1 00:00:03,711 --> 00:00:05,130 (Watch alarm beeps) 2 00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:07,632 Hey, Michael? Yeah? 3 00:00:07,715 --> 00:00:09,342 Contractions are coming every 10 minutes. 4 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,344 Okay, just remember to keep breathing. 5 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,139 My cervix is ripening. Okay, good. 6 00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:16,975 Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor, 7 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:21,646 and Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. 8 00:00:21,729 --> 00:00:25,275 Now this baby will be related to Michael through... 9 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:28,361 Delusion. 10 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:29,779 Michael! Yeah? 11 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,157 My water's breaking! Okay. Okay. 12 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,160 (Groaning loudly) What do you do? What do you do? 13 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:36,220 I get a call from jan, and I meet her at the hospital. 14 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:38,037 Right. Highways or surface roads? 15 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,497 I take Quincy ave to Gibson. 16 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:40,999 No. Gibson is covered in potholes. 17 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,202 Your car breaks down. Adapt. 18 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,894 I checked the route. There are no potholes. 19 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:45,795 It's about adapting to the circumstances. 20 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,089 Andy, would you like to have my baby? Yes! Yeah. 21 00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:49,442 (Screams in protest) No. Okay, no. 22 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,635 I'm crowning. I'm crowning! All right. Come on. Sorry. 23 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,321 Michael: Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. 24 00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:55,448 Dwight: The pressure! Michael: Do it! 25 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:58,183 Dwight: The pressure! Michael: Scream. Scream it out! Scream it out! 26 00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,559 (Both screaming) 27 00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:02,103 Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. 28 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,355 Growing up, I performed my own circumcision. 29 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,607 Just keep pushing. Hold me. 30 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:07,650 I'm right here. I'm right here. Cradle my head! 31 00:01:07,775 --> 00:01:09,535 I'm right here. I'm screaming. I'm screaming! 32 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,321 I'm screaming! All right. Dwight. 33 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:13,698 Just push and breathe. Numb me up. I want anesthesia. 34 00:01:13,781 --> 00:01:15,301 (Shushing) No, you can't have it. It's too late. 35 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:16,618 No, I don't want natural. 36 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,620 Okay. No, you have to just push it out. 37 00:01:18,786 --> 00:01:20,705 (Screaming) Keep simulating. Okay. 38 00:01:20,788 --> 00:01:22,540 Do you have the sharpie? Keep simulating. 39 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,042 Do you have the sharpie? Yes, I do. 40 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:27,879 Okay! When the baby emerges, Mark it secretly in a kind of a Mark 41 00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:30,602 that only you could recognize and no baby snatcher could ever copy. 42 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:31,966 Okay. Yes. Ready? 43 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,886 (Screaming) Okay. Coming! Here we go! 44 00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:37,639 God. Wow, what was on that? 45 00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:39,974 Butter. Newborns are slippery. 46 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:42,018 Nice touch. Good. Let's try that again. 47 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:47,732 This is going to be the happiest day of my life. 48 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,427 Hello, ladies. How is my shower going? 49 00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:19,806 Phyllis, did you get the live storks? No. 50 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,183 Damn it, Phyllis. I'm sorry. 51 00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:26,854 Damn it, Phyllis, it was hard enough to convince jan to come. 52 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,733 So are we set for refreshments? 53 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,611 Per your instructions we have the personalized M&M's 54 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:37,991 with the baby names. This is your boy bowl with the name Chevy. 55 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,117 That was me. 56 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,162 And this is the girl bowl with M&M's with the name astird. 57 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,374 Phyllis: That can't be right. Michael wrote down "astird." 58 00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:49,961 She said it is the name of a viking Princess, so... 59 00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:53,214 Astird. I know. I know. 60 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:57,051 It is beautiful. No, thank you. Is this it? 61 00:02:57,135 --> 00:03:01,264 I mean, is this... two bowls of M&M's and some balloons? 62 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,683 You know what, Phyllis? I think you need to step it up. 63 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,202 I think you need to get the lead out, 64 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:08,563 because if I'm not mistaken, we gave you your wedding shower here. 65 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:12,400 We all came into this room and gave you a golden shower. 66 00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:15,903 Well, you know what, where's my golden shower, Phyllis? 67 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:20,533 It does not matter to me at all whether this baby is biologically mine. 68 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:26,039 I'm going to love it. It's like when the dog nurses the tiger cub. 69 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,124 Have you seen that video? 70 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:34,505 It is... it's so bizarre and unnatural, 71 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,801 but it happens. 72 00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:42,430 Okay, I'm collecting for the baby shower. 73 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:44,849 But, Phyllis, it's not his baby. 74 00:03:44,932 --> 00:03:46,851 I know, Kevin. Why do we have to pay money 75 00:03:46,934 --> 00:03:50,730 to get a gift for his ex-girlfriend's unborn sperm-bank baby? 76 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:54,609 Look at it as if you're paying for the cake, not the baby. Sheet cake. 77 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:57,779 I do enjoy being the head of the party planning committee. 78 00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:01,699 I'm no longer under Angela's heel, and her little grape head is under mine. 79 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,410 Hey. Hey. What are you doing? Don't talk to them. 80 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,204 I'm sorry. Make the party. 81 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:09,123 Don't... make the party, please, Phyllis. 82 00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:20,468 Pump it! 83 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:22,988 Pam: (On phone) So you know Stacy, right? 84 00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,347 Right. The one from england. 85 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,766 There's no one from england, Jim. Katie studied in Ireland. 86 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:29,727 This is Stacy. The one who does the murakami—style collages. 87 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,479 Right. That style. 88 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,524 So Stacy and Eric get to foner's g-tech half an hour early 89 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,859 so they don't have to sit on the slab. Okay. 90 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,112 Anyway, foner's ta sarikaya comes in. 91 00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:41,447 Wait, who's sarikaya komzin? 92 00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:45,660 No, sarikaya comes in. Don't interrupt. I have, like, 30 seconds to finish this 93 00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:47,412 and get to digi crit. Okay. Okay. 94 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,331 So sarikaya says to Eric, "no way, you can't reserve seats." 95 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,500 And then Stacy gets all up in her face, 96 00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,377 and sarikaya picks up Stacy's mi-teintes pad 97 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,754 and throws it at the light box. 98 00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:58,840 Yes! No way. 99 00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,174 (Chuckles) 100 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,511 That's hilarious. No, it was horrible. 101 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,347 Jim, she might get arrested. Who? Stacy? 102 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,224 No, Stacy is a boy. 103 00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:11,644 (Sighing) This is so frustrating. Why can't you just be in art class with me? 104 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,022 Wait, I gotta go. Class is starting. 105 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,692 Okay, I'll... I'll talk to you later. 106 00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:23,072 That was a good story. 107 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,324 Who's sarikaya komzin? 108 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:33,332 Yo, got the "nard" puppyforyou. What's going on here? 109 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:37,295 It's a baby game where you guess whose picture is whose. 110 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:38,713 (Andy chuckles) 111 00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:39,964 Check it out. 112 00:05:40,047 --> 00:05:45,303 Who would have thought that this little baby would be marrying that little baby? 113 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,430 That's Phyllis. 114 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,683 Well... yeah, it is. 115 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,061 So I hope you two are very happy together. Pervert. 116 00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:56,564 Wait, why does that make me a pervert? I... 117 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,357 Well, it does. That's me. 118 00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,151 (Chuckles) That's not you. Yes, it is. 119 00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:02,528 That's mean, come on. That's... 120 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:03,780 (Huffs) 121 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,288 Aho ahoy! Y, Matey! 122 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:18,419 Good. Ahoy. So, how are you doing? 123 00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,674 Listen, jan Levinson is coming in today, 124 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:28,721 and she is in the terminal stages of her pregnancy. 125 00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:33,059 A child of which I have a vested interest. 126 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,312 It's all kind of weird. 127 00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:42,735 Anyway, she is incredibly fat and enormous right now, 128 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:46,781 extremely unattractive, and you are, on the other hand, 129 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,618 one of the more attractive people in the office, 130 00:06:52,119 --> 00:06:56,082 so while she's here I am going to be acting kind of cold to you, 131 00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,877 and I am doing this 132 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:05,591 to pay respect to her bloated feelings. 133 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:09,846 And I'm treating Ryan the same way. Of course. Yeah. 134 00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:16,227 Stanley: I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. 135 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,396 They're always complaining. 136 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:23,401 I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I'm constantly hungry. 137 00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:25,611 Do you think my nipples don't get sore, too? 138 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,406 Do you think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital? 139 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:29,991 (Door opening) 140 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,000 Jan. Jan: Hi, Jim. 141 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,461 What do we have here? This is my baby. 142 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,005 (Chuckles) Really? 143 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:47,466 Oh, no. 144 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,892 Jan had the baby, and Michael wasn't there to Mark it. 145 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:59,145 So the baby could be anybody's, except Michael's. 146 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:05,443 So this is astird? Astrid. 147 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:06,694 Oh! Oh. 148 00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:08,738 Okay. Why didn't you call me? 149 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:13,200 Well, you know, iaborjust kind of started very suddenly... 150 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,578 I could have helped... and the birth instructor thought 151 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,014 it wasn't a good idea for you to be there... 152 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,557 You listened to that guy? So I just... 153 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,876 He had no sense of humor, and I proved him wrong in so many ways. 154 00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,979 Michael, you don't have any idea what I've been through. 155 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,797 No, I don't. So, I just... I'm sorry. 156 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:30,927 I thought today at the baby shower would be a good time for the two of you to meet. 157 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,511 Can I hold her? 158 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,347 Yes. Yes, you can. 159 00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:41,395 (Exhales) 160 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,606 You know, I think just leave her in the car seat. 161 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:44,941 Just... yeah. 162 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:48,069 Okay. All right. 163 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,071 (Grunts) 164 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,573 Okay. 165 00:08:56,327 --> 00:09:01,749 I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. 166 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:07,588 I try to pick up and hold a baby every day, if possible, because it nourishes me. 167 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:11,217 It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me, 168 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,762 and I think it's because they see me as one of them. 169 00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:19,308 But cooler, and with my life put together a little bit. 170 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:24,021 If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war. 171 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,567 There would be no government, 172 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,698 and things could get terrible. 173 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,116 It actually, probably... 174 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:38,244 It would be a better screenplay idea than a serious suggestion. 175 00:09:39,286 --> 00:09:44,000 Ladies and gentlemen, it is my privilege and honor to present for the first time 176 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:47,294 in her life and in the office, as... trid. 177 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:52,842 Trid Levinson. Hi! Astrid, this is everybody, look. 178 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:57,346 This is your family. You're going to know them for the rest of your life. 179 00:09:57,471 --> 00:10:01,851 Well... well, he may not be here. Say hello. 180 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:06,063 Okay. Here we go. Lion king. Michael, Michael, Michael! 181 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,315 Thafs_. That's too high. I'll take that. 182 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:11,110 Okay! Come on. Let's get our shower on. 183 00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:14,030 Conference room. Choppity, chip, chop. 184 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,323 Are you okay? You seem kind of... 185 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,618 I'm fine, weirdo. 186 00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:25,332 Such an hr weirdo. Try not to suck all the air out of there when you walk in. 187 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:32,506 Ready to play some games? Let's do it! 188 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,508 Michael, the baby's already been born. 189 00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:36,010 Yeah, duh. 190 00:10:36,343 --> 00:10:39,597 So we had games planned, but the baby ruins all of them. 191 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,850 No, the baby doesn't ruin anything, Kevin, okay? 192 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:47,521 The baby multiplies the fun. Let's just do what you were going to do. 193 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:52,860 Okay. Who wants to guess when the baby will be born? 194 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:58,157 All right, how about some presents? I want to see some presents. 195 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,659 I got this so I can write down for thank you notes. 196 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,037 Thank you. That's very sweet, thank you. What do we got? 197 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,373 We all chipped in and got you this stroller. 198 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:08,709 Oh! 199 00:11:09,376 --> 00:11:10,854 Jan: Thank you. She already has a stroller. 200 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:13,172 And this is way worse than the stroller she came with. 201 00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,925 She's got an orbit. That's a $1,200 stroller. 202 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,009 (Scoffs) 203 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,886 $1,200 for a stroller? 204 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,554 (Sputters) 205 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,223 Michael: Okay, what else? 206 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,893 $1,200 is what I spent on my whole bomb shelter. 207 00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:31,482 For that kind of money, this stroller should be indestructible. 208 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:39,532 (Singing) Being good isn't always easy no matter how hard I try 209 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:42,201 when he started sweet-talking to me 210 00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:45,037 he'd come and tell me everything is all right 211 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:48,415 he'd kiss and tell me everything is all right 212 00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,918 and can I get away again tonight 213 00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,086 the only one... 214 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,088 Hey, you. Jim: (On phone) Hey, you busy? 215 00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:56,525 Not even. I'm doing laundry for the first time in, like, a month. 216 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,236 Okay, okay. You got to hear this. So, jan's shower's going on right now, 217 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,154 (machine beeps) And she's singing son of a preacher man. 218 00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,572 I can't hear anything. There's like... 219 00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:03,782 E veryone's just staring at her like... 220 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,182 There's, like, machines going. 221 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,586 The song is about losing your virginity next to a church, 222 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,646 and guess what? She's been singing for the last 20 minutes. 223 00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:12,606 I can't hear anything. 224 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:16,694 Okay, well, you know what, just call me later. 225 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:17,945 Okay. 226 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,866 I'm not frustrated. Even if I were in Scranton, 227 00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:23,492 Jim and I would have days like this. 228 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:28,289 We're just a little out of sync. You know, that's all. 229 00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:30,708 Oh! 230 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:33,169 Great, I... I washed my lipstick. 231 00:12:35,462 --> 00:12:40,885 How well I remember the look that was in his eyes 232 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:43,846 stealing kisses from me on the sly 233 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,681 taking time to make time 234 00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:48,893 telling me that he's all mine 235 00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,729 learning from each other's knowing 236 00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,815 looking to see how much we've grown and the only... 237 00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,943 Don't hit the fence! Oh, no, my child! 238 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:01,197 Don't get stuck on the barbed wire! 239 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:02,990 (Grunting) 240 00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:05,492 Playtime is over! 241 00:13:07,494 --> 00:13:10,581 So, jan, tell my intended about the miracle of childbirth. 242 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:14,877 Well, actually I... I had a tub birth, and it was really, really quite amazing. 243 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,503 You gave birth in a tub? 244 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,673 Yeah, it's a really nice transition from womb to world. 245 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,258 You know, kind of like a big womb. 246 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,385 So you're in the tub with everything? 247 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:24,929 Yeah, the afterbirth floats. Yeah. 248 00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:27,097 Must be like the tide at Omaha beach. 249 00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:29,725 No, it's actually really hygienic, creed. 250 00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:31,036 After the birth, you get out... I'm done. 251 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,811 Me, too... and you deliver the afterbirth. 252 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:37,274 Hey, hey, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. This is the birth story. 253 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:40,027 It was beautiful. It was beautiful. 254 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,904 This is a once-in-a-lifetime expenence, 255 00:13:42,529 --> 00:13:46,200 and I should have been there. I should have been there to witness this. 256 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,661 I could have helped. You're upset about this. I know that, 257 00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:54,416 and I wish that I... but would it help if you held Astrid for just a little bit? 258 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,463 Yeah. Okay. All right. 259 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,634 I'm just going to lie down for a couple of minutes. I'm exhausted. 260 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:08,347 So, remind me to talk to you about Astrid's 529. Wake me in 20. 261 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:19,066 Michael: (Softly) I usually love babies, but when I held Astrid 262 00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:21,360 I just felt... 263 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,906 Shortchanged. 264 00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:28,701 Phyms? 265 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:34,415 Could you take... (Whispering) Sure. 266 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,458 Just for a second. 267 00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:37,960 Okay. 268 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,797 Sweetheart. 269 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,637 Hey, guys. What's up, Mike? 270 00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:53,559 I need some advice from one baby-daddy to another. 271 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:56,520 (Chuckles) You a baby-daddy? Yeah, I a baby-daddy. 272 00:14:56,603 --> 00:14:57,688 (Laughs) 273 00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:01,650 When you first became a baby-daddy, 274 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:05,404 did you have an immediate connection with that baby? 275 00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:10,159 Like, the first time that you held it, did you find that with your baby baby? 276 00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:12,536 Hell, yeah. You know why? 277 00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:15,456 'Cause that was my baby. 278 00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:17,434 I just thought as a baby-daddy... 279 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,878 You should stop calling yourself "baby-daddy." 280 00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:24,590 Why, Darryl? Because I'm quote "white" quote, unquote? 281 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:28,761 Because you're not a daddy, and it's not your baby. 282 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,555 Well... you feel connected to his baby over there? 283 00:15:31,638 --> 00:15:34,433 It's... that's different. You feel connected to this? 284 00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:38,062 That's not a baby. You want to hold me, see how you feel? 285 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,480 (Sighing) 286 00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,191 Could I? No. 287 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,491 (Yawning) 288 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:57,664 I was just catching up on my sleep. 289 00:15:57,956 --> 00:15:59,500 I can imagine. 290 00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:00,793 (Chuckles) 291 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,506 Where's Astrid? I think she's on a sales call. 292 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:09,468 On a what? "Wah, more paper. Wah." 293 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,011 (Laughs) 294 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,934 No, she's just on her coffee break. That's funny. 295 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,187 She's with Angela. 296 00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:26,443 That's good. Now I need you to... 297 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,612 I need it to look up here. Get the baby to look... 298 00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:29,863 Okay... up here. Ready? 299 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:34,326 Yeah. Look at my finger. Look. Look. 300 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,454 No. Come on, up here. Look up here. 301 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:39,748 Your hand's in it. What? Sorry. 302 00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,518 What are you doing? Angela: Yeah, that was a good one. 303 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,876 What's going on? Excuse me. 304 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,003 We're taking a picture. Honey, there you are. 305 00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:48,048 She's nature's bounty. You don't flash around a newborn baby. 306 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,716 Don't you know that? What? 307 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,434 Michael, I need your help. I was just going to... 308 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,729 I was going to talk to Holly about her hygiene. 309 00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:08,235 She smells like old tomatoes and dirt. 310 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,531 Come on. 311 00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:21,206 I like to call this the bumper test. 312 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,334 (Tires screeching) 313 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,353 (Tires squealing) 314 00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,901 Sure you can't stay a little longer? 315 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,194 No, Michael, you know what, 316 00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:52,362 I really have to go. Okay. 317 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:56,992 All right, everybody, they're leaving. Jan and Astrid are leaving. 318 00:17:57,659 --> 00:18:01,246 You know what, where is the stroller that I came in with? 319 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:05,292 I took the Liberty of putting it in your trunk. Thanks, Dwight. 320 00:18:06,793 --> 00:18:12,174 Okay. You know what, there is... there is one more thing that you can do for me. 321 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,801 Okay. Don't date Holly. 322 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:19,056 That's... I hate her. 323 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:23,018 (Laughs) Why? God, why would you even ask me to... 324 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:30,442 I mean, not that it matters, 'cause I don't, but... okay. All right. Fine. 325 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:36,073 Thanks for the baby shower. It was great. And I'll... I'll see you soon. 326 00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:37,824 All right. Okay. 327 00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:41,453 (Car engine starting) 328 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,178 You still going to be mean to me? 329 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,204 (Clears throat) Want to go out? 330 00:19:27,874 --> 00:19:28,959 Yes. 331 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:35,591 I didn't feel much when I held Astrid, but I got a good feeling from Holly. 332 00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:39,928 (Phone dialing) 333 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,224 Jim: Hey, it's Jim. Leave a message. Hi. 334 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:50,897 Pam: Hey, this is Pam. Leave a message. Hey. It's me. It is 5:03. 335 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,442 I figured I'd catch you walking to your car, but... 336 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,612 Guess you must be out or something. I'll leave a message. 337 00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:59,948 Is it me or are we just a little off today? 338 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,242 I guess this is just one of those days. 339 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,620 It'll get better. 340 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,873 Hope you didn't have any major laundry issues. 341 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:11,084 I finished my laundry. Got all my socks. 342 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:14,338 (Chuckling) Nothing like that time that crazy guy pushed you. 343 00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:18,425 Hey, do you remember that time that I helped you do your laundry 344 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,903 (chuckles) And that crazy guy came in and started yelling at you? 345 00:20:20,927 --> 00:20:24,139 And then remember we went shopping the next day to buy me a washer-dryer? 346 00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:26,516 And yet, here you are, back in a laundromat. 347 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,686 You know, I'm just trying to help you, beesly. Be safe. 348 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:32,689 You're probably upset that I'm even at a laundromat right now, 349 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:36,985 but don't worry, I'm being safe, and I'm headed home. 350 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,947 I'm headed to my dorm. Not home. 351 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,825 Wish you were home. 352 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,788 Anyway... anyway, 353 00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:52,084 I miss you. I miss you.