1 00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:08,375 [ GRUNTS ] 2 00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:10,043 I KNOW YOU SAID DRESSING ON THE SIDE, 3 00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,912 BUT I GOT A LITTLE EXCITED. 4 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,282 DC APPROVED! 5 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:19,052 ♪ THEY'RE JUST TWO BEST BUDS 6 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:22,722 ♪ FRIENDSHIP IS COMPLEX 7 00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:25,625 ♪ CRIME AIN'T GONNA STOP 'EM FROM METROPOLIS TO GOTHAM ♪ 8 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,861 ♪ WEARING CAPES ON THEIR NECKS 9 00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:30,497 ♪ WELL, ONE HAS AN "S" 10 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:33,633 ♪ AND YOU KNOW ONE HAS A BAT 11 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,468 ♪ ONE BANGS A REPORTER 12 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,003 ♪ AND THE OTHER BANGS A CHICK 13 00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:39,572 ♪ WHO'S A FUCKING CAT 14 00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:41,274 ♪ OH, SAVING THE DAY 15 00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:42,876 ♪ HAVING ASSLOADS OF FUN 16 00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:45,678 ♪ THE ALIEN IS STRONGER 'CAUSE OF OUR YELLOW SUN ♪ 17 00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:46,913 ♪ THEY'RE TWO BEST BUDS 18 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,381 ♪ THEY'RE INSEPARABLE FRIENDS 19 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:51,084 ♪ THEY'RE NEVER GONNA ARGUE OVER WHOSE PENIS IS LONGER ♪ 20 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,486 ♪ 'CAUSE THEY'RE BROS TO THE END ♪ 21 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,288 IT'S THE "ROBOT CHICKEN 22 00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:59,259 DC COMICS SPECIAL 3 -- MAGICAL FRIENDSHIP!" 23 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:00,493 [ HORNS HONKING ] 24 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,595 THIS IS A NICE RIDE, BATMAN. 25 00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:03,963 -REAL LEATHER? -BAT SKIN. 26 00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:05,765 IT'S EXPENSIVE, BUT, YOU KNOW, BILLIONAIRE. 27 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,267 I GET THE THEME, BUT THAT SEEMS A LITTLE CRUEL. 28 00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,701 I HATE BATS. 29 00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,670 YOU SHOULD SEE THE CAVE WHEN ALFRED GOES ON VACATION. 30 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,205 GUANO EVERYWHERE. FUCK'EM. 31 00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,240 LEARNING SOMETHING ABOUT MY BUDDY. 32 00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:15,708 IT'S GOOD TO CATCH UP LIKE THIS. 33 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,143 HOW WAS YOUR TIME IN SPACE? 34 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,879 AH, YOU KNOW, HAD TO CLEAR OUT SOME DAXAMITES HIDING ON SATURN. 35 00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:21,146 YOU EVER GET OUT TO SATURN? 36 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:22,982 NO, I CAN'T SURVIVE IN SPACE. 37 00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:25,218 OH, RIGHT, BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY POWERS. 38 00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,520 WELL, TURNS OUT SATURN'S A LOT LIKE DAXAM. 39 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,956 -YOU EVER REALIZE THAT? -I'VE NEVER BEEN TO DAXAM. 40 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:32,125 OH, RIGHT, BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY POWERS. 41 00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:34,060 WELL, AS I'M ROUNDING THEM UP, ONE GOES, 42 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:36,062 "WAIT, THIS ISN'T DAXAM?" 43 00:01:36,128 --> 00:01:37,330 AND I -- [LAUGHS] -- 44 00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:39,466 AND I GO, "DO YOU THINK THE WEST CONTINENT 45 00:01:39,532 --> 00:01:41,868 WAS STILL CELEBRATING LORD DAXAM'S THIRD AGE, 46 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,237 YOU FILTHY DAXAMITE?" GET IT? 47 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,940 I SAID I'VE NEVER BEEN TO DAXAM. 48 00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:50,176 WELL, GUESS YOU HAD TO BE THERE. 49 00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:51,845 [ HORNS HONKING ] 50 00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:54,047 HOW LONG TILL THE HALL OF JUSTICE? 51 00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:55,247 WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT SHOW 52 00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:56,382 THAT WAS JUST LIKE "KNIGHT RIDER" 53 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:57,783 EXCEPT WITH A MOTORCYCLE? 54 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,853 I THINK FRANK FONTANA FROM "MURPHY BROWN" WAS IN IT? 55 00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:00,987 YOU REMEMBER THAT? 56 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,155 -OH, "STREET HAWK." -"STREET HAWK." 57 00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:03,289 [ COMPUTER CLICKING ] 58 00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:06,593 "STREET HAWK"! 59 00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:07,794 SO, THE LEGION OF DOOM 60 00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,395 IS TARGETING THE STRATEGIC OIL RESERVES. 61 00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:11,364 WAIT, SORRY, WHO'S THE NEW GUY? 62 00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:13,366 THAT'S THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE -- 63 00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,501 GUY WITH A ROCK. 64 00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:15,602 HEY, PLEASED TO MEET YOU. 65 00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:17,770 -THIS GUY'S A SUPERHERO? -OF COURSE. 66 00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,339 AND JUST WHAT ARE HIS POWERS? 67 00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:20,406 SHOW HIM, GUY WITH A ROCK. 68 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,877 [ GRUNTING ] 69 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:24,978 HYAH! 70 00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:26,379 YEAH! ALL RIGHT! 71 00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:29,449 SO "GUY WITH A ROCK" IS JUST A GUY WITH A ROCK? 72 00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,484 HEY, G-ROCK HAS BEEN THOROUGHLY VETTED. 73 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:34,821 DAMN IT, SUPERMAN, IS THIS MORE OF YOUR "HILARIOUS" COMMENTARY 74 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:36,089 ON HOW I HAVE NO POWERS? 75 00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:37,724 HEY, HEY, THIS ISN'T ALL ABOUT YOU. 76 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,692 GREEN ARROW IS ALSO A POWERLESS MUGGLE. 77 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:42,462 WHAT?! "F" YOU IN THE "A"! I'M OUT OF HERE! 78 00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:45,331 [ GRUNTING ] 79 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,700 DAMN DOOR IS STUCK AGAIN! 80 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,570 HYAH! 81 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,171 DAMN IT! 82 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:55,041 [ LAUGHTER ] 83 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,310 HERE'S YOUR HUNDRED BUCKS. WELL SPENT. 84 00:02:57,377 --> 00:03:00,280 YOU KNOW, I COULD REALLY USE STEADY EMPLOYMENT, 85 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,314 SO IF THERE'S -- 86 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:02,282 JUST GET OUT OF HERE! 87 00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:05,151 [ CHEERING ] 88 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,353 [ CLUCKING ] 89 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,322 DING, DING. 90 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:11,224 [ SQUAWKS ] 91 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:12,425 [ WHIMPERING ] 92 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,160 Man on TV: WE NOW RETURN TO 93 00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:16,763 "GRUMPY CAT'S WORST CHRISTMAS EVER." 94 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:19,866 Grumpy Cat: CHRISTMAS IS RUINED, MEOW, MEOW. 95 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,801 [ PURRING ] 96 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,203 HEY, BATMAN, WHAT'S THIS LOCKED FILE? 97 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:25,338 [ SIGHS ] I SUPPOSE IT'S TIME 98 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,006 I SHARED THIS SECRET WITH YOU, ROBIN. 99 00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:29,642 I KEEP A DOSSIER ON EVERY SUPERHERO. 100 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,844 OH, LIKE BIRTHDAYS, ALLERGIES? 101 00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:36,115 NO, ROBIN, HOW TO KILL THEM. 102 00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:37,517 SUPERMAN HAS BEEN EARTH'S GREATEST CHAMPION -- 103 00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,052 JUST ASK HIM. 104 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,588 BUT IF HE TURNED EVIL, IT COULD MEAN EARTH'S TOTAL ANNIHILATION. 105 00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:42,889 THAT'S WHY I BUILT THIS -- 106 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,891 A BATARANG FASHIONED FROM HIS ONE WEAKNESS -- 107 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,892 KRYPTONITE. 108 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,627 I PRAY NEVER TO HAVE TO USE IT. 109 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:50,597 ANYWAY, THAT'S LUNCH. SO YOU WANT SUBWAY TODAY OR -- 110 00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:51,864 WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER HEROES? 111 00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:53,366 [ SIGHS ] 112 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:56,369 THE KEY TO STOPPING THE FASTEST MAN ALIVE -- MISDIRECTION. 113 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,742 WELL, I'M OUT. 114 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,877 [ SCREAMS ] 115 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,414 Robin: FIRE IS HIS ONE WEAKNESS! 116 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:09,749 YEAH, FIRE IS EVERYONE'S WEAKNESS. 117 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:10,883 IT'S FUCKING FIRE. 118 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:15,555 BUT I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CASH. 119 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:18,391 WE'LL WORK SOMETHING OUT -- WINK, WINK. 120 00:04:18,457 --> 00:04:20,360 OOPS! THAT BELONGS IN A DIFFERENT FOLDER! 121 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,695 OOH, WHAT ABOUT MY FILE?! 122 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:23,963 WHY'S MY FILE EMPTY? 123 00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:26,499 UH, ANYWAY, THAT'S LUNCH. SHAKEY'S OR -- 124 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,234 NO, BATMAN, I WANT TO KNOW! 125 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,603 IF I TURNED EVIL, WHAT INGENIOUS PLAN 126 00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,005 HAVE YOU DEVISED IN ORDER -- 127 00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:33,740 OW! I GIVE UP, I GIVE UP! 128 00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:35,975 JUST KIND OF LIKE THAT. 129 00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:38,878 MA, I GOT HERE AS QUICKLY AS I COULD. 130 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,114 WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY? -HELLO, SUPERMAN. 131 00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,983 OR SHOULD I SAY KAL-EL? 132 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,718 YOU ARE KAL-EL, RIGHT? 133 00:04:45,784 --> 00:04:47,954 SON OF JOR-EL AND LARA. 134 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,324 I'M TRANSAR. I'M A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR FROM KRYPTON. 135 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:53,626 I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL OVER THE UNIVERSE 136 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:55,128 FOR MANY, MANY YEARS. 137 00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:57,230 WHAT? NO, NO, KRYPTON WAS DESTROYED. 138 00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:59,198 I'M REALLY SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS. 139 00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:00,733 KRYPTON IS FINE. 140 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,370 YOU SEE, YOUR PARENTS WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A NASTY DIVORCE, 141 00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:05,672 AND YOUR MOM'S LAWYER, 142 00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:08,374 A WOMAN BY THE NAME OF BAR-EL -- NO RELATION -- 143 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:10,143 WELL, SHE'S A HELL OF A DIVORCE LAWYER. 144 00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,679 AND SO YOUR DAD KEPT THREATENING TO PUT YOU IN A ROCKET 145 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:15,281 AND BLAST YOU OFF INTO SPACE IF YOUR MOM DIDN'T BACK OFF. 146 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:16,749 NOBODY BELIEVED HE'D REALLY DO IT. 147 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,017 I MEAN, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, 148 00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,585 YOU READ ABOUT ONE OF THESE CUSTODY BATTLES 149 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:21,154 WHERE A PARENT KILLS THEIR OWN KID 150 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:22,588 AS A WAY OF HURTING THE OTHER PARENT, 151 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,691 BUT OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING THAT HORRIFIC IS PRETTY RARE. 152 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:27,794 BUT ON THE DAY OF THE MEDIATION, NO ONE COULD FIND JOR-EL. 153 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:30,129 AND YOUR MOM'S ATTORNEY ASKED JOR-EL'S ATTORNEY, 154 00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:32,265 A GUY NAMED BRAUN-EL -- AGAIN, NO RELATION. 155 00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:34,967 SHE ASKED BRAUN-EL WHERE THE HELL JOR-EL WAS. 156 00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:36,369 YOU SEE, EVERYONE HAD AGREED TO MEET 157 00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,838 ON A TIME THAT JOR-EL HAD INSISTED ON -- 158 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,339 AT LIKE 11:00 IN MORNING OR 10:00 -- 159 00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:41,474 WHATEVER, IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. 160 00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:42,709 I DON'T KNOW WHY I TOLD YOU THAT PART. 161 00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:44,744 SO ANYWAY, THEY'RE ALL STANDING IN THE DRIVEWAY 162 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:45,912 IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE, YOU KNOW, 163 00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:47,914 AND EVERYONE'S WONDERING WHERE IS JOR-EL. 164 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:52,085 AND THEN THEY HEAR SOMEONE SHOUT, "HEY, YOU DUMB BITCH!" 165 00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:54,120 SORRY FOR THE BLUE LANGUAGE, MA'AM. THAT'S WHAT HE SAID. 166 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,421 AND THEY ALL LOOK UP, 167 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:58,457 AND STANDING ON THE BALCONY IS YOUR DAD. 168 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,593 AND HE'S HOLDING A REMOTE-CONTROL THINGIE, 169 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,795 AND HE SAYS, "HEY, YOU DUMB BITCH!" 170 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,230 AGAIN, I'M SORRY, MA'AM. 171 00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:05,364 THOSE WERE HIS WORDS. 172 00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:07,266 "YOU CAN HAVE THE HOUSE AND THE CAR, 173 00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,836 BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE THE FUCKING BABY." 174 00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:12,171 AND HE PRESSES A BUTTON ON THE REMOTE, 175 00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:15,308 AND A GODDAMN ROCKET LIFTS OFF FROM THE ROOF, 176 00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:16,409 AND YOU WERE IN IT. 177 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:17,844 I MEAN, IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. 178 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,979 SO, OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, THEY TOOK HIM RIGHT TO JAIL. 179 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,783 AND YOUR MOM'S ATTORNEY HIRED ME TO GO LOOKING FOR YOU. 180 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,585 AND AFTER SEARCHING HALF THE GODDAMN UNIVERSE, 181 00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:28,154 HERE WE ARE. 182 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,956 THAT'S PROBABLY A LOT OF INFORMATION TO TAKE IN, 183 00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:31,023 ISN'T IT? 184 00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:32,125 IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE, 185 00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:33,459 COULD I HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE? 186 00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:37,130 COME ON! WE'LL BE SAFE IN THIS ALLEY! 187 00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:39,899 BANK ROBBERS! ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A SAFE! 188 00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:43,202 TOO BAD PLASTIC MAN'S HERE TO BOUNCE YOUR CHECK. 189 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,037 -RUBBER MAN! -HUH? 190 00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:46,572 PLASTIC DOESN'T STRETCH. 191 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,274 YOU'RE RUBBER MAN. 192 00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,643 THE ROBBER IS REFERRING TO PLASTIC AS A NOUN, 193 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:53,412 BUT PLASTIC AS AN ADJECTIVE, FOR EXAMPLE IN THE NAME PLASTIC MAN, 194 00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:54,947 MEANS EASILY SHAPED OR MOLDED. 195 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:56,883 THAT'S ALSO WHERE THE TERM PLASTIC SURGERY COMES FROM. 196 00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,017 [ CHUCKLES ] 197 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,318 WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? 198 00:07:03,055 --> 00:07:04,657 YOU'RE TOO LATE, DETECTIVE. 199 00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:08,661 ONCE I ENTER THE LAZARUS PIT, I'LL BECOME FULLY REJUVENATED. 200 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,531 [ LAUGHING ] 201 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,266 WAIT, WHAT?! 202 00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:15,468 OKAY, VERY FUNNY! NOW, HELP ME OUT. 203 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,503 SURE, LET MET JUST -- OOPS! 204 00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,372 THAT WAS FUNNY FOR LIKE A SECOND. 205 00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:20,773 I SHOULD HAVE PUT A LADDER IN HERE. 206 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,476 HEY, THIS THING'S, LIKE, FOUR FEET DEEP! 207 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:26,379 I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS, MOTHER FUCKER 208 00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,184 WELL, I JUST KILLED A BABY. 209 00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,086 Employee: UH, MR. CY BORG. 210 00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:35,822 -OH, HERE. -OH, HERE. 211 00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:39,091 OH, MY FALLEN PARENTS, HOW I MISS YOU. 212 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:40,459 BATMAN, WE'VE GOT TO -- OH. 213 00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:41,794 YOU'RE STILL DOING THIS, HUH? 214 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:44,964 IT'S CALLED A DAY OF MOURNING, BUTTHOLE, NOT 15 MINUTES. 215 00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,132 BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT 216 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,967 BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU. 217 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,435 NOT TRUE! I LOST LOIS! 218 00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:50,770 THEN I TURNED BACK TIME 219 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,839 BY FLYING AROUND THE WORLD AND FIXING EVERYTHING! 220 00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:55,474 WELL, WE DON'T ALL HAVE THAT POWER, NOW, DO WE? 221 00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:56,976 IT'S NOT ABOUT POWERS. 222 00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,345 IT'S ABOUT HOW MUCH LOVE IS IN YOUR HEART. 223 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:02,181 BUT, BUT -- ANYONE CAN TURN BACK TIME, EVEN YOU. 224 00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:03,749 HUH? FOR REAL? 225 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,151 YOU'VE JUST GOT TO WANT IT. 226 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,385 I DO WANT IT! 227 00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:08,487 THEN RUN! RUN WITH YOUR HEART. 228 00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,189 [ PANTING ] GET OUT OF MY WAY! 229 00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:12,825 [ GRUNTING ] 230 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,795 I'M COMING, MOMMY! 231 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,964 [ HORN BLARES ] 232 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:19,398 [ PANTING ] 233 00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:21,234 THIS SEEMS REALLY MEAN, SUPERMAN. 234 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,169 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE IN HIS KILL FILE, TOO. 235 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,838 YEAH, YOU CAN DO IT, BATMAN! FASTER! 236 00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:29,475 BEWARE THE MIGHTY SIMON, WHOSE VAST MENTAL POWERS 237 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,777 ALLOW HIM TO CONTROL VIRTUALLY ANYONE'S MIND 238 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,914 AND MOVE ANY OBJECT THROUGH HIS INCREDIBLE TELEKINESIS. 239 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,482 OH! 240 00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:40,186 UH... 241 00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:42,355 [ PANTING ] 242 00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:44,222 I HOPE WE'RE NOT DISTURBING YOU. 243 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,359 SOMEONE'S GOT TO INSPIRE YOU GUYS, RIGHT? 244 00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:47,360 EH? 245 00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:48,494 YEAH, MY DEAD PARENTS 246 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,696 AND YOUR ARMPITS REALLY PUSH ME FORWARD. 247 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:53,432 BATMAN, TAKE CARE WITH THE COSMIC TREADMILL. 248 00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:56,202 I USE IT TO RACE BEYOND THE LIMITS OF TIME AND SPACE. 249 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,470 DON'T WORRY, FLASH. 250 00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,939 BATMAN'S NOT GONNA BREAK ANY LAND SPEED RECORDS. 251 00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,307 [ GRUNTS ] 252 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,481 [ GRUNTING ] 253 00:09:08,547 --> 00:09:10,383 MOVE YOUR DICKS, I'M COMING THROUGH! 254 00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:13,152 OH, GROSS, DUDE! GET A TOWEL! 255 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,720 [ ALARM BLARING ] HUH, WHAT?! 256 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,188 FIRE, FIRE! 257 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,791 EVERYBODY OUT! FIRE ALARM, PEOPLE! 258 00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,226 OH, HELLO, CITIZENS. 259 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,261 -IS THAT BATMAN?! -I -- 260 00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:23,462 HEY, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! 261 00:09:25,364 --> 00:09:26,565 NOTHING -- NOTHING TO WATCH HERE! 262 00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:27,700 I'M JUST TAKING A STROLL! 263 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,869 UH, CITIZEN, MA'AM, GOOD TO SEE YOU. 264 00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:32,705 HELLO, HELLO. YES, I AM THE NIGHT. HELLO. 265 00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,875 MONGUL'S WAR MACHINE HAS KILLED THOUSANDS IN EL SALVADOR. 266 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:37,944 ITS NEXT TARGET APPEARS TO BE -- 267 00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:40,046 BATMAN'S BALLS! 268 00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:41,180 [ LAUGHTER ] 269 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,149 WHO THE HELL PULLED THE FIRE ALARM?! 270 00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:45,117 IT'S A REGULARLY SCHEDULED DRILL. 271 00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:46,953 MUST NOT HAVE CCed YOU ON THE OLD MEMO. 272 00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:48,054 WAIT A MINUTE! 273 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,090 IF YOU'RE BATMAN, WHO'S THIS GUY? 274 00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,225 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] 275 00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:55,628 HEY, BATMAN WAS A NO-SHOW, SO I GRABBED THE JANITOR. 276 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:56,996 ONE GUY IN A BATMAN COSTUME 277 00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,531 IS JUST AS GOOD AS ANY OTHER, RIGHT? 278 00:09:58,597 --> 00:09:59,865 [ GROWLING ] 279 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,467 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] 280 00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,605 OKAY, SO THE LEAGUE ORDERED YOU INTO MANDATORY THERAPY, EH? 281 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,607 THAT'S ALWAYS FUN FOR ME. 282 00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:11,043 SO, YOU TWO FIGHT LIKE CATS AND DOGS -- 283 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,445 YES, WOULD THAT BE A FAIR WAY TO PUT IT? 284 00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:14,880 MORE LIKE BATS AND DOGS. UP HIGH. 285 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,415 WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 286 00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:19,051 BECAUSE BATS RHYMES WITH CATS, THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE? 287 00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,187 SEE? HE'S JUST CRANKY BECAUSE I POINTED OUT 288 00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:24,256 THAT A RICH GUY WITH NO POWERS IN A BAT SUIT IS COSPLAY. 289 00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,225 AT ANIME EXPO, YOU'RE A DIME A DOZEN. 290 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:29,362 COSPLAY? ANIME EXPO? THOSE AREN'T EVEN WORDS! 291 00:10:29,428 --> 00:10:32,131 JUST GARBAGE FALLING OUT OF THE STUPID SQUARE-JAWED FACE 292 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,466 OF A SUPER PIECE OF SHIT! 293 00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:35,401 GUYS, I'M EXCITED. 294 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,602 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU SOME STRATEGIES 295 00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,437 THAT ARE GONNA GET YOU BOTH OUT OF THIS RUT, 296 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,406 BECAUSE YOU'RE BOTH TIRED OF THIS, RIGHT? 297 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,142 THIS ISN'T ANY FUN, RIGHT, THE ARGUING? 298 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,577 AND IT SHOULD BE FUN! 299 00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:47,313 BEING A SUPERHERO SHOULD BE A LOT OF FUN! 300 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,949 WE SAVE THE DAY AND PEOPLE LOOK UP TO US, 301 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:52,251 AND WE HAVE THESE GREAT BODIES AND WE'RE PHYSICAL 302 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,787 AND WE WEAR THESE TIGHT CLOTHES AND CAPES AND BOOTS THAT SAY, 303 00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:57,289 "LOOK AT US, WE'RE HAVING A BALL!" 304 00:10:57,356 --> 00:10:59,125 BUT YOU TWO ARE NOT HAVING A BALL. 305 00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:00,826 BUT THAT'S OKAY, AND WE'RE GONNA FIX IT. 306 00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,361 IT WON'T BE FAST AND IT WON'T BE EASY, 307 00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:03,929 BUT IF YOU'RE WILLING TO DO THE WORK -- 308 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:07,400 OH, NO, I HEAR THE BAT SIGNAL! 309 00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:08,734 [ ENGINE TURNS OVER, TIRES SCREECH ] 310 00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,203 THAT WILL BE $400. 311 00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:16,142 YEAH, MR. PAYDAY! 312 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:18,577 OH, COME ON! 313 00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:20,546 [ TONE RINGS ] 314 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,348 [ WHISTLING AND CHIRPING ] 315 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,058 [ GRUNTING ] 316 00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:34,894 I UNDERSTAND LOSING TO THE DARK KNIGHT, 317 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,362 BUT THAT LITTLE TWERP? 318 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:40,132 YEAH, SOMETHING ABOUT THE BOY WONDER JUST THROWS PEOPLE OFF. 319 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,134 WE'LL SEE ABOUT THA... 320 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,070 EH? 321 00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:48,207 [ GRUNTS ] 322 00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:55,014 SO...SMOOTH! 323 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:58,050 ♪♪ 324 00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:09,228 MMM! 325 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,663 HUH? 326 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,199 [ GRUNTS ] 327 00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,401 CALL ME A DIME A DOZEN? 328 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,470 YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY SUPERMAN IN THE UNIVERSE? 329 00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:19,371 WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT. 330 00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:21,507 OH, WHAT IS THIS SETTING? 331 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,042 OH, MOUNTAIN TERRAIN. 332 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,977 I'M TRYING TO OPEN AN INTER-DIMENSIONAL PORTAL, 333 00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:27,780 NOT BUST SOME QUADS. COME ON! 334 00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,515 OH, DEAR GOD, I'M SERIOUSLY OUT OF SHAPE. 335 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,950 OH, THERE WE GO! 336 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,322 WHY THE HELL IS DR. FATE OUT OF NETWORK? 337 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:37,556 $400?! 338 00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:38,790 THANKS, OBAMA. 339 00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:39,925 OH, HEY, EVERYBODY. 340 00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:42,094 MIND IF MY NEW FRIEND SITS IN ON A MEETING? 341 00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:43,963 [ GASPING ] WHAT? IT'S NO BIG DEAL -- 342 00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:46,832 JUST ANOTHER SUPERMAN I FOUND ON EARTH B. 343 00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,167 THEY'RE A DIME A DOZEN. 344 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:49,401 NICE TRY, BATS. 345 00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:50,970 BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S AS GOOD AS ME. 346 00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:52,037 I BROUGHT MUFFINS! 347 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,973 -MUFFINS! -OH, MUFFINS! 348 00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:57,042 Flash: I LIKE THIS SUPERMAN! 349 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,577 RED VELVET, HUH? 350 00:12:58,644 --> 00:12:59,678 I'LL SHOW THEM. 351 00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:01,614 I CAN BAKE. I JUST CHOOSE NOT TO. 352 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,682 I HOPE NO ONE ATE THE BANANA MUFFIN, 353 00:13:03,749 --> 00:13:05,351 'CAUSE THAT ONE'S GOT MY NAME ON IT. 354 00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:08,554 BETTER BE MORE SPECIFIC, OR IT MIGHT GET EATEN. 355 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,755 YOU SON A OF A BITCH! 356 00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:12,324 ANOTHER BATMAN?! DID YOU BRING MUFFINS, TOO? 357 00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:15,261 I DID NOT, MY FINE SUPER COMPANIONS. 358 00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:18,731 I DIDN'T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE WITH A GLUTEN ALLERGY. 359 00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:20,199 HE IS VERY CONSIDERATE. 360 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:23,035 OH, PLEASE, WHAT CAN THIS BATMAN DO THAT I CAN'T?! 361 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,672 [ SCATTING ] 362 00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,641 WHAT A DANCER! 363 00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:30,376 -GAH! -OH, NO, YOU DON'T! 364 00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:33,078 GET READY FOR A TASTE OF SUPERMAN FROM EARTH D -- 365 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,413 FOR DICK! 366 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,815 WELL, YOU'RE ALREADY THE BATMAN FROM EARTH YOUR MOM! 367 00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:41,320 YES! YES, I WIN! 368 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:42,821 COME TO PAPA! 369 00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:45,424 [ CHUCKLES ] 370 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,092 -WHAT?! -DEAR GOD! 371 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,594 IT'S HALF A MONSTER! 372 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,563 HE -- HE'S SOME SORT OF -- 373 00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:52,131 COMPOSITE SUPERMAN! 374 00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:54,433 COMPOSITE BATMAN, YOU BASTARD! 375 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,834 NOT IF I TELL PEOPLE FIRST! 376 00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,436 FOOLS! 377 00:13:57,503 --> 00:14:00,773 SOON THIS WORLD AND EVERY WORLD IN THE MULTIVERSE 378 00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:03,509 WILL BOW TO ME! 379 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,078 [ LAUGHING ] 380 00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:09,515 OOH! "BJ AND THE BEAR"! 381 00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:10,816 YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS. 382 00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:14,153 BATMAN AND I WERE -- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 383 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,855 DID WE BREAK THE MULTIVERSE? 384 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:20,826 Wonder Woman: UH, IS THIS GOOD OR BAD? 385 00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:22,661 -[ CHIMP SCREECHES ] -BAD! 386 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,563 [ WHOOPING ] 387 00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:32,671 WE'VE GOT A DEFCON RED MULTIVERSE SITUATION! 388 00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,111 -OH! -I DON'T WANT TO -- 389 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,913 HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! NOT SO FAST. 390 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,048 [ CHUCKLING ] 391 00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:44,683 HYAH! I WIN! 392 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:46,252 I'M UNSTOPPABLE! 393 00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:48,287 PAPER BEATS ROCK, BRO. 394 00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:50,322 NOT APPROVED, NOT APPROVED! 395 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,358 [ SNARLING ] 396 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:56,228 ♪♪ 397 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:04,603 MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF DOOM... 398 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,641 WHAT IN THE -- WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? 399 00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:11,143 I'M LEX LUTHOR, HAIRDRESSER TO THE STARS. 400 00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:14,280 A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND HAIRDRESSER TO THE STARS? 401 00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:15,514 CRIMINAL MASTERMIND? 402 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,849 THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. 403 00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:18,017 PEOPLE LOVE ME! 404 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,252 I HAVE HAIR! WATCH THIS! 405 00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:24,523 BOOP, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP! [ CHEERING ] 406 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,225 [ GRUNTING ] 407 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,195 [ GRUNTS ] 408 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,196 [ GRUNTS ] 409 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,564 HELLO, SUPERMAN? 410 00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:34,333 HEY, ORDINARILY FUCK YOU, 411 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,568 BUT IS THERE ANYTHING WEIRD GOING ON OVER THERE? 412 00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,270 UH, DEFINE WEIRD. 413 00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:41,340 OH, I DON'T KNOW, JUST WEIRD -- LIKE, OUT OF THE ORDINARY. 414 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:43,108 NOPE. EVERYTHING'S GOOD OVER HERE. 415 00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:44,510 AND YOU? -COULDN'T BE BETTER. 416 00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:45,778 JUST CHECKING. TAKE CARE. 417 00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:47,246 GO FUCK YOURSELF. BYE! 418 00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:48,080 [ GRUNTS ] 419 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,782 [ LAUGHING ] 420 00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:54,820 FIRST APPEARING IN 1961, 421 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:56,889 THE COSMIC TREADMILL ALLOWED THE FLASH 422 00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:59,692 TO TRAVEL TO THE 21st CENTURY TO FACE PROFESSOR ZOOM. 423 00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:00,693 [ GRUNTS ] 424 00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:02,227 ACTUALLY, IT'S A HOLLYWOOD FALLACY 425 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,596 THAT A BROKEN NECK RESULTS IN INSTANT DEATH. 426 00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:06,565 THE CIRCULATORY -- [ GRUNTS ] 427 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,233 WHOA! WOW! 428 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,135 -HEY. -YOU LOOK LIKE ME! 429 00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:12,037 NAME'S WARD -- BURT WARD. 430 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:13,505 SAY, YOU EVER DRIVEN A CAR? 431 00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,341 BATMAN NEVER LETS ME DRIVE! 432 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:18,444 WELL, THAT'S MY CUTLASS CIERA OVER THERE. 433 00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:19,545 HOP IN THE TRUNK. 434 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:20,713 OH, BOY! 435 00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:22,781 WAIT, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRIVE FROM HERE? 436 00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:25,284 IT'S BURT TIME, BABY! 437 00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,488 WHO THE -- WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS? 438 00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,724 THERE'S NOT A BATTER IN THE ENTIRE NATIONAL LEAGUE 439 00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:34,059 WHO CAN HIT MY SPLIT-FINGERED KNUCKLE BALL. 440 00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,862 OH. WELL, I'M A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND 441 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:38,364 WITH THE POWER OF FEAR. 442 00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:40,999 WELL, THE WAY THE BOTTOM DROPS OUT OF MY BREAKING BALL 443 00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:42,334 SHOULD BE A CRIME! 444 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,303 IT FILLS BATTERS WITH FEAR. 445 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,672 I DON'T THINK WE HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON AT ALL. 446 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,174 WAIT A MINUTE -- IS THAT A "GILMORE GIRLS" BLU-RAY 447 00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:50,275 IN YOUR BACK POCKET? 448 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:51,710 WAIT. ARE YOU A GILLY? 449 00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:54,380 HA, GILLY AS CHARGED! 450 00:16:54,446 --> 00:16:56,448 RIDDLE ME THIS! 451 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,752 WHO'S BLACK AND OWNS HIS OWN STEAMROLLER?! 452 00:16:59,818 --> 00:17:01,987 [ LAUGHING ] 453 00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,123 ANOTHER WORLD TO CONQUER. 454 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,090 ANOTHER SUPERMAN TO DESTR-- 455 00:17:06,157 --> 00:17:07,393 DAMN IT, TYLER! 456 00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:09,060 YOU'RE A GRIM-LOOKING BUNCH 457 00:17:09,127 --> 00:17:11,130 COMPARED TO THE VILLAINS IN MY WORLD, 458 00:17:11,195 --> 00:17:15,634 BUT I HAVE A FEELING YOU FALL DOWN EXACTLY THE SAME! 459 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,202 HA HA! 460 00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:20,005 [ QUACKING ] 461 00:17:20,071 --> 00:17:22,174 PENGUIN GAS, EH? YOU NEVER LEARN. 462 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:23,308 IT'S ANTHRAX. 463 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,645 [ GRUNTS ] 464 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:30,449 [ GAGGING ] 465 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:32,484 [ ANGELIC VOCALIZING ] 466 00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:41,126 HE DIED FOR OUR SINS. 467 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:44,930 THIS CRISIS ON, I DON'T KNOW, SEVERAL EARTHS IS ALL OUR FAULT. 468 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:47,800 WE'VE GOT TO SET THINGS RIGHT, WHATEVER IT TAKES! 469 00:17:50,035 --> 00:17:51,003 ARE WE HERE? 470 00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:52,671 IS IT MY TURN TO DRIV-- AAGH! 471 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,773 ANOTHER BATMAN?! 472 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:55,808 [ TIRES SQUEAL ] 473 00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,342 YOU! 474 00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,811 WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! 475 00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,546 ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?! 476 00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,449 IT IS NOT. 477 00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:07,753 ONCE YOU SUPER-POWERED FOOLS ARE DONE EXTINGUISHING EACH OTHER, 478 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,455 I'LL BE THE ONLY ONE LEFT. 479 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:15,761 I'LL RULE THE ENTIRE MULTIVERSE -- LIKE A GOD! 480 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:18,664 HEY, SUPERMAN, YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? 481 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:19,865 YOU BET! 482 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,366 OH, GOD, THAT WASN'T WHAT I WAS THINKING! 483 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:22,768 [ GRUNTS ] 484 00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:29,708 OH, YOU CAN'T HARM ME. 485 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:33,145 BUT I CAN KILL YOU WITHOUT LIFTING A FINGER. 486 00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:34,913 WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 487 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:38,951 GIVING YOU CANCER WITH MY X-RAY VISION. 488 00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:40,452 STOP! STOP IT! 489 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:43,355 [ LAUGHS ] I WASN'T EVEN DOING IT, YOU IDIOT! 490 00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:46,959 BACK OFF, BATMAN! THIS IS A POWERS PARTY. 491 00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,162 SORRY! 492 00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:51,363 -[ GRUNTS ] -OOPS, SORRY! 493 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:52,431 SORRY! 494 00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:54,299 -SORRY! -SORRY. 495 00:18:54,366 --> 00:18:55,667 -SORRY! -SORRY. 496 00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:57,302 ALL RIGHT, JUST STOP WITH THE HEAT VISION ALREADY! 497 00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:58,770 -MY BAD! -THINK, BATMAN. 498 00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:01,740 HE MUST HAVE A WEAKNESS -- ON HIS SUPERMAN SIDE, OBVIOUSLY, 499 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,408 BECAUSE HIS BATMAN HALF WOULDN'T HAVE ANY. 500 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,810 [ LAUGHS ] EXCEPT -- 501 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,979 [ GASPS ] THAT'S IT! SUPERMAN! 502 00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:07,913 KIND OF BUSY HERE. 503 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,281 IF MY CALCULATIONS ARE CORRECT, 504 00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:11,450 HIS BAT-SIDE IS HUMAN AND, THEREFORE, VULNERABLE. 505 00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:12,684 SO THE BEST WAY TO DEFEAT HIM 506 00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:14,520 IS TO ATTACK HIS LEFT EXTERNAL CAROTID ARTERY. 507 00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:16,755 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! BUT WHAT'S THE MOST FUN WAY? 508 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:19,558 Both: BAT-NARDS! 509 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:20,726 [ GRUNTS ] 510 00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:22,194 SUPER BALLS. 511 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:23,662 SUPER BALLS. 512 00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:24,997 -WHAT? -FULFILL YOUR PURPOSE! 513 00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:26,498 [ GRUNTS ] 514 00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:29,635 LET'S GET NUTS! 515 00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:32,137 [ GRUNTS ] 516 00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:36,174 -OH! -[ LAUGHS ] 517 00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:38,644 I HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON, YOU SON OF A -- 518 00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:40,612 [ GRUNTS ] OH, I'D SAY HE LEARNED IT. 519 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:43,448 WHAT THE -- SUPERMAN DOESN'T KILL! 520 00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:44,683 I DON'T KNOW, IT JUST FELT RIGHT. 521 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,719 HEY, MAN, ABOUT ALL THAT, UH, YOU KNOW, 522 00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:49,821 "BATMAN SUCKS" STUFF EARLIER... 523 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:50,822 AH, FORGET IT. 524 00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:53,125 -FRIENDS? -SUPER FRIENDS! 525 00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:56,728 UH-OH. 526 00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:57,763 OH, THAT CAN'T BE GOOD. 527 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:02,334 IT MUST BE THE TREADMILL THAT'S CAUSING OUR WORLDS TO CONVERGE! 528 00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:04,770 THAT'S A DUMB SENTENCE, BUT YOU'RE RIGHT! 529 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:06,071 [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] 530 00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:08,273 DAMN IT! HE SMASHED THE CONTROLS! 531 00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:09,374 WE CAN'T STOP IT! 532 00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:11,176 WAIT! I HAVE AN IDEA. 533 00:20:11,243 --> 00:20:12,945 FLASH, QUICK, GET ON THE TREADMILL 534 00:20:13,011 --> 00:20:14,179 AND RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. 535 00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:15,514 IT WORKED IN "FERRIS BUELLER." 536 00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:17,716 "A," THAT WAS A MOVIE. "B," IT DIDN'T WORK. 537 00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:18,750 CAMERON GOT IN BIG TROUBLE. 538 00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:27,025 WELL, THIS IS IT -- THE END OF EVERYTHING. 539 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:30,228 ONLY ONE THING WE CAN DO NOW. 540 00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:32,364 [ SMOOCHING ] 541 00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:35,400 ♪♪ 542 00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:36,735 OH, GOD, I AM GOOD. 543 00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:37,970 WE DOING THIS? 544 00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:40,872 LET'S JUST START WITH A HUG AND SEE WHERE IT GOES. 545 00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:41,974 COME HERE, BROTHER. 546 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,042 Both: WORLD'S FINEST HUG! 547 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,615 [ GRUNTS ] 548 00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:51,316 AWKWARD. 549 00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:56,521 [ WHIRRING ] 550 00:20:56,588 --> 00:21:00,459 THE CRISIS ON A COUPLE OF EARTHS HAS BEEN AVERTED. 551 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,227 ALL THANKS TO BATMAN! 552 00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:04,196 THANKS, GUYS, BUT I REALLY COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT 553 00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:05,998 WITHOUT MY PARTNER SUPERMAN! 554 00:21:06,064 --> 00:21:08,133 -WHOO! -YEAH, WAY TO GO, BATMAN! 555 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,402 OH, THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT RIGHT HERE! 556 00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:12,638 Lex Luthor: SEX LUTHOR IS DEAD. 557 00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:16,642 NOW I'M ALL ABOUT SEXX II MEN! 558 00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:18,644 I'M STILL NOT CRAZY ABOUT THE NAME. 559 00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:21,113 OH, EAT A DICK FABIO. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR. 560 00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:23,081 ♪ THERE'S FOUR OF US AND ONE OF YOU ♪ 561 00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:25,350 ♪ BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE 562 00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,686 ♪ BABY, WE'RE THE NINJA TURTLES ♪ 563 00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:29,221 ♪ YOU'RE THE SECRET OOZE 564 00:21:29,287 --> 00:21:31,423 ♪ SEXX II MEN 565 00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:33,825 ♪♪ 566 00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:35,994 ♪ WE'RE FOUR LOCOMOTIVES 567 00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:37,996 ♪ AND YOU'RE A SEXY TUNNEL 568 00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:40,065 ♪ NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY A GAME 569 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,933 ♪ WE HOPE YOU BROUGHT A FUNNEL 570 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,202 ♪ SEXX II MEN 571 00:21:44,269 --> 00:21:46,538 ♪ SEXX II MEN 572 00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:48,573 ♪ FOUR HOT DUDES AND ONE HOT CHICK ♪ 573 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,776 ♪ THAT MAKES A FIVE-WAY HIGHWAY ♪ 574 00:21:50,842 --> 00:21:52,978 ♪ WE'RE GONNA DRIVE A TONGUE-MOBILE ♪ 575 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:57,282 ♪ DIRECTLY UP YOUR THIGH WAY 576 00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:59,217 ♪ GET DOWN INTO A THREE-POINT STANCE ♪ 577 00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:01,219 ♪ AS IF IT'S FIRST AND 10 578 00:22:01,286 --> 00:22:03,288 ♪ WE'RE HEADED FOR YOUR END ZONE ♪ 579 00:22:03,355 --> 00:22:07,092 ♪ IT AIN'T PRETTY BUT IT'S SEXX II MEN ♪♪ 580 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,326 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 581 00:22:08,393 --> 00:22:09,594 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 582 00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:11,296 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 583 00:22:11,363 --> 00:22:12,364 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 584 00:22:12,431 --> 00:22:13,632 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 585 00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:15,534 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 586 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,668 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 587 00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:17,936 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 588 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,971 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 589 00:22:20,038 --> 00:22:21,740 BA-GAWK! BAWK. 590 00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:27,112 [ SCATTING ] 591 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:31,016 YES! ORIGINAL BATMAN AND ROBIN TOGETHER AGAIN! 592 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:34,052 BATMAN, ROBIN, AND ROBIN -- THE THREE AMIGOS! 593 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,655 RIGHT, GUYS?! -SORRY, THIRD WHEEL. 594 00:22:36,722 --> 00:22:40,559 IN THE DYNAMIC DUO, THERE'S NO ROOM FOR YOU-O. 595 00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:41,493 [ CHUCKLES ] 596 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,230 ♪♪ 597 00:22:45,297 --> 00:22:46,898 AW, DARN IT! 598 00:22:52,003 --> 00:22:53,872 Superman: ANOTHER JOB WELL DONE!