1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,378
(Phone ringing)

2
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,800
Pam, line three. Okay, thanks.

3
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:13,304
New York, as it turns out, is very
expensive, and I ran out of money.

4
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,974
I thought about
selling a kidney,

5
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:19,310
but Michael offered to get me
a part-time job at corporate.

6
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:22,480
Hey.

7
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:27,694
Michael.“ (on phone) Pamela!

8
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,196
Of course, now Michael
knows where to reach me

9
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,823
sixteen to 18 hours a week.

10
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:38,413
Hey, Michael. Pamela!

11
00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:44,335
Miss you, kiddo.
Miss you so much.

12
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:09,610
Hello. Hey.

13
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,547
That was really fun last
night. Yeah, it was nice.

14
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:14,657
I'm actually thinking about getting
my own set of "putt-putt" golf clubs.

15
00:01:14,782 --> 00:01:17,243
That would be great.
Youneedthat yeah?

16
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,369
Yeah. Really?

17
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:21,539
Yeah. It would help.
(Whispering) Well, I let her win.

18
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,041
(Whispering) No, he didn't.

19
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:27,212
So, when can I see you again?

20
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,172
Tonight. I'm free tonight.

21
00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:31,684
(Chuckles) Is that too eager?
(Chuckles) No.

22
00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:34,385
Okay. I don't care.
I'm free tonight.

23
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,972
Oh, wait. Tonight's no good.

24
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,808
Because I am busy
taking you out.

25
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:44,354
(Gasps) I just remembered.
I can't tonight.

26
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,606
I'm going out with you.

27
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:48,733
Wow.

28
00:01:48,816 --> 00:01:50,235
(Both chuckling)

29
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:54,364
Wait a second. I can't tonight.

30
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:55,769
No more. No more.
Tonight's so...

31
00:01:55,823 --> 00:01:57,951
All right. Too many times.

32
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:00,203
It's all good. All
right. So, good.

33
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,664
So have a nice day.
Thank you. You, too.

34
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:03,748
You're welcome.

35
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:11,381
In my opinion, the third date is
traditionally the one where you have sex.

36
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,468
Does Holly feel that
way? I don't know.

37
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,096
I will probably
find out tonight.

38
00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:22,016
If she starts having sex
with me, I'll know for sure.

39
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,520
That's for you, and...

40
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:30,108
I am right in assuming that
Dwight is short for d-money?

41
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:33,570
'Cause that's what I wrote
on your "save the date."

42
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,071
You set a date?

43
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:39,367
Andy: J-money. Or should
it be t-money, for tuna?

44
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:44,372
Receptionist-money.

45
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,750
K-money.

46
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,254
(Sighing) What are
you making? A knife.

47
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,339
You're making
a knife with a knife?

48
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,008
You got a better way?

49
00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:00,138
You want to talk about it?

50
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,222
About what?

51
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:05,393
You know I know.
You know they know.

52
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:12,900
I know none of that. And if I
did, you'd be the last to know.

53
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,155
The mail could be fun. Yeah!

54
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,699
We could go to the food
court, get different foods.

55
00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:22,160
You could get chicken
teriyaki, I could get a hot dog.

56
00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:25,496
Some of what we order depends
on if we're having sex after.

57
00:03:27,915 --> 00:03:30,668
(Laughing) I can't... oh, my...

58
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,004
Wow! Elephant in the room.

59
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:37,717
Are we, do you think? Do you
think we're going to have sex tonight?

60
00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:39,886
Hell, yeah.

61
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:41,304
(Inhaling sharply)

62
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,181
Okay. So, we do
the restaurant thing

63
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:47,018
and then... then we can do...
We'll just do the restaurant thing first.

64
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,519
Yeah, that's good.

65
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,775
Probably get soup,
or something light.

66
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,991
She introduced me
to so many things.

67
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,578
Pasteurized milk,
sheets, monotheism.

68
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,916
Presents on your birthday,
preventative medicine.

69
00:04:10,249 --> 00:04:11,459
It's nice to learn new things.

70
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,753
I was talking to myself. Okay.

71
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,465
I just don't get it.
What don't you get?

72
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,636
Why is she marrying Andy?

73
00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:25,848
Angela's not really a risk taker

74
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,726
and Andy's not really a risk.

75
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:34,774
That's really fattening.

76
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,818
(Sobbing) No, it's lettuce.

77
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:41,155
It's time to go? No.

78
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:42,824
Oh, okay. No.

79
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,202
Reservations are at 8:00 so
we've got an hour and 45 minutes.

80
00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:47,412
Okay.

81
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:49,747
(Exhales)

82
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,416
(Nasal voice)
Crazy eight! I'm crazy!

83
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,376
(Nasal voice)
You're crazy! Go crazy!

84
00:05:06,013 --> 00:05:07,682
I forgot my keys.

85
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,268
Do you need them?
Yeah, let's go grab them.

86
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,394
All right.

87
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,773
After vous. Thank vous.

88
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:25,950
(Chuckles) What?

89
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:28,619
Michael: Oh!

90
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:29,954
(Kissing)

91
00:05:30,037 --> 00:05:31,414
Holly: I didn't forget my keys,

92
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:34,792
(softly) I just didn't want to make
out with you in front of the cameras.

93
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:36,711
Do you think they can hear us?

94
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:40,089
Not if we turn these
dials all the way down.

95
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,382
(Volume increases)

96
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,885
Now they can't
hearusatau oh, good.

97
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,470
We're totally alone.

98
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:46,721
(Holly snickering)

99
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,101
(Chatter/n6 on pol/ce rad/o)

100
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,061
Angela: Yes, that's correct.

101
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,899
I need to cancel checks
from 10,001 to 90,000.

102
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:00,151
Great, they stole my laptop.

103
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:03,237
Yeah, well, they stole
my surge protector.

104
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,572
How does that even compare?

105
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:07,241
Oscar, I'm now going
to be prone to surges.

106
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,076
Oh, my god. What happened?

107
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,203
We were robbed last night.

108
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,579
Bravo, Watson.

109
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,539
Looks like a classic
seven-man job.

110
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,249
Okay, security tapes
were stolen.

111
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:19,629
Motives. Financial, or possibly
vintage HP computer collectors.

112
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:23,508
Hank down at security had
clocked out, and that's all we have.

113
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,344
Can I talk to you
for a second? Yeah.

114
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,638
(Groaning)

115
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:34,018
That wasn't us, right? I mean,
you remembered to lock the doors?

116
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:37,939
No, did you? (Whispering)
Michael, I think this is our fault.

117
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:41,150
Oh, no! Oh, my god.
Oh, my god! Oh, no.

118
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,820
So much for sex
without consequences.

119
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,573
Pam: (On phone)
You are such a dork. Shot!

120
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:51,369
(Chuckles) That's bad. So,
apparently, Pam went out last night

121
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:54,747
and accidentally called my work
phone at three in the morning.

122
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,374
I am not drunk.

123
00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:58,876
I am on minute six
of this message.

124
00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:01,546
(People laughing)
Okay, I do not sound like that.

125
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:04,507
Man.” take the girl out
of Philly... pa m: Scranton.

126
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,844
The future mother
of my children.

127
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,847
I never felt safe here.

128
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,181
You're always safe with me.

129
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:16,185
I'm a very good screamer. And
one day, we're going to move

130
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:20,314
to Disney's celebration village
in Florida and leave all this behind.

131
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:22,316
I would very much like that.

132
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,776
Yeah? Yeah.

133
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,654
(S I n g I n g)
Consider yourself at home

134
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,033
(groans)

135
00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:32,702
Get in.

136
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:36,831
Where are we going?

137
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:39,584
I know she loves me,
Phyllis. I am sure of it.

138
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,168
She practically told me so.

139
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,254
Then you need to
give her an ultimatum.

140
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:46,966
Tell her she needs to
make a choice. You or Andy.

141
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:50,011
If she picks you, great.
If not, you can move on.

142
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,637
Are you sure that's
going to work?

143
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:56,392
It did when Bob said I had to stop
talking to my sister on the phone so much.

144
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:00,855
Wait, this isn't our floor.
Dwight!

145
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,608
How's everyone doing?

146
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:07,111
My door is always open
if anyone wants to talk.

147
00:08:07,194 --> 00:08:09,780
I don't want to talk.
I want my laptop back.

148
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,700
Nobody steals from creed
Bratton and gets away it.

149
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:16,412
The last person
to do this disappeared.

150
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:17,747
His name?

151
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,040
(Whispering) Creed Bratton.

152
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:22,376
I'm going to make
everything all right. All right?

153
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:26,881
Conference room, 15 minutes.
Half an hour. All right?

154
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:32,470
To recoup their losses, I am
planning a little charity auction,

155
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:35,973
where people from all over
Scranton can come and bid

156
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,975
on our goods and services.

157
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:41,228
I'm calling it crime aid.
It's like farm aid,

158
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:44,023
but instead of farms
fighting against aids,

159
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:47,318
it is us, fighting
against our own poverty.

160
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,987
Ithmkitsafunidea thank you!

161
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,323
We could auction off things
that we do for each other,

162
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:56,035
like cleaning or tennis lessons.
My sorority did it all the time.

163
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:57,971
Okay. I'm going to have
to stop you right there.

164
00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:01,332
Was this the sorority that
you didn't get into a real sorority

165
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:03,417
so you had to kind of
form your own?

166
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,086
Move on, Michael. Okay.

167
00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:07,272
Okay, well, come on! Let's
have an auction! Let's do this!

168
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,132
We'll auction off people,
like in the olden days.

169
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:14,261
So, in order to recoup
the value of items we liked,

170
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,931
we have to spend more money
on things we don't want.

171
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,600
Who would ever come to this?
Michael: I don't know.

172
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:22,645
It could be any number of
people. It could be a pedestrian.

173
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:26,524
It could be an old person.
It could be a lookie loo.

174
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:31,404
Or it could be
a Bruce Springsteen fan. What?

175
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,699
Who said that? I did.
Why did I say that?

176
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,450
Oh, I think
you know why I said that.

177
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:40,454
I think it is very apparent. I
think it goes without saying...

178
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,790
Bear with me.
There's a point there.

179
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,668
"But what is the point? I don't
understand what he's saying.

180
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:48,587
"It seems a little shady.
It seems a little foggy."

181
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,483
Well, it's not a little foggy. There's
really something going on here.

182
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:53,926
Do you need us
for any of this? Do I?

183
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:58,014
Holly: Michael scored the
big-ticket item. Springsteen tickets.

184
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,598
The boss scored the boss.

185
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,892
Yeah, I think
that's pretty boss.

186
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,813
(Snickers) He knows
how to get things. He got me.

187
00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:10,401
Whoa! (Chuckles) Sorry.

188
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,195
Twice.

189
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:14,822
(Snickers)

190
00:10:15,322 --> 00:10:16,490
Right?

191
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:22,788
Listen to me close, 'cause
I'm only going to say this once.

192
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,416
You either break off your
engagement with that singing buffoon,

193
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,334
apologize, and then date me,

194
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:30,337
or you can say goodbye to this.

195
00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:35,177
I think you have me
confused with another person.

196
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,219
I said I was only
going to say it once.

197
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,096
You have until 6:14 pm.

198
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,308
6:14! I heard you!

199
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,018
Gonna have fun! Yeah!

200
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,853
(Rock music playing)

201
00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:51,233
I'll rock and roll you. Thank
you very much, everybody.

202
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,903
Thank you, Mr. Springsteen!

203
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,199
(Music stops)
And welcome to crime aid.

204
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:00,326
(Clears throat)

205
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:05,998
"Crime reduces innocence,
makes everyone angry, I declare."

206
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:13,631
It is not known how many office
robberies occur every second,

207
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:18,469
because there is no Wikipedia
entry for office robbery statistics.

208
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:22,932
However, tonight, its
victims are standing together

209
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:26,936
and standing strong
in the form of song,

210
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:32,441
cooking lessons and hugs.

211
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,402
Really, Phyllis,
you're auctioning a hug?

212
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:40,407
Okay, so with no further ado,
lights, camera, auction!

213
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,993
Take it away, Bruce!

214
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,912
(Rock music playing)

215
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,834
Darryl: Mike gave me a list
of his top 10 Springsteen songs.

216
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,253
Three of them were
huey Lewis and the news,

217
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:54,421
one was
Tracy Chapman's fast car,

218
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,299
and, my personal favorite,
short people.

219
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:03,222
(Music stops) Okay, this is the
moment that you've all been waiting for.

220
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:06,684
Our first item up
for bids tonight

221
00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:11,230
is something I consider
to be very boss indeed.

222
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:15,109
It is a yoga lesson
from Holly flax.

223
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:21,198
Yoga! I'd like to start
the bidding off at $300.

224
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,160
$300! Do I hear $300? $300.

225
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:27,037
Hey, batter, batter, batter.
Hey, batter, swing, batter! $300,

226
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,415
$300, $300. Anybody, $300?

227
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:33,335
$400. Who wants it for four?
Four, four... hitter, hitter...

228
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,461
(Mumbling)

229
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,439
Do I see somebody in the back?
Is there somebody in the back?

230
00:12:36,463 --> 00:12:40,009
Do I see somebody in the back?
$400! $450.

231
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,761
(Gavel squeaks)
Sold! For $300 to me!

232
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,015
What the hell is that? It's
the only gave! I could find.

233
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:48,058
It squeaks when you bang it.
That's what she said.

234
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,352
Let's hear it for me, right?

235
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,478
(People clapping)

236
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,731
A bargain at any price.

237
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,065
Darryl: Hey, Mike, do my thing.

238
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,151
Oh, yes, great, very good.

239
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:01,864
So, Darryl and the boys in
the hood in the warehouse

240
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:07,912
have graciously donated to "go
out for a beer with them right now."

241
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:11,040
You know what? I'm
actually going to bid on this.

242
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,374
I'm going to start the bidding

243
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,085
because this is something
that I've dreamt of.

244
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,922
Mike, you can't do this,
conflict of interest.

245
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,507
$5! Sold to Jim!

246
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,426
Jim: Okay. Okay, sold!

247
00:13:22,509 --> 00:13:23,928
(People clapping)

248
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,679
Have fun, you guys.

249
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:29,767
Well, this next item
is sure to spring steam

250
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:32,770
from your ears
if you don't win it.

251
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:36,565
It just says creed.
Yeah, that's all inclusive.

252
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,111
She thought I was McNabb.

253
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,321
(Laughing)

254
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,614
I can see that.

255
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,616
Yeah, what you going to do?

256
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:47,243
Another round, boys?

257
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,494
Great.

258
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,040
Roy: Halpert?
Darryl: What's up, Roy?

259
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,209
Hey, man.

260
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:02,383
Relax, man. I'm not going
to hit you. Oh, iwouldn't...

261
00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:04,885
(Clears throat)

262
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,247
You good? I'm
good. How you doing?

263
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:07,805
Good. I'm good.

264
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:09,074
Roy: Hey, Darryl.
What's happening?

265
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,242
Darryl: What's up?
How's it going, man?

266
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,306
Roy: Hey, what's up, guys?

267
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,351
Darryl: Where you been?

268
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,895
Hi. I'm Kevin.

269
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,314
I'll do your taxes.

270
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:21,777
Let's hear an opening bid, everybody.
Who's first? Kevin doing your taxes.

271
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,072
He's the tax man!
Kevin the tax man.

272
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,825
Federal and state.
Federal and state.

273
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:35,165
Fine. Okay. All right.
Okay. You know what?

274
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:39,420
I would appreciate it if people
would stop storming off the stage.

275
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,256
(Playing blues music on guitar)

276
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,678
(Watch alarm beeping)

277
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,827
Man: (Singing) Me and the blues

278
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,040
just me and the blues

279
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,670
we are getting there,
folks, slow and steady.

280
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:25,049
Well, well, have we
been blessed today?

281
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:28,510
(All clapping) Ladies and
gentlemen, Mr. David Wallace!

282
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,594
(Whoops)

283
00:15:29,636 --> 00:15:30,679
Hey! Thank you, Michael.

284
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:31,930
Thanks. Thanks, everybody.

285
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:35,392
I'd like to auction off a weekend
at my place in Martha's vineyard.

286
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,977
Hey, hey! $100.

287
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,896
$100. Great! $125.

288
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,981
Michael: $125. $140. $140.

289
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:44,026
Phyllis, someone let the air
out of your tires. Come quick.

290
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,545
Oh, dear.
Michael: Who else? Who else?

291
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:47,088
Keep it going! Hey, batter,
batter, hey. Bob Vance: $160.

292
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,113
$160.

293
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:51,283
I had to get your attention.
This is an emergency.

294
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,762
Why couldn't you have just
said it? Why did you actually do it?

295
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,955
Listen! She ignored
my ultimatum. Now what?

296
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,916
Now you move on.

297
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,626
Okay, fine, I've moved on.

298
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,170
Now how do I get her back?

299
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:07,257
Dwight, I don't think you do. I
think you've got your answer.

300
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:10,886
What, that's it?
That's your advice?

301
00:16:11,678 --> 00:16:14,098
I thought you had some
kind of big master plan.

302
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:18,852
Well, I just think we all deserve to be
with someone who wants to be with us.

303
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:21,605
I get it.

304
00:16:21,688 --> 00:16:25,109
You're trying to secure your place as
head of the party planning committee.

305
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:27,194
You're just being selfish.

306
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,615
And you slap like a girl.

307
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:39,415
What did Phyllis do wrong? I'll
tell you what Phyllis did wrong.

308
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:43,043
She stuck her nose into my
business and tried to help me.

309
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,632
What's going on with Pam?
She's good, actually.

310
00:16:48,715 --> 00:16:51,468
Yeah? She's in New York.

311
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,762
She's at an art school. Really?

312
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,764
Yeah, she's doing really well.

313
00:16:57,766 --> 00:17:00,018
She's engaged

314
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,188
to me.

315
00:17:03,730 --> 00:17:05,274
(Chuckles)

316
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:09,069
Congrats, man. Thanks, man.

317
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,864
I appreciate that.

318
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,325
So Pam's happy?

319
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,161
Yeah, I'd say she's happy.

320
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:20,289
I mean, she loves her
classes, loves the city,

321
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:25,544
and last night she was out
with her friends till, like, 8 am.

322
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:27,671
Wow. What?

323
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,966
Ithoughtyou were her friend.

324
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:42,519
I am going to see Pam
'cause I feel like I should.

325
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:50,652
When are you getting to
Bruce? Just a few more items.

326
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:54,615
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!

327
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:57,093
All right! All right, all right, all
right! Here we go, here we go.

328
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,952
All right, big-ticket item.

329
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,581
All right! In my pocket,

330
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:06,126
I have two tickets

331
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,379
to Mr. Bruce Springsteen.
Front...

332
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:12,799
Where are those?

333
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,010
Has anyone seen an envelope

334
00:18:15,093 --> 00:18:18,805
with Bruce Springsteen front
row tickets and backstage passes?

335
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,225
Anybody seen something,
like, lying around?

336
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:25,062
Do you want us to look for
them? No. I think they were stolen.

337
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:28,273
I think they were stolen
and they're gone forever, so...

338
00:18:28,815 --> 00:18:32,653
(Moans) That was
the last good item. So...

339
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:36,073
Good job, everybody.
I have my hug.

340
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:40,285
Yeah, well, Phyllis, nobody
really wants a hug, so...

341
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:43,205
I'll bid on a hug. She's
your wife, you idiot.

342
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,541
$100. $200.

343
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,544
What the hell is
happening? $250.

344
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:49,627
What are you doing?

345
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,880
I need a hug, unless
you're going to give me one.

346
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,423
Not here. $300.

347
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:56,843
$300! We have $300.
$300 going once.

348
00:18:56,927 --> 00:19:00,931
$300 going twice.
$300 and one penny!

349
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,267
$300 and one penny!
$300 and one penny!

350
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:04,643
$325. $325.

351
00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:05,769
$350! $350.

352
00:19:05,852 --> 00:19:07,771
$350 and one penny!
$350 and one penny!

353
00:19:07,854 --> 00:19:09,374
Bob Vance: $400.
$400. Hey, batter, batter.

354
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,483
$400 and one penny!
$400 and one penny!

355
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,277
Bob Vance: $500! $500! $500.

356
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,820
Five... $500 and one penny!

357
00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:17,489
$500 and one penny!
One million dollars!

358
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:18,991
$700! $700.

359
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,451
$700 and one penny!

360
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:22,995
(Mutter/ng)

361
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,414
$1,000!

362
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:28,500
It's not worth it.

363
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,586
$1,000 going once!
$1,000 going twice!

364
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:34,047
(Gavel squeaks)
Sold for $1, 000!

365
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:39,636
Nicely done.

366
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,224
(Sighing)

367
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,187
(Tires squealing)

368
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:54,526
(Exhales)

369
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:59,573
No. You know what? No,
because I'm not that guy,

370
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:03,410
(chuckles) And we are
not that couple.

371
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,587
(Whispering)
Hey, that looks good.

372
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,383
Listen, about the tickets.

373
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:23,430
It's sort of... kind of a gray area
in terms of whether I had them.

374
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:27,851
Holly: The Springsteen tickets
seemed too good to be true.

375
00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:32,439
But a lot of Michael
seems too good to be true.

376
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,941
So far it's all true.

377
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:40,447
But, yeah, those tickets really
seemed too good to be true.

378
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:57,297
No. I did not know that
Michael was dating Holly.