1 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,971 [ Whirring ] 2 00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:07,040 [ Theme music plays ] 3 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,511 [ Whirring ] 4 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:19,786 MAN: It's alive! 5 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,829 [ Thunder rumbles ] 6 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,706 Care for some coconut milk? 7 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:40,807 Yeah, I'd love some. 8 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:44,210 Yeah, suck my nuts dry, girl. Mmm! 9 00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:47,147 Yeah, suck the milk right out of my nuts! 10 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:50,116 What are you looking at? You done it, too. 11 00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:52,352 You've all sucked these nuts! 12 00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:55,054 [ Laughs ] Coconut tree wins at life! 13 00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:56,423 Fellow Renegades, 14 00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:59,626 today we shall destroy the Guardians once and for all! 15 00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:01,461 Ah, yeah, Screwhead gonna whip all the butts. 16 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:02,796 Screwhead a mean little Gobot. 17 00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:04,197 Got a big old screw on his head. 18 00:01:04,263 --> 00:01:06,266 Screwhead gonna be like pow, pow, smack, pow, pow -- 19 00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:07,267 knocking good guys down. 20 00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,635 They all be like, "Who are you?" 21 00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:09,969 And I'll be like, "Screwhead." 22 00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:12,038 All right. 23 00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:14,507 We are going to launch a surprise attack 24 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:15,809 on the Guardian base! 25 00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:17,477 Ah, yeah! Screwhead gonna be like this -- 26 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:18,645 Doop, dee, bop, doop, doop! 27 00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:20,045 Guardians be like, "What's that?" 28 00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:21,948 "Oh, it's just a car with a screw in the front." 29 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,083 Then they be all relaxed and thinking I'm not Screwhead. 30 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,685 Then I'll be like bing, bang, bow, bow! 31 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,920 Good guy runs into the other room all scared of Screwhead. 32 00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,556 I knock on the door like, "Knock, knock." 33 00:01:29,622 --> 00:01:30,457 "Who's there?" "Not." 34 00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:31,758 "Not who?" "Not Screwhead." 35 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,160 Then he open the door and be all like, "Uh-oh, Screwhead." 36 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:36,463 Oh, Screwhead, let's cool it with the commentary. 37 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:38,698 We will attack in two teams. 38 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,533 I will command Team 1. 39 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,836 Team 2's leader will be Tank! 40 00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:44,304 Oh, snap! He say Screwhead! 41 00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:45,205 Heck yeah! 42 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,506 Y'all be high-fiving Screwhead 43 00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,174 'cause he be all leading Team 2. 44 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,176 Screwhead, I-I said Tank. 45 00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:51,811 My bad. Screwhead's not leading Team 2. 46 00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,079 Tank is. Love tank. 47 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,948 Screwhead see Tank in the halls and be all, "S'up, Tank? 48 00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:55,949 How are you doing today?" 49 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:57,484 Tank be like, "I'm good, Screwhead." 50 00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:58,618 I'll be like, "Okay." 51 00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:01,721 Oh fuck me. I just couldn't with him, right? 52 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,089 I-I mean... 53 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:09,762 ♪ We will remember Screw 54 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:14,801 ♪ Will you screw-member him? 55 00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:18,571 CSI initial evaluation of Lois Lane murder scene. 56 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:19,672 [ Both shuddering ] 57 00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:21,741 Back of victim's head blown outwards, 58 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,377 consistent with a firearm discharge in her mouth. 59 00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:25,712 No powder burns visible. 60 00:02:25,778 --> 00:02:26,513 [ Gasps ] 61 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,047 Hold it together, Kent. 62 00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:31,518 Blood spatter indicates low angle of trajectory. 63 00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:33,353 Hmm. No bullet holes. 64 00:02:33,418 --> 00:02:36,289 Gun would have been about here when he fired. 65 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,324 Putting her head about here. 66 00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:39,392 Higher. 67 00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:40,393 Here? 68 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:42,028 Huh? Huh? 69 00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,129 Oh, my God. 70 00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,732 Could be the bastard made her get down and beg. 71 00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:47,600 Well, I'll kill him myself! 72 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,836 No, her expression reads as total surprise. 73 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,070 She never saw it coming. 74 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,772 Huh. The chair's facing the TV. 75 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,440 Where they watching something? 76 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,876 Announcer: Your watching the Blow Job Network. 77 00:02:56,942 --> 00:02:58,011 [ Gulps ] 78 00:02:58,077 --> 00:03:00,413 Huh. Is the Blow Job Network on Comcast? 79 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,115 Just asking for a friend. 80 00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:03,483 Any neighbor testimony? 81 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:06,653 Yeah, old lady across the hall said she heard someone yell, 82 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:08,121 "Here comes a super load," 83 00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:10,823 followed by a noise she described as, uh, 84 00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,126 "bear screaming into a megaphone." 85 00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:16,329 And then a cry of "Oh, my God, I've killed her." 86 00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:17,530 I don't know. 87 00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:18,932 Call me crazy, 88 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:23,002 but I think she might have been giving Thor a hand job. 89 00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:24,170 That cheating bitch! 90 00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,105 She blew me in this chair just last night! 91 00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:29,976 Uh, I mean, uh, yoink! 92 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,377 Hello, Comcast? 93 00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:34,113 Does my extended digital package cover the Blow Job Network? 94 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,616 ♪♪ 95 00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:37,817 Max, what are you doing? 96 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,719 It looks like you have brain freeze. 97 00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:40,987 I'm doing Kegels. 98 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,790 Mmm. Is that like a mix between a croissant and a bagel? 99 00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:44,891 [ Snap ] 100 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:47,393 Uh-oh. I think I just broke my vagina. 101 00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,462 Man: We interrupt this program with breaking news. 102 00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:53,099 A powerful 9.2 earthquake has struck off the coast of Europe. 103 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,668 Now back to "2 Broke Girls," already in progress. 104 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,370 You're not going to bandage her labia? 105 00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,771 Where'd you even go to school? 106 00:03:58,838 --> 00:03:59,973 No, no, no, it will heal 107 00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:01,908 if she'll just leave it alone for a few days. 108 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:02,942 [ Scoffs ] 109 00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,478 That's like asking a fish not to swim. 110 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,413 Man: An update on the European quake. 111 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,048 A wall of water 90 feet high 112 00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:11,551 is expected to reach land within the hour. 113 00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,019 Now, "2 Broke Girls." 114 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,821 Oh, your soup's cold, lady? 115 00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:17,055 Well, guess what? I just broke my -- 116 00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:17,957 [ Cat meows ] 117 00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,793 Oh, my gosh. Whose cat is that? 118 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,596 Man: Ladies and gentlemen, Europe is now under water. 119 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,665 Millions of lives are presumed lost. 120 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:28,434 Please, pray for everyone affected by this tragedy. 121 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:30,536 And now back to "2 Broke Girls." 122 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:31,537 Penis! 123 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,940 ♪♪ 124 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:37,909 ♪ Yeah, we're the Stone Protectors ♪ 125 00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:40,580 ♪ Our stones of power glow 126 00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:44,082 ♪ Guardians of the stones, yeah ♪ 127 00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:45,418 Hey. [ Chuckles ] 128 00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,787 Hey, um, you guys sound great, 129 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,189 but this is my wedding, so I really need you guys 130 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:52,358 to play a song that isn't about your stones. 131 00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:54,661 But we were just goofy nobodies 132 00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:57,263 until we found these magical stones, 133 00:04:57,330 --> 00:05:00,133 which transformed us into rocking heroes! 134 00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:01,300 ♪ Hoo-hoo 135 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,435 Yeah, and that's great, 136 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,270 but, um, today is about me and Josh, 137 00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:07,006 and you've been playing songs about stones for 90 minutes. 138 00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:09,075 But our stones of power glow. 139 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,377 Look, next up is the father-daughter dance, 140 00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:14,414 so it is very important that you play something appropriate. 141 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,915 Get it? 142 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,717 [ Soft song begins ] 143 00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:21,888 ♪ Look at you, my lovely ♪ 144 00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:26,693 ♪ Look at you, my little one ♪ 145 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:31,864 ♪ Look at you, my sweet little ♪ 146 00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:33,032 ♪ Stone 147 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:35,134 ♪ Stone Protectors 148 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:36,169 Fuck this! 149 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:37,336 [ Music stops ] 150 00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,806 Stone bros, get off my fucking stage! 151 00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:42,375 Can someone with Pandora on their phone 152 00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:44,343 please come up to the stage? 153 00:05:44,409 --> 00:05:46,713 Thank you, San Dimas High! 154 00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:48,748 Bill and Ted out! 155 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,750 [ Crowd cheering ] 156 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,085 Yes! 157 00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:54,787 Wow! Oh, my God! 158 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,789 How could anyone follow that? 159 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,157 Hoo, hoo, hoo! 160 00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:01,794 Well, here with the last report of the day is Katie Hall. 161 00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:06,499 Whoever said behind every great man was a great woman 162 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,668 must have known First Lady Abigail Adams. 163 00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,069 [ Chuckles ] 164 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:14,841 Sorry, Morticia, but I think Abigail was the best Mrs. Adams. 165 00:06:14,907 --> 00:06:18,978 I can't listen to crappy jokes after the actual Napoleon 166 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,881 was just out here cracking my ass up! 167 00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,049 Oh, wow! 168 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:26,219 Here to tell you what she thinks of San Dimas, 169 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:27,754 it's Abigail Adams. 170 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:29,088 Also known as my mom. 171 00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:30,456 Oh, my God! 172 00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:33,860 Bill and Ted just did this concept but so much better! 173 00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:35,661 Get off the stage, Katie! 174 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,663 Bill and Ted! Come on, guys. 175 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,831 Bill and Ted! 176 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,032 [ Screams ] 177 00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:42,135 Did somebody say our names? 178 00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:43,736 Tell me... 179 00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,638 Do you bleed? 180 00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:48,908 Before you answer, just know that I don't give a fuck. 181 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,743 J.K. I give so many fucks. 182 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,312 Inside that bag are all the fucks I give. 183 00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:54,213 It's empty. 184 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,581 [ Thunder crashes ] 185 00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,850 Darn it! I'll just run over to the fuck store. 186 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:58,851 It's open till 9:00. 187 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,954 Oh, no, it's 9:02. 188 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,323 Enough with this silliness. Your fight is not with me. 189 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:05,491 There is a greater threat. 190 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:08,361 Oh, look! A vending machine! 191 00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:11,297 And there's one fuck left. 192 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,166 All right, you're gonna check your pockets 193 00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:15,568 and say something like, "Oh, man, I don't have a dollar. 194 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,136 Looks like I can't give a fuck. 195 00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:18,237 So don't waste your time. 196 00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:19,839 But I have a dollar. 197 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,407 [ Thunder crashes ] 198 00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:22,809 [ Beeping ] 199 00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:25,878 Oh, no! 200 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,114 The fuck got stuck. 201 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:31,851 I cannot believe you went to all that effort just for this bit. 202 00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,186 I'm out of here. 203 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,323 Got your fucks here! 204 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,225 Fresh hot fucks two for a dollar! 205 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,493 No, no, no, he left, bro. 206 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,661 He's already gone. 207 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:43,196 When your crush takes you back, you be like... 208 00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:44,363 [ Gibbering ] 209 00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:45,798 When your crush takes you back, you be like... 210 00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:46,966 [ Gibbering ] 211 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,634 When your crush takes you back, you be like... 212 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:49,869 [ Gibbering ] 213 00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:00,346 Hey, I know this is Monday morning quarterbacking, 214 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:02,949 but building a liquid metal version of the humping robot 215 00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:04,050 was a really bad idea. 216 00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:05,284 But on the bright side, 217 00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:07,420 hiding in this factory was an even worse idea. 218 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:10,623 [ Clanging ] 219 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:11,858 [ Chainsaw whirring ] 220 00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:12,758 [ Crying ] 221 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,827 This isn't how I wanted to die. 222 00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:17,830 This is exactly how I wanted you to die! 223 00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:19,999 Hi, I'm "Robot Chicken" co-head writer 224 00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:22,268 and executive producer Douglas Goldstein. 225 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,338 If Matt Senreich and Seth Green are the faces of the show, 226 00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:28,140 consider me the puppet master pulling their strings. 227 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:29,675 Uh, Mr. Goldstein, did you get a chance 228 00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:31,777 to look over the script that I gave you? Yep, saw it. 229 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,779 Put it in the toilet 'cause that's where shit goes. 230 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,017 So for our season finale, we had an online vote. 231 00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:40,753 Would you like to see a finale starring me 232 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,421 or starring Matt and Seth? 233 00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:43,923 And the results are in. 234 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:44,957 [ Buzzer ] 235 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,692 Maybe this will change your minds. 236 00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:49,862 My finale involves me wearing a dope jacket from Wet Seal, 237 00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:51,898 kicking ass on a flying motorcycle 238 00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:54,233 and open-mouth kissing Christie Brinkley 239 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,035 with my whole tongue. 240 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,170 [ Buzzer ] 241 00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:00,206 [ Grunts ] 242 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,277 Hey, enjoy your same old Matt and Seth bullshit. 243 00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:05,978 [ Chainsaw whirring ] 244 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,719 Thanks, Robot Chicken! 245 00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:15,955 Looks like it's a happy ending. 246 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:20,893 Oh, no. We have to destroy you? 247 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,664 Wait, we have to be destroyed? 248 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:25,598 Why? 249 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:26,732 Hi, Matt and Seth. 250 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:28,768 It's Mike Feinberg, Adult Swim's lawyer. 251 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:29,835 Bad news. 252 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,570 The network's canceling "Robot Chicken." 253 00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:33,339 What? No. We -- We've got a contract. 254 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,274 And it's non-compete clause clearly states 255 00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:36,876 that when your show is cancelled, 256 00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:39,211 the creators are lowered into a vat of molten metal. 257 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,613 Hey, I really can't get sued again 258 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,948 after that intern class action. 259 00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:44,617 In retrospect, making dick-out Thursdays mandatory 260 00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:45,651 was going too far. 261 00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:47,119 Aagh! 262 00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,087 Oh, wow! 263 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,822 This feels kind of good, actually. 264 00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:51,490 Like a Jacuzzi, except -- Oh, no! 265 00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:52,992 No, God, that's fucking hot! 266 00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:56,128 ♪♪ 267 00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:01,400 Uh, Doug, do I really have to wear this Halloween costume? 268 00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,302 Oh, yes, Christie Brinkley. 269 00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:04,403 [ Slobbering ] 270 00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:05,237 Oh! 271 00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,372 Ugh! 272 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,406 Geez! 273 00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,942 How does my freaking throat taste? 274 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:13,245 Like prime grade-A Brinkley throat beef. 275 00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:14,981 Brinkley throat beef? 276 00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:18,985 You told me I was gonna be in a "Vacation" sketch. 277 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,586 Is Chevy even here? 278 00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:23,756 I lied, baby. It's what I do. 279 00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:24,991 [ Tires screech ] 280 00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:31,664 We still doing dick-out Thursday? 281 00:10:34,165 --> 00:10:38,471 Well, it's already out, so... 282 00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:42,141 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk 283 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,476 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk 284 00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:45,478 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 285 00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:46,645 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk 286 00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:47,980 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk 287 00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:49,815 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 288 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:50,816 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk 289 00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,151 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk 290 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,153 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 291 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:56,355 Ba-gawk! Bawk.