WEBVTT
X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:9000
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[ THUNDER CRASHING ]
[ DRILLING, SAWING ]
00:00:16.049 --> 00:00:30.930 line:10% position:10% size:63% align:start
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]
>> IT'S ALIVE!
00:00:30.997 --> 00:00:38.405 line:10% position:10% size:63% align:start
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]
>> IT'S ALIVE!
00:00:38.471 --> 00:00:40.907 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> SO, THAT ENDS OUR LESSON ON
STDs.
00:00:40.974 --> 00:00:43.943 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start
NEXT, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO
USE A CONDOM.
00:00:44.010 --> 00:00:47.547 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> UH, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
00:00:47.614 --> 00:00:51.351 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> WHAT THE -- WHERE THE HELL
DID ALL THESE HALF-BABY,
00:00:51.418 --> 00:00:53.086 line:85% position:40% size:60%
HALF-CABBAGES COME FROM?
00:00:53.153 --> 00:00:54.487 line:85% position:33% size:45%
OH, DAMN IT, CARL!
00:00:54.554 --> 00:00:57.624 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
>> THAT BOY CARL JERK OFF IN THE
CABBAGES AGAIN?!
00:00:57.690 --> 00:00:58.425 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> HE SURE DID!
00:00:58.491 --> 00:00:59.759 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> YOU GOT TO FIRE THAT BOY!
00:00:59.826 --> 00:01:01.227 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> I'M GONNA FIRE HIM RIGHT NOW.
00:01:01.294 --> 00:01:02.429 line:85% position:43% size:63%
CARL, YOU ARE FIRED, SIR!
00:01:02.495 --> 00:01:04.330 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
>> CARL, YOU ARE FIRED AND
DISGUSTING!
00:01:04.397 --> 00:01:06.833 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> I GOT THIS, HONEY. CARL --
>> YOU CAN'T JERK OFF ON
00:01:06.900 --> 00:01:07.767 line:85% position:33% size:45%
SOMEONE'S PRODUCE!
00:01:07.834 --> 00:01:09.068 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> I-I TOLD HIM THAT, HONEY.
00:01:09.135 --> 00:01:10.904 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE HERE,
CARL!
00:01:10.970 --> 00:01:12.772 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
>> YOU'RE [BLEEP] WITH OUR
LIVELIHOOD!
00:01:12.839 --> 00:01:15.375 line:79% position:45% size:70%
>> I TRIED TO HELP YOU, SON,
BECAUSE YOU'RE HOMELESS AND
00:01:15.442 --> 00:01:18.077 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
DRUG-ADDLED, BUT YOU CANNOT BE
MASTURBATING ON OUR PRODUCE,
00:01:18.144 --> 00:01:19.279 line:85% position:15% size:10%
SON.
00:01:19.345 --> 00:01:21.214 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
>> CARL, THAT IS NOT THE WAY YOU
MAKE A BABY, BY [BLEEP] ON A
00:01:21.281 --> 00:01:21.948 line:85% position:28% size:33%
CABBAGE HEAD!
00:01:22.015 --> 00:01:23.116 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> I GOT IT, HONEY.
00:01:23.183 --> 00:01:24.884 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> [BLEEP] WE CAN'T SELL IT IF
IT'S COVERED IN YOUR SEMEN.
00:01:24.951 --> 00:01:25.418 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> HE KNOWS.
00:01:25.485 --> 00:01:26.286 line:85% position:38% size:55%
I'VE ALREADY TOLD HIM.
00:01:26.352 --> 00:01:27.187 line:85% position:38% size:55%
CARL, GET OUT OF HERE!
00:01:27.253 --> 00:01:28.254 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> YOU'RE [BLEEP] DISGUSTING!
00:01:28.321 --> 00:01:29.689 line:79% position:28% size:78% align:start
>> YOU ARE FIRED, FIRED, FIRED,
FIRED!
00:01:29.756 --> 00:01:31.858 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
>> I DO NOT THINK WE'RE GONNA BE
ABLE TO RECOMMEND YOU FOR
00:01:31.925 --> 00:01:34.093 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
ANOTHER JOB, UNLESS THAT JOB
IMPLIES THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO
00:01:34.160 --> 00:01:34.961 line:85% position:38% size:55%
HAVE SEMEN ON PRODUCE!
00:01:35.028 --> 00:01:36.129 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> I'M NOT GONNA RECOMMEND YOU.
00:01:36.196 --> 00:01:38.264 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
IF ANYONE CALLS ME, I'M GONNA
TELL THEM YOU ARE A CHRONIC
00:01:38.331 --> 00:01:39.065 line:85% position:25% size:30%
MASTURBATOR!
00:01:39.132 --> 00:01:41.668 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
>> [BLEEP]
THERE'S SEMEN EVERYWHERE!
00:01:41.734 --> 00:01:43.970 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!
00:01:44.037 --> 00:01:46.239 line:85% position:45% size:70%
COME OUT OR WE'RE COMING IN!
00:01:46.306 --> 00:01:52.212 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
[ HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING ]
>> OKAY, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!
00:01:52.278 --> 00:01:53.480 line:79% position:10% size:38% align:start
>> [ GASPS ]
>> THERE HE IS!
00:01:53.546 --> 00:01:54.547 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> WHAT, BEHIND THE TURKEY?
00:01:54.614 --> 00:01:55.582 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> GET HIM!
00:01:55.648 --> 00:02:01.254 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
[ TURKEY GOBBLING ]
>> [ GROANING ]
00:02:01.321 --> 00:02:04.524 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
>> SO, ON THIS DAY OF
THANKSGIVING, I,
00:02:04.591 --> 00:02:09.729 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
PRESIDENT OBAMA, HEREBY PARDON
THIS TURKEY.
00:02:09.796 --> 00:02:15.802 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
[ BOTH GASP ]
>> OBAMA -- SOFT ON CRIME.
00:02:15.869 --> 00:02:17.570 line:10% position:38% size:55%
VOTE SARAH PALIN 2012.
00:02:17.637 --> 00:02:20.673 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start
>> DEAD OR ALIVE, YOU'RE COMING
WITH ME.
00:02:20.740 --> 00:02:22.375 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
00:02:22.442 --> 00:02:25.378 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> [ SIGHS ]
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IT, THEN.
00:02:25.445 --> 00:02:29.916 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
I MADE MY FIRST PIZZA AS A BOY
OF 13, AND NOW I'M MAKING MY
00:02:29.983 --> 00:02:30.984 line:85% position:35% size:48%
LAST PIZZA TONIGHT.
00:02:31.050 --> 00:02:33.052 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> NOBODY MADE THEM LIKE YOU,
GRAMPS.
00:02:33.119 --> 00:02:35.021 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start
>> HI. GOT A PIZZA FOR
SILVERSTEIN?
00:02:35.088 --> 00:02:36.222 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> HA HA HA!
00:02:36.289 --> 00:02:37.824 line:85% position:33% size:45%
HERE YOU ARE, SON.
00:02:37.891 --> 00:02:39.659 line:85% position:38% size:53%
YOU GOT THE LAST ONE.
00:02:39.726 --> 00:02:40.994 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> AW, THANKS.
00:02:41.060 --> 00:02:41.961 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> ENJOY.
00:02:42.028 --> 00:02:47.400 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
[ BELLS JINGLE, DOOR CLOSES ]
[ SOBBING ]
00:02:47.467 --> 00:02:49.836 line:79% position:28% size:33%
[ MUTTERING ]
>> AAH! AAH!
00:02:49.903 --> 00:02:52.438 line:79% position:10% size:30% align:start
[ WHISTLE! ]
AAH!
00:02:52.505 --> 00:02:54.274 line:85% position:35% size:48%
OW! SON OF A BITCH!
00:02:54.340 --> 00:02:55.642 line:85% position:28% size:33%
AH, SCREW IT.
00:02:55.708 --> 00:02:57.544 line:85% position:40% size:58%
I'LL GO TO BURGER KING.
00:02:57.610 --> 00:03:00.914 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
STUPID PIZZA. [ GRUNTS ]
[ HORN HONKS ]
00:03:00.980 --> 00:03:02.148 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> AH, PIZZA!
00:03:02.215 --> 00:03:04.183 line:79% position:10% size:30% align:start
[ GRUNTING ]
>> HEY!
00:03:04.250 --> 00:03:07.387 line:85% position:33% size:45%
I WANT THAT PIZZA!
00:03:07.453 --> 00:03:11.691 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start
[ WHIP! ]
I'M STARVING!
00:03:11.758 --> 00:03:13.693 line:79% position:10% size:43% align:start
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
>> POOP ON IT!
00:03:21.167 --> 00:03:27.707 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
>> [ GROANING, FARTING ]
>> [BLEEP]
00:03:27.774 --> 00:03:31.244 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> THE OLD MAN LATER DIED.
00:03:31.311 --> 00:03:33.479 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> [ BLEATS ]
00:03:42.689 --> 00:03:44.390 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> TARZAN LOVE JANE.
00:03:44.457 --> 00:03:48.995 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> I LOVE YOU, TOO, TAR--
>> BUT TARZAN NOT IN LOVE WITH
00:03:49.062 --> 00:03:49.696 line:85% position:18% size:13%
JANE.
00:03:49.762 --> 00:03:51.264 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> HELLO, YELLOW!
00:03:51.331 --> 00:03:52.665 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> HELLO!
00:03:52.732 --> 00:04:00.907 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
[ SPY MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> DO IT! DO IT!
00:04:00.974 --> 00:04:01.741 line:85% position:25% size:28%
JUST DO IT!
00:04:01.808 --> 00:04:05.011 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
[ GUNSHOT ]
[ CROWD SCREAMING ]
00:04:05.078 --> 00:04:07.947 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
>> [ SNORTS ]
[ WRIST DEVICE BEEPING ]
00:04:08.014 --> 00:04:08.715 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> WHAT'S HE DOING?
00:04:08.781 --> 00:04:13.186 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> TAKE HIM DOWN! TAKE HIM DOWN!
00:04:13.252 --> 00:04:16.723 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
>> [ LAUGHS ]
00:04:16.789 --> 00:04:20.360 line:85% position:38% size:55%
OH, HE WAS TEXTING ME.
00:04:20.426 --> 00:04:23.696 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> WE SHOULD, UH, PROBABLY GET
OUR STORIES STRAIGHT.
00:04:23.763 --> 00:04:25.164 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> MMM! MOM, THIS IS SO GOOD.
00:04:25.231 --> 00:04:26.165 line:85% position:25% size:28%
WHAT IS IT?
00:04:26.232 --> 00:04:28.301 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> IT'S CALLED "COLE SLAW,"
HONEY, ALSO KNOWN AS
00:04:28.368 --> 00:04:29.535 line:79% position:10% size:30% align:start
"POOR-PEOPLE
SALAD."
00:04:29.602 --> 00:04:31.671 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> MMM! IT'S DELICIOUS!
00:04:31.738 --> 00:04:33.906 line:85% position:35% size:48%
HOW DO YOU MAKE IT?
00:04:33.973 --> 00:04:35.408 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> ARE YOU MY DADDY?
00:04:35.475 --> 00:04:36.509 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> SURE, KID.
00:04:36.576 --> 00:04:38.678 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> OH. THIS DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT.
00:04:38.745 --> 00:04:41.681 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start
[ SCREAMING ]
[ SCREAMING CONTINUES ]
00:04:51.090 --> 00:04:52.125 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> SO, I JUST MOVED TO L.A.
00:04:52.191 --> 00:04:53.660 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
YOU WANT TO GET SOME
DUNKIN' DONUTS?
00:04:53.726 --> 00:04:58.731 line:79% position:38% size:55%
>> BRAH, WE DON'T HAVE
DUNKIN' DONUTS IN L.A.
00:04:58.798 --> 00:05:00.733 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
[ EERIE MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> "KNOCK, KNOCK."
00:05:13.513 --> 00:05:15.381 line:79% position:28% size:35%
"WHO'S THERE?"
"STEVE JOBS."
00:05:15.448 --> 00:05:17.717 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
"WELL, YOU'VE MADE MY LIFE
AWESOME."
00:05:17.784 --> 00:05:19.986 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
"OH? HOW GRACIOUS OF YOU,
AMERICA."
00:05:20.053 --> 00:05:22.555 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> OH, COMPACT DISC, SO CLEAR,
SO CRISP.
00:05:22.622 --> 00:05:24.991 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
JOBS WILL PAY FOR MAKING YOU
OBSOLETE.
00:05:25.058 --> 00:05:27.060 line:85% position:28% size:33%
HAVE AT THEE!
00:05:27.126 --> 00:05:30.263 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start
[ DISC SHATTERS ]
YOU'VE RUINED MY PLAN!
00:05:30.329 --> 00:05:31.431 line:85% position:20% size:20%
>> WHAT?
00:05:31.497 --> 00:05:33.900 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start
JOBS WOULD BE DEAD RIGHT NOW IF
YOU HADN'T SHOWN UP.
00:05:33.966 --> 00:05:34.867 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> WHO ARE YOU?
00:05:34.934 --> 00:05:36.936 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> I'M ZUNEMAN!
00:05:37.003 --> 00:05:38.571 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> AH, THE LEGENDS ARE TRUE.
00:05:38.638 --> 00:05:39.639 line:85% position:30% size:40%
>> THAT'S RIGHT!
00:05:39.706 --> 00:05:42.008 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
>> THERE IS A SADDER HERO THAN
MYSELF.
00:05:42.075 --> 00:05:45.578 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
>> HEY! AT LEAST I'M NOT AN
OUTDATED FORMAT THAT'S ONLY USED
00:05:45.645 --> 00:05:46.446 line:85% position:33% size:43%
AS A COASTER NOW.
00:05:46.512 --> 00:05:47.547 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
00:05:47.613 --> 00:05:48.781 line:85% position:28% size:33%
YOU'RE WORSE.
00:05:48.848 --> 00:05:51.117 line:79% position:50% size:78%
YOUR STATE-OF-THE-ART SOFTWARE
AND CRYSTAL-CLEAR SOUND QUALITY
00:05:51.184 --> 00:05:53.553 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
ARE MATCHED ONLY BY YOUR
TERRIBLE PRODUCT DESIGN AND
00:05:53.619 --> 00:05:54.954 line:85% position:48% size:75%
COUNTERINTUITIVE MENU DISPLAY.
00:05:55.021 --> 00:05:56.522 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> WE'RE WORKING ON IT!
00:05:56.589 --> 00:05:59.058 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
[ GRUNTS ]
>> WELL, FOR SOMEONE WITH
00:05:59.125 --> 00:06:01.060 line:85% position:50% size:78%
120 GIGS, YOU MOVE PRETTY SLOW.
00:06:01.127 --> 00:06:03.262 line:79% position:10% size:45% align:start
[ WHOOSH! SLICE! ]
>> RUH-ROH!
00:06:03.329 --> 00:06:05.798 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOT A
SCRATCH.
00:06:05.865 --> 00:06:08.167 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
GUESS I'LL HAVE TO BUY A NEW
ONE.
00:06:08.234 --> 00:06:09.836 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> THEY HAVE REPAIR KITS!
00:06:09.902 --> 00:06:11.971 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start
[ GUNSHOT ]
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, CD?
00:06:12.038 --> 00:06:13.172 line:85% position:40% size:60%
I TOLD YOU, YOU'RE OVER.
00:06:13.239 --> 00:06:14.507 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start
[ SHING! ]
[ GUN COCKS ]
00:06:14.574 --> 00:06:15.675 line:85% position:40% size:58%
DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU.
00:06:15.742 --> 00:06:17.577 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> YOU ALREADY HAVE!
00:06:17.643 --> 00:06:21.481 line:85% position:18% size:13%
AAAH!
00:06:21.547 --> 00:06:22.448 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> HE'S DEAD.
00:06:22.515 --> 00:06:23.549 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> WHO ARE YOU?
00:06:23.616 --> 00:06:24.450 line:85% position:25% size:30%
>> I'M ZUNE!
00:06:24.517 --> 00:06:25.251 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> REALLY?
00:06:25.318 --> 00:06:26.452 line:85% position:33% size:43%
[ Laughing ] WOW!
00:06:26.519 --> 00:06:27.954 line:85% position:40% size:58%
WHAT A TERRIBLE DESIGN.
00:06:28.020 --> 00:06:29.155 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> MAKE IT QUICK.
00:06:29.222 --> 00:06:29.889 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> HMM...
00:06:29.956 --> 00:06:31.657 line:85% position:48% size:73%
I WOULDN'T WASTE THE BULLETS.
00:06:31.724 --> 00:06:32.425 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> PLEASE!
00:06:32.492 --> 00:06:33.993 line:85% position:43% size:63%
DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS.
00:06:34.060 --> 00:06:34.560 line:85% position:15% size:8%
NO!
00:06:34.627 --> 00:06:36.529 line:85% position:38% size:55%
>> DADDY, WHAT'S THAT?
00:06:36.596 --> 00:06:38.197 line:85% position:40% size:60%
>> I THINK IT'S A PAGER.
00:06:40.867 --> 00:06:45.805 line:79% position:10% size:50% align:start
[ BANGING ]
>> HEY, WHAT'S THAT?
00:06:45.872 --> 00:06:49.242 line:85% position:28% size:35%
W-WHO'S THERE?
00:06:49.308 --> 00:06:50.209 line:85% position:33% size:43%
DAMN IT, ALFONSE!
00:06:50.276 --> 00:06:52.311 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
THAT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR
COLLEGE FUND.
00:06:52.378 --> 00:07:01.420 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
>> [ CRYING ]
>> [ GASPS ] A TEDDY RUXPIN?!
00:07:01.487 --> 00:07:04.390 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
HE CAN PLAY ANY TAPE, AND HE
MOVES HIS MOUTH ALONG WITH THE
00:07:04.457 --> 00:07:05.024 line:85% position:18% size:15%
WORDS!
00:07:05.091 --> 00:07:06.325 line:85% position:45% size:70%
OH! THANKS, UNCLE GALLAGHER!
00:07:06.392 --> 00:07:07.426 line:85% position:35% size:50%
>> LET'S TRY IT OUT!
00:07:07.493 --> 00:07:11.364 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
I'VE GOT A COPY OF MY STAND-UP
SPECIAL, "MELON CRAZY."
00:07:11.430 --> 00:07:13.599 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
[ WHIP! WHIP! ]
00:07:13.666 --> 00:07:18.437 line:79% position:10% size:43% align:start
[ WARBLE! WHIP! ]
>> AAH!
00:07:18.504 --> 00:07:24.143 line:79% position:10% size:45% align:start
[ GRUNTS ]
[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
00:07:24.210 --> 00:07:26.145 line:85% position:15% size:10%
AAH!
00:07:29.148 --> 00:07:31.484 line:85% position:50% size:78%
NO! HE'S GOT A CYANIDE CAPSULE.
00:07:31.551 --> 00:07:34.720 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start
DON'T YOU BITE DOWN, YOU SON OF
A BITCH!
00:07:34.787 --> 00:07:36.789 line:85% position:43% size:65%
YOU'RE GONNA PLAY MY TAPE!
00:07:36.856 --> 00:07:40.893 line:79% position:10% size:53% align:start
>> [ GURGLES ]
>> HE'S -- HE'S GONE.
00:07:40.960 --> 00:07:43.129 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
AH. WE'LL HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
00:07:43.196 --> 00:07:47.433 line:79% position:10% size:38% align:start
>> [ GASPS ]
>> N-O-O-O-O-O!
00:07:47.500 --> 00:07:48.734 line:85% position:35% size:48%
>> WHOO! ALL RIGHT!
00:07:48.801 --> 00:07:52.605 line:79% position:50% size:78%
I'M NICKY PASSION, AND I'M HERE
TO SHOW YOU HOW TO MANAGE YOUR
00:07:52.672 --> 00:07:53.472 line:85% position:25% size:28%
TEAM AND...
00:07:53.539 --> 00:07:55.208 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> All: ACHIEVE YOUR DREAM!
00:07:55.274 --> 00:07:56.175 line:85% position:28% size:33%
>> ALL RIGHT!
00:07:56.242 --> 00:07:58.511 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
OH, CHECK OUT THE MUG ON THIS
ONE.
00:07:58.578 --> 00:08:02.114 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
HEY, MIRROR, MIRROR ON YOUR
FACE, WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO THIS
00:08:02.181 --> 00:08:03.149 line:85% position:28% size:35%
HELPFUL PLACE?
00:08:03.216 --> 00:08:05.117 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> WELL, I RUN MY OWN BUSINESS.
00:08:05.184 --> 00:08:06.719 line:85% position:43% size:63%
>> I'M KIDDING, REARVIEW.
00:08:06.786 --> 00:08:07.854 line:85% position:30% size:40%
I READ YOUR BIO.
00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:09.055 line:85% position:33% size:43%
I KNOW THE STORY.
00:08:09.121 --> 00:08:11.457 line:85% position:50% size:80%
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR VIDEO.
00:08:11.524 --> 00:08:14.327 line:85% position:40% size:58%
>> NEXT TIME, G.I. JOE!
00:08:14.393 --> 00:08:16.896 line:85% position:35% size:50%
NEXT TIME, G.I. JOE!
00:08:16.963 --> 00:08:19.465 line:85% position:35% size:50%
NEXT TIME, G.I. JOE.
00:08:19.532 --> 00:08:21.901 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> BUT THAT NEXT TIME NEVER
COMES, DOES IT?
00:08:21.968 --> 00:08:23.135 line:85% position:18% size:15%
>> NO.
00:08:23.202 --> 00:08:25.805 line:79% position:23% size:80% align:start
>> MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU STOPPED
COBRA COMMANDING AND START COBRA
00:08:25.872 --> 00:08:26.739 line:85% position:25% size:28%
COMMENDING.
00:08:26.806 --> 00:08:29.041 line:79% position:10% size:58% align:start
YOU RUN ONE OF THE MOST
SUCCESSFUL TERRORIST
00:08:29.108 --> 00:08:30.543 line:85% position:45% size:68%
ORGANIZATIONS IN THE WORLD.
00:08:30.610 --> 00:08:32.645 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
ISN'T THAT SOMETHING TO BE PROUD
OF?
00:08:32.712 --> 00:08:33.913 line:85% position:25% size:28%
>> I GUESS.
00:08:33.980 --> 00:08:36.816 line:79% position:50% size:80%
>> MAYBE ONCE YOU STEP BACK AND
LOOK, YOU'LL REALIZE THAT YOU'VE
00:08:36.883 --> 00:08:37.516 line:85% position:23% size:25%
ALREADY...
00:08:37.583 --> 00:08:39.552 line:85% position:45% size:70%
>> All: ACHIEVED YOUR DREAM!
00:08:39.619 --> 00:08:41.754 line:85% position:50% size:78%
>> THAT'S NOT EXACTLY MY DREAM.
00:08:41.821 --> 00:08:43.856 line:85% position:38% size:53%
I PAID $300 FOR THIS?
00:08:43.923 --> 00:08:44.824 line:85% position:33% size:45%
>> I'M SORRY, SIR.
00:08:44.891 --> 00:08:46.726 line:79% position:10% size:65% align:start
I DON'T SEE A NAME TAG FOR
CY-KILL.
00:08:46.792 --> 00:08:48.728 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
>> BUT I TOLD CRASHER TO BOOK MY
TRIP.
00:08:48.794 --> 00:08:49.962 line:85% position:40% size:60%
SHE MUST HAVE FAILED ME.
00:08:50.029 --> 00:08:52.298 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
YOU SEE, I NEED THIS SEMINAR
MORE THAN ANYONE.
00:08:52.365 --> 00:08:52.999 line:85% position:23% size:23%
>> SORRY.
00:08:53.065 --> 00:08:54.467 line:85% position:50% size:80%
THERE'S REALLY NOTHING I CAN DO.
00:08:54.533 --> 00:08:57.603 line:79% position:50% size:80%
>> WELL, THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN
DO ABOUT ME TAKING ALL THE FREE
00:08:57.670 --> 00:08:58.404 line:85% position:20% size:20%
COOKIES.
00:08:58.471 --> 00:09:03.609 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
[ ENGINE REVS ]
[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]
00:09:03.676 --> 00:09:06.345 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start
>> I AM MEGATRON, LEADER OF THE
DECEPTICONS.
00:09:06.412 --> 00:09:08.915 line:79% position:10% size:63% align:start
>> AW, SOUNDS MORE LIKE A
SELF-DECEPTICON.
00:09:08.981 --> 00:09:10.650 line:85% position:48% size:73%
[ LAUGHS ] LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
00:09:10.716 --> 00:09:13.586 line:85% position:50% size:80%
>> THIS IS YOUR FAULT, MEGATRON!
00:09:13.653 --> 00:09:17.623 line:85% position:50% size:78%
YOU'RE FIRING BLANKS, MEGATRON!
00:09:17.690 --> 00:09:19.292 line:85% position:50% size:80%
HOW DO MY BALLS TASTE, MEGATRON?
00:09:19.358 --> 00:09:21.060 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
>> AND WHAT'S YOUR GIRL FRIDAY'S
NAME?
00:09:21.127 --> 00:09:21.794 line:85% position:28% size:35%
>> STARSCREAM.
00:09:21.861 --> 00:09:23.362 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> LISTEN TO ME NOW, TONS OF
FUN.
00:09:23.429 --> 00:09:26.599 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
IT'S NOT THE GUN IN THE FIGHT
BUT THE FIGHT IN THE GUN.
00:09:26.666 --> 00:09:29.135 line:79% position:35% size:50%
AND THIS GUY HERE IS
STARSCREAMING FOR AN
00:09:29.201 --> 00:09:30.069 line:85% position:28% size:33%
ASS-WHUPPING!
00:09:30.136 --> 00:09:31.270 line:85% position:33% size:43%
LISTEN TO ME NOW.
00:09:31.337 --> 00:09:35.808 line:79% position:48% size:75%
YOU STAND FOR NUMBER ONE, BUT
YOU ALWAYS SIT FOR NUMBER TWO.
00:09:35.875 --> 00:09:37.276 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> AH. THANK YOU.
00:09:37.343 --> 00:09:38.477 line:85% position:45% size:68%
>> ALL RIGHT. THERE YOU GO.
00:09:38.544 --> 00:09:40.479 line:79% position:10% size:75% align:start
ALL RIGHT. WE GOT TIME FOR ONE
MORE, FOLKS.
00:09:40.546 --> 00:09:41.981 line:79% position:10% size:48% align:start
WHERE IS --
[ SCOOTER BEEPING ]
00:09:42.048 --> 00:09:43.549 line:79% position:10% size:55% align:start
[ WHIP! ]
CHARMIN, YOU ALL GOOD?
00:09:43.616 --> 00:09:44.550 line:85% position:38% size:53%
>> WHAT? WHO'S THERE?
00:09:44.617 --> 00:09:45.151 line:85% position:23% size:25%
>> WHOOPS.
00:09:45.217 --> 00:09:46.285 line:85% position:43% size:65%
I THINK I WOKE HIM, FOLKS.
00:09:46.352 --> 00:09:47.553 line:85% position:30% size:38%
>> WHO'S THERE?
00:09:47.620 --> 00:09:49.789 line:79% position:50% size:78%
>> ANYWAY, TOMMY, DO ME A FAVOR
AND PUT THAT SHAME SPOTLIGHT ON
00:09:49.855 --> 00:09:52.325 line:85% position:38% size:53%
THE GAY BLADE IN 13C!
00:09:52.391 --> 00:09:53.259 line:85% position:33% size:43%
>> OH, OH, NICKY!
00:09:53.326 --> 00:09:55.161 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start
>> BONES, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
00:09:55.227 --> 00:09:56.796 line:79% position:10% size:73% align:start
I TOLD YOU, MAN, I CAN'T HELP
YOU.
00:09:56.862 --> 00:09:59.131 line:79% position:43% size:65%
>> BUT I'VE BEEN DOING THE
EXERCISES YOU GAVE ME AND
00:09:59.198 --> 00:10:00.366 line:85% position:45% size:70%
WRITING IN MY DREAM JOURNAL.
00:10:00.433 --> 00:10:02.535 line:79% position:10% size:70% align:start
>> HAVE -- HAVE YOU DEFEATED
HE-MAN ONCE YET?
00:10:02.601 --> 00:10:03.970 line:79% position:10% size:33% align:start
>> WELL --
>> JUST ONCE?
00:10:04.036 --> 00:10:06.939 line:79% position:25% size:78% align:start
>> I MEAN, WHAT DOES "DEFEATED"
EVEN REALLY MEAN, YOU KNOW?
00:10:07.006 --> 00:10:10.076 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
I MEAN, ONE MAN'S DEFEAT IS JUST
ANOTHER MAN'S -- HEE HEE, I'LL
00:10:10.142 --> 00:10:10.843 line:85% position:20% size:20%
JUST GO.
00:10:10.910 --> 00:10:12.645 line:79% position:10% size:68% align:start
>> ALL RIGHT, GET ON OUT OF
HERE.
00:10:12.712 --> 00:10:16.048 line:79% position:25% size:80% align:start
AND REMEMBER, FOLKS, YOU CAN'T
BE THE TOP DOG IF YOU ACT LIKE A
00:10:16.115 --> 00:10:16.549 line:85% position:18% size:15%
PUSSY.
00:10:16.615 --> 00:10:18.217 line:85% position:33% size:43%
ENJOY YOUR LUNCH!
00:10:18.284 --> 00:10:24.156 line:79% position:48% size:73%
[ ROCK-'N'-ROLL MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
00:10:24.223 --> 00:10:26.258 line:79% position:38% size:53%
[ CLOTH UNRAVELING ]
>> All: [ MURMURING ]
00:10:26.325 --> 00:10:28.127 line:85% position:48% size:73%
>> I CAN SEE YOUR MUMM-BALLS.
00:10:28.194 --> 00:10:29.862 line:85% position:43% size:65%
>> WATCH OUT! EVIL RAISIN!
00:10:29.929 --> 00:10:33.232 line:79% position:10% size:60% align:start
>> OH, LOOKS LIKE AN OLD
HACKY SACK.
00:10:33.299 --> 00:10:35.634 line:10% position:10% size:60% align:start
>> ♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
00:10:35.701 --> 00:10:37.770 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
00:10:37.837 --> 00:10:39.905 line:10% position:38% size:53%
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
00:10:39.972 --> 00:10:42.074 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
00:10:42.141 --> 00:10:44.210 line:10% position:38% size:53%
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK ♪
00:10:44.276 --> 00:10:46.412 line:10% position:23% size:78% align:start
♪ BA-BAWK BAWK BAWK-A-WAWK WAWK
BAWK BAWK ♪
00:10:46.479 --> 00:10:48.414 line:10% position:28% size:35%
BA-GAWK! BAWK.