**
Someone had a good night.
Do you think all of these people have had sex?
And if so, shouldn't they be more happy?
Maybe their experiences
weren't as recent as yours.
I think about sex with everyone.
But mostly with Carly.
She and I are very compatible.
That's great, Shaun, but H.R. might not approve.
About me thinking of sex?
No, about saying you're thinking about sex.
(CHUCKLES) And stop it.
Smiling while talking to a dying man is not cool.
Dr. Blaize recommended we speak to you
about a permanent port.
It would simplify your chemo sessions.
No more hunting for a vein every time.
Anything to help with the nausea?
It's a normal side effect.
Anything you can do for the exhaustion?
Anything...
So that my muscles don't ache?
But you can keep me from being stuck by a needle.
They're just trying to help.
I know.
All the doctors are trying to help.
**
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
But I-I don't need the port.
And I don't need any more chemo.
Of course you do.
It's going to give you more time.
Honey, I'm miserable.
**
Cerebral cavernous malformations.
Leads to bleeding, clots, seizures, muscle weakness,
even paralysis.
You have clusters of them.
And they're getting worse.
The woman at Hopkins gave me a year.
Mass General, two years.
So, what, you figured I'd give you three?
Some new treatment?
You know the treatment, Caroline... A lobectomy.
I love the way surgeons blithely suggest
cutting through my cerebral cortex
to remove part of my brain. Hmm.
Why not just take an egg slicer to my ability to paint?
Yes, it will likely lead to a curtailment
of your ability to be creative,
but all of your other faculties will remain intact.
(SIGHS)
I had a severe prognosis of my own recently.
Surgery, chemo, radiation, the works.
My greatest fear wasn't at the edges of the spectrum.
It wasn't life or death.
My greatest fear
was survival as something lesser.
Then you know.
And then I had a revelation of sorts.
Who I am, how I think of myself
isn't defined by my skill as a surgeon.
Uh, I'm seeing you as a courtesy.
I don't do this anymore.
And guess what? I'm fine.
I'm happier.
You could have 20, 30 more years with your family.
A balanced life isn't necessarily a lesser life.
I disagree.
**
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
Twenty bucks says Shaun mentions sex
in front of a patient in the next 24 hours.
He's excited.
I'm sure you were when a new world opened up.
But he knows better.
Twenty bucks. No.
Morgan. (GASPS)
Oh, I was hoping I'd see you.
Hello.
Perfect.
I was just wondering where to get lunch around here.
Any genre, as long as it's locally sourced.
Is this a friend?
I'm Caroline Reznick.
Oh, hi. (CHUCKLES)
My mother.
What are you doing here?
What beautiful eyes.
I hope...
S-someone...
P-paint...
Mom!
Mom? Mom.
Mom, can you hear me?
Code blue. We need a crash cart.
**
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
I've come to take you to lunch.
It's only 11:15.
M-Morgan told me
that it might be considered unprofessional
to discuss sex on the job.
So, when you say "lunch"...
It's sex.
I am expected to be here working.
People in the Pathology Lab
take two 15-minute breaks on their shift.
If they were combined into one
and we used the bus that stops out front at 11:25,
with one returning at 12:15,
and we borrowed some of your lunch hour...
You only require 22 minutes to eat a sandwich...
There would be just enough time
to get to your apartment and back.
Have you noticed the time you've allotted for "lunch"
is fairly short?
Long enough.
Long enough for you, not for me.
You've only had sex once in your life.
No one expects you to win awards,
and it was lovely sharing the moment.
Are you implying the sex could be improved on?
Yes.
**
Does that bother you?
No.
I have no objection to improving sex.
Although, I thought it was already excellent.
I'll work on it.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
(MONITOR BEEPING)
DR. LIM: Found the source of the bleed.
Suctioning and evacuating the clot cavity.
The Cav Mals are everywhere.
She could have a massive bleed at any time.
I thought Morgan's parents were doctors.
I heard that, too. Why would Morgan let us think...
DR. REZNICK: (LOUDLY) Maybe you should save the speculation
until your hands aren't in my mother's skull.
Use your inside voice, Morgan.
Turn down the volume.
Irrigate and remove the cottonoid.
**
DR. PARK: Why didn't she tell us she was one of those Reznicks?
Caroline Reznick, painter.
Her son's a sculptor. Daughter's a composer.
Didn't know she had another kid.
They're famous, if you're into the arts at all.
Mia got you going to galleries?
Yeah, I'm kind of loving it.
I've failed Carly twice.
Did you forget her birthday or stand her up?
Are you talking about sex?
Uh, Morgan says H.R. would prefer I avoid that word.
Just to be clear, are you saying she...
Are you saying she didn't...
There was no parade.
**
Oh.
There was a parade for me,
but there was no parade for Carly.
I want to give her a parade.
I'll continue reading.
Wait, Shaun, reading's a great start,
but Carly's a person.
You need to communicate with her, ask her what she likes.
Yes. I'll make an extensive list of questions.
It's not just about questions and answers.
Nonverbal communication is pretty key in this area.
I'm not good with nonverbal communication.
Watch her reactions.
See what Carly responds to.
You'll figure this out.
Mrs. Reznick, I'm Dr. Park.
This is Dr. Murphy, Dr. Browne.
How are you feeling?
Excellent.
And flattered that three surgeons
are here to check on me.
They're curious.
About what monster created me.
(CHUCKLES) I'm sure that's not true.
Morgan, you're smart and nice and perfectly normal.
I don't think she's all of those things.
You guys here to take her vitals,
check her for any deficits,
and maybe let her know
that she's just gonna keep getting worse and die?
Your daughter is right, Mrs. Reznick.
If you don't... Dr. Browne, the day lilies
go so well with your eyes.
Please take them.
This variety is from the Himalayas.
Please.
I really am grateful to you all.
**
I'm asking other people to take over my cases.
Check your in-box, and you'll see the three I've given you.
In your language, the word "ask"
must mean something different.
You're a caring, empathetic person,
and my mother is sick.
As long as we're having a moment of honesty,
why do you hate your family?
You told me your mother was a cardiologist.
No, you told me my mother was a cardiologist.
I can't correct all your mistakes.
Was that the mother you wanted to have?
(P.A. SYSTEM BEEPS)
WOMAN ON P.A.: Cardiac perfusionist, call the cath lab.
I used to daydream my mother was a lawyer.
That's just weird.
**
I'm Oliver.
I have a malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor,
so I've only got six months to live.
I'm Dr. Melendez.
What happened to your foot?
Skydiving.
(CHUCKLES) First time.
They coached me how to roll, but it didn't quite work out.
He rented a plane.
A small one.
All the classes were full. I did not want to wait.
You should've come with me.
I'm afraid of heights.
So was I.
Not anymore.
(CHUCKLES) Hmm.
Nothing's broken. Ice it tonight.
Try to stay off it for a few days.
I'll give you 12 hours.
Lots to do, so I might be okay with limping.
As long as I'm here,
can I get vaccinated for tropical diseases?
Thinking about moving somewhere
the weather will be perfect for the next six months.
The dry season in Costa Rica is just beginning.
Excellent.
I've always wanted to see Costa Rica.
They have mantled howler monkeys
that make this haunting call at dawn and dusk.
Wouldn't that be great to wake up to?
Oliver...
Skydiving doesn't bring happiness.
Neither do monkey howls.
You gonna tell a dying guy he can't do what he wants to do?
No.
Get me the shots.
**
What happened to the patient who was in here?
She checked herself out.
(SIGHS)
I knew I had to be in early,
so I tried not to wake you.
Appreciate it.
I've brought you
a jelly doughnut and coffee... Thank you.
...to celebrate last night's breakthrough.
What breakthrough was that?
Last night.
You had a parade.
During lunch.
You made a lot of noise.
One fairly loud noise... A moan.
Oh.
Right, right.
You had your elbow on my hair.
I had a great time last night,
and I really appreciate
how much effort you put into my happiness.
But no parade.
Parades aren't always required.
I'll keep working on it.
**
Cassie, stay in Hong Kong.
(SCOFFS)
It would be ridiculous to miss the premiere of your symphony
because of a medical glitch.
I have to go. Your sister's here. Bye.
You're in time for brunch.
I didn't know where you were staying,
if you'd left town, if you'd gone home.
I finally got your new housekeeper on the phone
and convinced her I was your daughter.
She said you never mentioned me.
Oh, Blanca's very forgetful. Pull up a chair.
Your brother's out getting salmon.
Ariel's here? He got great news.
Million-dollar commission... A bronze piece on the mall.
I'm thrilled.
Can we talk about the fact that you're dying?
No.
I'm having a good arthritis day.
Why shouldn't I feel happy?
You're so lucky you didn't inherit anything from me.
Morgan.
I thought Mom ditched the medical police.
Right, the bad guys trying to keep her alive.
We've all tried to get her to change her mind,
but you know what she's like.
I'm using a little sriracha
just to throttle your taste buds.
(GASPS) Thank you.
I've been strategizing with Cassie via e-mail,
trying to figure out a way to convince Mom...
Did it occur to either of you to mention any of this
to the only doctor in the family?
Plenty of doctors already involved.
And you barely consider yourself part of this family.
You exclude me, and it's my fault?
Morgan, in high school, kids kept asking
about my parents, the spies.
And my friend Joel at Georgetown
said you told people your parents were in the Peace Corps.
And that you were an only child.
(CHUCKLES) I got tired
of fielding questions about my famous mother.
It doesn't mean... Only child.
You're offended that you weren't in the family I completely made up?
(SIGHS)
I got tired of hearing "Your mother is so talented.
"How wonderful your brother's an artist.
"How amazing Cassie writes music.
"What do you do?"
(ELECTRIC KNIFE WHIRRING)
Mom!
Grab a towel.
(WHIRRING STOPS, KNIFE CLATTERS)
It's not just about what you do physically.
It's about setting a scene, offering inspiration.
I mean, do you know what movies she likes
or what actors she thinks are sexy?
She likes the Alien movies.
Something else?
She loves Outlander.
That is a good idea.
Where the hell is everybody?
Complex partial seizure.
Cut her finger off with an electric knife.
Knuckle's still there, but we need to get her to an O.R.
Whoa, whoa! No one touches that but the surgeon.
Bloody towels get thrown out all the time.
I'm not dumpster diving while cells die.
(MONITOR BEEPING)
**
DR. MELENDEZ: The last of the circumferential sutures.
DR. PARK: Good capillary refill in the fingertip.
What if this wasn't caused by the Cav Mals?
First the bleeding, then the seizure...
Pretty typical progression.
It's also possible the bleeding caused the seizure.
Microbleeds can cause gliosis, and that can cause a seizure.
And if the seizure was caused by gliosis,
we could simply remove that one bit of damaged tissue.
She'd still be terminal, but...
(LOUDLY) Shaun is right, but he's wrong.
ALL: Volume!
(CLICK)
(NORMAL) Shaun's idea could stop the seizures
and let her keep painting for the time she has left.
That's something she'll agree to.
Which is why he's wrong.
If she stops having the seizures,
there's no way she'll have the lobectomy
that will save her life.
We don't choose procedures in order to manipulate patients.
No, we choose procedures
based on what will have the greatest benefit.
Dr. Melendez, I'd like to excuse myself
to speak with the patient's daughter.
Please.
**
(SIGHS)
I know not disclosing a treatment
is borderline unethical,
but when there is a cure that the patient is ignoring...
You don't want her to die.
Thanks for the summation.
But have you considered it might be more than that?
This cure, it doesn't come without a cost.
To your mother.
But to you...
...if your mother loses her artistic ability,
your relationship changes.
If she loses the thing she lords over you, she...
Maybe she'd be nicer.
You hate the way she looks at you.
But that is who she is.
**
Let's try it Shaun's way.
**
DR. PARK: Sorry about this all-nighter,
but sleeplessness
will increase the odds of a seizure event.
Which isn't pleasant, but we need.
All this equipment will tell us
if it was caused by the Cav Mals or by a remote microbleed.
You want me to put on the TV?
I can find something suitably irritating.
Don't bother. I'll be staying.
"Cavernous malformations may leak blood,
"leading to brain hemorrhage, seizures,
"loss of sensation, risk of paralysis..."
If you have to do this,
can't you find some Harry Potter or something?
We can look forward.
Or we can look back.
Do you want to discuss what a lousy mother you were?
Baby, I know that stress and anger
can increase the chance of a seizure,
and you're so sweet to try...
Shall we go chronologically?
First day of preschool, when you promised to pick me up,
but you forgot because you were showing Ariel
how to underpaint with raw umber.
(SIGHS)
You wore a kilt? How'd it go?
We binge-watched six episodes of Outlander,
she fell asleep on the sofa,
so I came back to work.
Hi. I'm Oliver.
I have six months to live.
Hello, Dr. Murphy.
I'm Dr. Park.
I went out. In a new Ferrari.
But when I got home, I started to feel...dizzy,
sick to my stomach.
Fainted and hit my head.
I think I might have been poisoned by the fugu fish.
You ate a fish you knew might kill you.
You're emptying the bank accounts.
Only my retirement savings, which I'm not gonna need.
You don't have fugu poisoning.
I know because you're not already paralyzed or dead.
Ow.
We'll keep you for observation and run some tests.
Uh, how long?
We have a room booked in Costa Rica.
Enough.
I can't quit my job and move to the jungle.
Actually, you can.
I won't stay here.
You're gonna leave me?
I've invited you to come with me.
I want us to see Costa Rica together.
You're choosing the howler monkeys over me?
That's where I rank, behind the monkeys?
Bella, I love you.
I've loved our 20 years together.
I want to see Costa Rica.
I want you to come with me.
But I'm going either way.
**
Go.
I don't want to spend whatever time is left with...
Whoever you are now.
I'm happy.
I thought I made you happy.
**
Jumping ahead. The day I won the regional science fair,
beating five other schools,
including those nerds from Alston Prep,
do you know what you said to me?
That you were so glad I had something to fall back on.
I'm aware of your feelings about me as a mother.
I'm aware that our values are different.
It doesn't mean I don't love you.
I always have.
It didn't matter that you weren't creative.
(SIGHS)
You seriously don't think there's creativity in what I do?
I think that's something technical people tell themselves.
But (SIGHS) it's not a moral judgment.
It's the luck of the draw.
I'm an artist.
You're a...
Hard worker.
(SCOFFS)
August 12, 2014... Times art section.
I don't want to hear it.
"Caroline Reznick's showing at the Armory
"is a lesson in what happens when a once-interesting artist
"sits too long on her laurels."
That woman hated me for years.
She was waiting for an opportunity.
"Bad judgment doesn't begin to explain
"what went wrong with every stroke
"of this ill-conceived..."
I mean, really, how many negative words can you pile together?
And she hasn't even gotten to that part
about that Modern Madonna piece
that you were so proud of.
What... Remember what she... What she called it?
What was that? Put that thing down!
(GASPS) (MONITOR BEEPING)
**
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
I'm sorry. It's not gliosis.
I went through that for nothing?
Mom, we eliminated a possibility.
That's not nothing.
It's a day I spent in this hospital
when I could've been home working.
**
How soon can I be discharged?
You need to rest for a day.
And then we can say goodbye.
**
(SIGHS)
(LIQUID POURING)
If I only had six months to live,
I would not stop being a surgeon.
I would.
I'd move from spa to spa,
having massages and drinks with little umbrellas.
Then I'd throw a party in the penthouse of the Four Seasons.
And after everybody left,
I'd go into the marble bathroom
and painlessly self-euthanize.
(SCOFFS)
I'd obviously leave a big tip for housekeeping.
You're very like your mother.
That's not something I hear a lot.
Well, he's right.
You would reign like a queen over your own death,
insisting on absolute control.
I just meant you each have a funny way
of picking things up with both hands sometimes.
I don't think this is anatomically correct.
Hmm.
**
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hmm.
Stereotactic laser ablation.
You worked with one of the people who developed the technique.
We never used to call it that.
I never liked that name.
Also, it's never been used in Cerebral Cavernous Malformations.
Not yet.
It would allow us to target the malformations
without needing to slice all those cerebral fibers
or remove a chunk of my mother's brain.
It would have to be applied to each malformation
with exact precision.
Okay, so do that. You can't.
You're gonna make a mistake on one or two of them.
And then you got more bleeding, seizures,
you got inflamed malformations growing out of control.
You can.
(SIGHS)
Even if I was still a neurosurgeon,
which I'm not, I wouldn't.
You don't get to quit who you are.
How long has it been since you had your hands
inside the source of what makes us human?
That flow, in surgery, knowing every move
and just feeling how right it is...
That's peak existence.
(SIGHS)
I'm sorry. I'm not gonna do the surgery.
Are you s...
Are you scared to pick up a scalpel?
You had months of chemo and radiation.
Maybe it took its toll.
E-Even a 10% drop in performance would be unbearable.
Why risk finding it out?
Get out.
**
(DOOR CLOSES)
Skydiving?
Fugu?
And apparently a yellow suit. (CHUCKLES)
Do you think a deadline like he has
burns you down to who you really are?
Or does it just make you nuts and desperate?
Why can't it be both?
Hmm.
Okay, um...
A little house in the middle of nowhere.
Two chickens. One dog.
Nobody who expects anything from me.
Nobody who is even verbal.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm tired of trying to fix myself.
And I'm tired of being known as a soft touch.
(LAUGHS) Not buying it.
There's no way you would get a dog
if you only had six months to live.
Wouldn't be fair.
Okay, then I would foster a series of rescue dogs.
You said you're tired of being a soft touch,
and yet your fantasy involves helping.
We are who we are.
**
(CAR ALARM CHIRPS)
**
(SIGHS)
It's called stereotactic laser ablation.
Never liked the name.
**
He said it's minimally invasive, and if it works,
it would save my life
and allow me to continue painting.
If I win, I win everything.
And if I lose, it's over.
When you first came to see Dr. Glassman, he didn't offer this option.
Why not?
Stereotactic laser ablation is a new technique,
and it's never been used on a Cav Mal patient.
So, he just didn't think of it?
But then it came to him?
It was my idea.
Dr. Glassman didn't sugarcoat the risks.
This is the last chance you've got to keep your art.
I'm not going to complete my work if I'm dead.
**
No.
But thank you so much for trying.
**
Why didn't you back me up?
I didn't know you were gonna throw this crapshoot at us.
Do you even listen to what she's been saying?
She wants to finish her work.
She could live another 40 years,
and her art would grow with her.
Don't pretend those words mean anything to you.
You don't give a damn about art.
Her family could grow with her...
Her children, her grandchildren.
You and her don't give a damn about anything except for art.
You need to listen to me and do what I tell you.
This is why we didn't call you.
(SIGHS)
The competition in that family
must have been like a buzz saw.
Okay. Please.
(SIGHS)
It's perfectly reasonable to get out of a game you can't win.
You did everything right...
Moved 3,000 miles, found your own calling,
a career people respect and value.
Actually, there's a good comparative measure for how people value things.
We call it money.
And my brother's already a million dollars ahead.
See how you went straight to your brother?
Did you ever think he might be tired of being your competitor?
He won a long time ago.
That's why I left that dysfunctional world behind.
Really?
Because it seems to me you re-created the competition you grew up with
the very first day you got here.
**
Shingles? Like, from chicken pox?
The virus was dormant,
then your chemo suppressed your immune system,
and the virus woke up.
SHAUN: It can be painful,
but the treatment is very simple.
Do you want us to call your wife?
No, thank you.
Just fix me up and release me into the wild.
Back to the bucket list.
She was right.
I'm not the same person.
I'm doing what we all should be doing.
We all want to cut loose,
but we're just too practical.
If this had not happened,
I might've lived to be 90, never looking up.
Dr. Murphy, what do you want to do
that you just haven't done yet? What makes you happy?
I want to give Carly... Shaun.
Oh.
I like a crisp apple.
The way the sunlight hits my bedsheets
in the morning in a perfect square.
I like the movement of wind in leaves.
And the way the circumference of a circle
is always equal to pi times the diameter,
no matter what numbers you put in.
You like the happiness of small things.
Yes.
Your happiness is too loud.
**
(LAUGHS)
Shake your head again.
Didn't he have a muscle issue?
His range of motion seems good.
All the better for zip-lining in Costa Rica, right?
Not right.
We need more tests.
**
(SIGHS)
I'm sorry.
I know we want the same things.
I'd like to show you something.
**
DR. REZNICK: Neurons that fire together wire together.
One neuron goes off, exciting the next,
creating a pathway in the brain
that wasn't there before.
Every time Mom takes a brushstroke,
every time you use a chisel.
It's like we're creating ourselves in the choices we make.
We are creating this.
It's beautiful.
**
We target each malformation
with a thermal laser probe.
Just the malformation.
The trajectory has to be perfect.
You can't paint over it.
**
You could show this to Mom.
But from you, she'll accept it.
**
(MONITOR BEEPING)
DR. GLASSMAN: Inserting the laser probe into the cooling catheter.
**
Locked and loaded. Ready to fire.
DR. PARK: Dr. Glassman,
are you sure of this location?
It seems significantly far
from what we saw on her pre-surgical MRIs.
You know what the brain and breakfast cereal have in common?
Contents tend to shift during transport.
Yes, I'm quite sure.
(LASER BUZZING)
**
(CLICK)
First ablation complete.
**
(SIGHS)
Now we just have to do it perfectly nine more times.
**
It's gone?
DR. PARK: Well, not quite. But close.
The recent infections got into the tumor.
Which allowed your immune system to find it.
But they said it was an aggressive cancer.
What makes a cancer aggressive
is its ability to evade the immune system.
That's no longer true about yours.
(SCOFFS)
**
The tumor has become small enough to remove surgically.
We can make an appointment to do that in a few days,
once the infection has fully cleared your system.
Meanwhile, you can go home.
Congratulations.
**
Home?
How do you feel?
Tired.
Of being in this place.
Reasonable answer.
Do you feel your creativity's impaired?
(SIGHS)
(CHUCKLES) Isn't that the graphic you use to sign your paintings?
Thank you for knowing that.
Ariel was afraid you'd feel vandalized.
Ah, don't be silly. We'll auction off the door.
(SIGHS)
Mom, you've thanked your doctors,
but you haven't said anything to Morgan.
You know, getting out of this mess intact,
that's down to her.
Oh, yes, I know.
**
I owe you everything.
Thank you...
For saving my life.
You're welcome.
**
(SIGHS)
Our little plodder came through.
Not everybody gets a parade.
Maybe Carly doesn't have them.
Maybe I haven't practiced enough.
I've worked on my surgical technique
for hundreds of hours.
You can't just take the pizza out of the freezer and dig in.
You have to put it in the microwave first.
Actually, Dr. Lim,
a toaster oven is better for the crust.
She's not talking about pizza, Shaun.
Mm.
Men your age run out of patience.
They turn off the microwave before that pizza's ready.
You want to give a parade, Shaun?
Yes.
You want to give a great parade?
Are there differences in parades?
Some have balloons and marching bands.
Other parades are sparsely attended.
I want Carly to have the best parade possible.
I know you do.
Just as you want to be the best surgeon possible.
When you're in the O.R., you commit totally.
You persevere. Everything else falls away.
You focus entirely on what you're doing.
That's your superpower.
Now I want you to take Carly home
and work that parade route
and don't stop until the band begins playing.
And then go 3% longer.
I will.
(KEVIN MORBY'S PARADE PLAYS)
**
See you tomorrow.
All that focus.
Strangely intriguing.
**
If I only had six months to live,
I wouldn't want to be anywhere but where I am.
**
* If you come to find out who you are
* And may you find out
* May find you find out who you are
Are you getting on?
* If you come to search for what is lost
No.
* Then may you find it
* May you find it at any cost
* If you come over from far
* May it not touch you or ever do you harm
**
* Passing slowly through the town
* My feet, they cannot touch the ground
* Of the parade *
**
(SIGHS)
**