1 00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:08,975 [ THUNDER CRASHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 2 00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:11,010 [ SAWING ] [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] 3 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:19,919 IT'S ALIVE! 4 00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:32,564 [ THUNDER CRASHES ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 5 00:00:32,631 --> 00:00:38,238 [ SMOOCH! ] [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] 6 00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:40,774 I SAW SPRINGSTEEN FROM THE BACK ROW, AND HE STILL CRUSHED 7 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:41,474 IT. 8 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:42,575 SHAME ABOUT CLARENCE CLEMONS. 9 00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:44,944 EH, SAXOPHONE IS LIKE THE PARSLEY OF ROCK 'N' ROLL. 10 00:00:45,011 --> 00:00:47,247 A NORMAL CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO MEN. 11 00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:49,416 BUT IS IT NORMAL? NO! 12 00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:52,085 BECAUSE...THEIR DICKS ARE OUT. 13 00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:56,856 WE MEET AGAIN, RYU, ONLY THIS TIME WE FIGHT TO THE DEATH! 14 00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:57,690 ACTUALLY, NO. 15 00:00:57,757 --> 00:00:58,591 IT'S TO KNOCKOUT. 16 00:00:58,658 --> 00:00:59,659 BEST TWO OUT OF THREE. 17 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:00,493 REMEMBER? 18 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,061 IT WAS...ALL...COVERED IN THE PACKET. 19 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:03,396 UM, SORRY. THE WHAT, NOW? 20 00:01:03,463 --> 00:01:05,565 THE PACKET I SPENT WEEKS PUTTING TOGETHER? 21 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:06,833 YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR PACKET? 22 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,767 OH, RIGHT! RIGHT! 23 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:08,601 NO, I HAVE IT. 24 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:10,637 YEAH, IT'S JUST, UH -- IT'S IN THE BAG. 25 00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:12,772 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] YEAH? 26 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:15,375 WELL, KEN, IF YOUR OPPONENT'S LATE, YOU GIVE HIM A CALL. 27 00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,277 THERE'S A CONTACT SHEET IN THE PACKET. 28 00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:19,946 LET'S SEE -- CONTACT SHEET, CONTACT SHEET... 29 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,080 NO, I DON'T SEE IT. 30 00:01:21,146 --> 00:01:23,249 YOU MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN TO PUT IT IN. 31 00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:24,884 FINE. I'LL GET IT FOR YOU. 32 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,486 [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] HOLD ON. 33 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:27,821 WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, GUILE? 34 00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:31,390 I'LL TELL YOU THE PROBLEM -- E. HONDA'S VENUE IS A BATHHOUSE, 35 00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:34,461 LIKE A FULL-ON "WE'RE ALL GUYS HERE, SO LET'S GET NAKED" 36 00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:35,228 BATHHOUSE. 37 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:36,062 WHAT? 38 00:01:36,128 --> 00:01:38,131 IN MY CULTURE, IT'S A FAMILIAR SETTING. 39 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,366 AND NO ONE TOLD ME I'D BE FIGHTING WITH ALL THESE SUSHI 40 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,501 ROLLS HANGING OUT! 41 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,369 IT WAS ALL DESCRIBED IN THE PA-- OH, HOLD ON A MINUTE. 42 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,205 WHAT IS IT? 43 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:48,174 [ SCREAMS ] NO! DON'T YOU SCREAM AT ME. 44 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:51,878 IT'S SPECIFICALLY NOTED THAT YOUR HOTEL DOESN'T ALLOW PETS. 45 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,378 WE -- OHH! WHAT?! 46 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:54,881 IT'S BEEN 20 MINUTES. 47 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,783 I DON'T THINK E. HONDA'S COMING. 48 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:57,650 E. HONDA? 49 00:01:57,717 --> 00:01:59,485 YOU'RE NOT FIGHTING E. HONDA. 50 00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:01,020 YOU'RE FIGHTING A HONDA. 51 00:02:01,087 --> 00:02:02,088 I'M FIGHTING A CAR? 52 00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:03,022 YES. 53 00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:04,757 THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. 54 00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:06,159 IT WAS IN THE PACKET! 55 00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:07,426 YOU KNOW WHAT? 56 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:10,096 FROM NOW ON, YOU LOSE YOUR PACKET, YOU ARE OUT OF THE 57 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:10,864 TOURNAMENT. 58 00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:11,798 FINE, FINE. 59 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,066 I'M PUNCHING THE CAR. 60 00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:14,667 OH. HE'S NOT HITTING BACK. 61 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:15,602 HOW EXCITING! 62 00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:17,770 WOW. WHAT A GREAT IDEA. 63 00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,606 HEY...HEY, THIS IS KIND OF FUN. 64 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:20,874 SHORYUKEN! 65 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:24,544 [ GLASS SHATTERS ] [ METAL CLANGS ] 66 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:25,778 SHORYUKEN! 67 00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:26,779 TIGER! TIGER! 68 00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:28,715 [ BOOM! ] [ Grunting ] OH, MAN! 69 00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:31,584 I ACCIDENTALLY JUST TIGER-PUNCHED MY PACKET, DUDE! 70 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,720 [ CHUCKLES ] THAT IS CLASSIC SAGAT. 71 00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:36,122 I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE. 72 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,790 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] THIS BETTER BE GOOD, 73 00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:38,625 M. BISON. 74 00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:43,530 I THINK I GOT THE WRONG PACKET, MAN. 75 00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:45,198 WHERE I COME FROM, POP MEANS SODA. 76 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,834 THAT REMINDS ME OF THE TIME I DRANK 20 SODAS IN AN HOUR BACK 77 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,002 IN COLLEGE. 78 00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:50,537 DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE COLLEGE DAYS. 79 00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:52,939 "SAVED BY THE BELL: THE COLLEGE YEARS" WAS MY FAVORITE 80 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:53,840 SHOW. 81 00:02:53,906 --> 00:02:56,376 Both: [ LAUGH ] WE MUST HIDE FROM THE 82 00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:57,110 AUTOBOTS. 83 00:02:57,176 --> 00:03:00,780 QUICKLY, MEGATRON! IN HERE! 84 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:07,353 [ TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS ] AAH! 85 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:08,588 WHERE'S OUR ESCORT? 86 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,723 THE GERMANS ARE CUTTING US TO PIECES! 87 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:11,925 WE'RE SAVED, BOYS! 88 00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:13,927 HERE COME THE RED TAILS! 89 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:16,563 [ As Humphrey Bogart ] SOMEBODY ORDER SOME BACKUP, 90 00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:17,297 SWEETHEARTS? 91 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:18,231 WAIT A MINUTE! 92 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:19,599 THOSE AREN'T THE RED TAILS! 93 00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:20,934 THOSE ARE THE SHIRT TALES! 94 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,302 LET'S GO GET THEM, GUYS! 95 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:22,969 DOING! 96 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,270 OH, GOODNESS. 97 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:25,704 I SURE HOPE WE WIN. 98 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,343 DIGGER, THEY'RE ON OUR SIDE! 99 00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:33,012 EH? 100 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,013 DIGGER, NO! 101 00:03:34,079 --> 00:03:35,781 WHOO-HOO! I'M KILLING IT! 102 00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:37,317 WE'VE BEEN HAD, BOYS. 103 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:40,720 THE SHIRT TALES ARE WORKING FOR THE JERRIES. 104 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:44,824 [ WHIMPERS ] WAIT, WAIT. 105 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,359 WE'RE ON YOUR SIDE, SWEETHEARTS! 106 00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:49,028 THAT JERRY'S TRYING TO FOOL US WITH A HUMPHREY BOGART 107 00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,029 IMPRESSION, BOYS. 108 00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:52,365 NO MERCY! 109 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:55,034 [ GRUNTS ] WE'RE AMERICANS! 110 00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:57,136 WE'RE GODDAMN AMERICANS! 111 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,616 THEY WERE JUST ZOO ANIMALS. 112 00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:13,886 HOW'D THEY EVEN MAKE IT THROUGH GROUND SCHOOL? 113 00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:15,822 [ SHIRTS BEEP ] Count of three, take 114 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,196 bin Laden alive if we can. 115 00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:24,697 One, two, three. 116 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,466 All: GO, GO, GO, GO, MOVE! 117 00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:30,570 COMMANDER? 118 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:31,704 LIEUTENANT EDWARDS. 119 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,206 DEAD WHEN WE GOT HERE, SIR. 120 00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:35,341 AN AUTO-EROTIC ASPHYXIATION ACCIDENT. 121 00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:36,509 HE'S...IN A DRESS. 122 00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:39,512 WELL, THAT'S WHEN YOU CHOKE YOURSELF TO CUT OFF THE BLOOD 123 00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,981 SUPPLY TO YOUR BRAIN AS YOU MASTURBATE, SIR. 124 00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,182 IT INTENSIFIES ORGASM. 125 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,752 OH, IT DOES, BUT IT'S DANGEROUS, SIR, OBVIOUSLY. 126 00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:48,788 YES, I DO UNDERSTAND HOW IT WOULD LOOK IF THE HISTORY BOOKS 127 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,824 TOLD FUTURE GENERATIONS THAT A PORN-LOVING JERKOFF ENTHUSIAST 128 00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:54,761 HAD GOTTEN THE UPPER HAND ON AMERICA, YEAH. 129 00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,896 UNDERSTOOD. YES, SIR. 130 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:57,697 MOVE IT, PEOPLE. 131 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:58,831 COME ON! GO, GO, GO, GO. 132 00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:02,502 GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. 133 00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:05,071 SAL, I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GONNA DO IT, BUT I'M GONNA 134 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,239 FUCK THAT THING. 135 00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:09,676 EVERYTHING IN THE HEAVENS IS HERE, MOVING AS THE HEAVENS 136 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:10,743 MOVE. 137 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,513 THIS PREDICTS THE COMING OF THE GREAT CONJUNCTION? 138 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:14,213 NO! 139 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,015 THIS TRACKS AUGHRA'S OVULATION. 140 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:18,251 NOT MANY MORE CHANCES HAS AUGHRA. 141 00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:21,888 SHE MUST FIND A MAN BEFORE THE GREAT MOON SETS IN THE EAST. 142 00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:24,357 WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME? 143 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:27,126 I THINK YOU KNOW ALL TOO WELL, GELFLING. 144 00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:29,062 OHH. YOU'VE GOT CRABS. 145 00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:31,130 OH, BUT I USE THE CREAM! 146 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:32,765 QUICK! COME WITH ME! 147 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,935 I'LL PROTECT YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS SEED. 148 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,036 UH... 149 00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:41,541 I'D LIKE THE MORNING-AFTER PILL, PLEASE. 150 00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:45,712 KING DON, YOU HAVE DRIVEN OUR LANDS INTO RUIN AND BANKRUPTCY. 151 00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:49,649 GIVEN THAT YOU ARE A TALKING SNACK CAKE, I SUPPOSE WE SHOULD 152 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,284 NOT HAVE BEEN SURPRISED. 153 00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,119 TO THE GUILLOTINE WITH HIM! 154 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,656 [ CROWD CHEERS ] [ GRUNTS ] 155 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:57,724 HE DOESN'T FIT! 156 00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,859 OH, IS THIS REALLY NOT HAPPENING? 157 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,128 WE'LL DO THIS THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. 158 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,730 OFF WITH HIS HEAD! 159 00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:04,897 UH, HEAD? 160 00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:08,901 JUST CUT HIM IN HALF SOMEWHERE ABOVE THE ARMS! 161 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,903 WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA BE ONE CLEAN STROKE. 162 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:11,904 THIS COULD GET MESSY. 163 00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:15,708 I HAVE A ROYAL PROCLAMATION -- YOU ARE ALL DUMB 164 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:18,578 FUCKS ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 165 00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,680 NEW PLAN. ANY LAST WORDS? 166 00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,548 I FUCKED YOUR SISTER. 167 00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:23,950 LET'S DO IT! 168 00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:25,885 [ HORSES NEIGH ] HMM. 169 00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:32,391 UH, YOU DON'T SUPPOSE HE REALLY FUCKED MY SISTER, DO YOU? 170 00:06:32,457 --> 00:06:35,128 [ SCREAMS ] HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?! 171 00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:36,462 I'M 80% PRESERVATIVES. 172 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,064 I'M ESSENTIALLY IMMORTAL. 173 00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:43,870 THE REBEL LEADER'S SISTER, AS YOU REQUESTED, YOUR MAJESTY. 174 00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:47,173 THIS IS LESS ABOUT SEX AND MORE ABOUT TYING UP LOOSE ENDS. 175 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,107 WOW. 176 00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:50,243 WHAT A STAGGERINGLY UNROMANTIC THING TO SAY. 177 00:06:50,308 --> 00:06:52,578 EH. I'M A TALKING SNACK CAKE. 178 00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:55,014 JOHNNY! TIME FOR DINNER! 179 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,350 OH, BOY! CHICKEN NIGHT! 180 00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,986 WHAT JOHNNY'S MOTHER DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT EVERY WEDNESDAY 181 00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:02,655 NIGHT WHEN SHE SERVES CHICKEN, JOHNNY IMAGINES HE'S EATING THE 182 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,490 CAST OF THE DISNEY CARTOON "DUCKTALES." 183 00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:06,659 WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, LAUNCHPAD? 184 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:07,894 YOU FREAKING IDIOT. 185 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,028 WHAT WAS THAT, DEAR? 186 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,029 NOTHING, MOM! 187 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,831 HEY, LET'S GRAB DINNER WHILE WE'RE OUT, HONEY. 188 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:12,999 IT'S -- UGH! 189 00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:13,499 OH, MAN. 190 00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:14,066 HONEY?! 191 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,101 HONEY, WHERE'D YOU GO?! 192 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,435 WHAT? BABY, I'M RIGHT HERE. 193 00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:17,270 OH, DEAR LORD. 194 00:07:17,336 --> 00:07:18,571 YOU'RE LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. 195 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:19,472 I CAN'T SEE YOU! 196 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:20,139 HERE I AM! 197 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,374 HERE, BABY! I'M RIGHT HERE! 198 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,310 I'M BEING ATTACKED BY SOME SORT OF POLTERGEIST! 199 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:27,647 AAH! 200 00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:30,750 PREVIOUSLY ON "THE FATTEST FAT LOSER," THE 201 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,351 CONTESTANTS GOT REAL. 202 00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:35,688 MOI HAS ALWAYS CONSIDERED MOI'S SELF PLEASANTLY PLUMP. 203 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:38,191 THAT IS UNTIL I SHATTERED KERMIT'S PELVIS. 204 00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:40,459 [ SCREAMS ] GET OFF OF ME YOU FUCKING 205 00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:41,694 WILDEBEEST! 206 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,030 [ Italian accent ] MY BROTHER LUIGI AND ME -- WE USED TO BE 207 00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:44,931 THE SAME. 208 00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,732 BUT AFTER A FEW YEARS... 209 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:51,170 IF I DON'T CHANGE MY WAYS, THIS IS WHAT THE DOCTORS PROJECT I 210 00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:52,438 WILL LOOK LIKE. 211 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:56,509 I'VE GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT, I CAN'T EVEN FIT IN RABBIT'S HOLE 212 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:57,844 ANYMORE. 213 00:07:57,909 --> 00:07:59,011 WHAT? 214 00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:02,415 I JUST WANT TO LICK MY BALLS ONE MORE TIME OR AT LEAST BE 215 00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:03,683 ABLE TO SEE THEM. 216 00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:06,485 WAIT, WAIT -- I MEAN, I HATE MONDAYS. 217 00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:10,156 ♪ FOLLOW YOUR HEART ♪ BABY, YOU'RE A STAR 218 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:15,394 ♪ A DISGUSTING FAT STAR "THE FATTEST FAT LOSER." 219 00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:18,164 [ FART! ] GROSS! 220 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,666 I'VE MADE LITTLE GIRLS SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT THEIR 221 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:21,667 BODIES FOR DECADES. 222 00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:24,303 THAT MAKES ME THE PERFECT TRAINER FOR THIS SHOW. 223 00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:28,107 OF COURSE, I AM HUNGRY ALL THE TIME, SO I CAN GET A LITTLE 224 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:28,975 IRRITABLE. 225 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:30,743 DOUBLE TIME, SUPER LARDIO! 226 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,578 I CAN-A DO THIS ALL DAY! 227 00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:34,647 THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL FAT?! 228 00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:35,448 SO SORRY. 229 00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:37,984 FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, YOU FAT FUCK 230 00:08:38,049 --> 00:08:38,717 SORRY! 231 00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,620 FIND YOUR SHINING STAR! 232 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,688 VOUS WOULD LIKE TO SPAR WITH MOI? 233 00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:45,024 [ CHUCKLES ] I AM A 4th-DEGREE BLACK BELT, 234 00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:46,192 SWEETIE. 235 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,761 YOU HAVE TO SHATTER THEIR DELUSIONS BEFORE YOU CAN REACH 236 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,964 THEM, THE WAY MY DELUSION OF EVER EATING ANOTHER TIRAMISU WAS 237 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,232 SHATTERED AT AGE 12! 238 00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:56,535 IF YOU THOUGHT FITNESS-TRAINER BARBIE WAS A HARD-ASS, YOU 239 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,204 HAVEN'T SEEN KUNG-FU BARBIE. 240 00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,105 OH, YEAH?! 241 00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:00,206 [ GRUNTS ] [ WHIMPERS ] 242 00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:08,714 [ CRACK! ] OH, MOI HAS TO GO TO THE 243 00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:09,682 BATHROOM! 244 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:12,018 I DON'T CARE HOW YOU LOSE WEIGHT. 245 00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:13,586 [ GRUNTS ] [ FARTS ] 246 00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:16,289 WE'VE HAD A REAL BREAKTHROUGH HERE TODAY, MISS PIGGY! 247 00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:18,524 [ WHIMPERS ] YOU'LL PUSH A WHEELBARROW 248 00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:21,360 FULL OF YOUR TRIGGER FOOD UP TO THE TOP OF THIS HILL, WHERE 249 00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:24,497 YOU'LL DUMP YOUR PAYLOAD INTO THE FIRE, SYMBOLICALLY SAYING 250 00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:27,700 GOODBYE TO YOUR FORMER FAT-ASS LIVES AND GIVING YOU THE 251 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:30,603 STRENGTH TO LEAVE YOUR CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP. 252 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,738 [ CHUCKLES ] YOU HEAR THAT, KEN?! 253 00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,340 I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE! 254 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,275 [ CHUCKLES ] PLEASE CALL ME. 255 00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:40,713 LAST FALL, EEYORE LOST HIS LONG BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION. 256 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,149 FOR YOU, EEYORE! 257 00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,823 HUNG HIMSELF WITH HIS OWN TAIL. 258 00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:53,492 AND...GO! 259 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,561 WOW! I'M IN THE LEAD! 260 00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,296 I HAV LOST WEIGHT. 261 00:09:57,363 --> 00:10:00,666 THIS IS REWRITING THE BOOK ON MONDAYS. 262 00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:04,337 OH! MY BALLS! 263 00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:07,340 H-HEY! THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE! 264 00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:10,009 JON, YOU MONDAYED MY BALLS! 265 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:14,947 Both: [ PANTING ] [ GRUNTS ] 266 00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:16,048 I WON! I WON! 267 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,084 WHEW! I'M ROASTING OUT HERE. 268 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,218 [ SNIFFS ] OH! 269 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,420 IS-A THAT-A MY MAMA'S PROSCIUTTO? 270 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,322 JUST-A ONE TASTE, MAMA! 271 00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:24,623 I WANT A BITE! 272 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,792 NO! THIS IS MY PROSCIUTTO, MAMA! 273 00:10:26,859 --> 00:10:28,627 OH, STUFF AND FLUFF! 274 00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,463 WAIT! 275 00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:31,897 LET-A HER COOK. 276 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,634 WELL, SHE DOES SMELL DELICIOUS. 277 00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:41,207 MISS PIGGY, YOUR FINAL WEIGHT LOSS IS 174 POUNDS! 278 00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:47,046 THE REST OF YOU HAVE GAINED A COMBINED 174 POUNDS. 279 00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:52,051 MISS PIGGY, YOU ARE THE FATTEST FAT LOSER! 280 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:56,589 [ FART! ] GROSS! 281 00:10:56,655 --> 00:11:00,426 ♪ LIFT UP YOUR DREAMS AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART ♪ 282 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:09,135 ♪ BABY, YOU'RE A STAR ♪ A DISGUSTING FAT STAR 283 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,170 [ FART! ] GROSS!