1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:09,279 Just remember, the wine bladder is Paul. 2 00:00:09,679 --> 00:00:11,480 Head shot is the go. 3 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,600 - It fuckin' moved. - Yes, they do that. 4 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,320 Need some more practice. 5 00:00:26,399 --> 00:00:28,879 Don't worry, Paul. This is why we practice. 6 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,280 So, they're having to source a lot of monkeys. 7 00:00:42,359 --> 00:00:43,759 History will judge me harshly 8 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,320 for the monkey in every village idea, rightfully. 9 00:00:46,399 --> 00:00:48,439 You did what you had to do. Huzzah! 10 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,679 Peter must be happy. He came up with the idea when he was 12. 11 00:00:52,759 --> 00:00:53,759 Of course he did. 12 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,159 - They killed Simitz. - Of course they did. 13 00:00:57,719 --> 00:01:00,520 - They had to. - Why is the day already unbearable? 14 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,799 It is not. It is ripe with possibility and joy. 15 00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:08,439 Leave that behind and focus on Paul's ordination and the stag ritual. 16 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,480 What is this stag thing? 17 00:01:10,799 --> 00:01:14,560 Peter the Great invented it as a celebration of Peter's ordination. 18 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,519 It's a fun way to celebrate. 19 00:01:16,599 --> 00:01:19,400 Peter loved the idea of continuing the tradition. 20 00:01:20,439 --> 00:01:23,680 Actually, I have a surprise in this regard. Wait. 21 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,319 Fuck. 22 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,680 Paul's ordination. If we could go over the words, 23 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,799 some of which are the traditional blessing, 24 00:01:45,879 --> 00:01:49,000 and then I follow on with some inspired free-form. 25 00:01:50,079 --> 00:01:52,239 Bad news? Can I help? 26 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,200 No. 27 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,640 - What were you saying? - Paul's ordination. 28 00:01:57,719 --> 00:02:01,120 Paul's ordination! What a day it will be. 29 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,400 Taste this. 30 00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:07,439 Delicious. What is it? 31 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,000 When Paul was born, 32 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:13,000 your placenta was taken and placed in a barrel of the finest vodka, 33 00:02:13,319 --> 00:02:16,919 to be toasted on Paul's special day at the end of the stag ritual. 34 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,319 - I just drank my placenta? - You did. 35 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,960 - Sweet and strong, like you. - It's a little yeasty, though. 36 00:02:24,039 --> 00:02:25,120 If we could look at the wording. 37 00:02:25,199 --> 00:02:29,159 We're hoping for a shaft of sunlight to hit his forehead as I say, 38 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,000 "You are anointed by God to lead." 39 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,120 I do it in a baritone for effect. 40 00:02:34,439 --> 00:02:36,120 I will cry, I know it. 41 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,280 Right. I need to go to the Nakaz salon. 42 00:02:59,199 --> 00:03:02,319 I thought that the Nakaz would taste of the future, 43 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,439 but it is fucking merde in my mouth. 44 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:06,719 How dare you, Voltaire! 45 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,199 Our empress is the bravest and brightest, and she will prevail! 46 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,199 I... I didn't see you come in. 47 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,560 Awkwardly singing your praises. 48 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:18,240 We started with murder, we've ended up with monkey. 49 00:03:18,319 --> 00:03:20,560 - The people love the monkeys. - Huzzah. 50 00:03:24,199 --> 00:03:26,919 Let us focus on what's next for the Nakaz . 51 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,439 Education for all! 52 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,960 The peasants were reluctant to vote, as the church said they should not. 53 00:03:32,039 --> 00:03:33,199 And having talked to them, 54 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,280 they would also be prefer to be whipped than made to read books. 55 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,639 The church clings to them like a succubus. 56 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,159 I'm right here, Frenchy. 57 00:03:40,479 --> 00:03:42,520 Perhaps we could have a reasonable discussion 58 00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:44,960 about the role of the church in our lives, Archie? 59 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:46,199 Open hearts. 60 00:03:46,639 --> 00:03:47,560 Wife! 61 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,599 - Amazing news! - In the middle of something. 62 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,599 Something not as important as Paul's first word. 63 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:55,479 What? 64 00:03:57,639 --> 00:03:59,400 He was sitting on the floor playing, 65 00:03:59,479 --> 00:04:03,199 when suddenly, he looked up at me with this delighted look, and said... 66 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,240 What was it? 67 00:04:05,719 --> 00:04:06,639 "Pussy." 68 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,840 - What? - Pussy. 69 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,120 I suspect his next word will be "eat." 70 00:04:15,199 --> 00:04:17,800 Say "eat," Paul. Who would like to hear Paul's next word? 71 00:04:17,879 --> 00:04:20,920 - No! Stop! - What? Yeah, say it for Mommy, Paul. 72 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,160 Paul, no! 73 00:04:29,079 --> 00:04:30,839 - Leave him. - Take him! 74 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,519 I'm very confused right now. 75 00:04:32,879 --> 00:04:33,879 How is this a bad thing? 76 00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:36,839 I do not want his first word to be "pussy." 77 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,759 Why not? He has focused on what will be a joy in his life. 78 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,680 I want him to be a thoughtful and kind child, 79 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,519 led by brain and love, not by pussy. 80 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,399 Well, I, for one, accept him as he is. 81 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,920 Of course you do. He's like you! 82 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,240 Huzzah. 83 00:04:53,319 --> 00:04:55,800 And you fucking love me, I will remind you. 84 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,160 Not today! 85 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:06,319 You are out of control and also very fucking annoying. 86 00:05:06,399 --> 00:05:09,199 He is a child uttering a word. He doesn't know what it means. 87 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,639 But I do know what it means. 88 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:16,360 It means his next word will be "murder," and then "cunt," and then "knife fight," 89 00:05:16,439 --> 00:05:19,800 and then "bacon-wrapped fig," and then, "cut some fucking throats!" 90 00:05:19,879 --> 00:05:22,120 It means he's like you. 91 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:27,160 And you want him to be ordained by God to lead this country? 92 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:32,519 - No. Not fucking happening! - Don't you fucking dare. 93 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,759 - The ordination is canceled. - What? 94 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:39,040 And so is the fucking stag ludicrousness. 95 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,120 Fuck. 96 00:05:40,199 --> 00:05:43,879 There are lines that cannot be crossed. My son's destiny is one of them. 97 00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:46,560 Do not even threaten it. 98 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,240 I do not threaten it. I promise it. 99 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,480 For I will not risk he grows up to be you, 100 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,040 and I gave him the chance and the right 101 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,639 to manhandle this country's people. 102 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:03,079 Shut the fuck up, or I am cutting throats! 103 00:06:03,639 --> 00:06:07,319 Point made. Got a problem? Grab a knife, cut a throat! 104 00:06:10,319 --> 00:06:11,279 Come and get it. 105 00:06:12,399 --> 00:06:17,240 Cut my dumb, dumb heart out for loving you. 106 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,360 I came here with happy news, 107 00:06:20,439 --> 00:06:23,800 and you have been a terrible wife and a fucking bad mother. 108 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:46,319 - She can't mean it. - Of course not, of course not. 109 00:06:46,399 --> 00:06:48,759 That was very... Gosh. 110 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:51,480 Paul has to be legitimized in the eyes of God. 111 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,519 Even she must recognize the danger of leaving that door open. 112 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:58,560 They just had a fight that was a bit rattling to soul and mind, that's all. 113 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,800 If you're not worried, then why are you shaking? 114 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:04,240 Oh, God. I am a bit. How odd. 115 00:07:13,759 --> 00:07:14,720 Good Lord. 116 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,040 Brings my center together. 117 00:07:22,959 --> 00:07:24,279 All right. I'm fine. 118 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,199 - We have to nip this in the bud. - Indeed. 119 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:38,879 Grigor, you're not gonna... 120 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,079 Well, isn't this adorable? 121 00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,360 - It was. - What's up? 122 00:07:45,439 --> 00:07:47,560 A little war broke out between Catherine and Peter, 123 00:07:47,639 --> 00:07:50,360 and fuck me, I thought there was going to be bloodshed for a second. 124 00:07:50,439 --> 00:07:52,720 - What? - Shit. Is he all right? 125 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,759 He looked as angry as when they took his pet tiger off him when he was nine. 126 00:07:55,839 --> 00:07:57,040 Oh, God. Towel! 127 00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:04,040 Bye-bye. 128 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,360 Thinking about your former friend? 129 00:08:14,959 --> 00:08:16,279 I can't believe he likes fucking that. 130 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:20,519 He loves fucking that. 131 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,240 And he loves me. 132 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,680 Love is blind, and I guess, in your case, it needs to be. 133 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,959 You broke his heart a thousand times. 134 00:08:32,759 --> 00:08:34,759 I guess he gets to do it to you once. 135 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,559 I do not want to see anyone. 136 00:08:49,399 --> 00:08:53,120 My role is pastoral care as well as political avarice. 137 00:08:53,919 --> 00:08:56,879 - Are you all right? - Not really, no. 138 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:03,320 I once told fat Mother that I would never visit her again 139 00:09:03,399 --> 00:09:05,600 if I saw her eating another cream cake. 140 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:09,200 And as I did, I angrily pushed one into her enormous mouth. 141 00:09:09,279 --> 00:09:13,279 - What the fuck are you talking about? - Things get said. They're just words. 142 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:17,480 They blow away on the wind, but the love is left in the body. 143 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:22,759 Two days later, we sat at afternoon tea, and I let her eat herself to vomiting. 144 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:28,360 - Archie, go away. - The ordination is about Paul, not Peter. 145 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,799 So it is not pastoral care after all that brings you here. 146 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:36,480 I am a gifted priest, so I can do two things at once. 147 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,759 Moving on to political avarice. 148 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:42,480 Without the ordination, the Russian throne stops being hereditary. 149 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,919 A tradition that, if we're to be fucking honest, has kept you in power. 150 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,039 - I'm not hereditary. - You are seen as such. 151 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,480 Had you not had the marriage that made you family, 152 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:53,200 you would not still be on the throne. 153 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:54,679 Bear shit. 154 00:09:54,759 --> 00:09:59,159 The family ordained by God or any cunt can decide to take it. 155 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,879 You risk the legitimacy of your rule. 156 00:10:03,759 --> 00:10:08,399 Am I risking the legitimacy of my throne or the power of your God? 157 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:09,919 Both. 158 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,039 High stakes, isn't it? 159 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,960 Fuck me, that was something. 160 00:10:26,519 --> 00:10:29,080 I was at the front in our war, and it was less fucking intense. 161 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:33,399 - Sauternes and duck liver parfait? - No, I'm too fucking angry to... 162 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,519 - It looks good. - Soothes the soul. 163 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,200 What the fuck is she doing? 164 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,799 Trying to take the throne off your own son. 165 00:10:41,879 --> 00:10:44,799 I mean, fuckingoj, as we say in Sweden. 166 00:10:44,879 --> 00:10:46,960 - Are you okay? - I don't want to speak ill of her. 167 00:10:47,039 --> 00:10:49,480 - She's a monster who hates your son. - I bought a carrot cake. 168 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,879 For an emperor? Fucking carrot cake? Do you hate him? 169 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,879 - That will not fucking do. - I was rushing! 170 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,879 I just heard. It's the talk of the halls. Passion. 171 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,000 I mean, I still remember that when we were first married. 172 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,600 - It's beautiful. - It's not passion. 173 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:05,279 - It's an attack, is what it is. - She cannot do this to you. 174 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,519 I need to do something. Let us run at bags. 175 00:11:17,519 --> 00:11:20,360 I will not fucking talk to her until she apologizes. 176 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,679 Will you fuck her? 177 00:11:21,759 --> 00:11:24,240 - Because fucking often leads to talking. - Do not fuck her. 178 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:25,720 For once, we are in agreement. 179 00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:27,879 Of course I will fuck her. I'm not a monster. 180 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,960 - But there will be no talking. - Out, gentlemen. 181 00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:34,879 - They're giving me solace. - And some amazing sauternes. 182 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,720 Are you all still here? It seems an eternity since I said, "Out!" 183 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,320 - Are you all right? - Not really. 184 00:11:43,399 --> 00:11:44,879 It was a bruising encounter. 185 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,799 I don't understand this rage. 186 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,200 Thank you, Aunt. 187 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:53,720 Never pick up a knife like that again in front of the court. 188 00:11:53,799 --> 00:11:56,200 - But I wanted to chin her. I was-- - Angry? 189 00:11:57,159 --> 00:11:58,399 Hurt. 190 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,720 She does not want my son to be like me, and yet she loves me. 191 00:12:00,799 --> 00:12:03,240 That is a fucking head-splitting conundrum. 192 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:05,120 Well, let me simplify. 193 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,080 This has nothing to do with love. 194 00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:10,759 Your feelings don't matter. Your love does not matter. 195 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:14,080 Only your family and your job matters, and you will do what you need to do. 196 00:12:14,159 --> 00:12:15,240 You're being very aggressive. 197 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:19,360 You have one job as a son to your father, and that is to preserve the line. 198 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,840 Right. Well, she couldn't have meant that. 199 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,679 I remember playing badminton in this room, 200 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:30,919 naked, using passion fruit as shuttlecocks. 201 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:36,440 Your father sent a forehand smashing into me, and I loved that. 202 00:12:36,519 --> 00:12:39,279 The sting of it as the fruit broke all over my nakedness. 203 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,799 And he roared with laughter, as only he could. 204 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,600 Dropped to the floor. And I ran to him... 205 00:12:47,759 --> 00:12:51,320 and he looked at me with those eyes that held you and broke you at the same time, 206 00:12:51,399 --> 00:12:54,519 and he said, "Keep my line, my love." 207 00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,279 Then he died. 208 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,240 Right. 209 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:10,440 I'm not going to say anything more, as what else do we need? 210 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,360 Understood. Understood. 211 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,320 I hoped you'd be here, having heated, sensual lovemaking. 212 00:13:27,639 --> 00:13:30,840 Slick with sweat and bruising. 213 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:32,600 Let me smell you. 214 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,399 Fuck off. Did you see the fight? 215 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:39,519 Yes, and I feel like it offers an ajar door for you and her. 216 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,879 And I suspect from your sudden giving a toss, for you? 217 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,960 Why shouldn't we all win? It's what God wants. 218 00:13:45,919 --> 00:13:46,840 Funny. 219 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,320 This baby needs to be ordained by the church. 220 00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:52,159 A soft ear for her, 221 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,519 and a whisper of, "Let's not take that off Paul just to spite Peter." 222 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,799 And also, let's not take away the church's right to deify leaders 223 00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:00,159 and undermine its power. 224 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,639 I knew you'd understand. 225 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,639 You're actually simmering. I can see. 226 00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:08,639 Broiling with a mèlange of emotion. 227 00:14:10,639 --> 00:14:12,720 Go on, get in there. Get a nostrilful. 228 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:16,519 Vanilla. 229 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:17,960 How strange. 230 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,519 I was hoping for musky. 231 00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:39,480 Are you fucking kidding me? 232 00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:43,399 You have a fight with your idiot husband, you come running to me? 233 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,960 - I was actually just walking past. - Liar. 234 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:50,600 Oh, fuck's sake. 235 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:58,120 I am the ruler of this great country because it was my destiny. 236 00:14:58,679 --> 00:15:02,639 And also because I suggested it. Possibly mainly because I suggested it. 237 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:07,000 I took it because I have the ideas and heart to do it, 238 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,159 not because a man in a big hat representing a god 239 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:13,960 who may or may not exist in league with one noble family, 240 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:16,399 decides that the fate of millions is on a baby 241 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,600 who could become a fucking monster! 242 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,159 Albeit, we are talking about my son, who I love, obviously. 243 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,360 Yes. Yes, agreed. We are at a leader's whim, 244 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,240 and if the whim is that of a blind giant dancing, we're all doomed. 245 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:32,039 - Thankfully, we're all at my whim. - Clearly my next point. 246 00:15:34,879 --> 00:15:37,200 It is a relief to have you beside me again. 247 00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:41,519 Against your husband, we will always be in agreement. 248 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,559 I understand you hate him. 249 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,559 You just do not have to throw it in my face. 250 00:15:47,639 --> 00:15:49,559 Or you your love for him in my face. 251 00:15:52,039 --> 00:15:53,559 That could be a rule. 252 00:15:53,639 --> 00:15:54,919 Because I hate it, 253 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,159 this love. 254 00:15:59,679 --> 00:16:00,799 Today, I do too. 255 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:08,039 - But it is there, even in the rage-- - You're about to talk about it again. 256 00:16:12,919 --> 00:16:13,960 Let us fence it off, 257 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,080 and then my love for you can live next door. 258 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,440 I've missed you. 259 00:16:22,639 --> 00:16:23,639 Hated you... 260 00:16:25,759 --> 00:16:26,679 and missed you. 261 00:16:35,519 --> 00:16:38,399 Empress! Hello, welcome. 262 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,759 Darling, you never said she was coming. 263 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:41,799 Maxim. 264 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,720 Why are you using those glasses? I'll get the crystal. And snacks? 265 00:16:46,759 --> 00:16:47,879 Such a catch. 266 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,240 There you are. 267 00:16:53,039 --> 00:16:54,039 I was worried. 268 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,360 I went to your apartment. Are you all right? 269 00:16:56,799 --> 00:16:57,720 I am. 270 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,480 - I went to Marial's. - Lovely. 271 00:17:00,559 --> 00:17:03,279 When love is at the root, it always grows back. 272 00:17:03,679 --> 00:17:05,880 I suppose. I am very angry. 273 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:12,200 - Things are said in anger we don't mean. - I meant every word, anger aside. 274 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:17,480 Here is a book on the science of marriage by the Choglokovs. 275 00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:19,680 It's very modern. You'll love it. 276 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,480 Your love is fierce, too fierce at times. This will help. 277 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,000 A royal marriage is a job. 278 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:33,920 Do the work, or broken hearts, shattered lives and blood all over the floor. 279 00:17:49,759 --> 00:17:51,480 I'm writing notes to myself. 280 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:56,160 "My wife does not like interruptions during intellectual salons." 281 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,359 Funny. 282 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:01,279 "What the fuck?" is my prevailing reaction to what the fuck happened in there. 283 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:02,359 It did escalate. 284 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:06,720 It was like I was falling off a cliff and the momentum kept building. 285 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:10,279 I believe it happens, sudden outbreaks in marriage. 286 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:12,759 Here, Father would often throw urns at Mother, 287 00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:15,599 and Mother would often fill his mouth with crushed glass while he slept. 288 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:19,359 My mother would suddenly break loose, similarly to me then. 289 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,480 A boiling-hot wave that swept the room and took my father's legs out, 290 00:18:23,559 --> 00:18:25,839 and then she held him under the metaphorical water 291 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,839 as he gasped out lame excuses. 292 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:29,720 So it is normal. 293 00:18:29,799 --> 00:18:33,839 A kind of momentary marital madness where things not meant are thrown. 294 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,000 Some of it I meant. 295 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,960 From my sister, Angela. 296 00:18:42,759 --> 00:18:43,839 "Where is Mother? 297 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,839 "She does not answer my letters. Please respond, I am concerned." 298 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:53,359 Right. That's annoying. I thought that one was buried. 299 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,279 Perhaps today was an accumulation of our past. 300 00:18:56,839 --> 00:19:00,240 It seems every week, something else adds to the weight of it. 301 00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:02,440 Let us forget it. 302 00:19:02,519 --> 00:19:06,000 We have said things we didn't mean, or did, but so what? Just words. 303 00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:08,480 I suggest we remove our clothes and stop talking. 304 00:19:09,839 --> 00:19:12,920 I meant what I said about the ordination. Know that. 305 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,160 What are you doing? 306 00:19:17,079 --> 00:19:18,240 I have no choice. 307 00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:20,160 You will break us. 308 00:19:23,799 --> 00:19:25,440 Elizabeth gave me a book. 309 00:19:27,039 --> 00:19:28,240 We could try it. 310 00:19:29,599 --> 00:19:31,920 The science of marriage, apparently. 311 00:19:39,839 --> 00:19:40,799 How is it? 312 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,160 How do you think it is, Agnes? 313 00:19:43,519 --> 00:19:45,880 It's like a rat threw up blood in a glass. 314 00:19:47,559 --> 00:19:48,920 I miss aquavit. 315 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,519 Don't wait up for me. 316 00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:02,759 I'm going to your apartment. Meet me there tonight. 317 00:20:02,839 --> 00:20:03,799 I... 318 00:20:04,759 --> 00:20:05,680 Yes. 319 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,920 But we need fire and action, not just words. 320 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,319 Blinis. 321 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,720 - Here. - What's that? 322 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,400 I thought you'd need to wash the taste of all the lies out of your mouth. 323 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,960 You should join us. That wit is wasted on just being a bitter bitch. 324 00:20:23,039 --> 00:20:24,119 Disagree. 325 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,480 I just think our job for the empress is to challenge her on every level, 326 00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:31,119 for the country. 327 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,839 - Isn't that the-- - I'm torn. 328 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,200 How so? 329 00:20:34,279 --> 00:20:37,960 I want to keep listening, but I want to listen whilst you suck my cock, 330 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,839 yet that would make it hard for you talk. It's a conundrum. 331 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,039 Blini? 332 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,960 You have trampled a very romantic moment, Georgina. 333 00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:49,519 She really hasn't. 334 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,440 I imagine sometimes if you were castrated and could focus only on ideas, 335 00:20:54,519 --> 00:20:55,960 how great you would be, Voltaire. 336 00:20:56,440 --> 00:21:00,279 And sad, no? Voltaire without a cock. No. No, no, no. 337 00:21:00,839 --> 00:21:03,920 Well, let's leave Voltaire to suck his own cock and ponder that, 338 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,680 and we shall go and speak words unencumbered. 339 00:21:05,759 --> 00:21:06,759 Love to. 340 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,559 - This exercise is called tug-of-war. - Tug-of-war. 341 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,519 The papers attached to the rope have your issues written upon them. 342 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,559 You each argue a point, the other attempts to see your side, 343 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,240 and takes a step towards you when they do. 344 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,599 You hopefully both see enough that you slowly reach the line together. 345 00:21:26,559 --> 00:21:27,519 Go! 346 00:21:31,599 --> 00:21:32,759 "Catherine's reign." 347 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,400 You do not share my desire to transform this country. 348 00:21:37,759 --> 00:21:38,799 Because it's mad. 349 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:42,599 Brilliant, but fucking mad. And you don't listen to my advice. 350 00:21:43,079 --> 00:21:45,680 I would like you to read all the works of Diderot, 351 00:21:45,759 --> 00:21:49,880 as you cannot truly know me and know what it is I seek here without it. 352 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,039 How many are there? 353 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,240 Forty-seven, not including annotated pamphlets. 354 00:21:53,319 --> 00:21:55,880 Forty-seven? Are you fucking mad? Is she mad? 355 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,799 You can't read a book? You do nothing but eat and hunt all day. 356 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,039 Set yourself free in the forest, and I will hunt and eat you all day. 357 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:03,400 - Off topic! - Was it? 358 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:04,640 Arkady. 359 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,880 - Marriage science is strangely fun. - You're losing. 360 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,079 No, you're losing. 361 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,319 I don't think that's the point. 362 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,920 Well, that's just fucking bragging. 363 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,279 The couple must stay balanced. 364 00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:22,640 Keep connected at all times as we throw balls at you. 365 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,720 - I have you always. - I know you do. 366 00:22:28,039 --> 00:22:30,160 - Sorry. - We can take anything. 367 00:22:30,759 --> 00:22:32,519 Look at me and tell me we can't. 368 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,400 I do believe it now, if we are just in the now, 369 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,200 but the past and the world outsi-- 370 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,440 - Fuck! - Sorry. 371 00:22:41,519 --> 00:22:44,160 - Says increase force as it goes. - Where? 372 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,240 Somewhere. 373 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,119 No, it was just an argument. Out of hand. We can pretend it never happened. 374 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,079 Is that the secret to a happy marriage? Amnesia? 375 00:22:52,839 --> 00:22:56,480 Fuck! The next ball that gets thrown comes out of Arkady's ball bag. 376 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:03,079 In arguments, it is best to use "you always" statements. 377 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:07,000 Example: "You always do this, and I hate it about you." 378 00:23:07,079 --> 00:23:09,079 You always go to work, and I hate it about you. 379 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,839 - Excellent. - Thanks. 380 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,079 I'm saving Russia. 381 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:18,160 No. You have to say, "I accept what you say. I am awful. Have me anyway." 382 00:23:18,559 --> 00:23:19,559 I'm not saying that. 383 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,480 I am to hit you in the back of the head using a protruding knuckle if you don't. 384 00:23:22,559 --> 00:23:23,960 Then I have to fuck Peter while you watch. 385 00:23:24,279 --> 00:23:27,200 - It doesn't say that. - It says some improvisation allowed. 386 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,880 Fine. I accept I am awful, 387 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:36,279 and I do put work and the saving of Russia from all you did to it before you. 388 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,559 - Accept me anyway. - I do. 389 00:23:39,079 --> 00:23:43,920 You always kill whenever you want, hunt, eat and fuck when you want, 390 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,599 and do whatever you want, and I hate that about you. 391 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:51,279 I accept I'm amazing at arranging my life in an exceptional and fun way. 392 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,680 - Accept me anyway. - Funny. 393 00:23:54,319 --> 00:23:58,599 We are now, terrifyingly enough, apparently to make an observation. 394 00:23:58,680 --> 00:23:59,640 You two? 395 00:24:00,599 --> 00:24:03,119 You are a fucking big-cocked hedonist, 396 00:24:03,559 --> 00:24:06,680 and you are a stuck-up bitch married to her work. It's doomed. 397 00:24:06,759 --> 00:24:09,119 Wrong. No. Arkady, what do you think? 398 00:24:10,599 --> 00:24:14,000 I think you're both exceptional people, and that makes it hard. 399 00:24:14,559 --> 00:24:17,400 You live life at its edges, and the edge of anything is sharp, 400 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,759 so you wound each other mainly because you are you. 401 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,839 So, you need to find a way to accept that there will be wounds, 402 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,319 or that, at points, 403 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,359 you will need to step back from yourselves for the sake of the other. 404 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:31,680 Fuckin' hell, Arkady. 405 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,640 - Indeed. - I do notice things, you know. 406 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,759 He does. He has excellent fucking eyes. 407 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:45,359 Peter! I have brought you a pheasant. Pheasant as a present. 408 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,160 And 11 bottles of rosé and 46 oysters, 409 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,799 and I had the chef make madeleines stuffed with cantaloupe. 410 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,519 And I was going to suggest badminton, but you are... something. 411 00:24:56,039 --> 00:24:58,839 - Finished with this. I have work. - No, stay and play. 412 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,559 You are always improving Russia. 413 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,319 - Let us have fun. - Fun? 414 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,000 It's actually chapter six. 415 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:09,160 Let's try it. 416 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:14,519 - We need four, then. Shall I get George? - Or six of us is good. 417 00:25:14,599 --> 00:25:16,279 - Hugo. - I think he died. 418 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,720 I heard that too. Well, we can stay. Me and Tatyana? 419 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,240 No, Grigor. Get Marial. 420 00:25:25,599 --> 00:25:26,960 Thank you, you two. You can go. 421 00:25:27,599 --> 00:25:29,440 - A four. - Unbelievable. 422 00:25:31,839 --> 00:25:32,759 Marial? 423 00:25:33,319 --> 00:25:34,400 Marial. 424 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,559 "Get Marial," she said. 425 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,319 - Fucking couldn't believe it. - Once you love me... 426 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:40,559 I, of course, agree. 427 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,559 You're so happy. 428 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,240 The four of us, together. Friends. Fucking amazing. 429 00:25:47,039 --> 00:25:49,160 And Hugo can fuck off. 430 00:25:49,599 --> 00:25:52,359 - Glad it's about me. - I'm happy for you. 431 00:25:53,039 --> 00:25:55,519 - Don't fuck this up. - I won't fuck it up. 432 00:25:55,599 --> 00:25:58,200 You hate him. Just hide it, all of it. 433 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,440 I am a very good actress. 434 00:26:02,039 --> 00:26:04,240 Yesterday, that orgasm. 435 00:26:04,799 --> 00:26:06,119 It was real. 436 00:26:06,759 --> 00:26:07,920 Was it? 437 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,720 That was good. I almost believed you. 438 00:26:14,279 --> 00:26:16,240 You'll end up loving him. We all do. 439 00:26:17,559 --> 00:26:20,240 You all do. That's almost a good point. 440 00:26:23,319 --> 00:26:24,720 - Hello. - Hello. 441 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,279 - One rule. You can't speak ill of him. - But I can think it. 442 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,880 If you must, but we are in agreement on the speaking part. 443 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:32,920 Understood. 444 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,319 I have half-filled your glass. We cannot have slosh. 445 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,559 - But we can be sloshed. - By the end of the game, it is essential. 446 00:26:42,599 --> 00:26:44,880 - What are the sides? - I'll play with you. 447 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:52,839 Agnes. 448 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,319 I was hoping you weren't undressed, 449 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,440 so I could tear every stitch from your body. 450 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,559 First, this. 451 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,200 - We're going to play a war game. - What? 452 00:27:12,279 --> 00:27:13,960 I'm Sweden, you're Russia. 453 00:27:14,039 --> 00:27:16,799 This is where the battle was when the cease-fire deal was done. 454 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,119 - You think you would've won? - I know I would've. 455 00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:22,680 Well, I know what our plan was. 456 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:24,680 Let's find out. 457 00:27:26,599 --> 00:27:27,960 I may be in love. 458 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,759 It'd be offensive if you weren't. 459 00:27:31,079 --> 00:27:32,079 Let's begin. 460 00:27:34,799 --> 00:27:37,519 - Keep your eye on the cock. - I cannot keep my eyes off it. 461 00:27:38,079 --> 00:27:40,039 Are you flirting with your own husband? 462 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,319 I'm using his self-love against him. 463 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:44,839 - One-nil! - Brilliant. 464 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:52,160 Fuck! 465 00:27:54,039 --> 00:27:56,359 - I'm very competitive. - You're very shit so far. 466 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,400 Hey, back off my partner and serve the cock. 467 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,279 - You okay? - Yep, yep. 468 00:28:08,079 --> 00:28:09,039 Two-one. 469 00:28:11,839 --> 00:28:13,559 Marial, stand further up court. 470 00:28:14,599 --> 00:28:15,759 I know where to stand. 471 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,279 - Oh, fuck! - Three-one. 472 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,720 - Eyes on the cock, a yard up court. - I know how to play. 473 00:28:26,279 --> 00:28:28,000 With all the missing, it was confusing. 474 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:34,000 Then we counterattacked on your flank with a division-- 475 00:28:34,079 --> 00:28:37,039 But I'd turned you, so it's not my flank anymore. 476 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,160 You're looking into the teeth of thousands of men, 477 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,960 bristling, guns ready, cocks hard. 478 00:28:44,039 --> 00:28:47,319 - Fuck! Then we retreat-- - I'm on the ridge! 479 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,599 Above the valley you retreat into. 480 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,880 And that's it! 481 00:28:57,079 --> 00:28:59,160 You know where I march next, don't you? 482 00:29:02,559 --> 00:29:05,079 - Stockholm. - I win! 483 00:29:07,039 --> 00:29:10,960 - I knew I fucking would! - Well, maybe you would've. 484 00:29:11,799 --> 00:29:13,319 Guess you'll never know, really. 485 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:19,039 And now, I'm in Stockholm. 486 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,480 Are you the spoils of war? 487 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,000 Come here. 488 00:29:26,559 --> 00:29:27,640 Get on all fours. 489 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,839 Smell me, and wail like a buffalo. 490 00:29:48,279 --> 00:29:51,599 As much as I want to, I can never fuck you. I'm married. 491 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:52,680 No, but I-- 492 00:29:52,759 --> 00:29:56,519 But know that I am slick with want. It is a sweet torture we must endure. 493 00:29:56,599 --> 00:29:57,799 No... 494 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:00,400 I'm dying. 495 00:30:04,599 --> 00:30:07,240 This is something I desperately want before I die. 496 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:08,839 And so was Sweden. 497 00:30:11,119 --> 00:30:12,400 Yes. 498 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:16,960 It's horrible to die with many things unfucked and unwon. 499 00:30:17,599 --> 00:30:18,960 My heart breaks for you. 500 00:30:34,799 --> 00:30:37,599 So I'm to sit and rely on Peter to solve this for us? 501 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,960 Peter? I'll just say it again for impact. Peter? 502 00:30:42,039 --> 00:30:45,519 He has his gifts, and making her love him is one. 503 00:30:45,599 --> 00:30:51,279 And if... And if I may say the obvious out loud, when he fails, 504 00:30:52,559 --> 00:30:53,559 what then? 505 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:57,000 Archie, you and I united against anyone, who wins? 506 00:30:58,279 --> 00:30:59,240 True. 507 00:31:00,039 --> 00:31:02,720 Understand though, this is... 508 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,599 How shall I put this? 509 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,359 A big fucking deal. 510 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,400 I have tried to stay aligned with her, 511 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,279 and she does nothing to stay aligned with me. 512 00:31:12,359 --> 00:31:14,279 At some point, you will hear a tearing noise, 513 00:31:14,359 --> 00:31:17,480 and it will be me coming loose and letting loose. 514 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,480 You're very worked up. 515 00:31:22,079 --> 00:31:24,200 Should I teach you the bird noises? 516 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:26,759 I came to take you. 517 00:31:30,359 --> 00:31:32,119 But obviously not a good time. 518 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,400 I envy your life sometimes. 519 00:31:38,799 --> 00:31:41,000 Really? I never envy you. 520 00:31:41,759 --> 00:31:43,519 Although sometimes I love your hats. 521 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,000 You could ask Vinodel to come back. 522 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,039 I love to watch. 523 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,039 Still watching? 524 00:31:51,599 --> 00:31:56,160 When are you going to give in, Archie? That's the tearing noise I'd like to hear. 525 00:31:59,799 --> 00:32:01,960 - This fucking pheasant! - It's how I shoot them. 526 00:32:02,319 --> 00:32:03,240 With a gun? 527 00:32:06,839 --> 00:32:08,160 It is amazing. 528 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,240 We all sit at a table, gorging on pheasant and forgiveness. 529 00:32:11,319 --> 00:32:14,559 Even Marial and her myriad of betrayals are in the fire. 530 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,440 - My fucking betrayals? - To Marial. 531 00:32:16,839 --> 00:32:18,400 All love is complicated. 532 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,119 And sometimes love is unintelligible to outsiders. 533 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,119 - A monster to one-- - I tend to shoot them in the neck. 534 00:32:24,119 --> 00:32:25,319 - What? - Pheasants. 535 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,079 So the shot does not get in the breast. 536 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:30,240 And when pan-fried, the pheasant retains a silky texture. 537 00:32:30,319 --> 00:32:32,960 - Amazing. - Silky. Well done, darling. 538 00:32:33,759 --> 00:32:36,079 Are you being sweet to another human? 539 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,000 It is sporadic. 540 00:32:38,079 --> 00:32:42,920 - It is a sight to see, you in love. - And you in love is also a sight to see. 541 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,960 - Careful. - To Grigor and Marial. 542 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:50,160 - To Catherine and the future of Russia. - And to Peter and Catherine. 543 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,200 - Huzzah. - Huzzah. 544 00:32:56,039 --> 00:32:57,720 Catherine got a letter from her sister today. 545 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,720 A strange and possibly incendiary subject 546 00:33:03,799 --> 00:33:06,079 to lob into our dinner, husband. 547 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,200 Gosh, what did she say? "Where's Mom?" 548 00:33:08,279 --> 00:33:11,960 Marial, put a whole lot of pork in your mouth and chew. Slowly. 549 00:33:12,319 --> 00:33:15,359 I've been thinking on how we respond. I've written a letter. 550 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,640 - You know, all in my head, but-- - You what? 551 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:21,000 "Dear sister-in-law, you don't know me, but I'm the former head of Russia, 552 00:33:21,079 --> 00:33:24,039 "married and sick with love for the new head of Russia, your sister, Catherine. 553 00:33:24,839 --> 00:33:28,079 "In regards to your mother's whereabouts and state of health, we'll get to it." 554 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,240 - I like the start. - Are you really doing this? 555 00:33:30,319 --> 00:33:33,319 I am. You will not be alone in this. I start strong. 556 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,680 "Love, it is a prick. 557 00:33:35,759 --> 00:33:38,440 "Take it from a prick who has been lead too often by his prick. 558 00:33:38,519 --> 00:33:39,759 "Your mother's love, for instance. 559 00:33:39,839 --> 00:33:42,799 "She came and saw her daughter had blossomed into a leader 560 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,200 "of such light and power and could not abide it, 561 00:33:45,279 --> 00:33:47,839 "so wished to suffocate her for it, and our love with it. 562 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:52,720 "And, for two and a half minutes, including all foreplay, I aided her in it. 563 00:33:53,279 --> 00:33:54,440 "Your mother is dead. 564 00:33:55,079 --> 00:33:57,720 "I do not regret her death, but the circumstances of it, yes. 565 00:33:57,799 --> 00:34:00,000 "Now, if I had my time again, I would not fuck her. 566 00:34:00,079 --> 00:34:02,079 "Merely pick her up, and toss her out the fucking window." 567 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:03,160 - Right. - Indeed. 568 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,759 "For she came to destroy us, and we are a love that cannot be destroyed. 569 00:34:06,839 --> 00:34:10,559 "Rest assured, your sister did avenge your mother and stabbed me five times. 570 00:34:11,159 --> 00:34:13,119 "Each stab in my body was deserved, 571 00:34:13,199 --> 00:34:16,079 "and as I watched the blade go into me over and over, 572 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,679 "the fact she could live without me brought a chilling blackness, 573 00:34:20,119 --> 00:34:22,639 "the look of pain in her eyes as she did it, almost worse. 574 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,519 "The terror I would leave her and Paul forever, worse still. 575 00:34:28,119 --> 00:34:29,119 "Somehow, I lived. 576 00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:32,440 "As I said, our love is fierce. It is a sun, it burns within us, 577 00:34:32,519 --> 00:34:36,000 "and sometimes it feels it will consume us, but it never does. 578 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,280 "All the best, your brother-in-law, Peter. 579 00:34:42,159 --> 00:34:45,679 "PS, please come visit. Spring is the nicest time." 580 00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,199 - Thoughts? - You are a wonder to me. 581 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,360 - And you me. - And also to me. 582 00:34:56,119 --> 00:34:57,400 Are you fucking... 583 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:02,400 tasting this pork thing? It's amazing. 584 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,400 Two great discoveries I made in France. 585 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,480 Enlightenment and French 75s. 586 00:35:15,079 --> 00:35:17,800 - I also discovered cunnilingus there. - Giving it or getting it? 587 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:19,440 - Both. - What a country. 588 00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:24,320 - Thanks for helping me. - To women and ideas. 589 00:35:24,679 --> 00:35:27,559 These fucking weak, mealy-mouthed, all-talk intellectuals. 590 00:35:27,639 --> 00:35:30,039 - I hoped for fire in there. - Are you really on her side? 591 00:35:31,039 --> 00:35:32,360 No one knows. 592 00:35:33,119 --> 00:35:35,360 - You're mysterious. - I am not at all. 593 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:37,559 France changed me forever. 594 00:35:38,159 --> 00:35:40,480 My concern is it is all talk from Voltaire and the others. 595 00:35:40,559 --> 00:35:43,119 The empress needs us to be wild, as you said, 596 00:35:43,199 --> 00:35:46,920 with our ideas, our push, our actions, if needs be. 597 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:47,920 I so agree. 598 00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:50,599 - Wow, this is strong. - As are we. 599 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,159 I need a friend who believes in what I do. 600 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,679 If the drinks are always this good, you have one. 601 00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:59,679 What a fucking night. 602 00:36:00,159 --> 00:36:03,920 - It felt so right, all of us together. - Are you fucking kidding me? 603 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,280 What? You liked him. 604 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,239 He is a fucking monster, 605 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:10,320 and someone needs to kill him so you idiots are free from his spell. 606 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:14,480 I really thought you were having a good time. 607 00:36:14,559 --> 00:36:17,159 Misread, like the orgasm thing. 608 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,519 I'm relatively sure we just made a new baby. 609 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:27,280 Perhaps. 610 00:36:33,679 --> 00:36:34,800 Paul! 611 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,559 You said to bring him if he said anything new. 612 00:36:37,639 --> 00:36:40,039 - What is it? - I'm scared to ask. 613 00:36:40,119 --> 00:36:42,000 I don't want to ruin the surprise. 614 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:43,320 Hi. 615 00:36:44,199 --> 00:36:45,360 What a cutie. 616 00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:48,400 What did you say, Paul? 617 00:36:49,079 --> 00:36:51,039 I'm really hoping for the word "enlightenment" 618 00:36:51,119 --> 00:36:52,320 to balance your mother and I. 619 00:36:57,639 --> 00:37:01,239 I don't want to ruin the moment, but you can't take this off him. 620 00:37:02,119 --> 00:37:03,239 Just think about it. 621 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:06,920 All right, I will. 622 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:08,840 Book. 623 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,000 - Did he just say "book"? - I think he did. 624 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,159 - Perfect. - Hey! 625 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,559 Practice! Let's practice the stag ritual! 626 00:37:19,639 --> 00:37:21,239 It's the middle of the night, Velementov. 627 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,360 We're a long time dead, and you must get it right, 628 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,320 or Paul's head... 629 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,199 Look at him. 630 00:37:31,519 --> 00:37:33,199 Peter the Great. 631 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,519 - Velementov, are you all right? - He was always there. 632 00:37:36,599 --> 00:37:37,840 I miss you. 633 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:41,880 Go home, Velementov. 634 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:45,360 We should honor this man, little Paul. 635 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:46,360 Look at him. 636 00:37:47,199 --> 00:37:49,679 Ruling family cuddling up. 637 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,079 What a day it will be. 638 00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,159 I'm glad I live to see it. 639 00:37:57,559 --> 00:38:01,239 - Anyway, let's practice! - Yep, I'll take him home. 640 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:05,280 To see him ordained, 641 00:38:06,079 --> 00:38:09,519 knowing how your father wept the day you were. 642 00:38:09,599 --> 00:38:12,639 - He did? - Like a baby. Baby. 643 00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:16,880 He made me slap him several times to try and stop him. 644 00:38:31,039 --> 00:38:32,039 Yes. 645 00:38:33,559 --> 00:38:35,280 So, you remade the friendship. 646 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,000 How do you know? 647 00:38:37,079 --> 00:38:39,480 The court is all a flurry. I felt proud of you. 648 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:41,679 And Peter and you, how did that go? 649 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,360 I prefer Pugachev's version. 650 00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:45,880 What? 651 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:47,519 He's living downstairs. 652 00:38:48,199 --> 00:38:50,000 I sometimes go back to my old life. 653 00:38:50,639 --> 00:38:54,920 He's fucking funny, that guy. He does Peter pitch-perfect. 654 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,880 Evil and charm, fused. 655 00:38:57,199 --> 00:38:59,559 Really? Interesting. 656 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,239 And you mentioned the ordination tonight? 657 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,079 No, but she's going to give in. 658 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,079 I can see her wavering, and he'll keep pushing. 659 00:39:11,159 --> 00:39:13,360 He knows just where to punch her in the heart. 660 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,719 He was born to have what he wants. 661 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,519 Great news! Join Maxim and I in a port. 662 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,679 - The drink and the game. - No, I'm exhausted. Good night. 663 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,480 Women, so delicate. 664 00:39:40,199 --> 00:39:42,159 So many late night visitors. 665 00:39:43,039 --> 00:39:44,079 Don't give in. 666 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:46,119 I'm not. 667 00:39:46,199 --> 00:39:48,599 Your voice is faltering even as you say it. 668 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,079 You cannot leave Russia in the hands-- 669 00:39:51,159 --> 00:39:53,599 - He's half of me. - His first word was "pussy." 670 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,840 A salient point. His second, "book," though. 671 00:39:58,079 --> 00:40:00,400 He works you, and you don't even see it. 672 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,960 Don't. We had rules, Marial. 673 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,079 I love you too much for rules. 674 00:40:10,599 --> 00:40:11,840 Don't give in. 675 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:31,239 Well, this is a sight for tired eyes. Success, I take it? 676 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,679 - Guaranteed. - As in not yet? 677 00:40:34,119 --> 00:40:36,599 As in not yet, and yet, it will be. 678 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,679 As in, "No, I haven't done my job." 679 00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,039 Don't scratch at me. 680 00:40:41,119 --> 00:40:44,119 I have mended our hearts, and will soon give the gentlest push, and she will fall. 681 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:48,400 - When? There is no time! - I will know the moment, as is my way. 682 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:52,480 The whole family line rests on my impeccable instincts. 683 00:40:52,559 --> 00:40:54,599 You can be confident I will bring it home. 684 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:56,039 Indeed. 685 00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,000 I'll rest easy, then. 686 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,199 - Morning! - Morning. 687 00:41:08,639 --> 00:41:11,039 I hear you've found peace with your husband. 688 00:41:11,119 --> 00:41:14,199 - Such passion you two have. - We do. 689 00:41:15,079 --> 00:41:16,880 I look at Paul, and I think, 690 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,320 "How can he not be anything but extraordinary?" 691 00:41:21,199 --> 00:41:23,360 Obvious and clumsy from you. 692 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:28,039 It is important. My mind shakes a little at the mistake you could make. 693 00:41:28,679 --> 00:41:30,440 Also slightly threaten-y. 694 00:41:30,519 --> 00:41:32,360 I'll stop. You start. 695 00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,320 I cannot espouse the ideals of meritocracy, 696 00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:39,079 and then let the church say a man in a cloud has chosen my son 697 00:41:39,159 --> 00:41:42,039 to rule all your lives, whether he is built for the job or not. 698 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,119 I enjoyed the speech, but that's not why. 699 00:41:45,199 --> 00:41:46,599 It is why. 700 00:41:46,679 --> 00:41:48,320 Also, what if I had a daughter? 701 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,000 I don't think that's happening when you have a cunt full of lemon top. 702 00:41:51,079 --> 00:41:52,920 I don't know what you're talking about. 703 00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:56,400 What are you... Hey, what... 704 00:41:57,119 --> 00:41:58,480 What the fuck are you doing? 705 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:02,400 - I can smell it. Lemon top. - Get away from me! 706 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,000 I will get it out, or you will admit it's in! 707 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,159 Yes, all right! 708 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:11,280 God. 709 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,880 I'm too busy to have another baby, that is all. 710 00:42:16,039 --> 00:42:18,960 The truth. Let's have more of that, shall we? 711 00:42:19,599 --> 00:42:20,519 God. 712 00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:23,880 Let me go. 713 00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:30,559 It's fucking madness, ordaining Paul. You should see that. 714 00:42:30,639 --> 00:42:34,599 It makes him an option for others. Get rid of me, choose him. 715 00:42:34,679 --> 00:42:36,039 Yes? 716 00:42:36,119 --> 00:42:38,400 - So you know that? - Yes, of course. 717 00:42:39,119 --> 00:42:40,880 And you would still have me do it? 718 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,719 You've always been under threat, always will be. 719 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,559 People are plotting to kill you somewhere right now. 720 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,159 - Perhaps even in here. - Funny. 721 00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:51,800 Was it? 722 00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:55,360 It strengthens you as much as it weakens you. 723 00:42:55,760 --> 00:43:00,960 And it preserves the family line of Peter the Great, your great love. 724 00:43:01,039 --> 00:43:02,159 And you. 725 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,800 But mainly him, for you. 726 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:08,400 It can work for all of us. 727 00:43:20,039 --> 00:43:21,840 I always think you are for me, 728 00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:24,880 but really, it is all for him. 729 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,320 I think I've done enough to prove my love for you. 730 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:33,199 I am asking you rather desperately to do something for me. 731 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:36,440 My instinct is no. 732 00:43:39,119 --> 00:43:40,440 It screams in me. 733 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:42,760 No. 734 00:43:47,039 --> 00:43:48,079 As you wish. 735 00:43:56,119 --> 00:43:58,119 Are we sure the barrel of this gun is straight? 736 00:43:58,199 --> 00:43:59,400 Yes, we're sure. 737 00:44:00,599 --> 00:44:03,599 - I think Paul said "dead." - "Bed." He said "bed." 738 00:44:03,679 --> 00:44:05,519 Maybe we need an old, slow stag. 739 00:44:05,599 --> 00:44:08,079 They are. Shall I find a three-legged one? 740 00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:09,559 Oh, fuck off, fat boy. 741 00:44:09,639 --> 00:44:11,880 Why don't you shoot me? I'm probably more your range. 742 00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:13,400 Let's just do it again. 743 00:44:26,679 --> 00:44:28,400 - Huzzah! - Yep. 744 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,000 - Cheers. - Paul! 745 00:44:30,679 --> 00:44:32,039 Huzzah, Paul! 746 00:44:32,679 --> 00:44:34,199 Chosen by God. 747 00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:39,440 And loved by Daddy. Yeah! 748 00:44:42,599 --> 00:44:45,360 Hi. Mama, wave to her. 749 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:50,800 Did you see that? 750 00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:54,320 I saw you. 751 00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:57,039 I have thought on it. 752 00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,079 - I will allow the stag ritual. - Huzzah. 753 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:01,599 But not the ordination. 754 00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,239 I don't have the right to discard my father's legacy. 755 00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:07,920 How do I explain that to him? 756 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,280 - He's dead. - No, he's not. 757 00:45:10,679 --> 00:45:13,199 - We are the future. - You mean you? 758 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,639 So I must push my family into a ditch to get out of your way? 759 00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:19,320 My father built the room we live in, the palace we live in, 760 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,800 in the city he built with a will of iron. 761 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:25,440 A thousand-year reign was his desire. You are legitimate because of him. 762 00:45:26,079 --> 00:45:29,360 I am legitimate because I fucking took it, because it is my destiny. 763 00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:30,599 No, because I gave it. 764 00:45:30,679 --> 00:45:32,199 - We're back here? - Yes. 765 00:45:32,559 --> 00:45:35,199 - And what of Paul? - Paul will have us. 766 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,559 How do we explain to him he's a fucking nobody? 767 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,719 Do you not think we are exceptional, you and I? 768 00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:41,800 Of course. 769 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,400 And that our child will likely be similar? 770 00:45:45,039 --> 00:45:48,480 You ask too much, of me, of Paul. 771 00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:50,800 I ask you to choose us. 772 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,400 What the fuck? 773 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,119 You fucking brought her here, you chose her as a wife. 774 00:46:17,199 --> 00:46:20,000 - This is your fucking fault. - You couldn't control her. 775 00:46:20,079 --> 00:46:23,000 Because I love her! You should never have brought me someone I would love. 776 00:46:23,079 --> 00:46:25,519 - Total mismanagement! - It's not my fault. 777 00:46:25,599 --> 00:46:27,079 Peter the Great ruled his women. 778 00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:29,559 I thought you might be something beyond a shadow of him. 779 00:46:29,639 --> 00:46:30,760 Total misjudgment. 780 00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:32,440 That was cruel. 781 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,559 You're both here. How fortuitous. 782 00:46:41,639 --> 00:46:45,000 - Archie, get off the ground. - She's not doing it. I failed. 783 00:46:45,559 --> 00:46:46,920 What the fuck will Daddy say? 784 00:46:47,559 --> 00:46:49,440 - Happy to make some guesses. - Hush. 785 00:46:49,519 --> 00:46:53,760 Which is why I have a plan, a sedative. You dab it on her lips once she's asleep. 786 00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,119 It will absorb, and put her in a heavy sleep. 787 00:46:56,199 --> 00:46:58,079 At midnight, Paul will be one. 788 00:46:58,159 --> 00:47:01,119 You bring him to the chapel, he's officially ordained, 789 00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:03,519 she never knows until she needs to. 790 00:47:03,599 --> 00:47:04,840 I like it. 791 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,320 God has intervened. 792 00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:08,519 Yeah, fuck it. Give me it. 793 00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,480 It is a secret you must keep until it's done. 794 00:47:12,199 --> 00:47:13,199 Right, right, right. 795 00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,639 Oh, that's fucking reassuring. "Right, right, right." 796 00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:19,199 - I will hit you again. - And God will note it down again. 797 00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,039 I believe in you, darling. 798 00:47:23,039 --> 00:47:25,000 To Emperor Paul. 799 00:47:25,079 --> 00:47:26,440 - Huzzah. - Huzzah! 800 00:47:26,519 --> 00:47:27,760 Huzzah. 801 00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:32,480 - So yummy. - Her placenta is divine. 802 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,280 Yeah, it tastes like Mommy's. 803 00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:06,119 This is exciting, Paul. 804 00:48:06,199 --> 00:48:08,760 Your first step toward becoming an emperor. 805 00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:15,199 What if it is not for you? 806 00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:17,039 It was not for me. 807 00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,360 What if I'm just putting a burden on your neck? 808 00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:24,119 It is exhausting to carry the weight of Peter the Great. 809 00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:28,280 Maybe a good father should protect you from that. 810 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:31,760 Nod if you want it. 811 00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:36,679 Imperceptible. 812 00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:39,440 You're right. I'll decide. 813 00:48:48,679 --> 00:48:49,639 He's late. 814 00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:53,400 Right. 815 00:49:03,559 --> 00:49:04,480 Watch, watch, watch. 816 00:49:05,079 --> 00:49:06,639 - Noble! - Emperor. 817 00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:07,960 Come here, bend over. 818 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,039 - Thank you, sir. - You may go. 819 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:28,840 - He actually thought you were him. - Good at my job. 820 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,559 These frescoes are so beautiful. 821 00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,639 Are you trying to distract yourself from the weakness of your nephew? 822 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:42,800 Yes. I am, actually. 823 00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,840 Only God can control destiny. 824 00:49:46,199 --> 00:49:48,320 Well, have a word then, will you? 825 00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:00,239 This is fucking bizarre. 826 00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:03,000 One minute they're like, "He's chosen by God," 827 00:50:03,079 --> 00:50:05,800 and now they're strapping him to a wild animal and shooting at him. 828 00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:07,039 This is Russia. 829 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,199 We'll be home soon, though. I can feel it. 830 00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:14,039 I'm sorry. I know what it meant to you. 831 00:50:14,119 --> 00:50:17,159 Love can carry wounds. I will carry mine. 832 00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:19,920 I took it out this morning, the lemon top. 833 00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,440 And I look forward to meeting your daughter. 834 00:50:22,519 --> 00:50:25,480 Or the possibility of a bushel of children to choose a leader from. 835 00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,800 - Grigor. Should I be nervous? - Not at all. 836 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:44,800 Fuck! 837 00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:46,800 New gun. 838 00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:48,400 It's fine. 839 00:50:57,960 --> 00:50:59,519 Release the stag! 840 00:51:18,079 --> 00:51:20,119 Huzzah! Huzzah! 841 00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,000 Pugachev. 842 00:51:23,559 --> 00:51:25,360 God has called you. 843 00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:28,639 - You fuckin' me, or I fuckin' you? - Neither. 844 00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:30,480 We're fucking the empress. 845 00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:33,159 Love it. 846 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:40,920 Revised and Synchronized by FAST TITLES MEDIA