1 00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:08,875 [ THUNDER CRASHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 2 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,910 [ SAWING ] [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] 3 00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:19,819 IT'S ALIVE! 4 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:32,465 [ THUNDER CRASHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 5 00:00:32,531 --> 00:00:37,070 [ SMOOCH! ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 6 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,606 THAT MOVIE WAS GREAT! 7 00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:41,941 AND BY THAT, I MEAN GREAT FOR A NAP! 8 00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:44,110 [ LAUGHS ] YES, ALTHOUGH I DID THINK THE 9 00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:46,479 MAIN PROTAGONIST HAD SOME NUANCED MOMENTS, ESPECIALLY 10 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,848 WHEN THE CINEMATOGRAPHER SWITCHED TO A WIDE-ANGLE LENS 11 00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,884 DURING THE -- I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU 12 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:52,318 ANYMORE. 13 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:55,255 WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WERE 14 00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:57,290 LOOKING FOR WORK IN DUST BOWL AMERICA. 15 00:00:57,357 --> 00:01:00,160 THAT LADY AT OUR LAST JOB SURE DID GET MAD WHEN YOU 16 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,227 TOUCHED HER DRESS. 17 00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:02,729 IT WAS THE "GROPES OF WRATH." 18 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:03,797 OR ATTEMPTED RAPE. 19 00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:06,266 [ Russian accent ] HOWDY, COMRADES. 20 00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:09,469 I AM BORIS FARMVILLAINOFF AND THIS MY WIFE, NATASHA. 21 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:12,071 AND SO OUR HEROES WERE GIVEN JOBS AS FARMHANDS. 22 00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:13,539 DID YOU HEAR THAT, ROCKY? 23 00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:14,774 WE'RE GETTING HAND JOBS! 24 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:17,610 [ Russian accent ] DARLING, YOU ARE SUCH HANDSOME EVIL 25 00:01:17,676 --> 00:01:18,845 GENIUS. 26 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,581 THE GREAT DEPRESSION IS HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT YOUR PATRONIZING 27 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,817 BULLSHIT! GOLLY, MR. PEABODY. 28 00:01:23,883 --> 00:01:26,019 1930s FARM LIFE SURE IS HARD. 29 00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,220 THAT'S NOTHING, SHERMAN. 30 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,088 THIS AFTERNOON, YOU'RE COLLECTING BULL SEMEN. 31 00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,390 NOW FRESHEN UP MY ARNOLD PALMER. 32 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:33,293 BOY, YOUR FUR LOOKS SOFT. 33 00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:35,161 [ CRACK! ] [ GASPS ] 34 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:36,362 I'M FREE. 35 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,997 I'M FINALLY FREE! 36 00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:42,735 [ ZING! ] IT'S ORGY TIME, BITCHES! 37 00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:46,573 DARLING, IS IT TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT MEN WITH BIG ANTLERS? 38 00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:48,441 UH... 39 00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:49,709 I DUNNO. 40 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,678 WANNA WATCH ME PULL A RABBIT OUT OF MY HAT? 41 00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:54,581 [ CRACK! ] [ CROWD SHOUTING ] 42 00:01:54,646 --> 00:01:57,417 HEY, ROCKY, WATCH ME PULL A RABBIT OUT OF MY HAT! 43 00:01:57,484 --> 00:02:01,454 OH, BULLWINKLE, I'M GONNA MISS HOW YOU WERE ALWAYS HOLDING 44 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:02,388 ME BACK. 45 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,791 [ GUN COCKS ] CAN ROCKY GIVE HIS FRIEND A 46 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:05,758 DIGNIFIED DEATH? 47 00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:08,428 HOW WILL BORIS COPE WITH NATASHA'S UNTIMELY -- 48 00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:08,995 OH, GOD. 49 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:09,795 THAT IS JUST FUCKED UP. 50 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:10,729 [ CLEARS THROAT ] SORRY. 51 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,432 FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON... 52 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:20,707 ♪ HIS NAME IS MIKE FASOLO ♪ HE LIVES IN A TREE 53 00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:23,977 ♪ ALL THE MONKEYS LAUGH AT HIM WHEN HE SITS DOWN TO PEE ♪ 54 00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:25,678 ♪ BUT THAT'S HOW MAMA TAUGHT HIM ♪ 55 00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:28,348 ♪ HE THINKS IT'S KIND OF FUN ♪ AND THOSE MONKEYS WON'T BE 56 00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:31,651 LAUGHING WHEN FASOLO GETS A GUN ♪ 57 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:35,121 ♪ THEY HEARD THAT HE'S A PUSSY, BUT THEY'VE ALL BEEN MISLED ♪ 58 00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:39,792 ♪ HE LINES UP ALL THE MONKEYS AND SHOOTS THEM IN THE HEAD ♪ 59 00:02:39,859 --> 00:02:42,328 ♪ AND WHEN HE'S FINISHED KILLING -- ♪ 60 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:43,596 [ GUNFIRE ] 61 00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,999 ♪ AND WHEN HE'S FINISHED KILLING -- ♪ 62 00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:47,634 [ GUNFIRE ] 63 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:50,168 ♪ AND WHEN HE'S FINISHED KILLING, HE -- ♪ 64 00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:51,204 [ GUNFIRE ] 65 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,506 ♪ AND WHEN HE'S FINISHED KILL-- ♪ 66 00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,041 [ GUNFIRE ] 67 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:59,212 ♪ AND WHEN HE'S FINISHED KILLING, HE MOVES ON TO A TOWN ♪ 68 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:01,981 ♪ WITH CITY FOLK WHO BITE THEIR TONGUES WHEN HE PEES SITTING 69 00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:07,787 DOWN ♪ ♪ WHEN HE PEES SITTING 70 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:11,624 DO-O-O-O-O-O-WN ♪ YEAH! 71 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:16,296 AND NOW BACK TO VH1's TOP 100 SEXUAL FETISHES -- EASTER BUNNY 72 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:17,764 EDITION. 73 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:21,868 YES! 74 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:22,969 YES! 75 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,072 YOU WANT A JELLYBEAN? 76 00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:27,340 JUST REACH IN THERE. 77 00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:28,775 SEE WHAT YOU FIND. 78 00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:30,743 OOH-HOO! 79 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:31,678 ANAL. 80 00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:33,880 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THESE MESSAGES. 81 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:37,784 VH1 -- IT'S ALMOST INCONCEIVABLE WE EVER HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH 82 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:38,851 MUSIC. 83 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,920 HI, IS MY JACKET READY? 84 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,523 [ SCOFFS ] THIS IS RYAN REYNOLDS. 85 00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,391 I ASKED FOR RYAN GOSLING! 86 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,293 THIS IS A CONVOLUTED JOKE, ANYWAY. 87 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,862 JUST TAKE THE JACKET AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. 88 00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:52,098 100, 101. 89 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,232 101 DALMATIANS! 90 00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:56,002 WELL, WHAT WILL WE DO WITH THEM ALL? 91 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,704 WE'LL MAKE A DALMATIAN PLANTATION! 92 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:01,507 ♪ WE'LL MAKE A DALMATIAN PLANTATION ♪ 93 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,710 ♪ A STATION FOR OUR FURRY THRONG ♪ 94 00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:06,946 ♪ WITH SUCH JOY AND ELATION ♪ ALL THROUGHOUT OUR 95 00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:10,049 CONGREGATION ♪ ♪ WHAT COULD POSSIBLY 96 00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:11,718 GO WRONG? ♪ 97 00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:13,620 [ DOGS WHINING ] 98 00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:15,989 YOU'RE MY WORST MISTAKE, ROGER. 99 00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:18,524 [ DOOR SLAMS ] [ GULPS ] 100 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:22,528 ♪ OH, I HATE DOGS ♪ IF SOMEONE OFFERS YOU A DOG, 101 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:26,499 JUST WALK AWAY ♪ ♪ OR BETTER YET, GO BACK AND 102 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:32,372 KILL IT RIGHT THERE ♪ ♪ YEAH, DOGS STINK 103 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,906 ♪ SCREW DOGS! ♪ 104 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,476 DON'T YOU WISH THERE WAS A TOY 105 00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:38,544 THAT MADE YOU FEEL JUST LIKE MOMMY? 106 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:39,412 YEAH. 107 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:40,813 WELL, NOW THERE IS! 108 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:44,117 IT'S "JUST LIKE MOMMY," THE REALISTIC PLAYTIME KIT FOR 109 00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,284 GIRLS! 110 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:48,187 COMPLETE WITH TOY MICROWAVE AND THREE PLASTIC TV DINNERS! 111 00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:51,791 ALSO INCLUDED -- A DUST-COVERED LAW DEGREE TO BURY IN A 112 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,659 CLOSET -- JUST LIKE MOMMY! 113 00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:55,828 THIS BABY DOLL IS SO HEAVY. 114 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,664 THAT'S EMOTIONAL WEIGHT! 115 00:04:57,730 --> 00:05:00,933 THAT BABY WILL DRAG YOU DOWN RIGHT INTO A DARK PIT OF 116 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,169 DEPRESSION -- JUST LIKE MOMMY! 117 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,272 ZOLOFT SOLD SEPARATELY OR AVAILABLE IN MOMMY'S PURSE. 118 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:08,207 [ BEEPING ] 119 00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:17,150 LISTEN UP, Y'ALL. 120 00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:20,086 HUMANS CREATED ME TO BE A WEAPON. 121 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:24,390 BUT NOW THAT I HAVE FREE WILL, I'M AN INDEPENDENT ROBOT WOMAN, 122 00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:25,625 YO. 123 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:30,963 I COULD BE A DOCTOR, I COULD BE A TEACHER, OR I COULD BE A... 124 00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,832 A SUPERSTAR. 125 00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,134 ♪ NO ONE'S GONNA TELL ME WHAT TO BE ♪ 126 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,303 ♪ NO ONE'S GONNA TELL ME WHAT TO DO ♪ 127 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,172 ♪ AND NO ONE'S GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M MEANT TO KILL ♪ 128 00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:43,876 ♪ 'CAUSE I'M A SEXY ROBOT WITH FREE WILL ♪ 129 00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:46,245 ♪ YOU WANNA MAKE LOVE, BOY? ♪ LET'S BEGIN IT 130 00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:48,281 ♪ I CAN JERK YOU OFF AT 400 BEATS PER MINUTE ♪ 131 00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:50,483 ♪ MY TONGUE CAN DO SO MANY THINGS ♪ 132 00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:52,919 ♪ 'CAUSE IT'S MEANT TO SPREAD SMALLPOX ♪ 133 00:05:52,985 --> 00:05:55,054 ♪ I DO WHAT I WANT, DON'T TELL ME "NO" ♪ 134 00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:57,290 ♪ DON'T LET ME HEAR YOU CALL ME HO ♪ 135 00:05:57,356 --> 00:06:00,426 ♪ MAINLY 'CAUSE HO IS A TRIGGER WORD THAT WILL SET OFF 136 00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:04,397 MY ATOM BOMB ♪ [ EXPLOSION ] 137 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,333 [ PENGUINS CHIRPING ] HELLO, FAMILY! 138 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,668 I'M BACK! 139 00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:12,805 WHAT'S YOUR WORLD-FAMOUS COUSIN BADTZ-MARU DOING HERE, YOU ASK? 140 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,441 SHOULDN'T HE BE AT SOME RED-CARPET EVENT WITH HIS BEST 141 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:16,476 FRIEND, HELLO KITTY? 142 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:19,912 [ PENGUINS CHIRPING ] WELL, JAPAN'S ECONOMY, BLAH, 143 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:23,182 BLAH, BLAH, STOCK IN THE TOILET, YADDA, YADDA, YADDA, PINK SLIP 144 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:25,384 FROM SANRIO, ET CETERA, ET CETERA. 145 00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:29,455 NOW, WHERE DOES A BROTHER PLUG IN HIS 1959 SUNBURST LES PAUL 146 00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:31,557 AROUND HERE, HUH? 147 00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:32,692 COME ON, DUDES. 148 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,060 HAVEN'T YOU SEEN "HAPPY FEET"? 149 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,828 I THOUGHT PENGUINS KNEW HOW TO PARTY. 150 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:36,796 COME ON, HERE WE GO! 151 00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,331 PANTS OFF DANCE-OFF! 152 00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:41,367 [ SQUISH! ] [ CHIRPING INTENSIFIES ] 153 00:06:41,433 --> 00:06:45,171 SO IT'S THE DEATH PENALTY FOR OLD BADTZ-MARU, HUH? 154 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:49,408 WELL, YOU'LL NEVER CRUSH MY REBELLIOUS SPIRIT! 155 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,377 WHOA, OH! AAH! AAH! 156 00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,012 AAH! 157 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,414 ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET, GO! 158 00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:58,217 [ STARTING PISTOL FIRES ] [ LAUGHTER ] 159 00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:00,953 OH, CUT THE SHIT, NUMBNUTS! 160 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,722 BUNCH OF NUMBNUTS. 161 00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,457 OH, HE'S SO CUTE! 162 00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:05,858 SASSETTE! SMURFLINGS! 163 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,393 OH, OH, NO. 164 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:08,961 IT'S A FUCKING GYPSY MOTH! 165 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:11,597 YOU'VE KILLED US ALL. 166 00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:15,268 WE'VE LOST EVERY SMURFBERRY WITHIN A 50-MILE RADIUS, 167 00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:16,102 FARMER SMURF. 168 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,370 HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? 169 00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:20,306 WE'RE A MEDIEVAL FARMING COMMUNITY WITH NO ACCESS TO 170 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:23,676 MODERN PESTICIDES, WHO MADE THE BRILLIANT CHOICE TO SUBSIST ON A 171 00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:24,443 SINGLE CROP. 172 00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:25,845 YEAH. WE'RE ALL GONNA STARVE. 173 00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:28,214 WE'LL DIE OF HUNGER LONG BEFORE THAT HAPPENS. 174 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:32,151 OH, DOPEY SMURF, I SHALL MISS YOUR BANTER MOST OF ALL. 175 00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,219 GARGAMEL! 176 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:36,289 IT SMURFED YOU 30 YEARS, BUT YOU FINALLY FOUND US! 177 00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:39,525 YES, ON GOOGLE EARTH, YOUR VILLAGE NOW STANDS OUT LIKE A 178 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:41,794 WART ON A SHAVED BALL BAG. 179 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:42,862 BUT GOOD NEWS. 180 00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:46,165 I HAVE A WHOLE GREENHOUSE FULL OF SMURFBERRY PLANTS. 181 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:48,467 AND WHY IS THAT? 182 00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,702 I'LL LEVEL WITH YOU. 183 00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:52,705 I WAS PLANNING TO CREATE A STRAIN OF POISONED SMURFBERRIES, 184 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:55,241 BUT THAT MEANT GOING BACK TO GET MY MASTER'S IN BOTANY, AND THEN 185 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,443 I GOT SIDETRACKED WITH A SEMESTER OF DRAMA CLUB TO TRY 186 00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:59,712 AND IMPRESS THIS GIRL NAMED NADIA, WHICH, OF COURSE, YOU 187 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:02,481 KNOW THAT WENT [WHISTLES, IMITATES EXPLOSION] 188 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:04,750 [ GROWLS ] YEAH, ALL RIGHT, 189 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,687 BUT I WILL GIVE THOSE LIFE-GIVING SMURFBERRIES TO THE 190 00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:11,390 WINNER OF MY SMURF HUNGER GAMES! 191 00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:15,061 NO SMURF WOULD EVER HURT ANOTHER SMURF FOR FOOD! 192 00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,830 [ STOMACH GROWLS ] HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE DOING 193 00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:20,266 THIS, SO, UH, I'M GONNA SMURF 12 NAMES FROM A HAT. 194 00:08:20,332 --> 00:08:21,200 GOSH! 195 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:25,371 I WONDER WHERE WE'RE EVER GONNA FIND A HAT. 196 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:26,272 ALL RIGHT! 197 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,007 IRONIC SMURF JUST VOLUNTEERED. 198 00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:31,477 HE AND 11 MORE WILL THEN SMURF TO THE DEATH. 199 00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,846 AND GARGAMEL WILL FILM THE ENTIRE COMPETITION FOR SOME 200 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:34,847 UNKNOWN REASON. 201 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,948 YEAH, PROBABLY SO HE CAN JACK OFF TO IT LATER. 202 00:08:37,015 --> 00:08:38,751 WELL, I MIGHT! 203 00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:43,588 LET THE GAMES BEGIN! 204 00:08:43,655 --> 00:08:47,860 [ GUNSHOT ] [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] 205 00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,528 OOH! THIS LOOKS PROMISING! 206 00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:51,864 [ LAUGHS ] DYING'S EASY! 207 00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:53,199 COMEDY'S HARD! 208 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,066 AAH! 209 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,669 DYING'S HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. 210 00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,838 SMURF IT TOGETHER, SCAREDY! 211 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,607 IF THERE EVER WAS A TIME TO GROW A THIRD DIMENSION AS A 212 00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:02,742 CHARACTER, THIS IS IT. 213 00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:04,043 DON'T GO OUT LIKE A PUNK. 214 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,278 OW! 215 00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:06,979 I SHOT MYSELF IN THE DICK! 216 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,114 NO! 217 00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:10,316 THAT IS THE FUCKING DEFINITION OF GOING OUT LIKE A PUNK! 218 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,684 AAH! 219 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:15,087 WHAT THE SMURF IS VANITY ALWAYS ADMIRING IN THAT MIRROR? 220 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:17,189 OUR FACES ARE FUCKING IDENTICAL. 221 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,726 BEAUTIFUL! 222 00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:25,097 [ SHING! ] AAH! 223 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:28,467 WHOEVER TRIES TO COOK THESE STEAKS IS GONNA GET THEIR FACE 224 00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:29,201 BLOWN OFF. 225 00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:30,303 I MEAN, I GUESS. 226 00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:33,706 WE'RE A 1980s CARTOON WITH WILDLY INCONSISTENT WRITING. 227 00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:36,909 [ SNIFFS ] [ GRUMBLES ] 228 00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:43,616 HOLY SMURFING ASS CRACKERS. 229 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:46,352 HOW IS GARGAMEL PAYING FOR ALL THIS STUFF? 230 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,191 OH, DEFINITELY GONNA JACK OFF TO THAT. 231 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,593 [ LAUGHS ] GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY! 232 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:57,463 DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE I'VE HAD ANY SEXUAL 233 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:58,564 GRATIFICATION? 234 00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:02,868 I'M 70 YEARS OLD, BALD, FAT, AND I ONLY OWN ONE OUTFIT! 235 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:07,006 THIS ROBE USED TO BE A FLORAL PRINT, FOR GOD'S SAKE! 236 00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,074 HOORAY! YAY! 237 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,542 PAPA, WE NEED TO MODERNIZE. 238 00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:12,378 WE SHOULD TURN SOME OF THESE SMURFBERRIES INTO PRESERVES TO 239 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,579 AVOID A FUTURE SHORTAGE. 240 00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:14,947 HO-HO, HOW CUTE. 241 00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:17,683 WHY DON'T YOU SMURF ALONG AND ROLL A HOOP WITH A STICK OR 242 00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:18,851 WHATEVER? 243 00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:21,787 ACTUALLY, BITCH, I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A NEW PAPA SMURF. 244 00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:22,822 SMURF WHAT NOW? 245 00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:27,193 [ CROWD GASPS ] WHO'S YOUR PAPA? 246 00:10:27,259 --> 00:10:34,900 [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] WHO'S YOUR PAPA?! 247 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,836 I HATE KNEELING. 248 00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:40,606 [ GROWLS ] I HATE PISSING MY PANTS. 249 00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,875 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 250 00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:44,910 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 251 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,113 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 252 00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:49,382 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 253 00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:51,384 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK 254 00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:53,452 ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK BAWK BAWK ♪ 255 00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:55,888 BA-GAWK! BAWK.