WEBVTT X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:9000 00:00:05.038 --> 00:00:08.875 line:21% position:35% size:48% [ THUNDER CRASHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 00:00:08.942 --> 00:00:10.910 line:21% position:10% size:60% align:start [ SAWING ] [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] 00:00:18.151 --> 00:00:19.819 line:21% position:28% size:28% IT'S ALIVE! 00:00:27.360 --> 00:00:32.465 line:21% position:35% size:48% [ THUNDER CRASHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 00:00:32.532 --> 00:00:38.304 line:21% position:10% size:43% align:start [ SMOOCH! ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 00:00:38.371 --> 00:00:39.906 line:85% position:38% size:48% IS THE WORD "OINK"? 00:00:39.973 --> 00:00:44.644 line:79% position:13% size:65% align:start [ SNORTS ] NOBODY CARES ABOUT A MOVIE 00:00:44.711 --> 00:00:46.146 line:85% position:50% size:78% UNLESS IT'S GOT A TWIST ENDING! 00:00:46.212 --> 00:00:46.746 line:85% position:23% size:25% HE'S DEAD! 00:00:46.813 --> 00:00:47.680 line:85% position:33% size:43% SHE'S GOT A DICK! 00:00:47.747 --> 00:00:48.848 line:85% position:40% size:58% HE WAS CHASING HIMSELF! 00:00:48.915 --> 00:00:49.682 line:85% position:30% size:38% IT WAS A DREAM! 00:00:49.749 --> 00:00:50.650 line:85% position:33% size:45% IT WASN'T A DREAM! 00:00:50.717 --> 00:00:51.518 line:85% position:30% size:40% HE WAS A MIDGET! 00:00:51.584 --> 00:00:52.519 line:85% position:35% size:48% HE WAS TWO MIDGETS! 00:00:52.585 --> 00:00:54.320 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start THAT'S WHAT SELLS TICKETS, FELLAS! 00:00:54.387 --> 00:00:57.557 line:79% position:45% size:70% YOU'RE SUGGESTING WE RE-RELEASE OUR HITS WITH NEW 00:00:57.624 --> 00:00:58.591 line:85% position:28% size:35% TWIST ENDINGS? 00:00:58.658 --> 00:01:03.630 line:79% position:13% size:33% align:start I WAS JUST -- DO IT. 00:01:03.696 --> 00:01:05.465 line:85% position:43% size:58% AUNTIE EM? UNCLE HENRY? 00:01:05.532 --> 00:01:07.066 line:85% position:35% size:50% AM I BACK IN KANSAS? 00:01:07.133 --> 00:01:08.902 line:85% position:40% size:55% THE GOOD NEWS IS, YES. 00:01:08.968 --> 00:01:13.173 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start THE BETTER NEWS IS, IT'S KANSAS 3,000 YEARS IN THE FUTURE. 00:01:13.239 --> 00:01:15.108 line:85% position:48% size:70% SO, HOW'S OUR PATIENT DOING? 00:01:18.445 --> 00:01:19.679 line:85% position:33% size:38% THEY BOUGHT IT. 00:01:19.746 --> 00:01:23.583 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start THEY'LL NEVER GUESS THAT I, QUEEN SATURNAX OF JUPITER, SANK 00:01:23.650 --> 00:01:25.418 line:85% position:45% size:68% TITANIC WITH MY BARE HANDS. 00:01:25.485 --> 00:01:27.921 line:79% position:40% size:60% UH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 00:01:39.299 --> 00:01:40.934 line:79% position:13% size:68% align:start [ ROARS ] JILL, STOP RIDING A JET SKI 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:41.701 line:85% position:25% size:28% IN MY POOL! 00:01:41.768 --> 00:01:42.902 line:85% position:35% size:43% DON'T YELL AT ME! 00:01:42.969 --> 00:01:43.970 line:85% position:30% size:40% I'M YOUR SISTER! 00:01:44.037 --> 00:01:46.906 line:79% position:43% size:65% WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' -- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 00:01:46.973 --> 00:01:51.544 line:79% position:50% size:78% YOU'RE JACK, BUT YOU'RE ALSO JILL BECAUSE THE REAL JILL DIED 00:01:51.611 --> 00:01:53.480 line:85% position:43% size:63% WHEN SHE WAS 8 YEARS OLD! 00:01:53.546 --> 00:01:55.281 line:85% position:38% size:50% NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! 00:01:55.348 --> 00:01:58.451 line:79% position:43% size:65% WHY DOES JILL LOOK EXACTLY LIKE YOU?! 00:01:58.518 --> 00:02:00.386 line:85% position:18% size:8% NO! 00:02:10.530 --> 00:02:12.131 line:79% position:38% size:53% [ BABBLING ] HA HA! TEACHER'S PET. 00:02:12.198 --> 00:02:15.168 line:79% position:13% size:73% align:start [ BARKING ] HI. WE'RE AberZombie & FITCH, 00:02:15.235 --> 00:02:18.571 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start THE WORLD'S FIRST -- AND BEST -- ZOMBIE IMPROV GROUP. 00:02:18.638 --> 00:02:21.774 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start NOW, TO START, WE NEED SOMEONE TO SUGGEST A THING. 00:02:21.841 --> 00:02:22.742 line:85% position:23% size:18% BRAINS! 00:02:22.809 --> 00:02:25.712 line:79% position:50% size:65% UH, COULD WE GET SOMETHING OTHER THAN BRAINS? 00:02:25.778 --> 00:02:26.846 line:85% position:25% size:25% HEY, GUYS! 00:02:26.913 --> 00:02:30.283 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start WE'RE THE CHARACTERS FROM THE TV SHOW "SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK!" 00:02:30.350 --> 00:02:33.987 line:79% position:45% size:70% 20 YEARS AGO, WE TAUGHT KIDS BASIC GRAMMAR AND MATH WITH 00:02:34.053 --> 00:02:37.190 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start MUSIC, BUT THOSE KIDS GREW INTO ILLITERATE ADULTS. 00:02:37.257 --> 00:02:40.627 line:79% position:45% size:68% SO, WE'RE BACK WITH NEW SONGS SINCE NOBODY SEEMS TO 00:02:40.693 --> 00:02:43.963 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start REMEMBER THE SHIT WE TRIED TO TEACH 20 YEARS AGO. 00:02:44.030 --> 00:02:45.031 line:85% position:28% size:30% REMEMBER ME? 00:02:45.098 --> 00:02:46.933 line:85% position:48% size:75% I SANG "CONJUNCTION JUNCTION." 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:51.237 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start LET'S TALK ABOUT ONE WAY YOUR GRAMMAR DOESN'T FUNCTION. 00:02:51.304 --> 00:02:54.641 line:79% position:48% size:75% ♪ APOSTROPHES ARE REALLY FUN ♪ THEY MEAN SOMETHING IS OWNED 00:02:54.707 --> 00:02:57.911 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start BY HIM OR HER ♪ LIKE MICHAEL'S MARKER OR 00:02:57.977 --> 00:02:59.178 line:85% position:43% size:63% STEPHANIE'S PRETTY DRESS. 00:02:59.245 --> 00:03:00.113 line:85% position:30% size:35% REMEMBER THAT? 00:03:00.179 --> 00:03:01.314 line:85% position:35% size:43% IT'S REALLY EASY. 00:03:01.381 --> 00:03:04.050 line:79% position:50% size:73% SO, WHEN YOU'RE A WAITRESS AT A LOCAL DINER AND YOU WRITE 00:03:04.117 --> 00:03:06.286 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start "LUNCH SPECIAL'S" WITH AN APOSTROPHE... 00:03:06.352 --> 00:03:09.455 line:79% position:50% size:63% All: TAKE FIVE FUCKING SECONDS TO REMEMBER BASIC 00:03:09.522 --> 00:03:11.758 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start GRAMMAR, YOU MORONIC PIECE OF SHIT. 00:03:11.824 --> 00:03:14.260 line:85% position:18% size:8% OW. 00:03:14.327 --> 00:03:15.461 line:85% position:28% size:30% REMEMBER ME? 00:03:15.528 --> 00:03:18.598 line:79% position:50% size:73% I TAUGHT YOU ABOUT NUMBERS IN THE SONG "MY HERO, ZERO," YET 00:03:18.665 --> 00:03:21.034 line:85% position:40% size:58% BASIC MATH ESCAPES YOU. 00:03:21.100 --> 00:03:24.837 line:79% position:13% size:75% align:start ♪ PLUS, MINUS, TIMES, DIVIDE ♪ JUST HAVE ONE SHRED OF PRIDE 00:03:24.904 --> 00:03:27.740 line:79% position:50% size:80% I'M A 6-YEAR-OLD WITH DOWN SYNDROME, AND I UNDERSTAND. 00:03:27.807 --> 00:03:30.143 line:79% position:45% size:68% ♪ SO WHEN YOU'RE STRUGGLING TO SPLIT A CHECK AND YOUR 00:03:30.209 --> 00:03:33.846 line:79% position:48% size:73% SOLUTION IS TO GO HIGH-TECH ♪ All: TAKE FIVE FUCKING 00:03:33.913 --> 00:03:37.984 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start SECONDS TO REMEMBER BASIC MATH, YOU MORONIC PIECE OF SHIT. 00:03:38.051 --> 00:03:38.318 line:85% position:18% size:10% AAH! 00:03:38.384 --> 00:03:39.852 line:85% position:18% size:8% OH! 00:03:39.919 --> 00:03:42.755 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start ERRORS LIKE THIS ARE SO COMMONPLACE. 00:03:42.822 --> 00:03:46.459 line:79% position:48% size:73% IT'S PROBABLY THE DOWNFALL OF THE HUMAN RACE! 00:03:46.526 --> 00:03:50.930 line:79% position:50% size:75% All: ♪ SO TAKE FIVE SECONDS TO REMEMBER BASIC LESSONS, YOU 00:03:50.997 --> 00:03:55.768 line:79% position:40% size:58% MORONIC PIECE OF SHIT ♪ BECAUSE THEY'RE REALLY 00:03:55.835 --> 00:03:57.070 line:85% position:20% size:18% SIMPLE. 00:03:57.136 --> 00:04:00.039 line:79% position:43% size:65% YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. 00:04:00.106 --> 00:04:04.177 line:79% position:35% size:48% [ SMOOCHES ] OH, SHE WAS ALIVE?! 00:04:04.243 --> 00:04:06.679 line:85% position:50% size:68% I WANT MY MONEY BACK, GUYS! 00:04:06.746 --> 00:04:09.782 line:79% position:45% size:70% [ SIGHS ] IS THE WORD "OINK" AGAIN? 00:04:09.849 --> 00:04:12.885 line:79% position:18% size:65% align:start [ SNORTS ] I REALLY NEED TO MAKE SOME 00:04:12.952 --> 00:04:15.088 line:85% position:28% size:33% REAL FRIENDS. 00:04:15.154 --> 00:04:16.255 line:85% position:28% size:28% HEY, ELROY. 00:04:16.322 --> 00:04:17.390 line:85% position:40% size:60% HOW WAS YOUR FIELD TRIP? 00:04:17.457 --> 00:04:18.524 line:85% position:28% size:28% GREAT, DAD. 00:04:18.591 --> 00:04:21.561 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start WE STUDIED AN ABANDONED SHIP AND FOUND A BUNCH OF THESE. 00:04:21.628 --> 00:04:23.396 line:85% position:50% size:73% WELL! A FOREBODING ALIEN EGG! 00:04:23.463 --> 00:04:26.399 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start LET'S BURN IT UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT BUT ASHES. 00:04:26.466 --> 00:04:30.436 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start ANYONE WHO DOESN'T DO EXACTLY THAT IS THE LOWEST FORM OF FOOL. 00:04:30.503 --> 00:04:32.338 line:85% position:45% size:63% AW, DAD, CAN'T I KEEP IT? 00:04:32.405 --> 00:04:39.979 line:79% position:43% size:65% WELL, FOR THE SAKE OF ENTERTAINMENT, YEAH, SURE. 00:04:40.046 --> 00:04:46.419 line:79% position:50% size:78% [ GROWLING ] REORGE! RAD RALIEN! RAD RALIEN! 00:04:46.486 --> 00:04:49.155 line:79% position:45% size:68% YEAH, ASTRO, HE IS A PRETTY RAD ALIEN. 00:04:49.222 --> 00:04:51.658 line:85% position:38% size:48% RO! RANGER! RANGER! 00:04:51.724 --> 00:04:53.092 line:85% position:40% size:55% RANGER'S A GREAT NAME. 00:04:53.159 --> 00:04:54.060 line:85% position:30% size:38% GOOD IDEA, BOY. 00:04:54.127 --> 00:04:54.961 line:85% position:28% size:28% RO! RO! RO! 00:04:55.028 --> 00:04:55.928 line:85% position:28% size:30% SETTLE DOWN! 00:04:55.995 --> 00:04:58.498 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start GO SNIFF ANOTHER DOG'S BUTT OR SOMETHING. 00:04:58.564 --> 00:04:59.732 line:85% position:25% size:23% RASSROLE. 00:04:59.799 --> 00:05:02.802 line:79% position:50% size:80% NOW, JUDY, YOUR FATHER AND I ARE WORRIED ABOUT HOW LITTLE YOU 00:05:02.869 --> 00:05:06.072 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start EAT, SO TODAY YOU'RE HAVING AN ENTIRE BREAKFAST PILL, YOUNG 00:05:06.139 --> 00:05:07.273 line:85% position:18% size:13% LADY. 00:05:07.340 --> 00:05:09.876 line:79% position:50% size:73% RANGER SLEPT ON MY FACE ALL NIGHT, AND WHEN I WOKE UP, HE 00:05:09.942 --> 00:05:11.144 line:85% position:23% size:23% WAS DEAD! 00:05:11.210 --> 00:05:14.514 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start IT MAKES ME SO SAD, I FEEL LIKE MY HEART IS GONNA RIP OUT OF 00:05:14.580 --> 00:05:18.351 line:79% position:10% size:28% align:start MY -- GGGGRRRHHH! 00:05:18.418 --> 00:05:20.787 line:85% position:43% size:60% WOW! YOU REALLY ARE SAD! 00:05:23.956 --> 00:05:28.161 line:85% position:35% size:43% STOP HIM, GEORGE! 00:05:28.227 --> 00:05:30.963 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start LOOKS LIKE WE NEED A STRONG FEMALE ROLE MODEL TO HANDLE THIS 00:05:31.030 --> 00:05:33.199 line:85% position:20% size:20% PROBLEM. 00:05:33.266 --> 00:05:35.568 line:79% position:48% size:73% YOU MIGHT WANT TO STABLE THAT HIGH HORSE, JANE. 00:05:35.635 --> 00:05:37.603 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start I'M GETTING SOME MIXED SIGNALS HERE. 00:05:43.376 --> 00:05:46.446 line:85% position:25% size:30% AW, DANG IT. 00:05:46.512 --> 00:05:48.314 line:79% position:13% size:48% align:start [ ROARS ] IT MUST HAVE HAD AN 00:05:48.381 --> 00:05:49.816 line:85% position:50% size:78% INEXPLICABLY SHORT GROWTH SPAN! 00:05:49.882 --> 00:05:52.819 line:79% position:50% size:78% ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, IT SURE DOES MOVE THIS STORY FORWARD AT 00:05:52.885 --> 00:05:55.288 line:85% position:28% size:35% A SNAPPY PACE. 00:05:55.354 --> 00:05:56.189 line:85% position:25% size:23% HURRY UP! 00:05:56.255 --> 00:05:58.257 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'VE ONLY GOT THREE WHACKS LEFT! 00:05:58.324 --> 00:06:04.831 line:79% position:50% size:68% [ SCREAMING ] TALL, DARK, AND MYSTERIOUS? 00:06:04.897 --> 00:06:08.735 line:85% position:38% size:53% OH, WHAT A DREAMBOAT! 00:06:08.801 --> 00:06:12.105 line:85% position:50% size:73% GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU BITCH! 00:06:12.171 --> 00:06:20.246 line:79% position:25% size:28% [ ROARS ] [ SCREAMS ] 00:06:20.313 --> 00:06:22.315 line:85% position:33% size:40% PHEW. IT'S OVER. 00:06:22.381 --> 00:06:24.016 line:85% position:28% size:28% REAH. RHEW! 00:06:24.083 --> 00:06:26.452 line:85% position:30% size:40% RRRAAARRRRGGGHH! 00:06:26.519 --> 00:06:32.024 line:79% position:48% size:73% YOU KNOW THAT'S SCARY EXACTLY ONCE. 00:06:32.091 --> 00:06:37.530 line:79% position:40% size:58% [ PANTING, GRUNTING ] HAPPY ARBOR DAY, SUSAN. 00:06:37.597 --> 00:06:40.233 line:85% position:50% size:68% OH, NO. HERE COMES BOW TIE. 00:06:40.299 --> 00:06:42.735 line:79% position:45% size:68% [ As Steve Urkel ] DID I DO THAT? 00:06:42.802 --> 00:06:45.638 line:79% position:48% size:75% "AND THEN LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD AND HER 00:06:45.705 --> 00:06:48.207 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start GRANDMOTHER LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 00:06:48.274 --> 00:06:49.842 line:85% position:23% size:23% THE END." 00:06:49.909 --> 00:06:52.879 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start [ YAWNS ] WHAT A GREAT STORY! 00:06:52.945 --> 00:06:54.981 line:79% position:23% size:23% [ YAWNS ] UGH! 00:06:55.047 --> 00:06:56.649 line:85% position:48% size:73% WHY IS OUR UNCLE SUCH A NERD? 00:06:56.716 --> 00:07:00.019 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start LET'S PUT HIS HAND IN WARM WATER AND MAKE HIM PEE HIS PANTS. 00:07:00.086 --> 00:07:05.525 line:79% position:48% size:75% OR WE COULD CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMAN AND JUST PEE ON HIM! 00:07:05.591 --> 00:07:07.293 line:85% position:38% size:48% OH, A FOREST. NEAT! 00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:11.731 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start I BET I'M LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD JUST LIKE IN THE STORY! 00:07:11.798 --> 00:07:13.266 line:85% position:28% size:35% WAIT A MINUTE! 00:07:13.332 --> 00:07:16.269 line:85% position:50% size:80% OH, MY GOSH! THIS IS WAY BETTER! 00:07:16.335 --> 00:07:18.204 line:79% position:28% size:33% ♪ LA LA LA LA ♪ ON MY WAY 00:07:18.271 --> 00:07:20.339 line:79% position:30% size:40% ♪ GRANNY'S HOUSE IT'S HER! 00:07:20.406 --> 00:07:22.275 line:85% position:40% size:58% LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD! 00:07:22.341 --> 00:07:26.212 line:79% position:50% size:78% I'LL GET TO GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE FIRST, JUST LIKE IN THE STORY! 00:07:26.279 --> 00:07:28.347 line:85% position:50% size:80% FAIRY-TALE HOME INVASION, BITCH! 00:07:34.554 --> 00:07:36.322 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start [ LAUGHS ] WHERE THE FUCK AM I GOING? 00:07:38.291 --> 00:07:39.559 line:85% position:38% size:53% THANKS, MR. SQUIRREL! 00:07:39.625 --> 00:07:42.061 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start SAY, HOW DOES A SQUIRREL AFFORD AN iPAD? 00:07:42.128 --> 00:07:45.164 line:79% position:18% size:63% align:start [ CHITTERING ] THE FOREST CREATURES SOLD 00:07:45.231 --> 00:07:46.232 line:85% position:38% size:55% THEIR DRILLING RIGHTS? 00:07:46.299 --> 00:07:49.569 line:85% position:15% size:10% WOW. 00:07:49.635 --> 00:07:52.205 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start [ UP-TEMPO DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ] WOW! 00:07:52.271 --> 00:07:55.675 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start [ DOORBELL RINGS ] OOH, THIS IS A PRETTY PISS-POOR 00:07:55.741 --> 00:07:56.676 line:85% position:23% size:23% DISGUISE. 00:07:56.742 --> 00:07:59.946 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start SHE'S NEVER GONNA BELIEVE I'M HER GRANDDAUGHTER. 00:08:00.012 --> 00:08:01.113 line:85% position:23% size:18% A WOLF? 00:08:01.180 --> 00:08:03.449 line:85% position:43% size:63% I ORDERED A TEENAGE GIRL. 00:08:03.516 --> 00:08:05.218 line:85% position:38% size:55% OH, WELL. GET IN HERE. 00:08:05.284 --> 00:08:07.420 line:85% position:30% size:33% UM, SO, OKAY. 00:08:07.486 --> 00:08:09.889 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start IF YOU JUST HIDE IN THE CLOSET, THEN WE CAN -- 00:08:09.956 --> 00:08:10.690 line:85% position:23% size:18% NO, NO. 00:08:10.756 --> 00:08:12.592 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ANY ROLE PLAY. 00:08:12.658 --> 00:08:14.660 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start I HAVE DRINKS WITH THE GIRLS AT 6:00. 00:08:14.727 --> 00:08:15.928 line:85% position:35% size:48% LET'S JUST DO THIS. 00:08:15.995 --> 00:08:17.063 line:85% position:28% size:30% OH, MY GOSH. 00:08:17.129 --> 00:08:20.366 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start YOU LOOK LIKE A MOLE RAT SCULPTED OUT OF A LEATHER SHOE! 00:08:20.433 --> 00:08:23.302 line:79% position:48% size:73% YOUR PILLOW TALK LEAVES A LOT TO BE DESIRED. 00:08:23.369 --> 00:08:25.671 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start NOW, SHUT UP AND GET IN THERE, WOLF! 00:08:25.738 --> 00:08:28.140 line:85% position:18% size:10% AAH! 00:08:28.207 --> 00:08:29.342 line:85% position:30% size:35% HELLO? GRANNY? 00:08:29.408 --> 00:08:31.444 line:85% position:45% size:68% IT'S RED, FROM BEAU SOLEIL. 00:08:31.510 --> 00:08:34.247 line:79% position:38% size:53% [ Sobbing ] I WANT MY VIRGINITY BACK. 00:08:34.313 --> 00:08:37.884 line:79% position:35% size:48% [ THUNDER CRASHES ] EW. 00:08:37.950 --> 00:08:40.653 line:79% position:13% size:73% align:start DOES THAT RAIN LOOK YELLOW TO ANYBODY ELSE? 00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:42.421 line:85% position:23% size:18% OH! UH! 00:08:42.488 --> 00:08:43.923 line:85% position:38% size:55% OH, YOU LITTLE SCAMPS. 00:08:43.990 --> 00:08:46.926 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start YOU DID THE "BOWL OF WARM WATER" TRICK ON ME. 00:08:46.993 --> 00:08:49.629 line:85% position:40% size:53% UH, YEP. WE SURE DID. 00:08:49.695 --> 00:08:52.632 line:85% position:40% size:53% UH, WHERE'S THE BOWL? 00:08:52.698 --> 00:08:53.900 line:85% position:35% size:45% GEE, LET ME GUESS. 00:08:53.966 --> 00:08:55.067 line:85% position:35% size:48% IS THE WORD "OINK"? 00:08:55.134 --> 00:08:57.236 line:79% position:35% size:50% [ SQUEALS ] THE WORD WAS "FARM," 00:08:57.303 --> 00:09:00.673 line:79% position:28% size:33% MOTHERFUCKER! [ SQUEALING ] 00:09:00.740 --> 00:09:02.842 line:79% position:45% size:70% HEY, GLAD YOU COULD MAKE THE DRESS REHEARSAL. 00:09:02.909 --> 00:09:04.143 line:85% position:43% size:60% WELL, IT BETTER BE GOOD. 00:09:04.210 --> 00:09:06.445 line:79% position:10% size:78% align:start ANOTHER DEBACLE LIKE "SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK" 00:09:06.512 --> 00:09:07.613 line:85% position:33% size:43% AND WE'RE RUINED! 00:09:07.680 --> 00:09:09.849 line:79% position:48% size:73% WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA LOVE "AVENGERS...MUSICTACULAR 00:09:09.916 --> 00:09:10.683 line:85% position:33% size:43% TAP-STRAVAGANZA." 00:09:10.750 --> 00:09:11.851 line:85% position:43% size:58% WAIT. IT'S CALLED WHAT? 00:09:11.918 --> 00:09:15.621 line:79% position:48% size:75% YOU SAY THIS SUPER-SOLDIER SERUM WILL MAKE HIM RUN, JUMP, 00:09:15.688 --> 00:09:18.291 line:79% position:25% size:28% FIGHT -- ♪ AND DANCE 00:09:23.663 --> 00:09:26.232 line:79% position:50% size:68% I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE HOOF IT LIKE THAT! 00:09:26.299 --> 00:09:30.636 line:85% position:50% size:70% HE'S HOOFIN' IT FOR AMERICA! 00:09:30.703 --> 00:09:35.374 line:79% position:43% size:65% ♪ THEY SAY ONLY FOOLS EVER DANCE IN THE RAIN ♪ 00:09:35.441 --> 00:09:39.612 line:79% position:38% size:55% ♪ BUT THOR-TUNATELY... ♪ YOU'RE WITH WITH THE 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:43.249 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start THUNDER GO-O-O-O-D ♪ ♪ I'M NOT A BLUNDER GOD 00:09:43.316 --> 00:09:45.584 line:79% position:13% size:75% align:start [ THUNDER CRASHES ] ♪ COME HOME AND SLUMBER, BROAD 00:09:45.651 --> 00:09:52.959 line:79% position:45% size:63% ♪ RENDER US ASUNDER, GOD ♪ I SPIN A WEB OF FANTASY 00:09:53.025 --> 00:09:55.261 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start ♪ THROUGH TIGHT DRESSES AND WHISPERED TALK ♪ 00:09:55.328 --> 00:09:59.999 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start ♪ BUT MY WEB ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO CATCH MYSELF ♪ 00:10:00.066 --> 00:10:03.536 line:79% position:50% size:68% ♪ A HAWK ♪ I SOARED ABOVE THE PEOPLE 00:10:03.602 --> 00:10:05.972 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start ♪ MY ARROWS PIERCED THEIR BONES ♪ 00:10:06.038 --> 00:10:11.911 line:79% position:10% size:80% align:start ♪ BUT THE ONLY ARROW I WON'T USE IS THE ONE THAT CUPID OWNS ♪ 00:10:11.978 --> 00:10:14.947 line:79% position:50% size:68% YOU KNOW, IN SOUTH AMERICA, THEY HAVE SPIDERS THAT EAT 00:10:15.014 --> 00:10:17.416 line:85% position:18% size:15% BIRDS. 00:10:17.483 --> 00:10:19.485 line:79% position:28% size:33% ♪ I SHALL WIN ♪ I SHALL WIN 00:10:19.552 --> 00:10:22.521 line:79% position:40% size:60% ♪ THEN YOU'RE GONNA SULK ♪ NO, YOU WON'T 00:10:22.588 --> 00:10:29.228 line:79% position:13% size:75% align:start ♪ NO, YOU WON'T ♪ 'CAUSE WE HAVE A HU-U-U-U-LK 00:10:29.295 --> 00:10:30.830 line:79% position:33% size:45% ♪ THEY HAVE A HULK ♪ THEY HAVE A HULK 00:10:30.896 --> 00:10:33.933 line:79% position:10% size:45% align:start ♪ DID YOU HEAR? ♪ THEY HAVE A HULK 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:37.570 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start ♪ ONE HULK TO BEAT AN ARMY ♪ ONE HULK TO SMASH THEM ALL 00:10:37.636 --> 00:10:40.840 line:79% position:13% size:63% align:start [ SCREAMS ] UH, WE'RE INSURED, RIGHT? 00:10:40.906 --> 00:10:42.208 line:85% position:35% size:45% YES, SOUP TO NUTS. 00:10:42.274 --> 00:10:43.676 line:85% position:38% size:50% I NEED AN AMBULANCE! 00:10:43.743 --> 00:10:45.011 line:85% position:35% size:45% SOMEBODY CALL 911! 00:10:45.077 --> 00:10:48.714 line:85% position:50% size:73% I CAN'T FEEL MY FUCKING LEGS! 00:10:48.914 --> 00:10:51.250 line:15% position:35% size:48% ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 00:10:51.317 --> 00:10:53.386 line:15% position:10% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:10:53.452 --> 00:10:55.521 line:15% position:35% size:48% ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 00:10:55.588 --> 00:10:57.690 line:15% position:10% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:10:57.757 --> 00:10:59.825 line:15% position:35% size:48% ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 00:10:59.892 --> 00:11:02.028 line:15% position:10% size:78% align:start ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 00:11:02.094 --> 00:11:03.963 line:15% position:28% size:35% BA-GAWK! BAWK.