

239
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,512
It's not really a time for executives
to start getting judgmental now.

240
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,013
It's hail Mary time.

241
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:06,058
Hey, what say
we order up some pasta?

242
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,186
What say we do.

243
00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:12,940
Standard, you know.
Nothing fancy.

244
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:14,316
So, like, missionary?

245
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,193
I said nothing fancy.

246
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,570
Do you love him?

247
00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:19,363
I love you.

248
00:12:19,446 --> 00:12:21,031
Why should I believe that?

249
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,660
Andy, we are at
a crossroads here,

250
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,122
and we can either give in
to what people are saying,

251
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:29,582
that we're not good together...

252
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:30,708
Who says that?

253
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:33,085
Or we can prove them wrong.

254
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,046
Let's prove them wrong.

255
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,472
Where's Dwight?

256
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,891
You okay, man?

257
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:51,562
No, not at all, actually. But
thanks for asking. Appreciate it.

258
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:53,665
You know what? I'd also
like to take this opportunity

259
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,984
to thank all of you
for lying to my face

260
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,796
and not telling me what's
been going on this entire time.

261
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:01,405
You are welcome.

262
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,162
Dwight.

263
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:10,998
Andy.

264
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:14,084
It's over.

265
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,753
Good. She broke up with you.

266
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,839
No, it's over between you two.

267
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:22,301
No way. I am not giving up.

268
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:24,720
You haveto. No, ldont

269
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:28,432
she doesn't love you.
She's marrying me.

270
00:13:28,515 --> 00:13:29,767
Well, I don't know about that

271
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:34,396
because she certainly seems to
enjoy making lovemaking with me.

272
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,106
Angela Bernard...

273
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,192
Will never be her name.

274
00:13:38,525 --> 00:13:41,654
Will be her name and you
will have to call her that.

275
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,030
I don't think so.

276
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:46,200
Hey, guys. Why don't
we just cool off a bit?

277
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,443
I'm telling you to back down.

278
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,095
And I'm telling you that
I will never back down.

279
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,120
Then I'll make you.

280
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,765
Oh, really? How are
you going to do that?

281
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:53,123
Through the use of force.

282
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,458
That is very general

283
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:56,019
and does not scare me
in the slightest.

284
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:57,461
I will fight you.

285
00:13:57,544 --> 00:14:00,798
Nope. Okay, fine. Good! A duel.

286
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:03,008
The winner gets Angela. Fine!

287
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,551
Fine! This is nuts.

288
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,112
What is your weapon?
Okay, you know what?

289
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,179
That's enough because_.

290
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,365
Hey, this is none
of your business.

291
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,766
Hey, it is my business
what happens at work.

292
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,227
Guess what? Not
happening at work. Yes.

293
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,104
We're gonna do it
outside. Outside of work.

294
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:18,482
None of your business.
None of your business, then.

295
00:14:18,565 --> 00:14:20,025
Good, so what weapon?

296
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,151
My bare hands.

297
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:24,154
That is stupid. I will use a sword,
and I will cutoff your bare hands.

298
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:25,614
Then I'll get something, too.

299
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,325
I've had two men
fight over me before.

300
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,953
Usually it's over which one
gets to hold the camcorder.

301
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,206
Angela, you have to put
a stop to this right now.

302
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,587
I will respect the
results of the duel.

303
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,382
Of course you will. Icahlosen

304
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:48,429
I will be taking my break
at 4:00 in the parking lot.

305
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,140
I will also be taking my break

306
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:54,101
at the exact same time
and in the same location.

307
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,271
What a coincidence. Hmm.

308
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:09,408
So, I either get more
involved or I take a sick day.

309
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:10,909
(Chuckles)

310
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:14,538
Leaving Dwight in charge.
Oh, god.

311
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,134
How'd that get there?

312
00:15:31,638 --> 00:15:34,141
There's a star-shaped thing
taped under the kitchen table.

313
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,851
Thanks, Meredith.

314
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,645
So I was in the office,

315
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:44,485
and I look over to our accounting
division, and there's Kevin Malone.

316
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:48,405
Kevin is wearing a jacket
that I've never seen before,

317
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,075
and I call over to Kevin,

318
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:55,329
"Kevin, is that a tweed jacket?"

319
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,247
And he looks at me and he says,

320
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,583
"Michael, yes,
it is a tweed jacket."

321
00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:01,627
And I look back
at him and I say,

322
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:06,215
"I feel the need,
the need for tweed."

323
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,389
It's hard to try and
evaluate yourself, Michael,

324
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,638
but I appreciate you trying.

325
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,391
And thanks for coming in. Oh!

326
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,267
Thank you. Yes.

327
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,103
I have to say, I am so impressed

328
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,647
with the potential
you see in me.

329
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,691
Yeah. Okay.

330
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,533
Yeah, finish up.

331
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:37,079
Come on! Where are you?

332
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,207
Let's do this thing!

333
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,544
Come on! Come on out!

334
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,047
I can't believe they're
gonna fight over me.

335
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,384
I guess people have fewer
choices as they get older.

336
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:51,844
Dwight: Come on!

337
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,804
Hey, has anything happened yet?

338
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:55,305
Dwight: Where are you?
It's 4:10.

339
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:56,449
I don't think he's gonna show.

340
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:59,476
Oh, come on, man.
Believe in something.

341
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:06,066
Come on, coward!
Where are you? Where...

342
00:17:12,739 --> 00:17:14,324
"From the desk
of Andrew Bernard."

343
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:15,742
(Scoffs)

344
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,870
A note. Pathetic.

345
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:23,709
"Dear Dwight, by now you have
received my note. How are you? I am well.

346
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,378
"You are no doubt wondering
why I have left this note.

347
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,815
"It's come to my attention that
in any physical match with you,

348
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,133
"I would surely
be bested." True.

349
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:36,096
"The soft underbelly of my refined
upbringing is my soft underbelly."

350
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,348
Kelly: There's Andy.
He's in his car.

351
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,725
You guys, what is he doing?

352
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,435
Why isn't Dwight turning around?

353
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:44,980
The prius is silent if he keeps
it under five miles per hour.

354
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,356
He deserves the win.

355
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,084
Dwight: "Alas, after
much consideration..."

356
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,276
Oh, my god!

357
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,360
What's happening?

358
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,738
Phyllis: Andy's running
over Dwight with his car.

359
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:55,657
Whoa! What are you... hey, hey!

360
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:56,742
Yeah!

361
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:57,868
(All exclaiming)

362
00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:58,952
Come on! Ow!

363
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:00,996
Pam: My god.

364
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:03,957
You give up? Neveh

365
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,792
get out and face me like a man!

366
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,712
I am a man! I'm a bigger
man than you'll ever be!

367
00:18:08,795 --> 00:18:10,964
I would never sleep
with another man's fiancee!

368
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:14,218
You're not a man! You don't
know how to take care of her!

369
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,845
All you do is
dress fancy and sing.

370
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,764
(Sings mockingly)

371
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:19,932
What does that mean?

372
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,391
You can't even protect her!

373
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:24,102
Protect her from what?
Bears, you idiot?

374
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,396
When's the last time you
saw a damn bear in Scranton?

375
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,357
Last year, idiot!

376
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,817
Dwight, are your legs broken?

377
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,741
No, my right one's
falling asleep a little bit.

378
00:18:32,819 --> 00:18:33,904
Andy, are you all right?

379
00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:36,073
Go away, tuna! I'm winning this!

380
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:38,158
Dwight: Yeah, back off.
This isn't your fight.

381
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,078
Oh! How much is this
gonna cost? Oh!

382
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,455
What? Trust fund'll
take care of that.

383
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,999
What did you say? I'm
sorry, I couldn't hear you.

384
00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:47,501
(Horn honking) Isaid...

385
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,795
What? You stupid idiot!

386
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:52,440
You're like a big... you're like a
sasquatch. You live in the woods!

387
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:55,259
Dwight: Sasquatches are the
strongest animal on the planet!

388
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,344
So fine, call me a sasquatch.

389
00:18:57,427 --> 00:19:00,264
I don't get it! How could she be
sleeping with you this whole time

390
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,891
and only sleep with me twice?

391
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,893
What? What?

392
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,895
She's sleeping with you?

393
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,731
I'm her fiance.

394
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,650
She said she was only
sleeping with me.

395
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:58,196
Yes, hi,
my last name is Bernard,

396
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:02,075
and I would like to cancel a
wedding cake that I had ordered.

397
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:07,748
B-e-r-n-a-r-d.

398
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:12,210
Yeah, one shaped
like a sailboat.

399
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,423
Yep, that's the one.

400
00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:19,509
Thank you.

401
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,181
Wow, what a day.

402
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:25,264
(Laughs)

403
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,017
I thought I was
gonna get chewed out,

404
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,854
but hold on, here's an
attaboy for you. What?

405
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,608
Rollercoaster ride.
Rollercoaster.

406
00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:39,154
It just goes to show, you leave
Scranton, exciting things can happen.

407
00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:40,947
(Sighing)