1 00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:08,641 [ THUNDER CRASHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 2 00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,710 [ SAWING ] [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] 3 00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:19,619 IT'S ALIVE! 4 00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:32,232 [ THUNDER CRASHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 5 00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:37,370 [ SMOOCH! ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 6 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,372 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS! 7 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:40,940 ACTUALLY, BABY, I DO. 8 00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:42,208 I LOVE YOU. 9 00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:44,844 NEVER A DOUBT IN MY MIND. 10 00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:46,379 FOR THE QUEEN! 11 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:49,382 [ CHOKING ] [ EXPLOSION ] 12 00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:51,418 [ GROANS ] 13 00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:52,852 HE DID IT! 14 00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:54,354 [ ALL CHEERING ] 15 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:55,555 WAYPOINT SET, MASTER CHIEF. 16 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:56,623 COVENANT FORCES INCOMING. 17 00:00:56,689 --> 00:00:58,358 YOU'RE MY EYES AND EARS, CORTANA. 18 00:00:58,425 --> 00:00:59,225 ON MY WAY. 19 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,961 RIGHT AFTER I TAKE A QUICK LEAK. 20 00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,329 DETECTING ENEMY -- OH! 21 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,096 I-I'M SORRY! 22 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:04,864 OH, SHIT! 23 00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:05,732 CORTANA! WAIT! 24 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,133 OH, GREAT. 25 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,103 UM, ENEMY COMBATANT 500 METERS AHEAD. 26 00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,372 WAIT. CORTANA, REMEMBER 5 SECONDS AGO? 27 00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:13,206 DID YOU SEE MY PEENER? 28 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:14,307 I MEAN, I DON'T CARE. 29 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:15,909 I'M JUST -- IT'S JUST, I'M STRESSED RIGHT NOW WITH THE 30 00:01:15,975 --> 00:01:17,844 FIGHTING, AND MY PEENER'S A LITTLE SMALLER THAN USUAL. 31 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:18,344 HEADS UP! 32 00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:19,545 GOT 'EM. 33 00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,948 ANYWAY, I DON'T WANT TO BEAT A DEAD HORSE HERE, BUT MY PEENER 34 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,451 BEING THAT SMALL, THAT'S, LIKE, A SUPER-RARE THING. 35 00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:24,951 NOTED. 36 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:25,752 YOU KNOW WHAT? 37 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:27,320 I STILL GOT TO PEE JUST A LITTLE BIT. 38 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:28,154 CAN I HAVE A SECOND? 39 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:29,155 YEAH, SURE. WHATEVER. 40 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:30,857 OKAY, LITTLE CHIEF -- TIME TO CHUB UP. 41 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:31,758 HERE WE GO. 42 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,460 ALYSSA MILANO IN "POISON IVY 2," GIRL FROM 43 00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:34,794 "CRADLE OF LOVE" VIDEO... 44 00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:36,095 MMM, NICE. 45 00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,198 HOUSTON, WE HAVE PLUMPAGE. 46 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:39,065 CORTANA, CORTANA! 47 00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:40,834 YES, CHIEF, WHAT IS THE -- OH, GOD! 48 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,001 OH, IT'S CRAZY! 49 00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:42,969 THERE WAS AN ATTACK! 50 00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:43,503 OH, MAN. 51 00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:44,737 I HOPE I WASN'T SHOT! 52 00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:47,207 UH, HEAD, CHEST, MY PEENER, THAT IS RIGHT NOW AT THE LENGTH AND 53 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,542 THICKNESS THAT REPRESENTS THE USUAL SIZE OF MY PEENER. 54 00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:50,710 CHIEF... 55 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,645 SORRY IF YOU CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF MY PEENER DURING THAT. 56 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:53,813 YOU SAW THAT, RIGHT? 57 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:54,347 CRAZY. 58 00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:55,515 IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 59 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,015 [ CHUCKLES ] LITERALLY. 60 00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:57,750 PARDON ME? 61 00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:58,818 HEY, NEEDLE PEEN! 62 00:01:58,884 --> 00:02:00,253 AAH! 63 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,454 SO, WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR? 64 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:04,457 WELL, I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, EATING SOME FOOD, AND 65 00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:07,327 THEN SOME MORE FOOD STARTED SHOOTING AT ME, SO I STARTING 66 00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:10,497 EATING THAT FOOD, AND THEN LIKE TWO MORE FOODS SURROUNDED ME... 67 00:02:10,562 --> 00:02:11,464 AND I WOKE UP HERE. 68 00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,833 FUCKING FOOD, MAN. 69 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,368 FUCKING FOOD. 70 00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:16,469 ABBY! 71 00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:19,072 WE'D LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO JOIN THE BABYSITTERS CLUB! 72 00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:21,307 ALL THE BABY-SITTERS IN STONEYBROOK JOIN, AND THE CLUB 73 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:22,375 ONLY TAKES 15%. 74 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:23,476 NO, THANKS. 75 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,512 I HAVE MY OWN CLIENTS, AND I GET TO KEEP ALL THE MONEY. 76 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,614 WE ARE BABYSITTING IN THIS TOWN. 77 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,216 IF WE ASK YOU TO JOIN, YOU JOIN. 78 00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:31,751 SORRY. 79 00:02:33,418 --> 00:02:33,953 HI, TODD. 80 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,188 I'M HERE FOR OUR DATE. 81 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,557 LISTEN, I DON'T THINK WE CAN BE BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE. 82 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,459 BABY-SITTER CLUB TOLD ME YOU HAVE AIDS. 83 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:40,727 NOW WE'RE HAVING A FOUR-WAY. 84 00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:41,761 WHA? 85 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,664 [ CRYING ] HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME? 86 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:49,536 [ GASPS ] HMM? 87 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:51,971 AAH! AAH! 88 00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:53,606 AAH! 89 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:54,374 MOM, DAD! 90 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,142 THEY PUT A WOLF IN MY CLOSET! 91 00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:58,144 WHO PUT A WOLF IN YOUR CLOSET?! 92 00:02:58,211 --> 00:02:59,879 [ GUNSHOTS ] NO! 93 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:01,714 I'LL NEVER JOIN YOU! 94 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:04,617 I'LL FIGHT YOU TO THE GATES OF HELL! 95 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:08,154 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "BABY-SITTERS CLUB"! 96 00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:11,157 NOW VOTING ON RESOLUTION 765 -- 1% INCREASE IN 97 00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,259 SANITATION AID FOR EAST MONGOLIA. 98 00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:14,027 ALL IN FAVOR? 99 00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:14,961 Together: AYE. 100 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,396 RESOLUTION PASSES. 101 00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:19,899 NOW VOTING ON RESOLUTION 766 -- ALL COUNTRIES SHALL BOW TO 102 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:20,633 DR. DOOM. 103 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:21,701 ALL IN FAVOR? 104 00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:22,702 AYE! 105 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:26,606 NOW ALL SHALL KNEEL BEFORE THE MIGHT OF DOCTOR -- 106 00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:27,273 ALL OPPOSED? 107 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,041 Together: NAY. 108 00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:29,208 RESOLUTION FAILS. 109 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:31,878 [ SIGHS ] WORTH A SHOT, RIGHT? 110 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,781 OH, YOU ARE SO ADORABLE. 111 00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:36,215 OKAY... 112 00:03:36,281 --> 00:03:38,751 NOW TAKE ALL OF YOUR CLOTHES OFF. 113 00:03:38,817 --> 00:03:40,553 REOW?! 114 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,856 VISIONARIES, YOU SHALL RECEIVE MAGIC IN THE FORM OF 115 00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:45,591 POWERFUL ANIMAL TOTEMS. 116 00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,795 WITTERQUICK, DUE TO YOUR BLINDING SPEED, RECEIVE THE 117 00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:51,030 POWER OF THE CHEETAH! 118 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:53,433 [ ROARS ] INCREDIBLE! 119 00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:56,769 TOBY, YOUR STEALTH HAS EARNED YOU THE TOTEM OF... 120 00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:57,904 THE TOOTHPICK FISH. 121 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,039 WHAT THE FUCK IS A TOOTHPICK FISH? 122 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:00,673 OH, YEAH! 123 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:01,608 I READ ABOUT THOSE. 124 00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:02,875 SOME GUY PEED IN THE AMAZON. 125 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,345 THE TOOTHPICK FISH SWAM UP HIS URINE STREAM AND INTO HIS 126 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:06,079 URETHRA. 127 00:04:06,145 --> 00:04:07,614 HE HAD TO HAVE ELABORATE SURGERY. 128 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,149 MERKLYNN, CAN I HAVE ANOTHER TOTEM, PLEASE? 129 00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:13,453 NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO SWIMMING UP A PEE STREAM INTO A BAD 130 00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:14,520 GUY'S DONGER! 131 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,624 ONCE THE TOTEM HAS BEEN BESTOWED, IT IS PERMANENT. 132 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,926 OH, THAT'S FANTASTIC NEWS. 133 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,328 [ ALL SCREAM ] WITNESS THE RISE OF 134 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,563 DARKSTORM! 135 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,799 TO ASSERT MY DOMINANCE OVER YOU, I SHALL PISS ON YOUR BATTERED 136 00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:27,533 BODIES! 137 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,935 AHH. 138 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,336 OH, JACKPOT! 139 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,672 IT'S TOBY TIME! 140 00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:35,675 AAH! 141 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,210 AAH! SOMETHING'S IN MY URETHRA! 142 00:04:37,276 --> 00:04:39,779 IT IS LIKE A BLADDER INFECTION BUT WORSE! 143 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:42,482 I-I NEED TO GET THIS CHECKED OUT! 144 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,685 TOBY, YOU SAVED OUR LIVES! 145 00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:46,586 TOBY? 146 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:48,688 I THINK HE'S STILL IN DARKSTORM'S DICK. 147 00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:52,058 THAT IS GOING TO REQUIRE ELABORATE SURGERY. 148 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,528 COMRADE OBAMA CUT THE DEFENSE BUDGET AGAIN, GENERAL HAWK. 149 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:59,132 I CAN NIX OUR EFFICIENT DRONE PROGRAM OR THE G.I. JOE PROGRAM 150 00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:02,769 THAT RACKS UP BILLIONS TO STOP A SINGLE TERRORIST GROUP! 151 00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:05,371 I MEAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHERE WERE YOU ON 9/11? 152 00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:07,907 ENDING COBRA'S SCHEME TO CONQUER AMERICA WITH AN EVIL 153 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,008 TELETHON! OH, GOD. 154 00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:10,810 I'LL SEE MYSELF OUT, SIR. 155 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:13,179 GOODBYE, ARMY OF VILLAGE PEOPLE REJECTS. 156 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,548 SAY HELLO TO G.I. DRONE! 157 00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:20,586 ♪ G.I. DRONE ♪ G.I. DRONE 158 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:24,123 ♪ IT BOMBS FOR FREEDOM WITHOUT ANY CONSCIENCE ♪ 159 00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:27,360 G.I. DRONE IS THE CODE NAME FOR AMERICA'S SOULLESS, 160 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:30,163 HIGH-TECH KILLING MACHINES. 161 00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:32,899 AAH! 162 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:34,867 HOLY SHIT! 163 00:05:34,933 --> 00:05:37,403 ITS PURPOSE -- TO BOMB THE FUCK OUT OF WHOEVER, 164 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,738 WHENEVER. 165 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:39,539 OH, YEAH. 166 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,307 WE HAVE AN ERECTION, TOO. 167 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,443 HIDE IN THAT HOSPITAL! 168 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:46,345 WHAT HAPPENED TO PROPORTIONATE FUCKING RESPONSE?! 169 00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,448 I ONLY WANTED TO CONTROL THE WEATHER! 170 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:51,651 ♪ G.I. MOTHERFUCKING DRONE 171 00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,453 ACCORDING TO PASSOVER TRADITION, 172 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,788 I WILL PARDON ONE PRISONER OF YOUR CHOOSING. 173 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:59,859 WILL YOU PARDON THE MURDERER BARABBAS, OR WILL YOU PARDON 174 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:00,727 JESUS? 175 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,662 BARABBAS! BARABBAS! 176 00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:03,663 BARABBAS! 177 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,898 BARABBAS, YOU ARE PARDONED. 178 00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:06,733 WHAT? 179 00:06:06,799 --> 00:06:08,534 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! AAAAAH! 180 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,269 WAIT. WHICH ONE IS THE MAGIC ONE? 181 00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:12,805 [ Crying ] I'M THE MAGIC ONE! 182 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:16,375 NO TAKEBACKS, CHICKENHEADS! 183 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:20,146 THE MIDNIGHT SOCIETY IS NOW IN SESSION. 184 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:24,851 CAN YOU ALL HANDLE BETTY ANN'S SCARY STORY, OR ARE YOU AFRAID 185 00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:26,319 OF THE DARK? 186 00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:28,955 [ ALL GASP ] MY STORY ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO 187 00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:29,589 ME. 188 00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:31,924 I CALL IT "NIGHT OF TERROR." 189 00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:35,394 I AGREED TO A DATE WITH A GUY, WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS, WHO I 190 00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,996 DID NOT WANT TO GO OUT WITH. 191 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,665 BUT OUR PARENTS ARE FRIENDS SO I HAD TO. 192 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:42,034 IT WAS A SHIT-SHOW FROM THE MOMENT HE SHOWED UP IN HIS 193 00:06:42,101 --> 00:06:43,302 CRAPPY NISSAN. 194 00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:44,537 HI, BETTY ANN! 195 00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:47,907 HE WAS SO NERVOUS, HE EJAC'd IN HIS KHAKIS AND THEN RAN INTO A 196 00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,408 LOW-HANGING TREE BRANCH. 197 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:50,643 AAH! 198 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,979 [ LAUGHTER ] HEY, DON'T YOU DRIVE A 199 00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:53,913 NISSAN, GARY? 200 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,047 WHAT?! NO! 201 00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:57,582 YES! I MEAN -- AAH! 202 00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:58,618 UNH! AAH! 203 00:06:58,683 --> 00:07:02,388 [ LAUGHTER ] OH, MY KHAKIS! 204 00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:05,324 FORREST, WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR A WHILE. 205 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:07,093 MAYBE WE SHOULD SPICE THINGS UP. 206 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,394 TALK DIRTY TO ME. 207 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,163 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, JEN-NY? 208 00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:11,197 I DON'T KNOW. 209 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,532 SAY SOMETHING MEAN. 210 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:13,666 OKAY. 211 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,335 YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT. 212 00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:18,504 NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND, FORREST. 213 00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:21,574 SAY SOMETHING ELSE, BUT CALL ME A SLUT AFTER. 214 00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:22,575 OKAY. 215 00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:27,046 STAYING SOBER IS A DAILY STRUGGLE FOR YOU...SLUT. 216 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,047 FORREST! 217 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,081 JUST, UM... 218 00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:30,449 BE ROUGH WITH ME. 219 00:07:30,516 --> 00:07:32,885 DON'T WORRY. I'LL LIKE IT. 220 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:33,519 OW! 221 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:34,787 SHIT, FORREST! 222 00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:37,857 SPICING THINGS UP IS HARD, JEN-NY. 223 00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:40,493 I'M GONNA GO GET SOME ICE. 224 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,196 BITCH BE OUT OF HER DAMN MIND. 225 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,565 OW! 226 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:46,999 OW! 227 00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:49,135 ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL, LET'S GET SEXY! 228 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:52,104 THAT WAS A TERRIBLE WAY TO START A GRIEF-COUNSELING 229 00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:52,705 SESSION. 230 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,473 YEAH. HOW TERRIBLE. 231 00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:57,510 HONEY, LOOK OUT! 232 00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:58,311 CLICHé! 233 00:07:58,377 --> 00:07:59,645 HUH? 234 00:07:59,712 --> 00:08:01,914 [ ALL SCREAMING ] 235 00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:03,616 WHAT'S HAPPENING?! 236 00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:04,250 KRE-O! 237 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,752 THEY'RE EVERYWH-- AAH! 238 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:07,920 RUN! 239 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,388 THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM. 240 00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:11,858 THEY LOOK LIKE US BUT DIFFERENT! 241 00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:13,326 THIS WAY! HURRY! 242 00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:20,233 YOUR LIFE HAS MORE VALUE THAN OTHER PEOPLE! 243 00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,435 JERRY, WE NEED YOUR EXPERTISE! 244 00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:23,603 MY EXPERTISE? 245 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:24,470 I'M NOT A SOLDIER! 246 00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:26,439 JERRY, WE NEED A LAWYER. 247 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,477 PUT SIMPLY, JERRY, WE'RE BEING INVADED... 248 00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,479 BY IMITATION BLOCKS. 249 00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:36,282 OFF-BRAND PRODUCTS WITH A TASTE FOR LEGO BLOOD! 250 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,318 THEY'RE NEARLY IDENTICAL BUT DIFFERENT...WRONG. 251 00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:41,554 LIKE WHEN YOU SIT ON YOUR HAND UNTIL IT GOES TO SLEEP. 252 00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:44,023 YOU TRY TO PRETEND FLO FROM THE PROGRESSIVE COMMERCIALS IS 253 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,225 GIVING YOU AN H.J., BUT YOU KNOW IT'S NOT FLO. 254 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:47,293 YOU KNOW THAT! 255 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,862 SHE'D NEVER BE SO CLUMSY, SO ARTLESS. 256 00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:50,930 THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! 257 00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:51,931 WE'RE TRADEMARKED! 258 00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:52,832 NO, GENERAL. 259 00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,700 LEGO BRICKS AREN'T PROTECTED BY TRADEMARK. 260 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,035 THEY'RE PROTECTED BY PATENT. 261 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,837 HELL, MAN, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 262 00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,305 THE DIFFERENCE IS... 263 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,040 PATENTS EXPIRE. 264 00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:03,843 COOL! SOMEONE TURNED THAT LEGAL DOCUMENT INTO A GIF. 265 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:04,510 THAT'S FUN. 266 00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:05,544 ISN'T IT "JIFF"? 267 00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:06,812 ANYWAY, HOW DO WE STOP IT? 268 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,214 THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO. 269 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,081 Don't worry, Flo. 270 00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:10,082 I'll protect you. 271 00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:11,851 DON'T WORRY, GIRL FROM THE WENDY'S COMMERCIALS. 272 00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:14,086 DON'T WORRY, GEICO GECKO. 273 00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:17,490 THEY COVERED THE WHOLE GLOBE IN NO TIME -- MEGA BLOKS, KRE-O, 274 00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:21,527 BEST-LOCK, CoCo, BanBao, ROKENBOK, SUPER BLOX, AND LEGGO 275 00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:24,931 WITH TWO G's, WHICH WAS ESPECIALLY INSULTING. 276 00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:27,199 [ ZOMBIES GROANING ] 277 00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:29,368 ♪ LEGO MY BABY ♪ LEGO MY HONEY 278 00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,604 ♪ LEGO MY RAGTIME GAL DADDY, ARE WE SAFE? 279 00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:32,705 OF COURSE WE ARE, SON. 280 00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,073 PEOPLE ARE SINGING, AREN'T THEY? 281 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:34,807 UGH. 282 00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,776 THAT IS THE LOWEST FORM OF MUSIC. 283 00:09:36,842 --> 00:09:40,046 ♪ HONEY, YOU'LL LOSE ME ♪ THEN YOU'LL BE LEFT ALONE 284 00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:43,883 [ ZOMBIES GROANING LOUDLY ] THE TERRIBLE SINGING! 285 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,252 THEY'RE ATTRACTED TO THE TERRIBLE SINGING! 286 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,086 OHH! 287 00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,220 OW! 288 00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:49,355 FIRE! FIRE! 289 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,356 THEY'RE TOO FAST! 290 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,958 OHH! 291 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,627 JERRY, I'VE FOUND A WAY TO CAMOUFLAGE OURSELVES! 292 00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:55,895 THAT BEATS MY SOLUTION. 293 00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,396 PEW PEW! PEW PEW! PEW! 294 00:09:57,463 --> 00:10:00,299 LEGOS ARE MACHINED TO A TOLERANCE OF 10 MICROMETERS! 295 00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:01,734 THAT'S WHY WE'RE SO EXPENSIVE! 296 00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:04,804 BUT THIS SERUM WILL MAKE US LOOK CHEAPER AND SLOPPIER! 297 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:05,771 AAH! 298 00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:07,340 WE LOOK LIKE THEM NOW! 299 00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:09,742 I'D...RATHER...DIE. 300 00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:10,309 WHAT?! 301 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:11,911 THEY HAVE TRANSFORMERS? 302 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,779 NO, SON! NO! 303 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:14,647 AAH! 304 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,349 NOOOOOOOOOO! 305 00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:18,751 YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN WANT TO GO ON LIVING NOW. 306 00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:21,454 HUH? OH, THAT WAS JUST A KID FROM MY WIFE'S FIRST MARRIAGE. 307 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,122 BUT THAT LOOKED REALLY PAINFUL. 308 00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,790 HIT ME WITH THE JUICE! 309 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:28,494 [ GROANING ] NO! YOU TURNED ME INTO A FUCKING 310 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:29,362 DUPLO! 311 00:10:29,428 --> 00:10:31,831 IT'S THE SAME COMPANY AS LEGO, YOU FOOL! 312 00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:33,265 AAH! 313 00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,201 AAH! 314 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,370 GUYS, IS THIS ENDING WORKING? 315 00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:38,838 LET'S RE-SHOOT IT. 316 00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:41,340 [ ZOMBIES MURMURING ] 317 00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:43,576 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 318 00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:45,711 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 319 00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:47,847 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 320 00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:50,016 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 321 00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,151 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 322 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,353 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 323 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,322 BA-GAWK! BAWK.