Oh, my God! Shaun!
You're masturbating.
I thought you left.
I could catch the next bus if you would like to have sex now.
No... No, thank you.
But you were...
I'm good, and it's late.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Mariel Torres, 31, fever, BP 124 over 83.
Fainted coming off a plane at SFO.
Fiance said she's had a persistent cough,
pain in her chest and abdomen.
How long has she had these symptoms?
Months, on and off.
I kept telling her to go to a doctor.
Soft and non-tender, no distention or guarding present.
Uh...Isaac, what's... what's happening?
Ms. Torres, I'm Dr. Lim.
You're at St. Bonaventure Hospital.
You collapsed at the airport.
I'm... I'm not covered. My insurance lapsed.
We can fast-track your access
to St. Bonaventure's uninsured program.
Any recent stressors?
I've been traveling a lot for work.
Deep breath, please.
She's a photographer.
She documents immigrant communities across California.
I tagged along this last trip.
He keeps me sane.
Rales and rhonchi, decreased breath sounds bilaterally.
We need a chest X-ray.
Hey.
We got this.
You and me.
What do you do for work?
Uh, I am one of the research professors
of the Jane Austen project at Stanford.
I imagine you sit a lot?
Well, it would be unethical to read a first edition
of Sense and Sensibility standing up.
That explains why you're in so much pain.
You have severe hemorrhoids.
Well... Can you give me a salve or something?
This is...beyond salve.
They seem like a cool couple.
They seem fine.
Torres imaging come through yet?
Not yet.
Supportive, fun, loving,
but not in a gross, performative way.
You picked up a lot in two minutes.
Sounds like someone wants a boyfriend.
I have been considering venturing out of Hookuptown
for something more serious,
which requires finding someone to get serious about.
That does tend to be the hard part.
Well, that's why I've decided to raise the bar,
only date guys that check all the boxes.
So, your plan is to be more open by being more closed?
The images are in.
I want to be more intentional about it,
find someone who gets me, but also challenges me.
Instead of getting diverted
by whoever has the hottest profile pic.
Two nodules in the left lung,
one in the upper lobe, one lower.
That doesn't look like pneumonia.
That looks like cancer.
Hi.
So, about this morning,
when you came home and caught me, you know...
Boosting my own morale...
I used to boost my own morale a lot before we got together.
But I don't anymore
because we usually have very satisfying sex.
Yes, we do.
Absolutely, we do.
Did you need a boost
because we haven't had sex in nine days?
I didn't know we were counting.
Our average is every 2.3 days.
It has been a stressful few months.
If you wanted a morale boost,
why didn't you want me to do it for you?
No, it's... it's not that.
I-I just... I don't know.
I woke up and had a few minutes
and wanted to take the edge off.
Is it...the same as when we're together?
No.
It's...different.
It's definitely not as good,
but it is...faster.
Oh, I can go faster.
No, Shaun.
Boosting my own morale
is not a substitute
for being with you, ever.
And I did try to get things going
a couple times last week,
but you were busy.
You didn't ring the cowbell.
It wasn't cowbell worthy.
We agreed if we were off course, we'd ring the cowbell.
We are not off course.
We're having a dry spell, and it will blow over.
That is a lot of weather terms.
I'm not sure they apply.
Yeah.
Anorectal ailments are one of the oldest recorded medical conditions.
One early remedy was to burn them off with hot coals.
We can remove yours surgically,
but we need to do it right away.
Isn't there some way we could schedule it for next week?
Your hemorrhoids have already ruptured.
You're at risk of serious complications.
Oh.
The surgery is now routine and effective.
No hot coals.
But the recovery can be quite painful.
You'll need a special diet and sitz baths.
No exercise or exertion, including sex,
for six to eight weeks post-op.
No sex? Why?
The wounds need time to heal.
We can get you on the schedule for later today.
The X-rays show two nodules in your left lung,
possibly cancerous.
We'll know more after the biopsy.
It's a simple procedure.
Um, the... the biopsy...
Is covered under the uninsured program?
It all is.
And we'll run a few labs and get you started on fluids.
Is this arm okay for the IV?
Mm-hmm.
Listen, Mari, I was on the phone with your insurance.
What? W-Why?
To save you the hassle.
Sorry, - I need you to hold still. - Oh. Sorry.
You... You shouldn't have called them.
Why not? We need to get this sorted out.
Mari, whatever is going on,
you can tell me.
Um...
My insurance didn't lapse.
I, uh...I lost it.
Because, um...
I'm undocumented.
Brenna?
W-Where is our patient?
She's not in the bathroom,
and her clothes and personal belongings are all gone.
Code green. We have a runner.
I checked the whole second floor. No Brenna.
She's not in the cafeteria or the lobby or the gift shop.
We should check all the exits.
Lea and I haven't had sex for nine days.
Lenore, the gift-shop cashier,
she recommended light bondage.
Dr. Park suggested a romantic bubble bath,
but Lea and I don't agree on water temperature.
You both are busy.
Have you tried scheduling it?
Reliability is sexy.
I think we found her.
All right, time for your biopsy.
I'll have her back in about an hour or so.
I should drop the bags off at the apartment.
Isaac, can we please talk about this
before I go into my procedure?
We've been together two years.
I was gonna tell you.
When?
The wedding?
I promised myself that if marriage were ever on the table
for real, that I'd tell you,
but when you proposed,
my DACA renewal had just been rejected.
And it really freaked me out.
It was, uh...
It was all because of a stupid marijuana DUI on my record.
Another thing you've been hiding.
It was years ago.
Cops pulled me over for a tail light.
They searched and they found edibles,
and they arrested me for driving high,
which I wasn't.
Okay, let's get her some humidified oxygen.
I was...
I was trying to get it expunged.
Breathe into this.
I'm gonna go.
I can get rid of that for you.
There's blood in her sputum.
You're bleeding from your lungs and airway.
Let's get to the O.R., stat.
I'm sorry I ran. I know I need surgery.
You're scared. I understand.
No, it's not just that. I have this date
that I've been waiting a really long time for.
And a rain check poses a problem?
I am...
A virgin.
I am 45 years old and I have never had sex.
Because of your religion?
Honestly, I don't know.
I mean, freshman year in college,
I-I made this really detailed list
of what I wanted in a boyfriend,
and then I fell madly in love with my work.
For a while, I thought I wasn't having sex
because I was obsessed with Jane Austen.
It's commonly believed that she was a virgin when she died.
She was obsessed with her work, too.
I n-- I never stopped looking.
But every year that I waited,
it just got harder to imagine telling someone
I'd met a couple times over coffee or drinks
that I... had never had sex.
I just...
I just felt so ashamed.
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Well, okay.
Tell me about this date.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Okay. Um...
His name is Viktor.
He's an old friend from college.
Glaciologist.
- Oh. - Yeah.
And he's usually in Antarctica or the Arctic Circle,
but he's visiting San Jose for two days.
I was so scared to ask.
I thought he would laugh at me.
But he just said he would be honored.
You've waited a long time.
I have.
And if I don't do it now,
then w-what if I never...
I'm not having the surgery until I have sex with Viktor.
Lea and I haven't had sex in nine days.
Okay.
Um... nine days isn't a thing.
It is something.
You said you and Debbie had a very good sex life.
I would like to know all your secrets.
I said that?
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Uh...
I got to test drive a Testarossa once,
a Ferrari, an '86.
Oh, my God. Beautiful car.
Got my friend to get us a track at Thunderhill.
I get into the car...
Leather interior, stunning detail.
I mean, this car is ready.
And I kick it into gear, and it stalls.
I kick it into gear again, and it stalls again.
It's jerking back and forth.
I'm destroying this $200,000 machine.
Why? Because the pedals are too close together.
I'm... I'm stepping on the brake
and the accelerator at the same time.
Are you saying that a Ferrari
will not cure my dry spell with Lea?
No.
I'm trying to explain this sex book
that Debbie gave me called Come As You Are.
See, uh, according to the book,
people think of it as a sex drive, you know,
and that's too simple.
There's also a brake and an accelerator.
Dr. Glassman? The new nursing schedule is a mess.
Hawks and I have some ideas to make it better,
- if you have time today? - Okay, I think...
I think Dr. Andrews is your guy.
If I could get time on his calendar, I'd ask him.
Fine. Um, if he doesn't get back to you in a week, then come back to me.
Uh...
Accelerating is all the things that rev...
...the engine.
Oh.
All right. Listening,
chocolates,
listening a lot.
And braking is everything
that... that gets in the way of good...
You know, sex.
Stress and work and insecurities
and jealousy and stress. Yes?
Sorry to interrupt, but we are having major crackage problems with the BioGlass pipettes.
Isn't that a President thing?
I have had issues talking to him after the last couple months.
I'll send you an e-mail, fill you in on all the issues.
I look forward to that.
Car.
Do you do regular maintenance?
Are you, you know, talking and communicating and...
Oh, talking, texting.
But mostly about work.
Okay.
So, maybe a little bit less braking,
a little bit more accelerating.
You know, when you get home tonight,
leave your work at the door.
Go inside, put on some music,
light some candles, not too many.
You don't want to make an announcement.
How many?
Nine.
And no weather channel.
Okay.
I...will try.
I have to get back to work.
Okay.
Got a minute?
There's the bleeder.
Cauterizing.
This nodule's caused a lot of damage.
It's too bad she didn't feel safe coming to a hospital.
Mm. One of my aunts was undocumented.
She never let her guard down.
With anyone.
Inserting mini-forceps into the tract.
But hiding it from your fiance?
Doesn't exactly bode well.
Ah, you're really ready to judge this relationship, aren't you?
First, they're "supportive, fun, and loving,"
now it's built on betrayal. There's the nodule.
Advance a little further. Then we can take the sample.
Which suggests that you might be lacking experience
with long-term relationships.
The one thing they never are is simple.
The capsule's tough for a pulmonary nodule.
The inside's friable, crumbly.
That's not cancer.
It's fungus.
And we just released it into her bloodstream.
What if we just let her go home to see Viktor?
It's one night.
Dr. Allen, she has grade four
internal and external hemorrhoids,
which have already ruptured.
If it happens again while she's home,
she's at risk for severe blood loss.
I should tell her about my first time.
I vowed that under no circumstances,
I would be a virgin when I went to college.
Senior prom, my high school boyfriend and I
finally decided to take that last big step past...
"Heavy petting."
Afterwards, all I could think was, "I preferred the petting."
Mm, no second time without a first time.
Let's bring Viktor here.
Afterwards, we'll do the surgery,
and if she has a rupture,
there's no safer place to be than in a hospital.
The hospital has rules against alcohol,
illegal drugs, patients running in socks,
but there is nothing about consensual sex.
It's an illness commonly known as Valley Fever.
It's endemic to soil in the Southwest.
Our immediate concern is,
the fungus is now in your bloodstream.
If an infection takes root in your brain or spine,
that could be fatal.
We're gonna treat you with an anti-fungal
called amphotericin B.
It can be pretty intense.
The side effects include nausea, violent chills,
high fever, convulsions.
Has Isaac been back?
Um, we haven't seen him.
We'll do what we can to alleviate any discomfort.
Get the infusion ready.
Yeah?
You're appointment only now?
It's fine.
I had to establish boundaries,
at least until the hospital's on firmer financial ground.
Huh.
There's a whole lot of broken glass in the lab.
Is that a metaphor?
Yeah, and there's a whole lot of broken glass in the lab.
It's a supplier issue. Apparently news to you?
My assistant also filters requests
before they hit my desk.
Allows me to focus
on the bigger post-Ethicure adjustments.
- Huh. - Now, is there a reason
for this...delightful,
if unscheduled visit, because...
St. Bon's needs a softball team.
There's a hospital league.
$650 covers a roster of 16.
The team covers bats and gloves.
It'll be good for morale.
You know, I heard something
about you playing softball in Montana.
What was your average?
.394 and trending up.
Hm.
Fine. The hospital can cover registration fee and uniforms.
Gloves and bats are on you.
Next time, make an appointment.
Dr. Wolke?
Sorry to interrupt.
I'm just swiping left again. Please, interrupt.
I saw Ms. Torres is going on ampho-B.
Can we get her fiance back
so she has some emotional support?
Uh, we tried. He's not responding.
Pretty lousy time to ghost.
Maybe, but I get it.
You "get" taking off when someone needs you?
She lied to him for years.
She hid things, for pretty clear reasons.
It's still a violation of trust.
That can take a while to get over.
- Give him some time. - Great empathy for him.
Meanwhile, your patient is about to be in a lot of pain,
and you're judging her.
I'm treating her.
It is not my place to do couples therapy. Or yours.
If you don't have compassion for her, Dr. Wolke,
then maybe someone else should handle her care.
And you can go back to polishing your Tinder profile.
I have to hang her meds.
You went all out.
Mm-hmm.
You didn't have to bring those.
I stole them from the chapel.
- Oh. - God works in mysterious ways.
Are you in any pain?
No. Lying here, I'm totally fine.
It only hurts when I walk around,
but what about tomorrow, when Viktor's...here?
I got you covered.
Tylenol, a little Lidocaine cream.
Should do the trick.
You know, my mom had the sex talk with me
when I was in the fifth grade.
She showed me The Joy of Sex,
you know, that book from the '70s.
Lots of...hair.
And, uh, when I asked her to explain the pictures,
she got really awkward and then started to cry.
That's not very sex-positive.
Well, she said she was upset because I was so young
and I was asking all these questions.
I just ended up rubbing her back and making her a cup of tea.
Oh.
After wanting this for so many years, why am I so scared?
Being intimate with someone feels vulnerable,
no matter how many times you've done it.
That's why it's special.
It will be an adventure...
Your adventure, on your terms.
Have fun,
tell him what you want,
and lube is your friend.
Oh, my God.
It's all about setting the mood.
Close your eyes, Little Queenie
Go to sleep soon
Tonight, there will be no brakes.
Oh.
Only accelerators.
Oh.
Including wine.
Oh, my God.
And...
A relaxing massage.
I've researched the best massages on YouTube
and have been practicing...
On a pillow.
Okay.
Yes.
Mmm...
Mm, you have been practicing.
You are much better than a pillow.
Mm.
How's your back now?
Much better.
Would you like a chocolate?
Mm. Mm-hmm.
I love you
My Baby Blue
I love you
My Baby Blue
I love you
My Suzie Q
You took these?
Mm. On my last trip, Imperial Valley.
They're beautiful.
So...relaxed.
Just a bunch of friends hanging out.
Yeah.
There are so many images out there of the, uh, plight
of the undocumented, like we're just some sad story.
I wanted to show how we really are...
Cracking jokes, laughing,
a bunch of badasses.
Oh, not that I feel that way at the moment.
Oh!
I can call Isaac again.
Don't bother.
If he doesn't see how scary this all is,
if he can't support me, then I don't want him here.
When I was in high school,
I had a chavrusa...
A study partner.
I totally fell for him.
His close textual readings were super sexy.
We grew up Hasidic.
Micah was the first person I told about being gay...
And my first kiss.
He said he was gay, too.
That according to two verses in Samuel,
so were King David and Jonathan.
Like I said, close textual readings.
Next level.
Micah said we should be open.
We should tell our families.
I was scared, but I did,
And my dad...
...lost it.
Our home just...imploded.
But Micah backed out.
He said he couldn't do it.
I lost my family
and never spoke to Micah again.
He cut you off?
I cut him off.
He reached out to me, but I... I was so angry.
He betrayed me and...
Broke my heart.
And then I realized how terrified
he must have been, too.
And how...
Alone he must feel now.
I miss him.
O2 falling.
Is this from the ampho-B?
No.
- EKG steady. - It's not her heart.
The area around the nodule ruptured.
Your lung has collapsed. We need to get her to the O.R.
Completing final muscular suture.
Lung is reinflating nicely.
Let's finish closing her up.
Dr. Lim? Who's talking to me?
This is Nurse Martel.
Her renal panel just came back.
How bad?
B.U.N. 30, creatinine 4.
Thanks for letting us know.
It's impacting both her kidneys.
We need to get that nodule out of there.
- Now? - No.
There's still too much fungus circulating in her blood.
She needs around round of ampho-B
to clear as much fungus as we can.
Then we can do the kidney surgery.
Are you Viktor?
Brenna showed me your picture.
- I'm Dr. Allen. - Pleased to meet you.
Perhaps you could point me toward the gift shop?
I wanted to get something for Brenna.
What kind of a date shows up empty-handed?
Most of them.
I am Dr. Shaun Murphy. Give her these.
Chocolate contains tryptophan and Phenylethylamine,
which will help to elevate your moods.
Oh, they are very good.
Okay, please get started.
As soon as you are done, we can do the procedure.
Oh, uh, I owe it to Brenna not to rush.
Definitely worth the wait.
You're here.
Uh, bearing slightly used chocolates.
Uh, Dr. Murphy says they... they will improve our mood,
w-which I hope won't be necessary.
Always the gentleman.
Are you sure this isn't too strange?
Uh, well, making love in a hospital is strange.
And surprising and... and completely unique.
Exciting.
I'll be outside, guarding the door.
Try not to be too loud.
Yo. See you on the field.
I gave you your team. My involvement ends there.
You're a baller, right?
You played in college.
Yeah, I also ate instant ramen for breakfast.
I need a shortstop, a field general,
a boss of the infield. You're perfect.
I'm busy being the actual boss.
You're busy being a bad boss.
You isolate yourself from your own staff.
They don't like you.
Especially since this business with Salen.
I've got bridges to build. I'll get there eventually.
I'm offering you a bridge to build right now.
Show them you're on their team.
Maybe they'll help you right the ship.
I know. Mixed metaphor.
And by the way, maybe they'll stop bothering me
with their problems every five minutes.
Let's have sex.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Shaun! Oh, my God! I'm so sorry!
Okay.
Are you okay?
Spontaneity is not the solution.
No.
Sorry.
Okay.
Maybe we could try
more of a... planned surprise next time.
That is a good idea.
We should have a sex schedule.
Jordan recommended it.
Did you mention my morale boosting?
N-No.
Lea, that is very personal.
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
The... The sex schedule... sorry...
It just feels like the ultimate buzzkill.
Okay.
Lou the janitor mentioned something called a sex swing,
but the installation sounds very cumbersome.
Even allowing for foreplay, Viktor should be finished.
Uh...
God.
This feels worse than the last time.
The nausea, the pain...
We have to clear as much fungus from your blood
as possible before surgery.
I got your message.
Thanks for coming back.
You lied to me.
I don't know what's going on anymore.
Or what to trust.
Of course you don't.
I didn't give you a chance.
I didn't trust you, and I should have.
You don't have to forgive me,
but I-I hope you... You understand...
...why I hid from you.
Seriously, I thought they'd be done by now.
This is Dr. Shaun Murphy.
Help.
Mm.
Um...
What happened?
Well, um, we finished...
Both of us.
Yay.
Um, but we...
Um...he's...I-I-I seem to be stuck.
Oh, you must have vaginismus.
What?
Your pelvic floor is having a muscle spasm,
and it's holding...Oh!
Shaun.
It's very rare in humans,
but it is common in mammals who need to ensure fertilization.
Once your pelvic walls relax,
everything should go back to normal.
Oh, my God.
I am so sorry. You came to do me a favor,
- and now we're literally stuck. - No, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
This is a beautiful choice you made.
And now that I know that we're gonna be okay, uh...
It's actually quite nice.
Yes, it is.
That was...
Lovely.
Mm.
I owe you an apology.
It's okay.
The ice packs are really helping.
Not that.
I'm sorry for brushing you off.
You've been trying to get us out of this dry spell,
and I've done nothing.
About the sex schedule...
My parents used to have one.
They used to mark our kitchen calendar with "S.T."
They claimed it was for "Steak Tonight,"
but we didn't have steak that often.
We finally realized it stood for... "Sexy Time."
Oh.
I-I don't want my sex life to be like my parents'.
But they have been married for 42 years.
Yeah, they have.
They seem happy.
I think it is nice that they still want to touch each other.
I need to go remove some hemorrhoids.
We removed the nodule, and your kidney function is improving.
A few rounds of ampho-B to go, but we think you're in the clear.
Thank you, Dr. Park.
We'll get through this. All of it.
And I won't freak out again.
I'll step up.
I'm sorry.
Sorry it took me so long.
You and me?
Yeah. You and me.
How did I do?
The surgery was a success.
And as long as you follow the recovery protocols,
you should have no further problems.
Look who I found in the gift shop.
I wanted to see how you were doing, and, uh, give you these.
Aww.
And ask if you might be open to another visit next month.
There's a polar microbes conference in San Francisco
that I, uh, was considering attending.
I'd love that.
Cafeteria closed while you were in the O.R.,
so I sat a couple of meal trays aside.
Oh, my God. I'm starving.
Thank you.
And...
Thanks for the push.
We've got grilled salmon.
Can be a little dry,
although Ms. Shenoy in 314 seems to like it.
- Mm. - Penne pesto.
Sounds promising, I know, but lower your expectations.
- Oh. - And finally,
the humble-but-classic grilled chicken.
Mm.
Even my 5-year-old niece loves it,
and she's got the palate of a 5-year-old.
I would have gone with the pesto.
I could tell.
I'm sold.
Hit me with that chicken.
You got it.
Unless we head over to Tres Reyes,
upgrade to insanely good tamales.
Are you...asking me out?
In, like, a date-y way?
Looks like it.
Wait.
You're gay?
Nothing gets by you, huh?
An upgrade to insanely good tamales sounds perfect.
All right, Reznick!
- Way to battle. - Aw!
Park, you're up! Allen on deck.
I got some intel. First up is a fastball, followed by a change-up.
Yeah, that's because he doesn't have anything else, man.
- His curve ball's a disaster. - Good to know.
- All right. You got this. - Dilallo, in the hole.
- Oh. It's 7:45. - Yeah.
Sorry. Gotta go.
What do you mean, you gotta go?
You're... You're the cleanup hitter.
We are on a schedule.
Go, Park!
Oh!
- Strike! - Ah!
Oh, that's a ball! That was high!
0-1!
Nice turn on that double play last inning.
Thanks.
If only you could handle our schedule with the same skill.
1 and 1.
You got some ideas?
Actually, yeah.
I'm listening.
Oh!
Go, Park! Yeah! Good job, man!
Park!
It just feels a little weird.
Like we're on the clock, you know?
I would offer you a chocolate to help you relax,
but I gave them away to Viktor.
Who's Viktor?
A very nice Arctic explorer who came to the hospital
to have sex with my patient.
Oh.
How full service.
It was remarkable.
His penis got stuck in my patient's vagina.
No, it didn't.
Oh, yes, it did.
No.
It did.
Come here.
Oh.