1 00:00:06,759 --> 00:00:07,679 Did they fuck? 2 00:00:10,759 --> 00:00:12,039 Disappointing. 3 00:00:15,199 --> 00:00:17,559 What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? 4 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:21,120 What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? 5 00:00:21,199 --> 00:00:22,399 What the fuck am I doing? 6 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,600 I'm assuming the question's rhetorical, 7 00:00:23,679 --> 00:00:26,640 but if not, you are pacing and muttering insanely. 8 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,559 What the fuck am I doing today? 9 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,200 Today, you will give a voice to the voiceless. 10 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,399 One should never listen to one's subjects. Who knows what they'll say. 11 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:37,719 - I'm interested in what they have to say. - You're not. 12 00:00:37,799 --> 00:00:41,320 It's a trick you've played upon yourself after that American, 13 00:00:41,399 --> 00:00:44,000 with his rat coat and his rat cock and his rat cunning, 14 00:00:44,079 --> 00:00:46,200 whispered "We, the people" in your pussy. 15 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,840 These are my fucking beliefs. And I will bring the people with me. 16 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,840 And to do that, I must listen to them, hear them, respect them-- 17 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,840 Catherine, lie to them, to yourself, but not to me. 18 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,880 The only time a leader should listen to his subjects 19 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,560 is when they're screaming whilst being tortured, 20 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,200 chanting your name in adulation, 21 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:04,920 or whispering your name gratefully as you eat their pussy. 22 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,519 - You're very helpful. - As always. 23 00:01:07,599 --> 00:01:09,560 - Sarcasm. - I didn't read it so. 24 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,159 Abandon the conference. 25 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,640 I have peasants, merchants, 26 00:01:14,719 --> 00:01:18,319 nobles representing every region of Russia gathered together. 27 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,560 I cannot abandon 28 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:25,640 just because it might be a miserable failure that destroys me. 29 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,040 You're the empress. 30 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,920 You say, "I changed my mind. Instead, we're all going beaver hunting." 31 00:01:33,519 --> 00:01:35,280 You're the worst leader imaginable. 32 00:01:35,359 --> 00:01:37,879 Spoken like someone who's never seen the joy and comradery 33 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:39,120 engendered by beaver hunting. 34 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,640 It will be fine. 35 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,560 - I'm glad I didn't kill you. - A sentiment I share. 36 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:57,599 God, I'm actually fucking excited. It's the greatest day of my reign. 37 00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,280 You're mad. 38 00:01:59,359 --> 00:02:03,239 Which we have now established is good. 39 00:02:03,319 --> 00:02:04,439 It's... 40 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:12,120 {\an8}"The Nakaz: Ideas and Thoughts for the Conference of a New Legal Code 41 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:15,280 "and Approach to the Administration of a New Russia." 42 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,479 - That's a catchy title. - I think so too. 43 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,120 - Sarcasm. - Didn't read it so. 44 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,400 What is it? 45 00:02:23,479 --> 00:02:25,719 A list of some things I wished to do during my reign. 46 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,599 You could add them to your goals. 47 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,039 "A monkey for every village." 48 00:02:32,159 --> 00:02:34,800 "Rename raspberries 'Peterberries.'" 49 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,759 "All animals should be carpaccio'ed 50 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,520 "and the best tasting made the national dish." 51 00:02:42,599 --> 00:02:43,680 Visionary. 52 00:02:43,759 --> 00:02:46,319 Why are you two never making a baby when I walk in unannounced? 53 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,240 - It's really grinding my nerves. - Ready for our greatest day? 54 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,479 - Gosh. - Are you all right? 55 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,319 Back in Peter the Great's old apartments. 56 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,719 - It is-- - Yes, our new home. 57 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,599 We're to have drinks tonight to celebrate. 58 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,080 I have this rush of memory. Being taken against that wall. 59 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,000 - On all fours on this rug. - Oh, fuck. 60 00:03:06,879 --> 00:03:10,400 You've replaced the bed. Good idea after what we did to the old one. 61 00:03:10,479 --> 00:03:11,479 We really don't need to-- 62 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:16,439 And right here, being held aloft on his face as he drove his tongue... 63 00:03:20,159 --> 00:03:21,280 - Are you-- - Coming? 64 00:03:22,439 --> 00:03:24,479 Hyperventilating. 65 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:37,479 Looks better. 66 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:42,000 Maggots. Wonderful fusion of nature as science. 67 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,599 Also tasty on toast when paired with foie gras. 68 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:48,280 My right arm is paralyzed since I started drinking this solution you gave me. 69 00:03:50,599 --> 00:03:51,599 Shit. 70 00:03:53,599 --> 00:03:55,360 I got to start labeling these. 71 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,599 It's the wrong one. Sorry. 72 00:03:58,879 --> 00:04:00,000 - It'll pass. - When? 73 00:04:00,639 --> 00:04:03,120 Well, the human body is a mystery, so I can't give you a "when." 74 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,439 Yet you can give me something to paralyze me. 75 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:09,520 Well, medicine is art, not science. 76 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,919 Yet you keep calling it science. 77 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,719 What the fuck is she playing at? 78 00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:17,399 There's peasants here. Fucking peasants. 79 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,040 Do you not think it exciting, 80 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,000 gathering representatives from all classes, all regions? 81 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,759 - Something giddying about it. - No, I don't. 82 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:27,639 I think it's fucking madness, 83 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,560 because change is never good for the nobles. Never. 84 00:04:37,399 --> 00:04:38,800 Jesus Christ. 85 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:40,839 Fucking Simitz. 86 00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:43,079 He's in the courtyard. 87 00:04:43,959 --> 00:04:44,879 What? 88 00:04:52,199 --> 00:04:55,920 The equality of the citizen consists in that they should all be subject 89 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,519 to the same laws. 90 00:04:58,199 --> 00:04:59,199 Peasants! 91 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,480 Welcome to the future. 92 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,959 I hope you have enjoyed the readings from the Nakaz. 93 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,639 I am so excited to have you here, gathered from all over 94 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,360 to bring the peasants' experience to make this new Russia. 95 00:05:11,439 --> 00:05:14,399 So, let your voice be heard for the first time, 96 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,519 and give full throttle to it. 97 00:05:21,199 --> 00:05:23,519 Well, a great day beckons. 98 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:25,439 See you in there. 99 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,040 - Who was that? - Don't know. 100 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,439 - They're going to kill us, aren't they? - Not if we do as we're told. 101 00:05:33,759 --> 00:05:35,519 They might do it just for fun. 102 00:05:36,319 --> 00:05:38,079 At least we got to see the palace. 103 00:05:38,519 --> 00:05:41,240 - A big day, Empress. - Indeed, Archie. 104 00:05:41,319 --> 00:05:44,160 Shall I speak to the peasants? Tell them God's on your side? 105 00:05:44,519 --> 00:05:47,519 I have done it. And counseled them to give free and full voice 106 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,959 to their thoughts and desires. 107 00:05:49,319 --> 00:05:52,439 - I wish to hear them pure. - Interesting strategy. 108 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,720 Might I suggest, speaking of strategy, 109 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,040 today the win is more important than the "what." 110 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,879 - Understood. - Something easy. 111 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,279 When this is done, in a few months, 112 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,920 they will return to their regions feeling that they have a stake in this new Russia, 113 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,240 that they have had a hand in it. And then, change. 114 00:06:15,079 --> 00:06:18,560 - You have three nipples. - Royal blood. Thins at the top. 115 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,560 - I have six toes. - Fantastic. 116 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,879 Your wife's making history today. 117 00:06:24,959 --> 00:06:26,399 - Mad. - Fucking mad. 118 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,279 - I'm so glad you can see that. - Of course. Listening to the people? 119 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:30,279 - Madness. - It is. 120 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,319 - It's what you did, right? - Yep. 121 00:06:32,639 --> 00:06:36,360 My legacy... fuck me... is the man who lost Sweden. 122 00:06:38,079 --> 00:06:40,639 Yours is the man who lost Russia to the woman who lost Russia. 123 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,759 It's just an opinion. Don't flare your eyes like you're gonna stab me. 124 00:06:45,319 --> 00:06:47,920 What else did you do? Our reign was short. 125 00:06:48,319 --> 00:06:50,600 No beards. But she turned that around. 126 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:55,199 And I was building a giant church bell, the biggest in Europe, 127 00:06:55,519 --> 00:06:59,399 but we didn't finish it. And... 128 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,279 Maybe we did so little we won't even be the tragic footnote we look like. 129 00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:07,120 Hugo, shut up about that. I don't care. I have other interests. 130 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,079 My wife, my child, why these horses won't fuck. 131 00:07:13,079 --> 00:07:15,720 Grigor, where the fuck have you been? I had branches and sent a message. 132 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,279 - I was-- - Hugo stepped into the breach. 133 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,360 To the reliability of kings. 134 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:22,800 Have they fucked yet? 135 00:07:22,879 --> 00:07:25,680 They have not, and it's very dispiriting. 136 00:07:25,759 --> 00:07:28,839 I'm to create a European superhorse. My own breed. 137 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,160 It's weird being back in Peter the Great's apartment. 138 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,000 It seemed the best space. And it's customary for the emperor to live in. 139 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:39,839 I just didn't want to when I was emperor. But Catherine and I need our own space. 140 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,360 Hard not to feel him here, 141 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,439 booming voice shaking everyone with laughter and fear, 142 00:07:44,519 --> 00:07:46,199 us cowering in the corner. 143 00:07:46,279 --> 00:07:48,720 Grigor, step back. Take it from me. 144 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,399 We kings don't like to talk of our fathers. 145 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:51,959 It hurts our stomachs and makes our eyes itch. 146 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,240 So true. 147 00:07:53,319 --> 00:07:55,720 Look at this fucking horse. He's not even fucking hard. 148 00:07:56,079 --> 00:07:58,079 We have soft music and candlelight. 149 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,600 I thought they'd like the privacy of indoors, but no luck. 150 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:03,600 One of you should get him hard. 151 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,639 - How would we do that? - A firm hand and a friendly eye. 152 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,319 I would love to, but I have small hands that cramp up with motion, so... 153 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,519 Well, Grigor, you're the man for the job. 154 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:15,800 Fluff the horse? 155 00:08:15,879 --> 00:08:18,399 - Grigor! Grigor! Grigor! - Grigor! Grigor! 156 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,800 Grigor! Grigor! Grigor! 157 00:08:21,879 --> 00:08:25,000 - Grigor! Grigor! - Fucking Simitz is here. 158 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:28,959 - What? - At court? 159 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,600 Thinks you're dead. Out in the regions, some people think you're dead. 160 00:08:36,159 --> 00:08:37,159 I'm not. 161 00:08:39,399 --> 00:08:40,320 Who's Simitz? 162 00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:43,639 Long story, only known by his lifelong friends. 163 00:08:51,039 --> 00:08:54,759 Here is the day. The promise delivered. I bow before you. 164 00:08:55,879 --> 00:08:59,200 You smell magnificent, like you have rolled around in some freshly cut grass 165 00:08:59,279 --> 00:09:00,919 and douched with half a peach. 166 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:04,639 Thank you, Voltaire. I have not done any of those things. 167 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,320 Shame. 168 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,519 - Orlo would be proud. - Thank you. 169 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,080 - I have thought of him much this day. - He would've loved it. 170 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,840 He believed in you for quite a long time until he stopped. 171 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,600 I came to say good luck. 172 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,480 Thank you. That is-- 173 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:35,039 Massive, pointless, self-aggrandizing fucking book club. 174 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,600 You're in your element. 175 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:39,919 I guess you stopped trying to make up then. 176 00:09:41,639 --> 00:09:44,000 Indeed, Empress, I have. 177 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,480 On account of me being right about all of it, 178 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,159 and you being a bitch about all of it. 179 00:09:51,159 --> 00:09:53,120 I think they're almost ready. 180 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,960 What a joy it is to see this. 181 00:10:04,039 --> 00:10:07,039 Nobles, merchants and peasants all gathered together. 182 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,200 Welcome to the Nakaz. 183 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:14,559 We are here to do the historic and, also, fun job of remaking Russia. 184 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,440 Open your hearts, clear your throats. Let us have at it. 185 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,080 Can the peasants not look us in the eye? 186 00:10:22,159 --> 00:10:23,759 Smolny, sit! 187 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:29,120 Where to begin on this incredible day? 188 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,320 Let's go boldly. 189 00:10:31,399 --> 00:10:33,240 - Oh, dear. - Indeed. 190 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,120 Who here has had someone they love murdered? 191 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,320 Felt that pain? 192 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,720 Or have killed and felt that pain? 193 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,639 And known in their marrow the damage they wrought to the soul 194 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,759 in the taking of another human life. 195 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:56,600 Today, we will outlaw murder. 196 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,000 - What the... - Fuck? 197 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,919 - Huzzah! - Huzzah. 198 00:11:01,879 --> 00:11:03,799 I am right beside you, as always. 199 00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:05,320 I will take that fucker's eyes 200 00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:08,000 and then spend the next week winking at them on my desk. 201 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,240 - Huzzah! - Fantastic. 202 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,039 I'm here for you. Some context would be great though. 203 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,159 He was going to the conference. 204 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:16,519 Right. 205 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,000 - What you doing? - Fuck! 206 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,279 I cannot step on Catherine's thing. 207 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:28,120 - It'll only interrupt them for a minute. - True, but maybe not. 208 00:11:28,919 --> 00:11:30,240 Probably not a good idea 209 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,879 to fill the air with blood spray when she's hoping for enlightened words. 210 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,360 Later. Fucking later. 211 00:11:36,879 --> 00:11:39,919 - You're a good husband. - I try. 212 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,840 - You're going to kill him, though? - Of course I am, Arkady. 213 00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,360 Fucking weird question. 214 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,799 Empress, with the deepest respect, what the fuck are you talking about? 215 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,519 The merchants echo Smolny with a strong, 216 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,960 "What the fuck are you talking about?" 217 00:11:58,039 --> 00:12:00,879 Show some fuckin' respect, shopkeeper. 218 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,279 Velementov... 219 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,080 The threat of murder underpins all contracts. 220 00:12:05,799 --> 00:12:09,440 The law will. Sanctions, torture, imprisonment. 221 00:12:10,279 --> 00:12:12,879 And then they fucking walk away? 222 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,600 Bottom line, any cunt can walk away from a deal. 223 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:18,559 This is fucking bullshit on a plate, 224 00:12:18,639 --> 00:12:22,039 a power grab by the empress dressed up as-- 225 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:30,000 Of course, interesting and worth discussing, respectfully. 226 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,799 - Indeed. - The cost is our point. 227 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,120 We will not know what it costs us until we are freed from it. 228 00:12:39,919 --> 00:12:40,840 I have a question. 229 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:42,679 Hypothetically speaking, 230 00:12:42,759 --> 00:12:46,799 say I stabbed someone five times in the back but he doesn't die, 231 00:12:47,639 --> 00:12:49,559 we're all good with that, right? 232 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,399 Once, Igor put seven mole rats in a bag, 233 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,559 took them out of the field where they were playing blissfully. 234 00:12:59,639 --> 00:13:03,399 But suddenly, at close quarters, a trapped distrust grew between them. 235 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,279 And in the morning, six were dead 236 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:09,679 and one looked bewildered and sad at what he'd done. 237 00:13:09,759 --> 00:13:10,919 This is us. 238 00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:16,159 Well, that's a weird fucking story. 239 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,120 Killing has become an easy answer 240 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:22,080 to questions we cannot be bothered to answer in any other way. 241 00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:24,120 This will force us to search 242 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:28,120 and will elevate our souls and spirits when we find those answers. 243 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,720 Don't be fucking animals anymore is the point. Simple. 244 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,639 That fucking peasant looked at me again. 245 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,480 Smolny, sit the fuck down or I'll put a hole in you. 246 00:13:43,279 --> 00:13:46,399 Over a fucking peasant? Really, Velementov. 247 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,519 - Take a good hard look at yourself. - Is anyone else getting the irony? 248 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,600 Peasants, I would love to hear from you. 249 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,240 The peasants. Clearly, they have everything to fucking gain. 250 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:59,440 This is an attack on the nobles' rights, as we have the right to kill anyone. 251 00:13:59,519 --> 00:14:02,039 - We know what they're going to say. - Raskolvy, sit down. 252 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,039 I'm sorry, I thought we were here to be heard. 253 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,519 - I'm a bit confused. - Peasants, please speak. 254 00:14:09,159 --> 00:14:10,200 We... 255 00:14:11,799 --> 00:14:13,679 - We... - You may speak. 256 00:14:14,279 --> 00:14:17,279 - Weigh your words well. - I just said they could speak. 257 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,039 Thank you. 258 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:24,120 - We like murder. - Good peasant! Bravo. 259 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,799 Yes. We believe the current situation is adequate. 260 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,320 Huzzah! 261 00:14:34,519 --> 00:14:37,000 Where nobles can kill you with impunity? 262 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:41,279 - Yes, as the God Almighty wills it. - He also says, "Thou shalt not kill." 263 00:14:41,919 --> 00:14:44,559 - You don't believe in God. - Doesn't mean he's always wrong. 264 00:14:44,639 --> 00:14:46,600 - Can you kill us? - Me? 265 00:14:47,759 --> 00:14:49,039 - I'm not-- - The state? 266 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,519 Of course we fuckin' can. 267 00:14:50,879 --> 00:14:54,320 It's not on the table. Kill everyone in a room if we feel like it. 268 00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:01,159 - But we won't. - Quiet the fuck down! 269 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,360 Well, will the state kill? 270 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:11,360 - Yes, the state must reserve the right-- - What the... This is ludicrous. 271 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:15,000 We should live free of the state deciding our lives. 272 00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:19,480 - Freedom from tyranny. - I'm not fucking tyranny. 273 00:15:19,559 --> 00:15:21,240 Figure of speech, Empress. 274 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,240 I'm completely with you on this. I just got a bit swept up. 275 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,519 Will we get a vote? 276 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,639 Vote! Vote! Vote! 277 00:15:29,039 --> 00:15:30,440 Vote! Vote! 278 00:15:30,759 --> 00:15:35,200 Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! 279 00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:37,879 No, we must back... be behind our empress! 280 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,759 We must back her as she is heaven-sent 281 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:46,120 to change you fucking animals into biped... 282 00:15:47,759 --> 00:15:48,879 Oh, God. 283 00:15:55,679 --> 00:15:57,519 Clearly time for an adjournment. 284 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,639 Call Vinodel to help her. 285 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,240 Bravo. Bravo! 286 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,360 This is so much better than I'd hoped for. 287 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,679 Whenever I get the need to kill and it is stymied, 288 00:16:14,759 --> 00:16:18,320 I get this fucking headache that only ice-cold water will stave off. 289 00:16:18,399 --> 00:16:20,879 Your blood won't still until his does spill. 290 00:16:21,639 --> 00:16:23,360 Fucking good, Arkady. 291 00:16:24,639 --> 00:16:26,000 I need to eat something bloody. 292 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:29,519 Tell the chef to grill me a pheasant, raw, as if it had just been shot. 293 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,879 Love to hear the story on this guy. 294 00:16:32,399 --> 00:16:36,720 You should be concentrating on getting our fucking horse hard, Hugo! 295 00:16:36,799 --> 00:16:38,480 Hey, hey, yelling. 296 00:16:38,559 --> 00:16:40,000 Come on. Hug Hugo. 297 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,399 - I don't want a hug. I don't want a-- - He's not hugging you. 298 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:43,919 Come on. 299 00:16:45,159 --> 00:16:46,600 You will spill his blood soon, 300 00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:50,759 and will be at peace in your big old heart and your fizzing veins. 301 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,559 Exactly. You're right, Hugo. 302 00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:55,200 It is a good day. He is back and I get to kill him. 303 00:16:55,279 --> 00:16:57,120 - Cup half full. - Of his blood. 304 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,679 Fantastic! 305 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,240 Why are they doing that? 306 00:17:20,519 --> 00:17:22,359 - Great. - Right, okay, great. 307 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,039 Let's get this horse hard. 308 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,960 Someone get me a glove. 309 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:30,480 Grigor! Grigor! 310 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,039 Well, that was close to going horribly wrong. 311 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,480 Toes on the precipice, for certain. 312 00:17:46,559 --> 00:17:48,480 Saved by Georgina, of all people. 313 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,519 No murder? You did come out strong. 314 00:17:51,599 --> 00:17:53,880 Attacked our greatest and most loved pastime. 315 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:54,960 I had to go bold. 316 00:17:55,279 --> 00:17:57,359 - You are you. - Exactly. 317 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,279 But I have to win the first one. Can we claw it back? 318 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,480 Or should I say, "Hey, let's all go beaver hunting"? 319 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:04,920 - Would let us reset. - A retreat would look like a loss. 320 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,680 God, I can't believe the peasants are against it. 321 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,400 - Fuck. - And almost everyone else. 322 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,160 The peasants have never crossed the nobles 323 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,039 without ending up at their own funeral. 324 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:16,720 They'll follow their lead unless unpicked from their fear. 325 00:18:16,799 --> 00:18:19,160 Perhaps I can help with that. 326 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,799 I want them to speak freely, Archie. That's why they're here. 327 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,200 And we also want to win. 328 00:18:23,279 --> 00:18:26,200 Yes, and that. And that's why I now have you two. 329 00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:29,119 Go forth and be persuasive. 330 00:18:39,039 --> 00:18:40,799 What were you doing in there? 331 00:18:42,279 --> 00:18:43,200 Drunk. 332 00:18:44,559 --> 00:18:46,440 - Sorry. - You're always drunk. 333 00:18:46,519 --> 00:18:48,279 No, it's something else. 334 00:18:48,839 --> 00:18:49,799 I... 335 00:18:56,519 --> 00:18:58,960 I cough a small amount up each day. 336 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,240 Who knows how much is left inside. 337 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,160 Probably a lot. 338 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,440 Fucking hell of an autopsy that'll be. 339 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,119 You should go. 340 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,039 - But don't wear white. - Did you see Vinodel? 341 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:15,279 I know what it is, 342 00:19:16,799 --> 00:19:18,319 and I know what it means. 343 00:19:19,319 --> 00:19:20,880 No. No. 344 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:24,519 I won't allow it. 345 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,039 Well, 346 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:28,880 take a vote on it. 347 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,359 Actually, I've made a few enemies, 348 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,480 so maybe don't. 349 00:19:34,559 --> 00:19:37,759 You should take time away from your duties. Rest. 350 00:19:37,839 --> 00:19:39,319 No, no. Bad idea. 351 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,519 All I have is my duties. 352 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:43,440 Please. 353 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,839 I'd beg on my knees, but I'd never get up. 354 00:19:47,759 --> 00:19:48,799 Okay, but... 355 00:19:59,279 --> 00:20:02,960 - Vanilla. You smell of-- - Don't make it weird. 356 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:09,839 And your breasts are like firm, translucent apples. 357 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,119 Fucker. 358 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,200 - Just less booze, perhaps. - I'll pull it together. 359 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,079 - I promise. - And see Vinodel. 360 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:26,960 Catherine! 361 00:20:30,079 --> 00:20:31,599 Between you and me. 362 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:13,319 Darling? 363 00:21:22,519 --> 00:21:23,680 I found this in the hall. 364 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:27,519 Fuckers. 365 00:21:27,599 --> 00:21:31,000 As well as various pages used to wipe various asses. 366 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,039 "No murder" may not have been the most savvy move for day one. 367 00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,160 No murder? That was your-- 368 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,720 I wanted something bold that spoke of my ambition, 369 00:21:38,799 --> 00:21:41,039 of our capacity to rewrite ourselves. 370 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:42,400 You would not be you if you did not. 371 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,359 Thank you for saying it like it is a compliment. 372 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:46,519 It is. 373 00:21:46,599 --> 00:21:48,359 Know you always have my list to fall back on. 374 00:21:49,079 --> 00:21:50,039 Kind. 375 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:51,759 I will persevere. 376 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:56,880 I must turn my airy ideas into steel and will. 377 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,759 I will win. I am me. I will pull this off. 378 00:22:01,759 --> 00:22:04,200 Small thing. I have to kill someone tonight. 379 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,640 - What? - Yeah, I vowed to kill him years ago. 380 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,839 He disappeared, coward, and now he has come back. 381 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,319 I am trying to outlaw murder. 382 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,440 I apologize for the timing, but the cunt is dead. 383 00:22:14,519 --> 00:22:17,440 So if you aim to come in now with argument in your heart and mouth 384 00:22:17,519 --> 00:22:21,000 rather than love and support for your husband's needs, do not. 385 00:22:21,079 --> 00:22:26,160 Have you not been listening? I am out there risking my rule on an idea. 386 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,079 - A stupid idea. - A beautiful idea. 387 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,119 - You will not kill him. - I will. 388 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,279 Wait, no murder? How are we to settle grievances? 389 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:36,640 I have a range of options. 390 00:22:37,039 --> 00:22:40,480 Imprisonment, torture, garnishing of land and wages. 391 00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:42,720 - Many ways. - They seem dull. 392 00:22:42,799 --> 00:22:45,160 Also, if you were a curious wife, 393 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,759 interested in the emotional life of one's husband, 394 00:22:47,839 --> 00:22:49,920 you might ask, "Why, dear one?" 395 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,000 I don't care why. There is no "why." 396 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:53,599 He used to trip me. 397 00:22:54,079 --> 00:22:56,559 - What? - In front of my father, he would trip me. 398 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,240 They were close friends, and in this room, 399 00:22:58,319 --> 00:22:59,799 when Grigor and I would come to see Father, 400 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:03,039 as we walked towards him, he would find a way to trip one of us. 401 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:04,519 - And then-- - Trip you? 402 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,200 Are you fucking kidding? 403 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,519 Well, fuck, behead him immediately. 404 00:23:10,599 --> 00:23:13,240 There is a woman in the salon whose breath was bad and blew it my way. 405 00:23:13,599 --> 00:23:14,599 I shall kill her too. 406 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,079 She could just take some peppermint lozenges, 407 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,359 but you should set your boundaries as you wish. 408 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,960 My head is going to explode. 409 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,920 Then after he'd trip us-- 410 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,640 Is this tragic story still going? Let me pull up a chair. 411 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:29,599 Father would laugh and Simitz would say, "I might fuck them." 412 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:32,599 And he would jump on us, pin us, and pretend to fuck us 413 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,720 as he banged our heads into the floor and hard humped. 414 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,599 And we struggled, Father roared with laughter, and-- 415 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:41,799 What? 416 00:23:42,519 --> 00:23:47,839 And sometimes he would come. 417 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:51,759 Jesus. 418 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,519 I could not go against him because Father... 419 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,279 Well, he preferred him, and... 420 00:24:03,079 --> 00:24:04,319 I was 12. 421 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,319 Peter. 422 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,599 You know, when my father died, my first thought was... 423 00:24:11,039 --> 00:24:13,559 My first thought was, "Daddy's gone. I don't how to live, how to be." 424 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:18,839 But my second was, "Get Simitz, cut his cock and hands off, 425 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,279 "scoop out his eyes, barbecue them, 426 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:24,960 "kick his face to a pulp, flay his torso and salt his raw flesh." 427 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,680 The order of that may be wrong. 428 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,839 - My darling. - I have to kill him, Catherine. 429 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,119 Because you think it will take your pain away. 430 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,400 It will. 431 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:39,319 When I killed you, or thought I had, it did not take my pain away. 432 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,519 But you loved me more than you hated me. 433 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,519 I will not let you do this. 434 00:24:45,079 --> 00:24:46,640 You're worried I'll embarrass you at your conference. 435 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,240 A good leader doesn't give a fuck about the thoughts of his subjects, 436 00:24:49,319 --> 00:24:52,240 foreigners or anyone other than what is in his own heart. 437 00:24:52,319 --> 00:24:53,920 Your guests have arrived. 438 00:24:54,319 --> 00:24:56,400 Of course, Lev. Just a moment. 439 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,559 Remember, there is only now, 440 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,359 and now is us fizzing drinks and fucking horses. 441 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,160 I will join you presently. 442 00:25:26,799 --> 00:25:32,319 I have the sorest hand and to no avail. Very stubborn, very flaccid horse. 443 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,920 Hi. You will not believe-- 444 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,319 - Stop. - What? 445 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,759 Whatever you were going to say. 446 00:25:38,839 --> 00:25:43,559 We are going to pretend that nothing exists but us. 447 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:44,920 We're going to the lake. 448 00:25:45,319 --> 00:25:49,400 We're gonna swim naked in the moonlight, make love in the moonlight 449 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,519 and feast in the moonlight. 450 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:55,720 Doesn't have to be in that order. If you're hungry, we can work backwards. 451 00:25:55,799 --> 00:25:59,240 Fucking Hugo. That guy is a poison in the system, and I know it. 452 00:25:59,319 --> 00:26:00,599 And he knows I know it. 453 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,720 And I have known Peter and loved Peter my whole-- 454 00:26:02,799 --> 00:26:06,039 Fuck Peter. Fuck her. What about us? 455 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,119 Are our lives lived at their whim? 456 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:09,920 Is that a rhetorical question? 457 00:26:10,279 --> 00:26:13,119 Is there any possibility we could leave them behind tonight? 458 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,640 I have to go to be there for Peter. 459 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,519 No, you don't. She doesn't. Actually, no one does. 460 00:26:18,599 --> 00:26:20,960 - I do. - I could listen to this all night. 461 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,279 What do you want? 462 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,960 My husband and I are required at Catherine and Peter's party. 463 00:26:26,279 --> 00:26:28,920 No one buys your "I love Catherine" show, Georgina. 464 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,599 I mean, her pussy must taste like bitter fruit, Grigor. 465 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,799 Fair warning, I am going to punch you in the face. 466 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,079 Marial! George, shut up. 467 00:26:40,319 --> 00:26:41,839 Grigor, are we going? 468 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:46,440 I... 469 00:26:47,079 --> 00:26:48,400 Sort of tense. 470 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:50,599 But we all know who he's choosing, and it's not either of us. 471 00:26:51,799 --> 00:26:52,920 Just go. 472 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,599 - I love you. - I hate you. 473 00:26:55,319 --> 00:26:58,680 I'll come as soon as I crush Hugo in front of Peter. 474 00:26:58,759 --> 00:27:01,279 And depending on how Peter's feeling about the Simitz thing. 475 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,880 And depending if there's crème brûlée for dessert or George needs fingering. 476 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,559 I do need fingering, actually. 477 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:09,920 I love you. 478 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:12,920 - Bye. - Grigor. 479 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:15,960 Simitz. 480 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,000 Kill the cunt. 481 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:20,119 We will. 482 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,960 Hello. They got you. Great. 483 00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:29,240 Empress, I have wronged your husband, 484 00:27:29,319 --> 00:27:32,839 but my three years lost in the desert have led to my enlightenment. 485 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,880 I deserve to die, but hearing you speak today, 486 00:27:36,279 --> 00:27:39,000 I know that a new Russia is born. 487 00:27:39,559 --> 00:27:43,200 I and the eight nobles I bring from Vladivostok region 488 00:27:43,279 --> 00:27:44,880 are in lockstep with you. 489 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,480 - My husband wants to kill you. - You mustn't let him. 490 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:53,079 - How would that look? - Yes, obviously pretty fucking bad. 491 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,240 Still, I have much sympathy for his position. 492 00:27:55,559 --> 00:27:57,960 We must find a way to satisfy his rage. 493 00:27:58,599 --> 00:27:59,839 I am at your whim. 494 00:28:00,319 --> 00:28:03,119 Glad you understand that. All right, come. Let's go. 495 00:28:03,599 --> 00:28:06,079 - You're not taking me to him? - I am. 496 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,640 - I think that is a very bad idea. - And I do not. 497 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,960 So return to the "I'm at your whim" statement. 498 00:28:29,519 --> 00:28:32,240 You want a drink? You look like you need a drink. 499 00:28:32,319 --> 00:28:34,839 I'm too agitated until I kill this fucking guy. 500 00:28:39,119 --> 00:28:44,119 Peter, son of Peter the Great, I beseech your forgiveness. 501 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,359 Bring me a fucking blunt butter knife. I want this to be slow. 502 00:28:50,279 --> 00:28:52,839 - A fucking knife! - I hurt you, I know I did. 503 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,839 I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me? 504 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:57,640 - No. - Kill me if you must. 505 00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,039 I will, and I must. 506 00:28:59,799 --> 00:29:01,160 I'll get my own fucking knife. 507 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,240 - Terrible service. - Empress. 508 00:29:04,319 --> 00:29:06,799 - Peter. - Catherine, step aside. 509 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,400 Let it go. It will not take the pain away. 510 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:12,039 Well, why don't I kill him, and then I will tell you if it does. 511 00:29:12,119 --> 00:29:15,200 If it doesn't, you were right. And if it does, I was right. 512 00:29:15,279 --> 00:29:18,160 A real experiment in the emotional life of humans. 513 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,599 - Science. - Nobles of the court! 514 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,880 In a moment, this man's blood will gush, 515 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,880 and my husband will have blackened his soul, and ours with it. 516 00:29:26,319 --> 00:29:28,400 - Huzzah. Huzzah! - Shut the fuck up! 517 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,759 And you will all be reassured that we are all alone, 518 00:29:30,839 --> 00:29:33,440 and living at the whim of each other's pain and madness. 519 00:29:33,519 --> 00:29:35,440 That any moment could be your last. 520 00:29:35,519 --> 00:29:38,400 That there is no rhyme or reason to our lives. 521 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:42,240 This is the Russia I try to leave behind for all of us. 522 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,519 The floor is yours, husband. 523 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:46,960 Well, you've really taken the fun out of this moment. 524 00:29:47,039 --> 00:29:48,279 I'm really sorry. 525 00:29:49,319 --> 00:29:52,720 It just made your father laugh, and I was always so fucking terrified. 526 00:29:52,799 --> 00:29:53,839 Shut up! 527 00:29:56,799 --> 00:29:58,000 I'm begging you. 528 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:00,880 For us. 529 00:30:05,559 --> 00:30:07,480 To Catherine the Great. Huzzah. 530 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,480 - Huzzah. - Huzzah. 531 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,519 And to Peter III. Huzzah! 532 00:30:14,599 --> 00:30:16,000 - Huzzah. - Huzzah. 533 00:30:17,279 --> 00:30:19,440 Keep the fuck away from me. 534 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:27,160 - Thank you, thank you, thank you. - You best fuck off, sir. And quickly. 535 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,200 I need a drink. Grigor, where are you? 536 00:30:34,119 --> 00:30:35,839 Drink. Champagne cocktail, vodka shooter, 537 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,519 followed by a spritzy crème de menthe thing I've been toying with. 538 00:30:38,599 --> 00:30:40,359 And where the fuck is Grigor? 539 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,119 Fucking servants. Never there when you need 'em. 540 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:44,119 Fuck 'em. 541 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,920 - The spritzy one is cheering. - Isn't it? 542 00:30:55,759 --> 00:30:58,039 You piqued my interest. 543 00:30:58,119 --> 00:31:01,839 So silent and still, and yet something. 544 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,559 - I like to listen. - As do I. 545 00:31:07,079 --> 00:31:08,960 You're a very rich, very busy man, 546 00:31:09,039 --> 00:31:12,119 and you elected to come to the Nakaz for two months. 547 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,519 I'm a patriot. 548 00:31:14,759 --> 00:31:18,400 So strange how one gets a shiver up the spine when people say that. 549 00:31:19,079 --> 00:31:20,200 I serve Russia. 550 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,079 Well, she is Russia. 551 00:31:25,559 --> 00:31:28,279 She wants to hear our voice, apparently. 552 00:31:28,359 --> 00:31:32,759 Indeed. She wants to hear your voice hearing her and yelling, "Huzzah!" 553 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,119 Well, she's opened the door to something else. 554 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,960 We will have a say in Russia, finally. 555 00:31:39,799 --> 00:31:40,720 No murder? 556 00:31:41,599 --> 00:31:42,519 Insane. 557 00:31:45,359 --> 00:31:46,480 Is your arm numb? 558 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:57,920 It is a little, actually. 559 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,480 I poisoned your tea, 560 00:31:59,559 --> 00:32:04,119 which explains the arm and possibly the light-headedness, the chest pain. 561 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,400 It's a kind of yellow flower essence. You smell it, you faint. 562 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:15,720 You drink it? Well, your kidneys die, and you shortly after. 563 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,720 No murder. How are you feeling about it? 564 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,599 - I am but one man. - Who holds the merchants in his hand. 565 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,920 One bite and in half an hour, you'll be fine. 566 00:32:37,519 --> 00:32:38,599 A snake? 567 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:40,680 Nature. 568 00:32:40,759 --> 00:32:45,640 All the questions and all the answers in a delightfully chaotic form. 569 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:51,799 There'll be some throwing up shortly. Try to answer before you black out. 570 00:32:52,559 --> 00:32:54,240 Let me know when you've made your decision. 571 00:32:54,599 --> 00:32:56,759 Yes. Yes, fine, you have my word. 572 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,160 It is known merchants are not always true to their word. 573 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,599 - I would hate for this to happen again. - Me too. 574 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:08,720 My snake will only bite you once. You know, Peter the Great's family. 575 00:33:08,799 --> 00:33:11,319 - We don't give second chances. - Yes, very well understood. 576 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:12,920 A great relief. 577 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,480 Now, let's cure you. Thigh or armpit? 578 00:33:21,799 --> 00:33:22,960 Do you want us to undress? 579 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:24,680 Undress? 580 00:33:25,599 --> 00:33:28,000 To be killed, so we don't ruin the shirts? 581 00:33:28,359 --> 00:33:31,640 The empress does not wish to kill you. You are spared. 582 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,880 Relief floods your faces, 583 00:33:36,759 --> 00:33:40,039 and yet you seemed opposed to the empress's anti-murder bill. 584 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,079 - Why? - We think she's a witch. 585 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,319 Her nose is small and her skin too white. 586 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,960 She has a mole on her neck, a hole where the devil gets in. 587 00:33:49,359 --> 00:33:53,359 Sent to test us against our masters, to lead us into temptation. 588 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:54,880 It's a trick. 589 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,359 Say, "We hate murder," and then the nobles murder us. 590 00:33:59,799 --> 00:34:03,599 - She is changing Russia. - She was not picked by God. 591 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,720 So you do remember him, then? 592 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:08,159 God? 593 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:10,159 Because the way you've been acting, 594 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,159 you'd think it was the nobles who you pray to. 595 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:14,679 She's not freeing us, is she? 596 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,480 They'll still own us, even if they can't kill us. 597 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,920 At least when you can get murdered, you know it might end. 598 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:23,880 An optimistic spin on things. 599 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:28,199 Allow me to just unpick this present fear 600 00:34:28,599 --> 00:34:31,760 that you have stitched yourselves to. 601 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,280 Eternal damnation. 602 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:38,760 You familiar with it? 603 00:34:39,679 --> 00:34:42,760 I'll just do a quick recap for you while we're all here. 604 00:34:43,639 --> 00:34:46,119 If you go against my wishes on this, 605 00:34:46,199 --> 00:34:47,800 if you go against the empress, 606 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,119 whom God has kept in power since she rose to the occasion, 607 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:55,199 you will be cast down to the depths of hell. 608 00:34:56,559 --> 00:35:01,840 White-hot waves of searing hellfire will crash over your body 609 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:07,320 and pour into your lungs, so that you boil alive from the inside out. 610 00:35:08,159 --> 00:35:13,000 Locusts will crawl up and into every orifice 611 00:35:13,079 --> 00:35:17,400 and wriggle through your mind, scratching behind your eyes. 612 00:35:18,159 --> 00:35:19,599 There will be no end. 613 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:21,719 There will be no beginning. 614 00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:25,679 There will be only suffering 615 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,840 as a knife slices at your Achilles' heel, 616 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:35,440 and a red-hot poker is rammed up your asshole 617 00:35:35,519 --> 00:35:39,280 on the hour, every hour, until... 618 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,000 Wait, there is no "until," 619 00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,280 because it will never end. 620 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,119 There is no time in hell. 621 00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:54,880 I might be wrong. 622 00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:57,480 Some of you might not get the poker thing, 623 00:35:57,559 --> 00:36:00,599 but best to be prepared for everything. 624 00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:04,400 Or you can do as he wishes 625 00:36:05,199 --> 00:36:07,440 and side with the empress 626 00:36:07,519 --> 00:36:10,639 as she does God's work for the good of Russia. 627 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:12,760 Your choice. 628 00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:15,159 Either way, 629 00:36:16,559 --> 00:36:18,000 he will know, 630 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,320 because he knows... 631 00:36:23,039 --> 00:36:24,920 everything. 632 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,440 - You look handsome. - Don't. 633 00:36:28,519 --> 00:36:29,800 And me? 634 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,360 - A real vision. - Thought so. 635 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,280 You can still screw me, you know. You should still screw me. 636 00:36:35,679 --> 00:36:39,039 - We are married. - I'm with Marial. I love her. 637 00:36:39,119 --> 00:36:40,920 I still screwed you when I screwed Peter. 638 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:42,239 Often in front of me. 639 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,559 Exactly, as I wanted you to feel we were in it together. 640 00:36:59,039 --> 00:37:00,920 - Husband. - Witch. 641 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:02,880 Thank you. 642 00:37:03,679 --> 00:37:07,480 Sometimes it is hard to be married. And then, when we dance... 643 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,639 - It is easy. - Indeed. 644 00:37:11,599 --> 00:37:12,880 Honestly, don't you feel better 645 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,360 for not having blood on your hands and soul tonight? 646 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,519 I do have a kind of peace about it, to be honest. 647 00:37:19,079 --> 00:37:20,400 Because for now... 648 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:22,760 I'm happy. 649 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:24,559 Exactly. 650 00:37:30,519 --> 00:37:32,840 Empress, I just wanted to say... 651 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,199 I saw you in trouble and I just felt like a way out was needed. 652 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,599 But I was giddy anyway from your boldness. 653 00:37:41,679 --> 00:37:44,599 - You faked the fit? - I thought I was very convincing. 654 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:49,519 - You are a good liar, it seems. - Thank you. 655 00:37:49,599 --> 00:37:51,679 I don't need you to trust me or be friends with me. 656 00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,440 In time, you'll see I'm there for you, for Russia. 657 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,199 And in my heart, I'll know I made a difference, and that is all I want. 658 00:37:58,679 --> 00:37:59,679 Right. 659 00:38:02,039 --> 00:38:03,639 - Kings! - Kings! 660 00:38:05,079 --> 00:38:06,599 For fuck's sake. 661 00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,559 - What? - Look, I need a fucking favor. 662 00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,000 Of course. 663 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,800 We have put each other's lemon tops in. 664 00:38:27,119 --> 00:38:30,480 Could you get me some medicine from Vinodel? It's not for me. 665 00:38:30,559 --> 00:38:31,480 Who for? 666 00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:34,519 It might be fun for you to meet, actually. 667 00:38:40,079 --> 00:38:42,400 Still don't understand. You didn't kill him? 668 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:44,239 - You weren't here. - You really weren't. 669 00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:45,840 You were very not here. 670 00:38:47,119 --> 00:38:49,480 It is a lot to get your head around, Simitz. 671 00:38:49,559 --> 00:38:52,519 Yes, I know, but I decided it was good husbanding to not kill him. 672 00:38:52,599 --> 00:38:54,760 Happy wife, happy life. Huzzah. 673 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,519 Why are you in this conversation, you crownless, blonde eunuch fuckhead? 674 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,559 It's the warmth with which I've been embraced that I love here. 675 00:39:01,639 --> 00:39:05,559 Simple answer, because kings get kings, over-rouged peasant woman. 676 00:39:06,079 --> 00:39:08,400 Peter, we will still kill him? 677 00:39:09,079 --> 00:39:12,400 I don't know. You know, maybe she's right and it doesn't matter. 678 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,280 Blood spilt now doesn't make the past disappear. 679 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:18,280 - The fuck it doesn't. - Agreed. Revenge must be taken. 680 00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,880 Can we just focus on the horse? Okay? 681 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,679 I need you to help me get the horse hard to fuck the other horse 682 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,400 to create a new superhorse that I will gift my son, and no one is doing it. 683 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,920 I could stare at it. That usually works. 684 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,000 I'll fix it, Peter. Trust me. 685 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,480 I need all our aphrodisiac. For the horse. 686 00:39:39,559 --> 00:39:42,480 - And how will you get hard? - Agnes, it hangs in the fucking balance. 687 00:39:42,559 --> 00:39:44,719 - Have we got a plan or not? - Yes. 688 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,239 And once again, how will you get hard for me? 689 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,960 I can do it, I promise. When I'm relaxed. 690 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,880 Winning Peter will get me hard. Trust me. 691 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,800 - Thought I smelled something nice. - It's you. That looks bad. 692 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,639 Bit infected. It'll be fine. Pugachev will outlive the cockroaches. 693 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:13,280 I'm Marial. 694 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,719 She'll steal some medicine for your back, and then I can go on top some nights. 695 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,639 That would be nice. For intimacy. 696 00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,760 She stabbed you. I wondered what had happened to you. 697 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,679 You must be the only one. Drink? 698 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,440 Do you want to come to a conference up there with me tomorrow? 699 00:40:27,519 --> 00:40:30,360 No, thanks. They'll probably finish me off if they see me. 700 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:32,920 - Fuckers. - Fuckers they are. 701 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,760 He's a fuckin' monster, and she's as bad. 702 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:36,760 - You want that drink? - I have no plans. 703 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,000 - You need to watch Hugo. - I am. 704 00:40:46,199 --> 00:40:47,880 What's with your "I love Catherine" game? 705 00:40:49,079 --> 00:40:53,159 No game. I truly believe in what she's trying to do here. 706 00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:55,360 As a woman, she will change everything for us. 707 00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,000 Fuck. That's good. 708 00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,440 I almost can't tell if you're lying until I remember it's you, 709 00:41:01,519 --> 00:41:02,480 and then I know you are. 710 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,800 - Peter has to kill Simitz. - I know. 711 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,559 - He won't be able to live with it. - I know. 712 00:41:11,559 --> 00:41:12,719 We have to help him. 713 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,960 Agreed. We should fuck, don't you think? 714 00:41:16,679 --> 00:41:17,719 No, I don't. 715 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:19,239 So cruel. 716 00:41:20,079 --> 00:41:21,920 Makes you even more attractive. 717 00:41:48,039 --> 00:41:49,280 Can't sleep? 718 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:52,960 - Can't sleep. - Me neither. 719 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,719 Maybe it's a sign that we should fuck. Not that we need a sign. 720 00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,320 We're so good at it, people should pay us to watch. 721 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,400 That's funny and true. But alas, no fucking. 722 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,000 Oh, go on, why not? 723 00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:07,559 She's always there now, in my bones, in my blood. 724 00:42:08,039 --> 00:42:09,599 Would feel strange. Would not fit. 725 00:42:09,679 --> 00:42:11,400 You can be two things at once, you know. 726 00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:14,599 You can fuck me and love her, and I can fuck you and be loyal to her. 727 00:42:14,679 --> 00:42:17,679 - It's not hard. - Being at war with yourself is hard. 728 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,480 Even now, I look at you in that dress 729 00:42:19,559 --> 00:42:20,960 and I remember the time I fucked you so hard 730 00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:22,400 that one of your earrings fell out and... 731 00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:28,320 - There's a slight pain in my chest. - So give into it and get inside of me. 732 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:30,119 No one needs to know. 733 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:32,960 I just don't want to. Not at all. 734 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:35,719 Fuck me. 735 00:42:37,079 --> 00:42:40,119 Everything I used to own now belongs to someone else. 736 00:42:41,159 --> 00:42:42,320 Me too. 737 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,920 Though you're still the girl I climbed a tree for. 738 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:48,840 You're still the boy I kicked a dog for. 739 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,760 I mean, he's got a skinful of the finest Swedish schlongful. 740 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:05,320 Schlongful? 741 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,159 - Just wait. Just wait. - Yeah? 742 00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:09,119 Come on. 743 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:14,639 - Grigor, I think Hugo has readied them. - I have indeed. 744 00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,079 Have you got anything you want to offer up pointlessly? 745 00:43:17,159 --> 00:43:18,159 Fuck off? 746 00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,400 A sad way of saying, "No, I don't have anything." 747 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,000 Saw Simitz last night. 748 00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:24,840 He was smirking when he walked past. 749 00:43:25,639 --> 00:43:27,360 - He what? - Smirking. 750 00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,280 And he made a fucking sound. 751 00:43:29,599 --> 00:43:30,519 He fucking what? 752 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:32,760 He's doing it! 753 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,039 We need to do this. We have a plan in play already. 754 00:43:35,119 --> 00:43:36,440 Fuck me, look at that. 755 00:43:36,519 --> 00:43:38,159 I can't keep dunking my head in water, can I? 756 00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,480 Peter. Peter, Peter, they're fucking! 757 00:43:40,559 --> 00:43:41,880 You definitely cannot. 758 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:44,400 And... 759 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:46,599 Done! 760 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:50,760 Amazing. Well done, Hugo. Grigor, let's go. 761 00:43:51,519 --> 00:43:53,960 - Where are we going? - It's a Russian thing. 762 00:43:54,039 --> 00:43:55,920 Thanks. Fuck off now, Hugo. 763 00:43:57,880 --> 00:43:59,079 I hate it here. 764 00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:04,280 Fuck! 765 00:44:08,199 --> 00:44:10,159 Hello. What do we think? 766 00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:11,880 See for yourself. 767 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:16,880 Morning. Enjoy the day. 768 00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:21,559 So now they're scared of you instead of the nobles? 769 00:44:21,639 --> 00:44:23,360 More God's wrath. 770 00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:28,119 Being clubbed to death by nobles is a light day compared to eternal damnation. 771 00:44:28,519 --> 00:44:31,280 So they will not be speaking freely, as you fucking terrified them. 772 00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:33,000 The merchants are yours. 773 00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,840 - What did you do? - Details, details. 774 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:39,360 Suffice to say, a new idea is in their blood. 775 00:44:40,559 --> 00:44:42,719 Right. I'll leave that alone. 776 00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,159 But I fear no one believes anything. 777 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,599 They are certainly against murder. 778 00:44:48,679 --> 00:44:50,960 - That I saw in his eyes. - We just played them. 779 00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,679 Are you saying, "Well done, and thank you very much"? 780 00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,119 - How I heard it. - Funny. Okay. 781 00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,960 The nobles are the unknown. They make up two-thirds. 782 00:45:02,079 --> 00:45:04,320 - What do you think? - I don't think. 783 00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:06,880 I prefer to know, and I know you don't know. 784 00:45:08,199 --> 00:45:10,480 So it is a risk to call the vote to a head. 785 00:45:10,559 --> 00:45:12,039 Beaver hunting? 786 00:45:12,119 --> 00:45:13,280 Also, what if I win, 787 00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:16,480 and we walk out of here and find my husband beheading Simitz? 788 00:45:16,559 --> 00:45:19,119 - Is that a win or a mockery? - You think he will? 789 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,000 I don't. But it is all a risk. 790 00:45:23,199 --> 00:45:24,119 So? 791 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:30,239 I love it when you're inscrutable. Makes things very dramatic. 792 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,800 What a rousing discussion we had yesterday. 793 00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:47,920 Huzzah. 794 00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:51,760 But it's time to move on to the first issue I wish to proclaim on. 795 00:45:53,039 --> 00:45:54,159 No murder, wasn't it? 796 00:45:56,039 --> 00:45:57,960 Much to say on that. 797 00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:02,800 We will now move on. That was a mere warm-up discussion. 798 00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:06,440 We will discuss it properly later, as I analyze the thoughts raised. Huzzah. 799 00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:08,119 Huzzah! 800 00:46:12,119 --> 00:46:16,719 Now, the first proclamation of the Nakaz to be voted on, 801 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,880 an exciting moment for all of us... 802 00:46:20,119 --> 00:46:23,079 I move that every village in Russia, 803 00:46:23,159 --> 00:46:26,639 no matter how big or small, rich or poor, 804 00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,960 will have their own monkey. 805 00:46:32,159 --> 00:46:34,480 - Yes! - Adorable. 806 00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:39,360 Let us vote. 807 00:46:47,519 --> 00:46:49,880 - Well, that should do. - You thinking throat or heart? 808 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,000 I'd always imagined eye whenever I thought about it. 809 00:46:53,079 --> 00:46:55,400 Eye. Nice. You see the startle close-up. 810 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:56,519 Exactly. 811 00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:58,280 But... 812 00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,000 - What if I didn't kill him? - It would make no sense. 813 00:47:03,079 --> 00:47:05,599 What if we just tied him to a tree, tortured him, 814 00:47:05,679 --> 00:47:06,960 let the animals fucking ravage him, 815 00:47:07,039 --> 00:47:12,760 and then come back each afternoon for a month and just hurt him, then left. 816 00:47:13,199 --> 00:47:15,480 - Seems time-consuming. - I suppose. 817 00:47:15,559 --> 00:47:19,840 She'll never know. We'll see to that. All marriages have secrets. 818 00:47:21,199 --> 00:47:22,679 - Yours? - No. 819 00:47:24,039 --> 00:47:26,559 Actually, no. Wish we did sometimes. 820 00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:35,480 Hello. 821 00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:38,239 I disappear, 822 00:47:39,199 --> 00:47:40,960 your wife will know you did it. 823 00:47:46,159 --> 00:47:47,719 Now you don't have to lie. 824 00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:49,400 You are a friend... 825 00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:52,719 but... 826 00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:26,440 You weren't the only ones he fucked with back then. 827 00:48:33,199 --> 00:48:36,719 - It's nice, the quiet after, isn't it? - It's the best part. 828 00:48:37,519 --> 00:48:40,239 - Sense of fucking peace is-- - Sublime. 829 00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,920 - Congratulations. - Marial, can you just not? 830 00:49:00,119 --> 00:49:03,440 Monkeys eat rats like bananas, 831 00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,920 so it is the step forward we dreamed of when we risked our lives 832 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,400 and planned the coup against your husband. 833 00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:11,840 Please go. 834 00:49:13,559 --> 00:49:14,960 I have something to say. 835 00:49:16,199 --> 00:49:19,119 Sorry, would you rather I not tell the truth the moment I have it to hand? 836 00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,440 Or are we not free to speak our minds in your court? 837 00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:26,000 Speak it if you are confident it is a mind worth revealing. 838 00:49:27,559 --> 00:49:29,400 Simitz wasn't there today. 839 00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:31,719 You notice that? 840 00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:37,599 You should go home. It's been a big day. 841 00:49:38,039 --> 00:49:41,239 No doubt your devoted husband is running you a bath. 842 00:49:41,559 --> 00:49:45,000 Bloodbath. It would be wittier if I wasn't always ahead of you. 843 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:04,480 - What a day. - Yes. 844 00:50:05,599 --> 00:50:06,599 You won. 845 00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:10,079 I suppose. 846 00:50:10,159 --> 00:50:12,760 Well, every town has a monkey. That is a win. 847 00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:19,599 You killed him. 848 00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:22,760 Grigor shot him. 849 00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:25,320 And you? 850 00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:32,320 You need to sleep. 851 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:51,920 Revised and Synchronized by FAST TITLES MEDIA