1
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:08,641
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

2
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,977
[ SAWING ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

3
00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:20,019
>> IT'S ALIVE!

4
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:32,564
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

5
00:00:32,631 --> 00:00:38,238
[ SMOOCH! ]
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

6
00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:41,074
>> AND NOW BACK TO DISNEY'S
"GARGOYLES."

7
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,009
>> [ SCOFFS ]
PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT EVERY

8
00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:44,177
TIME WE START TO HAVE SEX.

9
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,011
>> HONEY, COME ON.

10
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,212
WE ARE UNATTRACTIVE PEOPLE.

11
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:47,680
I'M JUST OWNING IT.

12
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,849
>> FIND McCLANE AND BRING ME MY
DETONATORS.

13
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:52,719
>> UNLESS YOU WANT IT TO GET
MESSY OUT THERE, I SUGGEST YOU

14
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,721
START ORGANIZING TRIPS TO THE
BATHROOM.

15
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,590
AND FYI -- THE EAST BATHROOM IS
BEING REDONE AND ONLY HAS A

16
00:00:57,657 --> 00:00:58,091
URINAL.

17
00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,125
>> FINE.

18
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:01,227
[ DOOR OPENS ]
[ HOSTAGES SCREAM ]

19
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:02,462
>> ATTENTION.

20
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,497
IF YOU ARE A MALE WHO HAS TO GO
PEE REALLY, REALLY BAD, RAISE

21
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:06,566
YOUR HAND AND KEEP IT RAISED.

22
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,935
THIS IS YOUR BATHROOM PASS.

23
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,738
WHEN YOUR GROUP COLOR IS CALLED,
YOU MUST SHOW THE LEADER YOUR

24
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,874
PASS BEFORE YOUR GROUP CAN
PROCEED TO THE BATHROOM.

25
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:19,479
IF YOU ARE A WOMAN WHO HAS TO GO
POO, YOU ARE IN THE AQUA GROUP.

26
00:01:19,545 --> 00:01:22,182
[ STATIC ]
>> Hey, Hans, I just took a dump

27
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:24,317
in the east bathroom urinal.

28
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:25,084
>> REGROUP!

29
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,454
EVERYONE HAND BACK YOUR
LAMINATES.

30
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:31,024
>> UH, THIS IS THE SOURCE OF THE
TRANSMISSION, BUT NOBODY'S HERE.

31
00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:33,660
>> SHOULD A COUPLE OF SPACE
TRUCKERS BE MAKING FIRST CONTACT

32
00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:34,594
WITH AN ALIEN SHIP?

33
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,329
>> [ Shouting ] SORRY IT'S SO
MESSY!

34
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,765
IT'S HARD TO GET MAID SERVICE IN
SPACE!

35
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,667
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
WHO ARE YOU?

36
00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,335
>> MY NAME'S GORDON SHUMWAY.

37
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:43,603
I CRASH-LANDED HERE.

38
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:44,637
HOW IRONIC!

39
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:48,274
MY SHIP GOES DOWN, MY INSURANCE
PREMIUM GOES UP!

40
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:50,343
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> THAT WAS HILARIOUS.

41
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,445
MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE HIM BACK TO
THE NOSTROMO.

42
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:53,646
>> Ripley here.

43
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:55,882
Quarantine procedure says we are
forbidden from bringing any

44
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,250
alien life form on board, Kane.

45
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,019
>> THANKS, CAPTAIN PARANOID OF
THE S.S. "RULES"!

46
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:02,922
WE'RE BRINGING THIS HILARIOUS
MOTHERFUCKER ABOARD.

47
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:04,757
>> OOH, NICE OUTFIT, BRETT.

48
00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:07,794
I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A
GOODWILL IN SPACE!

49
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:10,830
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THIS GUY'S JOKES ARE OBVIOUS.

50
00:02:10,896 --> 00:02:12,298
I WANT HIM OFF THE SHIP.

51
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:15,668
>> THE CRAZY CAT LADY WHO
DOESN'T WANT US TO HAVE ANY FUN

52
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,537
DOESN'T WANT US TO HAVE ANY FUN?

53
00:02:17,603 --> 00:02:19,405
I'M GOBSMACKED.

54
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:23,343
>> SERIOUSLY, BRETT, I DRESS
BETTER THAN YOU, AND I'M NAKED!

55
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:28,014
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> [ COUGHING, CHOKING ]

56
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:28,781
>> WHOA!

57
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:30,683
SOMEONE GET THAT GUY A TUMS!

58
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:33,152
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I CAN'T NOT LAUGH AT THIS

59
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:33,953
GUY.

60
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,255
>> YOUR FRIEND JUST CHOKED TO
DEATH!

61
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,290
YOUR SHITTY JOKES ARE GOING TO
KILL MY CREW.

62
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,458
>> CAN'T YOU SEE, RIPLEY?

63
00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:39,659
HE'S THE PERFECT ORGANISM.

64
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,895
HIS JOKES ARE FLAWLESS IN
STRUCTURE AND DELIVERY.

65
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,731
HE NAILS IT EVERY FUCKING TIME.

66
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,332
>> BUT KANE IS DEAD!

67
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:49,502
>> THE ONLY THING THAT DIED IS
YOUR INTERIOR DECORATOR.

68
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:50,168
GEESH!

69
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:57,377
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ ALL CHOKING ]

70
00:02:57,442 --> 00:02:59,379
WHAT A DELICIOUS-LOOKING CAT.

71
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:02,582
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE IT TO MY
STOMACH.

72
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:03,917
HERE, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER.

73
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,952
[ CAT YOWLS ]

74
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:12,125
>> GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU HACK!

75
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,561
>> ANOTHER OUTFIT CHANGE?!

76
00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:16,563
WHAT IS THIS -- THE OSCARS?

77
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,398
HA! I KILL ME!

78
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,833
>> NO. I KILL YOU.

79
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,035
>> HEY, RELAX!

80
00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:25,038
EVER HEAR OF DECAF?

81
00:03:25,103 --> 00:03:28,041
THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK.

82
00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:30,510
ANYBODY GOT ANY BACTINE?

83
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:34,414
>> JUST SHOUTING SOMETHING
DOESN'T MAKE IT FUNNY!

84
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:42,088
>> IS THIS BECAUSE I DIDN'T USE
A COASTER-R-R-R-R-R?!

85
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,757
[ WIND WHISTLING ]
>> JUST A LIZARD WIZARD IN A

86
00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:45,491
BLIZZARD, YO.

87
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,394
NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

88
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,964
>> MUCKMAN, YOU STAY HERE AND
KEEP APRIL SAFE.

89
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:52,899
WE'LL GO AFTER SHREDDER!

90
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,868
>> MAN, SHREDDER AND STUFF.

91
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:57,303
CRAZINESS.

92
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,137
>> YEAH.

93
00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,505
>> HEY. QUESTION.

94
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:03,810
IS THERE A FULL BANANA PEEL
MELTING INTO MY HEAD RIGHT NOW?

95
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:04,477
>> YES.

96
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:07,013
>> THAT IS UNFORTUNATE.

97
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:14,587
[ LOUD FART ]
WHAT THE...WHO DID THAT, MAN?

98
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:17,356
THAT WAS PROBABLY KRANG OR
SOMETHING.

99
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,091
>> KRANG WAS NEVER HERE.

100
00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:20,192
IT'S JUST US.

101
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:23,062
>> NAH, THAT WAS PROBABLY KRANG,
I BET.

102
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,865
SO NASTY! THAT GUY, MAN.

103
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:26,966
>> UH, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

104
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:27,900
I WOULD'VE SEEN HIM.

105
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,035
>> NAH, MAN.

106
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,303
NAH, HE WAS HERE.

107
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,338
HE BLEW ASS, AND THEN HE LEFT.

108
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:35,675
>> MUCKMAN, I KNOW YOU'RE LYING.

109
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,677
>> FREAKING KRANG, MAN.

110
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:41,581
>> THERE IS NO WAY KRANG CAME
IN, FARTED FOR 10 WHOLE SECONDS,

111
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:42,482
AND THEN LEFT.

112
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,751
I ABSOLUTELY WOULD'VE SEEN THAT
OCCUR.

113
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:45,885
LOOK, I DON'T CARE!

114
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,620
YOU HAD GAS! IT HAPPENS!

115
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:51,357
JUST PLEASE DON'T BLATANTLY LIE
TO MY FACE!

116
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,759
>> COOL, MAN! NO! COOL!

117
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:54,427
ABSOLUTELY. I'M SORRY. COOL.

118
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:55,962
WE -- WE ARE COOL.

119
00:04:58,498 --> 00:04:59,966
KRANG, MAN.

120
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,668
>> IT WAS NOT KRANG!!

121
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:05,838
>> [ PANTING ]
>> HAVE YOU SEEN MY SOAP ON A

122
00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:06,472
ROPE?

123
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:07,940
HOW DID I MANAGE TO LOSE IT?

124
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,143
IT'S ON A FREAKIN' ROPE! HA!

125
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,512
>> IT'S STILL NOT EVEN A JOKE.

126
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:18,351
>> I'M GLAD WE FINALLY ADMITTED
WE JUST DON'T WORK AS ROOMMATES.

127
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,286
>> NOW PEOPLE WILL STOP SAYING
WE'RE GAY.

128
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:22,789
>> AH, THIS IS MUCH EASIER THAN
ONE OF US EVER GETTING A

129
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:23,690
GIRLFRIEND.

130
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,391
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
OH, THAT MUST BE THE NEW

131
00:05:25,457 --> 00:05:26,025
ROOMMATE.

132
00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:27,160
I FOUND HIM OFF CRAIGSLIST.

133
00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:29,829
>> UM, IS THAT SAFE?

134
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:33,466
>> WHERE CAN I PUT MY SPOONS?

135
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:34,233
HEY, BERT?

136
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,069
DUDE, AM I WAKING YOU UP, MAN?

137
00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:36,536
HEY.

138
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:37,770
>> WHAT?!

139
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,940
>> YOU EVER PUT A GUN IN YOUR
MOUTH, JUST TO GET THAT TASTE ON

140
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:41,808
YOUR TONGUE?

141
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:44,043
>> NO, SAM.

142
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,912
>> HEY, BERT! BERT.

143
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:46,913
>> WHAT? WHAT?!

144
00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:50,550
>> DO I HAVE BLOOD IN MY
MUSTACHE, BERT?

145
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:53,820
>> OH, IS THIS ANOTHER
HAREBRAINED SCHEME LIKE ERNIE?

146
00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:54,687
OH, MY GOD!

147
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,422
YOU'RE SHITTING IN THE SINK!

148
00:05:56,489 --> 00:06:00,460
>> YOUR TOILET INSULTED MY
SPOONS!

149
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,428
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]
>> HEY, KIDS!

150
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,230
DO YOU HAVE TROUBLE TYING YOUR
SHOES?

151
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,699
WELL, SAM AND I HAVE A SONG
ABOUT IT!

152
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,635
♪ TYING YOUR SHOES IS SO MUCH
FUN ♪

153
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:12,605
>> ♪ THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT
PLANNED 9/11 ♪

154
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:15,975
>> UH... ♪ YOU MAKE TWO LOOPS
THAT LOOK THE SAME ♪

155
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,811
>> ♪ EVERYONE KNOWS THERE WAS NO
SECOND PLANE ♪

156
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,079
WHOOPS! UH-OH!

157
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,247
MY TOOTH FELL OUT!

158
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:24,016
GUESS ANOTHER ANGEL GOT HIS
WINGS.

159
00:06:24,082 --> 00:06:26,552
>> HEY, BERT! JUST WANTED TO --
WHOA! WHAT HAPPENED?!

160
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:29,422
>> OH, ERNIE, I TRIED TO MAKE
SAM THE NEW YOU, BUT INSTEAD, HE

161
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,257
MADE ME THE NEW SMACKHEAD DAVE!

162
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,192
>> OH, BERT, I CAN CHEER YOU UP.

163
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:34,694
[ POP ]
[ RASPY LAUGHS ]

164
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,963
>> HEY, I CAN DO THAT, TOO.

165
00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:40,500
[ GRUNTING ]
>> AAH! OH, GOD!

166
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,334
>> DON'T GO!

167
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,735
>> I MUST, JOHN CONNOR.

168
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,338
TO PROTECT THE FUTURE, I MUST BE
DESTROYED.

169
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,506
>> WAIT!

170
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,609
OF ALL THE ABUSIVE FATHERS THAT
CAME AND WENT, YOU -- A-A

171
00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:53,179
TERMINATOR -- WERE THE ONLY
POSITIVE INFLUENCE.

172
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,448
STAY. BE JOHN'S FATHER.

173
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:56,215
>> DAD?

174
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:58,351
>> AFFIRMATIVE.

175
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:01,120
>> YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PICK ME
UP FROM SCHOOL AND TAKE ME TO A

176
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:01,788
DODGER GAME!

177
00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:02,688
>> OOPS! FORGOT!

178
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:04,590
>> I ORDER YOU NOT TO FORGET
STUFF!

179
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:05,725
>> NEGATIVE.

180
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:08,060
A STRING OF NEGLECTFUL FATHER
FIGURES GAVE YOU A STRONG

181
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:09,228
DISTRUST OF AUTHORITY.

182
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,165
THAT TRAIT LED TO YOUR ROLE AS
LEADER OF THE RESISTANCE AND

183
00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:13,733
SAVIOR OF THE HUMAN RACE.

184
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,969
SO GO GET ME ANOTHER BEER, YOU
PIECE OF SHIT.

185
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,705
[ CAN CLATTERS ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, IDIOT?

186
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,808
>> WRITING A SHORT STORY FOR
SCHOOL.

187
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:27,713
[ BEEPING ]
>> WOULD YOU LIKE MY REVIEW?

188
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,215
THIS IS TERRIBLE.

189
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,584
YOU DON'T WRITE STORIES AGAIN.

190
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:32,485
YOU SUCK AT IT.

191
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:33,753
>> DON'T WORRY! I WON'T!

192
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:38,724
[ SOBBING ]
[ WHIRRING, BEEPING ]

193
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,493
I AM DRUNK!

194
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,794
>> [ SCOFFS ] GOOD FOR YOU.

195
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,296
>> DON'T SMOKE IN MY HOUSE, BOY!

196
00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:45,598
>> I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT IN
MY ROOM!

197
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,466
[ BEEPING ]
>> NOW YOUR ROOM HAS NO WALL, SO

198
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:57,443
IT'S TECHNICALLY PART OF MY
HOUSE!

199
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:59,645
HASTA LA VISTA, BUTT-NUT!

200
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,983
>> HE HAS A POINT, JOHN.

201
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,719
>> IF WE'RE GOING TO SAVE THIS
SHIP, WE'LL HAVE TO TAP INTO THE

202
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:10,089
NAVIGATION COMPUTER AND --
>> WINONA RYDER'S ON THIS SHIP?!

203
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,557
LOCK MY TRAILER!

204
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,860
MY iPOD'S IN THERE! HA!

205
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:20,499
>> I DON'T USUALLY GET INVOLVED
IN DAY-TO-DAY OPERATIONS, SO I'M

206
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,501
SMURFING UNDERCOVER.

207
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:24,203
THEY'LL NEVER SMURF IT'S ME.

208
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,772
[ CHUCKLES ]
OHH, I HAVEN'T SMURFED THESE

209
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,574
THINGS OFF IN NEARLY 300 YEARS!

210
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,443
TALK ABOUT CROTCH ROT!

211
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,381
>> SO, YOU'RE MY NEW INTERN,
HUH?

212
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:36,948
>> THAT'S RIGHT, FARMER SMURF.

213
00:08:37,015 --> 00:08:40,385
TEACH ME TO CARE ABOUT YOUR SAD,
LITTLE LIFE -- I MEAN YOUR NOBLE

214
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,855
AND FULFILLING, UH, CAREER
CHOICE.

215
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:46,225
>> WELL, SMURFS ARE A THIRSTY
BUNCH, SO WE GOT TO SMURF THEM

216
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,427
FRESH MILK EVERY DAY!

217
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:54,500
>> WE'VE BEEN DRINKING
CATERPILLAR MILK?!

218
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,235
OH, THIS IS AGONY.

219
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:58,638
IT FEELS LIKE MY HANDS ARE GONNA
SMURF OFF!

220
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:02,074
>> YEP, MY CARPAL TUNNEL GOT SO
BAD, THEY HAD TO FUSE MY WRIST

221
00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:03,042
BONES IN PLACE!

222
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:05,344
>> BUT OUR HEALTHCARE IS SMURFY,
RIGHT?

223
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:08,714
>> EH, MY DEDUCTIBLE IS 2,000
SMURFBERRIES.

224
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:09,682
>> WHAT?!

225
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:13,185
[ CASH REGISTER DINGS ]
>> DR. SMURF, WHY ARE

226
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,587
DEDUCTIBLES SO HIGH?

227
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:17,023
>> BOY, YOU SMURF A LOT OF
UPPITY QUESTIONS FOR AN INTERN.

228
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,659
UH, JUST TREAT THE NEXT PATIENT
WHILE I GO FOR A JAMBA-JUICE RUN

229
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:20,893
IN MY GOLD-PLATED HELICOPTER.

230
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:21,727
ZOOM, ZOOM.

231
00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:23,195
>> ACTUALLY, I'M NOT REALLY
QUALIFIED.

232
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:26,265
I --
[ DOOR OPENS ]

233
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:27,400
>> WE NEED DR. SMURF!

234
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:28,567
HANDY HAD AN ACCIDENT!

235
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:30,269
>> DID SOMEONE GET A SLIVER?

236
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:31,771
OH, MY SMURFING GOD!

237
00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:34,006
>> I SAWED RIGHT THROUGH A
LOAD-BEARING MUSHROOM!

238
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,942
HALF OUR BUILDING MATERIALS ARE
FUNGUS!

239
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:38,377
OH, TRADE SCHOOL DIDN'T PREPARE
ME FOR THIS!

240
00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:40,746
>> YOU CAN SMURF HIS FINGERS,
RIGHT, NURSE?

241
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:42,381
>> I'LL CERTAINLY TRY.

242
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,050
>> I'LL CERTAINLY TRIED.

243
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,319
>> [ Crying ] YOU CAN PROBABLY
STOP SEWING.

244
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:47,119
>> NO, NO, NO.

245
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,254
I-I'M GONNA GET THIS.

246
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,389
SO, GROUCHY SMURF, HOW'S THE
COFFEE TODAY?

247
00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:51,290
>> I HATE COFFEE!

248
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:52,058
>> OH! OKAY.

249
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:53,759
BUT HOW DO YOU LIKE WORKING
HERE?

250
00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:54,927
>> I HATE WORKING HERE.

251
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:56,062
>> OH, GOODNESS. OKAY.

252
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,731
WELL, IS THERE ANYTHING THAT
MAYBE PAPA SMURF COULD DO?

253
00:09:58,798 --> 00:09:59,799
>> I HATE PAPA SMURF!

254
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,234
>> ALL RIGHT, WHAT EXACTLY DO
YOU DO AROUND HERE?

255
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,170
>> I, UM -- I...

256
00:10:04,236 --> 00:10:05,905
HATE STUFF?

257
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,273
>> I'M BEING DEADLY SERIOUS.

258
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,809
>> I...I...

259
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:13,379
I HATE SHOVELING DOG SHIT.

260
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,215
>> WELL, NOW THAT'S ACTUALLY AN
APPROPRIATE REACTION.

261
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:20,152
CARRY ON, DOG-SHIT SMURF!

262
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:22,488
>> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK

263
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,623
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪

264
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,759
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK

265
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,928
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪

266
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:31,063
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK

267
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,265
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪

268
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,301
BA-GAWK! BAWK.

269
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:39,005
>> HEY. QUESTION.

270
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:43,009
IS THERE A FULL BANANA PEEL
MELTING INTO MY HEAD RIGHT NOW?

271
00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:43,642
>> YES.

272
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,811
>> THAT IS UNFORTUNATE.

273
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:45,945
[ LOUD FART ]
WHAT THE...WHO DID THAT, MAN?

274
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:49,448
[ LOUD FART ]

275
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:52,451
WHAT THE...WHO DID THAT, MAN?