1 00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:26,276 All right, everybody, this is your last meal, so eat up. 2 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:30,572 From this point forward, you will not use the bathroom. 3 00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:33,658 We need to keep our starting weights high so we can lose more. 4 00:00:33,741 --> 00:00:35,368 This summer, corporate is sponsoring 5 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,662 a little weight loss contest between the branches. 6 00:00:37,745 --> 00:00:41,291 Whichever branch loses the most weight 7 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,917 gets three extra vacation days. 8 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,895 What should we do with all these leftovers? 9 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,504 I'm taking the dumplings for my wife. 10 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,131 No, no, no. This is your last meal. 11 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,674 There will be no leftovers. 12 00:00:49,757 --> 00:00:51,634 I can bring these to my shelter. 13 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,219 I'm taking my dumplings. 14 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,931 There. Take those home to your wife. 15 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,225 Dwight! Dwight! 16 00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:01,269 Michael, it's time. 17 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:03,313 Hit the scales, everybody. 18 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,900 Right on that black platform. This way. Step it up. 19 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,318 Don't go breaking my scale. 20 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:10,862 I'm excited to lose weight for the wedding, 21 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:13,698 because I really want to have washboard abs 22 00:01:13,781 --> 00:01:15,867 the first time Angela sees me naked. 23 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:19,370 Ex-squeeze me. 24 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:22,373 No, I will ex-squeeze you. 25 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,292 Okay, everybody, get used to this, 26 00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:27,420 because we are going to be standing here briefly 27 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,547 every Monday for the next seven mondays. 28 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,883 Wait a minute. One more bite of éclair each. 29 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,928 Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow. 30 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,891 Really? Nothing? 31 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,477 2,336 pounds. 32 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,247 You all need to learn some portion control. 33 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,690 Wait a minute, Pam is on the scale. 34 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:51,027 Pam-cake, no, no, no. We would love your extra poundage, 35 00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:55,198 but you are going to be leaving us next week, so vamoose! 36 00:01:55,823 --> 00:01:58,743 Okay. Vamoose, Pam. Dunder Mifflin family only. 37 00:01:58,826 --> 00:02:00,078 Jim: Family only. 38 00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:03,164 All right, got it. 2,210 pounds. 39 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,590 Pam, you weigh 226 pounds? 40 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,008 Almost, Kevin. 41 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,927 Not almost, though, Holly. 42 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,221 I mean, not... not close to 200. 43 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:19,472 Math is hard. 44 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:20,682 Yeah. 45 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:23,017 Just_ we'll, just keep going. 46 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,691 Andy: I'm totally going to slaughter at the weigh-in today. 47 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:30,876 All I had this weekend to eat 48 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,660 was a chicken breast and a case of diet coke. 49 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:33,736 Really? Yeah. 50 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,489 'Cause I haven't eaten anything since noon on Friday. 51 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:39,284 Okay. Stanley, come on. 52 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:40,636 Oh, I forgot something in my car. 53 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,786 I'll see you guys up there. 54 00:02:41,869 --> 00:02:43,204 All right. 55 00:02:45,873 --> 00:02:48,918 Stanley: I happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. 56 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:53,798 The truth is, I have lost a little of my speed, a little of my fire. 57 00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:55,508 Here's what I used to look like. 58 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,135 Look at those biceps. 59 00:02:57,218 --> 00:03:00,722 We were fighting the power and eating whatever we wanted. 60 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:05,893 And arch your back and slowly bring up your head. 61 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,774 Jimbo. Oh. They moved the shower. 62 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,860 Did you see Holly's butt? 63 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,361 No, I didn't. 64 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,864 You know why? Why? 65 00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:21,492 Because most of the time, friends don't talk about other friends' butts. 66 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,870 I... I know. 67 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:25,496 But what have you learned about her? 68 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,625 I learned that she broke her left leg twice in one year. 69 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,669 I learned that she's allergic to sesame seeds. 70 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:35,256 I learned that she has read lonesome dove three times. 71 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,341 Nice. 72 00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:39,677 And that her butt refuses to quit. 73 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,262 Well, I tried. 74 00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:46,267 You have to... you have to agree with me. Thatsinsane. 75 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,673 I'll just go later. Thatsinsane. I thought you had to pee. 76 00:03:57,028 --> 00:04:01,032 Hey, if you're into yoga, I take a great bikram class in dickson city. 77 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:02,784 Oh, thanks. I should check that out. 78 00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:06,871 Also, and no pressure, the teacher, he's a catch. 79 00:04:06,954 --> 00:04:08,289 Actually, I'm a lesbian. 80 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,540 I'm gay. 81 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,043 I'm not a lesbian. 82 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:14,587 I don't know why I said that. Stupid joke. 83 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,339 What's the joke? 84 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,132 No, there is no joke. 85 00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:22,011 I just said it because I haven't had much luck lately 86 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,930 and I'm not really looking to date, 87 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:26,474 so maybe I should switch to women. 88 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,268 You think it's a choice? 89 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,649 I'm going to head back to my work area andjust_ 90 00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:36,859 I'm messing with you, Holly. 91 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,529 I knew that. 92 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:40,947 B e. Okay, y okay. 93 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,448 So you have the directions? Yeah. 94 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,612 You have a toothbrush? Yes. 95 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:44,760 You have a cell phone charger? 96 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:45,784 I have everything. 97 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:48,079 Tomorrow, I start a three-month design program 98 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:50,206 at the Pratt institute in New York. 99 00:04:50,289 --> 00:04:53,084 I will be a little fish in the big apple. 100 00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:55,878 What up, two-one-two? 101 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:57,755 Fax this for me. 102 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,817 Come on, man. She goes to New York in, like, 10 minutes. 103 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:03,052 It's not going to take her 10 minutes to fax it, Jim. 104 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,679 If idontsee you again, goodbye. 105 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:07,199 Well, actually, I'll see you when you give me the fax confirmation. 106 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,642 So never mind. 107 00:05:11,018 --> 00:05:13,855 Ang... ela. 108 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,774 Ela, ela, ela 109 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,943 under my angerela 110 00:05:19,026 --> 00:05:21,612 ela, ela, eh, eh 111 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:22,739 what? 112 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,323 Hey, check it out. 113 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,784 This is the breakers, Newport, Rhode Island. 114 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:30,538 Huge, awesome, gorgeous mansion overlooking the Atlantic. 115 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:33,332 And my dad went to Cornell with the current groundskeeper. 116 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:38,379 Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding. 117 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,132 No. No. 118 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,301 This is where my parents decided not to get divorced. 119 00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:44,635 I don't care. Okay. 120 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,430 How do you feel about Maine? 121 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:52,560 I'm on it. I'll see you later, love. 122 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:14,207 We done good in there, half-pint. 123 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,170 Well, that was the last time, Dwight. I mean it. 124 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,002 Monkey. No. No. 125 00:06:18,085 --> 00:06:20,254 I have a fiancé I very much like. 126 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,098 Hey! Hey! 127 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:51,953 Pam! Pam! Hey. 128 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:53,996 What happened? 129 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,206 I wrote you a goodbye poem. 130 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:58,543 It's really long. I left it up in my office. 131 00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,103 Could you just please wait until I go get it? 132 00:07:00,127 --> 00:07:01,146 I should really get going. 133 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,631 No. Okay. Okay. 134 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,135 The last word is "seagulls." 135 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,221 I'm sure it was really lovely. 136 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:11,764 I took a lot from other poems. 137 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,601 Call me when you get in. Okay. 138 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:16,727 Bye. 139 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:17,811 All right, call... 140 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,146 No, Michael. 141 00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,736 Jim: Why haven't I proposed yet? 142 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:29,448 Actually, Pam and I talked about it. And we just decided that, 143 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,427 well, we didn't want to spend the first three months of our engagement apart. 144 00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:35,121 And Pam's always said she doesn't want a long engagement. 145 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:37,498 Something in her past, I guess. 146 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:38,892 Not really sure of the whole story, 147 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:42,003 but something about a guy who used to work here. 148 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,464 Okay. No, no, no, no, no! Same places as last week. 149 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:46,924 Itdoesntrnafier, nhchael yes, hdoes 150 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,719 no, this is about weight displacement. 151 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,321 We have to have the same weight distribution. 152 00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,097 Right here. There we go. 153 00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:55,349 Let's move that up. There we go. 154 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,852 Fancy meeting you here. 155 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:02,023 Darryl: Okay, everybody smile. 156 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,946 You lost 31 pounds. 157 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,948 Yeah! Hey! 158 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:13,034 All right! Yes! 159 00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:14,428 Jim: I can't believe I'm saying this, 160 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:17,955 but Michael is actually killing it with Holly. 161 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:22,293 And I think I know why. It's because Holly is kind of a major dork. 162 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,006 I'm mc Mike Scott and I am hot 163 00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,383 she's dj jazzy flax and she is the best 164 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,969 all the sucker branches can suck our fat 165 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,555 wicka-wicka-wicka what? 166 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,064 Dunder Mifflin. This is ronni. 167 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,274 Jim: I don't really know ronni. 168 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,610 But I have a feeling I will get to know her very well 169 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,779 over the next few years. 170 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,239 And eventually declare my love for her. 171 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,663 Sorry I'm late. I accidentally switched my alarm clock setting 172 00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,498 to zapf chancery. 173 00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,835 Which is my terrible segue into our course, 174 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:08,089 expressive typography in new media. 175 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,759 I'm in the wrong class. 176 00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:15,304 Some of you may remember from last semester, I am professor monahan. 177 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,224 And it looks like I'm boring someone already. 178 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,601 No, I just... please sit down. 179 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,614 You're shaking. Are you all right? 180 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,616 Just leave me alone! 181 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,869 I am on the third day of my cleanse diet. 182 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,288 All I have to do is drink maple syrup, 183 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:45,001 lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water for all three meals. 184 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,963 I just bought some bikinis online, size two. So... 185 00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,383 Gonna look amazing! 186 00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:59,640 Hi, can I help you? 187 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,059 I need you to make me 100 copies of this on canary yellow. 188 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,185 Hey, jan. 189 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,562 How's the candle game? 190 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:05,896 Oh, great. Yeah. 191 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,275 Serenity by jan is kicking ass and taking names. 192 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,045 You remember last week when that girl went missing, 193 00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,196 guess whose candles they used for the vigil? 194 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,575 Cool. Thank god they found her, too. 195 00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:19,744 Oh, they found her? Hi, jan. 196 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,912 Hello, baby. How are you? 197 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,040 Good to see you. Who's your daddy? 198 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,791 You don't know who your daddy is, do you? 199 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,752 No, you don't. Come on. Let's go in. 200 00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:29,837 Jim: When Michael told us that jan was pregnant, 201 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,673 he led us to believe that he was the father, 202 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,342 by telling us that he was the father. 203 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,553 Hey, Oscar. 204 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,723 Who's that woman in Michael's office with the feet? 205 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,308 That's his ex. 206 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:44,977 Oh. She's very beautiful. 207 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:48,064 Yeah, she is. And clinically insane. 208 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:54,070 So, listen, I don't know if your offer still stands or whatever, 209 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,822 but you can give your yoga teacher my number. 210 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:57,907 Okay. 211 00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,342 Angela: Listen, dummy, it's not that hard. 212 00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:02,286 All you have to do is take the numbers from the sales report 213 00:11:02,369 --> 00:11:04,330 and type them into a master spreadsheet. 214 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:07,583 A gd monkey could do it. I do not understand why you can't do it! 215 00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:11,504 No! You do not talk to him like that! 216 00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,339 But he's an idiot. Hey. 217 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,132 He is not an idiot. 218 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,217 Thank you, Holly. 219 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,219 He is mentally challenged. 220 00:11:19,386 --> 00:11:21,722 But he's doing a superjob here. 221 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,224 Wait, back up. 222 00:11:25,392 --> 00:11:27,728 Do you think that I'm retarded? 223 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:33,067 What... no. Dwight. 224 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:37,571 Oh, Holly, that is very offensive. 225 00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:38,948 I'm sorry. 226 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:54,839 Hey, so, 227 00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:59,510 since my little lady has such particular, impossible-to-perceive taste, 228 00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,512 I've made non-refundable deposits 229 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,973 at four totally different wedding locales. 230 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,684 Hot air balloons over napa valley, 231 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,520 world famous Walt Disney's epcot center, 232 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,730 scuba diving wedding in The Bahamas 233 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,441 and wilkes-barre marriott ballroom c. 234 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:18,988 Dangerous, tacky, sharks, haunted. No. 235 00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:22,158 Hurry, we have to make this fast. 236 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,951 Let's do this thing! 237 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:28,372 I have a nice comforter and several cozy pillows. 238 00:12:28,455 --> 00:12:32,001 I usually read a chapter of a book and it's lights-out by 8:30. 239 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,128 That's how I sleep at night. 240 00:12:34,461 --> 00:12:36,589 All right, I am connecting. 241 00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:40,134 And you are not there. 242 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:42,845 Did you install it right? 243 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,368 How about this? Go to applications... 244 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,349 I can see you! 245 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,643 All right! This is so cool! 246 00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,104 So what is going on, girl in the computer? 247 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:53,898 Lunch with a girl from my hall. Uh-huh. 248 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,775 Ceramics class, then dinner by myself. 249 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,736 I'm going to watch hgtv, 250 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:01,197 and maybe go to bungalow 8 with John Mayer. 251 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,840 Okay, can you turn the girl off, please? 252 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:03,967 I'm trying to get some work done. 253 00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:08,078 No way! No way! Pam beesly! Hello! 254 00:13:09,496 --> 00:13:10,831 Hey, everybody, look! Pam! 255 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,499 Pam! Say hi! Say hi to Pam! 256 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:13,709 Hi, Pam. 257 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:15,294 Michael: Don't we all look skinny? 258 00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:17,880 Almost dropped you. 259 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,649 Pam: Can you put me down? I'm getting a little nauseous. 260 00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:22,676 Pam, I would like you to meet ronni. 261 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,845 We call her "rice-a-ronni." 262 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,473 She is hilarious, she is wonderful, 263 00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:31,602 a beam of light in this dark, dark office. 264 00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:34,396 Not really so much. 265 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,984 All she does is plop herself down there and answer phones all day. 266 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,236 The nerve. 267 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:43,405 Calm down, weirdo. Just a joke. She's such a weirdo. 268 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,783 You know what? My real beef with her, though, Pam, 269 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:47,534 is that she can't find those little 270 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,286 colored paperclips that I like so much. 271 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,722 Would you help her find them, please? 272 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,122 They're on the supply shelf. 273 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,415 Yeah. Let's go! 274 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,293 We are following Pam to the supply shelf. 275 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,379 Let us go. 276 00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,256 New York is so exciting. 277 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,925 I love my classes. The city is awesome. 278 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,680 Can you give me back to Jim now please? 279 00:14:08,555 --> 00:14:11,308 Okay, everybody, let's suck in our guts. 280 00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:17,147 2,184 pounds for a grand... 281 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,650 Oh. You all gained five pounds back. 282 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,068 Damn it. Come on! 283 00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,406 Kevin: Oh, my god. 284 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,248 Dwight: Come on, Bernard. Michael: Here we go. 285 00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:35,684 Andy: Move it. Michael: Everybody on. 286 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,726 Dwight: All right, we're set. 287 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,336 Still good. You guys lost a pound. 288 00:14:40,587 --> 00:14:42,089 You lost one pound. 289 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:45,259 I was on an iv for two days at the hospital. 290 00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,802 I lost four pounds. 291 00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:48,571 I don't know what those other fools were doing, 292 00:14:48,595 --> 00:14:50,014 but I lost four pounds. 293 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,182 Angela, you'll go to the supermarket 294 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,018 and get the New York cheesecake. 295 00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,020 Make sure it's the generic one. 296 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:57,771 It's Stanley's favorite. 297 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:02,860 Yes, I've replaced Angela as head of the party planning committee. 298 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:06,488 I guess I was just in the right place at the right time. 299 00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:08,282 How's it going? 300 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:10,200 It's going well. Michael: Good. 301 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,910 I have a crazy idea. 302 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:15,164 What if we did fruit instead of cake? 303 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,249 Cake? Who suggested cake? 304 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,753 We lost weight today. I think it's okay 305 00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:22,713 to reward ourselves once in a while. 306 00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:24,089 Are you kidding me? 307 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:26,091 We only lost one pound, Phyllis. 308 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,594 What is wrong with these people? 309 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,472 They have no willpower. I went... 310 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:36,226 I once went 28 years without having sex. 311 00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:40,272 And then again for seven years. 312 00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:43,192 Does anyone have any idea 313 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,862 what the number one cause of death is in this country? 314 00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,906 Shotgun weddings. That's not what that is. 315 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:50,240 Ftht being scared to death. 316 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,470 Obesity-caused illnesses. Obesity-caused illnesses. 317 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,204 Michael: Thank you. Holly is right. 318 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:59,583 People, this is not just about winning some extra vacation days. 319 00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:05,672 This is about a very cool hr initiative that if we don't follow 320 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,258 we are all going to die of obesity. 321 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,320 So how much are we going to lose? 322 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,054 I would like to lose 65 pounds. 323 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,848 Yes! All right. Who else? 324 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:17,142 Angela, can I put you down for 10 pounds? 325 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,395 No. My doctor wants me to gain weight. 326 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,230 If you gain weight, you will die. 327 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,400 I want you to live forever. I want us all to live forever. 328 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,776 How? How are we going to do this? 329 00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:28,320 Cryogenics. Beer me five. 330 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:30,173 Michael: This is how we're going to do it. 331 00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,991 Five pounds. I'm asking each of you to lose five pounds. 332 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,953 That, plus Jim's 65, 333 00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:38,205 give us a very good chance at winning this thing. 334 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,291 All right, I'm taking off. 335 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,585 Booty call. No, just going to see Pam. 336 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,213 Maybe put up some shelves. Here. Wait a second. 337 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:52,094 I don't want you to end up with a surprise pregnancy like me. 338 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,972 Okay. Thank you for this. 339 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,807 You want more? No. 340 00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:02,438 I don't know if there's any one place that has all these things. 341 00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:04,064 That's not my problem. 342 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:07,776 "Thousand-year-old church in the continental United States. 343 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,194 "There has to be a rainbow, 344 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,518 "24 hour veterinarian on call." 345 00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:12,990 That is very important to me. 346 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,576 So, I have work to do. Just do it. 347 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,787 Sweetheart, 348 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:23,459 just so you know, I don't care where we get married. 349 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,794 I'll marry you right here in this building. 350 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,379 I'll marry you in the parking lot. 351 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:32,050 I'll marry you in the eye of a hurricane in the middle of a snow storm 352 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,927 on top of a monsoon. 353 00:17:36,763 --> 00:17:38,283 All I care about is that we're going to 354 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:41,435 spend the rest of our lives together. 355 00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,029 I know I haven't made this easy on you. 356 00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:12,674 Hold on. 357 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,426 Hi. 358 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:26,605 Oh. So rude of me. Have you seen Pam's new art? 359 00:18:26,813 --> 00:18:29,107 It's right there. Check it out. 360 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:46,500 It's a pretty lame party. 361 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:48,627 Does anyone want to dance? 362 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,391 Some girl came into Pam's room 363 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,852 crying about her roommate stealing her soy milk. 364 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:08,272 So I'm in here waiting it out. 365 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:10,941 Stanley, Michael's not here. 366 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,859 You can eat a slice of your birthday cake. 367 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,778 I don't like cake anymore. 368 00:19:14,861 --> 00:19:16,238 Why not, dawg? 369 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:20,033 Taste changed. Now all I like is baklava. 370 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,495 Michael, we have a situation! 371 00:19:26,873 --> 00:19:29,293 They should not be in that room. 372 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:30,853 That's so lame. They didn't invite us. 373 00:19:30,877 --> 00:19:32,129 You know what we should do? 374 00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:33,731 We should have a party and not invite them. 375 00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:36,300 Yeah. Let's go mini-golfing. 376 00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:37,384 Yeah? 377 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:41,305 Oh, hey, could I have a rain check on the mini-golf? 378 00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:43,724 I actually have a date tonight. 379 00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:49,479 It'll probably be a total disaster, but... 380 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,943 I think you'll have fun because men from Scranton are handsome 381 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,487 and they know how to show a woman a good time. 382 00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,072 Not that guy who murdered his mother. 383 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,408 He was not so handsome. 384 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,160 Also Kevin. You know what? 385 00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:04,387 We're pretty much done here today. 386 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:05,996 Why don't you just take off early? 387 00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:07,079 Really? Yeah. 388 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,206 That's sweet. 389 00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:10,667 Vvshrneluck goodluck 390 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,085 Holly: Hey. 391 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:13,420 Holly doesn't need luck. 392 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,173 Everyone that meets her instantly loves her. 393 00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:19,259 Dwight: Party's over! You're so busted! 394 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,219 Michael: Okay, everybody. 395 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:24,222 Phyllis, did I or did I not say fruit? 396 00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:25,349 You said fruit, Michael. 397 00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:27,267 And what is that? 398 00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,393 Cake. 399 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,663 You know, we're going to have to try a little bit harder 400 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,898 if we are going to win this thing. 401 00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,941 Happy birthday, Stanley! 402 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:43,200 Holly: It's kind of a good news, bad news situation. 403 00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,494 The bad news is, we're not doing very well, 404 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:48,705 so we really had to starve ourselves this whole week. 405 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,832 But the good news is that all the other branches 406 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,626 are doing just as bad as we are, 407 00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:55,629 so corporate upped the prize to five days. 408 00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:57,464 So if we stay fat long enough, 409 00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:59,966 we may actually get a whole month off. 410 00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:09,017 Oh, nothing. What? 411 00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:12,312 It's just some of us are taking this really seriously. 412 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,606 I swallowed a tapeworm last night. 413 00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,733 It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me 414 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,444 and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. 415 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:23,240 And then after three months, I take some medicine and then I pass it. 416 00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:25,992 Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico. 417 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:28,161 That wasn't a tapeworm. 418 00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:33,208 How's my favorite branch doing? 419 00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:38,714 All right. 420 00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,053 Michael: Ronni was... 421 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:48,265 Things were at an all-time sad here. 422 00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:49,933 But then I got an e-mail from Ryan 423 00:21:50,016 --> 00:21:53,311 that he was coming back to town. And I called the temp agency 424 00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:56,982 and I told them, "I will pay you any amount. Just give me Ryan Howard. 425 00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:59,568 "Give him to me. I want him. I need him." 426 00:22:00,026 --> 00:22:01,027 And you got a goatee. 427 00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:02,112 I did. 428 00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:04,865 Did you get that after you helped me move and you saw mine? 429 00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:07,659 Yes. Goatee! 430 00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:10,537 Fired guy! 431 00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:11,913 Hey, Kevin. 432 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,183 Ryan: That's really funny. Yeah. 433 00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:15,834 It's great to see you, kev. You, too. 434 00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:18,587 I'm keeping a list of everyone who wrongs me. 435 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:21,506 So when I'm back on top, they'll be sorry. 436 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,008 Kevin just made the list. 437 00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:24,676 Jim! 438 00:22:26,344 --> 00:22:29,890 I want to apologize for how I treated you lastyear 439 00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:34,728 I lost sight of myself and now that I've quit the rat race, 440 00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:36,205 I realize there's so much more to life 441 00:22:36,229 --> 00:22:39,191 than being the youngest vp in the company's history. 442 00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:43,779 I've even started volunteering, giving back to the community. 443 00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:45,530 That's great. 444 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,492 You're talking about your court-ordered community service? 445 00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:51,328 I don't need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean. 446 00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:53,163 But he did, right? 447 00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:55,123 All right. All right. 448 00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:04,800 Well, you lost zero pounds. No change. 449 00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:06,569 On the brighter side, you gained zero pounds. 450 00:23:06,593 --> 00:23:10,180 Hey, you know what? I can't do this by myself, people! 451 00:23:10,263 --> 00:23:14,017 Kelly and I are the only ones who've either passed out or almost passed out! 452 00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:15,435 Damn it, I need these five days 453 00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,354 for my honeymoon! Who is slacking? 454 00:23:17,437 --> 00:23:19,773 Okay, let's just all try and work harder, okay? 455 00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:21,483 No! I want names! 456 00:23:21,942 --> 00:23:25,946 This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. 457 00:23:27,155 --> 00:23:29,449 I haven't had a very hard life. 458 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,368 So how was your date? 459 00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:35,038 I got a red wine stain on my favorite shirt. 460 00:23:35,121 --> 00:23:36,790 But he's cute, right? 461 00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:40,293 What's wrong? 462 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,968 Mmm... 463 00:23:53,139 --> 00:23:54,641 Close the door. 464 00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:58,728 This is your fault. No. 465 00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:00,689 Your stupid friend zone. 466 00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:04,568 I should have been lovers with her first and then friends. 467 00:24:04,651 --> 00:24:07,362 That was terrible advice. Terrible advice! 468 00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:09,281 You know my seduction method. 469 00:24:09,364 --> 00:24:12,158 I like to get in there and get my hands dirty. 470 00:24:12,242 --> 00:24:13,743 You sabotaged me. 471 00:24:13,827 --> 00:24:15,287 You sabotaged me, man! 472 00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:18,415 Attention! Attention! 473 00:24:18,498 --> 00:24:20,584 We only have a few weeks left 474 00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:24,296 and most of you are just as fat as the day we began. 475 00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:25,964 How much weight have you lost, Dwight? 476 00:24:26,047 --> 00:24:27,191 I am hardly the problem, Jim. 477 00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:28,317 No, youte definitely the problem. 478 00:24:28,341 --> 00:24:32,929 This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to randomly select three names 479 00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:35,974 and these three people will get liposuction. 480 00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:42,355 Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin. And you will be responsible for your own medical bills. 481 00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:45,567 Kelly? 482 00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:48,403 Hello, Ryan. You look well. 483 00:24:48,486 --> 00:24:52,282 I wanted to say I'm sorry for treating you bad the past couple of years. 484 00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:57,203 I was in my mid-20s and I was going through a lot of stuff. 485 00:24:57,287 --> 00:25:00,415 I think I never really processed 9/11. 486 00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:02,542 I want you to know I've changed. 487 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:03,668 Cool. 488 00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:06,796 We should get a drink later, catch up. 489 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,214 Pick me up around 8:00? 490 00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:10,759 That is so sweet. 491 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:15,722 Um, but I'm dating Darryl still and we're like crazy in love, so... 492 00:25:18,224 --> 00:25:19,309 Cool. 493 00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:24,648 Well, maybe I'll see you around. 494 00:25:24,731 --> 00:25:26,316 It's a small office. 495 00:25:26,399 --> 00:25:27,525 Yeah. 496 00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:34,574 Hey, Phyllis, do you have a minute? 497 00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:38,787 Listen, I'm really sorry about what I said before. 498 00:25:39,245 --> 00:25:40,372 Okay? 499 00:25:40,872 --> 00:25:42,749 I was way out of line. 500 00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:44,751 Yes, you were. 501 00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:47,504 But you know what? I want to make it up to you. 502 00:25:47,587 --> 00:25:52,008 There is a surefire sale, but it's a two-man job. Interested? 503 00:25:55,095 --> 00:25:56,888 Split the commission? 504 00:25:58,765 --> 00:26:00,183 Sixty-forty. 505 00:26:02,852 --> 00:26:04,229 I'll drive. 506 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:23,581 Dieting is only half of it. Mmm-hmm. Saunas. 507 00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:25,208 And exercise. 508 00:26:25,291 --> 00:26:28,169 Although I know everybody loves going to the gym. 509 00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:29,838 The dreadmill. 510 00:26:31,172 --> 00:26:36,219 Probably the weirdest thing about Pam being gone will be lunch, actually. 511 00:26:36,302 --> 00:26:39,472 But it will force me to become acquaintances 512 00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:42,475 with people I consider co-workers. 513 00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:45,311 Oh, my god. 514 00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:48,064 Okay, everybody just act normal. Don't say anything. 515 00:26:48,148 --> 00:26:49,148 What? 516 00:26:49,190 --> 00:26:51,317 My ex-girlfriend, she's right behind you. 517 00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:52,902 Really? Where? Just hide me. 518 00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:54,696 No, no, don't look. 519 00:26:56,072 --> 00:26:58,116 Wow, was it the age difference? 520 00:26:58,199 --> 00:26:59,617 Actually, kind of, yes. 521 00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:02,245 I just didn't like eating dinner that early. 522 00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:09,252 Hey, Jim. Listen, can I call you back in a little bit? 523 00:27:09,335 --> 00:27:10,920 I made friends. 524 00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:16,593 Are you insane? Hey, hey. 525 00:27:16,676 --> 00:27:17,802 What happened? 526 00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:19,345 There was no client. 527 00:27:19,429 --> 00:27:21,848 Dwight drove me to an abandoned warehouse five miles away 528 00:27:21,931 --> 00:27:24,225 and pushed me out of the car. 529 00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:26,936 I had to walk home with no money and no phone. 530 00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:30,023 And you burned over a thousand calories walking home, 531 00:27:30,106 --> 00:27:34,444 and this branch just got a little bit closer to winning the contest. 532 00:27:34,527 --> 00:27:35,945 Phyllis Vance, ladies and gentlemen. 533 00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:38,656 You left me in a bad part of town. 534 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:42,035 Yeah, I took your purse. What are you worried about? 535 00:27:42,952 --> 00:27:44,954 Dwight: You look great. 536 00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:47,499 I can definitely see the difference. 537 00:27:47,665 --> 00:27:49,709 Phyllis Vance for David Wallace. 538 00:27:52,796 --> 00:27:54,482 Holly: "Dunder Mifflin wants to make it clear 539 00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:56,966 "that dunder Mifflin does not discriminate 540 00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:59,511 "nor does it condone unhealthy dieting habits 541 00:27:59,594 --> 00:28:01,638 "or extreme weight loss strategies, 542 00:28:01,721 --> 00:28:03,640 "as was clearly stated in the official..." 543 00:28:03,723 --> 00:28:07,644 Oh, bang, boom, shake, klump! 544 00:28:07,727 --> 00:28:10,647 Why, hello, everybody. 545 00:28:11,189 --> 00:28:13,274 What are you doing? Fair question. 546 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:16,736 Isay, lsay, I say, sit down, Holly! 547 00:28:17,403 --> 00:28:19,280 I'll take it from here. 548 00:28:20,073 --> 00:28:22,909 I am beautiful. 549 00:28:25,787 --> 00:28:28,373 They are beautiful. 550 00:28:29,749 --> 00:28:36,548 He is beautiful. This big fat pig is beautiful. 551 00:28:37,423 --> 00:28:39,175 It's my sumo suit. 552 00:28:39,259 --> 00:28:40,611 I just didn't inflate it all the way. 553 00:28:40,635 --> 00:28:44,722 I'm so glad that I bought instead of rented. 554 00:28:45,431 --> 00:28:46,808 Body image. 555 00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:50,895 We are here because there is something wrong with society. 556 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:53,332 See, you're always saying there's something wrong with society, 557 00:28:53,356 --> 00:28:55,400 but maybe there's something wrong with you. 558 00:28:55,483 --> 00:28:58,194 If it's me, then society made me that way. 559 00:28:58,278 --> 00:29:00,256 Now, I know a lot of you are probably asking yourself, 560 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,783 "why are you dressed in a plus-size suit?" 561 00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:06,035 Because you're kind of doing Michael klump. 562 00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:07,370 How do you know Michael klump? 563 00:29:07,453 --> 00:29:09,557 Because it's your "making fun of fat people" character. 564 00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:11,040 How dare you! 565 00:29:11,124 --> 00:29:14,335 Michael klump is a celebration of fat people. 566 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,046 I think of him as more like a monster. 567 00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:19,799 What about, "I say, I say, I say, I'll sit on you"? 568 00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:23,595 No, no. It goes... look. "I say, I say, I say, I'll sit on you." 569 00:29:23,678 --> 00:29:25,471 No! No! No! No! No! You know what? 570 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:29,058 Fat people are not monsters. 571 00:29:29,142 --> 00:29:33,021 Why don't you guys have a little more sensitivity to the subject? 572 00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:35,231 Bang, boom, case in point. 573 00:29:35,315 --> 00:29:36,750 Look at the outside of this building. 574 00:29:36,774 --> 00:29:38,067 It is ugly. 575 00:29:38,151 --> 00:29:41,696 But you come inside and it is beautiful. 576 00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:46,034 Just like this unappealing fat suit. 577 00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:50,705 Inside is a rather handsome, sexy man. 578 00:29:50,788 --> 00:29:51,789 Vamping. 579 00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:54,292 Hey, why don't you just sit down, please? 580 00:29:54,375 --> 00:29:55,418 I've been sitting all day. 581 00:29:55,501 --> 00:29:56,794 We're doing this because of you. 582 00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:59,881 So why don't you just go stand somewhere else? 583 00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:03,593 Hey, hey, shaved? 584 00:30:03,676 --> 00:30:05,511 I did. Why? 585 00:30:08,556 --> 00:30:10,850 Male professor: So in the year 2000, 586 00:30:10,934 --> 00:30:15,813 fungus and even black mold was discovered growing in the cave. 587 00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:17,982 Some blame it on the new air conditioning system 588 00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:21,319 that was installed, some on the high-powered lights. 589 00:30:21,402 --> 00:30:23,613 Others feel that fungus is due to an overgrowth... 590 00:30:25,865 --> 00:30:27,784 Pam: Nice. Quiet, please. 591 00:30:27,867 --> 00:30:29,369 Sorry. Sorry. 592 00:30:29,702 --> 00:30:32,413 Dwight, I would like you to apologize 593 00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:34,415 to this beautiful, beautiful woman 594 00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:35,959 for forcing her to walk five miles, 595 00:30:36,042 --> 00:30:38,461 which, for her, is basically a death march. 596 00:30:38,586 --> 00:30:41,798 She should thank me. Okay, Phyllis, thank Dwight first. 597 00:30:41,881 --> 00:30:43,299 Why should I have to thank him? 598 00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:44,860 You're right. You're right! Just... Dwight, do it. 599 00:30:44,884 --> 00:30:46,094 Just say it, okay? 600 00:30:46,177 --> 00:30:49,597 I apologize for creating a ruse which forced you to exercise. 601 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:52,308 Finally. Right? Okay. 602 00:30:52,392 --> 00:30:54,811 Phyllis, you must be exhausted from standing on those gams. 603 00:30:54,894 --> 00:30:57,480 Why don't you have a seat? Let's all clap at Phyllis. 604 00:30:57,563 --> 00:31:03,069 Okay! Michael klump wants to remind you that corporate, 605 00:31:04,070 --> 00:31:07,115 their idea, yes, was to urge you to lose weight. 606 00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:09,617 But more importantly, what this whole thing is about, 607 00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:12,245 this contest is really about being healthy. 608 00:31:12,328 --> 00:31:16,541 And in order to be healthy, you have to eat. Kelly. Kelly... 609 00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:22,714 Kelly, I want you to stand up on your chair. 610 00:31:22,797 --> 00:31:24,437 Come on. Stand up on your chair. Stand up. 611 00:31:24,465 --> 00:31:27,510 Stand up. Stand up. Somebody help her. 612 00:31:27,593 --> 00:31:30,471 Here we go. Okay. I want you to look at her. 613 00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:33,224 She's a beautiful Indian woman. 614 00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:35,268 Why? What makes her beautiful? 615 00:31:35,351 --> 00:31:37,895 Everything. She's perfect. 616 00:31:37,979 --> 00:31:39,039 Meredith: I like her nails. 617 00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:40,231 Okay, be more specific. 618 00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:41,858 I like her fingernails. 619 00:31:41,941 --> 00:31:43,359 I like her purple dress. 620 00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:44,736 What about her looks? 621 00:31:44,819 --> 00:31:46,112 Hell of an ass. 622 00:31:47,238 --> 00:31:48,614 What else do people like? 623 00:31:49,282 --> 00:31:51,784 I wonder what people like about me. 624 00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,246 Probably my jugs. 625 00:31:55,705 --> 00:31:58,166 Kelly, will you just agree to stop this madness 626 00:31:58,249 --> 00:32:00,752 and stop trying to kill yourself? 627 00:32:00,835 --> 00:32:02,920 I hate dieting. I hate it so much. 628 00:32:03,004 --> 00:32:05,048 I hate this worm inside of me. 629 00:32:05,131 --> 00:32:07,800 I want you to know... Kelly, look at me. 630 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:10,470 I want you to know that you are beautiful. 631 00:32:10,553 --> 00:32:12,388 You are truly, truly beautiful. 632 00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:14,766 Give me a hug. 633 00:32:16,893 --> 00:32:18,019 Mmm... 634 00:32:18,853 --> 00:32:19,937 Jim: Summer's going great. 635 00:32:20,021 --> 00:32:22,732 Just spent two hours listening to Michael klump. 636 00:32:22,815 --> 00:32:26,694 I have a weird pain in my left side that I'm convinced is an ulcer. 637 00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:28,154 My girlfriend lives in New York, 638 00:32:28,237 --> 00:32:31,032 and I haven't seen her in 10 days. 639 00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:32,533 How's your summer? 640 00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:43,086 Hey, Ryan, look. Shaved off my goatee. 641 00:32:43,169 --> 00:32:46,339 I am goatee-less. We are the goatee-less brothers. 642 00:32:51,010 --> 00:32:52,345 How was Friday night? 643 00:32:52,428 --> 00:32:54,138 Oh, I had a good time. 644 00:32:54,222 --> 00:32:57,141 But it's been three days and no call. 645 00:32:58,059 --> 00:33:01,562 I even have two tickets to see counting crows for tonight, so... 646 00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:02,646 He'll call. 647 00:33:02,688 --> 00:33:04,273 Oscar, enough of the girl talk, please. 648 00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,693 You guys lost four pounds. Hey. 649 00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:08,945 I say we have a parade. 650 00:33:09,028 --> 00:33:10,321 Excehent Dwight: We better. 651 00:33:10,405 --> 00:33:11,406 Good job. 652 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:15,326 So, as it turns out, tonight is my nephew's tee ball game 653 00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:17,995 and I kind of missed the first three, so... 654 00:33:18,079 --> 00:33:19,681 Pam: You've already disappointed him so much. 655 00:33:19,705 --> 00:33:21,499 He can't be expecting a lot from you. 656 00:33:21,582 --> 00:33:22,875 I know. I suck. 657 00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:24,210 Yes, you do. 658 00:33:24,335 --> 00:33:25,335 Dwight says hi. 659 00:33:25,378 --> 00:33:28,047 I do not. I do not say hi, Pam. 660 00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:29,298 He's saying hi louder. 661 00:33:29,382 --> 00:33:32,343 All right, listen, we're still good for this weekend, right? 662 00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:35,555 No tee ball games, recitals, karate tournaments. 663 00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:39,142 Hey, can you go to im? Okay. 664 00:33:39,225 --> 00:33:40,309 Okay. 665 00:33:46,524 --> 00:33:48,734 What are you writing about me? 666 00:33:59,579 --> 00:34:01,873 I'm going to write you both up for not working. 667 00:34:01,956 --> 00:34:03,666 I'm going to write you up for not working. 668 00:34:05,793 --> 00:34:07,462 Okay. Well played. 669 00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:12,049 Neither of us will write the other up for not working. 670 00:34:37,950 --> 00:34:41,120 Yeah? Oh, hey. Did he call? 671 00:34:41,245 --> 00:34:43,331 I just got... Kendall? I just got off... no, no. 672 00:34:43,414 --> 00:34:46,501 Did... I heard you talking to Oscar about that guy. 673 00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:47,936 What... what happened? Did he call? 674 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:49,170 Oh. No. 675 00:34:49,253 --> 00:34:50,713 Really? No. 676 00:34:50,796 --> 00:34:52,396 And you know what? I even got two tickets 677 00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:54,926 to see the counting crows tonight as a surprise. 678 00:34:55,009 --> 00:34:57,249 Why do guys not call when they say they're going to call? 679 00:34:57,303 --> 00:35:01,390 I don't know. I always call everybody back right away. 680 00:35:01,474 --> 00:35:02,576 But he'll call back, though. 681 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:03,785 Give him until the end of the day. 682 00:35:03,809 --> 00:35:04,894 He'll call. He'll call. 683 00:35:04,977 --> 00:35:07,980 If he doesn't, he is loco. 684 00:35:08,064 --> 00:35:10,233 Thanks. That's sweet. 685 00:35:10,316 --> 00:35:15,696 Anyways, it seems like we lost to utica by only eight pounds. 686 00:35:16,989 --> 00:35:19,075 Well, at least everyone lost weight. 687 00:35:19,158 --> 00:35:20,701 That's all that really matters. 688 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:23,704 Wait, could we have till the end of the day? 689 00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:27,750 So we're only eight pounds behind utica. 690 00:35:27,833 --> 00:35:29,126 Now, I know it's a stretch, 691 00:35:29,210 --> 00:35:32,338 but we could weigh ourselves again at the end of the day 692 00:35:32,421 --> 00:35:34,131 and maybe win this thing after all. 693 00:35:34,215 --> 00:35:35,800 Leave it to me, boss. 694 00:35:35,883 --> 00:35:38,553 I can get this whole office to make weight. 695 00:35:44,475 --> 00:35:47,228 It's going to be a little toasty in here. 696 00:35:48,020 --> 00:35:49,689 Good old-fashioned sweat lodge. 697 00:35:49,939 --> 00:35:51,607 Andy Bernard does not lose contests. 698 00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:53,442 He wins them. 699 00:35:53,526 --> 00:35:56,279 Or he quits them because they're unfair. 700 00:36:01,325 --> 00:36:03,869 Hey, is that healthy food? 701 00:36:03,953 --> 00:36:04,954 Nope. 702 00:36:05,037 --> 00:36:08,207 We're trying to win a contest here, Kelly. Please. 703 00:36:08,291 --> 00:36:10,291 Hey, Michael, I just scheduled lunch with a client, 704 00:36:10,334 --> 00:36:11,711 so I might be back a little late. 705 00:36:11,794 --> 00:36:14,463 Okay, that is fine. 706 00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:16,507 Just water and be back by weigh-in. Okay? 707 00:36:16,591 --> 00:36:17,800 Perfect. 708 00:36:24,890 --> 00:36:27,476 I hate to even ask because you've been so accommodating 709 00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:31,230 about all the wedding stuff... Your wish is my command. 710 00:36:31,897 --> 00:36:35,776 Is there any way our first dance can be to my favorite song? 711 00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:38,112 The little drummer boy. 712 00:36:38,195 --> 00:36:39,280 Of course. 713 00:36:39,363 --> 00:36:41,907 Really? Yeah! I mean, it's a great song. 714 00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:43,719 I always thought it was bigger than Christmas, 715 00:36:43,743 --> 00:36:45,328 anyway, you know? Mmm-hmm. 716 00:36:45,411 --> 00:36:46,722 And you know what? The guys already know it, 717 00:36:46,746 --> 00:36:47,830 so it's easy breezy. 718 00:36:47,913 --> 00:36:49,165 The guys? 719 00:36:50,082 --> 00:36:51,834 I didn't tell you. 720 00:36:51,917 --> 00:36:53,794 Here comes treble, class of '96, 721 00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:55,338 was available for our big day, 722 00:36:55,421 --> 00:36:57,923 so I booked them. 723 00:36:58,007 --> 00:36:59,008 I don't think that... 724 00:36:59,091 --> 00:37:01,344 And they're collectively my best man. 725 00:37:01,427 --> 00:37:05,890 And they're crashing with us for three weeks, so it totally works out. 726 00:37:05,973 --> 00:37:08,684 I don't know if I want your old college a cappella group 727 00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,811 to be our wedding band. 728 00:37:15,399 --> 00:37:19,570 Okay, I hear you, sweetheart, but this is a deal breaker. 729 00:37:24,283 --> 00:37:26,577 But you know what? You're going to love these guys. 730 00:37:26,661 --> 00:37:32,041 Carl I, Carl ll, broccoli Rob, spare rib, doobie, lunchbox. 731 00:37:32,124 --> 00:37:34,251 Boner champ, that's me, 732 00:37:34,335 --> 00:37:38,798 pubey Lewis and the news, hopscotch, jingle jangle, sandwich. 733 00:37:39,799 --> 00:37:42,510 These are the best best men a guy could ever hope for. 734 00:37:44,136 --> 00:37:46,514 Let's talk about this later. Okay. 735 00:38:08,327 --> 00:38:11,914 Pam: Hey, this is not halfway. 736 00:38:11,997 --> 00:38:15,501 I did the math. I had to drive way longer than you. 737 00:38:15,584 --> 00:38:19,296 Montclair would have been closer, so you have to buy lunch. 738 00:38:21,257 --> 00:38:23,008 What are you doing? 739 00:38:23,592 --> 00:38:26,679 I just can't wait. 740 00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:28,055 Oh, my god. 741 00:38:31,392 --> 00:38:33,436 Pam, will you marry me? 742 00:38:33,519 --> 00:38:34,812 Oh, my god! 743 00:38:40,025 --> 00:38:41,068 Yes. 744 00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:54,999 God! Where is Jim? 745 00:38:55,082 --> 00:38:56,667 I'm calling it. 746 00:38:56,751 --> 00:38:59,253 I guess that's curtains for the yoga guy. 747 00:38:59,336 --> 00:39:00,336 Oh, really? 748 00:39:00,379 --> 00:39:01,380 Yeah. 749 00:39:01,464 --> 00:39:04,133 I have to say, I think the problem with that whole thing... 750 00:39:04,216 --> 00:39:05,217 Yeah? 751 00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:07,470 Was that he was a complete stupid idiot. 752 00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:10,639 Oh, man, I really wanted to see them. 753 00:39:10,723 --> 00:39:11,766 I know. 754 00:39:11,849 --> 00:39:13,142 I love... I love counting crows. 755 00:39:13,225 --> 00:39:15,186 Look where my seats were. 756 00:39:15,269 --> 00:39:16,979 Wow! Really? Yeah. 757 00:39:17,062 --> 00:39:18,397 That's a shame. 758 00:39:19,273 --> 00:39:21,817 Shame to waste these. 759 00:39:23,235 --> 00:39:25,404 I want to buy them from you. 760 00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,116 Michael, you don't have to buy them. I do. No... 761 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,745 I do. I... I want to. Trust me, I really do. 762 00:39:34,413 --> 00:39:35,498 Okay. 763 00:39:35,581 --> 00:39:37,333 Okay? Yeah. 764 00:39:37,416 --> 00:39:38,709 All right. 765 00:39:39,835 --> 00:39:41,170 All right. 766 00:39:44,089 --> 00:39:49,094 Just... I want you to just forget about him, okay? Case closed. 767 00:39:51,597 --> 00:39:52,723 Can I pay you tomorrow? 768 00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:55,684 I have like a $60 limit on my atm, so... 769 00:39:55,768 --> 00:39:57,978 Yeah. Is that good? 770 00:39:58,062 --> 00:39:59,063 Hey. Sorry, everybody. 771 00:39:59,146 --> 00:40:00,207 Hey, what are you smiling about there, 772 00:40:00,231 --> 00:40:02,483 smiley pants? You're late. 773 00:40:02,566 --> 00:40:03,818 Wet tuna. 774 00:40:04,777 --> 00:40:06,237 Hey, Dwight. Ryan: Okay. 775 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:07,530 What's up, Meredith? Nothing. 776 00:40:07,613 --> 00:40:08,614 You're dripping on me. 777 00:40:08,697 --> 00:40:10,175 Michael: Darryl, would you do the honors? 778 00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:11,909 2,175. 779 00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:14,387 Darryl: Sorry, guys. No, no, no. No, no. 780 00:40:14,411 --> 00:40:15,955 I don't want to hear moaning. 781 00:40:16,038 --> 00:40:17,414 This is a good day. 782 00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:20,084 You guys accomplished something big. 783 00:40:20,167 --> 00:40:24,296 You lost a ton of weight, literally, a lot of weight. 784 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:26,799 And I don't care what any stupid scale says, 785 00:40:26,882 --> 00:40:29,635 you guys are all gigantic losers. 786 00:40:31,136 --> 00:40:32,888 I don't know about anyone else, 787 00:40:32,972 --> 00:40:34,723 but it was a good summer for me. 788 00:40:34,807 --> 00:40:37,059 I lost seven pounds. 789 00:40:37,142 --> 00:40:38,519 And you know what? 790 00:40:38,602 --> 00:40:41,647 I'm just going to take five days off anyway. 791 00:40:58,789 --> 00:41:02,710 Iwent zip lining my third day in Costa Rica. 792 00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:06,839 I guess the harness wasn't strapped in exactly right. 793 00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:10,009 I broke my neck. And... 794 00:41:11,510 --> 00:41:14,346 I've been in the hospital five weeks now. 795 00:41:16,015 --> 00:41:18,350 I still haven't seen the beach. 796 00:41:20,227 --> 00:41:22,354 It's nice to have visitors.