1 00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,048 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 2 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,134 I'm sorry, he's not in yet. 3 00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:11,344 Would you like his voicemail? 4 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,513 Michael: Yeah! 5 00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:16,516 Yeah! Yeah! Okay. 6 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,145 Twelve miles an hour. 7 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,230 Eat that, Carl Lewis! 8 00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:25,567 Angela made several 911 calls about cars 9 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,569 going too fast in front of the building, 10 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,988 so the police put up a radar gun. 11 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,783 It's actually caused a bit of a traffic hazard. 12 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:38,913 Wow, 13. 13 00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:40,748 No, no, no. Dwhght1yeam 14 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,625 there was wind. I was just jogging. 15 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,502 Dwight, there was wind. I want a do over. 16 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,772 No, no, no, it's not your turn. All right, 13 is the new number. 17 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:47,839 Oscar, go ahead. 18 00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:50,258 I want another try. Here we go! 19 00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,846 Thirty-one! 31! 20 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:56,014 Stanley: There was a car. 21 00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,266 I was ahead of the car. Thirty-one is my new number. 22 00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,684 Thirty-one is humanly impossible. 23 00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:01,686 Go, Oscar. Thirty-one is my number. 24 00:01:01,769 --> 00:01:03,771 That's impossible. Beat it! 25 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,795 Michael: Today's 3 big day. My presence has been requested 26 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:33,301 by chief financial officer, David Wallace. 27 00:01:35,803 --> 00:01:39,307 He says that he wants to talk about big picture stuff, 28 00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:43,728 and, I'll be honest, I have little or no idea what that means. 29 00:01:43,811 --> 00:01:46,314 So, probably bad. 30 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,777 Quick announcement. New year, new candy. 31 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,113 Okay, be careful, Kevin. They're kind of spicy. 32 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,448 Hot tamales. 33 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,658 Yeah. Uh-oh. 34 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,368 So maybe just try one at first, 35 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,912 and then if it's okay, have a couple more. 36 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:04,165 Excuse me, everyone, can I have the floor, please? 37 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,836 This is insanely awkward. 38 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:12,590 It's kind of the elephant in the room, so I'll just... 39 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,719 No one has rsvped to our wedding yet, 40 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,638 and the deadline was yesterday. 41 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:20,866 Wait, you still don't know... 42 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,892 No, no.No. 43 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:25,799 Nothing. You still don't know... 44 00:02:25,853 --> 00:02:27,453 Why don't... let's... What are you doing? 45 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,750 How about we just... I just have to talk to you for a second. 46 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,025 Andy. Has... ah. 47 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,027 No. No one has rsvped, 48 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,530 and I don't understand it, and now you're shutting me out. 49 00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:38,491 You're not even listening, and that's really considerate. Thank you. 50 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:39,784 No, what I'm saying... no, no. 51 00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:40,952 No, that's not... I know... 52 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,872 Andy still doesn't know that Angela is having an affair with Dwight. 53 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:48,001 And it's been 17 days. 54 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,003 I mean, eventually he'll figure it out 55 00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:53,631 when their kids have giant heads and beet-stained teeth. 56 00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:56,301 But right now, it's just awkward. 57 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,803 How can he still not know? 58 00:02:58,886 --> 00:03:00,888 We can't figure that out. I can't take it anymore. 59 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,599 Wait, what? You can't take what? 60 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:03,725 I'm telling Andy, Dwight. 61 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:04,930 No, you can't do that. Yes. 62 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,954 It shouldn't come from you. Who should it come from, then? 63 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,021 All: Angela. Angela. 64 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,731 From Angela. Angela. 65 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:12,900 Are you still having intercourse with her? 66 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:16,154 What is wrong with you? She is engaged. 67 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,240 Did you ever have intercourse in this office? 68 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,785 Are you serious? 69 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:25,747 Where? 70 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,625 Where? 71 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,129 Where, Dwight? 72 00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:35,882 Seems like you already know where. 73 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,638 Kevin, you screwed this form up again. 74 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,556 The amount owed goes at the top. 75 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,017 Oh, I'm sorry. 76 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,978 I didn't realize I was doing something wrong. 77 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:54,067 If I had, I would have admitted it and stopped right away. 78 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,193 That's enough. 79 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:58,529 Because I wouldn't want an innocent person 80 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:01,449 who doesn't know anything about the form... 81 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,204 What? 82 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,455 That was good. 83 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,184 It's just at the end you weren't saying something 84 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,335 that could also apply to the form. 85 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,544 How about, 86 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:17,173 "I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form"? 87 00:04:17,256 --> 00:04:18,716 Oscar: There you go. 88 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,429 That cannot be true! 89 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:27,642 You're going to charge me a fee to cut my own cake? 90 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,353 No, no, no, no. 91 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,914 What I'm saying is I want to cut it myself. 92 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:32,980 Trade seats with me. 93 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,858 I've got a better angle on Pam. 94 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,443 I can see everything. 95 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,903 Please stop. 96 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,159 I need a soup spoon. 97 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:49,831 Dwight: Rule 17, don't turn your back on bears, men you have wronged, 98 00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:52,166 or the dominant Turkey during mating season. 99 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:56,421 There are 40 rules all schrute boys must learn before the age of five. 100 00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,758 Learn your rules you better learn your rules 101 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,845 if you don't you'll be eaten in your sleep 102 00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:19,694 What is it? 103 00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:21,446 You've gotta tell Andy about us. 104 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,656 That is a terrible idea. One of your worst. 105 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,908 Get it over with. Then we don't have to hide anymore. 106 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,660 You're expanding on your worst idea. 107 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,162 Do you love me or not? 108 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,080 I've already admitted that I do. 109 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,040 Why do you keep making me repeat it? 110 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,418 Because you're engaged to Andy. 111 00:05:47,054 --> 00:05:48,431 Well? 112 00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:50,725 Notyet when? 113 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,518 When what? 114 00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:55,313 When what? 115 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,398 You know this can't go on. 116 00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,985 What can't go on? We have to put an end to this. 117 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,196 Seems like... Michael: Come on. 118 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,741 You guys should be hearing what I'm saying. 119 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,870 This is really not how this is supposed to happen. 120 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:13,193 Angela said she was gonna tell him. She's just not ready. 121 00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:15,166 When will she be ready? I don't know. 122 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,417 Is she crazy in bed? Yes. 123 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,561 Stop. What? How so, specifically? 124 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:18,878 Okay, listen. 125 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,522 This shouldn't happen at work. Eager and flexible. 126 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,672 And... really? 127 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,941 This shouldn't be coming from his boss. 128 00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:26,052 And we should also consider the fact that that man has an anger issue. 129 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,762 Too late. Well, it's not too late 130 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,515 'cause you haven't done anything. I am already walking. 131 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,351 Nhchael once this gets out... yes? 132 00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,186 I don't know how it's gonna go down. 133 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:36,979 Okay, what does that mean? 134 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,731 Might get ugly. 135 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:42,985 Jim, this has to get out so we can all deal with it. 136 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,279 But you're leaving. 137 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,450 Dwhght: Have agoodtnp thanks 138 00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:51,994 Andy? Yeah? 139 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,371 Walk with me. 140 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:54,622 Will do, boss man. 141 00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:08,469 I do not have much time. 142 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:11,889 Car's all the way over there. 143 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:15,309 To tell you what I have to tell you. 144 00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:20,481 And just bear in mind that when I say these things 145 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:26,737 that are bad things that you hear in your ears, 146 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:30,408 this is something that I, 147 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,952 if I were you, that I wouldn't want to hear. 148 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,245 You're not making any sense. 149 00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:37,623 Well, no, I'm not. 150 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,918 So I, I'm not very articulate today, 151 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:43,421 so I'll just leave it for another time. 152 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,090 Another day. All righty. 153 00:07:46,173 --> 00:07:48,259 Which will be fine. I am off. 154 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,761 Have a good meeting. Thank you. 155 00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,097 Kick Wallace's ass. 156 00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:55,349 Okay, I will. 157 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,936 Dwight and Angela are having an affair, so... 158 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,731 I can't hear you through the glass. 159 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,774 Dwight and Angela are having an affair. 160 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,277 They've been sleeping together for some time. 161 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,238 That was the news. I wanted to let you know. 162 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,741 All right. See you later. What? 163 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,787 Yeah. Are you serious? 164 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,809 I knew something bad was gonna happen today. 165 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:39,936 You said that yesterday. 166 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,979 Yeah, my neighbor got murdered. 167 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,189 What are you standing for? 168 00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:46,150 If I'm sitting, I can't disable his neck or his groin. 169 00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:48,253 You're not gonna do anything to his neck or his groin. 170 00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:50,655 If I'm sitting, I don't have the option to. 171 00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:54,742 Dwight, I'm in charge while Michael's gone, and I need you to sit. 172 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,843 I need to talk to you. 173 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,095 We can talk right here. 174 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,514 I need to talk to you in private. 175 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:17,597 We're not listening. 176 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,059 Let's go to the conference room. 177 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,855 Is it true? 178 00:09:25,272 --> 00:09:27,566 What have you heard? That you're sleeping with Dwight. 179 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,110 That doesn't sound like me. 180 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,194 Is it true? 181 00:09:30,277 --> 00:09:32,071 Andy, I'm engaged to you. 182 00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,865 I mean, we just signed off on our wedding flowers. 183 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,826 Would I have said yes to formal chrysanthemums 184 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,202 if I didn't want to get married? 185 00:09:38,285 --> 00:09:40,389 And we went through all that stuff with our wedding cake. 186 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,874 Just answer the question. Are you sleeping with Dwight? 187 00:09:45,292 --> 00:09:46,752 A little bit. 188 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:49,964 How long has this been going on? 189 00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,215 I don't know. 190 00:09:51,298 --> 00:09:54,051 I mean, we were together, and then he killed sprinkles, 191 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,970 and then we stopped and... 192 00:09:57,346 --> 00:10:00,057 I don't know exactly when we started up again. 193 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,225 Who else knows about it? 194 00:10:01,308 --> 00:10:02,393 Michael. 195 00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:03,978 Who else? 196 00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:06,689 Let me think about it. I, um... 197 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,107 They're... 198 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,276 Andy: Oh, god. 199 00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,069 Come on! 200 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:17,491 So listen, Michael, your branch has been doing great lately, 201 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:21,245 and your sales staff is reporting very strong numbers. 202 00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,165 Outperforming last year, in fact. 203 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:28,335 And I don't know exactly how to put this, 204 00:10:29,336 --> 00:10:35,051 but what are you doing right? 205 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:37,803 Right what? 206 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,972 Utica, Albany, all the other branches are struggling, 207 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:43,809 but your branch is reporting strong numbers. 208 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,228 Look, you're not our most traditional guy, 209 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:50,149 but clearly something you are doing is right, 210 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:53,360 andljust_ I need to get a sense of what that is. 211 00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:59,116 David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. 212 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,161 And this is something that I live by, 213 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,371 and I always have, and I always will. 214 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:11,212 Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone 215 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:17,593 for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, 216 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:23,933 or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, 217 00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:27,269 or where you've been 218 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,190 even 219 00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,984 for any reason whatsoever... 220 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,868 Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. 221 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,490 I just hope I find it along the way. 222 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:41,075 Like an improv conversation. 223 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,619 An improversation. 224 00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:45,847 This is gonna sound sort of high maintenance, 225 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,249 but could we have it, like, three degrees cooler in here? 226 00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,835 I always think better when it's cooler. 227 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,629 Here's the thing, Michael is doing something right, 228 00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,548 and in this economic climate, 229 00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:58,008 no method of success can be ignored. 230 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,512 It's not really a time for executives to start getting judgmental now. 231 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,013 It's hail Mary time. 232 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:06,058 Hey, what say we order up some pasta? 233 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,186 What say we do. 234 00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:12,940 Standard, you know. Nothing fancy. 235 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:14,316 So, like, missionary? 236 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,193 I said nothing fancy. 237 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,570 Do you love him? 238 00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:19,363 I love you. 239 00:12:19,446 --> 00:12:21,031 Why should I believe that? 240 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,660 Andy, we are at a crossroads here, 241 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,122 and we can either give in to what people are saying, 242 00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:29,582 that we're not good together... 243 00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:30,708 Who says that? 244 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:33,085 Or we can prove them wrong. 245 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,046 Let's prove them wrong. 246 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,472 Where's Dwight? 247 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,891 You okay, man? 248 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:51,562 No, not at all, actually. But thanks for asking. Appreciate it. 249 00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:53,665 You know what? I'd also like to take this opportunity 250 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,984 to thank all of you for lying to my face 251 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,796 and not telling me what's been going on this entire time. 252 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:01,405 You are welcome. 253 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,162 Dwight. 254 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:10,998 Andy. 255 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:14,084 It's over. 256 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,753 Good. She broke up with you. 257 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,839 No, it's over between you two. 258 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:22,301 No way. I am not giving up. 259 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:24,720 You haveto. No, ldont 260 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:28,432 she doesn't love you. She's marrying me. 261 00:13:28,515 --> 00:13:29,767 Well, I don't know about that 262 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:34,396 because she certainly seems to enjoy making lovemaking with me. 263 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,106 Angela Bernard... 264 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,192 Will never be her name. 265 00:13:38,525 --> 00:13:41,654 Will be her name and you will have to call her that. 266 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,030 I don't think so. 267 00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:46,200 Hey, guys. Why don't we just cool off a bit? 268 00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,443 I'm telling you to back down. 269 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,095 And I'm telling you that I will never back down. 270 00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,120 Then I'll make you. 271 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,765 Oh, really? How are you going to do that? 272 00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:53,123 Through the use of force. 273 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,458 That is very general 274 00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:56,019 and does not scare me in the slightest. 275 00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:57,461 I will fight you. 276 00:13:57,544 --> 00:14:00,798 Nope. Okay, fine. Good! A duel. 277 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:03,008 The winner gets Angela. Fine! 278 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,551 Fine! This is nuts. 279 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,112 What is your weapon? Okay, you know what? 280 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,179 That's enough because_. 281 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,365 Hey, this is none of your business. 282 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,766 Hey, it is my business what happens at work. 283 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,227 Guess what? Not happening at work. Yes. 284 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,104 We're gonna do it outside. Outside of work. 285 00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:18,482 None of your business. None of your business, then. 286 00:14:18,565 --> 00:14:20,025 Good, so what weapon? 287 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,151 My bare hands. 288 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:24,154 That is stupid. I will use a sword, and I will cutoff your bare hands. 289 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:25,614 Then I'll get something, too. 290 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,325 I've had two men fight over me before. 291 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,953 Usually it's over which one gets to hold the camcorder. 292 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,206 Angela, you have to put a stop to this right now. 293 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,587 I will respect the results of the duel. 294 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,382 Of course you will. Icahlosen 295 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:48,429 I will be taking my break at 4:00 in the parking lot. 296 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,140 I will also be taking my break 297 00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:54,101 at the exact same time and in the same location. 298 00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,271 What a coincidence. Hmm. 299 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:09,408 So, I either get more involved or I take a sick day. 300 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:14,538 Leaving Dwight in charge. Oh, god. 301 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,134 How'd that get there? 302 00:15:31,638 --> 00:15:34,141 There's a star-shaped thing taped under the kitchen table. 303 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,851 Thanks, Meredith. 304 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,645 So I was in the office, 305 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:44,485 and I look over to our accounting division, and there's Kevin Malone. 306 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:48,405 Kevin is wearing a jacket that I've never seen before, 307 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,075 and I call over to Kevin, 308 00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:55,329 "Kevin, is that a tweed jacket?" 309 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,247 And he looks at me and he says, 310 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,583 "Michael, yes, it is a tweed jacket." 311 00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:01,627 And I look back at him and I say, 312 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:06,215 "I feel the need, the need for tweed." 313 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,389 It's hard to try and evaluate yourself, Michael, 314 00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,638 but I appreciate you trying. 315 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,391 And thanks for coming in. Oh! 316 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,267 Thank you. Yes. 317 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,103 I have to say, I am so impressed 318 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,647 with the potential you see in me. 319 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,691 Yeah. Okay. 320 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,533 Yeah, finish up. 321 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:37,079 Come on! Where are you? 322 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,207 Let's do this thing! 323 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,544 Come on! Come on out! 324 00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,047 I can't believe they're gonna fight over me. 325 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,384 I guess people have fewer choices as they get older. 326 00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:51,844 Dwight: Come on! 327 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,804 Hey, has anything happened yet? 328 00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:55,305 Dwight: Where are you? It's 4:10. 329 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:56,449 I don't think he's gonna show. 330 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:59,476 Oh, come on, man. Believe in something. 331 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:06,066 Come on, coward! Where are you? Where... 332 00:17:12,739 --> 00:17:14,324 "From the desk of Andrew Bernard." 333 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,870 A note. Pathetic. 334 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:23,709 "Dear Dwight, by now you have received my note. How are you? I am well. 335 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,378 "You are no doubt wondering why I have left this note. 336 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,815 "It's come to my attention that in any physical match with you, 337 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,133 "I would surely be bested." True. 338 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:36,096 "The soft underbelly of my refined upbringing is my soft underbelly." 339 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,348 Kelly: There's Andy. He's in his car. 340 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,725 You guys, what is he doing? 341 00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,435 Why isn't Dwight turning around? 342 00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:44,980 The prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour. 343 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,356 He deserves the win. 344 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,084 Dwight: "Alas, after much consideration..." 345 00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,276 Oh, my god! 346 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,360 What's happening? 347 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,738 Phyllis: Andy's running over Dwight with his car. 348 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:55,657 Whoa! What are you... hey, hey! 349 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:56,742 Yeah! 350 00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:58,952 Come on! Ow! 351 00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:00,996 Pam: My god. 352 00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:03,957 You give up? Neveh 353 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,792 get out and face me like a man! 354 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,712 I am a man! I'm a bigger man than you'll ever be! 355 00:18:08,795 --> 00:18:10,964 I would never sleep with another man's fiancee! 356 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:14,218 You're not a man! You don't know how to take care of her! 357 00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,845 All you do is dress fancy and sing. 358 00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:19,932 What does that mean? 359 00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,391 You can't even protect her! 360 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:24,102 Protect her from what? Bears, you idiot? 361 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,396 When's the last time you saw a damn bear in Scranton? 362 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,357 Last year, idiot! 363 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,817 Dwight, are your legs broken? 364 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,741 No, my right one's falling asleep a little bit. 365 00:18:32,819 --> 00:18:33,904 Andy, are you all right? 366 00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:36,073 Go away, tuna! I'm winning this! 367 00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:38,158 Dwight: Yeah, back off. This isn't your fight. 368 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,078 Oh! How much is this gonna cost? Oh! 369 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,455 What? Trust fund'll take care of that. 370 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,999 What did you say? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. 371 00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:47,501 Isaid... 372 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,795 What? You stupid idiot! 373 00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:52,440 You're like a big... you're like a sasquatch. You live in the woods! 374 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:55,259 Dwight: Sasquatches are the strongest animal on the planet! 375 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,344 So fine, call me a sasquatch. 376 00:18:57,427 --> 00:19:00,264 I don't get it! How could she be sleeping with you this whole time 377 00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,891 and only sleep with me twice? 378 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,893 What? What? 379 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,895 She's sleeping with you? 380 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,731 I'm her fiance. 381 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,650 She said she was only sleeping with me. 382 00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:58,196 Yes, hi, my last name is Bernard, 383 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:02,075 and I would like to cancel a wedding cake that I had ordered. 384 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:07,748 B-e-r-n-a-r-d. 385 00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:12,210 Yeah, one shaped like a sailboat. 386 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,423 Yep, that's the one. 387 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:19,509 Thank you. 388 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,181 Wow, what a day. 389 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,017 I thought I was gonna get chewed out, 390 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,854 but hold on, here's an attaboy for you. What? 391 00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,608 Rollercoaster ride. Rollercoaster. 392 00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:39,154 It just goes to show, you leave Scranton, exciting things can happen.