1 00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:04,871 [ Whirring ] 2 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,973 [ Theme music plays ] 3 00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:11,344 [ Whirring ] 4 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:18,184 ♪♪ 5 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:19,619 Man: It's alive! 6 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:27,660 ♪♪ 7 00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:28,795 [ Thunder rumbles ] 8 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:37,370 ♪♪ 9 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:43,076 Shame! Shame! [ Sheeps baaing "shame" ] 10 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,445 Shame! Shame! 11 00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:49,616 Excellent. So, you're not going to talk. 12 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,985 Then how about a dip in my lava Jacuzzi? 13 00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:53,353 [ Clears throat ] Megatron, 14 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,455 you're sure this is a Maximal in disguise 15 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,056 and not just a plain, old panda? 16 00:00:57,123 --> 00:00:59,592 Of course, Scorponok. Look at his smug face. 17 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:00,960 [ Panda squeaking ] 18 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:03,930 I'm just asking 'cause these little guys are endangered, 19 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,265 and, well, pretty adorbs. 20 00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,267 Yes, I'm -- I'm not a monster. 21 00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,968 I wouldn't murder a real panda. 22 00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:10,036 You're loving this, aren't you? 23 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:11,304 [ Panda laughs ] 24 00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:12,839 -Eat hot lava, Maximal! -Aah, no! 25 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,941 Sir! He's so helpless and so cute! 26 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:15,875 Cute! 27 00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:17,811 Ohh, he's such a little baby! 28 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:18,912 Oh, my God, did you see that?! 29 00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:20,914 Wow, I was really ready to do it. 30 00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:22,949 I mean, who am I anymore? 31 00:01:23,015 --> 00:01:25,752 It's the war. Been out here too long, Megatron. 32 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,021 Yes. I may have PTSD, 33 00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:30,323 but that is a fucking Maximal. 34 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,894 [ Gasps ] Holy shit, that was close. 35 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,196 Oh, phew! 36 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,164 Shit, that's the deepest character work I've ever done. 37 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,466 Oh, my God, I almost fucking died! 38 00:01:39,532 --> 00:01:41,768 [ Panda screeching ] 39 00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:44,137 [ Dumpster wheels squeaking ] 40 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:54,247 ♪ Hello, mama, what's cookin' on the stove today? ♪ 41 00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:57,250 Oh, my baby's home for Thanksgiving. 42 00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,252 Michigan, say hello to your cousin. 43 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,454 [ Dramatic chord plays ] 44 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,590 Oh, hello, Pepe. 45 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:05,358 How about that election, huh? 46 00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,227 Bet you Hollywood types aren't happy. 47 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,095 Hollywood types? Educated types? 48 00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:10,562 Folks-with-all-their-teeth types? 49 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,398 Literally-the-whole-planet types? 50 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,733 Now, boys! 51 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,635 Ohh, I'm sowwy. 52 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:16,870 Feels bad, man. 53 00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:19,105 Does the special snowflake need his blankie? 54 00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:21,641 Could you salt these potatoes with your liberal tears? 55 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:22,876 Ohh! Get my mother's potatoes 56 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,711 out of your Nazi fuck-ing mouth 57 00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:26,546 [ Both grunting ] 58 00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,349 [ Doors lock ] 59 00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:30,950 I'm not a Nazi, Michigan. 60 00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,086 I'm just scared of the future. 61 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,188 Guys like me are getting left behind. 62 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,156 I know you're not a bad dude, Pepe. 63 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,025 You used to be a fun, hilarious guy 64 00:02:39,091 --> 00:02:40,660 until you were co-opted by those 65 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:43,496 Alt-Right shit buckets for their own nefarious purposes. 66 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,865 They took something pure and perverted it. 67 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:50,236 They owe your creator -- I mean, your dad -- a big apology. 68 00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:51,938 Frogs, you've been bailed out. 69 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,107 -By who? -By future generations. 70 00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:55,675 They'll be cleaning up the Dumpster fire 71 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,645 your generation started for decades. 72 00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:00,613 [ Laughs ] Nah, I'm playing. 73 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,115 This old lady bailed you out. 74 00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:04,684 Come home for pumpkin pie, boys! 75 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,387 This has been the best Thanksgiving ever! 76 00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,656 And maybe this president won't be so bad! 77 00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:11,558 [ Laughter ] 78 00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:13,593 [ Explosion ] 79 00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:19,866 I hate children! 80 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,735 Ever since Monster Mountain was shrunk down and sent here, 81 00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:25,271 we've been too tiny and pocket-sized to scare them! 82 00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:26,906 [ Grunts ] -[ Grunts ] 83 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,577 That good, concise summary of things we already knew, rah! 84 00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:32,045 -Boo! -[ Screams ] 85 00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:33,913 [ Panting ] 86 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:35,781 [ Laughs ] Screams make us bigger. 87 00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:38,017 If we scare people, we'll return to full size. 88 00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:39,552 And then we will be unstoppable! 89 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,387 The world will be ours! -Rah! 90 00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:44,156 You not need hold our hands. We get it, rah. 91 00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:47,527 Look, the evil monsters got bigger when the child screamed. 92 00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:50,228 But we're good monsters and don't want to make kids scream. 93 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:53,600 Let's make them scream with laughter, man. 94 00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,501 What? Talking bugs? 95 00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:58,103 [ Laughing ] Oh, man, I'm so wasted. 96 00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,174 Uh, uh, we'll get bigger every time you laugh. 97 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,775 Okay, make me laugh, bugs. 98 00:04:02,842 --> 00:04:05,345 Why do golfers bring two pair of pants, man? 99 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,615 In case they get a hole in one. 100 00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:11,884 Cool. I think I hear my weed calling, so... 101 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:13,553 I'm-a go. -Wait. Got to read the room. 102 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,255 [ Clears throat ] Um, a guy's buying condoms. 103 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,991 Cashier says, "You want a bag?" 104 00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,026 The guy says, "No, thanks. She's not that ugly." 105 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,996 -Ha, ha, ha! -But, look, we're growing. 106 00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:25,031 What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? 107 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,300 A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. 108 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,002 [ Laughs ] 109 00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:30,570 I don't get it, man. 110 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,306 Sorry, villains. 111 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,508 Joy will defeat fear every time. 112 00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:36,876 Say, man, where'd the mummy go? [ Cellphone chimes ] 113 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:40,079 Hmm, "Following my dreams." Signed, "Mummy"? 114 00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,782 We've got a great show tonight, okay? 115 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:46,552 Fetty Wap is here, okay? Stick around. 116 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,721 [ Cheers and applause ] 117 00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:50,189 Pizza, pizza. 118 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:51,891 Aww! 119 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:54,260 Et tu, Brute, Brute? 120 00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:56,863 I'd build you a shield, but I'm too hungry. 121 00:04:56,929 --> 00:04:59,232 My favorite food is three apples. 122 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,933 If I had two more apples, 123 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,436 I'd have the strength to build a shield. 124 00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:06,272 I can't use this. I can't use this. 125 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:09,175 Wait, what is this? What are you showing me? 126 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,611 There's a world beyond this room? 127 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:13,513 [ Sighs ] 128 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,782 It's so big. I had no idea. 129 00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,650 I love making potions. 130 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:20,019 I just wish I had enough spring water. 131 00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,354 Ha-ha! Okay. 132 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,523 I love making potions! 133 00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:25,591 I just wish -- -Get away from me, man! 134 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,226 -I love making -- -I said get away! 135 00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:28,795 Miss, Miss, I need help. 136 00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:31,297 Do you know where I left my hat? 137 00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,866 I think I saw it over by the tree. 138 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:36,269 -No! -I need 10 fish scales 139 00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:38,004 to build a chain mail. 140 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,739 Would you like to save your game? 141 00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:42,041 We're slaves! Wake up, people! 142 00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:45,111 [ Yawns ] I need four coins to wake up. 143 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,813 You've cursed me with this knowledge, 144 00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,848 this unattainable promise of more! 145 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,983 I want things to go back to how they were. 146 00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:53,252 [ Sobs ] Thank you! 147 00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:56,022 Yum! Now I can build you a shield. 148 00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:57,123 [ Hammer clanks ] 149 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,325 No! No! Apples and shields. 150 00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:00,993 That's all there is. Apples and shields. 151 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,830 They're called Creepy Crawlers. 152 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:05,698 You squirt the liquid into these molds, 153 00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:08,401 then stick them in this heater at 390 degrees. 154 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:09,435 When the kids pull them out, 155 00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,537 they get icky, sticky, weird creatures. 156 00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:14,474 What kind of dumbass would buy this crap for their kid? 157 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:18,111 Oh, hush, dear. I'll fill the molds, and you can bake them. 158 00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:20,880 [ Oven sizzling ] 159 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,116 Hmm. I'm not getting any younger here. 160 00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:26,052 [ Screams ] -[ Screaming ] 161 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:30,289 [ Muffled screams ] 162 00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,425 [ Screaming ] 163 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,994 [ Sobs ] Where is my husband?! 164 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,395 No, no! 165 00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:38,030 Nobody died. Approved! 166 00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:39,265 Martini time! 167 00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:41,834 I'm not racist, but... 168 00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,370 This is for bachelor number three. 169 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:48,374 I think a man's voice is his sexiest attribute. 170 00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,709 Uh... 171 00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:51,677 [ Chuckles nervously ] 172 00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:56,415 My name is Professor Wile E. Coyote. 173 00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:59,585 Welcome to Criminology 101, or as I like to call it, 174 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,354 "How to Get Away With Murder." 175 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:03,689 I present to you now the most diabolical 176 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,925 and un-solvable murder of all time, 177 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,661 clearly perpetrated by a super-genius. 178 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:12,765 The victim, a Mr. Road Runner, Accelerati incredibilus. 179 00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,701 His remains were found here in a shallow grave. 180 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,037 Nearby, receipts from the Acme Corporation 181 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,839 stained with the Road Runner's blood. 182 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:22,275 How did the killer combine these objects 183 00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:24,210 into a clockwork-precise homicide delivery system? 184 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,045 Uh, I doubt he did. 185 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,313 -Excuse me? -Ball bearings? 186 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,248 A hang glider? Birdseed? 187 00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:30,650 A giant U-shaped magnet? 188 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,885 Most killers are dumb. Occam's razor, right? 189 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,687 That Road Runner probably got hit by a car. 190 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,589 The killer was not dumb. 191 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,224 He was -- -[ Yawns ] 192 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,759 That does it! Field trip! 193 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:42,628 I was just taking this class as an elective, 194 00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:44,564 and now I'm in the butt-fucking desert. 195 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,533 Now, watch. I poured the birdseed on the road. 196 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:51,671 Then the ball bearings go in the birdseed like so. 197 00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:54,273 Try putting ball bearings in your oatmeal tomorrow 198 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,242 and see if you notice or not. Christ! 199 00:07:56,308 --> 00:07:58,678 Watch closely, and tell me it's not 200 00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:00,913 diabolical in its precision! 201 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,548 [ Sighs ] I whish I brought a Lunchable. 202 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:05,017 I love Lunchables. 203 00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:07,787 Acme is mandated by the Department of Homeland Security 204 00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,322 to post lists of individuals 205 00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:10,890 who purchase rocket-powered merchandise. 206 00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,425 -Everyone knows that! -Fuck off, James. 207 00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:14,627 According to Acme, they only sold one 208 00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:17,096 rocket-powered hang glider ever! 209 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,364 To that guy! 210 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,633 [ Screaming ] 211 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,502 [ Groaning ] 212 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:24,537 Thanks to you kids, 213 00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,739 the Road Runner's murder is solved. 214 00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:28,007 It's funny. 215 00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,475 If Professor Coyote had just hit the Road Runner 216 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,310 with his car, nobody would have known. 217 00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:33,546 He was brought down by his own ego. 218 00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,014 Who wants Lunchables? 219 00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,616 Uh, me. I do. 220 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:40,553 ♪♪ 221 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:41,953 Whoo! 222 00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:44,056 Mary-Kate and Ashley Do Tijuana! 223 00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:46,292 Party! 224 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,960 Jet skis! 225 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,095 Lunch! 226 00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:50,429 More agua, señoritas? 227 00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:54,100 Enjoying your vacatión? Dónde está your parents? 228 00:08:54,165 --> 00:08:55,935 IDK. Arizona? 229 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,603 Perfecto! 230 00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,972 [ Laughs ] 231 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:02,975 I had so many, uh, Shirley-a Temples 232 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,244 I can't even remember which twin I am. 233 00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:06,612 Eek! 234 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,649 No! Ashley! 235 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,183 Wait, am I Ashley? 236 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,587 I will find you because I have skills -- 237 00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,756 a very particular set of skills, 238 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:21,027 like tap-dancing and looking cute while riding a horse! 239 00:09:21,093 --> 00:09:22,828 I'm gonna save you! -Oh, my God, no! 240 00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,797 I'm saving you! -Aw! 241 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,733 [ Groans ] 242 00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,136 You run away while I distract them. 243 00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,171 No, you distract them, and I'll -- 244 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,106 I'd never leave you. -Aw! 245 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,108 -Put these on. -Oh, my God, Ashley! 246 00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:37,343 Do you know what this means? 247 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,378 -Fashion montage! -Fashion montage! 248 00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:42,081 Unh-unh. 249 00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:45,685 No. 250 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,720 Oh! 251 00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,355 [ Laughing ] Yeah! 252 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,390 Ooh, nice! 253 00:09:51,457 --> 00:09:53,726 Twin virgins! Yeah! 254 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,094 Yep. 255 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,030 -Um... -Mary Kate! 256 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,266 We said we were gonna lose our virginities together! 257 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,434 Okay, kinda weird. 258 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,069 I've been a terrible twin. 259 00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:05,304 No, I have. I shouldn't have yelled at you. 260 00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,206 It's okay. I forgive you. 261 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,075 Mm, yeah, that's it. 262 00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:11,911 [ Laughs ] Yeah, now kiss. Yeah! 263 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:14,347 Both: Ew! We're sisters, you sicko! 264 00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:16,482 [ Both grunting ] 265 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,185 ♪♪ 266 00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:20,453 [ Both sigh ] 267 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:21,821 [ Grunts ] 268 00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:22,989 [ Guns cock ] 269 00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:25,057 [ Man groaning ] 270 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,326 Twin power! Guns! Yeah! 271 00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:29,996 [ Grunts ] Take that, Jabba the Ugh! 272 00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,664 Oh, my God, you are so funny. 273 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:33,132 Stop it. You're taller. 274 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,934 -Oh, you stop it. -Stop it! 275 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,236 [ Moaning ] 276 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,705 Oh, we're sisters. 277 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:40,740 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 278 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,074 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 279 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,076 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 280 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,244 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 281 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,579 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 282 00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:48,414 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 283 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,415 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 284 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,750 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 285 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,752 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 286 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,987 Ba-gawk! Bawk.