1 00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:07,398 [contemplative music playing] 2 00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,652 [chair creaking] 3 00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:51,877 [door opens] 4 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:55,229 -Ah. Morning. 5 00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:57,013 -[door closes] Good to your word. 6 00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:58,841 I thought you might have stopped our breakfasts 7 00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:01,931 as some sort of continuation of your brutality against me 8 00:01:02,105 --> 00:01:03,585 from the other day. 9 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,239 -I lost my way a little. 10 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:07,806 I am back, reason itself. 11 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,547 -Apology accepted. 12 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,375 -And yet not actually given. 13 00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,160 -Hello, Paul. 14 00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:14,987 Can we go see how the nursery is coming along today? 15 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:18,295 -Under guard. Yes. -Hmm. 16 00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,471 Exciting. 17 00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:23,300 -Sort of unimaginable, this, in here, 18 00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:26,042 will be a walking, talking being. 19 00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:28,697 -Also, a singing, dancing, hunting, and fucking one. 20 00:01:28,871 --> 00:01:32,266 -Or reading, writing, philosophizing, philanthropic one. 21 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,877 -Hmm. Well, he will be extraordinary. 22 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,966 -Ah. We finally agree. 23 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:40,274 -It must be strange, a human creature inside you. 24 00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:43,886 Do you ever think, "What if he has a knife?" Hmm? 25 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:46,976 -I never do. -Mm. 26 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:50,936 -It does rush one with intense feelings of all kinds, though. 27 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,809 -This fucking apricot is rushing me with intense feeling. 28 00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:56,116 Close your eyes and imagine 29 00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,944 you are eating the softest, ripest pussy. 30 00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:00,555 -I... 31 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,426 probably won'’t do that. 32 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,647 I'’m actually late for my Diderot breakfast. 33 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:11,087 [playful orchestral theme playing] 34 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:23,969 -I believe we can create a great nation 35 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,755 to rival France. 36 00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:31,412 We can have our own philosophers who boldly think the unthought, 37 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,328 scientists who discover the unimaginable. 38 00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:37,679 We must learn from the best these countries have to offer 39 00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:41,465 and sally forth to a new Russia on their shoulders. 40 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:45,469 So... let us discuss the Diderot pamphlet you all were to read. 41 00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,254 First thoughts? 42 00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:53,738 We are rebuilding Russia, and I wish you to be steeped 43 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:56,393 in these enlightened ideas as I am, 44 00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:59,004 for that is the soil we plant our Russia in. 45 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:03,052 So, any ideas at all in the pamphlet which spoke to you. 46 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,579 -If I may? CATHERINE: Of course. 47 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,799 Archbishop of Court, Basil. 48 00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:12,975 -[softly]: Fucker. -Him? 49 00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:14,585 -Her. 50 00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:17,501 BASIL: Diderot has not much time for priests, 51 00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:20,983 but I am forgiving of anyone bringing truth. 52 00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:24,291 God, ideas, vodka... 53 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:25,248 [courtier chuckles] 54 00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,424 ...all elevate the soul. 55 00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:28,947 Huzzah! 56 00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:30,340 ALL: Huzzah! 57 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:31,776 CATHERINE: Huzzah, indeed! 58 00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,561 Who else? 59 00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:41,830 Raskolvy? 60 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:44,049 -Yes, marvelous. 61 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,835 -What was, in particular? 62 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,532 -The pamphlet. 63 00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:50,491 Generally and particularly. 64 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,884 -E-Everyone read it, did they not? 65 00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:54,886 [embarrassed murmuring] 66 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:58,194 A freewheeling discourse can be a giddying thing. 67 00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:03,982 -I have something. 68 00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,680 -You do? 69 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,812 -It is entitled Thoughts of an Ex-Emperor. 70 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,379 -What'’s this? 71 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,381 -"As I lay here in my imprisonment, 72 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,340 "I think often of the court 73 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,167 "and how much I love them. 74 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:19,868 "Who can remember the pig and hazelnut orgy of 1756? 75 00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:21,913 The court slept for days after, 76 00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:24,873 slick with pig fat and empty nuts." 77 00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:26,309 -Shut him down. 78 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:28,093 -I asked them to share their thoughts. 79 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,747 -Not Peter'’s thoughts. 80 00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:32,097 -"I remember when the influenza bug swept the court. 81 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,186 "I immediately ordered every vapor bowl 82 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,014 to be filled with Scottish whisky. 83 00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:37,929 "We managed to enjoy our sickness 84 00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:39,888 and several babies were conceived that very night." 85 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,368 [courtiers laughing] 86 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,587 -Thank you, Grigor. We shall move on. 87 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,415 -Uh, well, I thank you for 88 00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:47,243 the freedom of expression you have allowed to flower. 89 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,463 I will place some around the court 90 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,595 for your reading pleasure. 91 00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:53,771 Huzzah! To Catherine! 92 00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:55,469 COURTIERS: Huzzah! 93 00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:04,391 -Grigor. What was that? 94 00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:06,044 -Ah, I just thought it would be fun. 95 00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,003 I didn'’t have any of my own thoughts, so-- 96 00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:10,266 -Get some! Read Diderot. 97 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,877 -I will. -Did Peter put you up to this? 98 00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,534 -Between us, he suffers. 99 00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,057 He is missing the court. 100 00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:20,668 I thought it might be a bit of harmless fun. 101 00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,974 I could report back the court was amused. 102 00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,715 -It might be good they remember him. 103 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:27,457 The nightmare should not recede in people'’s minds. 104 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,939 -I don'’t like it. Don'’t do it again. 105 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:33,724 -Understood. 106 00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:35,465 -You did not go with Georgina? 107 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:38,642 -No. 108 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,514 -You were banished with her. 109 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:44,431 -I ask, Your Grace, to remain. 110 00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:46,128 -You chose to stay? 111 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,130 -I... 112 00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,785 couldn'’t leave him. 113 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:53,091 -At least you realized who you loved. 114 00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:58,227 -I mean, I don'’t get it. 115 00:05:58,401 --> 00:05:59,576 I suppose some might find him 116 00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,839 handsome in that sort of general, 117 00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:05,103 symmetrical features, and deep brown eyes sort of way, 118 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:08,716 but... I'’m sure people will see through him soon enough. 119 00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,066 Can you kill him? 120 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,808 -No. She'’d immediately suspect me. 121 00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,376 Besides, he seems a simple fellow. 122 00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:19,596 A pawn in her much larger game. 123 00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:21,859 -I know that look. 124 00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:23,165 Don'’t you fucking dare. 125 00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,472 No plots to crush my best friend. 126 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:27,604 -I thought I was your best friend? 127 00:06:27,778 --> 00:06:29,824 -You are also, which makes this awfully difficult for me, 128 00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,869 so let'’s think about me in this. 129 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:33,305 -She is backing me into a corner, 130 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,003 and you know how I hate that. 131 00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:36,787 -No, no, no... 132 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:40,835 She is stubborn, yes, but she is also brilliant. 133 00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,663 If you found a way to work with her, 134 00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:44,882 she would listen in ways Peter never did. 135 00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:48,016 You both love boring conversations, and even more boring books. 136 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,410 You should get on well. -Are you finished? 137 00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:52,803 -No. It would also make me very happy, 138 00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,719 which should be everyone'’s top priority, really. 139 00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:59,331 -I'’m done with this little experiment. 140 00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:01,595 TATYANA: Agree entirely. 141 00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,466 She treated you badly. 142 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,860 -Can we just kill her now, then? -No, we cannot. 143 00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:09,298 Grigor read my pamphlet, that is the first part of the plan. 144 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,343 -And killing her is the second part? -No, Arkady! 145 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:12,954 Her failing is the first part, 146 00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:15,260 me helping her do that is the second part, 147 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,828 and being together and in love with a not-dead Catherine 148 00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:18,829 is the third part. 149 00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,614 Fuck me, can you listen? 150 00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:22,093 ARKADY: Apologies. 151 00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:23,355 [Peter groans] 152 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,619 -The women were slick with want 153 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:28,360 and the men hungry for your return to power. 154 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,232 -I'’m a good time. Good to remind them. 155 00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:32,103 -You will win back the court. 156 00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,410 -I never lost the court. I lost the throne. 157 00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:36,934 And I didn'’t lose it, I lent it temporarily. 158 00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:39,937 What is your point? Because so far, I hate it. 159 00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:42,244 -I don'’t really have a point. 160 00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,942 Other than, we must raise you back up! 161 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:47,423 I thought the harsh treatment she gave you, 162 00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:50,513 the kicking, the locking in, the destruction of Mommy... 163 00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:51,993 it is not on! 164 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,256 -I will tell you a strange thing. 165 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:55,823 Her ruthlessness just makes me see 166 00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,042 how perfect we are together. 167 00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,218 As they were kicking the shit out of me, 168 00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,090 I looked up and into her eyes, 169 00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:04,527 and the cold blue of it made me shiver 170 00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,747 in a sexual way I have not known. 171 00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:12,100 Well, if you flinch, it'’s going to screw up the trajectory! 172 00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:13,318 That one'’s your fault. 173 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,016 -Apologies. 174 00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:18,367 -She trapped me in my rooms like a prisoner. 175 00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,761 No one should have that power over me, even if I love them. 176 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:23,285 Unless, of course, I'’ve granted it to them in sexual sport, 177 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:24,852 which I once did with George. 178 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:27,202 She then came to me wet as spring rain 179 00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:29,030 and bent over the desk, 180 00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:31,641 and I fucked her with such savagery it frightened me. 181 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:34,122 And yet after she whispered to me so softly, 182 00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:35,645 "Thank you." 183 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,300 It was very sweet. 184 00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:40,041 Are you missing her, Grigor? 185 00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:43,392 -I don'’t know, I'’m still immersed in your story. 186 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,394 -Eh, it'’s how I tell them. 187 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:46,961 Yeah, her party was a failure. 188 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,789 I'’ll have a party. 189 00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:51,139 Everyone loved my parties almost as much as they loved me. 190 00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:52,749 -Absolutely. -[soldier groans] 191 00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,490 -A wonderful plan, 192 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,013 only slightly dampened by the fact 193 00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:57,885 of your exile in your apartments 194 00:08:58,059 --> 00:09:00,365 and no one, apart from us, are actually allowed to visit. 195 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,846 -I will not continue to share my grand visions with you 196 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:06,676 if you act like piddling sticklers over minor details. 197 00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:13,683 -Your meeting with the Ottoman ambassador is, uh... 198 00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:15,511 I'’m sorry, it'’s very odd to speak to you 199 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,382 when you'’re seated like that. 200 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,949 -It'’s very odd to feel your lungs 201 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,908 being crushed like an accordion into your throat 202 00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:24,389 by a foreign invading creature who has taken over your body. 203 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:28,176 So we must all adjust to some degree of oddness, don'’t you agree? 204 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:31,179 -Ambassador Sunduk arrives today. 205 00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,964 -What the fuck is that smell? 206 00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,662 -Leeches, to alleviate the pressure 207 00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:38,229 on her lower pelvic region. 208 00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,275 -Oh, right. Of course. 209 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:41,972 Sorry. 210 00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:45,193 -I appreciate you all adjusting so uncomplainingly 211 00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:47,064 to what must be so difficult 212 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,327 and inconvenient for entire minutes of your day. 213 00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:50,851 -Dirt? 214 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:52,592 -Yes. 215 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:58,293 VELEMENTOV: The Ottomans will never come round to you leading Russia. 216 00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:01,209 They believe a woman'’s place is on a man'’s face. 217 00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:03,864 -You'’re wrong. They view cunnilingus as a mortal sin. 218 00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,430 They call it the Devil'’s Lunch. 219 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,215 -And yet it is, of course, a fabulous meal 220 00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:09,739 any time of night or day. 221 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:10,827 -[Catherine chuckles] 222 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:12,873 The ambassador will meet me 223 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:15,745 and be charmed, and love me, like everyone does. 224 00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,574 -Absolutely. And Sunduk is a worldly man, 225 00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:22,143 speaks seven languages, a legend among diplomats. 226 00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,841 -This whole meeting is pointless. 227 00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:26,800 Ever since you'’ve come into power, 228 00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:30,499 the Ottomans have encroached on our border regions. 229 00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:33,371 Attack first, show strength. 230 00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:37,114 -Or I will show intelligence and reason 231 00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:38,725 and help them see what great friends 232 00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:40,857 our empires can be to one another. 233 00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:44,600 Recall our greater aims, Velementov. 234 00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:46,210 War is not one of them. 235 00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:47,821 ORLO: Indeed. 236 00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:50,084 A reminder that I am sure you don'’t need, 237 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:52,260 but it'’s about presenting a front 238 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:55,829 to the Ottomans of stability and reason. 239 00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:58,745 And of course, Velementov and I will be there to share the load. 240 00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:01,922 -My dear, you are a blossom 241 00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,533 that has never grown in this garden before. 242 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:08,058 No need to twist and turn your glory 243 00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,670 to impress a man who cannot see. 244 00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:12,367 -Are you almost done, Elizabeth? 245 00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,238 -I agree we don'’t need to impress, 246 00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:15,805 other than by attacking, 247 00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:18,590 with a plan of such elegance and violence, 248 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,419 they will weep at their foolishness at goading me. 249 00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,074 -Are you sucking on a nail? 250 00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:27,077 -I am, and I will not be shamed. 251 00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,079 -Certainly not, for the sense of shame 252 00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:32,082 could be transmitted to the baby. 253 00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,215 I have met with the Sultan. -Really? 254 00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:36,086 -We were actually in a meeting. 255 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:38,045 I'’m sure this is a great story for a luncheon, but-- 256 00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:39,916 -Peter the Great took me with him 257 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,397 to Constantinople for meetings. 258 00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:43,877 One night at dinner, 259 00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:46,270 Peter the Great was out of the room. 260 00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:48,316 I reached for some cake, 261 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,971 and the Sultan grabbed my hand, 262 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:54,714 bit it hard, and spat in my face. 263 00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,672 Said some strange word, 264 00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,631 which I believe translated means "pig slut." 265 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,982 -Pig slut? Are you serious? 266 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,027 -Apparently, women could only get cake 267 00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:06,334 after the horses had their fill. 268 00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:08,031 ORLO: It is the culture. 269 00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:09,729 Men lead. 270 00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:13,297 That is why it is best I lead the negotiations. 271 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,300 -I have a better idea. 272 00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:18,346 ORLO: This is a bad idea. 273 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,304 It is an insult to them. 274 00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:22,306 -If it precipitates war, I'’m all for it. 275 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,092 -What a surprising position for you to take. 276 00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:27,442 [foreboding music playing] 277 00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:47,157 [door slams] 278 00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:52,380 -Ambassador Sunduk. SUNDUK: Empress. 279 00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:54,121 Such an honor to meet you. 280 00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:02,477 I am confused. 281 00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:04,261 -That my chief advisors are women? 282 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,307 -Yes. That it is not Orlo. 283 00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,962 -Yes. Well, I do still have an integral role here. 284 00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:12,008 It'’s mostly an odd seating arrangement issue. 285 00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:13,836 SUNDUK: It is something of an insult. 286 00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:17,448 Hmm. This arrangement. 287 00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,973 ARCHIE: Really? We actually love it. 288 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:23,019 God is everywhere, so sidelining the Church to the wall 289 00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,586 is no insult at all. 290 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:29,852 -Diplomacy is the art of neutral approach, 291 00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:36,076 of delicacy to other people'’s feelings for the... 292 00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,513 ease of relations. 293 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,996 -Thanks for explaining. -Something I already knew. 294 00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:46,913 -I view diplomacy as a clearing of old prejudices, 295 00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,697 so that a new understanding can come forth 296 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:51,395 between our two great empires. 297 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,658 -That'’s my view. 298 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,225 -These Ottoman encroachments 299 00:13:55,399 --> 00:13:56,923 on our border regions will end immediately. 300 00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:58,925 SUNDUK: Local warlords. 301 00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,971 Unfortunately, nothing the Sultan or I can do about it. 302 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:06,062 You know how it is, running these big empires. 303 00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:07,847 Fringe groups. 304 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:09,283 -Pillaging Russian villages 305 00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:11,111 could be construed as an act of war. 306 00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,852 -I hardly think it'’s that serious. 307 00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,375 -You'’re not living in the villages, are you? 308 00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:17,682 -Velementov. Hankering for war, no doubt. 309 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:21,512 -To defend Russia. -After the Swedish debacle? 310 00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:23,906 -I'’m sure the Sultan has sufficient strength 311 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,952 to hold his regions together. 312 00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:27,779 -A woman questioning the Sultan'’s powers? 313 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:30,913 -She has a biting intelligence, our Empress. 314 00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,697 He should appreciate it. 315 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:33,916 -[door opens] -Indeed. 316 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,613 Ah! [snaps fingers] 317 00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:38,007 The Sultan has sent a gift for the baby. 318 00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:41,489 We are aware of your love of horses. 319 00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:44,709 -How dare you! -You rude piece of shit! 320 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:49,149 [laughing] 321 00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:51,412 [Sunduk laughs] 322 00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,936 [Catherine continues laughing] 323 00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:55,895 -Thank you so much. [giggles] 324 00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:58,158 What an incredibly thoughtful gift. 325 00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:01,161 -It is good to see a German with a sense of humor. 326 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:02,814 -I consider myself Russian 327 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,774 and always willing to find a path of peace 328 00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,297 rather than rage. 329 00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:10,561 -Unusual, for both Russians and Germans, 330 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:14,522 but you seem an exquisite anomaly in all categories. 331 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:18,918 -God graced us with a leader who defies all categorization. 332 00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:22,182 -Oh, Archie! I completely forgot you were here. 333 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,879 So far away. 334 00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:26,099 -Will you have dinner with me tonight? 335 00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:27,491 -I would love to. 336 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:30,712 -Ah. A feast has been prepared, 337 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:33,628 with anchovies, served fried, grilled, baked, souped, stewed, 338 00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,325 steamed, smoked and salted. 339 00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,893 Twenty-seven different kinds of pilaf, 340 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,808 and for dessert, ashure. 341 00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,592 -What a treat. 342 00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:44,291 My country'’s delicacies but prepared by foreigners. 343 00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,336 Thank you, Orlo. 344 00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:50,340 I trust it will be just me and the Empress? 345 00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,126 -Of course. 346 00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:03,223 [door slams] 347 00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:04,659 -He liked me, Orlo. 348 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,922 We can do a deal. Did you not think? 349 00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:09,098 -I did. It'’s fucking annoying. 350 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:11,231 -We definitely offended him. 351 00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:14,190 -I can tell he'’s smarter than that. 352 00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,324 -Empress, a word? 353 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:19,543 -All right. My word is no. 354 00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,284 -Ah, off to a good start. 355 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,286 I forgot something in the State Room. 356 00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:25,897 If you'’ll excuse me before I have to make up what it is. 357 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,465 -Empress, such steady leadership! 358 00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:32,034 Your handling of the ambassador was a lesson in diplomacy and-- 359 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:35,298 -What is it? -About Basil. 360 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:39,128 -He is here to stay. -Yes, of course. 361 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:41,478 And I am thrilled he is to be working with us. 362 00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:43,002 -What? 363 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,786 -The demands on my time are great 364 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,744 and though his presence here was initially a shock, 365 00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:48,268 I'’ve realized I would be glad to share 366 00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,618 my vision for the church with him. 367 00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:52,620 -What is your game here, Archie? 368 00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,317 -No game. 369 00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:57,277 Just, um, a reevaluation. 370 00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,844 It'’s exhausting, this conflict, 371 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,804 and I fear it will lead Russia down a dark path. 372 00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:04,719 -And you to an early grave. 373 00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:07,852 -And Marial seems to think we can settle it. 374 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,159 -Uncharacteristically optimistic of her. 375 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:14,381 -Is it not a sign, perhaps, that we are both her closest friends? 376 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,644 -Mm, I don'’t think so. 377 00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:19,908 Marial also likes to eat sheep brains in cream. 378 00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:24,478 Sometimes I must forgive her, her bad taste, and move on. 379 00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,219 -I hold out my hand in friendship. 380 00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:28,656 I do not want to close it into a fist. 381 00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:30,179 -Is that a threat? 382 00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:33,530 -A desperate plea for peace between us. 383 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,228 -Oh, funny. 384 00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,320 [Svenska moaning] 385 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:41,843 -Oh! Oh! 386 00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:43,410 [Velementov sighs] 387 00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:47,849 [sighs] 388 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,852 -Oh. 389 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:52,201 Gosh. 390 00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,116 -[sighs] Indeed. 391 00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:59,513 I must say I was a tad surprised at your interest. I... 392 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:01,993 -Shot my husband in the head at close range? 393 00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:05,649 -Yes. -It is strange, 394 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:09,697 but I found myself daydreaming of fucking you often since. 395 00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:11,525 -It is a strange grief, 396 00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:14,136 anger at my idiot husband for getting himself killed. 397 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,530 -I decided to give into it. 398 00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:18,097 -I see. 399 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,969 Well, I'’m grateful. 400 00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:22,971 You are... 401 00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:24,625 -Beautiful and a great fuck. 402 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:25,843 I know. 403 00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:28,585 -Exactly. 404 00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:33,112 -It is a new day for all of us, a new court. 405 00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:35,810 How is she to work for? 406 00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:37,681 -She is extraordinary. 407 00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:41,032 Of course, she is a woman and slower to fight than some, 408 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:44,862 but... I bow to her brilliance. 409 00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,821 -My husband said you were brilliant, 410 00:18:46,995 --> 00:18:49,215 constantly stymied by Peter. 411 00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:51,652 I hope you have free rein this time. 412 00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,349 -The Ottomans would be formidable. 413 00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,743 -The Ottomans? We'’re to war with the Ottomans? 414 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,788 -No, no, no, no. 415 00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,529 Don'’t, don'’t, don'’t trouble your pretty little hea-- 416 00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:02,315 -Don'’t pat my fucking hands. I'’m not a dog. 417 00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:05,535 Are we to war or not? You owe me something. 418 00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,798 You killed my fucking husband, prick. 419 00:19:07,972 --> 00:19:11,541 -Whoa, whoa, what is this storm? 420 00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:14,936 We met the Ottoman ambassador today, prick. 421 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:20,376 I think she has him in hand, but it hangs in the balance. 422 00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:22,335 -Indeed. 423 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:24,511 [frog ribbiting] 424 00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:32,475 -I will cook that thing in garlic butter one day. 425 00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:35,261 -Are we almost done? I have a great deal to do. 426 00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,872 -My dear, you seem quite overwrought. 427 00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:40,179 -Bloating and embarrassment are side effects of pregnancy. 428 00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:41,571 It'’s quite normal. 429 00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:43,269 -I'’m agitated. 430 00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:46,185 This dinner with the Ottoman, much rides on it. 431 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,231 I know how I must behave, and yet... 432 00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:53,931 pregnancy has brought a surfeit of physical sensations. 433 00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:55,933 They overwhelm. 434 00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:57,892 -This amount of agitation is quite serious. 435 00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:00,895 It can cause the baby to explode in the womb. 436 00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:02,810 You must have a release. 437 00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:05,160 -Self-pleasure is allowed in pregnancy, 438 00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:08,250 but I would have to be standing by to watch. 439 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,296 -Is that essential? 440 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:13,212 -Probably not as essential as I'’m making it sound. 441 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,517 -If you won'’t fuck Sunduk, 442 00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:16,998 you should just fuck someone else. 443 00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:18,869 -I am happy to service the Empress. 444 00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:21,655 My knowledge of anatomy makes me a skilled lover. 445 00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:23,265 -Intriguing. 446 00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:26,312 -Kind offer, Vinodel, but you may leave us. 447 00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:28,009 -Okay. 448 00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,620 Call me when you feel the need for masturbation. 449 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:33,493 -I won'’t. Good day. 450 00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:38,541 -It'’s time we got you properly fucked, 451 00:20:38,715 --> 00:20:40,500 for the health of the baby. 452 00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:43,677 -I'’m the Empress. 453 00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:46,854 It'’s not so simple to find someone. 454 00:20:47,028 --> 00:20:50,379 I fuck the doctor, he drunkenly tells his friends. 455 00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:53,121 Then I am Slutress, not Empress. 456 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,992 A soldier, he wants a promotion. 457 00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:57,821 A noble, he wants land and tax relief. 458 00:20:57,995 --> 00:21:00,041 -All true, but there is a solution. 459 00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:01,782 Nothing could be simpler. 460 00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:03,610 Guards. 461 00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:05,960 -Guards? -It'’s a tradition. 462 00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:08,658 They have been trained in discretion for centuries. 463 00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:10,878 Also, they have to do whatever you want, 464 00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:13,446 no matter how exotic or primordial. 465 00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:15,839 They won'’t bat an eye. 466 00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:18,842 -I'’m not looking for someone who isn'’t in a position to refuse me. 467 00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:20,279 -Really? 468 00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:24,108 I find power imbalances wildly erotic. 469 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,285 I suppose I'’m old-fashioned that way. 470 00:21:33,161 --> 00:21:36,512 -Svenska has news and has paid a heavy price to get it. 471 00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:38,340 [door closes] 472 00:21:38,514 --> 00:21:39,907 -Catherine and Velementov worry 473 00:21:40,081 --> 00:21:42,039 about the Ottomans starting something. 474 00:21:42,213 --> 00:21:44,085 The ambassador met with her today 475 00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:47,915 and she hopes to win him to her club of gibbering acolytes. 476 00:21:48,089 --> 00:21:49,612 It was unclear if she had. 477 00:21:49,786 --> 00:21:52,398 -Perhaps, Sunduk needs to be led to an understanding 478 00:21:52,572 --> 00:21:55,792 of what he should report back about his visit here. 479 00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:58,621 The Sultan has some strange beliefs about women. 480 00:21:58,795 --> 00:22:01,189 -You refer to the "some are witches with horns" belief. 481 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:03,104 -Exactly. 482 00:22:03,278 --> 00:22:05,541 His belief in witches who feast on men'’s nosebleeds, 483 00:22:05,715 --> 00:22:07,456 witches who keep chickens 484 00:22:07,630 --> 00:22:10,329 that turn into devils when urinated upon. 485 00:22:10,503 --> 00:22:12,809 -You'’re making this too complicated and weird. 486 00:22:12,983 --> 00:22:14,724 Sunduk is a sweet guy who loves me. 487 00:22:14,898 --> 00:22:17,118 I remind him of that love, and we make sure he knows 488 00:22:17,292 --> 00:22:18,859 Catherine is not long for the throne. 489 00:22:19,033 --> 00:22:20,948 -He does love blondes, though. -Mm. 490 00:22:21,122 --> 00:22:22,384 And she is the most exquisite creature alive, 491 00:22:22,558 --> 00:22:24,212 how can anyone not love her? 492 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:27,084 -I just don'’t see it personally. -Good answer, darling. 493 00:22:27,258 --> 00:22:30,131 -All right. Let'’s act on Sunduk. But let me just say this to all. 494 00:22:30,305 --> 00:22:34,222 We unbalance her, but never hurt or endanger her, understood? 495 00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:36,790 Subtlety, we can do that, right? 496 00:22:36,964 --> 00:22:38,357 -Subtlety is my middle name. 497 00:22:38,531 --> 00:22:40,359 -I thought it was Levushka? 498 00:22:42,012 --> 00:22:43,753 -What a morning. 499 00:22:43,927 --> 00:22:49,193 First, the Diderot breakfast, and then the Sunduk dessert. 500 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,413 -I think my speech at the end was good. 501 00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:52,762 It roused them, I feel. 502 00:22:52,936 --> 00:22:54,721 MARIAL: Hmm. 503 00:22:54,895 --> 00:22:56,375 CATHERINE: Hmm? 504 00:22:56,549 --> 00:22:58,812 It was an inspiring call to arms. 505 00:22:58,986 --> 00:23:00,553 -Well, I think they more heard your, 506 00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:02,555 "Shit, why can'’t you be French?" 507 00:23:03,643 --> 00:23:04,905 -No. No, it was-- 508 00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:07,734 -Sorry, my overly dark interpretation. 509 00:23:07,908 --> 00:23:11,302 On another topic: that Basil guy, what a cunt. 510 00:23:11,477 --> 00:23:14,349 You should probably send him home or just kill him if it'’s easier. 511 00:23:14,523 --> 00:23:16,133 -Oh? What makes you say that, I wonder? 512 00:23:16,307 --> 00:23:19,615 -Did you know that he can write with both hands? 513 00:23:19,789 --> 00:23:21,704 Raskolvy says it is an omen, 514 00:23:21,878 --> 00:23:23,837 and he has extra skin on his elbows, 515 00:23:24,011 --> 00:23:26,274 which portends doom for crops, 516 00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:28,972 and also is quite disconcerting to look at. 517 00:23:29,146 --> 00:23:31,366 -I sense you aim to protect Archie. 518 00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:34,543 -He is a kinder and much saner option 519 00:23:34,717 --> 00:23:36,545 for the leader of the church. 520 00:23:36,719 --> 00:23:38,373 -I suggest you keep your fingers 521 00:23:38,547 --> 00:23:40,070 out of the machinery of this issue lest you lose them. 522 00:23:40,244 --> 00:23:41,724 -Right. 523 00:23:45,554 --> 00:23:48,992 [serene music playing] 524 00:23:56,739 --> 00:23:59,002 [door opens] 525 00:24:01,048 --> 00:24:03,920 GUARD: Room'’s clear. You can go in. 526 00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:08,447 -Ah. Uh, what color do you think? Hmm? 527 00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:10,971 -Not sure. 528 00:24:11,145 --> 00:24:12,538 -I say each wall different. 529 00:24:12,712 --> 00:24:14,365 You know, green for the love of nature. 530 00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:17,194 That one will be yellow for the sunshine of a new day, 531 00:24:17,368 --> 00:24:19,806 then this one dark red as blood for his future. 532 00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:22,722 Then one, whatever the color of crispy pork is, 533 00:24:22,896 --> 00:24:26,552 or one wall this color. 534 00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:30,077 -Ouch. Sorry again. 535 00:24:30,251 --> 00:24:32,035 -Not at all. It'’s excruciating, 536 00:24:32,209 --> 00:24:34,908 but I'’m thinking of things to distract me from the pain. 537 00:24:35,082 --> 00:24:37,084 Paul, mostly. Hello, Paul. 538 00:24:37,258 --> 00:24:38,912 -Sweet. 539 00:24:39,086 --> 00:24:41,436 -And on that, I think we should have a baby shower. 540 00:24:41,610 --> 00:24:43,394 What? No. 541 00:24:43,569 --> 00:24:45,701 -Russians love them. The court will be happy. 542 00:24:45,875 --> 00:24:48,182 People want to shower us with gifts. 543 00:24:48,356 --> 00:24:50,140 Hence, baby shower. 544 00:24:50,314 --> 00:24:52,752 -No. -Of course. 545 00:24:54,101 --> 00:24:55,363 Ah. 546 00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:58,235 Ah, they really went for the kidneys. 547 00:24:58,409 --> 00:25:01,325 -Fine. We'’ll have a baby shower. 548 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,893 -Ah. I'’ll plan it, as you are terrible at throwing parties. 549 00:25:04,067 --> 00:25:06,417 -Great. And I will be busy running the country, 550 00:25:06,592 --> 00:25:09,551 as you were terrible doing that. 551 00:25:09,725 --> 00:25:10,944 This pamphlet of yours. 552 00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:12,902 -Oh, good, you read it. -I did not. 553 00:25:13,076 --> 00:25:14,948 Grigor hijacked my breakfast with it. 554 00:25:15,122 --> 00:25:17,124 -Huh. I will talk to him. 555 00:25:17,298 --> 00:25:20,257 He likes to be loved, and no doubt imagined my musings 556 00:25:20,431 --> 00:25:23,130 would entertain and reflect well on him. 557 00:25:23,304 --> 00:25:26,525 He has lost George, so be sympathetic to him. 558 00:25:27,351 --> 00:25:29,179 -What was its purpose? 559 00:25:29,353 --> 00:25:32,443 -I was bored, and then I thought for Paul, you know, my memoirs, 560 00:25:32,618 --> 00:25:34,402 but told like a bedtime story, 561 00:25:34,576 --> 00:25:37,057 and then I thought maybe the court would be interested. 562 00:25:37,231 --> 00:25:38,493 -You miss their attention. 563 00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:41,278 Terrified as it was. 564 00:25:41,452 --> 00:25:44,368 I could have all your pamphlets seized and burned. 565 00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:47,720 -You believe in freedom of the printing press, how would it look? 566 00:25:48,851 --> 00:25:50,766 Although, I see an... 567 00:25:50,940 --> 00:25:53,160 What'’s it called? That thing where I did something to you, 568 00:25:53,334 --> 00:25:55,989 you were morally outraged, then you did it back to me? 569 00:25:56,163 --> 00:25:57,773 -Irony. -Ah. 570 00:25:57,947 --> 00:26:00,950 Or ironiein French. 571 00:26:01,124 --> 00:26:02,386 -That was good. 572 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,693 -Oh. Merci beaucoup. Lessons. 573 00:26:07,478 --> 00:26:11,178 Ah. I made this for Paul using parts from real bears. 574 00:26:15,182 --> 00:26:17,227 [women gasping] 575 00:26:18,968 --> 00:26:22,015 -You okay? -Fine, thanks for asking. 576 00:26:22,189 --> 00:26:23,625 -You seem a bit unsure. 577 00:26:23,799 --> 00:26:25,496 -No, no, it'’s great, I just, uh... 578 00:26:25,671 --> 00:26:28,021 been a while with anyone. 579 00:26:28,195 --> 00:26:29,413 -No one could ever understand 580 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:31,024 why you never fucked around on George. 581 00:26:31,198 --> 00:26:33,374 -Well, I-- You know, I am... 582 00:26:35,158 --> 00:26:37,247 -Your cock'’s not actually in me. 583 00:26:37,421 --> 00:26:38,901 -Yeah, no offense. 584 00:26:39,075 --> 00:26:41,948 I just... finding it a bit weird, to be honest. 585 00:26:42,122 --> 00:26:44,603 -Ah! Sunduk, my old friend. 586 00:26:44,777 --> 00:26:46,779 Wonderful to see you again. 587 00:26:46,953 --> 00:26:49,129 -And you! -What the fuck? 588 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,916 -Well, I'’m pretty well. I'’m going to be a dad. 589 00:26:54,090 --> 00:26:55,091 -Congratulations. 590 00:26:55,265 --> 00:26:57,311 I was-- Oh. 591 00:27:00,270 --> 00:27:02,142 [sighs] 592 00:27:03,056 --> 00:27:05,014 Very nice, thank you. 593 00:27:05,188 --> 00:27:06,537 -You'’re welcome. 594 00:27:07,843 --> 00:27:09,802 -So what happened to you? The coup? 595 00:27:09,976 --> 00:27:12,674 -I was basically winning. At any point I could have won. 596 00:27:12,848 --> 00:27:14,197 And then I got really hungry. 597 00:27:14,371 --> 00:27:15,895 You know when you'’re really hungry, 598 00:27:16,069 --> 00:27:18,245 and it'’s just like, "I just need to eat, 599 00:27:18,419 --> 00:27:20,160 and I don'’t care what it takes"? 600 00:27:20,334 --> 00:27:23,772 So I temporarily abdicated, but I am coming back to power. 601 00:27:23,946 --> 00:27:26,079 As is my destiny and the will of God, 602 00:27:26,253 --> 00:27:28,559 which I know you people take seriously. 603 00:27:28,734 --> 00:27:31,780 -Yes, we'’ve, uh, always seen you as God'’s will, 604 00:27:31,954 --> 00:27:34,609 but now we'’re a little confused by God'’s actions. 605 00:27:34,783 --> 00:27:37,090 -Well, obviously it'’s his will I regain the throne, 606 00:27:37,264 --> 00:27:38,961 otherwise why would I still be alive? 607 00:27:39,135 --> 00:27:40,441 -I don'’t know. 608 00:27:40,615 --> 00:27:42,269 I meant to ask Catherine why she did that, 609 00:27:42,443 --> 00:27:43,749 but I was too distracted by thoughts 610 00:27:43,923 --> 00:27:46,142 of frottagewith her hair. 611 00:27:47,361 --> 00:27:49,537 It'’s like a yard of corn silk. 612 00:27:49,711 --> 00:27:53,149 There to wrap around your c-- -You'’re dead. 613 00:27:54,324 --> 00:27:55,499 -Sorry, what? 614 00:27:57,066 --> 00:27:59,503 -I'’m trying to save your life here. 615 00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:01,897 If you go back to the Sultan and inform him 616 00:28:02,071 --> 00:28:04,508 Catherine is the true heir to the throne, ignoring God, 617 00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,728 and how I'’m the blood descendant of rulers for centuries-- 618 00:28:06,902 --> 00:28:09,905 "Don'’t worry about it, Sultan, she is the one to talk to"-- 619 00:28:10,079 --> 00:28:12,038 how will he react when I retake it 620 00:28:12,212 --> 00:28:14,344 in a matter of months if not weeks? 621 00:28:14,518 --> 00:28:15,694 He cuts your throat. 622 00:28:15,868 --> 00:28:17,304 -You'’re so certain of this? 623 00:28:17,478 --> 00:28:19,045 -Mm. This is just God'’s little challenge for me, 624 00:28:19,219 --> 00:28:21,134 so I come back and be a slightly better leader. 625 00:28:21,308 --> 00:28:23,658 She may have the court now, in theory, but they love me. 626 00:28:23,832 --> 00:28:25,138 My popularity grows. 627 00:28:26,617 --> 00:28:28,968 Uh, Grigor. You look miserable, by the way. 628 00:28:29,142 --> 00:28:31,535 -I'’m fine. Uh... 629 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:34,147 I might stop, actually. Yeah. 630 00:28:38,020 --> 00:28:39,587 -Uncle Varnya. 631 00:28:41,371 --> 00:28:43,112 I thought you'’d left. 632 00:28:43,286 --> 00:28:45,941 -I did. I told them the great news of the road to be built 633 00:28:46,115 --> 00:28:47,813 and there was much rejoicing. 634 00:28:48,901 --> 00:28:50,467 -I'’m glad to help my region. 635 00:28:50,641 --> 00:28:54,080 -Orlo! Orlo! Orlo! 636 00:28:54,254 --> 00:28:56,038 -Stop it, you'’re embarrassing me. 637 00:28:56,212 --> 00:28:58,737 -The Ottomans are running rampant near us. 638 00:28:58,911 --> 00:29:00,869 -We are dealing with it. 639 00:29:01,043 --> 00:29:03,219 -Oh, of course, you are. People are writing your story, you know? 640 00:29:03,393 --> 00:29:05,526 -Really? Mm. It'’s not really a literate village. 641 00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:09,138 -Born in shit, floated to the stars. 642 00:29:09,312 --> 00:29:10,661 -Thanks. 643 00:29:12,446 --> 00:29:14,274 -We are a poor people. 644 00:29:15,275 --> 00:29:16,406 The poorest. 645 00:29:16,580 --> 00:29:18,060 -I know. 646 00:29:18,234 --> 00:29:19,540 -Cash is good. 647 00:29:20,584 --> 00:29:22,717 -Cash? -Mm, cash. 648 00:29:22,891 --> 00:29:24,937 It lifts the spirits of our people. 649 00:29:25,111 --> 00:29:27,983 It lifts bread to their scabbed mouths. 650 00:29:29,332 --> 00:29:31,117 -I don'’t know that I can do that. 651 00:29:31,291 --> 00:29:33,989 -Ah, but I know you can. You will. 652 00:29:35,512 --> 00:29:37,079 For your heart is good. 653 00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:39,038 You love your people 654 00:29:39,212 --> 00:29:42,476 and are not black of heart or evil of eye. 655 00:29:43,825 --> 00:29:45,740 Are you? 656 00:29:45,914 --> 00:29:49,962 -No, I'’m not black of heart or evil of eye. 657 00:29:53,356 --> 00:29:54,836 Cash. 658 00:29:55,619 --> 00:29:57,447 [clock ticking] 659 00:30:05,586 --> 00:30:06,848 [door opens] 660 00:30:08,154 --> 00:30:10,330 -Apparently, there'’s a party. 661 00:30:19,034 --> 00:30:21,123 [string orchestra playing dance music] 662 00:30:23,778 --> 00:30:26,215 [indistinct chatter and laughter] 663 00:30:34,615 --> 00:30:36,573 -You see they love me, 664 00:30:36,747 --> 00:30:39,141 and her power is an illusion that I will shatter when the time is right. 665 00:30:48,150 --> 00:30:49,760 -How is he allowed a party? 666 00:30:51,066 --> 00:30:53,286 CATHERINE: I think he found a loophole... 667 00:30:53,460 --> 00:30:55,114 and a hat. 668 00:30:56,724 --> 00:30:59,031 -Ah, welcome! It'’s our baby shower. 669 00:30:59,205 --> 00:31:01,033 -Hmm. Such speedy organizing. 670 00:31:01,207 --> 00:31:03,122 PETER: Mm. -Gosh, don'’t you look baffling. 671 00:31:03,296 --> 00:31:04,906 -Oh, thanks. 672 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,430 -Beautiful baby shower, Empress. Congratulations. 673 00:31:07,604 --> 00:31:08,692 -I was explaining to Catherine earlier 674 00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:10,303 that when you have a party, 675 00:31:10,477 --> 00:31:12,044 it should be an impromptu, spontaneous 676 00:31:12,218 --> 00:31:14,655 outpouring of love and alcohol. 677 00:31:14,829 --> 00:31:17,310 But I suppose that'’s hard to understand for an un-fun person, 678 00:31:17,484 --> 00:31:20,008 someone who forces people to do homework at a breakfast. 679 00:31:20,182 --> 00:31:21,531 -That was fun. 680 00:31:21,705 --> 00:31:23,925 We had a Diderot breakfast. People loved it. 681 00:31:24,099 --> 00:31:25,709 -I'’m sure they did. 682 00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,755 -I'’m bored rehashing it, even for a second. Really. 683 00:31:27,929 --> 00:31:29,409 I must dash. I have to tell people 684 00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:31,193 the stuff coming out of the fountain 685 00:31:31,367 --> 00:31:34,153 is cherry-flavored vodka and not blood. 686 00:31:34,327 --> 00:31:37,112 -I thought we said 7:00 in my apartments? -We did. 687 00:31:37,286 --> 00:31:40,768 But in the end, I decided it might be a pointless gesture. 688 00:31:40,942 --> 00:31:42,291 -I am sorry, but I was under the impression 689 00:31:42,465 --> 00:31:44,250 we made some headway this morning. 690 00:31:44,424 --> 00:31:48,471 -Mm. It seems your people may not be adjusting to your reign 691 00:31:48,645 --> 00:31:50,082 as seamlessly as you'’ve made out. 692 00:31:50,256 --> 00:31:51,779 -Nonsense. They love me. 693 00:31:51,953 --> 00:31:54,869 -And yet here we are, at your husband'’s party, 694 00:31:55,043 --> 00:31:59,004 where they sip on his vodka and cram in like sardines. 695 00:31:59,178 --> 00:32:01,180 You do not make a strong case. 696 00:32:01,354 --> 00:32:02,790 -That is not-- -Everyone! 697 00:32:02,964 --> 00:32:04,139 Everyone! 698 00:32:04,313 --> 00:32:05,880 I would like to make a toast! 699 00:32:06,054 --> 00:32:09,623 [cheering] 700 00:32:09,797 --> 00:32:11,973 -Yes! As would I! 701 00:32:12,147 --> 00:32:13,714 -Indeed! 702 00:32:13,888 --> 00:32:16,238 The Empress probably has some more reading to assign. 703 00:32:16,412 --> 00:32:17,892 -That'’s not true! 704 00:32:18,066 --> 00:32:19,894 I wanted to thank you all for coming to my party. 705 00:32:20,068 --> 00:32:21,330 [scattered cheering] 706 00:32:21,504 --> 00:32:22,810 -This party is very clearly mine. 707 00:32:22,984 --> 00:32:24,464 I provided you all with duck rillette-- 708 00:32:24,638 --> 00:32:27,641 -Which I own and have paid our chefs to produce. 709 00:32:27,815 --> 00:32:29,556 -In God'’s eyes, I am still the chosen. 710 00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:32,951 -God cares for his people, so chose again. 711 00:32:33,125 --> 00:32:34,343 -Let'’s get fucked up! 712 00:32:34,517 --> 00:32:37,259 [cheering] 713 00:32:37,433 --> 00:32:39,261 -Here'’s to many more parties like this, 714 00:32:39,435 --> 00:32:41,133 because I am your Empress, 715 00:32:41,307 --> 00:32:43,787 whom you love and think is very fun. 716 00:32:43,962 --> 00:32:45,093 -Uh, but not as fun as me. 717 00:32:45,267 --> 00:32:46,965 Because I am known for being fun. 718 00:32:47,139 --> 00:32:49,793 -Indeed, you are not known for much else. 719 00:32:49,968 --> 00:32:53,493 Huzzah! CROWD: Huzzah! 720 00:32:53,667 --> 00:32:55,625 -Ah. Beat you to it. 721 00:33:02,284 --> 00:33:04,460 -I took your advice. -Hmm. And? 722 00:33:04,634 --> 00:33:06,897 -I groveled. It was unseemly. 723 00:33:07,072 --> 00:33:09,248 -A year of betrayal on both sides 724 00:33:09,422 --> 00:33:11,728 cannot be healed in one conversation. 725 00:33:11,902 --> 00:33:12,860 ARCHIE: Hmm. 726 00:33:13,034 --> 00:33:14,514 -And the two of you got off 727 00:33:14,688 --> 00:33:16,124 to the worst possible start, we must not forget that. 728 00:33:16,298 --> 00:33:18,257 -How so? -Think back. 729 00:33:18,431 --> 00:33:20,999 Try and see if you can put your finger on it... 730 00:33:21,173 --> 00:33:22,913 or in it. 731 00:33:23,088 --> 00:33:24,263 -Ah. 732 00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:26,569 It was my duty. 733 00:33:26,743 --> 00:33:29,616 Inelegant and uncomfortable, but my duty. 734 00:33:29,790 --> 00:33:32,401 -That'’s not quite the beginning of an apology, is it? 735 00:33:32,575 --> 00:33:34,882 [balalaika music playing] 736 00:33:38,973 --> 00:33:39,930 -Aaaah! [echoing] 737 00:33:40,105 --> 00:33:42,194 [radishes thudding] 738 00:33:42,368 --> 00:33:44,152 [courtiers laughing] 739 00:33:44,326 --> 00:33:46,459 ♪ 740 00:33:57,426 --> 00:34:00,821 -Ooh! -Oh! Out of bounds, Tatyana. 741 00:34:00,995 --> 00:34:02,779 He'’s on Cum Patrol! 742 00:34:02,953 --> 00:34:04,912 -Wait, the game is to throw turnips at serfs? 743 00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:07,175 -Sweet Catherine, would you like us to put the turnips down 744 00:34:07,349 --> 00:34:08,829 in case we hurt their feelings, too? 745 00:34:09,003 --> 00:34:11,658 -I was actually about to suggest something more fun. 746 00:34:11,832 --> 00:34:14,226 Turnip someone who has wronged you in some way. 747 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:15,966 -Oh! -[women laughing] 748 00:34:16,141 --> 00:34:17,751 -That is more fun. -Smolny! 749 00:34:17,925 --> 00:34:20,754 -[turnips thudding] -[women laughing] 750 00:34:20,928 --> 00:34:22,234 -Huzzah for the Empress! 751 00:34:22,408 --> 00:34:25,106 -Indeed! Huzzah for me! 752 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,674 VELEMENTOV: Huzzah! -[women laughing] 753 00:34:28,370 --> 00:34:29,806 -Hello. 754 00:34:29,980 --> 00:34:32,070 I-I hear good things about the girls'’ school. 755 00:34:32,244 --> 00:34:33,723 -Really? 756 00:34:33,897 --> 00:34:36,770 I mean, I think so, but you can never be sure. 757 00:34:36,944 --> 00:34:38,685 Our minds create a picture of the world 758 00:34:38,859 --> 00:34:41,905 based on what we perceive through our senses. 759 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,126 -"Knowledge is a construction." Immanuel Kant. 760 00:34:45,300 --> 00:34:47,998 -You know Kant? I can'’t do Kant. 761 00:34:48,173 --> 00:34:49,391 -You can. 762 00:34:49,565 --> 00:34:52,002 -I think, therefore I Kant. 763 00:34:52,177 --> 00:34:53,395 -Descartes. -Mm. 764 00:34:53,569 --> 00:34:54,788 -But not quite. 765 00:34:56,616 --> 00:34:57,704 -Decant? 766 00:34:58,487 --> 00:34:59,619 -That was giddying. 767 00:34:59,793 --> 00:35:01,577 -[both laughing] -Shall we do more? 768 00:35:04,014 --> 00:35:05,929 -I believe those are for the baby. 769 00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:07,192 -He'’ll never know. 770 00:35:08,323 --> 00:35:10,151 Would you like some, Marial? 771 00:35:13,241 --> 00:35:14,938 -So, you do remember my name. 772 00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:16,766 -Of course. 773 00:35:16,940 --> 00:35:19,900 -And yet, when was the last time we spoke to one another? 774 00:35:20,074 --> 00:35:22,990 -You and George had that disagreement. 775 00:35:23,164 --> 00:35:25,035 -I was forced to be a serf, 776 00:35:25,210 --> 00:35:26,733 and she chose to forget our friendship 777 00:35:26,907 --> 00:35:28,517 and instead taunted and humiliated me. 778 00:35:28,691 --> 00:35:30,084 You mean that disagreement? 779 00:35:30,258 --> 00:35:32,042 -She did not shy away from humiliating others. 780 00:35:32,217 --> 00:35:34,480 At times, her worst quality. 781 00:35:34,654 --> 00:35:36,482 At times, her best. 782 00:35:36,656 --> 00:35:38,832 -Even when she and I were friends, you and I barely spoke. 783 00:35:39,006 --> 00:35:41,487 -She preferred if we did not. 784 00:35:41,661 --> 00:35:42,966 -Why? 785 00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:44,925 -I lost my virginity to you. 786 00:35:45,099 --> 00:35:46,970 -You can'’t tell me she was jealous. 787 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:48,450 She fucked your best friend 788 00:35:48,624 --> 00:35:50,235 for the entirety of your marriage. 789 00:35:50,409 --> 00:35:52,759 -It was not a marriage bound by logic. 790 00:35:52,933 --> 00:35:54,674 -[sets down glass] -I have to go. 791 00:35:55,805 --> 00:35:57,590 -Can I come with you? 792 00:36:00,723 --> 00:36:01,985 -Yes. 793 00:36:06,555 --> 00:36:08,818 [Catherine laughing] 794 00:36:08,992 --> 00:36:11,125 -Macaroons on Paul! 795 00:36:11,299 --> 00:36:13,388 [courtiers cheering] 796 00:36:15,564 --> 00:36:17,827 Hi. [giggling] 797 00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:24,791 [balalaika music playing] 798 00:36:29,099 --> 00:36:31,711 That is not how we'’re doing this. 799 00:36:32,973 --> 00:36:34,714 Sorry for slapping you. 800 00:36:34,888 --> 00:36:36,455 -That'’s fine. 801 00:36:36,629 --> 00:36:38,500 -Um... 802 00:36:40,589 --> 00:36:43,462 Oh! You have lice in your beard. 803 00:36:43,636 --> 00:36:45,333 -I-I know. 804 00:36:45,507 --> 00:36:48,728 Beard lice has been going around the guards. 805 00:36:50,686 --> 00:36:51,644 -Right, then. 806 00:36:51,818 --> 00:36:54,037 This is done. You may go. 807 00:36:54,777 --> 00:36:56,257 -Look at him. 808 00:36:56,431 --> 00:36:59,695 The fucking arrogance of that mustache. 809 00:36:59,869 --> 00:37:01,523 -Thrilling, isn'’t it? 810 00:37:01,697 --> 00:37:04,787 -It'’s fucking dangerous, the way this is being handled. 811 00:37:04,961 --> 00:37:08,443 Peace chats and anchovy platters. 812 00:37:08,617 --> 00:37:12,186 I know their way, as do you. 813 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,275 We need to show strength. 814 00:37:14,449 --> 00:37:16,190 That'’s all they understand. 815 00:37:16,364 --> 00:37:18,801 -Maybe that'’s all anyone'’s tried. 816 00:37:18,975 --> 00:37:21,282 Maybe a new way, a new result. 817 00:37:21,456 --> 00:37:22,979 -I can win this war. 818 00:37:23,153 --> 00:37:26,244 But not if I am dealt a losing hand at the off. 819 00:37:26,418 --> 00:37:29,986 She must do something... 820 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,467 or at the end of the night, Sunduk goes home knowing 821 00:37:32,641 --> 00:37:35,557 she is a pacifist with a popular husband. 822 00:37:35,731 --> 00:37:39,387 They'’ll take our territory and slaughter our people, 823 00:37:39,561 --> 00:37:42,956 and he'’ll expect a nice anchovy platter in the mail for it. 824 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,090 You know, I was on that trip 825 00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:50,180 with Peter the Great to Constantinople. 826 00:37:50,355 --> 00:37:52,313 I don'’t remember you being bitten. 827 00:37:53,314 --> 00:37:54,794 -Really? 828 00:37:54,968 --> 00:37:57,884 How strange. 829 00:37:58,058 --> 00:38:00,234 [whispering]: You are often drunk, though. 830 00:38:05,848 --> 00:38:06,980 Hello. 831 00:38:07,154 --> 00:38:09,461 I noticed you left with a guard? 832 00:38:09,635 --> 00:38:11,550 We may need a roster system. 833 00:38:11,724 --> 00:38:13,116 -No. Beard lice. 834 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:15,423 -Oh. 835 00:38:15,597 --> 00:38:18,731 -I fear I may have cheapened myself tonight for no reason. 836 00:38:18,905 --> 00:38:20,602 -The court love you. 837 00:38:20,776 --> 00:38:22,691 -Sunduk does not. 838 00:38:22,865 --> 00:38:25,912 -The joy of being a woman is knowing that we have 839 00:38:26,086 --> 00:38:30,264 unseen and unacknowledged depths and strengths 840 00:38:30,438 --> 00:38:32,875 beyond anything a man will ever know, 841 00:38:33,049 --> 00:38:37,489 and knowing that, when we feel like it, 842 00:38:37,663 --> 00:38:41,231 we can outplay a man on his own field. 843 00:38:41,884 --> 00:38:43,321 -Indeed. 844 00:38:46,454 --> 00:38:49,762 [Peter chatting indistinctly, laughing] 845 00:38:49,936 --> 00:38:51,807 [Peter gasping facetiously] 846 00:38:51,981 --> 00:38:53,592 -Oh! We were just chatting about 847 00:38:53,766 --> 00:38:55,985 our hunting trip to Myshkin last year. 848 00:38:56,159 --> 00:38:58,074 -Interesting. 849 00:38:58,248 --> 00:38:59,728 We should hunt sometime. 850 00:38:59,902 --> 00:39:03,079 -You hunting? -Indeed. 851 00:39:03,253 --> 00:39:05,473 Unfortunately, it'’s time for you to go now. 852 00:39:05,647 --> 00:39:08,650 Guards. Escort the Emperor to a spare room. 853 00:39:08,824 --> 00:39:10,870 Tonight was fun, and I like to humor him 854 00:39:11,044 --> 00:39:13,002 from time to time, but I have had enough. 855 00:39:13,176 --> 00:39:15,744 -Why have you started talking about me like I'’m not here? 856 00:39:15,918 --> 00:39:16,963 Oh! What the fuck? 857 00:39:17,137 --> 00:39:18,573 Hey, let me go! 858 00:39:18,747 --> 00:39:20,053 Stop! Hey! 859 00:39:20,227 --> 00:39:21,271 Hey! 860 00:39:22,577 --> 00:39:25,275 -Now... hunting. 861 00:39:25,450 --> 00:39:27,190 Tomorrow, shall we? 862 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:29,149 -Yes, I think we shall. 863 00:39:29,323 --> 00:39:30,498 -Mm. 864 00:39:34,502 --> 00:39:36,765 -I feel like I am finally free to do as I please. 865 00:39:36,939 --> 00:39:40,247 I was in a foursome today. Haven'’t done that in years. 866 00:39:41,466 --> 00:39:42,554 -Look at you. 867 00:39:42,728 --> 00:39:44,556 -Every day has just been filled 868 00:39:44,730 --> 00:39:47,602 with all the things I haven'’t gotten to do for years. 869 00:39:47,776 --> 00:39:49,996 -So, you don'’t miss her at all? 870 00:39:50,170 --> 00:39:51,954 -What a terrible question. 871 00:39:52,128 --> 00:39:53,739 -I'’m sorry. I'’m su... 872 00:39:53,913 --> 00:39:55,654 I'’m sure you do. 873 00:39:56,350 --> 00:39:58,744 -I don'’t know. 874 00:39:58,918 --> 00:40:01,703 I haven'’t felt much of anything. I don'’t want to feel anything. 875 00:40:01,877 --> 00:40:03,444 -I don'’t think we should fuck. 876 00:40:03,618 --> 00:40:05,490 -There'’d be a nice symmetry to it. -Mm. 877 00:40:05,664 --> 00:40:07,622 -We were each other'’s first. 878 00:40:07,796 --> 00:40:09,407 -Mm, there'’d only be symmetry if we were each other'’s last. 879 00:40:09,581 --> 00:40:10,930 -We could fuck every ten years. 880 00:40:11,104 --> 00:40:12,975 So tonight, and then again in a decade. 881 00:40:13,149 --> 00:40:17,937 -Mm. I think I need the person I'’m fucking to feel something. 882 00:40:18,111 --> 00:40:19,591 Numbness is not very attractive. 883 00:40:19,765 --> 00:40:21,767 [fire crackling] 884 00:40:22,942 --> 00:40:24,552 -Understandable. 885 00:40:26,293 --> 00:40:27,555 Mm. 886 00:40:35,694 --> 00:40:37,217 A case for numbness. 887 00:40:37,391 --> 00:40:39,872 Suppose I let myself feel something. 888 00:40:40,046 --> 00:40:44,050 And what I feel is that I miss her so much 889 00:40:44,224 --> 00:40:48,707 that I am pinned down underneath the boulder of that pain, 890 00:40:48,881 --> 00:40:51,884 completely flattened and powerless to rise again. 891 00:40:52,058 --> 00:40:54,147 What good would that do me? 892 00:40:54,321 --> 00:40:58,325 Or suppose that I realize that I don'’t miss her. 893 00:40:58,499 --> 00:41:00,066 That would be excruciating as well. 894 00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:02,285 Half my life spent on a lie. 895 00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:06,681 So, it'’s either numb, or terrible. 896 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,386 -Did that feel terrible? 897 00:41:16,561 --> 00:41:18,171 -It did not. 898 00:41:27,702 --> 00:41:29,312 Still not terrible. 899 00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:31,489 -But not numb? -No. 900 00:41:41,716 --> 00:41:43,239 -Hmm. 901 00:41:51,639 --> 00:41:53,249 -Thank you for joining me. 902 00:41:53,423 --> 00:41:55,643 I believe the more one knows a person, 903 00:41:55,817 --> 00:41:59,081 the more one realizes the common interests between them. 904 00:41:59,255 --> 00:42:00,909 It applies to countries, as well. 905 00:42:01,083 --> 00:42:02,520 -And I believe there'’s no better cure 906 00:42:02,694 --> 00:42:04,826 for a hangover than killing things. 907 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,525 It applies to countries, as well. 908 00:42:08,569 --> 00:42:09,918 [fires] 909 00:42:11,964 --> 00:42:15,837 I love the way they fall, it'’s very poetic. 910 00:42:16,011 --> 00:42:17,186 Have you read Rumi? 911 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,188 -No. 912 00:42:19,362 --> 00:42:22,888 Which I'’m sure you knew, which is why you asked. 913 00:42:23,062 --> 00:42:25,064 [fires] 914 00:42:25,238 --> 00:42:26,587 -Well done. 915 00:42:26,761 --> 00:42:28,502 -Ah. You seem surprised. 916 00:42:28,676 --> 00:42:29,721 -As do you. 917 00:42:29,895 --> 00:42:31,940 -Not at all. 918 00:42:32,811 --> 00:42:34,552 [fires] 919 00:42:38,381 --> 00:42:39,861 [two guns fire] 920 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,344 I worry you will underestimate me 921 00:42:44,518 --> 00:42:47,782 and then look bad to your Sultan. 922 00:42:47,956 --> 00:42:51,873 You need to know, I will act decisively for my country. 923 00:42:52,047 --> 00:42:54,006 -[Velementov fires] -[Catherine fires] 924 00:42:56,878 --> 00:43:00,055 -I take it Velementov is in the forest. 925 00:43:00,229 --> 00:43:03,015 -Oh. What is a leader without a strategy? 926 00:43:03,189 --> 00:43:05,800 -Well shot, Velementov! 927 00:43:08,150 --> 00:43:10,109 You aim to impress me. 928 00:43:10,283 --> 00:43:12,764 -I did. 929 00:43:12,938 --> 00:43:16,463 And it was working, so ponder that. 930 00:43:16,637 --> 00:43:20,075 -How simple a thing was that colored your opinion of me, 931 00:43:20,249 --> 00:43:23,339 mister sophisticated worldly ambassador. 932 00:43:23,513 --> 00:43:25,037 -A valid point. 933 00:43:25,211 --> 00:43:28,083 -You think I will not last. 934 00:43:28,257 --> 00:43:32,174 But that is because you have never seen a ruler like me before. 935 00:43:32,348 --> 00:43:33,872 Because I am the future. 936 00:43:34,046 --> 00:43:35,613 -Maybe you are. 937 00:43:35,787 --> 00:43:37,440 Hmm. 938 00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:39,791 Maybe you'’re a delusional child. 939 00:43:39,965 --> 00:43:42,358 -But are you happy to take the risk I'’m not? 940 00:43:42,532 --> 00:43:44,360 -May I make a suggestion? 941 00:43:44,534 --> 00:43:46,145 It might help matters of diplomacy 942 00:43:46,319 --> 00:43:47,886 to not start things off by lying 943 00:43:48,060 --> 00:43:50,323 about having an all-female cabinet 944 00:43:50,497 --> 00:43:52,151 of high-ranking advisors 945 00:43:52,325 --> 00:43:55,502 simply because you think it will enrage me. 946 00:43:55,676 --> 00:43:57,809 For what it'’s worth, it did not enrage me. 947 00:43:57,983 --> 00:44:00,072 -Interesting. 948 00:44:00,246 --> 00:44:02,727 May I make a suggestion? -Of course. 949 00:44:02,901 --> 00:44:04,511 -Keep the mustache. 950 00:44:04,685 --> 00:44:07,601 You might be tempted at a later date to shave it. 951 00:44:07,775 --> 00:44:10,778 You'’ll think, "Ah, it'’ll grow back. There'’s no risk," 952 00:44:10,952 --> 00:44:13,868 but it will never grow back the same, 953 00:44:14,042 --> 00:44:15,914 and it is marvelous. 954 00:44:18,786 --> 00:44:21,659 And if the point is to get all the birds... 955 00:44:22,747 --> 00:44:24,139 [high-pitched bird call] 956 00:44:24,313 --> 00:44:26,272 [wings fluttering] 957 00:44:26,446 --> 00:44:29,623 ...not everything need be seized by force and aggression. 958 00:44:34,584 --> 00:44:39,111 -They seemed friendly and walked back arm-in-arm. 959 00:44:39,285 --> 00:44:41,287 -Right. Mm. 960 00:44:42,897 --> 00:44:45,378 So, she hates random killing, 961 00:44:45,552 --> 00:44:47,032 but is it random if I think about it 962 00:44:47,206 --> 00:44:49,034 very methodically ahead of time, 963 00:44:49,208 --> 00:44:50,905 and it'’s actually a political strategy? 964 00:44:51,079 --> 00:44:53,038 As I need trouble on our border, 965 00:44:53,212 --> 00:44:54,692 and I need Sunduk to not try and fuck her, 966 00:44:54,866 --> 00:44:57,477 '’cause I know that guy and he has a way. 967 00:44:57,651 --> 00:44:59,914 Hypnosis is part of it, he told me. 968 00:45:00,872 --> 00:45:02,525 ARKADY: Hmm. 969 00:45:03,309 --> 00:45:04,614 -Okay. Yeah. 970 00:45:04,789 --> 00:45:06,181 Arkady, I need you to do something for me. 971 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,185 -Of course. -You seem hesitant. 972 00:45:10,359 --> 00:45:11,970 -No, no. I, uh... 973 00:45:12,144 --> 00:45:15,843 I promised Tatyana a night out, but I can do this. 974 00:45:16,017 --> 00:45:18,454 -Well, take her with you. 975 00:45:20,326 --> 00:45:23,503 -I owe you an apology, Empress. 976 00:45:23,677 --> 00:45:24,852 -You owe me many. 977 00:45:25,026 --> 00:45:26,724 -When I recall our first meeting, 978 00:45:26,898 --> 00:45:28,595 I wish it had gone differently. 979 00:45:28,769 --> 00:45:30,640 -Indeed. 980 00:45:30,815 --> 00:45:33,165 When I recall it, I am first struck by a cold sensation, 981 00:45:33,339 --> 00:45:35,341 and then the urge to stab you 12 times. 982 00:45:35,515 --> 00:45:37,212 -I understand completely. 983 00:45:37,386 --> 00:45:42,261 And in the spirit of a fresh start, I have this gift for you. 984 00:45:48,441 --> 00:45:50,878 -[gasps] Jesus Christ! 985 00:45:51,052 --> 00:45:54,055 -The offending finger. -I can see that. 986 00:45:54,229 --> 00:45:55,796 The gesture, 987 00:45:55,970 --> 00:46:00,540 grand and aggressive as it might be, is pointless. 988 00:46:00,714 --> 00:46:03,108 We have completely different visions for Russia. 989 00:46:03,282 --> 00:46:05,632 -And yet we both want to save it. 990 00:46:05,806 --> 00:46:08,722 I still believe we can, together. 991 00:46:08,896 --> 00:46:12,204 -It would take immense effort, when I simply do not have to. 992 00:46:12,378 --> 00:46:14,902 I have found someone on the same page as me. 993 00:46:15,076 --> 00:46:17,513 -Someone who does not understand the church. 994 00:46:17,687 --> 00:46:19,167 He is a backwoods priest. 995 00:46:19,341 --> 00:46:21,343 He'’s a good man, but simple. 996 00:46:21,517 --> 00:46:23,868 -He understands well enough. 997 00:46:24,042 --> 00:46:25,478 -What is that supposed to mean? 998 00:46:25,652 --> 00:46:27,828 -You have read Diderot. 999 00:46:28,002 --> 00:46:30,265 Whether God exists or does not, 1000 00:46:30,439 --> 00:46:32,398 he has come to rank among 1001 00:46:32,572 --> 00:46:34,879 the most sublime and useless truths. 1002 00:46:35,053 --> 00:46:37,490 -You say dangerous things, Empress. 1003 00:46:37,664 --> 00:46:40,058 The church means something to these people. 1004 00:46:40,232 --> 00:46:41,842 You cannot dismiss it. 1005 00:46:42,016 --> 00:46:45,019 -Not quickly, you'’re right. 1006 00:46:45,193 --> 00:46:48,936 But in time, we might be introduced to a better way. 1007 00:46:49,110 --> 00:46:51,721 You used two. -I'’m sorry? 1008 00:46:51,896 --> 00:46:54,986 -Fingers. You used two. 1009 00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,553 -Oh, yes. 1010 00:46:57,727 --> 00:47:00,774 I was a little light-headed after the first. 1011 00:47:02,994 --> 00:47:05,692 Although, at this point, I'’m glad I stopped at one. 1012 00:47:06,301 --> 00:47:07,912 -Indeed. 1013 00:47:08,086 --> 00:47:09,435 Me too. 1014 00:47:12,307 --> 00:47:15,528 -Ah! I had a thought. 1015 00:47:15,702 --> 00:47:17,747 Who won'’t expect anything from you, 1016 00:47:17,922 --> 00:47:19,793 won'’t use it against you in the court, 1017 00:47:19,967 --> 00:47:22,361 and is guaranteed to get you off your nut? 1018 00:47:22,535 --> 00:47:24,754 I mean, there'’s almost no one 1019 00:47:24,929 --> 00:47:27,366 who fills that criteria, except... 1020 00:47:29,803 --> 00:47:32,023 He knows the trick. 1021 00:47:33,633 --> 00:47:35,940 -Throw this away for me. 1022 00:47:36,114 --> 00:47:38,072 [balalaika playing] 1023 00:47:51,085 --> 00:47:52,739 [music growing louder] 1024 00:47:52,913 --> 00:47:55,394 [coach rattling] 1025 00:47:57,178 --> 00:47:59,659 [rattling stops] 1026 00:48:03,184 --> 00:48:04,359 [clattering] 1027 00:48:04,533 --> 00:48:06,318 [groans] 1028 00:48:09,016 --> 00:48:11,758 -Right, so what do we do now? 1029 00:48:11,932 --> 00:48:14,065 Do we really have to cut his head off? 1030 00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:15,893 -Apparently. 1031 00:48:18,634 --> 00:48:20,071 -Get out. 1032 00:48:20,245 --> 00:48:22,421 -Ah! I didn'’t expect to see you today. 1033 00:48:22,595 --> 00:48:24,989 -Don'’t talk. -[furniture clatters] 1034 00:48:27,078 --> 00:48:28,644 Do the thing with the tongue. 1035 00:48:29,689 --> 00:48:31,386 Hmm. 1036 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,041 [The Sweetest Thing by Camera Obscura playing] 1037 00:48:38,306 --> 00:48:42,310 ♪ I'’m going on a date tonight ♪ 1038 00:48:42,484 --> 00:48:46,140 ♪ To try to fall out of love with you ♪ 1039 00:48:46,314 --> 00:48:49,752 ♪ I know, I know this is a crime ♪ 1040 00:48:49,927 --> 00:48:55,236 ♪ But I don'’t know what else to do ♪ 1041 00:49:00,850 --> 00:49:04,854 ♪ My love, you'’re in a magazine ♪ 1042 00:49:05,029 --> 00:49:08,641 ♪ My love, you'’re doing fine you'’re on TV ♪ 1043 00:49:08,815 --> 00:49:12,297 ♪ You pull my heart out and then you run away ♪ 1044 00:49:12,471 --> 00:49:17,215 ♪ From Chicago to Cleveland you leave me pain ♪ 1045 00:49:18,172 --> 00:49:21,523 ♪ You leave me pain ♪ 1046 00:49:24,004 --> 00:49:27,442 ♪ When you'’re lucid you'’re the sweetest thing ♪ 1047 00:49:27,616 --> 00:49:31,316 ♪ I would trade my mother to hear you sing ♪ 1048 00:49:31,490 --> 00:49:35,189 ♪ When you'’re lucid you'’re the sweetest thing ♪ 1049 00:49:35,363 --> 00:49:38,888 ♪ I would trade my mother ♪ 1050 00:49:39,063 --> 00:49:42,457 ♪ On the bus radio ♪ 1051 00:49:42,631 --> 00:49:46,461 ♪ "Fifty ways to leave your lover alone" ♪ 1052 00:49:46,635 --> 00:49:49,987 ♪ I laughed at the irony ♪ 1053 00:49:50,161 --> 00:49:54,861 ♪ But life is stupid the irony all lost on me ♪ 1054 00:49:56,123 --> 00:49:58,996 ♪ It got lost on me ♪ 1055 00:50:01,911 --> 00:50:05,350 ♪ When you'’re lucid you'’re the sweetest thing ♪ 1056 00:50:05,524 --> 00:50:09,267 ♪ I would trade my mother to hear you sing ♪ 1057 00:50:09,441 --> 00:50:12,835 ♪ When you'’re lucid you'’re the sweetest thing ♪ 1058 00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:16,100 ♪ I would trade my mother ♪ 1059 00:50:16,274 --> 00:50:19,929 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪