WEBVTT X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:9000 00:00:04.971 --> 00:00:08.942 line:10% position:35% size:50% [ THUNDER CRASHING ] 00:00:09.008 --> 00:00:10.944 line:10% position:35% size:50% [ DRILLING, SAWING ] 00:00:16.049 --> 00:00:18.051 line:10% position:43% size:63% [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ] 00:00:18.118 --> 00:00:19.953 line:10% position:28% size:35% >> IT'S ALIVE! 00:00:38.405 --> 00:00:40.740 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> JOHNNY 5 IS ALIVE! 00:00:40.807 --> 00:00:44.043 line:85% position:33% size:45% JOHNNY 5 IS ALIVE! 00:00:44.110 --> 00:00:46.813 line:85% position:45% size:70% WHAT WILL JOHNNY 5 DO FIRST? 00:00:46.880 --> 00:00:48.815 line:85% position:45% size:68% [ UPBEAT '80s MUSIC PLAYS ] 00:00:51.050 --> 00:00:53.019 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> I'M THIRSTY! 00:00:53.086 --> 00:00:55.288 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> I'M HUNGRY! 00:00:55.355 --> 00:00:56.356 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> I'M BATMAN. 00:00:56.423 --> 00:00:58.458 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> THE NIGHT MY CAR CAREENED OFF 00:00:58.525 --> 00:01:00.059 line:85% position:45% size:70% THAT MISSISSIPPI HIGHWAY AND 00:01:00.126 --> 00:01:01.761 line:85% position:50% size:78% FLIPPED INTO A DITCH IS A NIGHT 00:01:01.828 --> 00:01:02.896 line:85% position:33% size:45% I'LL NEVER FORGET. 00:01:02.962 --> 00:01:04.464 line:85% position:45% size:70% TO BE FAIR, I DON'T REMEMBER 00:01:04.531 --> 00:01:06.199 line:85% position:50% size:78% MUCH ABOUT THE ACCIDENT ITSELF, 00:01:06.266 --> 00:01:07.834 line:85% position:48% size:73% 'CAUSE I WAS BANGED UP PRETTY 00:01:07.901 --> 00:01:08.601 line:85% position:15% size:10% BAD. 00:01:08.668 --> 00:01:10.170 line:85% position:50% size:80% THERE WAS MUCH SPECULATION AS TO 00:01:10.236 --> 00:01:11.404 line:85% position:38% size:53% WHAT OCCURRED ON THAT 00:01:11.471 --> 00:01:13.239 line:85% position:50% size:78% UNSEASONABLY COLD AUGUST NIGHT, 00:01:13.306 --> 00:01:15.108 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT THE MOST COMMON THING I HEAR 00:01:15.175 --> 00:01:16.976 line:85% position:50% size:80% IS, "MORGAN FREEMAN, YOU'VE BEEN 00:01:17.043 --> 00:01:18.945 line:85% position:48% size:75% IN MORE THAN 75 FEATURE-LENGTH 00:01:19.012 --> 00:01:19.712 line:85% position:18% size:15% FILMS. 00:01:19.779 --> 00:01:21.581 line:85% position:50% size:78% WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DO YOU 00:01:21.648 --> 00:01:24.384 line:85% position:45% size:70% DRIVE A 1997 NISSAN MAXIMA?" 00:01:24.451 --> 00:01:26.186 line:85% position:50% size:78% AND FOR THAT QUESTION, LIKE ALL 00:01:26.252 --> 00:01:28.021 line:85% position:50% size:80% QUESTIONS, THERE'S MORE THAN ONE 00:01:28.087 --> 00:01:28.621 line:85% position:20% size:18% ANSWER. 00:01:28.688 --> 00:01:29.923 line:85% position:38% size:53% YOU SEE, A '97 MAXIMA 00:01:29.989 --> 00:01:31.424 line:85% position:43% size:63% REPRESENTED A SIGNIFICANT 00:01:31.491 --> 00:01:33.126 line:85% position:48% size:73% IMPROVEMENT OVER THE PREVIOUS 00:01:33.193 --> 00:01:34.027 line:85% position:28% size:33% YEAR'S MODEL. 00:01:34.093 --> 00:01:35.528 line:85% position:38% size:55% AND COMPARED TO MY '89 00:01:35.595 --> 00:01:37.597 line:85% position:50% size:80% FORD PROBE, WELL, IT WASN'T EVEN 00:01:37.664 --> 00:01:38.698 line:85% position:30% size:38% A FAIR CONTEST. 00:01:38.765 --> 00:01:40.333 line:85% position:45% size:70% IN 2002, THERE WAS A FACTORY 00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:42.101 line:85% position:50% size:78% RECALL ON THE ALTERNATOR, BUT I 00:01:42.168 --> 00:01:43.770 line:85% position:48% size:73% BROUGHT IT RIGHT IN, AND THEY 00:01:43.837 --> 00:01:45.171 line:85% position:40% size:60% FIXED IT IN A DAY OR SO. 00:01:45.238 --> 00:01:46.873 line:85% position:48% size:73% THEY EVEN GAVE ME A LOANER, A 00:01:46.940 --> 00:01:47.941 line:85% position:33% size:43% BRAND-NEW ALTIMA. 00:01:48.007 --> 00:01:49.642 line:85% position:50% size:78% NICE CAR, BUT IT'S CERTAINLY NO 00:01:49.709 --> 00:01:50.376 line:85% position:20% size:18% MAXIMA. 00:01:50.443 --> 00:01:51.778 line:85% position:48% size:73% OH, OH, AND THAT RIGHT THERE? 00:01:51.845 --> 00:01:53.513 line:85% position:50% size:80% THAT'S THE FLIP THAT SHOULD HAVE 00:01:53.580 --> 00:01:54.881 line:85% position:40% size:60% KILLED ME, BUT THANKS TO 00:01:54.948 --> 00:01:56.616 line:85% position:50% size:80% NISSAN'S FIVE-STAR CRASH RATING, 00:01:56.683 --> 00:01:58.017 line:85% position:43% size:63% ALONG WITH DUAL AIR BAGS, 00:01:58.084 --> 00:01:59.319 line:85% position:40% size:58% CRUMPLE ZONE, SEAT-BELT 00:01:59.385 --> 00:02:00.920 line:85% position:48% size:73% PRE-TENSIONERS, AND SIDE-DOOR 00:02:00.987 --> 00:02:02.856 line:85% position:48% size:73% BEAMS, WELL, I'M ALIVE TODAY. 00:02:02.922 --> 00:02:04.824 line:85% position:48% size:75% I SUPPOSE THE OTHER NOTEWORTHY 00:02:04.891 --> 00:02:06.693 line:85% position:45% size:70% ASPECT OF THIS STORY IS I'VE 00:02:06.759 --> 00:02:08.061 line:85% position:35% size:48% BEEN [BLEEP] MY OWN 00:02:08.127 --> 00:02:09.896 line:85% position:35% size:48% STEP-GRANDDAUGHTER. 00:02:11.764 --> 00:02:12.966 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> IT SEEMS LIKE A FORM OF 00:02:13.032 --> 00:02:14.067 line:85% position:38% size:53% HYSTERICAL BLINDNESS. 00:02:14.133 --> 00:02:15.201 line:85% position:40% size:58% HAS HE BEEN THROUGH ANY 00:02:15.268 --> 00:02:16.402 line:85% position:40% size:60% TRAUMATIC EVENTS LATELY? 00:02:16.469 --> 00:02:17.737 line:85% position:45% size:68% PERHAPS SEEN SOMETHING THAT 00:02:17.804 --> 00:02:19.472 line:85% position:40% size:58% COULD HAVE CAUSED THIS? 00:02:19.539 --> 00:02:21.841 line:10% position:45% size:68% >> NOT THAT I CAN THINK OF. 00:02:30.650 --> 00:02:32.185 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE UP 00:02:32.252 --> 00:02:33.286 line:85% position:35% size:48% YOUR POWERS FOR ME. 00:02:33.353 --> 00:02:36.389 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> I...LOVE YOU, LOIS. 00:02:42.161 --> 00:02:43.696 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 00:02:43.763 --> 00:02:46.466 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> I LOVE YOU, LANA. 00:02:46.533 --> 00:02:48.001 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> SUPERMAN...MAN OF STEEL. 00:02:48.067 --> 00:02:49.669 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> SO, I COME OUT OF THE BOOTH 00:02:49.736 --> 00:02:51.437 line:85% position:50% size:80% ALL HUNCHED AND KIND OF WOOZY ON 00:02:51.504 --> 00:02:53.039 line:85% position:48% size:73% MY FEET LIKE THIS, LIKE, "OH, 00:02:53.106 --> 00:02:53.606 line:85% position:15% size:10% OH." 00:02:53.673 --> 00:02:54.641 line:85% position:35% size:48% AND THEN BAM! BOOM! 00:02:54.707 --> 00:02:55.808 line:85% position:35% size:50% KNEEL BEFORE MY ROD. 00:02:55.875 --> 00:02:57.010 line:85% position:35% size:50% HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH? 00:02:57.076 --> 00:02:58.778 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> I'M FAST, PLAYER, BUT YOU THE 00:02:58.845 --> 00:02:59.412 line:85% position:20% size:20% FASTEST. 00:02:59.479 --> 00:03:00.880 line:85% position:43% size:65% BAM! RIGHT UP IN THAT ASS. 00:03:00.947 --> 00:03:02.916 line:85% position:23% size:23% OH, YEAH! 00:03:09.289 --> 00:03:11.424 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> I-I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID 00:03:11.491 --> 00:03:12.792 line:85% position:25% size:30% THAT FOR ME. 00:03:12.859 --> 00:03:16.729 line:85% position:23% size:25% [ CRYING ] 00:03:16.796 --> 00:03:18.364 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> ♪ BA-DA-BOOP, BA-DA-BOOP ♪ 00:03:18.431 --> 00:03:19.532 line:85% position:23% size:23% SUPERMAN. 00:03:19.599 --> 00:03:21.534 line:85% position:45% size:68% [ UPBEAT '80s MUSIC PLAYS ] 00:03:30.043 --> 00:03:30.677 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> DAD! 00:03:30.743 --> 00:03:32.078 line:85% position:45% size:70% IT'S OKAY IF I CALL YOU DAD, 00:03:32.145 --> 00:03:33.246 line:85% position:35% size:50% RIGHT, MR. DRUMMOND? 00:03:33.313 --> 00:03:34.080 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> OF COURSE. 00:03:34.147 --> 00:03:35.548 line:85% position:43% size:65% WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ANYONE 00:03:35.615 --> 00:03:36.382 line:85% position:28% size:35% UNCOMFORTABLE? 00:03:36.449 --> 00:03:37.884 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> DUDLEY AND I WANT TO SPEND 00:03:37.951 --> 00:03:39.452 line:85% position:50% size:78% THE AFTERNOON AT THE BIKE SHOP. 00:03:39.519 --> 00:03:40.253 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> ALL ALONE? 00:03:40.320 --> 00:03:41.187 line:85% position:30% size:40% I DON'T LIKE IT. 00:03:41.254 --> 00:03:42.055 line:85% position:30% size:38% >> PLEASE, DAD? 00:03:42.121 --> 00:03:43.890 line:85% position:50% size:80% I'LL DO ALL MY CHORES THIS WEEK. 00:03:43.957 --> 00:03:45.091 line:85% position:35% size:48% I'LL BE YOUR SLAVE. 00:03:45.158 --> 00:03:46.492 line:85% position:40% size:58% >> OH, NOW, ARNOLD, OUR 00:03:46.559 --> 00:03:48.361 line:85% position:50% size:80% RELATIONSHIP AS FATHER/SON IN NO 00:03:48.428 --> 00:03:50.096 line:85% position:48% size:75% WAYS RESEMBLES THE OWNER/SLAVE 00:03:50.163 --> 00:03:51.898 line:85% position:50% size:78% DYNAMIC OF YES-- YOU KNOW WHAT? 00:03:51.965 --> 00:03:53.032 line:85% position:20% size:20% JUST GO. 00:03:53.099 --> 00:03:54.133 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> BOTTOMS UP, BOYS. 00:03:54.200 --> 00:03:55.702 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> I-I DON'T THINK MY DAD WOULD 00:03:55.768 --> 00:03:56.903 line:85% position:38% size:55% LIKE ME DRINKING WINE. 00:03:56.970 --> 00:03:58.338 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> ARNOLD, I'M A MIDDLE-AGED 00:03:58.404 --> 00:03:59.105 line:85% position:23% size:25% WHITE MAN. 00:03:59.172 --> 00:04:00.640 line:85% position:50% size:80% I AUTOMATICALLY KNOW WHAT'S BEST 00:04:00.707 --> 00:04:01.207 line:85% position:20% size:20% FOR YOU. 00:04:01.274 --> 00:04:03.176 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> YOU DO SOUND LIKE 00:04:03.242 --> 00:04:05.545 line:85% position:28% size:33% MR. DRUMMOND. 00:04:05.612 --> 00:04:10.149 line:85% position:35% size:48% [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 00:04:10.216 --> 00:04:10.917 line:85% position:15% size:10% Dad. 00:04:10.984 --> 00:04:12.285 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> ARNOLD? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 00:04:12.352 --> 00:04:14.053 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> DAD, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 00:04:14.120 --> 00:04:15.822 line:85% position:50% size:78% THE MAYTAG REPAIRMAN IS SHOWING 00:04:15.888 --> 00:04:16.956 line:85% position:33% size:45% ME NAKED CARTOONS. 00:04:17.023 --> 00:04:18.591 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> I WANT YOU TO LISTEN VERY 00:04:18.658 --> 00:04:19.325 line:85% position:23% size:25% CAREFULLY. 00:04:19.392 --> 00:04:20.994 line:85% position:48% size:73% WHAT COMES NEXT IS IMPORTANT. 00:04:21.060 --> 00:04:22.662 line:85% position:48% size:73% HE'S GOING TO ASK YOU TO PLAY 00:04:22.729 --> 00:04:24.330 line:85% position:50% size:80% TARZAN, AND DUDLEY'S GOING TO BE 00:04:24.397 --> 00:04:25.064 line:85% position:20% size:20% INTO IT. 00:04:25.131 --> 00:04:26.432 line:85% position:48% size:73% THE AUDIENCE MIGHT LAUGH, BUT 00:04:26.499 --> 00:04:27.333 line:85% position:30% size:38% IT'S NOT FUNNY. 00:04:27.400 --> 00:04:28.835 line:85% position:45% size:70% THEY'RE JUST CONFUSED BY THE 00:04:28.901 --> 00:04:30.036 line:85% position:38% size:55% MASSIVE SHIFT IN TONE. 00:04:30.103 --> 00:04:31.638 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU GETTING 00:04:31.704 --> 00:04:32.238 line:85% position:20% size:20% AT, DAD? 00:04:32.305 --> 00:04:34.874 line:85% position:18% size:15% AAAAH! 00:04:34.941 --> 00:04:37.210 line:85% position:40% size:58% >> [ Breathing deeply ] 00:04:37.276 --> 00:04:38.578 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 00:04:38.645 --> 00:04:39.912 line:85% position:45% size:68% I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. 00:04:39.979 --> 00:04:41.414 line:85% position:50% size:78% IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR RANSOM, I 00:04:41.481 --> 00:04:42.982 line:85% position:50% size:80% CAN TELL YOU I'M A MAN OF MEANS. 00:04:43.049 --> 00:04:44.417 line:85% position:48% size:75% I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD 00:04:44.484 --> 00:04:45.184 line:85% position:23% size:23% YOU THAT. 00:04:45.251 --> 00:04:46.519 line:85% position:50% size:78% IF YOU RETURN MY SON, THAT WILL 00:04:46.586 --> 00:04:47.453 line:85% position:33% size:43% BE THE END OF IT. 00:04:47.520 --> 00:04:48.988 line:85% position:50% size:80% BUT IF YOU KEEP HIM, I WILL FIND 00:04:49.055 --> 00:04:50.390 line:85% position:45% size:70% YOU AND I WILL AWKWARDLY ASK 00:04:50.456 --> 00:04:51.557 line:85% position:40% size:58% PARENTS TO HAVE A FRANK 00:04:51.624 --> 00:04:52.992 line:85% position:48% size:75% DISCUSSION WITH THEIR CHILDREN 00:04:53.059 --> 00:04:54.427 line:85% position:48% size:73% ABOUT WHAT THEY'VE JUST SEEN. 00:04:54.494 --> 00:05:00.800 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> GOOD LUCK. 00:05:00.867 --> 00:05:02.268 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> WHAT DO YOU WANT? MONEY? 00:05:02.335 --> 00:05:03.736 line:85% position:45% size:68% IT'S NOT MUCH, BUT TAKE IT! 00:05:03.803 --> 00:05:05.271 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> DON'T MATTER WHAT YOU GOT! 00:05:05.338 --> 00:05:06.005 line:85% position:25% size:28% NOT A LOT?! 00:05:06.072 --> 00:05:06.939 line:85% position:23% size:23% SO WHAT?! 00:05:07.006 --> 00:05:09.876 line:85% position:38% size:53% [ AUDIENCE LAUGHING ] 00:05:10.343 --> 00:05:11.878 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> AND THIS IS MY SISTER, 00:05:11.944 --> 00:05:12.812 line:85% position:25% size:30% RAINBOW DIM. 00:05:12.879 --> 00:05:14.480 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> 9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB. 00:05:14.547 --> 00:05:16.482 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> OH, SURE IT WAS. 00:05:16.549 --> 00:05:18.284 line:85% position:38% size:53% [ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ] 00:05:18.351 --> 00:05:19.485 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> HEY, DO I KNOW YOU? 00:05:19.552 --> 00:05:20.219 line:85% position:25% size:28% >> NOT YET. 00:05:20.286 --> 00:05:21.821 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE? 00:05:21.888 --> 00:05:24.290 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> ABSOLUTELY. 00:05:24.357 --> 00:05:27.393 line:85% position:23% size:25% [ GROANS ] 00:05:27.460 --> 00:05:28.161 line:85% position:15% size:10% HEY! 00:05:28.227 --> 00:05:30.229 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU STOLE MY KIDNEY, DIDN'T YOU? 00:05:30.296 --> 00:05:31.631 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> OH, YOU GOT ME. 00:05:31.698 --> 00:05:32.699 line:85% position:25% size:30% [ CHUCKLES ] 00:05:32.765 --> 00:05:34.467 line:85% position:40% size:60% I GUESS I'M THE ASSHOLE. 00:05:34.534 --> 00:05:37.136 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> WELL, LOOK AT THE MIRROR. 00:05:37.203 --> 00:05:38.504 line:85% position:25% size:30% [ WAH-WAH! ] 00:05:38.571 --> 00:05:40.306 line:85% position:20% size:18% >> YOU? 00:05:40.373 --> 00:05:42.175 line:85% position:28% size:35% [ BOTH LAUGH ] 00:05:42.241 --> 00:05:44.010 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> WELL, GOOD LUCK SELLING THAT 00:05:44.077 --> 00:05:44.610 line:85% position:20% size:18% KIDNEY. 00:05:44.677 --> 00:05:46.446 line:85% position:28% size:35% [ BOTH LAUGH ] 00:05:46.512 --> 00:05:48.448 line:85% position:45% size:68% [ UPBEAT '80s MUSIC PLAYS ] 00:05:54.320 --> 00:05:56.255 line:85% position:28% size:33% [ GUN COCKS ] 00:05:58.791 --> 00:06:00.793 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> AND WHEN I LOOKED OUTSIDE, 00:06:00.860 --> 00:06:04.197 line:85% position:48% size:75% THERE ON THE DOOR HANDLE WAS A 00:06:04.263 --> 00:06:05.465 line:85% position:18% size:13% HOOK! 00:06:05.531 --> 00:06:06.799 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> AND THAT'S HOW I MET YOUR 00:06:06.866 --> 00:06:07.266 line:85% position:20% size:18% MOTHER. 00:06:07.333 --> 00:06:08.000 line:85% position:25% size:30% [ CLANKING ] 00:06:08.067 --> 00:06:09.302 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> CONDOMS REDUCE THE RISK OF 00:06:09.368 --> 00:06:10.636 line:85% position:45% size:70% PREGNANCY AND STDs, BUT ONLY 00:06:10.703 --> 00:06:13.339 line:85% position:35% size:48% WHEN USED PROPERLY. 00:06:13.406 --> 00:06:14.540 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> ♪ FRUITY FABLES ♪ 00:06:14.607 --> 00:06:15.675 line:85% position:33% size:43% ♪ FRUITY FABLES ♪ 00:06:15.742 --> 00:06:17.043 line:85% position:38% size:53% [ CHILDREN LAUGHING ] 00:06:17.110 --> 00:06:17.777 line:85% position:23% size:23% >> BARRY! 00:06:17.844 --> 00:06:18.745 line:85% position:28% size:35% JUST WHERE THE 00:06:18.811 --> 00:06:20.613 line:85% position:50% size:78% H-E-C-LETTER-THAT-COMES-AFTER-J 00:06:20.680 --> 00:06:21.581 line:85% position:28% size:35% HAVE YOU BEEN? 00:06:21.647 --> 00:06:23.516 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> OH, JUST OUT. 00:06:23.583 --> 00:06:24.584 line:85% position:18% size:13% OOPS! 00:06:24.650 --> 00:06:26.552 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> WE TALKED ABOUT THIS, BARRY. 00:06:26.619 --> 00:06:28.521 line:85% position:50% size:78% YOUR SEX-EDUCATION JOB VIOLATES 00:06:28.588 --> 00:06:30.156 line:85% position:43% size:63% EVERYTHING WE BELIEVE IN. 00:06:30.223 --> 00:06:31.758 line:85% position:40% size:60% >> YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 00:06:31.824 --> 00:06:34.060 line:85% position:43% size:65% GOD CAME TO ME IN A DREAM. 00:06:34.127 --> 00:06:36.929 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> BARRY, YOU MUST CONTINUE 00:06:36.996 --> 00:06:38.865 line:85% position:40% size:58% TEACHING SEX EDUCATION! 00:06:38.931 --> 00:06:41.367 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> BUT, GOD, ARTHUR SAYS SEX ED 00:06:41.434 --> 00:06:42.268 line:85% position:20% size:20% IS EVIL. 00:06:42.335 --> 00:06:44.337 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> ARTHUR CAN EAT MY ASS. 00:06:44.403 --> 00:06:46.305 line:85% position:48% size:75% WHAT IS THE MOST EVIL THING IN 00:06:46.372 --> 00:06:47.140 line:85% position:23% size:25% THE WORLD? 00:06:47.206 --> 00:06:48.141 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> ABORTIONS? 00:06:48.207 --> 00:06:49.942 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> WHAT LEADS TO ABORTIONS? 00:06:50.009 --> 00:06:50.943 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> PREGNANCY? 00:06:51.010 --> 00:06:52.745 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> WHAT PREVENTS PREGNANCY? 00:06:52.812 --> 00:06:53.746 line:85% position:28% size:33% >> HOLY CRAP! 00:06:53.813 --> 00:06:55.481 line:85% position:43% size:65% CONDOMS PREVENT PREGNANCY! 00:06:55.548 --> 00:06:56.783 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> DAMN IT, BARRY! 00:06:56.849 --> 00:06:58.584 line:85% position:45% size:68% OPPOSING SEX ED IS WAY MORE 00:06:58.651 --> 00:07:00.253 line:85% position:43% size:63% IMPORTANT THAN ABORTIONS. 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:01.053 line:85% position:23% size:23% >> WHAT?! 00:07:01.120 --> 00:07:02.889 line:85% position:45% size:70% >> I DON'T CARE IF THERE'S A 00:07:02.955 --> 00:07:04.290 line:85% position:33% size:45% BILLION ABORTIONS. 00:07:04.357 --> 00:07:06.425 line:85% position:48% size:75% I JUST CAN'T STAND THE THOUGHT 00:07:06.492 --> 00:07:08.060 line:85% position:38% size:55% OF TEENAGERS DOING IT. 00:07:08.127 --> 00:07:09.529 line:85% position:40% size:58% THOSE TAUT, FIRM BODIES 00:07:09.595 --> 00:07:11.330 line:85% position:48% size:75% EXPLORING ONE ANOTHER WITH THE 00:07:11.397 --> 00:07:13.065 line:85% position:45% size:70% KIND OF EXCITEMENT THAT I'LL 00:07:13.132 --> 00:07:14.767 line:85% position:45% size:70% NEVER EXPERIENCE AGAIN IN MY 00:07:14.834 --> 00:07:15.501 line:85% position:18% size:13% LIFE. 00:07:15.568 --> 00:07:17.103 line:85% position:48% size:75% AND EVEN IF I TRY TO RECAPTURE 00:07:17.170 --> 00:07:18.971 line:85% position:50% size:78% MY YOUTH WITH A WILLING -- MIND 00:07:19.038 --> 00:07:20.439 line:85% position:40% size:58% YOU, WILLING -- TEENAGE 00:07:20.506 --> 00:07:21.908 line:85% position:48% size:73% PARTICIPANT, I GO TO PRISON?! 00:07:21.974 --> 00:07:23.509 line:85% position:50% size:80% YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO IN PRISON, 00:07:23.576 --> 00:07:24.210 line:85% position:18% size:15% BARRY? 00:07:24.277 --> 00:07:25.411 line:85% position:45% size:70% THERE'S A THING CALLED SALAD 00:07:25.478 --> 00:07:26.145 line:85% position:20% size:20% TOSSING. 00:07:26.212 --> 00:07:27.513 line:85% position:48% size:75% WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO PRISON, 00:07:27.580 --> 00:07:28.147 line:85% position:18% size:15% BARRY. 00:07:28.214 --> 00:07:29.849 line:85% position:40% size:60% I'M NOT GOING TO PRISON! 00:07:29.916 --> 00:07:31.818 line:85% position:30% size:38% ATTICA! ATTICA! 00:07:31.884 --> 00:07:34.153 line:85% position:23% size:25% >> ARTHUR! 00:07:34.220 --> 00:07:36.055 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> LET'S GO HAVE SEX, BABY. 00:07:36.122 --> 00:07:37.290 line:85% position:20% size:20% >> OKAY. 00:07:37.356 --> 00:07:38.858 line:85% position:33% size:45% [ Crying ] OH, NO. 00:07:38.925 --> 00:07:40.326 line:85% position:33% size:43% I'M SORRY, JESUS. 00:07:40.393 --> 00:07:41.727 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> ♪ FRUITY FABLES ♪ 00:07:41.794 --> 00:07:42.728 line:85% position:33% size:43% ♪ FRUITY FABLES ♪ 00:07:42.795 --> 00:07:44.564 line:85% position:38% size:53% [ CHILDREN LAUGHING ] 00:07:44.630 --> 00:07:46.833 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> THESE AMERICANS BUTCHER MY 00:07:46.899 --> 00:07:49.302 line:85% position:50% size:80% MEN LIKE -- WELL, LIKE I BUTCHER 00:07:49.368 --> 00:07:51.304 line:85% position:23% size:23% DER JEWS. 00:07:51.370 --> 00:07:52.538 line:85% position:33% size:45% DID THEY MARK YOU? 00:07:52.605 --> 00:07:53.940 line:85% position:38% size:53% >> YES, MEIN FUEHRER. 00:07:54.006 --> 00:07:56.642 line:85% position:28% size:35% >> LET ME SEE. 00:07:56.709 --> 00:07:58.778 line:85% position:48% size:75% WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SUPPOSED 00:07:58.845 --> 00:08:00.179 line:85% position:33% size:45% TO BE, A SWASTIKA? 00:08:00.246 --> 00:08:02.348 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> I THINK IT'S THE GLAIVE FROM 00:08:02.415 --> 00:08:04.116 line:85% position:20% size:20% "KRULL." 00:08:04.183 --> 00:08:06.986 line:85% position:25% size:30% >> REATERDZ! 00:08:07.053 --> 00:08:08.588 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> I'M PUTTING TOGETHER A 00:08:08.654 --> 00:08:09.522 line:85% position:28% size:33% SPECIAL TEAM. 00:08:09.589 --> 00:08:11.157 line:85% position:43% size:65% THE NAZIS ARE ROUNDING UP, 00:08:11.224 --> 00:08:12.925 line:85% position:45% size:70% KILLING, AND STERILIZING THE 00:08:12.992 --> 00:08:14.126 line:85% position:33% size:45% MENTALLY DISABLED. 00:08:14.193 --> 00:08:16.329 line:85% position:50% size:78% EACH OF YOU OWE ME 50 PIECES OF 00:08:16.395 --> 00:08:18.598 line:85% position:50% size:80% NAZI CANDY, AND I WANT MY CANDY. 00:08:18.664 --> 00:08:21.167 line:85% position:25% size:28% SOUND GOOD? 00:08:21.234 --> 00:08:23.102 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> MEIN GOD, LENI RIEFENSTAHL 00:08:23.169 --> 00:08:24.871 line:85% position:43% size:65% HAS REALLY LET HERSELF GO. 00:08:24.937 --> 00:08:26.606 line:85% position:33% size:43% GET OUT OF THE -- 00:08:31.944 --> 00:08:33.479 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> TARDS, TARDS, TARDS, TARDS! 00:08:33.546 --> 00:08:35.047 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> MEIN FUEHRER, I KNOW WE'RE 00:08:35.114 --> 00:08:36.582 line:85% position:48% size:73% EXTERMINATING THEIR KIND FROM 00:08:36.649 --> 00:08:38.184 line:85% position:48% size:75% THE FACE OF THE EARTH, BUT THE 00:08:38.251 --> 00:08:40.786 line:85% position:35% size:50% PREFERRED TERM IS -- 00:08:40.853 --> 00:08:42.989 line:85% position:50% size:80% >> TELL ME YOUR TROOP POSITIONS. 00:08:43.055 --> 00:08:44.757 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> I RESPECTFULLY REFUSE. 00:08:44.824 --> 00:08:46.058 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> GIVE ME CANDY. 00:08:46.125 --> 00:08:47.927 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> I RESPECT-- DID YOU JUST ASK 00:08:47.994 --> 00:08:48.694 line:85% position:23% size:25% FOR CANDY? 00:08:48.761 --> 00:08:49.762 line:85% position:30% size:38% I MIGHT HAVE -- 00:08:49.829 --> 00:08:50.997 line:85% position:35% size:48% >> YOU'RE TOO SLOW. 00:08:51.063 --> 00:08:54.967 line:85% position:33% size:43% SEND IN THE BEAR. 00:08:55.034 --> 00:08:56.769 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> OH, THANK GOODNESS. 00:08:56.836 --> 00:08:59.038 line:85% position:48% size:73% IT IS A BEAR LIKE A BEAR HUG, 00:08:59.105 --> 00:09:01.440 line:85% position:50% size:78% NOT LIKE THE BARE-NAKED JEW WHO 00:09:01.507 --> 00:09:02.575 line:85% position:25% size:30% WILL RAPE -- 00:09:02.642 --> 00:09:03.276 line:85% position:23% size:23% >> AAAAH! 00:09:03.342 --> 00:09:04.810 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> SO, WHO ARE YOUR THREE 00:09:04.877 --> 00:09:06.445 line:85% position:45% size:70% HANDSOME ESCORTS, FRAUELEIN? 00:09:06.512 --> 00:09:08.047 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> WHY, THEY'RE JUST THREE 00:09:08.114 --> 00:09:09.715 line:85% position:45% size:70% FRIENDS OF MINE, COL. LANDA. 00:09:09.782 --> 00:09:11.350 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> HELLO. NICE TO MEET YOU. 00:09:11.417 --> 00:09:12.785 line:85% position:30% size:40% >> OH, ITALIANS. 00:09:12.852 --> 00:09:14.153 line:85% position:30% size:38% RIGHT THIS WAY. 00:09:14.220 --> 00:09:16.489 line:85% position:38% size:55% [ PROJECTOR CLICKING ] 00:09:16.555 --> 00:09:17.957 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> TONIGHT'S MOVIE WILL BE 00:09:18.024 --> 00:09:19.025 line:85% position:33% size:43% "RADIO," STARRING 00:09:19.091 --> 00:09:20.026 line:85% position:30% size:40% CUBA GOODING JR. 00:09:20.092 --> 00:09:21.527 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> WH-WHERE IS MY PIE? 00:09:21.594 --> 00:09:22.461 line:85% position:25% size:30% [ LAUGHTER ] 00:09:22.528 --> 00:09:24.330 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> YOU WANT STRAWBERRY PIE OR 00:09:24.397 --> 00:09:25.164 line:85% position:23% size:25% APPLE PIE? 00:09:25.231 --> 00:09:28.901 line:85% position:43% size:65% >> I WANT B-B-B-B-- I WANT 00:09:28.968 --> 00:09:30.603 line:85% position:33% size:45% B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B... 00:09:30.670 --> 00:09:33.005 line:85% position:25% size:30% [ LAUGHTER ] 00:09:33.072 --> 00:09:37.410 line:85% position:50% size:78% ...B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B -- 00:09:37.476 --> 00:09:40.479 line:85% position:35% size:48% I WANT B-B-B-B-B... 00:09:40.546 --> 00:09:42.281 line:85% position:33% size:43% >> WHAT IN THE... 00:09:42.348 --> 00:09:46.252 line:85% position:48% size:75% >> ...B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B -- 00:09:46.319 --> 00:09:47.887 line:85% position:40% size:60% I WANT B-B-BOTH OF THEM. 00:09:47.954 --> 00:09:49.288 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 00:09:49.355 --> 00:09:51.324 line:85% position:50% size:78% I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS "RADIO" 00:09:51.390 --> 00:09:53.225 line:85% position:25% size:28% BULL[BLEEP] 00:09:53.292 --> 00:09:54.460 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> TURN OFF THE MOVIE! 00:09:54.527 --> 00:09:55.728 line:85% position:38% size:55% >> STOP THE PROJECTOR! 00:09:55.795 --> 00:09:57.096 line:85% position:43% size:63% >> YOU HATE "RADIO," TOO? 00:09:57.163 --> 00:09:59.598 line:85% position:45% size:68% >> WITH EVERY FIBER OF MEIN 00:09:59.665 --> 00:10:02.201 line:85% position:40% size:60% BEING, MEIN ITALIAN FR-- 00:10:02.268 --> 00:10:03.269 line:85% position:35% size:50% >> MONGO, WE DID IT! 00:10:03.336 --> 00:10:04.503 line:85% position:40% size:58% TO THINK, MY NEEDLESSLY 00:10:04.570 --> 00:10:05.905 line:85% position:45% size:70% COMPLICATED PLAN TO KILL HIM 00:10:05.972 --> 00:10:07.206 line:85% position:43% size:63% WITH A SHOWING OF "RADIO" 00:10:07.273 --> 00:10:08.641 line:85% position:50% size:80% FAILED, AND YET STILL, HITLER -- 00:10:08.708 --> 00:10:11.477 line:85% position:48% size:73% >> YOU KILLED MY BEST FRIEND! 00:10:11.544 --> 00:10:12.411 line:85% position:25% size:30% [ CRASHING ] 00:10:12.478 --> 00:10:13.679 line:85% position:33% size:45% >> THAT'S OUR CUE. 00:10:13.746 --> 00:10:14.680 line:85% position:28% size:33% [ SCREAMING ] 00:10:14.747 --> 00:10:16.649 line:85% position:50% size:78% >> WE WEREN'T THE ONES TEACHING 00:10:16.716 --> 00:10:17.383 line:85% position:18% size:15% RADIO. 00:10:17.450 --> 00:10:19.452 line:85% position:48% size:75% RADIO IS THE ONE BEEN TEACHING 00:10:19.518 --> 00:10:19.952 line:85% position:15% size:8% US. 00:10:20.019 --> 00:10:21.954 line:85% position:28% size:33% [ EXPLOSION ] 00:10:22.021 --> 00:10:23.956 line:85% position:35% size:50% [ FUNK MUSIC PLAYS ]