1 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:14,960 Amazing! 2 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,760 I am indeed! What's the score now? 3 00:00:17,839 --> 00:00:20,440 427 to 309. 4 00:00:20,519 --> 00:00:22,480 - Whose is which? - I can't remember. 5 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,160 I love this. This is so fun. 6 00:00:27,239 --> 00:00:29,160 - We should have more fun. - Agreed. 7 00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:32,119 Because fun is fun, and surprising. 8 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,200 Like you are surprising. I had no idea you were fun. 9 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:35,799 Nor I you. 10 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,399 I always thought you were a monstrous slut. 11 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:40,640 But now we see each other, and it is dazzling and wonderful. 12 00:00:40,719 --> 00:00:42,799 And what a time we have had! And also... 13 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,039 Oh, my God. I have so many thoughts going on right now. 14 00:00:46,119 --> 00:00:47,520 I can see it in your face. 15 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,159 I'm imagining bullets exploding in your head. 16 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,679 - That is what it is like. - Thankfully, only in metaphor. 17 00:00:52,759 --> 00:00:56,079 What if the Enlightenment was fun? The ideas. 18 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,880 My mind just exploded. It's brilliant! 19 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,519 The court see it as dull. The peasants see it as unintelligible. 20 00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:06,799 And the merchants... Who knows what those greedy fucks think? 21 00:01:06,879 --> 00:01:09,280 But if it was fun, they may connect with it in a new way. 22 00:01:09,359 --> 00:01:12,079 - And they would see me as fun. - And they would not hate you. 23 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,400 They do not hate me. 24 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,319 I'm kidding with you! 25 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:19,760 Fun! 26 00:01:21,359 --> 00:01:22,280 Drinks. 27 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,280 To be serious for a moment, 28 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,439 they do hate me out there. 29 00:01:34,519 --> 00:01:38,239 There are peasants, faces like squashed potatoes, hating me, 30 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:40,760 face-fucking dolls of me, riled up by Pugachev. 31 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:42,480 - And you know what? - It scares you? 32 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,920 It makes me fucking hate them, 33 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,159 and like I could boil them alive in my rage. 34 00:01:47,519 --> 00:01:48,519 Gosh! 35 00:01:48,599 --> 00:01:50,920 But that is not a thought for today, for today is fun. 36 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:52,840 Let us put our heads together. 37 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,239 Literal, but I love it. 38 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,200 This is my idea. 39 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,319 They are apparently inventing a thing called a train. 40 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,640 We build one, we go to the region Pugachev is in, and-- 41 00:02:05,719 --> 00:02:07,000 - Kill him? - No! 42 00:02:07,079 --> 00:02:08,719 That is what they want us to do. 43 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,159 We stop in every town, we play badminton, 44 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,479 and we discuss the Enlightenment, as we do, in a fun way. 45 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,439 And then you suck one peasant's cock in each town 46 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,439 to show we feel they are not beneath us. 47 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,919 - And I suck a peasant's cock? - I can do it too. We could take turns. 48 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:28,199 The train is the problem, as it is not yet existing. 49 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:32,439 I see. I see. What could we do today in court though? 50 00:02:33,599 --> 00:02:35,280 Yes. Today is more important. 51 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:39,680 What if we could have a fun day at court? A festival of plays, ideas. 52 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:46,240 Yes! Everyone must tell jokes and dance and fucking quote Voltaire backwards 53 00:02:46,319 --> 00:02:48,240 and eat kumquats from each other's mouths! 54 00:02:48,319 --> 00:02:51,840 We will call it... something fucking good. 55 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,319 The Festival of Truth, Jokes and Stunningly Clever Ideas. 56 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,759 - Love it! - I love how focused you are. 57 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,000 You only see the future and what you need to do. 58 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,400 You are fucking amazing! 59 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,080 Why, thank you. 60 00:03:03,159 --> 00:03:06,000 Look at me. I fucking love you. You have changed me. 61 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,840 You have torn out the old George 62 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:10,400 and dumped her compliant body and mind on the side of the road 63 00:03:10,479 --> 00:03:11,919 and made me new! 64 00:03:13,199 --> 00:03:15,199 It's funny you once ate my pussy, isn't it? 65 00:03:16,479 --> 00:03:18,879 - I never think about it. - Me neither. 66 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:19,919 God. 67 00:03:20,479 --> 00:03:23,719 I need a fucking bath. I smell like a peasant who died of syphilis 68 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,479 and was buried in an ox in high summer. 69 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,080 I was thinking exactly that about myself. 70 00:03:27,159 --> 00:03:30,599 Then let us go bathe and let the fun unleash. 71 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,960 It will be a marvelous lunch that does not stop. 72 00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,919 There will be games and music. 73 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:41,039 We will need birds and a plinth and desserts, obviously, and... 74 00:03:55,919 --> 00:03:56,840 Tea? 75 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,639 - Where's Georgina? - I don't know. 76 00:03:59,719 --> 00:04:01,680 I need you to help me with Madam Dymov. 77 00:04:01,759 --> 00:04:04,199 You know there is a sizzling attraction between her and I 78 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:05,759 that pulls at the bonds of our class 79 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,280 and one day will tear them and our clothes apart 80 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,120 and we will have each other. 81 00:04:10,199 --> 00:04:13,520 I'm a bit confused. I was... I was dreaming. 82 00:04:14,199 --> 00:04:17,279 - And maybe I still am. - I need help tearing at the bonds. 83 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,040 What's she like? What gets to her? 84 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,399 I had a dream. Where's George? 85 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,519 - She's been gone all night. - What? 86 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,720 - I'm not dreaming, am I? - No. 87 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,560 What does she like? Shall I casually expose a breast? 88 00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:34,839 - What? - Georgina. 89 00:04:35,199 --> 00:04:37,920 I was thinking I might bite her ear. Thoughts? 90 00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:41,759 - George. - Darling. 91 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,959 - You may go, Petra. - I am at your whim. Any whim. 92 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,720 Information I already know. 93 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:51,120 - Where were you? - With Catherine. 94 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:56,120 - Is she all right? Did she tell you? - She's fine. And she didn't. 95 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,720 - Are you all right? - No, I'm not. 96 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,279 - How am I gonna be without him? How? - I... 97 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:07,639 Don't know? Because you can't. Because I fucking can't be without him! I can't! 98 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,879 - Grigor, come here. - You touch me, I'll dissolve. 99 00:05:12,759 --> 00:05:14,759 What am I in this world without him? 100 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,279 - He's... - Everything. 101 00:05:18,079 --> 00:05:19,000 I know. 102 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,920 - I keep seeing us as kids in the halls. - Jesus. 103 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:29,399 - You haven't told anyone, have you? - No. 104 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,240 Catherine is insane. 105 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,000 They will hate her if she hasn't told them and they find out. 106 00:05:35,079 --> 00:05:37,519 - Indeed, they will. - Fuck. 107 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:41,000 Every time I sleep, I wake up unsure, 108 00:05:42,879 --> 00:05:46,439 and then I remember the icy water, his face. 109 00:05:46,519 --> 00:05:48,920 God. I loved him. 110 00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:51,560 I know. 111 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,839 I think maybe I should go and see Catherine. 112 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:56,959 And I love you. 113 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,759 Whatever I do, it's for us. 114 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,399 Wait here a minute. 115 00:06:08,879 --> 00:06:10,639 It's fucking real, isn't it? 116 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,759 Yes, but it's all right. 117 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:14,839 I know what to do. 118 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,680 If I hadn't fucking told her. If I... 119 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,399 - Maybe I was disloyal. - You weren't. You fucking loved him. 120 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,759 - We were all happy until her. - Yeah. 121 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,399 He's dead. 122 00:06:29,759 --> 00:06:31,639 The words are pounding my head in. 123 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:33,480 Drink your tea though. 124 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:40,759 What do we do? 125 00:06:41,759 --> 00:06:42,680 You can sleep. 126 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,839 I need to see Marial. 127 00:06:49,439 --> 00:06:51,519 Careful, darling. You need to rest. 128 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,000 - Is Peter dead? - What the fuck? 129 00:07:04,079 --> 00:07:05,360 You eavesdropping little bitch. 130 00:07:05,439 --> 00:07:08,360 It's my job to anticipate your every need. Helps if I eavesdrop. 131 00:07:08,439 --> 00:07:10,160 - Is he? - No. 132 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,199 - He fucking is. - You can't utter a word. 133 00:07:13,279 --> 00:07:14,240 Shit. 134 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,040 I... Are you all right? 135 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:19,560 You loved him. 136 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:23,160 I was so jealous, hearing you moaning under him as I brought him cake. 137 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,040 Petra, you need to keep your mouth shut. 138 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,160 I'll pay you. 139 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,920 I'm more of an experience-driven person. 140 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,639 Fine. 141 00:07:39,839 --> 00:07:40,759 Yes? 142 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:43,959 That was really fucking nice. 143 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:47,040 - I knew it would be. - We have a deal. 144 00:07:53,399 --> 00:07:55,120 What the fuck, George? 145 00:07:56,279 --> 00:07:57,240 George! 146 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,399 Fuck. 147 00:08:13,519 --> 00:08:15,519 Leonora, I don't want to be in here. 148 00:08:16,199 --> 00:08:18,600 And where is everyone? And why aren't we working? 149 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,319 Is Russia suddenly running itself? 150 00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:23,800 Well, if it is, it is no doubt into a ditch, as that is its way. 151 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:27,279 So let us not have that on a day of fun and brilliance! 152 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,200 Morning! 153 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:37,399 We are to have the funnest lunch today. 154 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,360 - Archie. - Empress? 155 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,399 A joke, everyone. 156 00:08:43,919 --> 00:08:47,120 Why was the lute teacher arrested? 157 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,480 For fingering a minor. 158 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:56,240 Minor chord, and a minor is a term for a... Fuck me. Really? 159 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,240 How do you circumcise a Georgian? 160 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,840 Kick his sister in the jaw. 161 00:09:04,399 --> 00:09:06,639 Empress, we need to talk about Pugachev. 162 00:09:07,279 --> 00:09:09,240 Smolny, a joke, immediately. 163 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:13,039 What do you call a man who whistles when he speaks? A cunt. 164 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,639 And then you smash his fucking teeth in, 165 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,080 so the only sound he makes is a gulping noise as he swallows his own blood. 166 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,759 A fucking problematic human, that Smolny. 167 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,360 A roaming, bathing empress! How marvelous. 168 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,360 Elizabeth, a joke! 169 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,960 What's red and yet translucent, 170 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,840 covered in flowers, lives in the sea, eats only plankton and anchovies, 171 00:09:34,919 --> 00:09:38,039 speaks in tongues, can change its color as it wills, 172 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,919 can disgorge poison from its eyes and makes a noise like a small flute? 173 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,840 Gosh. I don't know. 174 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,679 Neither do I, but it will be wonderful when we find it. 175 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,200 Onwards! 176 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,799 They say he'll speak in the hall at midday. 177 00:10:15,879 --> 00:10:19,480 - And then bam, bam, bam! - Put the fucking gun down, Maxim. 178 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:22,279 I'd love to do it, a gesture of affection. 179 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,120 - Sweet, but no. - Or we do it together. 180 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:29,399 Get him in a cross-fire situation. And then bam, bam, bam! 181 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,639 Fucking hell. 182 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,320 It would be a fond memory, 183 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,799 and we've not done many couple things in our marriage. 184 00:10:36,519 --> 00:10:37,519 I'm doing it. 185 00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:42,440 - You're waiting in the carriage. - What? It was my idea. 186 00:10:42,759 --> 00:10:45,000 - You heard me. - Unbelievable. 187 00:10:50,799 --> 00:10:52,000 Marvelous. 188 00:10:52,399 --> 00:10:55,600 - What's going on? - We are to have the most fun lunch. 189 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:58,440 Elizabeth, we are to reinvent discourse in a fun way, 190 00:10:58,519 --> 00:11:00,919 wrapping ideas in joy and shiny paper. 191 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,840 - Are you all right? - You seem-- 192 00:11:02,919 --> 00:11:05,840 Inspired, and it is coursing through my veins. 193 00:11:05,919 --> 00:11:08,159 Empress, we must discuss Pugachev. 194 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:12,440 I have begun negotiations, and he's put some things on the table. 195 00:11:12,519 --> 00:11:14,559 We shouldn't negotiate with any terrorists 196 00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:18,039 who were once sassy but charismatic employees. 197 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,120 What? 198 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,039 She said we shouldn't negotiate with terrorists. 199 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:25,480 Are you losing your hearing, Archie? My father did. It was so annoying. 200 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,559 Every day, "Morning, Father. I said morning!" 201 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,799 - Is anyone else cold? I feel freezing. - Good morning. 202 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:35,679 Sorry. 203 00:11:35,759 --> 00:11:38,919 You can face me. It is just an incredible, naked body. 204 00:11:40,519 --> 00:11:44,440 Siberia. Petrov, three facts about Siberia and a joke. 205 00:11:44,519 --> 00:11:47,080 It's cold. Really cold. Unimaginably cold. 206 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,960 What is red and not good for your teeth? 207 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,559 - A flying brick. - Marvelous. 208 00:11:52,639 --> 00:11:54,919 I found Pugachev. Seemed important, hence the bursting in. 209 00:11:55,399 --> 00:11:56,399 You what? 210 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,519 "Found Pugachev." I believe that's what he said. 211 00:11:58,600 --> 00:11:59,879 Your hearing, Archie. 212 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:03,559 He's in Tekov. Apparently, hiding out in a church. 213 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:04,919 The... 214 00:12:05,919 --> 00:12:06,919 Outrageous. 215 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,720 There will be flagellations and excommunications over this. 216 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:13,360 Interesting information, 217 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,240 but basically irrelevant, as I have a deal brewing. 218 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,080 My people tell me he's rallying today. I can have men there in four hours. 219 00:12:19,159 --> 00:12:23,440 I think we have a plan that does not involve bloodshed. 220 00:12:23,759 --> 00:12:25,360 The empress hates bloodshed. 221 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,519 - Let's spare Russian lives, shall we? - Up to the empress. 222 00:12:30,159 --> 00:12:31,759 We have a few options. It's in our plan. 223 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,200 Plan? 224 00:12:33,279 --> 00:12:35,080 Summary: We arrest him alive, 225 00:12:35,159 --> 00:12:38,399 or bring his head home in a bag, put it in a cannon and let rip. 226 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,600 He has quite a militia, so there'll be a bit of a battle. 227 00:12:41,039 --> 00:12:43,600 - Pointless bloodshed. - He's raised an army, actually. 228 00:12:44,279 --> 00:12:46,039 Apparently, he has a real turn of phrase. 229 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,159 Obviously, they're piling up dead nobles like kindling. 230 00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:51,080 In fact, quite often using them for kindling, 231 00:12:51,159 --> 00:12:53,159 which, considering the winter we've been having, 232 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,080 has an efficient kind of logic. 233 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,440 You scared me! 234 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,720 - Empress! - Towel. 235 00:13:14,799 --> 00:13:17,080 I cannot be wet during an important discussion. 236 00:13:17,159 --> 00:13:20,080 Elizabeth, the French should pay their debts in art from now on. 237 00:13:20,159 --> 00:13:23,159 - Make a note. - All out while the empress dresses. 238 00:13:24,159 --> 00:13:27,360 Look at you both. Inflamed with sick, and yet understandable, desire 239 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,480 and pretending you are not. 240 00:13:28,879 --> 00:13:31,480 I'm not pretending. I just wasn't sure how vocal to be about it. 241 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:35,519 - I have no feelings below the waist. - Thing is, time is important. 242 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,840 I know where he is now, might not tomorrow. 243 00:13:38,159 --> 00:13:41,279 Which is why negotiating is the plan we are on, 244 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,120 which does not have a time pressure on it. 245 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,639 Unless, of course, you're a noble they're about to set alight. 246 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,639 I clearly remember saying "out." 247 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,480 We'd also like to discuss the Swedish campaign, 248 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:53,080 as no one in the military seemed to know. Everyone's a bit, "What the fuck?" 249 00:13:53,159 --> 00:13:55,480 So, love to catch up on that. 250 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,399 Win my favor. You have ten seconds. 251 00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:09,159 You're handsome and pretty. 252 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:13,240 Just another word for "handsome." What do you want? 253 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,159 - Whatever you-- - Decide? Will? Whatever my whim? 254 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:18,159 Yes. 255 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,720 Raise up your clapping hands for Boris. 256 00:14:25,159 --> 00:14:26,639 Thanks for coming up, Boris. 257 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,639 That is how she wants you to live. 258 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,879 She fucking hates Russians. That's the hard truth of it. 259 00:14:37,799 --> 00:14:40,759 - Yes. - Yes, that's true. 260 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:43,919 Yeah, I knew a woman-- 261 00:14:44,559 --> 00:14:46,039 beautiful, smart, 262 00:14:46,679 --> 00:14:50,440 a fucking stick of fire who could drink and spar with anyone, 263 00:14:50,519 --> 00:14:52,320 born to fucking title, 264 00:14:53,399 --> 00:14:56,000 and they just took it from her. 265 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,159 Yeah, suddenly, she's covered in shit, lice, 266 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,960 beatings, the odd cock in her face, taking it from everyone. 267 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,279 And then, suddenly, 268 00:15:06,159 --> 00:15:07,559 they yank her back up. 269 00:15:07,919 --> 00:15:09,960 "You please us, you can live." 270 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,799 Then, "No, you can't," and they throw her back down. 271 00:15:14,679 --> 00:15:17,639 The joke is, she imagines herself an independent spirit. 272 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,759 She is fucking deluded. 273 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,039 She is a puppet. 274 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,000 She is what they made her, 275 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:33,200 a scared, angry woman, desperate for approval 276 00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:35,600 so she can take a free fucking breath. 277 00:15:35,919 --> 00:15:38,000 And I, for one, fucking love her. 278 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:39,679 For she does what we all do. 279 00:15:39,759 --> 00:15:42,120 Who hasn't walked into a room wondering, 280 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,799 "What if I displease them? Or have done?" 281 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:49,720 And I aimed to change all that. 282 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,240 I, Peter, 283 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,440 son of Peter the Great! 284 00:15:59,519 --> 00:16:01,360 You know what I was about to do? 285 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,639 I was about to change everything, and she smelt it. 286 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,320 - You know what I was about to do? - What? 287 00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:09,519 I wanted to free all the serfs. 288 00:16:11,159 --> 00:16:16,639 Yes. Yes. And remove all taxes on the merchants. 289 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:22,080 Yeah, let people free. Release us from our bonds. 290 00:16:22,159 --> 00:16:25,559 Our brains are as fucking trapped as our bodies, my friends! 291 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,519 Peter! Peter! Peter! 292 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,600 Peter! Peter! 293 00:16:31,679 --> 00:16:32,679 Bring her out! 294 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,879 Peter! Peter! Peter! 295 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:40,399 Fuck her up! Fuck her up! 296 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:44,960 Fuck her up! Fuck her up! 297 00:16:45,039 --> 00:16:47,639 Fuck her up! Fuck her up! 298 00:16:49,919 --> 00:16:51,399 Who wants at it? 299 00:16:52,039 --> 00:16:53,799 Fuck her up! Fuck her up! 300 00:17:02,759 --> 00:17:05,839 Fuck her up! Fuck her up! Fuck her up! 301 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,039 Hello. 302 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,519 - You are-- - Very enlivened and excited. 303 00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:27,359 The empress has a plan to reset the way we talk about the Enlightenment, 304 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,000 to throw open the doors to dissent and also satire. 305 00:17:30,079 --> 00:17:33,000 And that's where you come in. Today, you put on your play! 306 00:17:33,839 --> 00:17:36,680 I cannot. I showed only you. 307 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,720 It's treason. 308 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,480 - Very funny treason. - Still treason. 309 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,000 - I was angry when I wrote it. - I think you're being too harsh. 310 00:17:48,079 --> 00:17:50,960 It is a gift, and you must unwrap it and show it to the world. 311 00:17:51,039 --> 00:17:52,039 I don't know, I-- 312 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:54,799 Katya, are you a coward full of hot air who will die wondering if 313 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:56,279 you could've made an impact on this earth? 314 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:57,519 Jesus. 315 00:17:57,599 --> 00:17:59,119 You wanna lie in your grave and think what? 316 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,039 "I've tasted a few cocks, I've taught a few girls, 317 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,279 "and my true gift died in my heart like a sparrow in a jar"? 318 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:05,960 - She will-- - She will love it. 319 00:18:06,039 --> 00:18:08,039 I have been with her all night. We misjudge her. 320 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:11,000 She wants aggressive discourse. She will fucking love it and you. 321 00:18:11,079 --> 00:18:14,319 And you will be the toast of these halls. You will be seen! 322 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,960 You will be fucking Molière with a pussy. 323 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:22,400 - I love that. Molière with a pussy. - The toast of fucking Russia. 324 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,559 Get it ready. 325 00:18:33,759 --> 00:18:36,559 So my question is, how much art is enough? 326 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,559 And do we need more museums? Which, of course, we do. 327 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,759 I should tour the regions, incognito, in a hat. 328 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,559 Are you all right? 329 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,160 I'm great. Excited about today. 330 00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:49,279 Something has come loose in you. 331 00:18:50,279 --> 00:18:51,200 I'm... 332 00:18:52,839 --> 00:18:56,599 I was the same whenever Peter the Great went off to battle. 333 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,359 I was quite unhinged. 334 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,960 I had all the doors removed from the west wing 335 00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:02,759 because I thought, when he came back, 336 00:19:02,839 --> 00:19:05,319 I would not have the delay of opening doors. 337 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:07,920 And I couldn't sleep, 338 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,920 and I took to swimming hundreds of rounds of the lake, 339 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,160 until I would collapse on the bank, 340 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,960 breathless and riddled with cramps and covered in leeches, 341 00:19:17,039 --> 00:19:19,119 and they had to carry me back to the palace. 342 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:20,640 Yes. 343 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,640 I think that might be it, 344 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,359 that I even imagined him dead. 345 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,039 I did that all the time. 346 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:31,039 I would imagine him dead in battle, on the road, everywhere. 347 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:32,160 It haunted me. 348 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,920 - Yes, but was not true. - No! 349 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,200 Your heart swirls and clouds your mind, and it is the worst. 350 00:19:38,799 --> 00:19:40,000 Oh, yes. 351 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,279 It's why I'm so cold, I think. 352 00:19:45,759 --> 00:19:48,119 We must have fun. Let's just have fun. 353 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,359 What are you doing? We have a lunch. 354 00:19:52,319 --> 00:19:54,119 I put grapes in my hair. Try one. 355 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,319 Tart, like you. 356 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,160 What the fuck? 357 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,680 "We shouldn't negotiate with terrorists"? I thought we had a deal. 358 00:20:08,759 --> 00:20:11,920 We can't be seen to support this. Then it would look like we're ganging up. 359 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,920 - And your hands remain clean. - Something like that. 360 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,599 If you want me to carry your water, don't stab a hole in the bucket. 361 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:22,359 Archie, you need to end it. It seems to be getting out of hand. 362 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:32,599 Now! 363 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,599 Welcome to the Festival of Fun, Truth and Mesmerizing Ideas. 364 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,039 Release the birds. 365 00:20:40,759 --> 00:20:44,079 Let us set free our ideas and kill the weak ones, 366 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,759 leaving only the best to fly. 367 00:20:50,319 --> 00:20:53,480 Also, realize, this is a visual metaphor of that idea. 368 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:58,200 Everyone, a joke, because it is also fun, this Enlightenment. 369 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:06,160 A bear walks into a tavern and says, "I'd like a... vodka." 370 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,440 The barman says, "Why the big pause?" 371 00:21:09,079 --> 00:21:10,119 "Born with them." 372 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,359 Adorable and unexpected. 373 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,400 What does my ex-wife think about when she's fucking her new lover? 374 00:21:19,799 --> 00:21:23,559 Hopefully, how much I miss her and what a special thing we had. 375 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:30,119 What's blue, cold and good in bed? 376 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,680 A dead peasant! 377 00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:42,160 Polo! 378 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,240 - Marco! - Polo! 379 00:21:51,079 --> 00:21:53,400 - Marco! - Polo! 380 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,680 Is she all right? 381 00:21:55,759 --> 00:21:58,839 Peter is at war. Fear manifests in strange ways. 382 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,559 Marco! 383 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,920 - This sudden friendship seems startling. - Indeed. 384 00:22:05,599 --> 00:22:07,880 Why are you wearing four seasons of clothing? 385 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,759 I'm very cold, 386 00:22:09,839 --> 00:22:11,559 and all day I've grown colder. 387 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,319 - Have you seen Vinodel? - It feels deeper than that. 388 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,880 And not just fear. 389 00:22:17,599 --> 00:22:19,039 I don't know what though. 390 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,480 The body, what a thing. 391 00:22:22,039 --> 00:22:24,480 We do not have control over our own carriage, 392 00:22:24,559 --> 00:22:27,359 and it would run us into a ditch at a moment's notice. 393 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:29,240 You're right. 394 00:22:30,319 --> 00:22:33,559 The body has answers before the mind knows the questions. 395 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,279 It's the body's questions I hate, to be honest. 396 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,079 - Marco! - Polo! 397 00:22:44,559 --> 00:22:47,039 - Marco! - Polo! 398 00:22:52,319 --> 00:22:54,359 I am so sorry. Reflex. 399 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:02,920 I guess I'm it. 400 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,559 You do it? In the eye, like I said? 401 00:23:14,839 --> 00:23:16,200 - Couldn't. - What? 402 00:23:16,279 --> 00:23:20,359 I listened to what he said, and a lot of it... I fucking agree with. 403 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,920 I'm here about to murder someone who's done nothing to me, 404 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,599 because I need the empress to like me or I'm fucked? 405 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,960 Let's focus on the last half of that sentence. 406 00:23:30,039 --> 00:23:32,920 The "you're fucked" bit, add me in. Make it "we're fucked." 407 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,039 - Maxim, I'm not doing it. - Marial, we had a plan. 408 00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,880 New plan: Archie's plan plays out. 409 00:23:39,319 --> 00:23:41,880 Archie will manage the whole thing, and we will slide out of it. 410 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,119 - He is an expert at this. - How very disappointing. 411 00:23:47,079 --> 00:23:48,000 Let's go home. 412 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,440 - I have to pee. - Why didn't you while I was in there? 413 00:23:51,839 --> 00:23:55,440 'Cause you said stay in the carriage, and I am obviously, unlike you, 414 00:23:55,519 --> 00:23:58,960 the person in the partnership whose word can be trusted. 415 00:24:07,039 --> 00:24:09,480 Archie, we must put our heads together. 416 00:24:10,519 --> 00:24:12,640 I will begin negotiations 417 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,680 and counsel against the military's bloodthirsty madness. 418 00:24:16,759 --> 00:24:19,359 - But what will make them not hate me? - Show of strength. 419 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:21,759 Are you lurking? 420 00:24:21,839 --> 00:24:24,799 I just have an instinct for when I should be somewhere. Always have. 421 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,200 I once walked, not knowing why, across two fields and a stream, 422 00:24:28,279 --> 00:24:30,240 stopped under a tree, heard a rustling noise, 423 00:24:30,319 --> 00:24:32,599 looked up as a young girl fell, caught her in my arms. 424 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,039 - Fascinating. What was her name? - Olga. 425 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:37,519 - What sort of tree? - Oak. 426 00:24:37,599 --> 00:24:40,480 Can we agree to just negotiate a peaceful settlement? 427 00:24:40,559 --> 00:24:43,599 It's not just him though. It's the army of hate that he's whipped up. 428 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,759 Which dies with his disappearance and presumed death. 429 00:24:47,279 --> 00:24:49,200 - The opposite happened with Jesus. - Good point. 430 00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:51,720 - People love a martyr. - Joan of Arc. 431 00:24:51,799 --> 00:24:54,680 My sisters and I dressed up like her and set fire to ourselves. 432 00:24:54,759 --> 00:24:57,039 - Real fire? - Can we stop? 433 00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,119 Are you yelling because you're deaf? 434 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,799 I am not deaf. 435 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:06,160 - And I have the solution at hand. - As do I. 436 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,759 So Petrov creates a perimeter from which he cannot escape, 437 00:25:09,839 --> 00:25:11,000 Archie negotiates. 438 00:25:11,079 --> 00:25:13,119 And if it goes wrong, Petrov unleashes war upon them. 439 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,319 And if it goes right, 440 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,200 Petrov's men hand out rubles with my name on them to everyone. 441 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,480 - Good plan. - Good plan. 442 00:25:22,319 --> 00:25:25,039 When you're out there, and the crowd looks up at you, 443 00:25:25,799 --> 00:25:28,359 this fucking energy force. 444 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,039 Now, I've been in battle, 445 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:34,319 and you feel the energy like palpable fucking waves of hate and fear. 446 00:25:35,599 --> 00:25:39,079 But this is fucking love, and it tingles the fucking skin. 447 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,519 And then, you know, words and ideas come out of me 448 00:25:42,599 --> 00:25:47,799 I've never thought before, and they're right and true, and... 449 00:25:48,519 --> 00:25:50,079 Fuck me. 450 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:51,920 Jesus, that is good! 451 00:25:54,799 --> 00:25:56,160 You are marvelous. 452 00:26:06,039 --> 00:26:07,400 I love you, Emperor Peter. 453 00:26:08,759 --> 00:26:11,799 Fucking love you too. Silky fucking mouth, well played. 454 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:17,759 Pugachev, I presume. 455 00:26:19,079 --> 00:26:21,480 No, I don't fuck little boys. Rule of mine. 456 00:26:21,559 --> 00:26:25,000 Farewell, sir. May your trip to hell be fast and fiery. 457 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,000 Driver! Go! 458 00:26:40,079 --> 00:26:43,319 - What the fuck, Maxim? - I shot him dead. It was Maxim-esque! 459 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:44,920 You're fucking joking! 460 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,119 Sometimes the man must take control. You, my dear, are welcome. 461 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,920 Driver, go! 462 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,519 These fucking people. 463 00:27:14,079 --> 00:27:15,000 Empress. 464 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,880 - Katya has written a play. - Huzzah! I love a play! 465 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:20,599 I'm not sure about this. 466 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:21,960 It will be fun! 467 00:27:22,039 --> 00:27:25,039 We don't know what it is. It's about you, that's all I know. 468 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,799 Me? Huzzah. It will make them love me. 469 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,200 Shall we have a play? 470 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,640 Once, we could not have imagined ourselves writing plays. 471 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,839 Our gratitude to our empress. 472 00:27:50,599 --> 00:27:52,240 Peasant, I need a seat. 473 00:27:54,519 --> 00:27:57,880 I have a story to tell. I'm the narrator. 474 00:28:01,319 --> 00:28:04,759 On arriving in Russia. 475 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,400 Russia! 476 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,519 It burns in my heart. 477 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,000 I see its golden promise. 478 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,160 My new wife. 479 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,880 - I bring the Enlightenment. - And a silky mouth. 480 00:28:29,319 --> 00:28:31,759 Well done. Faster! 481 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,160 Voltaire! 482 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,319 Diderot! 483 00:28:41,079 --> 00:28:42,559 Montesquieu! 484 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,599 I just blew Montesquieu! 485 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,319 Shall I stop it? It would look bad, but... 486 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:58,839 I must take this land and its poor, trodden-on people. 487 00:28:59,759 --> 00:29:04,079 I will free the peasants, and they will be grateful and love me. 488 00:29:06,559 --> 00:29:07,680 Who are you? 489 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:09,880 Hello, I'm Leo. 490 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,559 Have a peach and some light foreplay. 491 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,279 I'm Orlo. Let's go change this land. 492 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:20,240 Let's do both. 493 00:29:20,559 --> 00:29:22,839 Rid this land and create a new one. 494 00:29:23,839 --> 00:29:25,119 I love you, Leo. 495 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:29,599 Well? 496 00:29:34,319 --> 00:29:37,880 - Can I take that? - Of course. I love you. 497 00:29:38,839 --> 00:29:42,119 Put the crown on my head and your tongue in my pussy. 498 00:29:59,519 --> 00:30:04,279 I crown me Catherine of Much Unrealized Promise. 499 00:30:05,359 --> 00:30:07,279 We have much to do. 500 00:30:07,359 --> 00:30:10,960 We shall need complete focus and no resiling from our-- 501 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,200 Fuck yeah! Eat that pussy! 502 00:30:14,599 --> 00:30:16,079 Free those serfs! 503 00:30:19,839 --> 00:30:23,000 I am Catherine of Much Unrealized Promise, 504 00:30:23,359 --> 00:30:25,559 and I have come to save you. 505 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,119 So firstly, be better! 506 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:29,799 Huzzah. 507 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,480 Read books, agree with me and wake up to the fact you're shit, 508 00:30:34,559 --> 00:30:38,799 but noble at heart and ready to rise! 509 00:30:41,359 --> 00:30:44,799 I think we must have more concrete plans. 510 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,240 - Who are you again? - Orlo! 511 00:30:53,079 --> 00:30:54,440 Where did he go? 512 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:56,680 To Russia. 513 00:30:57,319 --> 00:31:00,160 We ride to the future together! 514 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:45,000 Don't say "neigh," say "yay"! 515 00:32:09,839 --> 00:32:11,960 Everyone, dance! 516 00:32:12,839 --> 00:32:14,400 Until you throw up! 517 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:16,640 Brilliant! 518 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,559 No one may leave the dance floor until they have. 519 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,079 God, so... 520 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:22,920 I feel a bit... 521 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:27,720 She said dance, you fuckers! Dance! 522 00:32:34,799 --> 00:32:38,440 - Let me go! - I'm very, very annoyed at you! 523 00:32:43,559 --> 00:32:45,119 - All good? - Quiet. 524 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:46,440 Unlock it. 525 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:54,839 And you, go downstairs and start telling the servants about Peter. 526 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:56,400 I'm telling now? I thought I wasn't telling. 527 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:57,599 Life evolves. 528 00:32:58,839 --> 00:33:01,039 - I might need something. - How 'bout I don't beat you? 529 00:33:01,119 --> 00:33:03,119 How 'bout you do, and I'm naked when you do it? 530 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,240 Fine. Just go. 531 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,279 You're okay. You're okay. You're okay. 532 00:33:45,359 --> 00:33:47,519 - It's okay. - Fuck off! 533 00:33:47,599 --> 00:33:49,079 - Tatyana, try and-- - I understand. 534 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:50,680 Best friends with the empress! 535 00:33:51,319 --> 00:33:54,680 Always sucking up to the top, that's fucking you. 536 00:33:54,759 --> 00:33:57,279 Rode Peter, and now you'll ride Catherine. 537 00:33:57,359 --> 00:33:59,720 I wanted to ask you if you'd heard the rumor, but fuck off yourselves. 538 00:33:59,799 --> 00:34:01,440 - What rumor? George. - No. 539 00:34:01,519 --> 00:34:02,880 Tell me. Ignore her. 540 00:34:03,519 --> 00:34:05,640 Something weird's going on, isn't it? 541 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,559 There's a rumor Peter died on the way to Sweden. 542 00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:15,639 - What? - Died. 543 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:20,119 Drowned or something. And she knows, and she won't tell us. 544 00:34:20,199 --> 00:34:21,960 She is acting weird. 545 00:34:22,039 --> 00:34:24,679 Yeah. I don't know. I just wondered if you'd heard it? 546 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,119 - No. - Right. 547 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,239 Well, don't tell anyone, because it could be bullshit. 548 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,440 And she's not acting weird. 549 00:34:30,519 --> 00:34:33,000 The more you know her, you realize she's mad. 550 00:34:33,079 --> 00:34:35,199 I'm actually a bit scared of what she's capable of. 551 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:36,559 Why wouldn't she tell us? 552 00:34:36,639 --> 00:34:40,320 Because maybe he didn't drown, Arkady. Maybe she killed him. 553 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,079 He can't be fucking dead. 554 00:34:43,159 --> 00:34:45,840 Anyway, keep it between us. I hate gossip! 555 00:34:56,599 --> 00:34:58,760 What's wrong with you two? I'm finding it quite fun. 556 00:34:59,159 --> 00:35:01,119 Have you heard what they're saying? 557 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,519 - Everything's spinning. - I know. 558 00:35:55,639 --> 00:35:58,159 Fuck that Katya. You need to kill her. 559 00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,519 - What? - There are lines people can't cross. 560 00:36:00,599 --> 00:36:04,039 I won't allow it. Cut her fucking head off before dessert. 561 00:36:04,119 --> 00:36:05,119 I... 562 00:36:06,679 --> 00:36:09,639 Remember the heads, when I first came? 563 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,400 Catherine, she just attacked your rule in a way you must react to. 564 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:17,119 You can't allow people to degrade you. That's what Pugachev is doing. 565 00:36:17,199 --> 00:36:20,239 Not in your own court. You must smash back. 566 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,400 I said they could tell the truth. 567 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,119 The progressives would hate me, feel I betrayed them. 568 00:36:28,039 --> 00:36:29,719 Yes, I suppose they would. 569 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:31,519 I hadn't seen that. 570 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,840 You're so clever. 571 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,000 Why you're the empress, I guess. 572 00:36:40,199 --> 00:36:41,760 Why are you here? 573 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,199 I'm here because I'm your friend. 574 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,119 - You weren't. - I am now. 575 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:49,880 You see that, don't you? 576 00:36:54,039 --> 00:36:55,119 Yes. 577 00:37:00,119 --> 00:37:06,360 Other small problem is that the rumor of Peter's death is sweeping court. 578 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,079 What? 579 00:37:10,159 --> 00:37:13,280 That he and his horse fell through the ice on a lake, 580 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,360 and he fucking drowned, 581 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,679 and you watched it and have not told anyone. 582 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:22,639 So... 583 00:37:24,079 --> 00:37:26,639 You need to stand up and tell them that's a lie. 584 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:29,840 Because it is, isn't it? 585 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:50,559 No, it's not true. It's not true, it's not true. 586 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,480 Hello. Bad time? 587 00:37:54,559 --> 00:37:56,960 Let's just sign off on this. 588 00:37:57,039 --> 00:38:01,320 I beseech you, which is a very big word for "end this." 589 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:02,719 Agree to the one church, 590 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:06,000 and he will abandon his flock, leave the country. 591 00:38:06,079 --> 00:38:09,159 They have no one to follow, wander back to us. 592 00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:11,760 Okay. Okay. Thank you, Archie. 593 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,920 Lesson learned: Control is everything in Russia, 594 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,960 and only the church and the empress have it. 595 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,360 Do you believe in visions? 596 00:38:21,199 --> 00:38:22,719 It's part of the job. 597 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,360 Something is rushing up at me, 598 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,639 and it will kill me if it gets here. 599 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,199 Evening. 600 00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,760 I wouldn't just burst in normally like this, 601 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,960 as I believe manners are the fabric that furnishes our society. 602 00:38:41,679 --> 00:38:45,119 However, when the biggest enemy of the state, one Pugachev, 603 00:38:45,199 --> 00:38:48,199 has been gunned down by the most stylish man in the kingdom, 604 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,639 one Maxim Illyich Vaskovy, 605 00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:52,880 I believe a little leeway can be given. 606 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,039 - You-- - Shot Pugachev. 607 00:38:56,119 --> 00:38:58,159 He begged for his life, 608 00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:01,400 but I just smiled wryly and put one through his eye. 609 00:39:02,199 --> 00:39:03,639 So this fake Peter is dead. 610 00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:05,719 Fucking hell. 611 00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:10,000 - Fake Peter is dead. - Very fucking dead. 612 00:39:10,079 --> 00:39:12,280 I lay this gift of loyalty at your feet. 613 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,480 I think you will also enjoy the view of my shoes 614 00:39:14,559 --> 00:39:16,320 when you bend down to pick it up. 615 00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:19,920 Pugachev is dead. 616 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,159 That Peter is dead. 617 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,360 Yes. Yes, now I understand. 618 00:39:27,599 --> 00:39:28,559 Maxim. 619 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,320 God has blessed me, Archie. I think we all see that now. 620 00:39:49,559 --> 00:39:50,480 No. 621 00:39:56,039 --> 00:39:59,480 - Shit. You all right? - I tried to open the door with my head. 622 00:39:59,559 --> 00:40:02,000 Right. What the fuck is going on? Why are you locked in? 623 00:40:02,079 --> 00:40:05,519 - Where have you been? - I don't know. Marriage stuff. 624 00:40:05,599 --> 00:40:06,880 Right. 625 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:08,239 What's happened? 626 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:13,199 Peter was on a horse on the ice, and he just fucking fell through. 627 00:40:15,039 --> 00:40:16,239 What? 628 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,000 Because Hugo's a cunt, and Peter the Great won't leave him alone, 629 00:40:19,079 --> 00:40:23,079 and I was disloyal but not really, but he's dead, so I was something. 630 00:40:23,159 --> 00:40:24,960 It's not good, because it didn't work, what I did. 631 00:40:25,039 --> 00:40:26,360 What the fuck are you talking about? 632 00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:30,519 He was staring at me, and I reached out, and his horse dragged him down, 633 00:40:30,599 --> 00:40:36,039 and he looked sort of bewildered and kind of fucked off, as well. 634 00:40:36,119 --> 00:40:37,599 Peter's... What are you saying? 635 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:39,280 That he's dead. 636 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:42,320 My friend is dead. 637 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:46,800 - Fuck. - Yeah. 638 00:40:47,559 --> 00:40:48,719 Fuck. 639 00:40:50,599 --> 00:40:53,199 - And Catherine saw it? - Yes, but she's mad. 640 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,519 And she won't let me tell anyone and says it didn't happen. 641 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:57,559 - It did though? - It did. 642 00:40:58,679 --> 00:41:00,280 I prefer it when I'm unconscious. 643 00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:02,599 Yeah, just rest, my darling. 644 00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:05,880 Just rest. 645 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,400 Katya, stand on the plinth. 646 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:42,519 What a lolly of a play. 647 00:41:43,119 --> 00:41:46,159 How scathing of me and my failings. 648 00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:50,199 And how humorous to watch oneself be fucked in the arse by a horse. 649 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,280 And how you all loved it. 650 00:41:55,159 --> 00:41:56,679 So I had an idea. 651 00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:59,079 - The regions should see it. - They should? 652 00:41:59,519 --> 00:42:03,559 I've arranged for you to go to Siberia for an extended writers' residency. 653 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,840 - Siberia? - Take a coat and hat. Huzzah! 654 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,760 Huzzah! 655 00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,679 Also, there is a ridiculous rumor sweeping the halls. 656 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,639 - That Peter is dead. - And you are lying to us about it. 657 00:42:15,119 --> 00:42:16,480 He is not dead. 658 00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:18,880 Pugachev is dead. 659 00:42:19,519 --> 00:42:23,039 And since he was pretending to be Peter, and Maxim killed him, 660 00:42:23,599 --> 00:42:26,760 then obviously, people have become confused. 661 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:30,760 And so it's Pugachev who is dead, not Peter. 662 00:42:31,519 --> 00:42:33,079 Pugachev, not Peter. 663 00:42:33,159 --> 00:42:34,800 So, desserts? 664 00:42:35,559 --> 00:42:37,800 - Peter's not dead? - No. 665 00:42:38,159 --> 00:42:39,079 Desserts! 666 00:42:40,599 --> 00:42:43,840 Empress, I have a special delight tonight. 667 00:42:44,599 --> 00:42:47,480 Emperor Peter and I have been working on salty dessert. 668 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,159 I would like to unveil the first. 669 00:42:50,679 --> 00:42:55,079 A salted caramel mousse with a nut praline, also thyme salted. 670 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:57,039 He was very excited. 671 00:42:57,679 --> 00:42:59,599 It is a shame he is not here to see this. 672 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:06,400 Salty... 673 00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,559 Did I tell you I'm going to try my salt on desserts? 674 00:43:09,639 --> 00:43:11,119 I have ordered Jean-Pierre to experiment. 675 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:14,199 Madness, but brilliant. 676 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,000 I'll send word when we're done. 677 00:43:19,599 --> 00:43:22,280 I love you. My whole fucking heart and all my body 678 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,760 and whatever ineffable spirit animates me. 679 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:26,679 Everything. 680 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:30,840 You must do the honor. 681 00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:33,719 I... 682 00:43:39,639 --> 00:43:40,880 Formidable, no? 683 00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:57,239 He's dead! 684 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:00,239 He's fucking dead! 685 00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:18,920 Revised and Synchronized by FAST TITLES MEDIA